First Name Serena

Last Name- N.O.Y.B!

I'm 14, brown hair, black eyes, and ALMOST 5' 4'' tall. I'm like a half an inch off, so it doesn't really matter. I abhor the Twilight series, so feel free to read my Twilight story where I really just make fun of it. I like Jane Austen, but I find her books find of incomplete. The Bronte sisters are my alter egos, so watch out for that...

I ADORE J.K Rowling, she is my absolute hero and she's just totally awesome. It's a no brainer then, that I like Harry Potter as well. I LOVE Harry Potter books! I love them so frickin much it isn't even FRICKIN funny anymore. My favorite character is Luna Lovegood, closely followed by CEDRIC DIGGORY!

CEDRIC DIGGORY IS THE FRICKIN HOTTEST FICTIONAL CHARACTER TO EVER FRICKIN WALK THE EARTH... or not walk the earth, since he's fictional... But whatever. I love Cedric! And Rob Pattison's sorta cute too. But I love Cedric!

Best Friends- Uchiha Ichigo123 and Elleli

Likes- ANIME/MANGA! (That's some good stuff there!) Cats, flowers, rain, summer, cute shoes, black hair (I wish I had black hair) drawing, reading, writing, my coolio friends, CEDRIC!!, cake, kids, all things Japanese (Harajuku!), historical fiction books, music, (TOKIO HOTEL!) and shopping!

Dislikes- School, winter, snow, cold weather, unoriginal fanfics, jocky boys, homophobes, racists, sexists, pushy-over-the-top religious people who force their religion on other people, doing the dishes, how there are wars going on, and eels.

Places I Want To Go- Japan, duh, and I also want to go to Cambodia because you can ride on top of trains there. I want to go hiking in South Korea, and then go to Bolivia to see cactuses. Doesn't that suck so much? I've never even seen a real, actual desert cactus!

Fav Books:

-Harry Potter (1-7)

-Gone With The Wind

-Girl, 15, Charming But Insane

-A Great and Terrible Beauty/Rebel Angels/The Sweet, Far Thing

-Blue is for Nightmares/White is for Magic/Silver is for Secrets

-The Scarlet Letter

- Jane Eyre (or anything else by Charlotte Bronte--one of my alter egos)

-Wuthering Heights (Heathcliff is my lover!)

-Fever 1793

-Samurai Shortstop

-Northanger Abby (or anything else by Jane Austen)

-The Outsiders

-Maximum Ride (1-4)

-When Will This Cruel War Be Over?

-A Line in the Sand

-A Coal Miner's Bride

As you can see, I am a historical fiction junkie, and I glutton over it like a fat man having his last meal (ha!) and would die without it. I'm not that much into fantasy, but it's ok.

And now, it is time for my Mega Ultra Jumbo List on Why the Entire Twilight Series Is Lame As Hell:

Reason 1: Bella is a backbone-less, pathetic main character who probably put feminism back another ten years.

Reason 2: Edward has ZERO personality. And is too perfect. A good relationship is knowing each other's flaws but also being able to see past them. One problem with Edward and Bella's PERFECT relationship: Edward has no flaws.

Reason 3: Very cliché. A girl falls in love with a vampire. Hmmm, now where have I heard THAT ONE before? (insert sarcasm)

Reason 4: Jacob deserves better. Period.

Reason 5: The writing isn't even any good. She doesn't use words in a good way. I find the whole series insensible.

Reason 6: When she's not being backbone-less and pathetic, Bella is a SNOB, with a capital S, okay? She's got three guys in love with her throughout the whole series! That is so unrealistic and think that it is likely wishful thinking on Stephanie Meyer's part.

Reason 7: Bella doesn't even act like a normal 17 or 18 year old girl! She acts more like she's 45 and it makes the story SO BORING. Okay, we are all going to have to be 45 eventually, but until then... Kinda get it?

Reason 8: I think that Stephanie Meyer got the idea for Bella to have a little half-vampire baby on fanfiction. I really do. And if she is reading some of the total garbage that we write on this website (I admit that) and actually taking it seriously... that's just weird.

Reason 9: Reneesmee. Or whatever the hell it was. Only Bella Swann would stick someone with a name like that. Imagine if that was YOUR name. Would you like that? Imagine how many times you would have to spell that for EVERYONE you met! No one would be able to pronounce it written either. That name is just a headache.

