Welcome.

My name is Wolfalona. I am the Music of Shadows

And this is my lair.

I am XXY years old, and I favor four types of fanfiction: Scooby Doo, Monty Python, Phantom of the Opera, and a couple others. My favorite pairings are Shaggy/Velma for SD, Erik and Christine for Phantom of the Opera, and the usual canon pairings for most things Tim Burton.

Favorite Movie is: Phantom of the Opera (Schumacher's version)

My other favorite movies are: Corpse Bride, Nightmare Before Christmas, 300, RocknRolla, Repo! the Genetic Opera, Gamer, Silence of the Lambs, Gosford Park, Dear Frankie, Dracula 2000, and Hello Dolly!.

My favorite tv shows are: Whose Line is it Anyway, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Family Guy, Monty Python's Flying Circus, and CSI: New York.

And now for the wisest speech you shall ever see, hear, or read in your entire lifetime from a writer called Random-Battery. And it is entirely about muffins. Enjoy.

“Someone asks me about the significance of the muffins, and I feel compelled to answer them in the most truthful manner possible, considering that I am not a truthful person, at least, not when it comes to muffins— however, truthfully, the muffins are often used as a metaphor for life, with the lemon poppyseed-ness of them a counterpoint to the ickiness that Leroux Erik was musing on in the first chapter of my phic, perhaps you’ve heard of it, its called “Whose Lair Is It Anyway” and it stars all the Eriks you’ve ever heard of. Returning to the subject at hand, ie, muffins, the fact that they are lemon poppyseed also points to my general dissatisfaction with and disappointment in life, because really I much prefer blueberry. However, this is not the single and only cosmic significance of the muffins. They are also manifestations of the spirits of stage-Phantoms that have passed beyond— as well as a metaphor for sex. I’m not quite sure why, except that an awful lot of things are a metaphor for sex, and I suppose I like to jump on the bandwagon as much as everyone else, which I guess is why we have that saying in the first place, and seeing as I don’t have a boyfriend, sometimes muffins are the only option. I mean, I could try chocolate, but I like muffins better. This may render me unusual, but a lot of things do, and so it wouldn’t be unusual if it made you think I was unusual, and anyway I happen to like the word unusual, and I don’t see what’s wrong with using it a few times in a sentence, though of course I’d throw a fit if anyone else did it. Other than that, the muffins are made by my mother, and she burnt them when I was a child, leaving me forever scarred and muffin-phobic, or muffin-aholic, whichever is funnier. And, because everything has a prosaic meaning, the muffins are breakfast. And, occasionally, lunch. Please don’t worry about the muffins— my insanity only affects myself.”

And now...

One of the best quotes that I've ever read. Also from Random-Battery and her story 'Whose Lair is it Anyway?' I encourage you to read it, it's a hoot and a half. Poor owls that got cut in half for it, though. Oh well.

“The voices of the Eriks—” said Streight, and cleared his throat. “Gerry Phantom’s voice is chocolate— Crawford Phantom’s voice is starlight— Kay Erik sings as seductively as the devil— and it is Leroux Erik, the true Erik, who sings like an angel. His voice alone truly inspires.

Stalker Erik? He’s pretty good too.”

And yet again, now...

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or MySpace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

I'm insane! No I'm not!

KILL THE SQUIRRELS!

And Now...

Copies and Pasties!

If you've ever lost someone (dogs and hamsters count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone...

If you've ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason at all whatsoever...

If you're friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you)...

copy THIS into your profile!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you all ready have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to yor profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

"I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones."

"Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs."

"The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy."

"I'm not clumsy, I'm gravatationally challanged."

"There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, the seas sleep, the rivers dream, people are made up of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's injustice, somewhere there's danger and somewhere else the tea's getting cold."

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you."

"My imaginary friend thinks you have issues."

"If you love someone set them free! If they don't come back, hunt them down and kill them."

"How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?"

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."

"I don't suffer from insanty...I enjoy every minute of it!"

"The true meaning of a patriot is one who is willing to protect their country from their government."

"Writing is easy! You just sit infront of a piece of paper and sweat blood!

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives."

"Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried it."

"There is no indignity in being afraid to die. But the shame of being afraid to live is terrible."

