Z?

q u e s t i o n s l e e p .

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate;

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

--Nelson Mandela

"I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls.

I've done horrifying things with salad tongs.

It's really eaten into my social life."

-Nny

This is me.

Name: Audrey. (In case you couldn't tell, that means I am female.)

Alias: Jorge "Squashy" Gonzales, UncleFizzmo, MicrowavedNoodles, Buttock, SnapeObsessed (SnOb), HoboWithAShotgun

Place: Where hicksville meets the ghetto, AKA St. Louis, Missouri.

Age: 17.

Views: (Just so we're clear.) Anyone absolutely certain about anything frightens me. Let's just put it that way.

Status: If anyone, I tend to go for girls, but I find it stupid to limit one's self by labeling. That said, it's extremely rare for me to "like" people. So, lesbian asexual with a hint of bicuriosity? But of course, I don't label. No sir. Not me.

Music: (I normally hate when people do this, but indulge me, would you?) Hush Sound. Panic! At The Disco. The Mars Volta. Death Cab For Cutie. Mindless Self Indulgence. t.A.T.u. The Shins. Maximum The Hormone. Owl City. Postal Service. Fall Out Boy. Alesana. The Birthday Massacre. Nightmare. Jenny Rom. Bad Luck. My Chemical Romance. VAST. Aqua. D.V.D.A. Tool. Bring Me The Horizon. Bullet For My Valentine. Steel Train. Susumu Hirasawa.

I'm one of those weird kids that most people are simultaneously amused and disgusted by. I'm not weird in the cute way, like, "Oh, honey, look, she's staying true to herself in a society that's trying to change her! How sweet!", but weird in the "Oh jeez, is that kid licking that Walmart greeter?" way, or maybe the "Could you please, please stop drooling on me?" way. I enjoy bathroom graffiti, playing the guitar and flute, making faces at strangers, and manga, anime, comics, and cartoons far too much for my own good. I hate Scooby-doo and all of his followers. I'm completely in love with my ancient, crusty jack russel terrier, Ally-Lou, and my goldfish, Adolph Hitler (named for the spot above his lip reminiscent of a Hilter 'stache).

On DeviantART, I go by the alias of . . . MicrowavedNoodles. I'm just that creative. And on mangafox.com? Guess what it is. That's right. MicrowavedNoodles. And on youtube? UncleFizzmo. Just to shake things up a little.

Something that may be of interest to any xxxHolic, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, or simply CLAMP fans in general: I live next to a park called "Black Burn Park." Some one, I'm assuming a hardcore Holic/Tubasa/CLAMP fan, recently took the "R" from the sign at the park entrance, which now reads "BLACK BUN PARK." So now live next door to a Mokona park. How happy is that? :D

Mmmyep. I'm done talking about myself . . . If you really want to know something, I'm bored as fuck in my little suburban hell, so please do message me. Make my life a little more interesting.

Stats

(Just because.)

You are on the favorites list of 29 members.

You are on the author alert list of 25 members.

You have submitted a total of 967 signed reviews. (You've got to admit that's impressive. XD)

Total words archived : 25,800 words.

Average number of words per story : 2,150

Total hits to Profile Page : 5,272

Pairings/Fandoms

I'll do this the easy way. Below is a list of the fandoms and pairings I most frequently molest. I'll support just about any pairing as long as it's decently written, although I tend to stay the hell away from mpregs, threesomes, blatant smut, incest, and pedo/shouta. And yes, I am a dreaded yaoi/slash/shonen-ai fangirl, but the kind who prefers her boys in-character (with the exception of sheer crack fics). Character rape is never fun. Yuri/femslash/shojo-ai is also good. Okay. Personal favorites of mine are underlined. See? Like that.

Not in any particular order...

Death Note: LxLight, LightxMatsuda, MelloxMatt, MelloxNear, LightxMello (WHY is there not more of this pairing??), MatsudaxAizawa, RemxMisa (one-sided), LightxRyuk (one-sided)

South Park: CartmanxKyle, CartmanxButters, CartmanxKenny, StanxKyle, CartmanxClyde, DamienxPip, CartmanxToken, CraigxTweek, TokenxClyde, NedxJimbo, TerrencexPhillip, RandyxGerald, WendyxBebe, CartmanxWendy (...pretty much pair up any of the boys in Mr./Ms. Garrison's class and I'm good. Especially with Cartman. I love the little Nazi bastard. :D)

Jhonen Vasquez (JTHM and Invader Zim): ZimxDib, NnyxEdgar, SqueexPepito, DevixTenna, SqueexDib, D-BoyxMr.Fuck (Heh heh.)

