FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Alicia Kawa Uchiha |
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Author has written 11 stories for Star Wars, and Naruto. Cautiously you step into the dark alleyway, your heart rate speeding up. A single pair of luminous eyes stares at you. Positive that the pale figure awaiting you is the author of the story you are now holding in your hand, you approach her slowly. As your eyes adjust, you see that she is standing beside a desk. On one side are several stories, mostly incomplete, and on the other are numerous drawings. In the center of the desk sit two photos: one of a female dragon demon and the other of a human male. You realize that she must be the author you seek, and that she is also an artist, but you wonder why the photos are there. What significance do those two bear? Those eyes never leave you as you stop in front of her. As you open your mouth to speak, she reaches out to grab you, and you feel fangs pierce your neck. Your eyes snap wide open in panic as you realize what has just happened. Hearing the sound of your blood being sucked in, you hastily wish a last farewell to your loved ones. The vampire pulls her fangs out of your neck and wipes the excess blood off her mouth. Pulling up a chair, she beckons you to come sit with her. "A pleasure to see you," she says. "Make yourself comfortable. Shall I tell you a few things, or would you prefer to skip the blather and read my writings?" Name: Alicia Rivers Age: Immortal Gender: Female (Who the heck would name a boy Alicia?) Species: Vampire (No, I do not sparkle. You Twilighters fail to understand the way of the night clan.) Hair: Brown Eyes: Four Skin: Like the underbelly of a fish Height: So tall, and yet so very very short Weight: Would you like to be a bloody smear on the wall? Residence: With Itachi Nationality: American by birth, pretty much everything by genetics Grade: 12th (Go Class of '10! Woohoo!) Professions: Writer, pairer, anime artist Obsessions: Star Wars, Naruto (currently the only fandoms I'll write for) Hobbies: Writing, drawing, reading, telling jokes, spending time with my computer Dreams: To be a bestselling writer Marital status: Off the market, sorry. Favorite color: Purple Favorite food: Blood, chocolate (particularly Reese's Peanut Butter Cups), sushi, ramen, pocky, pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, hot dogs Weapon of choice: Katana sword, lightsaber, unusually sharp canine teeth, paper fan, logic, bad jokes Religion: I am Roman Catholic, and was raised by devout parents. But I do not wish to discuss it further. I have morals and I follow them, I respect you regardless of what you believe, and the fanfiction pages are not the place to discuss religious, moral, and political topics. My morals do reflect in my writing, however. Personality: Haruhi Suzumiya, Kurenai Yuuhi, Hinata Hyuuga, Kagome Higurashi, Yuuki Cross, Seras Victoria, Yotsuba Koiwai, and Ramona Quimby. All rolled into one. Table of contents Because of the length of my page, I've added a table of contents. That way, if you wish to actually read my page, you can navigate through it and skip the parts you don't like. I'm trying to cut it down, but I have a lot I feel a need to say. It's kind of odd that I don't like to talk much, yet I sometimes ramble on if you get me started. I. My bio II. Table of contents III. Some of my views on writing; rants; my mission statement IV. Links V. Books, movies, shows I like VI. Characters VII. Couples VIII. The Narutard Survey IX. RAPP (Rants About Poor Plotlines) X. Book of quotes (I advise you to skip this unless you wish to be my friend) XI. Last words; my stories I have what's called Asperger's Syndrome, which is something everyone should do research on. It's a large part of why I do what I do and think how I think. I am normally very placid and polite, and often rather shy in public. But, watch out if you provoke me or rub me the wrong way. I can be dangerous. I wouldn't advise you to make me mad, because I can become quite the female dog. Also, I have very strong opinions and I'm not afraid to express them. If you have a problem, do what I do when I'm in such situations: get off my page and be angry in private. My passion for writing probably stems from my love of words and languages. I love using colorful, long, uncommon words, and I am fascinated by etymology, language structure, grammar, and foreign languages. Though English is my first language, I am fluent in French, I want to learn Latin, I'm studying Japanese on my own time (yes, I'm a good little otaku and I actually study my Nihongo), I can write kanji, and, for fun, I'm trying to learn the Mandalorian language. I would study Klingon, except I'm not really into Star Trek. (I love the Tribbles, though... so kawaii!) I'm mainly a romance writer. The love of a man and a woman is just something so profound and beautiful that it's almost magical and hard to fully understand. It is a challenge