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Zoey Rowan
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Poll: Sequel to What's Your Poison...you decide what happens! Vote Now!
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since: 05-11-07, id: 1276416, Profile Updated: 04-29-12
country: USA
Author has written 41 stories for Inheritance Cycle, Black Jewels Trilogy, Harry Potter, Wheel of Time, Monty Python, Star Wars, Vampires, and Doctor Who.

Hey guys!! Welcome you to my profile! Just a few things about me:

Age: None of yours!
Marital status: None of your business unless you are a pretty redheaded girl or a fit dark haired boy. ;)
Location: The Hill Country of Texas, USA
Best Friend: Kohakuhime of Konoha Read her stories!! They are great!!

Stories Proposed/In the works:

Hey Juliet: A Love Story
Summary: Draco and Juliet. They have hated, loved, lost, been each other's worst enemies and dearest lovers. This is their story. Draco/fem!Harry. WIP

Hungry Like the Wolf
Summary: A rewrite of my popular story Operation Werewolf, currently working on chapter 1, so stay tuned! WIP

When I Said I Do
Summary: Sequel to What's Your Poison?, set twenty years later. WIP

I Shagged Bill Weasley Because the Nargles Told Me
Summary: I Shagged Bill Weasley Because the Nargles Told Me To: A Collection. Drabbleish fics I wrote because I was bored. Various Characters/pairings. Het, Yaoi, Yuri, etc. Will update as the mood strikes. Ciao!

Oh, my best friend, KoK drew a picture of Loup for me! Loup!! And here are some Polyvore sets I created for characters in Operation Werewolf and sequels: WHOOT!

My Writers:

SomthingMachineBloodyRose90

An Officer's Life - Author Unknown

You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding, He just got done with a accident where people died because they were going to fast.
You wonder why that cop is so mean, He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a Kid.
You work for 8 hours, He works for up to 18 hours
You drink hot coffee to stay awake, The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.
You complain of a headache and called in sick, He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.
You drink coffee on your way to the Mall, He spills his coffee as he runs Code 3 to a traffic stop with kids Trapped inside.
You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house, He makes sure his gun is clean and full loaded and his vest is tight.
You talk trash about your buddies that arent with you, He watches his buddy get shot at, and wounded in front of him.
You walk down the beach,staring at all the pretty girls, He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic accident.
You complain how hot it is, He wears 50 pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in July and still runs around chasing Crack Heads.
You yell and scream at the Squad car that just passed you because they slowed you down, He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car.
You roll your eyes when a baby cries, He picks up a dead child and wishes that it was crying.
You criticize your police department and say they are never there quick enough, He blasts his siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone.
You hear jokes about fallen Officers and say they shouldve known better, He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away, in order to make sure no one else get's hurt and loses his life doing it.
You sit there and judge him, saying there a waste of money to have them around, Yet as soon as you need help he is there.

Favorite Quotes:

"I will beat you within an inch of your life and stomp on the inch!" Betrothed and Oblivious by Social-flutterby

"The next person to compare Stephane Meyer to JK Rowling will be bitch slapped so hard their genitals will fall off."

The Battle of the Sexes will never be won, there is to much fraternizing with the enemy.