Fullmetal Alchemist: RoyxEd, RoyxHughes, AlxWinry, RizaxHavoc, WinryxSheska, EdxNoa

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle and xxxHolic: KuroganexFai (I can't believe CLAMP didn't make this official...), TouyaxYukito (Hooray for canon!!), DoumekixWatanuki (Come one, make it canon CLAMP!), SyaoranxSakura, ClowxYuuko

Futurama: FryxBender (check out my Fender C2!), KifxZapp

Code Geass: LelouchexSuzaku, LelouchexCC (you know an anime's done a good job if they can actually get me to like a canon het pairing.)

Junjo Romantica: UsamixMisaki, NowaikixHiro, MiyagixShinobou (in other words, all the canon couples. x3)

House, M.D.: HousexWilson, ThirteenxForeman

Scrubs: JanitorxJD, JDxCox, JDTurk, JanitorxCox, JanitorxElliot, JackxSam (in future fics)

Trigun: VashxWolfwood (because Vash has insisted so many times that he's not gay I can't help but think that he is. :D )

Harry Potter: DracoxHarry, SeverusxRemus, RemusxSirius, DumbledorexGrindelwald (past fics . . . Bwahaha, canon. >:D)

Gravitation: ShuichixYuki, HiroxSuguru, TohmaxRyuichi

FAKE: DeexRyo, DrakexJJ

Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo: AlbertxCount, AlbertxFranz

Ouran High School Host Club: TamakixKyouya, MorixHuni, TamakixHaruhi, HikaruxKaoru, KyouyaxKaoru

Kyou Kara Maou: YuurixWolfram, GwendelxGunter, KonradxYozak

Those are my most active fandoms and pairings, but by no means all. And please do glance at my favorites. Don't be intimidated by the sheer amount of fics. I don't favorite things lightly, and the fics there are of the highest quality--I simply whore a LOT of fandoms. :3

Upcoming/Ongoing Fanfiction

The Fall of Eric Cartman (South Park): Abandoned, probably. Aww. Sorry, guys. I sort of got out of the South Park fanfiction phase in the middle of this one. D:

Untitled MelloxNear--with some LxLight--fic (Death Note): Drafting. Slight AU multi-chap. Summary: "When the position they fought so hard for is filled, Mello and Near struggle to find new meaning in their lives and each other." This one will include alot of character analysis and speculation on Mello and Near's pasts. Oh, and nice, heaping bucket of angst, of course. I'm pretty excited for it. :D

Untitled LightxMello (Death Note): Just an idea at this point... AU multi-chap. Summary: "L had to be kidding. This - guy? - Yes, this man dressed like the male prostitutes they were supposed to arrest! How could he possibly be Light's new 'partner?'" Just a fluffy little Mello-is-Light's-new-police-partner-and-they-fall-in-wuv fic I've been toying around with after reading too many FAKE fanfics. Because damnit, the world needs more LightxMello!

Untitled AizawaxMatsuda (Death Note): Just an idea... Canon multi-chap. Summary: "After the Kira case, all hell breaks loose. Near grows colder, Aizawa fights for child custody, and Matsuda delves into the underworld of drugs. Perhaps the hardest part wasn't catching Kira, but moving on afterward..."

Stupidity is Relative LightxMatsuda Implied (Death Note): Drafting. Canon one-shot. Summary: "'I'm not as stupid as you think I am, Light,' Matsuda muttered. 'I know stuff about you that L would kill for.' Light picks up a stranded, drunken Matsuda from a party one night and has an unsettling conversation. It's incredible how a single comment, one moment of clarity, can completely alter one's perception of another." A rather long one-shot with LightxMastuda undertones. Because really, Mastuda isn't stupid. Well, not really.

Untitled KuroganexFai (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle): Drafting. AU multi-chap. Summary: "Kurogane had always been an overprotective adoptive father to Sakura, and he's not so sure that lunatic-of-a-teacher Mr. Flourite's classroom is the safest envoirnment for her. Particularly when the guy decides to hit on him..." Yeah. This couple. Is so. Freaking. Cute. I mean, GAWD. I am SO pissed that CLAMP didn't just go ahead and make them official. I mean, they're canon, but there was no "confirmation" scene, which angers my fangirl self. D:

MUST READ

This is a list of the fics that you'd be insane not to read. More to come, very soon.

Death Note

Genius is a Curse by Bloodshot Eyes

“If Light had never touched the Death Note, would he ever have found an escape from the depression and boredom that plagued him? Would he have had a future at all?”

Incomplete multi-chaptered fic. A beautifully written, realistic portrayal of Light struggling with manic depression, something the series often alluded to but never confirmed. It’s incredibly depressing in the beginning, but becomes very uplifting after a while. I highly recommend it, particularly if you yourself have struggled with depression or suicidal thoughts.

