(Image from WARHAMMER 40,000, of two Tau Fire Warriors)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, Kenrai, The Devil Deity, Crocodile, Punishment Due, spearofhope , EternalFlare

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abrocombie and Fitch said breathing wasn't cool. Post this on your profile if your one of the 8 percent laughing their heads off

About the Author:

What is up. This is EternalFlare. I am the Flare that burns for all of Eternity, which is an oxymoron. Laugh. LAUGH DAMN YOU.

I love laffing at things and I love people laffing at things I've did. Me talks in Engrish often times, for zero reason other then that I take pleasure on it. I write The Nameless Parody series about Silent Hill (though I might branch off someday) and some other fanafections for this site. It's nonsense jarble that has been arranged to be like a story. So, if you like randomnessisity and Silent Hill, it's a perfect match.

I also wrote some other stoffs for Silent Hill that I hate. Like The Red Angel. And The Holy Mother. And The Siege of Grandville. Makes me wonder why I even posted those things. Guess I was just eager to jump into FanFicting. So that is why I don't give anyone I know links to this page -- if they read the Parody (thumbs up) they might read The Red Angel (thumbs down). 11 year-olds have shit for writing talent. Mostly. Genuinely. Verily. Some sixteen year olds have shit for writing talent. Some forty-year-old Mormon women have shit for writing talent. Lol. I'll stop now. Not because I have to, but because I want to.

Why are you still here? Go away. Go read something that I've written and give it a bad review so I can make fun of it on me Paradox. Or write me a good review and I'll mention it me Parody. Or write me something constructive that falls into either category and I'll talk about it with you like a normal person. Well, don't bother reading my early works, because I don't care about those. Those are shit. Avoid at all costs.

Oh, and who is me? I'm a sixteen year old boy from a small town who likes video games and writtings.

Update

Top Five Favorite Songs:

1. Stinkfist, by Tool. Easily the best song ever made. It's kinda haunting toward the middle-end, and I love songs like that. The topic is an important one (how people are desensitized by media), and the guitar riff at 3:30 feels so epic to me. Maynard Keenan's vocals are amazing, too. He doesn't strain or anything, or belt out opera-esque stuff, but his voice has a strange quantity that completes the song. As you may have guessed, Tool is my favorite band.

2. Dazed and Confused, by Led Zeppelin. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS SONG? It opens slow and soft, then Page comes in with the shrill wail of his guitar, Jones lays down the rhythym, and Bonham does his thing. Then Bonham has over 9000 small drum solos. Then it gets fast, and the kickin' solo comes by, and then the epic drum solo by Bonham, the break, and the awesome reentry, then the song resumes the old pattern, and then it ends. John Bonham is the best drummer ever, with the sole exception of Neil Peart. Keith Moon is still amazing, though. Page is an amazing guitarist, Jones is a sweet bassist, and Robert Plant's vocals function kind of like an instrument in this song, which makes me feel warm inside. The only thing this song could do better is include the guitar solo from The Song Remains the Same (the first one).

3. Lateralus, by Tool. A colossal nine minutes long, this song is average length for a Tool song. When I first heard it, it haunted me for a while -- I had to hear it again. The opening riff, to the mind blowing riff that follows it, to the cryptic following lyrics which are arranged in a numerical pattern. Try to figure out what is mathematically important behind the lyrics: (Black/Then/White are/ all I see/ In my infancy/Red and yellow then came to be/Reaching out to me/ Let's me see). Hint: it's a pattern. Anyway, then there's the chorus, which is ethereal in nature, and the rest of the song is pretty mellow and enjoyable, then it gets to the "Swing on the spiral" part and gets awesome again, and ends with explosive bass riff (which I'm pretty sure occurred somewhere in the beginning). Again, Keenan's lyrics and vocals are mind blowing. What's the song about? That's kinda for you to decide. Trust me though, the album (Lateralus) is a huge puzzle. I haven't cracked it, but I've heard things.