Reason 10: Bella is a horrid name, too.

Reason 11: The titles don't really make much sense. Only the SECOND time you read them, I think. The covers don't make sense either. It's just kind of annoying, but not the biggest reason why I don't like them.

Reason 12: Bella isn't interested in anything. Except Edward. She doesn't play sports, she doesn't have any hobby... she's just like a pillow without stuffing in it. She is nothing. Nothing without Edward, and like I said... PATHETIC!

Reason 13: Bella has no friends. She just sits around wondering why people hate her, and honestly if I went to Forks High School, I would be Lauren's best friend and hate Bella with her.

Reason 14: Bella has no ambition. She never says, "Uh, I always wanted to be a police officer like my dad." Or anything like it. No dreams, no ambition, she is just. So. BORING! Any other sort of person would be like, "Edward it's over--I want a life." I can't respect her for who she is.

Reason 15: Bella thinks that riding motor bikes is dangerous. Holy crap, is that HONESTLY the best she can come up with, when she went through her stupid little "dangerous" phase? People motor bike all the time, and yeah, the accidents do happen, but it still isn't that bad.

Reason 16: Why DOESN'T she take a crowbar to Jacob's face, like any SELF-RESPECTING woman would have? (As much as I love Jacob.)

Reason 17: Bella is FAR too attached to her parents.

Reason 18: Bella really should be a punk or goth. A really tough girl. Make the series way better.

Reason 19: Bella ought to have short hair too.

Reason 20: Bella's clothes suck. She should wear jeans and shitty tennis shoes like the rest of us, high schoolers. What makes her think she's better?

Reason 21: Bella is an unrealistic character because I've never met a seventeen year old girl who DOESN'T like shopping and DOESN'T wear make-up. Stephanie Meyer ought to make her a 45 year old, and then I would have many less complaints.

Reason 22: Bella never does ANYTHING bad. Like drink, or smoke, or pot. Everyone does, okay? At least once.

Reason 23: Bella being clumsy pisses me off. Stephanie Meyer kind of wanted to make Bella a cute, little, clumsy girl. That might not be her reasoning, but that is what it sounds like. Get a grip, Bella.

Reason 24: Bella is 110 pounds. Is Stephanie Meyer 110 pounds? Sounds like some more wishful thinking...

Reason 25: Bella should side with the werewolves.

Reason 26: Leah Clearwater was cheated of her happy ending. Am I the only one here who thinks that it should have been Leah and Jacob together in the end? Then stupid Reneesmee, or whatever the hell it was, comes along and sort of ruins that for me...

Reason 27: Leah Clearwater is 100 times better than Bella, and ought to be the main character instead.

Reason 28: We all wanted to throw New Moon across the room when Bella went into a coma practically over Edward leaving her. Once again: Get a grip, Bella.

Reason 29: Bella is a weak.

Reason 30: Bella is still weak even once she's a vampire, and I think that it is SO random how Bella doesn't get all bloodthirsty like the rest of them, just because it was more convenient for Stephanie Meyer that way.

I could probably think of more, but I'll just stop there. You all must admit that I have a right to hate the series now--I mean, THIRTY reasons! That's quite a lot of reasons, okay? So if you PM me with crap about how I'm a used tampon because I don't like Twilight I am probably just going to ignore it. I don't care if people like the books, I just don't.

I also hate all of those "copy this on to your profile" things. Well... there is only one of them worthwhile (this one I made up myself)

If you think that Edward Cullen from Twilight is a used tampon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Hate is not smiled upon, but neither is Bella Swann. If you hate Bella Swann, join the Bella Haters of the Universe today! Message me here on fanfiction, or on myspace, and you're in the club!

My myspace for the club is: www.myspace.com/hatebellaswannforever.

Just add it as a friend, and you'll be in! Also, copy and paste:

Hate is not smiled upon, but neither is Bella Swann. If you hate Bella Swann, join the Bella Haters of the Universe today! (www.myspace.com.hatebellaswanforever)

When people don't update, they always use the excuse, "I have a life, ya know..." And I just think, yeah, I have a life too. And writing IS that life, so don't mess...

Now I have just one message to end with: FREE TIBET!! (http: www. tibet .org) Ya, just ignore the spaces.