Nicotine Patches and Picture Books by Underwater Owl

“As far as Matt's concerned, this 'saving' bit is the worst thing to ever happen to him. When you get gunned down, you should just die, not wake up in a hospital bed months and miles later. Bloody Near never could leave well enough alone, could he?”

Complete multi-chaptered fic. Actually, everything by this author is amazing, but this piece caught my eye. It is an extremely in-character, non-AU alive!MattxNear that doesn’t neglect Mello’s memory and somehow managed to make me crack up laughing and bring a tear to my eye in the span of about ten minutes. How, I have no clue. But it’s a really interesting writing style that I’ve never seen before. I keep coming back to read this one.

Welcome to Wammy by Mikanis

“Mello has just arrived at Wammy House at the young age of nine. Can he adjust to his new life after so long without an identity?”

Completed multi-chaptered fic with a sequel in progress. Gah, this one’s just so PRETTY. It’s incredibly angsty character analysis/speculation of Mello’s past fic with a one-sided MelloxMatt pairing (which turns somewhat two-sided in the sequel). Basically it’s about Mello struggling to come to terms with his sexuality, strict Catholic beliefs, and his abusive past.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Save Me by Sevlow

“Roy Mustang is sent to Lior and captured. After five long weeks of torture, will he ever recover?”

Completed multi-chap fic. I know what you’re thinking. ‘Gah, ANOTHER angst fic?!’ Yes. Yes it is. But this one’s excellent, I assure you. Very realistic portrayal of Roy that’s both heart-breaking and in-character. No pairings in this one, by the way, but there is a bit of a Roy/Ed parental type relationship hinted toward the end. It’s very sweet. :3

Futurama

Prison of Glass by The Light of the Shadows

“It has, after all, been one thousand years.”

One-shot. You know those rare one-shots where you just sit back and go, ‘OMG. THAT WAS SO PRETTY. MUST READ AGAIN.’ Yeah. This is one of them. An angsty, Fry-centric little thing that every self-respecting Futurama fan must read.

Gravitation

In My Life by sailorspazz

“Yuki Eiri reflects on his past as he contemplates spending his future with Shuuichi. Is his heart finally ready to open up completely?”

Complete multi-chap. How I wish Gravitation WOULD have ended, rather than just being left up in the air uncompleted like it was . . . –grumble- Anyway, I liked this fic so much I now consider it canon.

Harry Potter

Alastor's sausage by Suikoden26

“Mrs. Weasley and Snape pass a good few hours chasing a certain somebody around Grimmauld Place.”

One-shot. It’s not what you think. Or is it? Anyways, this made me bust up laughing the first time I read it.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH by Secondpillow

“Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.”

Possibly incomplete multi-chap crack. It makes me laugh. SO. HARD.

House, M.D.

Strangulation by Juliabohemian

“This is a series of significant events from House's life, which began with a strangulation.”

Incomplete, but very, VERY long, multi-chap. Very, VERY well-written. You have to really sit down and read this one to make any sense of it, because the time line is scattered across chapters all out-of-order and whatnot in the forms of flashbacks. A really sweet HousexWilson fic that portrays their relationship REALISTICALLY and doesn’t just jump into it without warning. Also mentions of House’s abusive relationship with his father that were only glossed over in canon.

Invader Zim

Believe by Maiden of the Moon

“You told me to believe in myself, mom... in whatever I thought was true, no matter what anyone else said. ...And I chose to believe in Zim.”

One-shot. -SNIFF-

Maneem by HeCallsMeHisChild

“Betrayed by my leaders. Captured by the enemy. Set free on their terms. Threatened with torture. The feeling of helplessness churns my squeedly spooch. But I am Zim, and I will not be conquered.”

Complete multi-chaptered fic with a sequel in-progress. I was so freaking obsessed with this fic for so long. Seriously. It’s ridiculous. I think the last review I gave ended up filling my entire screen it was so long. I’m pretty sure it was almost as long as the last chapter itself. Baaaasically it’s about Zim being captured, but instead of dissecting him, the government decides to disable his PAK and let him stay with a family to see if he can be integrated into society. Zim slowly, VERY slowly, becomes attatched to his new “family” and eventually, even Dib. Lots of theories about Zim and Dib’s pasts in this one. Very interesting. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT (even if the author is against ZADR D: ).

Tuesday Means UFOs by lin.exe

“How did it come to this?”

Incomplete multi-chap. The best Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Invader Zim cross-over in existence. Ever. Not only does it follow the Johnny-is-actually-Dib-all-grown-up theory that so many J.C.V. fans believe, but it’s also amazingly in-character and it’s a ZADR. It’s like a ZADR written from the hand of Jhonen himself!! It’s gold, I tell you! Gold!

