Author has written 5 stories for Digimon, and Naruto.
Name: Jason Tombs
Height: 6' 8"(Yeah, I know)
Occupations: Director/Actor for Hell's Gate Films, Writer for DevilKeys Writing(obviously), Co-Founder of 8th Circle Productions
I live in Pennsylvania
I graduated from Penn. State University
My girlfriend, Clarice, lives with ME, not the other way around
I'm an Atheist, though I prefer the term "Pearlist"(PEARL is an acronym standing for Physical Evidence And Reasoned Logic, however, I find it easier to just say I'm an Atheist and leave it at that since most people don't know what a Pearlist is). FYI, "PEARL" is a term that, as far as I know, was created by(or at least brought into popularity)a man who goes by the alias "Thunderf00t".
I also share my home with five of my best friends/co-workers
Things I Hate/Dislike:
Black people who blame white people for all their problems
People who blame others for their problems in general
Monkeys, don't ask why
Badly directed movies
People that have no pride in themselves
People who complain about their lives when they really have nothing to complain about
Political Parties; ALL of them
Overly religious people that keep telling me I'm going to go to hell, ENOUGH, I know! I already have an apartment picked out. (Right by the River of the Damned, very nice.)
People who write good stories, then just drop them out of the blue
People who will talk to you for hours and interrupt you when you try and talk, then get mad at you when you don't say anything
People who tell the same unfunny joke multiple times...in the same hour
"Waterproof" cameras that don't work as advertised
People who keep trying to step into the frame when you're trying to shoot a movie
People who talk a lot of shit, but can't back it up
People who can't take a hint
Badly written stories that the authors keep going, usually due to the fact that they get nothing but praise
Stories that are rated M, but have no blood, gore, language, or sex
The person who invented Yaoi
People who write truly weird and disturbing Yaoi(i.e.: NarutoxSasuke...Not exceptionally creepy, per se, but add a little something known as "mpreg" to that and you get one of the many definitions of the word "Abomination")
Everything about Yaoi(I have nothing against gay people, but keep that shit away from me)
The complete overload of Yaoi on this website for certain series and characters(i.e.: Digimon series, Daisuke/DavisxTaichi/Tai, etc...)
People who hate Rock/Metal, and all it's variations, except Emo Rock, people can hate that all they want(this one is reserved for the people who say Metal is nothing but a bunch of incoherent screaming and random instrumental noise)
People with extremely bad grammar/spelling that make no effort to improve upon it, regardless of how many people say they should
People who can't properly spell the names of anime/manga characters...even when they are ten chapters into the story
And many, many, many, many, MANY more things that I don't feel like typing down.
Things I like:
Music(I'll listen to *almost* anything)
Mixed Martial Arts
Good movie soundtracks
And many more things(A pretty vague list of things, but there's no real reason to go in-depth with it)
Digimon(specifically Season 3)
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Green Green TV(fuckin' hilarious!)
Chobits(also quite funny)
Darker Than Black
And a few more.
I'mo kick yo' ass!(At the start of EVERY video game binge)
I can feel my braincells committing suicide(When I'm extremely bored)
I'm sorry, what now?(When I'm ignoring someone)
You think I give a good goddamn?!(You know you've had these moments too)
I'm going to rip your spine out and use it for a coat hanger!(One of my favorite threats since I was twelve)
Whooptie-fuckin'-doo!(I think this is called "Sarcasm")
Can it, Gaylord.(To the gay clerk at Hot Topic that refuses to acknowledge his gayness, even when I caught him staring at my ass in a mirror)
There may, or may not be something living in your pocket.(Little cousin after he broke my PS2 memory card)
We have a situation here!...I'm bored!(Seriously, when get bored, bad things happen)
What in zee hell?!(With completely retarded french accent while making prank calls)
Hey, fuck you, man!(Tony Montana accent optional)
Caffine'll kill ya'!(After reading an article about some guy drinking four cans of Monster energy drinks, running outside, then getting hit by a bus)
LIAR!!(To get the full effect of this, you have to throw a random object at someone before saying it)
Death waits for no one, but I'll give you a ten second head start.(A T-shirt that I made)
This is no time for your fagosity!(Halo team tournament)
Stop your fagotronics right now!(before anyone says that I took these from South Park, I was saying that before South Park was invented.)
Don't give me a reason, no one will miss you.(And if they do, well...)
I'll bet you feel *real* proud of yourself right now.(After some prick got a lucky headshot on me and started bragging about it...then I shot him in the ass point-blank and teabagged him for five straight minutes!)
Put a cock in it!(One time some drunk chick at a bar actually did just that, not to me, but it was hilarious)
Is there a pill for what's wrong with you?
You know, it might've helped if you had bigger tits. I still wouldn't have listened to you, but at least I'd have had something to stare at while you rambled on.