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."

"A clear conscience is usually the first sign of memory loss."

"Your theory's crazy, but not crazy enough to work."

"I hear voices in my head, but it's okay. Most of them are pretty nice."

"Men are like Kleenex; soft, strong, and disposable."

"Safety first! Buckle your seat belts and prepare for an accident!"

"If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."

"How can I stand idly by as men are taught to apologize for weakness and women are taught to apologize for strength?"

"Even I don't trust my better judgement. What's that say to you?"

"If my enemies saw me walk across the Thames, they'd say it was because I couldn't swim."

"I know the traffic signals by heart; green means go, yellow means speed up, and red means check for cops."

"Eagles soar, but weasels don't get sucked into airplane engines."

"You have enemies? Good, because that means you've stood for something sometime in your life."

"Most people learn by observation, A few learn by experimentation, And then there are those like me who actually touch the fire to to see if it's hot."

"If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?"

"Go to heaven for the view; go to hell for the company."

"Real girls aren't perfect and perfect girls aren't real."

"Death is life's way of telling you that you're fired."

"Beer: Helping People Have Sex Since 1865."

"Girls kick ass. Says so on the t-shirt."

"The only infinite things are the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the first one."

"You spend the first two years of your childs life teaching them to walk and talk, then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up."

"When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but I won't tolerate when they raise it up to their ear to make sure it's still working."

"The real proof that there's intelligent life out there is because they've never tried to contact us."

"Some people are like slinkies; useless, but entertaining to watch as they fall down stairs."

"Whoever says nothing's impossible should try nailing jello to a tree."

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile (what comes after two?)

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!!)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalon

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Vampiress19, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese,Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalona

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalona

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and/or are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (Mine talk to me all the time...they tell me to eat cheese and kill mooses. Or is it meeses? I don't remem--oh wait...they tell me it's moosi, so they must be right! Oh well.)

FAMOUS LAST WORDS: That's funny, I remember seeing someone who looked just like you on America's Most Wanted

()_() ('')_('')
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) MHAHAHAHAH!!

If you easily finish reading one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you randomly sing this part of Umbrella, copy and paste this into your profile and write your name down:"Under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, ehe, under my umbrella, ella, ehe, ehe, ehe , ehe," Mystical Pearl, MaxWing,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile and write your name: MysticalPearl, MaxWing,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalon

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. (Teeheehee)

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a crush on somebody, but you are afraid to say anything about it, then copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Don't worry, your secret is safe! Greenpool's loyalty, Sparrowflight, Sapphirepaw (My friend told him the second to last day of school!), sk8trchickmax,Sammi, Nukagirl, M. Night Wolfalona

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. ;P

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

Most authors on FanFiction dot net don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you DO know the difference, and are sick of finding "your" instead of "you're", copy and paste this into your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

98 PERCENT OF THE TEENAGE POPULATION DRINKS OR HAS BEEN AROUND ALCOHOL.
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU LIKE BAGELS

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you only know a few words to, and then gotten so fed up that you looked the lyrics up online just so that you could have something else stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting stuff into one's profile is completely pointless, yet do it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coco Puffs bird should blow up for going Cucuo for Coco Puffs, copy and paste this in your profile

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong. If you are too, copy & paste this into your profile.

"You laugh at me because I'm different, but I laugh at you because you're all the same."

If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children that dragons can be killed."- G.K. Chesterton

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever walked into a window, copy this onto your profile (you don't wanna hear that story)

if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given momet, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family ect. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think people labeling other people (i.e. Goth, prep) is just freaking stupid, copy paste this into your profile.

If you think plagiarism is a stupid, pointless crime, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list: PhantomInvader, Grogie13, Wolfy the Ironic Ninja

If you realize that this ain't a scene, it's an arms race, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

Ones that apply to me are Bolded:

I'm EMO (-ish), so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMAICAN so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I (WANT TO) DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I hang out with TEEN DRINKERS/SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I'm CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST hate gay people.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social (I actually am, so...yeah)

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over-controlling and a bitch.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm a TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse. (But in Houston, we ride rockets to school instead because of the NASA space program nearby)

I’m a GOTH (-ish), so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.

I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUN HAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and a MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.

I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.

