The Story Abridged (Scroll down for Complete Work):

This account was first established to deliver the wondrous novella Purple Steam to our (Cryssi's) devoted fans. However, it has now extended its purpose to include providing the public with the epic Harry Potter story which details the saga of Lily and James entitled Points in the Right Direction. This story is co-written by Cryssi and our best friend Debbie who will soon operate under the name ToofdapBushWarriorGoddess.

Purple Steam has since withered and died and is burning forever in the pits of creative Hades. If it ever gets updated it will be a miracle provided by Jesus Christ, or maybe Krishna, we haven't decided yet. We're not going to lie to you anymore and tell you we're working on it. Because...we're not.

However, on a higher note, Points in the Right Direction is still truckin.' A chapter is partway written and will be updated sometime before 2009 is over. Since summer is coming up, and we'll be at home together, we might find the time to finish it. However, that might not happen due to other events. So, we'll probably update one chapter, leave you on a bad cliffy and induce understandable frustration in all of our readers. Then we'll let it sit until Christmas...if we feel like it.

Really, we assure you that we are not drug users, but our behavior might be more understandable if we were. To prevent us from becoming narcotics, please review. Be our antidrug.

The three authors who use this account are certifiably insane and two are ingenious. We have been best friends since the summer before junior year in high school and often scare the people we're around. We're okay with that. Acceptance is the first step on the road to insanity. It's a fun road.

Look out for our hopefully soon to be published works of orignal fiction under the nom de plume (yes, its more fun to say than pen name because everything sounds cooler in French) E.C. Spence.

So if you like our stories, review and then check out our actual webpages for our individual works:

www.fanfiction.net/~conterrasan

www.fanfiction.net/~blackvelvetband

The Cookie Jar (The Ramblings of Debbie and Chrissy) "We Don't Write Quality News, Only Quality Stories. We just don't do that shit here."

OBITUARY: Purple Steam died earlier this year when an assasin known as the Avatar Finale ruined one author's desire to finish it. She regrets that this is the first time she has abandoned a story, but thinks there is no use in refuting a fact. She would like it known that she did, from the begining, pick ALL of the ships in the Harry Potter Series correctly before they were announced. Including Snape's unrequited love with Lily Potter. The other author of the story has no comment because she works on numerous stories but never finishes any of them. The other author would like to state that her track record of finishing at least 10 stories fully before giving up on them is justifiable. Also, her new coauthor is more invested in their current project and has a better collaborative style. It is unknown whether the authors of Purple Steam will ever publish together again. It is...a mystery. Just like the new password is in fact a mystery to Conterra, who can no longer log on to this account. Yes, Debbie and Cryssi are runni the show. Merlin Fucking Grindlewald.

HEADLINE: Points in the Right Direction Rises from Ashes Summer 2009! There will be kissing, fighting, dying, death, destruction, a symphony orchestra, dazzling costumes, modern choreography, witty dialogue, dancing house elves, and a special guest appearence from Edward Cullen. That's right, Edward Cullen will be appearing in a crossover chapter.

Not really, we don't do that shit, but we figured it might make you read it. Really, crossovers are crap. Just in case you missed it the first time, we don't do that shit.

If you write crossovers and review our works, we apologize for offending you. We're sure they're not as ridiculous as Edward falling in love with Hermione while James Potter (miraculously still alive) shacks up with Jasper in a deliciously gay relationship while Bella travels back in time to fall in love with Tom Riddle in order to reproduce ugly snake babies named Marvinay, Meropisle, Esmerione, Roonil Wazlib and Renesme (Oh wait, that already happend). In retrospect, we think it would be an awesome spoof. Feel free to write it kids, in fact, we challange you.

Quotes:

Conterra's Quotes of the Week: What quotes? Oh wait she can't update them because she doesn't know the password. Is your soul dying a little Conterra? Don't whine, we don't do that shit here.

Cryssi's Quotes of the Week : "We don't do that shit here." (Writes rest of profile while laughing)

Debbie's Quotes of the Week: (Making dinner) "Honestly, there's a lot of lesbian love in our non-lesbian relationship. But question it. Just a little." (Throws more crutons in salad).

Combined Quotes of the Week: Cryssi: "Why is love capitalized?" Debbie: "Because Love is a character within itself...Did I really just say that?" (Yes, yes she did).

Practice the three "R" to make a greener planet. Read, Review (A LOT), Re-Read.