Touch me and die.(To anyone who doesn't know me, but still thinks they can be all chumy anyway)
When life give you lemons, punch it in the face and take some apples.(Seize the day, motherfuckers!)
BOOT!!(Right after I kick someone in the ass..or the face)
You just HAD to say something, didn't you?!(When someone says, "At least 'this' didn't happen", then it happens)
You have just been violated!!(I have a habit of shooting people in the ass with the shotgun when I play Halo)
Take Captain Hook out of your ass and let's go!(Weird Halloween party)
Get the fuck outta the way, you'll ruin my shot!(Used both for photography and hunting)
If you can see my face while I'm driving, let me know so I can run you over.(Bumper sticker)
My truck has bigger tires than yours, therefore, I go first.(Also bumper sticker, but not mine)
I want a good, clean fight...here's some bottles and a couple rocks, LET'S GET IT ON!!(Whenever someone says, "Let's take this outside" when I'm in a bar)
Did you feel...molested when you woke up?(I warned him about that woman, and that's all I'm saying)
I'll sodomize you with a rusty chainsaw!(I keep one in the toolshed...just in case)
Find the kid that no one talks to, and talk to him every day. You'll live longer.(Personal motto of mine ever since grade school)
There are easier, and less painful ways to commit suicide.(To anyone that pisses me off)
Give me a dictionary, I'm going to smack some knowledge into you!
What the hell do I think about when I'm asleep?(Woke up once with my pillow stuffed down my shirt like body armor)
There are things going on in my mind that I don't even know about...(Watched "That 70s Show" and found out that this was true)
Well, when zombies eventually take over the world and eat our brains, look on the bright side! You'll have a lot of hot blonde chicks to keep you company!(Do I really have to explain?)
Are you always this stupid? Or are you making a special effort just for me?(Said to many an Idiot at Taco Bell)
I'M IN UR HOUSE STEALIN' UR PORN!!(I've actually called someone just to tell them that)
Now then, a couple things about my stories:
Black Flames Dance In The Wind: Rise of Naruto
I did it with the first chapter, and that alone took over a month and resulted in a doubled wordcount. So if I did it for every chapter that needed it, it would be well over a year before I ever got around to updating. So I'll have to ask you guys to just bear with it until I can fix what needs to be fixed.
Tamer of the Hazard
This story is still active, despite the time between updates. The problem is that between Black Flames and random plot ideas, there isn't a lot of time left to devote to TotH. Plus, I'm just not getting very many ideas for it; and the ones I am getting are for scenes that won't take place until MUCH later in the story. I've got nothing for the here and now.
The plan was to start the next chapter with a fight between BlackGatomon and an upgraded Soulmon. But as I started writing it, it became clear that this kind of fight scene was a bit more..."abstract" than what I'm used to writing. It's not a major fight, so I'm trying to keep things short, yet satisfying. But that's proving to be a bitch and a half, so I might end up scrapping it altogether.
Tamer of the Night
The rewrite, whenever I get around to it, will focus on the origins of "Agent 17". Meaning, we'll get to see when Takato first joined The Agency(despite the organization name, agent aliases and some assassination methods, the story will have NO relation to the Hitman video game series), and how he got through his training. It will also explain how he went from a pipsqueak, to a 6'4" "giant", and why everyone just seems to accept it without question(Hint: it wasn't natural at all).
The rewrite will basically focus on things I had planned to explain via flashbacks in the original story. Somewhere along the line, I found that the flashbacks would make for a better story than the main story itself, and hopefully you guys will agree.
As of 12/08/2012, Tamer of the Night has been adopted by "moonrose221". No idea what he/she will do with it, but it's out of my hands now, and I can't say I'm sad to watch it go.
Now, some things I feel I should address here, so I don't have to keep saying them over and over whenever I update my stories.
I DO NOT DO CHALLENGES. EVER.
If I can't even keep a decent update schedule with the two active stories I have, what makes you think I want to add more onto the workload? I'm flattered when people apparently think I'm a good enough author to be trusted with bringing their own ideas to life, but that's just not what I do.
And it's not just about having another story eat up my writing time. By definition, a challenge-fic is written for someone else. That means there are constraints involved; things that you HAVE to do in order to stay within the guidelines of the challenge. I don't fancy being limited like that. I find that when I have limits imposed on what I can do, I lose a lot of the drive to write, and the story suffers for it.
And then there's the fact that you can't really take your time with it, as you're basically under contract. It's just a whole bunch of crap I'd rather not deal with.
And notice I said "suggestions", not "demands". If you come at me with orders to do things your way, I'm just going to laugh at you. I don't care how you think the story "should" be. If you don't like the way it's going, write your own. But as long as it's my story, what I say goes. Don't like it? Take 10, add 4, divide by 7, subtract 2, and you'll be left with the number of fucks I give.
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