to capture it in words. Personal experience helps shape what I write, especially regarding romance. I can write a romance better when I myself have someone special in my life who I truly love. However, my stories aren't all mush. A good story needs to have plot and substance, so I do my best to make the plot about more than just the romance. I focus a lot on character development. That's why I like to write in the first person: it forces me to become the character, get to know him or her, and grow and change with him or her. Third person doesn't demand character development as much, and it's far less challenging. Moreover, family love, brotherly love, and friendship are also magical, beautiful things, and they are severely underrated, so I try to give those themes a place in my writings as well. Another large part of my work is the humor. I like to make people laugh, and there's nothing like a funny joke or story to cheer you up. I do not write lemons; they are most often unnecessary and tend to ruin a good romance. Moreover, describing such intimate behavior in great detail feels to me like violating the characters. How would you feel if someone was watching you do that? I was more than overjoyed to come across Fanfiction.net. Heck, I didn't even know other people even did fanfiction until I came here! This place is a dream come true. It's good to know I'm not alone, and that I actually have a place in this world. Well, you know what they say: "Great minds think alike!" Sadly, there are are things on the site and across the Internet in general that really get on my nerves. I will add more as I come across them. Here they are: 1. Flames/Flamers: Constructive criticism is good. Destructive criticism is not. The purpose of FFnet's existence, as I understand it, is to allow fans to imagine and write stories based on someone else's creation without being sued by the creator's lawyers for copyright infringement. Not to set up an account solely to bash on stories or authors. Isn't it odd that flamers talk about how much they hate bad writing, yet instead of seeking out and enjoying good writing, they seem to look for the very stories they claim to hate? Now, there are some people on the site who cannot write to save the world, but they need constructive criticism, not flames. Flaming is not literary criticism and does nothing to help people improve their writing. Even if people are too stupid and full of themselves to listen to concrit, they can always come to realize eventually that it's meant to help them. Putting them down or merely saying their writing is crap without mentioning WHY it's crap and HOW it can be improved does nothing except demoralize them and make them think people just hate them (instead of that their writing is poor), so they'll just keep cranking out crap. Telling someone that they should commit suicide, get raped, or rot in hell because their writing is crap is unnecessary, wrong, and useless. It's even more wrong to say that they deserve those things for writing certain pairings or making OCs. No one should commit suicide, get raped, or rot in hell, not even perverts, jackasses, or trolls. Speaking of trolls, you shouldn't flame them either because that's what they want, even though their writing often merits flames. 2. Purism/elitism: Purism is the belief in strict adherence to canon. Elitism is expecting professional writing skills out of every single writer who uses this site. I hate purism because its message is "You do not have a right to think outside of the creator's box." A lot of purists try to cram the canon (or what they think is canon) down your throat at every turn. In fact, quite the opposite is true. We are limited only by our imagination and the creators' ownership of their own work. Moreover, ALL fanfiction deviates from canon. Pure canon would be nothing more than parroting the creator. And a lot of times, the canon plotline isn't even good! So if we yielded to the wishes of the purists, this site would not exist. You shouldn't write only what other people want. Criticism about improving my writing skills and fixing plot holes I am open to. But when I'm told what pairings to write, what plots to write, what characters to write about, or stuff like that, that's where I draw the line and say "Shut up. You have no right to say what I can and can't do." I run the Alicia Rivers Show and I'll write whatever the damn hell I want to write. I hate elitism because not all writers here are going to be professionals. Granted, many stories need A LOT of work, but elitists' expectations are WAY over the top. If you want perfection, read a damn book. Most people on this site are not professionals and need guidance to improve. The author of the brilliant literary gem "Team 8" is in his thirties. How can you expect a thirteen- or sixteen-year-old to be half as good as a thirty-year-old with years of experience? 