4. Seven Nation Army, by the White Stripes. I love the White Stripes. They are my second favorite band. They are a two piece band who plays songs driven by music. Not much else. They are the most down-to-earth band I know, other than Tool. Both are quite eccentric which may make that a strange comment, but whatever. Anyway, this song is super simple, just Meg's drum beat while Jack plays the deep riff and sings the lyrics -- then it gets heated, then it plays the same riff but at higher pitch, and repeat. It has a solo, but the highlight is how simple this song is while remaining awesome.

5. Subdivisions, by Rush. If there ever existed gods of music, Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart would be them. This song is great. I don't have to explain it. Great synthesizer riff, amazing drums, guitar, and vocals -- bass rocks too (you can actually hear it in this song). The lyrics are amazing too -- Neil Peart at his finest. The last "restless dreams of youth" is what I must catch if I hear the song. If I don't hear Geddy sing those lines, I feel disappointed. The song is about nothing truly emotional, but the music itself is very . . . resonating.

Runners up -- Any Colour You Like, by Pink Floyd; Time, by Pink Floyd; The Hardest Button to Button, by the White Stripes.

List of other 'prefered' songs: Far Cry, by Rush; Force Ten, by Rush; 4th of July, by Soundgarden; Burden in My Hand, by Soundgarden; Rhinosaur, by Soundgarden; Jeremy, by Pearl Jam; What the Hell Have I, by Alice in Chains; A Little Bitter, by Alice in Chains; Fly By Night, Rush; Lock and Key, by Rush; The Body Electric, by Rush; Angry Again, by Megadeth; Poison My Eyes, by Anthrax; I am the Walrus, by The Beatles; Superunknown, by Soundgarden; War Pigs, by Black Sabbath; Invisible Sun, by The Police; Don't Stand So Close To Me, by The Police; Seven Seas of Rhye, by Queen; Locomotive Breath, by Jethro Tull; Aqualung, by Jethro Tull. More to come, I wager. Any song that I mention in 'The Nameless Parody' or its sequel is a song I like (except 'Genie in a Bottle', that was just humour).

Current Favourite Video Game: City of Villains; Current Favourite Video Game Music: the music played during the A-Scenario battle with William Birkin, in Resident Evil 2.

Hobbies: Reading ; Writing ; playing Starcraft I go by EternalFlare, PolarEnigma, ForeverZero . . . lots of stuff. I play Protoss and Zerg, mostly Protoss now. The reason why I don't update as much is because I've become a die-hard Starcrafter.

About the Writing(s):

I tend to avoid poetry and write prose, though I have no problem with poems and I indeed like to brainstorm them while I have nothing to do and am away from home. Besides, when you work with the Silent Hill series, you pretty much have to know how to write some poetry. After all, what's a good Silent Hill game without the mind-bending irrelevant riddle?

Edgar Allen Poe: indeed, I draw inspiration from the man (mainly from the dashes and crossed out names). Trace amounts I think, but 'tis not for me to decide.

Writing began not long ago with a Fantasy story called 'Untitled.' It blossomed into a novel called The Flaming Hall, but it is Book One in a tetralogy and I haven't even looked at it in about three months. I began writing the Silent Hill-esque genre (horror/macrabe) with my novella Damage, which was set in a school, and was about a father fighting off Silent Hill-ish demons to find and rescue his son. I then began to develop a Silent Hill story in my mind about a guy named Arnold Westnaught, and though I've yet to pen this novel, I will after I finish the Silent Hill: The Red Angel, which is a precursor to the events in that novel. It will all be made clear after The Red Angel is finished. (For origins on Silent Hill: The Red Angel; read the story, it says various pieces of its history at the top.

Current favourite work (by me): Silent Hill: The Nameless Parody 2

Current favourite work (by someone else): well, everything on my favourites are amazing, but the top three are Silent Hill 4: Introspection (D. Natali), Silent Hill 2: Letter From Silent Heaven (Ryan M. Usher),and silent hill 2: this room sucks (Darkcomet).

