Update!!

I...I am a bad person. I deleted some of my old stories (because, frankly, they sucked) and added a new one. A crossover. A HP/Naruto crossover. I am such a fanfiction whore.

On a side note, you should totally go read it, because you, as the viewer, are awesome like that. :D

Name: taida.

Age: Infinite is a sideways 8, right?

Height: 5' 3''...fun-sized...

Weight: Erm...why exactly do you need to know this again?

Interests: Ducks, mushrooms, flawed things, wooden spoons, dresses, application forms, the taste of blood, bamboo, storms, the idea of immortality, wind. Or, some people just call it random. Whatever floats your raft, or whatever.

My All-Time Fave-licious Stories

Curse of Fate

Summary: Harry is a many-thousands of years old vampire with a wicked sense of humor. He travels back in time and converts large portions of death eaters to his side. Oh, and makes Lucius his consort. Hell yeah. (Beware; epic in length.) Rated M.

One Look Only

Summary: It's a freakin' JacobxHarry. Jacob is sent to pick up Harry, who was expelled from Hogwarts, from the airport. And things happen. And stuff. And it is, like, so awesome it's almost unbearable. Seriously. This is probably one of my top three most favoritest stories eva. READ, NOW. Rated T.

Bloody Skies

Summary: Ok, the plot may seem boring at first, but once you get to Harry's new school, it starts seriously rocking. The best 'Harry goes to another school other than Hogwarts' fic I have ever read. The OC's at Shikaan (the school) are complex, original, and sooooo freaking hilarious! Features student and teacher vampires, werewolves, demons, and Necromancer!Harry. TOTALLY M RATED. AND AWESOME. YES.

Darkest Hour

Summary: Lily and James are alive, and James is completely ashamed of his six-year old son Harry, who is a squib. Fortunately for the readers, Tom thinks differently and is determined to bring out Harry's magic by force. An adorable TomxHarry fic, with lots of sweet moments and a still realistically evil Voldemort, who you can't help but love. And a motherly Nagini, who is made of awesome snake-ness. Rated T.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Summary: Features a genius Harry who cheats the school system to avoid punishment from Vernon for higher scores than Dudley. Very complex, and almost suspenseful. Harry is a mastermind in the making, and is joined by Petunia in regards to plotting. Really amazing plotline, actually. Rated T.

Emerald Twilight

Summary: The most amazing Twilight crossover I have yet to find. EC/HP, as written in Twilight FF-speak. Non-magical, with a somewhat predictable beginning, but the author does such an amazing job keeping it flowing!! Absolutely stunning, seriously, with a totally lovable daddy-James and a sweets-addicted, completely gorgeous Harry. The author published the sequel, Emerald Moon, and kept it up for a bit, but took it down for rewriting. I can barely freaking wait for her to put it up again. Rated M, featuring several seriously sexy, sweet, well-timed (but not too graphic) lemons.

Necromancers Anonymous

Summary: YES! Iza has published an A/N stating that she's back in the game!! Okay, so baby Harry is lovable and cute and freaking adorable, and raises the dead on a daily basis. This is so, so funny, and it's one of those painful-to-read-because-of-laughter fics. Accordng to her (The Iza's) summary, there will also be a Harry/Voldemort pairing, which just makes me want to dance in glee. Rated T.

Te Funny

"Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but hundreds of people trying to find it each year get killed by lightening." -Mistress Dragonflame

"Where am I going, and why am I in this hand basket?" -Mistress Dragonflame

"When life gives you lemons, start typing and post as soon as possible." -Me

"When life gives you lemons, use the juice to bleach your mustache." -Ellen DeGeneres

"If you ever want to know something about someone, ask a female." -A New Chance Continued

"Once is bad luck, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action." -Partially Kissed Hero

"Foot-washing Baptists say that pleasure is sin. If that's true, then I've been fucking Lucifer without even realizing it." -Me, after being forced to learn about the Baptists

"According to the laws of aerodynamics the bumble bee cannot fly. I guess no one bothered to tell the bee." -sephora85

"The difference between a prejudice and a conviction is that you can explain a conviction without getting angry." -sephora85

"God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates men, men destroy God, men create dinosaurs...dinosaurs eat men...women inherit the earth." - Jurassic Park.

"We gays really do love women; we just don't want to have sex with them." -Unknown

"He he. Hang on... I’m thinking the words for a giggle, rather than just giggling? Oh, lordy, what did I drink in the hospital wing? I blame Pomfrey, using Snape’s potions. Snort. Oh, god, I’m doing it again. He tried snorting, and found his nose stubbornly refusing. I’m broken. Oh, when I get through with the creator, we’ll be having words..." -A conversation Harry is having with himself in Harry Potter and the Quantem Leap. It was just to funny to pass up.

"Let's make like a shepherd, and get the flock out of here." -Harry Potter and the Quantem Leap

"There is no such nonsense as life being 'fair' or 'unfair'. It simply is, and that's all there is to it." -Me

"Tact? What use is tact? It's just lies wrapped up in a pretty package. Besides, no one ever looks at the wrapping paper anyway." -Me, paraphrasing from Sinister Relations

"Nobody notices what I do until I don't do it." -Some sort of catalog, I think...

"The man who says it can't be done should shut up and not interrupt the woman doing it." -Me

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." -A Pirate's Life For Me

Thoughts on Gay Marriage!

1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and liposuction.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Have PRIDE! Support Gay Marriage!

This was stolen off of the wonderful EmpyrealFantasy's profile.