3. OOCness: Mild OOCness is excusable - some characters are hard to capture, and I understand that. But I absolutely abhor it when people completely change or ignore the characterization of characters. If you have to ignore who the characters are, what's the point of writing fanfiction? You might as well be writing about original characters in an original work. The point of fanfiction is to explore a world that someone else has created. They have worked hard to create beautiful characters, and it's truly a shame to see those characters warped, twisted, and messed with until they are no longer the characters I know and love (or hate). Please, take into account who these people are before you decide to make them do something! 4. Numerous spelling/grammar/mechanical errors: FFnet's guidelines explicitly say to check your spelling and grammar before you upload. There is no excuse for not doing this. Too many errors make an otherwise good story extremely hard to read, which is very sad. What's even sadder is that a large percentage of FFnet users write on a first-grade writing level. THIS IS A SITE FOR WRITERS! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ AND WRITE, AND USE PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! Your story might be wonderful, but if it looks like a spelling test with a grade of F minus, it's too hard to read. If you're writing in a language other than your own, get a beta reader whose native tongue is that language. I am always willing to serve as a beta. If you're writing in your own language, use spellcheckers-both electronic and human-and get a beta if needed. 5. Yaoi: I could rant on and on for days upon days about how fed up I am with Yaoi. Actually, it's more of a rant on Yaoi fangirls. Specifically, the stupid ones, who pollute some fandoms to the point that it's not even about the actual game or show anymore. (cough-Kingdom Hearts-cough) Smart Yaoi fans exist; some are my friends. But there are just way too many stupid Yaoi fangirls out there, and they are smearing the good reputation of their smart counterparts. No one screws up character better than this kind of fangirl. They completely ignore the two male victims' characters, but who cares? It's ZOMG SMEXEH YAOI! And they just can't live without masturbatory fantasies derived from two bishonen doing unmentionable things, amirite? (sarcasm) They often glorify rape, incest, and pedophilia, squealing over it and saying it's hot. Why would anyone want to take a beautiful character that someone worked hard on and portray him as a gay child molester with a mush of a brain containing only lustful thoughts of his brother/cousin/best friend/nemesis? And why would anyone but child molesters and pedophiles consider that sexy? If these Yaoi fangirls ever met Michael Jackson or any actual gay rapist or pedophile, I don't think they'd be squeeing. They also hate female characters just because they're there, together with the guys (and therefore showing that the guys are not gay), or interested in the guys. Also, they spam the Internet with their dirty work and try to shove their opinions down everyone's throat. Their fanfiction is nearly always nothing more than gay porn with no plot utterly devoid of grammar, syntax, spelling, and punctuation. I do not read it, and I tried to respect the Yaoi lovers' opinions, but now I'm just plain sick of being forced to root through all the crappy Yaoi fanart and fanfiction in order to find something decent. If Shonen Jump and Shoujo Beat were supposed to have Yaoi in their manga, they would be called Yaoi Jump and Yaoi Beat. Would you go shopping for designer clothes at the hardware store? Japan makes Yaoi animes for Yaoi lovers, and even those have an actual plot, and Guy A and Guy B have actual personalities besides lusting after each other. Watch them and quit trashing our fandoms. And how can Yaoi fantards claim they are in love with a male character when all they do is pair him with another guy who's not gay and mess up his character? That's not love. Yaoi fangirl, if you really loved the bishie you defile, you would keep him in character and pair him up with yourself or your OC. Come on. If you could actually meet said bishie (such a shame the fourth wall is sealed off), you met him, you wanted to be with him, and you came up to him and said, "AW! You and Mr. So-and-so look so shmexy together!" what do you think he would do? Tell you you're hot and ask you to dinner? I have great respect for smart Yaoi fangirls, and for Yaoi/Yuri that is well-written, even though I'm not interested in reading it. 6: Chatspeak: ZOMG it drivs me ttly INSANE wen ppl tok liek dis i rly h8 it :-( ! It was painful enough to even type that! Like Yaoi, chat speak is ubiquitous around here, and I find it extremely annoying. It makes people sound stupid, whether they actually are or not. It also hurts people's writing skills. I don't even know what the heck half those terms even mean and I'm not interested in learning! 