About Me...

My name is Bethany and I am 15.

I'm about average height, or a little shorter. I plain brown hair that I want to dye red(ya know, so I can run around chasing a brown headed girl and die at the hand of Edward). I have green eyes and I am very, very, very eccentric!

I am currently writing a book with my friend that I hope to publish someday. So that means I will force you to buy it.

I live with my three brothers, my seven dogs, my mom and when my dad is home from Iraq, him too.

I love to read, my favorite books are Twilight, and 1800's style love stories. Cheesy I know, but who asked you?

I get upset -pissed- when you mess with little kids around me, and am not above punching you in the face, just a warning.

I like guys who are mysterious, smart, love kids, have a car, have a job, and are tall and good looking and strong enough to lift me without really feeling the burn. I don't know why I'm telling you this, so just deal with it.

Favorite Quotes...

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." -The Princess Bride

"Did you just stomp you foot? I thought only girls in movies stomped their feet."

"Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cook supper, and there would have been peace on earth..."

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers."

"Insanity is my only means of relaxation."

Palm reader: "-gasp- You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

"In a world of nonsence, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it would be, was."

"You have one advantage over. You can kiss my ass, and I can't."

"Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it..."

"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now..."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

"Have you ever wondered if this world is another world's hell?"

My friends and I talking...

"Beth, when you laugh I laugh, when you cry, I cry. Even when you hurt, I hurt. But when you jump off a bridge, I laugh at you and get a paddle boat to save your stupid ass!"

"I'm sorry B, but when you cry, I cry. When you laugh I laugh. When you slip and fall off the sidewalk, onto a muddy hill and slide down that, landing in a very deep puddle in the middle of January, I laugh harder."

"Hey Beth! Remember yesterday when you got d-hall, because you started laughing hysterically because of a joke you were told 2 weeks ago, and you just got it?"

ME WHEN I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO-"What would happen if you cut off Jacob Black's foot?..."

Me- I can't find my cell phone...

Livey- WHAT?!

Me- I can't find my cell phone?

Livey- OH!! I thought you just said 'I'm in love with your cousin!!"

Me- How did we become friends?

Me- I'm so sorry guys!!

Everyone sitting next to me at the time- What happened?!

Me- I just realized you guys used to be normal.

Everyone sitting next to me at the time- OK...

Me- And then you started to hang out with me, and I turned you into freaks...

Me- Hey Catilyn

Catilyn- Hey remember that time you stayed the night at my house?

Me- Yeah!! And we watched the OMEN!!

Catilyn- And in the middle of the night we were laughing hysterically because the nanny got ran over!!

Me- And she was holding the ax and screaming!!

Catilyn- And when she was hit she flipped a few times and then landed off somewhere!!

Me- And the whole time she was flipping she was making that really weird scream!!

We both start making that scream

Teacher- Yeah and then Damian lived and was holding hands with the president!!

Catilyn and I look at each other and burst out laughing so hard that the end result is a twin pair of D-Hall tickets...

Friend- If the first grape you eat is bitter, then you won't bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one, then you are willing to search through all the bitter grapes until you find another sweet one.

Me- Where the hell did that come from?

Friend- What fuck are you asking me for? How should I know?

Me- I got grounded again...

Steph- What did you do this time?

Me- I didn't do my chores...No! That was last time! I called Derrick a freak! No that's not right either... I hit Joshua? No... Justin! I hit him!! NO!! What did I do?!

Steph- Did you forget your house key somewhere?

Me- Yes!! That was it!!

JESS- Well, there's this cat hanging around my house. My sister is afaid of it...

ME- Why...

JESS- Ok, so, it only has three legs and when she first saw it she freaked.

ME- That's so sad! Poor kitty!

JESS- Yeah. It has three legs and then a little stub that wiggles when he walks.

ME (thinking of my mom's dog that has a stubby tail that wiggles and begins laughing)

JESS- OH KATIE! IT'S OKAY! IT GETS BY JUST FINE!!

ME- Jess!! I'm laughing because the mental picture of the thing is a cat walking around with three normal legs and a Toby tail leg wiggling!!

My favorite questions...

What is the speed of dark?

Why do they sterilize the needle for leathal injections?

Do coffins have lifetime garintees?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearange the letters in mother in law, you get the words, 'Woman Hitler?'

If heat rises, shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is it when we're talking to God, we're praying, but whenever God talks to us, we're crazy?

If a cow laughs hard enough, does milk come out of it's nose?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it concidered a hostage sittuation?

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.