End Homophobia

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

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1. I Shagged Bill Weasley Because the Nargles Told Me » reviews
Title: I Shagged Bill Weasley Because the Nargles Told Me To: A Collection. Drabbleish fics I wrote because I was bored. Various Characters/pairings. Het, Yaoi, Yuri, etc. Enjoy the nonsense!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-25-12 - N. Tonks & Bill W.
2. Operation Werewolf » reviews
BEING REWRITTEN, STAY TUNED! Genetic experiments. That's what the MoM is up to now. The Order is called in to help protect an escaped experiment, an unlikely guardian is chosen. GW/OC, HP/LL, RW/HG.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,845 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 3-3-12 - Published: 11-5-09 - Ginny W. & OC - Complete
3. Hey Juliet: A Love Story reviews
Draco and Juliet. They have hated, loved, lost, been each other's worst enemies and dearest lovers. This is their story. Draco/fem!Harry, AU, don't like, don't read!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,249 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-5-11 - Draco M. & Harry P.
4. A Rose by Any Other Name reviews
"Your name is Gallifree, after your dad's lost world. Gallifree Tyler, the newest Time Lady." Popped into my head after watching Season 2 finale, Doomsday. I guess you could call it A/U, if you wanna be a stickler for detail. My 1st DW story, so be nice!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 5-21-11 - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - Complete
5. What's Your Poison? » reviews
Cause sometimes a little liquor is all you need... Harry and Bill find their relationship is a bit deeper than they thought at the bottom of a bottle.. Written for Kamerreon's Rare Slash Pairing. Slash implied, rated for alcohol abuse, mostly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,160 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-8-11 - Published: 1-20-10 - Harry P. & Bill W. - Complete
6. Obliviate! reviews
Gilderoy Lockhart destroyed more than his memory that day in the Chamber of Secrets. This is an implied slash, don't like, don't read! A prompt from Kamerreon's Prompt Generator.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-6-11 - Gilderoy L. & Harry P. - Complete
7. Of Myths and Canines reviews
There is a myth that crops up every now and then in the halls of Hogwarts. It says that the station of Kings Crossing is enchanted. Slash, just something I thought up while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. That's right, bitches, I'm back!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-6-11 - Harry P. & Lee J. - Complete
8. What Malfoy's Don't Do reviews
Malfoys don't sleep on couches. Harry and Draco have a fight and Draco ends up on the couch. Fluffy and angsty, but it all works out in the end. Written for Kamerreon's Secret Santa Fic Exchange.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,078 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-1-11 - Harry P. & Draco M. - Complete
9. Fate reviews
Harry gets hit by a curse while on a dig. Just a random ficlet.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-16-10 - Harry P. & Seamus F. - Complete
10. Stay reviews
She had always known he was going to leave...but she had still given in, allowed herself that small hope. One of my takes on the sudden disappearance of our least favorite pug-faced pureblood.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-7-10 - Pansy P. & Draco M. - Complete
11. Steel reviews
In the magical world, there are few rules and guidelines that must be followed...one of the most important rules of all, though, is that you cannot bind most magics with steel.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 625 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-28-10 - Astoria G. & Draco M. - Complete
12. Ginny Weasley Writes a Letter reviews
Ginny knows she's different, and the knowledge has driven her to find herself in drugs and beer. When she writes a letter to her father, pouring out her heart, everything changes. Family!Remus/Ginny. GW/NL
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,554 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-25-10 - Ginny W. & Remus L. - Complete
13. Another One Bites the Dust reviews
Blaise was manipulated into betraying his friends...This is the alternate sequel to Somebody to Love, featuring a manipulated Blaise. :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-6-10 - Blaise Z.
14. Highway to Hell » reviews
Blaise wanted to have Draco all to himself...but his plan backfired. Draco/Ginny, onesided Blaise/Draco. Title from the AC/DC song. Sequel to Somebody to Love
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-6-10 - Published: 3-27-10 - Blaise Z. & Draco M. - Complete
15. I Never Forgot
Ian happens upon Eirien early one morning and has a little talk with her. One-shot for the Phoenix Files, takes place after Return.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,745 - Published: 4-2-10 - Draco M. & OC - Complete
16. Highway 20 Ride reviews
Harry is going to pick up his kids from his ex-wife's house...fluffy, probably too many details, again. Oh well. Read and review, please! Title from the Zac Brown Band song.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,672 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-28-10 - Harry P. - Complete
17. Somebody to Love » reviews
Ginny wakes up somewhere she doesn't recognize, only to find an all to familiar face in the shower. Title from the Queen song.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,348 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 3-26-10 - Published: 3-21-10 - Ginny W. & Draco M. - Complete
18. Slytherin Goddess » reviews
Raea Slytherin and Lucas Gryffindor-Malfoy were lovers killed for being together. Centuries later, they have found each other and come into their elemental birthrights. Bad Summary, funny-cliched story. Testing myself with this one, R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,726 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 3-11-10 - Published: 3-2-10 - Ginny W. & Draco M.
19. Forever reviews
How did Snape and Lily break it off? Just a one-shot expanding on J.K.Rowling's established plotline. Heehee, canon for once.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 1-6-10 - Lily Evans P. & Severus S. - Complete
20. Hogwarts Never Ends
Based off the song "High School Never Ends" by Bowling for Soup. Got bored while writing Pictures...Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 752 - Published: 1-3-10 - Complete
21. Lover Unrequited » reviews
Lhust was Xhex's best friend growing up. When she shows up after a hundred years, threatening everything Xhex has built, what's our favorite security guard to do? A/U Black Dagger Brotherhood by J. R. Ward. Xhex/John Matthew-Tehrror, implied Blay/Qhuinn
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,259 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-3-10 - Published: 10-14-09 - Complete
22. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts » reviews
