Hello there! Welcome to: Dark Respite's Snarktacular Lair of Stupendousness.

Names are pretty but useless, but if you must give me a title then you may refer to me as Dark Respite.

(I'm more of a fanfic reader than a writer, but occasionally I do have bursts of err, creativity that needs to be expressed.)

Age: 21 BABY!! WHOOOT! :D

Personal Quote: It's called FANFICTION--meaning that I can write the characters how I damn well please.

Favorite pastimes: reading, writing, watching anime, watching wrestling, playing video games, cooking, swimming, basketball, football, just being in the beautiful outdoors.

Favorite Quotes:

Resist the destructive urges! Resist the destructive urges! What I wouldn't give to blow that motherfu-NO! RESIST THE DESTRUCTIVE URGES!!

Don't hit me in the head, you know I'm abnormal.

If you memorize a companies' phone number and you don't work for them, does that indicate a serious problem with their services?

Every internet geek worth their fedora knows that Washington is working with Mars Bars to place nano-GPS chips in their candy wrappers in order fulfill the original plan by the Martians to take over Earth.

Nothing can make you feel quite as stupid as trying really hard at something you suck at.

Dirty minds think alike.

Pathetic people can still be evil.

I suck, you suck, we suck, thou shalt sucketh

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says--"Oh crap! She's up!"

~Writers Block: when characters get fed up with all the shit you put them through and go on strike

“Okay, dodge the bubbles with teeth…got it.”

Pain and suffering is inevitable, but misery is optional.

“Dude, that's exactly it. It was a bad movie. A horrible movie. On such a level of suck that it was awesome. It takes a truly ingenious mind to reach that plane, that tier reserved for the truly great bad movies.”

If you feel the need to personally attack a writer in public for the way they write a certain fictional character, do yourself a favor: Turn off the computer, go outside and look at the world around you. Or just turn on the evening news. The world is full of amazing, wonderful, devastating and horrific real things that occur everyday. I swear, if the energy that people on this site and sites likes it use to bitch and moan about fictional fucking characters was put into fighting disease or taking our politicians to task, we could affect some serious change in this country. ..but I guess harping about which fictional character fucking who is much more important.

What’s common between you and a Christmas tree? The balls are only for decoration.

Real men wear tight pants. XD

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

An idiot is a fortieth-floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

The person who smiles when things go wrong has obviously found someone to blame it on...Either that, or they're admiring their handiwork.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

-There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

F.E.A.R. = Fuck Everything And Run

Murphy’s Laws:

(1). If anything can go wrong, it will.

(2). If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

(3). If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

(4). If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

(5). Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

(6). If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

(7). Nature always sides with the hidden flaw

(8). Whatever that has happened wrong, is bound to happen again ... maybe even worse.

(9). Given the most inappropriate time for something to go wrong, that's when it will occur.

(10). "Proof of Murphy's Law: Murphy's Law cannot be proven, yet is correct, as when you try to prove Murphy's Law, you will see that the proof is incorrect. This is obviously due to Murphy's Law; therefore Murphy's Law is correct and proven."

DO NOT SCREW WITH MURPHY'S LAW!

Frickity Fuckity Foo! Hey, it's better than abra-fucking-cadabra. :P

A government serves the people, not controls them, and that includes government run companies and agencies.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Don't stop your boring rant on my account, I was just getting sleepy-eyed.

It's not the people who are in prison that worry me. It's the people who aren't.

But the thing with mechanics is that they fix your car in a way that makes sure something else will break in a short time so they can get more of your money. (ASSHOLES!)

Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

I hate trying to decipher ambiguous comments.

One day I will get revenge on the bureaucrat who instigated paperwork. (Vengeance shall be mine! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

Death comes to everyone, silent and persistent. It's the extraordinary people, who greet Him without fear.

Insanity is unpredictable.

“I think you need to come over and argue with me, there’s too much agreement.”

“Have you ever had an addiction?” “Yeah, I was hooked on phonics once.”

When scary things run, it’s bad.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” --I’ve used that excuse before.

A hedge between keeps friendship green. --Stay the hell off my lawn.

Peace never lasts.

There is no villain. There is no hero. There is only redemption and damnation, success and failure.

Politics is a subtle knife that can slice you open even with the shallowest cut. --Me

Take me drunk, I’m home again.

And please…let us NOT ponder the ETHICS of THAT statement.

Every person involved in politics has four faces. They have the face they show their allies, a face they show their enemies, a face they show the public, and the one they reveal only when they know they're surrounded by those they trust completely.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm not. ~Bumper sticker

Redemption begins in the form of salvation.

Things, once changed, can never be the same. Things such as bonds and relationships. Once tampered with, altered, broken, shredded and forsaken, they can never retain their former glory. But they can be rebuilt anew, if one so wishes.

You killed my aunt’s brother’s best friend’s dog’s former owner!

Caught on fire last night while rummaging through sock drawer holding lit candle. Did not feel it. Something is wrong.

Everyone looks different when you're sober.

There is essentially no difference between Jedi and Sith. The things that motivate them are the same. It is only their causes that differ.

True coincidences are rare.

“You just killed a fucking priest. I knew you were going to hell before, but goddamn, you’ve got reservations and a first-class ticket now.”

“Because seriously, when people who don’t accept it die and judgment time rolls around, God is going to be seriously pissed off and He’s going to say ‘what the fuck, people, I send you a messenger and you shit heads fucking ignore him. You’re all going to Hell.’ And then they’ll be all ‘Oh shit, we should have listened’ but by then it’ll be too late and I’ll be laughing and saying ‘Ha ha, told you so you heathen fuckers! Bye bye!’ and then—” “God is going to say ‘what the fuck’?”

64 palm is not a groping Technique...are you sure about that..?

