IMPORTANT NOTE AS OF MAY 9, 2011: to everyone that's asking whether or not i'm going to continue The Will Of D, please, stop asking. It's not like i've given up.when I'm balancing writing my own stories, Co-writing with Majin on Naruto: Game Of The Year Edition, and keeping up with schoolwork, something isn't going to get the attention it deserves. for quite some time, that was schoolwork, which i've since payed for many times over. since the only one pushing the work on The Will Of D is myself, while Majin gives me a much-needed kick in the backside when I slow down on Naruto: GOTY, and I've made a promise to myself not to go through what I did when every single one of my grades tanked, (I was forced to transfer to a new school, BTW), The Will Of D has slowed down progress to a snail's pace. I AM NOT GIVING UP, however. The Will Of D is NOT A DEAD FIC. as soon as summer comes around, progress WILL PICK UP. do not think that i've abandoned you for a second. The Will Of D Lives On!

damn, my tone has really changed over the years. let's see if we can get this profile sounding less like a hyperactive 5-year-old on candy steroids and more like a respectable adult, shall we?

Sex: anytime, anywhere, with anything that has boobs and a vagina. so, yes, i'm a regular guy.

Age: Old enough to know better, Young enough to do it anyway.

Likes: I like anime and manga (though I only read the big-name series, so i'm not like some of my friends who read some really esoteric stuff), I like writing both fanfiction and stuff I intend to publish one day, I like reading books of all sorts (I have half a mind i've read through the entire fantasy section in my local library) and I like music, both playing it and listening to it.

Dislikes: I dislike people telling me what to do without any explanation (which has gotten me into some deep shit more than a few times), idiots who don't know what the hell they're talking about but act like they do, and jellybeans... what? did you expect something serious?

Favored Pairings:

Nami/Luffy (one piece)

Zoro/Robin (one piece)

Naruto/Hinata (Naruto) (only if they're not blatantly throwing out Canon and doing whatever they want. also, cliches rape my brain.)

Naruto/Sakura (Naruto) (again, same as above.)

Naruto/Female (Naruto)

Ed/Winry (full metal alchemist)

Link/Zelda (legend of zelda)

I have a lot more, but I don't particularly feel like trying to remember them all at the moment.

I accept criticism that is intended to improve my writing quality. after all, how does anybody learn what they have to do better, other than by other people telling them what they did wrong and right? however, trolls will be trolls, so anybody sending flames will be brutally shredded to pieces. don't push me, I have rants up the wahzoo to bust your ass with.

if anybody wants to use a portion or plot point of my story in their own fanfiction, simply drop me a line and a link. as long as you're not flat-out plaigiarizing my stories, i'm perfectly cool with you using some of my ideas.

Update As Of July 13, 2011: damn, my profile is long. when the hell did this turn into my blog? i'm clearing out the non-important stuff to try and clean up the clutter. oh, and just so everybody knows, just as I promised, things are picking up once again with The Will Of D now that I don't have school to deal with. at the moment of writing this, the word count it up to 4,038 words. i'm not quite at a good spot to end and post the chapter, though, so you'll have to wait a bit longer to get something.

Update As Of September 13, 2010: hey, guys. been a while since I wrote anything of my own. well, there's a reason for that. a lot of bad shit been happening to me over the summer, and quite frankly, I'm burned out. I'm taking a Hiatus from writing any of my own work, to try and sort my life out, however long that may take, before I get back to the Will of D or my Harem story. I'm still Co-writing Naruto: Game Of The Year with Majin, though, since he writes the plot of the story, and I just make it pretty to look at. for now, that's pretty much all I can manage. I intend to finish The Will Of D, no matter how long that takes, as i've got the whole thing planned out in my mind, but I need to place Real Life in front of my writing needs. I love you guys to death, so it kills me to basically put all of my stories on an Indefinite Hiatus, but damn... right now, trying to make myself write anything on my own is a massive chore, and I simply don't derive any pleasure from it like I used to. I just want to put this out here so that all the people asking when I'm going to update know. my response? I honestly don't know myself.

