UPDATE: Since I've returned to school, and I chose to leave my computer at home to further concentrate on my academics (my last year and all), I won't be able to write quite so much as I used to. Never fear, I'll still work on my stories between homework and classes and activities, and I'll update as often as possible. Just don't get mad at me for slacking off, please :)

Name: Swing Girl At Heart

AIM Username: blondymc360 (feel free to IM me anytime!)

Age: 17

Birthday: August 4th, 1992 (Leo) WOOT! SAME BIRTHDAY AS OBAMA!!

Grade: 12th

Hometown: Wouldn't you like to know.

Obsessions: Weaving, writing, movies

Ambitions: To own my own weaving studio and shop, and possibly publish a novel or two.

Likes/Hates: I'm a die-hard fan of Hugh Blumenfeld, Michael Welch, Robert Sean Leonard, House MD, Death Cab for Cutie, and Patton Oswalt. I also love Frank Whaley, Alan Tudyk, Peter Facinelli (in movies OTHER THAN Twilight), Christian Bale, Dar Williams, Shawn Colvin, Gloria Trevi, and listening to movie soundtracks :D Tragically, I have a boring enough life that I have the entire film of Swing Kids memorized, and can only listen to the music or dialogue to know exactly which shot is being shown. Yes, I am in fact that pathetic. As for the Twilight cult, don't make me laugh. It's fine for a bit of light reading, but other than that, quite boring. The only characters in the entire Twilightverse that I like are the fathers: Carlisle, Charlie, and Billy Black, and we don't see nearly enough of Mike Newton. I'm not a huge fan of Harry Potter, but I have read all the books and seen the movies through Order of the Phoenix, and they're not bad, save for the atrocity of David Yates' directorial skills (gag). I hate loud noises, big cities, and not having alone-time. I love writing so that I can vanish into my own little world and escape from real life for a little while. Weaving is one of the activities that keeps me sane, and it also seems to be the only class I excel at. I love watching movies if just for the cinematography and picking out trends between movies with the same director (kudos to Joe Wright for Atonement and Pride & Prejudice - LOVE the long shots following the characters through the extravagant sets! Absolute cinematic brilliance!) I like all genres of film, but the one type I can't stand is a movie with no point to it (coughSuperbadcough)

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHERE THE STUFF I LOVE COMES FROM! I JUST LOVE THE STUFF I LOVE!"

"I talk to the squirrels, dammit!"

"Please cut the camera. I just scared the shit outta myself."

"So we go over to Planned Parenthood, and they say 'Look, we can't sell you the pill without a prescription, but you can go across the street to the Costco and they'll just sell it to you over the counter'! AT THE FUCKING COSTCO! A year's worth of macaroni and cheese, a 50-gallon drum of crangrape juice, and a pill that'll kill a baby! ALL RIGHT!"

"When my body has returned to the loam, and the cities are but dust, alien civilizations will know that I AM A DOUCHEBAG!"

"My reality sucks."

"What about people like me, who have learned to control their drinking and are not polluting the planet with kids? Don't I get something?!"

~Patton Oswalt

Fanfiction Friends:

It'sTimeToDance: An AMAZING correspondent and a writer with a talent that far exceeds her age - do yourself a favor and READ HER STORIES (and her blog!)

helena91169: Hell, my awesome roommate! Hasn't actually posted anything yet 'cause she's lazy, but that's okay :P

Lyndalion: An excellent correspondent, and a WONDERFUL, imaginative artist. Seriously, go check out her DeviantArt page - the link is on her profile.

Joker88: possibly one of the BEST writers on this site! Make her a priority!

My Stories (posted):

Alternatives: Dr. Greg House had always lived his life in misery, but still taken it for granted. Then, a man enters Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, raving about body-snatchers invading the earth right under the humans' noses. House suddenly realizes that the man's descriptions of the aliens fit his closest friend, who has recently had a slight shift in his personality and behavior. A confrontation of Wilson shows a silver reflection in his eyes, proving that Wilson, as House knew him, had ceased to exist long ago. Torn as the invasion continues with the humans mostly unaware, House joins a group of wild humans in the subways of New York, living with them for three years before suddenly being shot down on the street by another wild human, who mistakes him for one of the parasites. He is found in time for the aliens' Healers to rescue his body, and implant one of their own. When House awakens, he has been pushed to the back of his own mind, unable to control his own movements and unable to do anything but watch as Storm Hunter, the implanted soul, continues to live - literally - in House's shoes. At first, the two of them constantly fight, but after time wears them both down and they face enemies they never thought they'd have in common, they learn to live with each other. (House MD/The Host crossover)

Dead Poets Don't Live Forever: After Charlie's expulsion, he's left at the only private school in New England that would admit him, and it's the polar opposite of what he's used to. The students do most of the maintenance on the school and express themselves through art in ways that would never have been allowed at Wellton, taking classes that would give Mr. Nolan a stroke. But Charlie is about to find out that when it comes to your parents dreams for you, it doesn't matter where you are.

