Hello. This is Phantom speaking.

First off, I would like to apologize to all of my readers and reviewers. I have abandoned (gone Hiatus, forgotten, completely deserted) my one and only story with two chapters (pathetic). Yes, I am a retard. Yes, I am lower than the scum on the bottom of your shoe. Yes, I am a vile, filthy, loathsome creature.

Forgive me?

I am really sorry for discontinuing my Alchemy Is A Science. If anyone is interested in taking control of it, please PM me.

I have not given up writing altogether, just forgot about fanfiction. I am currently working on an original story, so there may not be any fanfiction for a while (there hasn't). Sorry. It might (might might might) change, because I have recently gotten hooked on Death Note. Great plotline and many potential yaoi pairings -gigglenosebleedblush- Favorites are Matt/Mello (Sis Boom Bah Baby) and L/Light. The latter I wasn't actually interested in, but after many well-written stories centering that pairing, I just had to read.

Fun Facts for the species Phantomous Piesus.

- I find the general populace of humanity to be quite dull. There is no one in my life that I can converse intelligently with. Of course, I had my friends. But note the past tense. Had. ( I am residing in Beijing, China temporarily. Dad's business thing.) Sure, my brother is fun if I want to argue or fight with, but converse intelligently? No. If it wasn't for the internet I would have thrown myself of a cliff already.

- I do not believe in true love. No, I am not a dorky nerd that has been rejected by every girl he was crushing on. I do not hold a grudge on an ex ( I don't have one. Or a significant other for that). My reasons backing my disbelief of true love are that since there are no perfect humans, there is no such thing as perfect love. Heh.

- I am agnostic. I believe in an omnipotent figure, such as God, and an afterlife, such as Heaven and Hell. Or Reincarnation. That would be cool. Anyway, I used to be Christian before I realized that some of the major Christian beliefs were that Gay = Wrong and Women = Slave Of Men. So, whoop de doop, here I am. Unfaithful and all that.

- I have no idea what my sexual interest is. Seriously. I do not like men because they think with a certain other body part rather than their brain when choosing a girlfriend. I do not women because, no matter what the feminists say, they are just as annoying as men. Females are too soft. Teenage girls are overly dramatic, with love being first on their mind than anything else. Airheads. Teenage boys are too horny to think straight. So, asexual? Perhaps. Yes, I realize I am probably being a little stereotypical here.

- I find the position L sits in terribly comfortable, even though it's bad posture. But because I know I am not an undercover genius detective, that is the only similarity between him and I. Oh, I also enjoy sweets.

- I think "Love Me Dead" by Ludo is one of the most meaningful songs in the world. Perhaps my philosophy is twisted, or I am overly theorizing the hidden message of the lyric "Fill my soul with vomit and then ask me for a piece of gum." Perhaps.

- I am possibly a little narcissistic. I do not think I am Ugly Stepsister ugly, but not Super Model Hot either. I look in the mirror and like what I see. Narcissism? Tell me what you think.

- I find the Monty Hall Problem fascinating. Here is the Scenario:

You are on a game show. There are three doors. One of them holds a car, the prize, and the other two hold goats, fake prizes. You pick a door, but before the Host opens that door, he opens another door, showing you a goat, because he doesn't want you to win the car. Say you pick Door 1, and the Host opens Door 3, revealing a goat. Assuming you want to win the car, which choice gives you a higher chance of winning the car, swapping to pick Door 2 or staying with Door 1? Or does is even matter?

PM me to tell me your theories. I am interested in hearing them.

- I am going through a slump when it's with art. Everything I've been trying to draw comes out looking like a Picasso; off-center nose, drifting eyes, and other anatomy mistakes. Over all, it looks like a person who is going through an awkward stage. Painter Essentials 4 freezes whenever I try to open it and do something digital with my tablet. I am pretty damn depressed over my art.

- Donuts here in China suck. And not in a good way or perverted way. In a OhMyGodIamGoingToVomit way.

- i lyk ttly h8t chatsp3k. its rlly annoying. so srry if u use it cuz ill KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. WITH A DICTIONARY AND AN ENGLISH TEXTBOOK.

- Most of my ideas come to me when I'm doing Free-Association. Must be something in the therapist's room's air. Huh. (You can decide for yourself if I'm kidding or not.)

- I have never watched any movies rated M or above, although I find the plots for movies like Seven and Silence of the Lambs pretty darn fascinating. If only I had could stomach the violence then I think I could enjoy a movie like that.

Quotes

"'I feel as if I drank dirt'

'But dirt is not this sweet.'

'Sweet Dirt...'" ...Naomi Misora and Beyond Birthday in Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Cases.

"Two weird people sitting weirdly explaing weird bits of deduction was, Misora worried, a scene of overwhelming weirdosity." ...Naomi Misora in Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Cases.

"When I start working, I get a craving for sweets. If I want to work well, jam is essential. Sugar is good for the brain." ...Beyond Birthday in Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Cases.

"Kill me romantically,

Fill my soul with vomit then ask me for a piece of gum,

Bitter and Dumb, You're My Sugarplum." ...Love Me Dead by Ludo.

"You're Awful, I love you! You're Hideous, and Sexy!" ...Love Me Dead by Ludo.

"He's still the sort of Robin Hood of killers. He kills the - what do they call them? The terminally rude." ...Anthony Hopkins.

"It's the Bible - You get credit for trying!" ...Pirates of the Carribean Dead Man's Chest

And that's about it, really. Thanks for reading/wasting away your time on my profile.

-Phantom