Update As Of March 8, 2010: fuck. well, that's it, I'm done. I tried. I honestly tried. I tried to put up with it, I tried to tolerate it, but this latest move puts it into a whole new level of douchbaggery. i'm done. fuck, I should've done this a while ago! why did I even try to stick with the series so long! as of right now, in my mind, Naruto: shippuden never happened. never! sasuke is being such a psychopathic asswipe, he killed the hokage and admits it (which is akin to admitting you shot Lincoln or JFK) and naruto STILL wants to bring him back to the village!? god-damn. I'm done trying to keep up with the series. the first half was when the story was still believable, so that's what i'm sticking to!

Update as of October 11, 2009: you know you're popular when you have one of your stories translated into another language. big hugs and handshakes to Hajyh-chan for translating The Will Of D into FRENCH!! Le Gasp! lol

here's the link, for all you french-type people: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5434807/1/ enjoy, frenchies!

Update as of September 24, 2009: I... I... my eyes... why can't I see? my brain... I can't feel my brain... where's my brain? help... somebody... get me some brain bleach... I have read things that were not meant to be read... I... I think i'm going to take a break from writing for a while... go to the therapist... my eyes... trollfic...

my final message... never read My Immortal... FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, DO NOT READ THE HARRY POTTER FIC MY IMMORTAL BY TARA GILESBIE!! YOU CANNOT UNSEE WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN, SO DO NOT SEE IT!! don't be like me... I thought I could handle it... read it for the lulz... but... my eyes... it's burned into my brain... once you start, you can't stop... like watching a trainwreck, a oil tanker and a passenger plane all crashing together at once... it's horrible, but you can't look away... I... I don't feel so good... mother? is that you...? I... I thought you were dead...

update as of September 8, 2009: oh my god I have just seen the most epic flag in the history of flags. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1572168/The-new-face-of-Britain-Flag-poll-results.html if they actually changed it to that, I am SO hitching a ride on the first plane to britain. damn, you've gotta love those shades.

Update as of August 27, 2009: wow. that's a little eye-opening. any of you ever heard of Perfect Lionheart? he's recently just posted on all (that i've read) of his stories that he is now pretty much blocked from ever posting again on fanfiction dot net. something about the admins posting something called 'torpedo code' that pretty much crashes his computer as soon as he so much as looks at this site. he is now officially done with this site (which I have somewhat mixed feelings about, as his story, Chunin Exam Day, is one of, if not the, highest reviewed stories in the naruto fanverse. some of his ideas and his writing styles don't always agree with me, but I have to at least respect that man, seeing as how he got that far.)

it's a shocker because 1, I had no idea that fanfiction was so user-unfriendly. I, for one, have not had any of the problems that he has stated. second, I have no idea what this 'torpedo code' thing is, or any of the other policies that he has stated that fanfictionn has taken. quote unquote, "The never-to-be-sufficiently-damned owners of this site have been playing "my way or the highway" with their meaningless upgrades for so long that I'm just sick and tired of it. Nor do I have any more reason to put up with it any longer, going through hoops posting from borrowed machines and so on, as I've been doing, since I can't even read my reviews any more."

does anybody even have an inkling of what he's talking about? 'cause I don't. therefore, my mixed feelings. one the one hand, he's leaving, and he's had some good ideas thoughtout his time. of course, then there's the flip side: I have no idea what he's talking about. I have not seen hide nor hair of any of the things that he's talked about. therefore, I have the small, niggling feeling that he's just BSing us to get out of writing. he could just say, 'I have no more ideas, so i'm leaving FF. bye guys!' but he comes up with that. of course, if he's right, then open mouth, insert foot. so, at any rate, see ya Perfect Lionheart! it's been nice while you were here! good luck in real life!

Update as of july 31, 2009: well, I deleted my avatar: the last airbender story from the list. in all honesty, I don't know why I started writing it in the first place. I only had a vague idea of where I wanted it to go, it had already beaten the idea to death with my other two stories, and it was recieved poorly by the masses. so, yeah. Prophet is gone. not even he could predict this one.