7: Characters doing anything physical at a ridiculously young age, or with more than one person: How is it that two people in love can be ready to do The Deed (I dislike using the word "sex"), but not ready to marry? It is an act of giving oneself totally to another. When you give another person your body, you give them a piece of your heart, mind, and soul as well, which they will always keep with them forever, regardless of whether they truly love you and stay, or are simply pleasure-seekers and leave you in the dust. If someone is too young to marry, then they are too young to Do It. Doing so before marriage is like opening a birthday present before your birthday. Once it's opened, you can't reclose it. Even if you rewrap it, you've seen it already. As for multiple sexual partners, why would anybody want that? Why would you want to give yourself completely and totally to someone who slept with ten or twenty other people before you? Even if it didn't spread disease, that gift is something intended for someone special. Would you give a meaningful birthday present to just anyone? 8: Mary Sues/Gary Stus: They give OCs a bad name. Not all OCs are Mary Sues, and not all Mary Sues are OCs. Books, movies, TV shows, and anime are full of canon Sues and Stus. Because of Mary Sues, some people will consider any OC (particularly any OC who is also the author) a Mary Sue. This is simply untrue. OCs are, in fact, good practice for creating characters for your own original works. A Mary Sue, as I understand it, will have all or most of the following: a tragic past, great beauty, ridiculous abilities, annoying characterization, the ability to make members of the opposite gender fall in love with her/him at first sight, a love interest, bashing of the love interest's canon match, bashing of any canon female characters without a sensible reason, and traits unsuited to the setting. However, what defines a Mary Sue for certain is an unrealistic bad plotline, the ability to make other characters break character, and the ability to defy all logic as set up by the creator. Now, I understand that we all make mistakes, so Mary Sues should be a lesson to you in what to avoid when creating a character. I value a believable plotline above all, so I'm very careful with how I develop my OCs. I myself am one of my OCs, so I'm constantly on the Sue-watch with regards to myself. Please, learn to make your characters believable. People will stop yelling at you--really. Unless, of course, they are purists. 9: Sueification: Some people express their desperation for love not through OC-Mary Sues/Gary Stus or poor self-inserts, but through Sueification of a canon character. They choose their favorite character, make him/her their god/goddess, pretty much turn him/her into a literal god/goddess (which constitutes a Sue/Stu), and pair him/her up with every single member of the opposite gender they can think of (and sometimes even with everyone of the SAME gender as well... yerk). Most of these are girls. Some well-known characters who have become such goddesses include Sakura, Kagome, Hinata, and Ino. Kagome is paired with any male from any anime, so she's essentially anime's Queen of the Gods. (All hail Queen Kagome!) Naruto and Sasuke are the biggest gods I've seen worshipped, Naruto in particular (just ask the Harem Squad). This leads to unnecessary hatred of characters, false labeling ("whore," "slut," etc.), and bad plotlines. The characters are beautiful the way they are; if you must worship one as your god/goddess (Hail, Hinata-hime!), do it privately. As for pairings, choose someone who your character can actually go with. 10: Female character hatred: Seriously. Why do female characters get so much hate? For some unfathomable reason, female characters get hated much, much more, for every anti-club against a male character, there are three against female characters, and male characters get excused for the bad things they do, but female characters are hated for the dumbest reasons. A lot of it comes from Yaoi fangirls who are more interested in their own perverted fantasies than in the actual show. Orihime OBVIOUSLY likes Ichigo because she wants to get in the way of his true love for Renji, Kairi is OBVIOUSLY a slut because she likes Sora and wants to come between him and Riku, Larxene OBVIOUSLY sucks because Organization XIII was formed so the members could have wild buttsmecks all the time, Sango and Kagome OBVIOUSLY need to die so that Inuyasha can screw Miroku, Winry OBVIOUSLY wants to interfere with Edward's PASSIONATE LOVE for Roy Mustang, Sakura and Hinata are OBVIOUSLY whores because they (OMFG NOES!) like Sasuke and Naruto, who are OBVIOUSLY so TRULY IN WUV. Takahashi, Kishimoto, Kubo, Square Enix, and Arakawa OBVIOUSLY worked hard to create female characters for the purpose of being hated, tortured, and killed, because anime is all about Yaoi, amirite? Force forbid you go and watch a YAOI ANIME, that usually has NO FEMALE CHARACTERS IN IT. Or if it does, they're not going to get in the way of the central