Update

Recently started a few works on both FictionPress and here: here I started the Siege of Grandville; on FictionPress I started The Wall of the Dragon, a novella much like The Red Angel, save it's high fantasy from my own legendarium (in the works).

Also, I regret to inform you that there is false information in the paragraph starting with 'Writing began not long ago': it is about the novel featuring Arnold Westnaught. I have revamped the story, and incorporated it into my horror/supernatural mythos. Chances are, it will be published.

The Red Angel was on a brief hiatus, but now it's over, and aside from revising The Flaming Hall (which is almost done, at last!) I will devote all my time to it.

Update

The Red Angel is complete, and I've deleted The Wall of the Dragon from FictionPress. I started a new story (The Celestial Outbreak -- Part 1: Infection), and have an idea for a new one on Fan Fic. I'm thinking about writing a prequel to The Red Angel, telling of how Marcus and Anna met (despite it being in Chapter 25) and their life together, since the Romance-aspect of Chapter 25 was refreshing. But time will tell, and I have a headache as I type this so it'll be brief. The prequel is a probable thing, as, for some reason, I can't throw out Marcus or Anna so easily. I also made a lot of plot-holes in The Red Angel. Fixing those currently.

Update

Even I get sidetracked by simple story idea; and now I'm writing another SH novella called Silent Hill: The Holy Mother. It is basically Silent Hill 4 with different characters, settings, monsters, and a new protagonist and antagonist. I've been slowly chiseling away at The Siege of Grandville, but got sidetracked by a PvP journal I concieved called Siren's Call Chronicles. I haven't written anything of it yet, but I plan to do that one during my The Siege of Grandville phase.

Update

I'm postponing The Holy Mother to work on a sequel to The Legend of Tingle, called The Legend of Tingle: Tingle in Time. It's a short novella, completely moronic and with utter randomness. Probably will include Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings, as well as other things. Basically, Tingle doesn't die how it was stated in the first one, and has to prevent Link from dying, Zelda from marrying, and the meteor from ending all life on Hyrule. On second thought, postponing isn't an accurate term, as I'm still adding to it. I guess I'm switching priorities.

Update

Forget The Legend of Tingle, I've been driven to write a novelisation of Resident Evil 2 once The Holy Mother is finished. I was compelled by having played it about five times this week, and when I went to find a good novelisation: nothing, save one that's only reached chapter 1. Thus I'm going to post that after The Holy Mother. I plan on being adventurous: I'm doing Claire A and Leon B, because that's how I always play it (what can I say, the Magnum works well agains 'Mr. X' and the Acid Rounds work well against William Birkin's last two forms: I killed the first in four shots).

Update

Well, I've hit a roadblock in terms of writing. I'm not 'out of it'; I just haven't had much enthusiasm for the past few days. I know that writing becomes a duty once you start it professionally, but my engine's stalled: it's writer's block in the EXTREME. I am enjoying writing this at the moment, but once WordPerfect opens, the train of thought derails. Good thing I'm not a journalist. I'm thinking about deleting The Celestial Outbreak and writing it in full once I have something published in reality. But, despite failure with The Wall of the Dragon, I feel a call to write fantasy. It pangs at me night and day, and I tried to rewrite The Flaming Hall, but it's such a headache. I can't start it over. It's so amateur, but I've begun to think it's not just the writing: it's probably the story itself. But oh well. Nothing I can really do about it.