Break: Mike Newton goes on what was supposed to be a simple, quiet camping trip, but as two beautiful but frightening strangers emerge from the woods, takes a drastic turn for the worse. Future, slightly AU. Theory piece.

Rising Sun: Twilight, AU. Set in the mid-2200s, in a world where vampires are common knowledge and lab-bred half-human creatures wander the streets. A large European coven of vampires has gone rogue, refusing to abide by the human-protection laws that stop their kind from feeding on their natural source of sustenance, and the Volturi have called upon all the covens to aid in tracking them down. During their campaign to return the rogue vampires to vegetarianism, Edward meets Bella, an aquila (half human, half bird of prey) who is different from the rest of her species. Edward and Bella fall in love, but the strain that the rogue coven has put on vampire-human politics may not allow them to be together as more and more humans fall victim, and the vampires come ever closer to being exiled from civilization forever.

Malleus Maleficarum: London, 1667, late night. It's dark, it's quiet, and the air is so thick with anxiety that you can taste it. A mob, led by a still-human Carlisle, lies in wait for a vampire to emerge. When it finally does, Carlisle is bitten, and so begins his life of immortality.

Remaining: A oneshot in which Taub, after years of working at Princeton and seeing his coworkers leave for various reasons, begins to feel the effects of age, and pays Thirteen a visit as she deals with Huntington's.

Losing Interest: Wilson discovers that House has been making regular trips to New York in secret for the past two years, and follows him to try to figure out what he's up to. But when he learns that House is visiting a psychiatric institution, Wilson can only hope that House is getting some help with the numerous problems he suffers from. Then, the discovery of a patient file kept locked up in House's desk puts an end to Wilson's previous beliefs, and he slowly learns that House's secret is something that nobody - not even his best friend - could have guessed. Rated T for horrifying images.

Don't Sing, Don't Shine: A Joker origins story, on a dark and rainy night in the corrupt city of Gotham, with no superheroes in sight. Featuring my favorite lullaby.

The Ice Is Getting Thinner: House begins to notice that Wilson is behaving differently, becoming more snappish and aggressive, and determines that his best friend is sick. The others (and Wilson) refuse to believe him until the Boy Wonder's insides turn against him. House and the team take off on a race against time to find a cure before Wilson dies from deprivation of food, sleep, and sanity.

To Have Lived and Lost: A continuation of Swing Kids (my favorite movie in the world, no question) told through the eyes of Willi Müller as he goes through his life after his brother Peter is captured by the Nazis and sent to a concentration camp. He becomes a Swing Boy in his brother's place, causing conflict between him and his mother. Then, after the war ends and Willi reaches 16 years of age, he meets a concentration camp survivor who is on the brink of death and slowly nurses him back to health. Probably my best work so far, out of both fanfics and originals, and a sequel is already half-way planned out. ((WARNING: Character Death))

Haven: It is now the 1950's, and Paula Richmond has just moved to Haven, Massachusetts with her father and brother. Money is scarce, so 16-year-old Paula is pushed into finding work outside of school. She lands a job with the Müllers, a German couple who own a cafe in the town square and who seem to have a more tragic history than their smiling faces let on. But the war had lasting effects, and despite the fact that the Müllers have lived there for several years, they still have not gained the town's trust. As she goes about her work busing tables, washing dishes, and jobs otherwise mundane, Paula finds herself pulled in two directions - to defend the people she knows are wrongly accused, or maintain her relationships with the town, her neighbors, and her family. Sequel to my Swing Kids fic, To Have Lived And Lost. ((WARNING: Character Death))

M for Mischa: The last few scenes of Hannibal Rising, told through the perspective of Mischa's spirit. The idea is that she is now part of anybody who fed on her, and she can feel/see/sense everything they do. Kinda weird...

The Half Moon: My Future/AU Brothers Grimm fic, on hiatus for the time being. I'll probably continue it in future when my inspiration returns to me.