Yaoi. Seriously, you Gravitation fans should LOVE Ayaka! What would you do if your fiance turned out to be gay for a pink-haired crybaby? Ayaka TRULY LOVED Yuki; she let him go so he could be with Shiuchi! Not only did she help get Yuki and Shuichi together (which you Yaoi fans WANT), that's truly noble! (I didn't actually watch Gravitation...) Sexist fangirls give our gender a bad name. Female character hate also comes from Suethors. Let's go kill Sakura and write her horribly OOC so Sasuke can be with you! That's stupid. SasuSaku isn't even canon yet. And of course Sakura is the devil incarnate, but Sasuke is perfect and can do no wrong, because he has "good" looks and a Y chromosome! Most of the time, MALE characters deserve to be hated, but are loved because of their looks. That's so shallow! Would you marry an abusive jerk because he was handsome? That reminds me: What would you do if you were in a female character's position? What would you do if you were spirited away to the Feudal Era? What would you do if you liked a guy who didn't know you liked him, but were too shy to tell him? What would you do if your friends were in trouble? What would you do if a man (or two) fell in love with you? What would you do if the man you loved loved you too but wouldn't choose between you and his dead ex-girlfriend? Oh, and quit calling female characters sluts and whores! Those terms refer to women who sleep around with guys. For example, Flay Allster is a whore because she seduced Kira Yamato just to get into his pants. A girl liking a guy, being his girlfriend/fiance/wife, or being paired up with every male in the series BY FANS (meaning it's not freaking canon!) does NOT make her one. So if you point to a female character and scream "Slut" or "Whore", you'd better be able to name one guy she screwed. 11: Crappy romance: This seems to be the in thing these days. I'm sick and tired of reading dumb stories where the two people "fall in love" because of each other's looks or for no reason at all, it happens in the blink of an eye, they say the tackiest things, and/or the relationship is based on sex. True love isn't based on looks or sex. True love is wanting to commit to someone, spend the rest of your life with them, and have their children. If one of these is absent, a relationship will be a house built on sand. True love is a house built on stone. It involves commitment, sacrifice, support, and caring. There are things you'll do for the one you truly love that you wouldn't do for anyone else. An important thing to know is why you are in love. What is it you see in the other person that makes you want to commit to him or her and stay with him or her always? "He's hot" or "She's beautiful" are not reason enough on their own. And true love doesn't happen at first sight. Love at first sight does happen, but it needs time to develop. Cupid plants the seed at first sight, but the flower only blooms when you get to know the other person and grow closer to him or her. 12: People who take any criticism as a flame: Constructive criticism is meant to help you. Flames are meant to harm you. There is a difference. Example flame: "Your work is trash. My dog can write better than this. You are a waste of sperm and egg, and I hope you burn in hell." Note the shameless author-bashing. Example CC: "Your plot is too rushed. One moment you have A wishing for B's attention, and the next they're going at it like bunnies. The romance needs time to develop. Also, A is completely out of character; she'd never betray C." See how the CC points out the author's errors and how they can be corrected? Even though I invented the "You no like, you no read" club, that refers to bashing on a story because of the pairing, plot, or whatnot. By no means did I mean for it to mean criticism of any kind should not be allowed. If your plotline is bad, or if everybody is completely out of character, you need help. Take my first fanfiction, "I, Illiana: An Original Tale." I did not realize that my OC character was a Mary Sue until I got several reviews offering advice on how to fix that problem (and a few flames saying that I was stupid, pretentious, and self-centered, but I got rid of those). It hurt to realize this, but I didn't scream back at the constructive critics and call them prejudiced jerks. I considered their advice, went back to my files on Word, and FIXED MY CHARACTER. You should be able to tell the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. I want to help you fix your story, not beat you to a bloody pulp. This is why younger writers should be careful about posting their fanfiction. I would have been too fragile for concrit when I was thirteen, but I didn't join the site until I was fifteen, and by then I'd developed more maturity, common sense, and spine than I had at thirteen. So unless you've got high self-esteem and are prepared to take criticism, don't show your writing to the world, because unfortunately the world won't care about your self-esteem. 