Despite the depressing tale I've just told you, there is another reason I want to delete The Celestial Outbreak: I have what I think is an awesome story idea for both fantasy and horror. The fantasy is harder to get going; but the horror is too complex. I can't think of a 1. Reason, 2. Antagonist, 3. SystemLet's just say that it's Poe-ish and Silent Hill-ish: a man who, over the course of the week, begins to have hallucinations and strange encounters with an Other World. Towards the end, he questions his sanity to the extreme. Alas, I must finish The Holy Mother ere I start anything else. I'm tired of having three things on hiatus, and two projects not. I'm finishing The Holy Mother, and then I may work on The Celestial Outbreak or The Siege of Grandville.

Thus I'm 'mopping up' my account: everything on hiatus is going to be worked on. I'm going to make an oath right now:

I, EternalFlare, do solemnly swear to say nothing but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but-- oops, wrong memo.

I, EternalFlare, do solemnly swear to post nothing more than what I have on my portfolio at the time of this oath's conception until all works on hiatus are completed, excluding the publication of short stories. To this oath I hold, and no coercement, bribery (well, let's not push it) or blackmail will sway me. -EternalFlare.

Update

Nothing much to report, except the fact that I have been adding to The Siege of Grandville. I'll admit, I'm not fond of The Holy Mother, as it begins amateur, but I'm gonna start really trying, 100. Before, it was just me typing, because I was usually tired or wanted to write something else. But no longer.

Update

HOLY CRAP. I just revised The Red Angel, and found some of the greatest goofs ever made (by me):

The H.P. Lovecraft quote was missing a word: That is not dead which can eternal lie.

The floor of the cafe basement magically changes from concrete to grate between Chapter 3 and 4, both taking place within the Other World.

But the absolute biggest was that Raymond says his last name is Depurn, and in chapters after he is constantly referred to as Raymond Desmond. But, I do have a mediocre excuse: he says his name in Chapter 5, and his second last name appears in Chapter 10. That was a good sized chunk of time in between 5 and 10, so that's my only excuse.

I've been playing around with the idea of a UFO ending for The Red Angel, but I don't know. I'd like to do it, but The Red Angel's lifespan seems perfect as is. Well, we'll see. I wouldn't know how to format it, where to end the story at, and whether to include James and Harry. Marcus would probably kill them all and usurp the leadership of the aliens. Well, I'll toy around with it. We'll see.

Once more, Update:

Well, the absolute crappiest thing in the world happened. I was penning the eleventh chapter for The Holy Mother when the power went out! I had a solid three pages of near nonstop action, and then, POOF: it's all for nothing. Only snatches remain of it in my mind, but I'll try to reproduce it as accurately and as neatly as possible. It involved Pyramid Head, the shotgun, a sewer monster, and a door. When I post it, that should make loads of sense.

Uppo-dato

Well, aside from writing The Holy Mother, I'm writing (on the side, so it shouldn't interfere much) a simple Silent Hill 2 parody. Nothing too random, but there is quite a bit of randomness.

Here's a small excerpt, one of the less-important and less-funny parts:

(Angela) 'What's your name?'

'James.'

'Angela.'

'No, James.'

'Angela.'

'No, I'm James. J-A-Y-M-E-Z.'

'And my name is Angela, you idiot.'

'Did you find your mother?'

'No.'

'Brother?'

'No.'

'Father?'

'No.'

'Dog?'

'No -- wait, dog?'

'Did they live here?'

'WHAT?' Angela shrieked.

'DID THEY LIVE HERE?' James repeated loudly.

--Cut--

McUpdate

I'm hard pressed, because Summer Vacation is nearly over, and I'm finding it hard to write in this awful heat. When school starts, I should have more time to not pay attention in class, thus giving me time to brainstorm. I'm also running out of music (I'm resorting to some of my dad's old albums: Purple, N4 by STP, and Make Yourself by Incubus), so, yeah, hitting a rough patch. But, I'm still working hard on both The Holy Mother and The Nameless Parody. And, if anyone is wondering, I have no clue when I'm going to truly move on from Silent Hill. I just love the genre too much to quit just now.

