HEY!

here is a bit about me.

Name: Jessica.

:¨·.·¨:
·. EDWARD

Age: 15

Living in: Sydney, AUSTRALIA. (born in Wellington New Zealand, moved to Australia when i was 9...GO KIWIS)
My Maori Greenstone Carving: Pikorua is a traditional Maori pendant of friendship and growth. this carving depicts two new shoots growing together; the joining of cultures.

haha, want to see gingerbread men do the haka- go here!

My new favourite...jingle...

My Pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard

They're like, you wanna trade cards?

DAMN RIGHT! I wanna trade cards

I'll trade this, but not

CHARIZARD!

I go to an all Girls school, and its not a private school but has the rules of one, and we wear UGLY uniforms!

I am a child of 4 and the eldest so basically i get blamed for everything. (grr) I want an older brother... But i have Ethan (12 and in year 8), Joanna Isn't she pretty? Looks nothing like me though, shes the apple of my daddy's eye(11 and in year 6), Jor dan (...9 and in year 5) And that was the order. Me first of course... girl boy girl boy...3 'J' names (haha Ethan- he's also the only one with brown eyes)... The youngest an I are very pale while Ethan and Joanna have dark tan skin- lucky...

Books: TWILIGHT!, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE, MAXIMUM RIDE by James Patterson,WICCA/Sweep series by Cate Tiernan, RED HANDED, BLACK LISTED, Jennifer Scales series, Daughter of Destiny series, Uglies trilogy, The Sisterhood of the traveling pants series, Boys that bite (really funny- its a vamp book), Tamora Peirce books, Harry Potter, um...more that i can't remember but there is a lot.

Me and writing: Well, i would really like to make something for myself with writing. I want to get better, and looking back at my first story...it seems not that great to me and think that now days my writing is a lot better--except that i got slower at the whole writing part. But there are Soooooo many talented authors on this site- just in the Twilight section...that its slightly disheartening, when i read some other peoples stories and i look on my own and i think...i suck, in comparison. But I'm going to keep trying to get better and better, to reach my fullest potential- even if my stories do lack a...more...formal, mature edge, i can still improve! i'm beginning to notice that thats my style, very...informal, teen, amusing but not LOL amusing. And no matter what i do it seems to come out like that, so i guess i just have to make that better.

PROPS:
Dramas of the heart-

Bella's clothing from the movies: Top, Jeans, shoes.
Bella's quick party out fit: imagine with out the bag or the shoes. Shoes( I love ugg boots)
The gifts she brought for the Cullens and Hales: Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle's.

Falling Up (Used to be I hate you! but still)-

Bella's first day clothing: Top, Skirt, leggings, shoes.
Bella's hoodie:Chap 4: Sexy Seventeen
Bella's date/football watching clothing, chap 6: Top, Jeans
Edwards clothing, chap 6: Top, pants
Edward's House: Remember that he isnt a cullen so his house don't look much, but its actually really nice. (its a house in Newcastle AUS)
Boxers: Tasmanian Devil pic thingy

Alice's dress: Just imagine in gold

Bella's Dress: I don't know why but i love this dress...its simple...

Mary's dress: This dress is one i actually own, i'll try and take a picture of it sometime soon. I love it, baught it NZ REALLY cheap, i was so happy, went from over 100 down to 60.

For You I Will:

Gracie

( )( )
(n.n)o isn't it cute!
(")(")

Ways You Can Tell You Are A Sad Sack

You get fired from your job at McDonalds.
You are so annoying that even your multiple personalities won't speak to you any more.
Your imaginary friends keep finding excuses not to come over.
Your mom still pick your clothes out for you.
You pick your nose and don't care who sees you.
You are over 30 and still living with your parents.
You look forward to going to a Catholic church for confession just so you can have someone to talk to.
You welcome calls from phone salesmen because no one else will talk to you.
You remind a teacher that she forgot to give homework.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

if technically after midnight it's
morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? shouldn't we call it

something like the early morning:-D- (By: RockstarLife)

if you built/lit a fire in an igloo would the igloo melt?
(By: RockstarLife)

hmm...

TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
1. " ... AMEN!"