I'm NOT EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god in the same extremist devoted Amish ways you do.

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports.

I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work

I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.

I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame

I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.

I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.

I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.

I am a HOUSEWIFE, so I MUST have no self respect.

I consider myself 'NORMAL', so I MUST be boring.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippie.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall, blonde, blue-eyed lesbian.

I like READING, so I MUST be a Loner.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be white.

I SPOT AND CORRECT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC-LOOKING, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENAISSANCE FAIRS, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY, so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t HAVE a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT A DEVOTED CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting.

I love MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I do BALLET, so I MUST be girly, like the colour pink, and hate tomboys.

I like to listen to CHRISTIAN MUSIC, so I MUST hate metal rock and people who listen to it.

I'm a FIGURE SKATER, so I MUST like pretty dresses, classic music, hate eating and is a sissy.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except read.

I don't agree with CONFORMING, so I MUST act all freaky and be loud.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST like to talk about crushes, dolls, not getting dirty, and parties.

I never have a CRUSH on a guy (/girl), so I MUST be lesbian (/gay).

I don't DROOL over a lot of BISHIES, so I MUST be a lezzy.

I don't believe in DATING TOO SOON, so I MUST hate people who date.

I don't like YAOI/YURI so I MUST be a homophobe.

I like Kingdom Hearts, so I MUST fangirl(/fanboy) over Riku(/Kairi).

I DON'T want to date until I reach driving age, so I MUST be brainwashed by my parents.

I'm a PRETEEN, so I MUST want to have a boyfriend(/girlfriend) already.

I'm FEMALE, so I MUST have long hair.

I don't STUDY much but still get STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST be cheating.

I'm WELL-TO-DO, so I MUST be snotty.

I'm going to HAWAII FOR CHRISTMAS, so I MUST shove it in everyone's faces.

I don't think VEGETARIANISM makes sense, so I MUST think all vegetarians are hippies.

I have a DEEPISH voice, so I MUST be emo.

I'm easily ANNOYED, so I MUST be bratty.

I'm NULL, so I MUST hate everyone.

I'm a HUMAN, so I MUST be labeled.

I LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC, so I MUST be a rebel.

I'm SLIGHTLY AGNOSTIC, so I MUST treat Christians like crap.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST be a perv.

I'm NOT EMO, so I MUST be a loser.

I get NOSTALGIC, so I MUST be childish.

I'm OKLAHOMAN, so I MUST love rodeos.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love horses.

I'm OKLAHOMAN, so I MUST talk like those people in Western movies.

I'm a SWIMMER, therefore I MUST be a lifeguard.

I'm a LIFEGUARD, therefore I MUST be a slut for preforming mouth-to-mouth CPR.

I'm a GYMNAST, therefore I MUST be a whore.

I'm a MALE GYMNAST, therefore I MUST be gay.

I'm a MALE BALLET DANCER, therefore I MUST be gay.

I don't TALK ABOUT SEX all day, therefore I MUST be stupid.

I'm POLISH, therefore I MUST be an idiot.

I don't buy DESIGNER CLOTHES, therefore I MUST be poor.

My parents are DIVORCED, therefore I MUST be mentally unstable. (Although this is actually true for me)

I grew up with a SMOKER/ALCOHOLIC/DRUG ADDICT, therefore I MUST be one myself.

I think STRING ORCHESTRA is better than band, therefore I MUST be an out-of-date geek.

I'm a COSPLAYER, therefore I MUST love attention, being glomped, and sewing.

I'm a serious CROSSPLAYER, therefore I MUST crossdress in real life and be gay/lesbian.

I'm from CHICAGO/NEW YORK, therefore I MUST own a gun.

I'm from CHICAGO/NEW YORK, therefore I MUST always worry about being shot.

I have a MENTAL disorder, therefore I MUST be stupid.

I lived/grew up with somebody with a MENTAL disorder, therefore I must have problems like theirs.

I've fallen in love with a good FRIEND, therefore I MUST have never only liked them as a friend.

I've fallen in love with a FRIEND of the SAME GENDER, therefore I MUST be a homosexual slut.

I have almost KILLED someone, therefore I MUST be a murderer intent on destroying everyone.