Despite saying I wouldn't post The Nameless Parody until HM is complete, I needed a dire relief from the darkness of writing Silent Hill. Before I write Silent Hill, I have to get into the darkest, saddest mood possible, isolate myself, and crank up songs about questionable topics. But, with a parody, you can listen to Beethoven if you want (I still listen to the questionable songs). Even I had some doubts about whether I could pull off a parody, but, since I was in the dark, sad mood, I just decided I didn't care. So, I posted it. There are a lot of jokes that are hard to avoid, like the shooting of Laura or Maria's STDs, so some similiarities may be present, but I try to (this is where it gets weird) read the darkest, grossest thing imaginable - when I'm sad, I don't think about the other parodies, and thus I don't emulate them. If I had an isolation tank (which allows sensory deprivation, leading to the trippiest hallucinations imaginable), I'd probably get jokes so good you'd die from laughing. But I can't afford it, so I'll stick to mediocrity.

Holy Crap. An UPDATE!

Well, it's official.

I'm back.

I've been hard at work not working on anything. Just kidding. I've been working overtime on FictionPress, working on The Flaming Hall. I got a really good reviewer, Translucently Opaque, she's thorough and she's helping me change the story from "Written by 12 year old" to "Written by human being".

On the Nameless Parody 3:

It's not dead. It just got knocked out cold, dumped in the Atlantic, frozen, then recovered later. For all you people who are counting on the Final Chapter, it'll be here soon. I promise. It's not the end of the Nameless Parodies, however. There's 2 more games to be parodied (SOON TO BE 3, SH5 COMES OUT FOR XBOX 360! WOOTOX!)

In the meantime, live long and prosper.

Chaos out.

WHOA, DUDE, CZECH OUT THAT UPDATE!

Howdy folks. It's me, your incredibly loyal Golden Retriever (that's what my personality type is). I'm back in school -- yes, it sucks balls. But I found this strange anomaly -- when I do not have time to write, I update the Parody. When I have all the time in the world, I do nothing with it. What a paradox. Maybe it's because of my procrastinating ways?

I played Metal Gear Solid 4. I felt mixed about it. It's absolutely fucking amazing in one hand -- the gameplay is kick ass and the cinematics are unrivaled by anything. That being said, that was probably the worst part -- the game is more like a really damn long movie that has chunks of playability. It also kind of felt like one huge big reveal -- "No, Brother! You thought that was what happened, but it was really THIS!!". That being said, the game kicked mejor ass and I wish I could play it again. When the credits rolled, I honestly felt like crying. I felt like Snake was my best friend in the world, and to see him go through that much shit actually broke my heart. It's . . . amazing what Hideo Kojima and his staff can do.

I'm also playing Silent Hill V. That game is broke as hell. The dodge button is shit -- you wanna move right? Yeah, well Alex is gonna dodge left, right into an enemy attack. LIVE WITH IT! Good thing you can heal -- oh wait, what do you mean there are only five health drinks in the entire game? Well, then I'll just shoot! Huh? Ammo is super rare and I can only carry three handgun clips? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GAME IS THIS?

Anywho, my main gaming venture is Starcraft. My computer no longer can support DoW (low RAM and I'm a cheap bastard) so I play Starcraft. We don't have, liek, a huge body of people who are avid players, but we have some casual players and some die-hards. My first time playing it was at a friend's house at a LAN party, and it was an epic failure. Now, though, I know myself and my strategy. Out of about ten players local, only one of them plays Zerg -- I am one of the three Protoss players, meaning that six of our local Starcrafters are Terrans. This kind of makes multiplayer stale once you do it enough, but I haven't played many local 'Crafters, so I dunno. It's just a fun e-sport, I guess. Like, in one way I recognize the fact that it's a video game, but it's so fun to play and it has such a social effect that I think it's a little more than just a video game. It's a hobby. It transcends being just another game, and evolves into a hobby separate from video games. Sound stupid? It is. But that's my opinion.

Til next we meet.

-EternalFlare