Z? by Swing-21

“Choices… When love confronts duty, when you can’t do right without causing wrong, how do you know what is for the best? Sleep on that and wait for the answers.”

One-shot. Betcha can’t guess the pairing before the last paragraph. Note the Johnen Vasquez homage. :D

Jhonen Vasquez (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, I Feel Sick, and Invader Zim)

Not a Flawless System by rueyeet

“And just who does run this operation, anyway?”

One-shot. Just a little speculative thing on who actually chooses waste-locks.

Song Without A Name by Lady Yate-xel

“Reincarnation is complicated, and apparently, not a refined system. When the lines between lives are blurry at best, and memories seep in from the person you were, do you stay the person you are? Who do you want to be, and do you want to be seen?”

Completed multi-chap. Sequel in progress. Mmmkay. Just to make myself clear. This is the best fanfiction that I have ever read. Ever. I laughed, I cried, I stalked the author for a bit, I have it saved to my hard drive incase something horrible ever happens to ff.net or deviantART. I keep trying to convince LYX to change the names and a few storylines around and publish it as a novel (because trust me, it would be a bestseller) but she refuses out of integrity or laziness, I’m not sure. I don’t want to ruin anything for you, but baaasically it’s a non-AU NnyxEdgar fic that deals with reincarnation and has lots of music. It’s also the first NnyxEdgar fic I’ve ever read that has nothing to do with Zarla’s “Vargas,” as good a fic as it is. But seriously. READ THIS IMMIDEATELY. I don’t care who you are. I don’t even care if you have now idea what JTHM is. You won’t regret it.

Scrubs

Bullseye by Akatsuki Feathers

“And suddenly Smokey, or whoever the hell promoted that bull, didn’t seem so wrong.”

One-shot. Get some tissues for this one. Implied JanitorxCox.

South Park

Addict by tweekers

“Craig was addicted to a lot of things. Overuse of non-verbal swearing, cigarettes, and even lying. But he really only needed one thing, even if he didn't realize it. He didn't need anything else but him.”

Complete multi-chap. CraigxTweek. You know, I’m not normally THAT into this pairing, but this one’s good. Not over-the-top like most romances on this site, but very, VERY realistic. Lots of other side pairings that made me smile, too.

Before The Devil Knows You're Dead » by tweekers

“In Nazi Germany Kyle Broflovski's family is forced into hiding in the attic of a prominent German family-the Cartman's. Is it possible for anything good to come out of the tragedy that surrounds them?”

Complete multi-chap. KylexCartman. –sigh- Yet another one that’s made me cry . . .

Bully by MT Yami

“Butters has been harboring a longtime crush on Cartman. When Kenny finds out and blackmails him, Butters has no choice but to let Kenny have his way with him. But who's the real bully now? Kenny or Cartman?”

Complete multi-chap with sequel in progress. I admit it. I’ve read this one like a billion friggin times over. By far the best CartmanxButters I’ve ever read.

Cartman 101 by Tendo Rei

“After they left him, Cartman went on to college alone. But he sees one of his old friends one day. What will he say?”

Complete multi-chap. KylexCartman. Just beautiful, particularly the ending. Gah, the ENDING . . . -sigh-

More Than You Know by Cszemis

“His only lifeline in the middle of the picket fence nightmare had been Butters, but even that could never last.”

One-shot. Vaguely implied CartmanxButters one-sided. Lyrical one-shot that still haunts me today - particularly the image of Cartman playing the piano alone in an empty wedding hall . . .

Shooting Stars and Sattelites by petals-on-scarecrows

“Eric Cartman wonders if he'll ever find change.”

One-shot. CartmanxKyle. Probably safe to say it’s the most beautiful one-shot I’ve ever read. Ever. Inspired by the song “Passenger Seat” by Death Cab for Cutie, but not a songfic. You'll need to read the last paragraph over a few times, it's so perfect.

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Bus Tickets by Sabaku No Natsuo

“Traveling by bus can have it's perks. For example, a thin blond boy attaching himself to you...”

Completed multi-chap. A sweet little KuroganexFai that quickly became my favorite of the pairing on this site. X3

If you have any suggestions, comments, or you just want to tell me I’m a horrible person and you want to 337 M4H H3DD!1, send me a PM.

xXxHoLic

-coming soon- I'm working on picking out my absolute favorites, but there's so many... Anyway, glance in my favorites! I have every single well-written DouWata fanfiction on ff.net in my favorites (which makes up quite a bit of the xxxHolic fandom). No, really. They're all in one place! No go, DouWata fans! Read!

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