13: Possessive fangirlism: Possessive fangirlism means that a fangirl who loves a bishonen (or falsely claims to, in the case of a Yaoi fangirl) says she'll kill any girl who dares think about touching "her" self-proclaimed man, and hates female characters solely because they are canonically matched with, or are in love with/crushing on, the aforementioned man (and are therefore "in the way" in the eyes of the fangirl). This shows great immaturity and stupidity, and you can rely on a possessive fangirl (or fanbrat/fantard) to write poorly and not keep anyone in character. I accept that some people are possessive in the romance department, but that's no excuse to yell at your romantic rivals (and you will have them!) or hate characters. If you must love or hate, do so for sensible reasons. Take my dear friend Lin-chan. She is very possessive with regards to Sesshomaru-sama, and she yells at me for just looking at him (in a good-natured, friendly way), but she never sends stupid hate mail to other Sesshomaru-sama fangirls, and she doesn't hate Rin or Kagura because they are paired up with Sesshomaru-sama. Although I am canonically unrivaled, if there were any canon pairings for Itachi, I would not hate the lucky girl solely for that, and I don't send stupid hate mail to either my romantic rivals or to the psycho Yaoi fangirls who claim they love Itachi but obviously do not. 14: Dub-bashing: Stop making stupid comments about how America screwed up all your favorite anime. The dubbers' job is hard enough as it is. The translation is very hard in and of itself, but the dubbers also have to hire decent voice-actors and do what the TV network asks of them (even though anime is NOT for kids, despite their efforts). Admittedly some dubs are better than others (three words: Chance Pops Session), but come on. These people TRY. They TRY, and what do they get? Stupid disparaging remarks like "America ruins everything" and "OMG they cut out all the cussing, sex, and gore that were never in the anime in the first place!" and "Can you believe she actually said 'Mortal fool'? In the original she said 'stupid human'!" OK, why don't YOU try dubbing your favorite anime? Wait--you can't, because you couldn't do any better yourself! (4kids is an exception. They trash everything they can get their hands on. Bash them all you like.) Moreover, fansubs are unreliable. Every fansub is drastically different, and since it's fanmade, you can't trust that the translation is done well. And there is often more than one way to translate the Japanese. For instance, ningen no baka can be translated as either "Stupid human" or "Mortal fool." IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. (Oh, and a purist who whines about dubs for these reasons is a ningen no baka.) 15: "Rape = Love" scenarios: This is almost as bad as Yaoi. I'm ashamed that people are actually possessed to write stories that go to the tune of A meets B, A rapes B, B enjoys it for some reason unexplained to the readers, A and B fall in love forever and ever. Same goes for pictures depicting the artist or his/her OC/favorite character being raped by someone he/she lusts after. This is a grave insult to not only the characters, but to people who have actually suffered rape. It is a painful, traumatic experience that leaves its victims scarred, and just the thought of it makes me afraid to go to bed. Rape is not love. Period. 16. Ridiculous, unorthodox pairings: Now, I won't go flaming people for coming up with or writing ridiculous pairings. They are free to write whatever they choose. However, why can't people make pairings that make sense? And I don't just mean wacko Yaoi. I mean utterly ridiculous couples that would never happen or never work. It's just plain stupid. More on this later. 17. Incest: This is something I really can't get past. Why. Would. Anyone. Support. This? It is not awesome, it is not cute, and it is not hot. It is sick and wrong. I don't even care if it's Yaoi or Yuri. The reason I don't want to see Itachi kiss Sasuke is not because they are both men, it is because they are BROTHERS. It is no different than if I were to sleep with my father. You cannot have a romance between siblings or between a parent and child. 