I've almost/have been ARRESTED, therefore I MUST be a desperate, psychotic bitch.

I have had SUICIDAL thoughts, therefore I MUST be emo and depressed.

I have had SUICIDAL thoughts, therefore I MUST be insane and deranged.

And now...

If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are currently trying to take over the world, like me, and want to do away with all promising and sickeningly perfect young heroes who would foil your plans for total world domination, copy this into your profile, and add your name to this list: M. Night Wolfalona.

If you have ever attended the 'Evil Overlord 101' college course, or wanted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, copy this into your profile page.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile page.

"The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy." -The Chibis Are Stalking me

"I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'."

"If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, then we'd see the day when nobody died."

"First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me."

"I know Karate.. And a few other Japanese words!"

"If you choke a smurf, does it turn white?"

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

"I'm a video game-player, so I must be lazy. I'm artistic, so I must be poor and impractical. I'm talented, so I must think little of people who aren't. I'm smart, so I must have no social life. I'm popular, so I must be rude or stupid. I'm a teenager, so I must be stereotyped."

"Don't walk in front of me because I may not follow. Don't walk behind me because I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

"At the end of the game, the king and the pawn are in the same box."

"The first casualty of war is always truth."

"I hear voices in my head, but it's okay. Most of them are pretty nice."

"Safety first! Buckle your seat belts and prepare for an accident!"

"You have enemies? Good, because that means you've stood for something sometime in your life."

"The real proof there's intelligent life out in space is that they've never tried to contact us directly."

"DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT!!"

"Earth is the Insane Asylum for the universe."

"Please don't try to run. We're tired and would prefer to kill you quickly."

It takes a few hundred, maybe a few thousand muscles to frown. But it only takes four to bitchslap the person who made you frown.

And now...

Phantom Copies: (Yes I'm that addicted)

You know you likePhantom when: 1. You spell every word with an 'f' sound with 'ph', usual words include 'phan', 'phanphic', 'phangasm', 'phive' and phantastic'. 2. You have endless discussions about whether Gerard Butler or Michael Crawford make the best Erik. 3. You hav to watch the movies in your bedroom because your family is so sick of watching them. 4. You know every word to every Phantom song. 5. You can't watch Raoul's parts without shouting FOP at the screen. 6. You believe Christine should have gone with Erik, and you believe that Erik should have given up on Christine and gone with you. 7. You have dreams about hitting Raoul over the head with a shovel. 8. You change all of your avatars into ones of Erik/Erik's rose, and make wallpapers of Erik to put on your computer. 9. All your other DVDs gather dust because the only one you watch is Phantom. 10. You buy every version of POTO ever made, book, film etc. no matter how much it costs. If you have some of these symptoms, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have all of these symptoms, I suggest you consult a psychiatrist. (;P)

If you are of the personal opinon that Erik is God's gift to all womankind, copy this into your profile.

A Famous Fanfic Authoress once said: Nintey-eight percent of the people think that Christine should have stayed with the Phantom... and the other two percent who are for Raoul are just plain stupid. (Ok, I don't totally hate the guy...but seriously...he needs a haircut..and its Erik vs Raoul. Please.)

Put this in your profile if you thought that in the 2004 remake movie Raoul was played by a female for any period of time. (OK, I KNEW he was a guy, but my family kept asking me if he was a girl...and frankly I had a hard time explaining...that indeed he was..a guy...maybe its the hair..or more...I'll let you think about that..)

If your kind of guy is tall, dark and mysterious w/bright eyes paste this to your profile. (This screams Erik! ...OK, so more like Gerik...still... -dreamy face-)

If you've ever painted or drew pics of the POTO paste this to your profile.(Yep...mostly movie scenes...mostly masquerade..Alright. So, I like drawing :D..and Hey! Its POTO!)

If you've ever wanted to go to Paris Just to see the Opera Populaire, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: .heart.angel.93, M. Night Wolfalona (Do you know I actually asked?

9--0--9

Note: If you do read my stories, please review. I would like to know that you are here, after all, and not just a figment of my imagination, as the voices in my head often say to me.

／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ

This is a kitty. Enjoy it while you can.

If you copy and paste too much stuff into your profile, copy every single item on this and make it even longer.

That is all.