I love these, decided to do my own. Drabbles, one shots, a few duo and tri shots. Will be updated slowly, just warning. First up is Sirius and his Drawers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 412 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12-25-09 - Sirius B. & Harry P.
23. Pictures of the Past » reviews
A picture says a thousand words and a book of them tells a history so powerful and magical it is impossible to believe. When a descendant of Eragon Shadeslayer finds a photo album put together by him, the tales are once again told. A/U, Shadeslayer tale.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,285 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 11-30-09 - Published: 11-12-09 - Eragon S. & Brom
24. Just Because » reviews
Surreal is having a hard time accepting her daughter is old enough to have her Birthright Ceremony. Light, childish fluff. Platonic!Surreal/Rainier. Shortfic for Children of Witch, during Child of Witch.
Black Jewels Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,423 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-12-09 - Published: 10-29-08 - Surreal - Complete
25. Their Characters, Our World » reviews
What would happen if some characters from books made it into our world? Well, first off, we need to decide who those characters would be.
Crossover - Wheel of Time & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,036 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-12-09 - Published: 2-5-09 - Mat C. & Eragon S. - Complete
26. Duty: A Shadeslayer Story » reviews
Brom and Eldrey, the twin grandsons of Eragon Shadeslayer are now grown men. While one is chosen as a Rider, the other is left to fend for himself. What could push a man so far that he would betray his family and race? Full summary inside. Complete!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 39 - Words: 52,590 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 11-12-09 - Published: 9-9-09 - Eragon S. & Murtagh - Complete
27. War reviews
The last words Harry spoke to his love before he fought Voldemort for the last time. HP/LL. Drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 126 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-9-09 - Harry P. & Luna L. - Complete
28. Draco Malfoy and the Demon Cat » reviews
Draco has always hated cats. He didn't know why, maybe because they reminded him too much of himself. But when his beloved wife and daughter bring one home, how can he refuse? Phoenix Files collection of cat themed one-shots. A/U. Complete for now.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-22-09 - Published: 6-30-09 - Draco M. - Complete
29. Return » reviews
Phoenix has kept a secret for thirteen years. Now, it's come back and Ian has to deal with it. Ouch. Second Phoenix Files story. A/U Book 6. R&R! DM/GW
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,701 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 8-22-09 - Published: 5-9-09 - Draco M. & Ginny W. - Complete
30. Rogue: A Shadeslayer Story »
We all know how Dail grew up, the elfish princess, loved by the Riders. But what about her mate, Caleb? What events made him the man he is today? This is the story of the rogue half-breed.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 16,567 - Published: 8-22-09 - Eragon S. - Complete
31. Aiedail Shadeslayer » reviews
Eragon's daughter, Aiedail, has followed in her father's footsteps and become a Dragon Rider. She and her best friend, Caleb, have had several adventures together. They are about to have their biggest adventure yet when a Shade appears in Alagaesia.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 45 - Words: 59,968 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 8-22-09 - Published: 6-2-07 - Eragon S. & Arya - Complete
32. Light's Out! reviews
And finally, the last story I wrote for the Murtagh Movie Quote Challenge. Ta-Da!
Crossover - Star Wars & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 686 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-22-09 - Arya - Complete
33. No, He's My Brother! reviews
Another Murtagh Movie Quote. LOL, I hope ya'll are enjoying them!
Crossover - Star Wars & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 709 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-22-09 - Arya - Complete
34. Murtagh, I Am reviews
Another One-shot for the Murtagh Movie Quote Challenge. :D
Crossover - Star Wars & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-22-09 - Murtagh - Complete
35. Wind reviews
A One shot I wrote for the Halloween Haunting Challenge at SFF.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 951 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-22-09 - Eragon S. & Arya - Complete
36. Crossing the Bridge of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! reviews
I was inspired by the Murtagh Movie Quote Challenge on Shur'tugal Fan Fiction to write this story, because they wouldn't let me use Monty Python as a quote referance. Enjoy!
Crossover - Monty Python & Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-22-09 - Eragon S. - Complete
37. Son of Deception » reviews
Kiernan Saetan Daemon Sadi. Red Jewelled Warlord Prince of Hayll, Terreille. When he finds himself attracted to one woman, what will he do about his daughter and lover? Book 2 of the Children of Witch.
Black Jewels Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,204 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-23-09 - Published: 7-10-08 - Complete
38. Enemies Through Time » reviews
Draco and Ginny work NYPD Homicide. True to generations of wizards, they clash again and again as they are forced to work together. Can eternal enemies find common ground when all that they've built is threatened? Summary inside! Complete! A/U Bk 6 DM/GW
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 36,722 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 5-1-09 - Published: 2-9-09 - Draco M. & Ginny W. - Complete
39. The Perils of Eggs reviews
Ginny comes over to Ron and Hermione's house for breakfast...or is it pukefast? Oneshot, just a little something I thought of while working on Murder Squad. Enjoy! Canon, WOW, that's first from me.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-2-09 - Published: 11-6-08 - Ginny W. & Hermione G. - Complete
40. Somethings Are Stronger Than Blood reviews
Surreal has gotten over Falonar and taken a new lover. When he abandons her, Surreal flees to Terreille to consider her situation. Five months later, someone appears on her doorstep, the one person she had hoped not to see anytime soon. One shot for CoW!
Black Jewels Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,407 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7-27-08 - Surreal & Rainier - Complete
41. Child of Witch » reviews
Tersa Rose Sadi. Daughter of Witch. Black Jeweled Healer, Queen, Black Widow. Troublemaker. Passionate Lover. Her life is perfect, until it is shattered by an accident.
Black Jewels Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,796 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 7-26-08 - Published: 10-10-07 - Complete
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