18. Emos: I'm sorry, but I can't stand emos, whether real or fictional. It's natural to suffer and go through times of pain, but there's a fine line between suffering and being emo. To clarify, emo is being a crybaby and screaming at the world how much your life sucks and the world hates you. There's no point in that; you have to stand tall, do your best to be strong, and work toward your dreams. Besides, there is greater suffering than that of emos. Before you start whining and cutting yourself, go visit China or India. Moreover, there are way too many emo prettyboy characters who aren't even hot yet somehow have legions of fangirls. They tend to be Gary Stus more than half the time. I don't know why they are so beloved; not only are they not hot, it is the furthest thing from manly to be a crying baby. I adhere to a principle that most fans scorn or ignore: Respect Others' Opinions. While there are certainly several fics around here I don't like, or just flat-out despise, we all have a right to write around here. This is why flaming is so wrong. The very reason this site was created was so that we could write stories based on our favorite entertainment without being indicted for copyright infringement. Even though there are several pairings, plots, and stories around here that I hate, I'm not going to waste my time trying to shove my opinions down others' throats. If I did, I wouldn't put it past them to try to shove theirs down mine. I do not claim to be a professional. I never even considered that I was a good writer until other people told me I was. Even with that assurance, I tend to think less highly of my own writing than other people do, and I do not expect incessant, blind praise. I've read stories that I feel greatly outshine anything I could do. However, nothing will deter me from pursuing my passion. I also seriously do not care what people want, or what they think of me. People could think that I sleep hanging upside down from trees, eat slugs, and wear pants as hats, and I still wouldn't care. I will only listen to actual criticism that I can benefit from. Who knows; maybe slugs would taste nice with a little salt and pepper. Not that I plan on trying it or anything. The "You no like, you no read" club: If you believe that people who don't like someone's story should simply not read it instead of posting cruel and hateful reviews, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha OATH TO THE REVIEW REVOLUTION I, the undersigned, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I enjoy, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else. I have joined the review revolution! Join the revolution! Copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: FreeFallJumper, Alicia Kawa Uchiha DECREE ON STORY COMPLETION I, the undersigned, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, do solemnly swear to complete all the fics I upload, regardless of the number of reviews, writer's block, or anything else that might get in my way. I am sworn to finish every story I start. Swear on this decree, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list: Alicia Kawa Uchiha My self-proclaimed mission: My goal is not to achieve world domination; but merely to publish several books and become known and respected as a writer, so that my works will be read and loved long after I'm dead. I also hope to be Mrs. Chase somewhere along the way. Where to find me on other corners of the Internet My email - send things here if you want me to beta your stuff My Deviantart - Come look at my art! My Livejournal - I'll post there when I can! Links A NaruHina manifesto: Many NaruHina fans have either lost hope or been successfully wooed by the Extremely Pretentious NaruSaku Fan Club because the signs seemingly point toward NaruSaku. Quite the opposite is true--and this amazing essay proves it! An anti-anti-NaruHina essay: Even more proof to go along with the first essay. Here's the second half of it. How to write a proper ItaSaku: Great advice written by the stellar authoress MitsukiShiroi. In fact, it might help a bit for any AkatSaku. MYFC Online: MYFC stands for "Marry Your Favorite Character." Feeling amorous? Put on a wedding dress, click the link, register for the site, and get married! Anime Lyrics: Lyrics to all the anime songs you like can be found right here. Anime/manga I like: Chibi Vampire/Karin, Rosario Vampire, Vampire Knight, Fushigi Yuugi, Oh My Goddess!, Love Hina, Azumanga Daioh, Yotsuba&!, Inuyasha, Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Prince of Tennis (blame my sister) Western cartoons I like: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Transformers Animated, Phineas & Ferb, Avatar: The Last Airbender Movies I like: All the Star Wars movies (except for the parts containing Anakin), all of Studio Ghibli's movies, most classic Disney movies, most Disney Pixar movies, The Princess Bride, Adam, both Transformers movies (2, not as much), Shrek (and its sequels) Books I like: "The Lord of the Rings" by J.R.R. Tolkien Movies/books/shows I can't stand: American Pie (Seriously, why does this garbage even get considered entertainment?) Characters I form all opinions on characters for sensible reasons. Sometimes it's hard to explain my reasoning, but there are a lot of people out there who like/hate characters for no reason or for "reasons" that make absolutely no sense. Sometimes "I don't know why I love/hate So-and-So; I just do" is a sensible reason. "I hate this girl because she likes this guy, and this guy is all mine; she's in my way" is not a sensible reason, nor is "I hate these girls because they like these two guys who make a great Yaoi couple and they're in the way of the guys' OMG TWOO WUV." "I