The First Law of Fanfiction states that every change which strengthens the protagonists requires a corresponding worsening of their challenges. Or in plainer language: You can't make Frodo a Jedi without giving Sauron the Death Star. Read any book on writing ever and it will tell you that stories are about conflict; a hero too strong for their conflict is no longer in tense, heart-pounding difficulty. For example, Dark!Dumbledore and Dark!Harry both permit a Harry strengthened over canon - the first by turning one of Harry's canon!allies against him, and the second by turning Harry against his canon!allies. The most spectacular application of this principle that I've seen is Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time, in which Harry has gained all the knowledge of ancient Atlantis and has been through literally hundreds of Peggy Sue cycles in which he learns every possible twist of fate... and Voldemort, who unfortunately got to Atlantis first, has still won every time. The Mary Sue is not defined by her power, but by her lack of an even more powerful opponent. I mention this (1) so that you know I know it and (2) because the First Law of Fanfiction ought to be in a giant banner on every fanfiction site. The most fatal temptation of fanfiction writing is to think of how much easier some character's life would be if they were a ninja. We are naturally inclined to think up ways to solve our characters' problems for them, but must learn instead to make their lives more difficult.

Easy ways to tell when a story blows:
1. If the summary contains nothing but questions.
2. If the word "bashing" appears at any point.
3. If the title is not capitalized.
4. If the summary possesses no capitalization.
5. If the summary lacks grammar.
6. If any characters name is misspelled.
7. If the main character is super powerful, every male ignores that, and every female jumps him. Reverse for female main.
8. If ten billion kage bunshin are used as a learning tool.
9. If every character other than the main and the love interest couldn't figure out how to breathe without reminders.
10. If every character other than the main and the love interest spends their screen time making stupid plans to portray themselves as soulless monsters/assholes.
11. If the author consistently cannot be bothered to capitalize all proper nouns.
12. If the author utterly rebukes attempts to help them.
13. If any and/or all characters are completely out of character without solid, long, thought out story arcs to explain the gradual shift.
14. If a character is so different that the only thing tying them to the original is a name.
15. If there is nothing tying the character to the original except for Word of God.
16. If more than two paragraphs are used in opening and closing authors notes.
17. If the first authors notes contain something to the effect of 'don't like don't read' in regards to their skill at creative writing. Warnings for content are fine.
18. If the first chapter makes any character strong enough to slap The Dragon.
19. If The First Law of Fanfiction is broken.
20. If a mentor swoops in from nowhere and creates a Badass in a few months/years where it would take years/decades to reach average level.
21. If at any point a horrible childhood is used as an excuse for anything except for the use of traumatic outbursts.
22. If the author simply cannot deviate from said/asked even when the dialogue demands it. Murmured is not Said. Screamed is not Said. Gently whispered directly into their ear is not fucking Said.
23. If, while conversing, a character is not shown to do anything but talk. No facial change. No use of hands to illustrate a point. No nervous fidgeting.
24. If the entire story can be summed up as
"Statement," Character A said.
"Question?" Character B asked.
That's a script, Not a story.
25. If a major character is given no background.
26. If the background of a major character is never used.
27. If the main character does nothing but whine about life. Tragedy Hurt/Comfort and Angst are understandable, WHEN done right. Most people here do not have the experience to pull them off realistically.
28. If every character, despite having been born decades apart, in separate cultures, have the exact same speech pattern if not accent.
29. If the author flaunts major divergences from intrinsic Cannon lore without so much as a warning. i.e. Shadow clones take a set amount of power each instead of an equal division between the creator and the clones.
30. If any character suddenly decides to hate their loved ones and jump into bed with GenericHotFemale23 with no discernible buildup or reasoning. If love potions/mindcontrol/impersonation are involved, kudos to you for a plot twist. That said, at some point you must at least show that the character is indeed acting wrong and that you are, in fact, not a horrible author.
31. If the author refuses to use proper conjugation. Ill is not the same as I'll
32. If the author does not acknowledge improper uses of homonyms. Red≠read where≠wear
33. If the author uses weary, an expression denoting fatigue, in place of wary, an expression denoting suspicion or caution.
I'm going to stop here because it's getting pathetic how fast I'm pumping these out. These apply IF the author is unwilling to admit when they are doing something wrong.

90 percent of people in this world are shallow and conceited. if you think it's no coincidence that same percent of people are NaruSaku haters, copy and paste this into your profile. By order of The Animaniac Dude

Weird is good, strange is bad, odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique. Therefore, weird is good. If you're weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, survived, or who died of a heart attack or heart disease.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

93 percent of Americans would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

god is a comedian playing for an audience too afraid to laugh. if you believe this, then copy and paste this on your profile.

The Laws of Anime Version 6.0

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.