Gibbs and his attack!coffee.

I said to suture it, not butcher it!--Me

The good news is that there's no more bad news.

"You can learn a lot about paranoid people just by following them around."

"Birthdays are good for you. Research proves that the more you have, the longer you live."

Death is just more universal than life; not everyone lives, but everyone has to eventually die. It’s another lesson that people have to understand...and one that's very hard to learn.

Day to night, dark to light, Fall the sands of time. Let the years like the gears Of a clock unwind In your mind walk through time Back to better days. Memories, like a dream, Wash your tears away. Like a star in the sky darkness can't reach you. Light the night, joy is light 'til the new dawn. Cast away your old face Full of gloom and spite. With this mask I will ask To borrow your light.

Scars were only proof that you were alive. Proof that you got through worse. Maps of survival on the skin.

"You don't know where we are?" "We're somewhere between where we were and where we're going." "We don't know where we're going." "Then why is it so important to know where we are?"

Yay, morphine

"Mary Sue" the Plague of FanFiction
Join the Mary Sue Extermination Squad!
Get Your Krypto-MarySue-anite Today!

Show your support of the MSES by reposting this to your profile.

~R.I.P Uchiha Itachi~
You will always live within our hearts.
Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list if Itachi's death affected you greatly.
Show the world how much you care.

~I am a part of the Authors Against Perfect Original Characters Society (AAPOCS). If you are too, copy and paste this into your profile!

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick some one's ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a girl who actually EATS, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm in MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a dork
I say what I WANT, so I MUST be a jerk
I have STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST have no social life
I have bunch of GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be banging them all
I wear what I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Uchiha Itachi, Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto, Namikaze Minato, Hatake Kakashi, Sabaku no Gaara, Nara Shikamaru, Hoshigaki Kisame, Uchiha Shisui, Kyuubi no Youko, Hidan, and Mitarashi Anko.

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? ItaNaru, KakaNaru, GaaShika, ShikaNaru, KisaIta, ShiIta, HidanIta, NaruAnko.

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi, yuri or hentai fan? Naruto yaoi!! I do like het, but not obvious pairings.

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? Sadly, no. I would love to, but I haven't.

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: I've got a real kunai...and it's VERY sharp. Good for cutting things BTW, :D

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? I would have to say Naruto, Itachi, or Kakashi. Not just because I like them, but I can empathize with their problems.

7. NaruHina or KibaHina? KibaHina.

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Since I hate Sasuke, (I liked him before Shippuden) I would have to say SasuSaku. He truly doesn't deserve either of them, but he really doesn't deserve Naruto.

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7!! Kakashi and Naruto-kun are there!! :D

10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) It would be awesome if it were true, especially as Madara would still be running around doing evil things like corrupting kids. lol

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? YES! I think the idea of it has a LOT of potential...I mean take a photograph of the Yondaime and take a pic of Naruto...put them side by side and look closely at it. You can see a lot of similarities!

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? ITACHI-KUN!! KISAME!! HIDAN!!

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? Definitely Anti-Sasuke. Unless he's written awesomely and not like a total asshole like his Shippuden personality. I get his cause for revenge and all that, but really? Madara's the one you should be killing...okay and Danzo, Homura, and Koharu deserve to die too...but not the rest of Konoha. Come on boy! THINK!

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? I'm watching some of Shippuden now, yes.

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? I have the manga where Itachi dies...I cried a little...especially when I learnt the truth.

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? I don't think so. Though he is a clever little fox...

17. Sub or dub? I prefer them speaking Japanese. It sounds more ninja-y if they're speaking the native tongue. I don't mind dubs, but if I have a choice between them, subs would be it.

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Neutral. I neither hate her nor do I like her. In Shippuden, she's not that bad, so I can say Neutral/Sort-of Like now. XD

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? HILARIOUS! Remember, Tobi is a Good Boy! XD

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Yeah! :P

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? He's an Ugly Beast. :D

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? I would have to say, either Itachi or Naruto. Naruto for his Orioke no jutsu. Itachi, just because he's a really pretty man. XD Take his hair out, add a lil bit of makeup, and VIOLA! Girl!Itachi. XD

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome ? He's the awesome type of weird.

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? Itachi. It's just so much fun to have him say something!!

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Of Course!! I have a community of all my favorite Naruto fics! It's Dark Respite's Favorite Naruto Stories. Yeah, I know. Not very original. :P

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? YEAH! It's fun writing Time Travel, Yaoi, and What-Ifs.

27. Do you like lemons? Uh...I have never written a lemon before...I would like to think it wouldn't be too bad, but I dunno really.

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? No.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No. Which makes me sad.

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? See question 29.

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? No. I'm like, the only one in my family who's ever even heard of anime/manga.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? No. I can't even draw stick people right. If I drew something, nobody would be able to recognize it!

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' I'm not in school anymore, and no.

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? Not in school.

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Not at all. I mean, it doesn't cost me anything to read Naruto fics online here...does it?

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? HELL YEAH! It'd be even better if they had a Yaoi edition! XD

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? I could see it, if it's written in a certain light, but not really.

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. As I said before, my drawing sucks.

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? HELL NO! Giant bat wings made out of hands?! That's fucked up!

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Not at the moment. Wouldn't try anyway. I don't read OC's.

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? It's taking over a little bit of my life, but not a lot of it. After all, I still have to have time to go to my other fandoms!! XD

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the 2 percent who hasn't tried it, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactively Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, RandomTopic, Dark Respite

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are trying to fit in, if you're one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy, paste, and then add your name to the growing list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimeKittyCafe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienal, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, The-Good-Die-Alone, shadowkat 2701, Afw, charmedcrazy14, charmedbaby11, Touch of The Wind, RandomTopic, Dark Respite

Still Alive. Killed the zombies!