Anything But Ordinary: My first Dark Knight fanfiction, a oneshot about how the Joker received his scars. Yes, I know. It's been done before. This one begins at the Joker's birth and shows several scenes from different points in his childhood until the mutilation and his first murder. He's not humanized. That's just plain WRONG. ((WARNING: Character Death))

Closer to Them: On hiatus. A parallel storyline of War of the Worlds, going through the movie again through the aliens' POV. Main character is a young lieutenant called Ranok Sakina. Did you ever think that maybe the alien soldiers didn't want to be there? ((WARNING: Character Death))

Rum and Coca Cola: Yet another on hiatus. Jeez, I'm starting to feel bad about this... Anyway, RaCC is my first and only Great Mouse Detective fic - an overlapping storyline. I did what I usually do - took not-so-prominent characters and turned them into the main ones. The performing triplets from the seedy pub visited by Basil and Dawson are featured - Abby is the vain comedienne, Bertha is the eloquent dreamer, and Donna is the fiery and outspoken tough girl. As third-class performers with little money, no family and no prospects, their lives are only held together by their reliance on one another. Things begin to brighten when Bertha falls in love with a handsome, upper-class mouse called Victor. Then everything goes downhill when Victor's darkened past catches up, and he vanishes into thin air. Thankfully, Victor is the cousin of the renowned detective, Basil of Baker street.

Touch of the Dead: My first Sixth Sense fic. Follows the lives of Cameron Walker and Cole Sear as their paths cross and become intertwined. Cole has to help Cameron find her brother's murderer using his 'ability' to trail the path left behind by an emerging psychotic. Is undergoing some re-writing to make it slightly more plausible and well-written.

Six Years Later: My first fanfiction ever - a take-off on The Good Son. Six years after Henry Evans' death, his little sister has grown up and wants to know more about him. One problem: her family is determined to keep the truth from her. Is she ready for reality?

My Stories (unposted):

The Artful Dodger: Elena Ramon didn't kill her brother. No one believes her. She's put in Arkham on the insanity plea, only to escape when Ra's al Ghul's men unleash the inmates upon the Narrows. Fate is on her side, however, and she slips through the fingers of the authorities, fighting her way into downtown Gotham. Enter Maggie, a solitary street girl who helps Elena learn to pickpocket, steal, and hoard whatever comes her way - the keys to survival in their world. Then when Gotham comes under the regime of a certain crazed clown, Maggie and Elena find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, and are inevitably swept up in the Joker's spontaneous antics. ((WARNING: Character Death))

Untitled Clan of the Cave Bear Fiction: In the near future of 2015, Mark Nolan is a computer man working on developing a new technology that enables scientists to reach back through time and bring forth ancient artifacts to be studied. Then, the first trial goes wrong, and a family of three prehistoric people is brought forward instead. Unable to resist the temptation, the scientists keep the three of them in the facility for close examinations instead of sending them back, giving no thought to the fact that they don't have immunity to anything that exists today. When the mother falls deadly ill, Mark is forced to decide between right and wrong: get the family out so that she can get medical treatment...or leave her to die.

Untitled Sweeney Todd Fiction: Lucy Barker never wanted to leave her baby Joanna in the hands of the judge. Benjamin Barker never wanted to go to prison. Delilah Lovett never wanted to sell her son. And Tobey never wanted to be in the workhouses. Fate is never fair. ((WARNING: Character Death - seriously, could you have a Sweeney Todd fic without death?? I didn't think so))

A NOTE ABOUT DISCLAIMERS:

A couple people have emailed me, asking why I put no disclaimers on my stories (aside from Touch of the Dead and Six Years Later, both of which were written a very long time ago), so I've decided to elaborate here.

It's true, today we live in an age where using pirated media is so common that nobody thinks of it as a crime any more. Downloading movies, music, videogames, etc. and not having to pay for them is nothing big. This is also true with the fanfiction universe. But there's one difference: disclaimers are unnecessary for fanfiction, and you know why? Because they're fanfiction. And dubbing it fanfiction is an automatic disclaimer in itself. It says to the reader that it's not entirely yours and that it's an entirely innocent way to use this media, thus releasing you of any legal obligations whatsoever. I'd bet everything I own that if you were tried in court for writing a fanfiction with no disclaimer, this is the argument that your lawyer would use to win the case. Of course, you'll probably never go to court for this (most judges have better things to do with their time), but my point is still valid.

I post no disclaimers because I am claiming the effort that I put into creating the story.