Top 10 Reasons to Read
1. Learn how to pickpocket someone
(Alex Rider: Eagle Strike by Anthony Horowitz)
2. Learn how to tell if someone is lying
(Comes a Horseman, by )
3. Learn how to forge a signature
(Trixie Belden: The Gatehouse Mystery, by Julie Campbell)
4. Learn how to take care of: an annoying talking dog; a six-year-old that can read/control peoples’ minds, breathe under water, and talk to fish; a boy with digestive problems that can imitate any sound; an eleven-year-old that talks non-stop; a fourteen year-old boy that is blind, a total pyro, and builds bombs; and a guy only three months younger than you that is totally phlegmatic and very hot. All of which have wings
(Maximum Ride, by James Patterson)
5. Learn how to stop a couple of purse thieves on a motorcycle with a bucket and a bunch of birdseed, and even more pigeons
(Alex Rider: Scorpia by Anthony Horowitz)
6. Learn how to kill a vampire
(Dracula by Bram Stoker)
7. Learn a different language that doesn’t really exist
(Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien)
8. Learn how to make your alter-self
(The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson)
9. Learn how to escape from a burning building by tightrope walking
(Alex Rider: Ark Angel by Anthony Horowitz)
10. Learn how to fight off a band of bloodthirsty pirates
(Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson)
If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

THINGS TO WATCH:

Daniel Radcliffe on ROVE LIVE: here (its good. i LOVE rove live--he's so funny!) The interview and 20 bucks in 20 seconds --last question...Daniel Radcliffe, who would you turn gay for? you will never guess who he says...HAHAHA

Zac Efron and Nikki Blonsky on ROVE LIVE: Interview including 20 in 20 seconds. P.S Daniel Radcliffe is there as well! --lol, hairy leg department! watch and you'll see!

ELMO--on ROVE LIVE: Yep elmo from seseme street is on rove live and isn't he adorable?

ROVE and pete BRAKE DANCING BATTLE: lol, this is a little weird but its all good! Rove could actually be good if he was serious about it. He's the one with 'Merkins' on his shirt. if you dont know what that is...you don't wanna...

ROVE-Hang up, dont hang up ( HILARIOUS): Heheep. 245 (kiwi ppl dont actually talk like that--even read the comments), ep, 234

ROVE is the BEST! I love his show...

Hamish and Andy VS the band JET at a busk off--loser runs naked on rove. (so FUNNY!!) : here

Hamish and Andy conjoined twins--rove dared them to get strapped together for three days: pt 1, pt 2

Hamish and Andy - Mothers Day - Rove: YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS...so funny!! (just imagine the most worst things you could get your mothers to do--they did--its hilarious) sample: WHERE GOING TO HELL!

Hamish on thank god your here (so funny! hes good at it): 1, the website..

Hamish and Andy- being Dads...

Hamish and Andy- The MOB Sooo funny...sample: hiding in public bathrooms...then...DIDNT WASH YOUR HANDS!

Hamish and Andy- The Gangaroo's ...so funny! there in LA and are trying to start a gang...god where do they get the guts!

Hamish & Andy - Fire hose down! - ROVE

Hamish and Andy- Crying to get what you want...omg...they are cazy!

:¨·.·¨:
·. EDWARD

A quote from the bus stop after school: - Mr. Leong's little son (that goes to my old primary school) runs into the High School to get his dad.

Regina: Aw, that little boy is so cute, i just want to rape him!

everybody else: ... -cue laughing-

Is there something wrong with that? Yeah.

At the easter show

Me: Hey, look, those horses are walking sideways!

Kathee: oh my god, woah! they're like crabs!

On the train. Little boy runs down the aisle.

Kathee: Damn, i should have tripped him!

We all laugh. Same boy starts to run back, Kathee sticks her foot out and then puts it back in just as he gets to her. He stumbles a bit, looks down at her leg.

Little boy: Sex-y

Boy runs off again.

Everyone: Cracks up laughing while Kathee stares, mortified.

Kathee: That was weird.

On the Ferris Wheel at the Easter Show

Kathee: Oh my god, we're rocking! Jessica, why did you make me go on this? ITS GOING TO HIT THE OTHER ONE

Man sitting across from us with 4 year old boy: Aw, come on, your not scared are you? Even a four year old isn't scared.

4 year old: -to his dad- Is she scared? im not even scared

The dad: Ah, she's just being a Sookie La La.

Kathee: -glares while me and little boy start laughing. HEY! DON'T LAUGH AT ME! -pokes little boy with a rolled up magazine-

At the Athletics Carnival

cheering, girl screams right my Kathee's ear-

Kathee: ARGH! MY EYES!...I mean...MY EARS!