love this guy/girl because he/she is hot" is not a sensible reason; you need to take character traits into account as well. And "I'm in love with Mr. So-and-So; he and Mr. Whozit look ZOMG SO HAWT together" are contradictory statements. I almost never hate female characters, and I only love/hate a select few characters. Bold type below indicates a character I really love/hate. Italics indicates a character that I don't feel strongly about, but is notably very strong/interesting, or too weak/Mary Sueish, of a character, or is merely funny. Best male characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Boba Fett, Jango Fett, Kal Skirata, Bardan Jusik, all the clones of Omega Squad, Yoda, Han Solo, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Aragorn, Legolas, all Weasleys, Aang, Sokka, Cabbage Man, Uncle Iroh, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, Sesshomaru, Miroku, Kurosaki Ichigo, Abarai Renji, Hitsugaya Toshiro, Zaraki Kenpachi, Kuran Kaname, Hanabusa Aidou, Ichijou Takuma, Alucard, Uchiha Itachi, Uzumaki Naruto, Rock Lee, Uchiha Obito, Namikaze Minato, all Akatsuki members (except Hidan, Kakuzu, and Pain), Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Prowl, Megatron, Starscream, Blitzwing, L Lawliet, Saotome Ranma, Briar, Wesley, Dracula Best female characters: Tahl, Kreia, the Jedi Exile, Revan, Bastila, Siri Tachi, Bant Aerin, Shaak Ti, Luminara Unduli, Etain Tur-Mukan, Asajj Ventress, Leia Organa Solo, Arwen, Eowyn, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Shinobu Maehara, Kaolla Su, Motoko Aoyama, Katara, Toph, Aunt Wu, Winry Rockbell, Kagome, Sango, Inoue Orihime, Kuchiki Rukia, Kusajishi Yachiru, Cross Yuuki, Touya Rima, Kuran Juuri, Seras Victoria, Integra Hellsing, Hyuuga Hinata, Kaze no Temari, Yuuhi Kurenai, Tsunade, Konan, Uchiha Mikoto, Uzumaki Kushina, Arcee, all three Tendo sisters, Yotsuba Koiwai, Alanna the Lioness, Veralidaine Sarrasri, Keladry of Mindelan, Sandry, Daja, Tris, Princess Buttercup, Ramona Quimby, Jane Eyre, all Jane Austen protagonists Worst male characters: Anakin Skywalker, Emperor Palpatine, Count Dooku, Jar Jar Binks, Wilhuff Tarkin, Jacen Solo, all Neimoidians, all Yuuzhan Vong, Draco Malfoy, all Malfoys, Severus Snape, Firelord Ozai, Naraku, Kouga, Jakotsu, Aizen Sousuke, Kuran Rido, Uchiha Sasuke, Orochimaru, all of Team Sucky/Baka (oops, I mean Hebi/Taka), Uchiha Madara, all Uchihas (except Itachi, Obito, and Mikoto), Hidan, Kakuzu, Pain, Sentinel Prime, Longarm/Shockwave, Prince Humperdinck, Jacob Black, Edward Cullen Worst female characters: Padme Amidala, Ahsoka Tano, Ginny Weasley, Naru Narusegawa, Princess Azula, Souen Ruka, Haruno Sakura, Karin, some female (Naruto) filler characters, Nessie Cullen, Bella Swan Note on Azula: Don't get me wrong, she's such a strong character and an AMAZING villain, but she is too cruel and sadistic for me to like. I now like her better than I used to because of a terrible Avatar doujin that horribly mutilated her character (as well as Toph's and Katara's). I only really can't stand her when people who do crossovers pair her with Itachi. They don't go together at all. He will NOT bend to her will or be her lapdog. Note on Longarm: See Azula. Couples As with characters, I form opinions on couples for sensible reasons. That doesn't mean I only support canon pairings, it just means I don't love or hate pairings because "they look sexy together" or solely because they're canon or noncanon. Sometimes "I don't know why; I just do" is a sensible reason. I like most canon pairings because they make sense, but I also tend to like alternative noncanon pairings because as a writer, it's fun to play around with the characters and see who would be compatible even though such a couple would never happen in the canon. However, some noncanon pairings do not work at all no matter how hard you try, and the only way to get them to work is to screw up the characters' characterizations. I want to read about the characters I know and love being themselves, not something they are clearly not. And whatever the pairing, I value a believable plotline more than anything. Although I do enjoy fluffy romantic scenes, too much fluff spoils the story, and too little fluff bores me. A good pairing needs the right amount of balance. Think Yin and Yang. Every Yin needs a Yang, and vice versa. This is where a lot of people get confused. That means their personalities need to balance each other out, not that a good guy and villain should be matched up. This is also why I don't read or write Yaoi or Yuri: two Yins or two Yangs don't equal Yin and Yang and can never truly balance each other out. To clarify: Good couples are ones I enjoy, but I don't ship them as ardently as my favorites. OK couples are ones that are interesting and that I would read, but I don't necessarily ship them. Couples I don't like are ones I can tolerate (and might even read) if done well, whereas the ones I cannot tolerate at all, I will be averse to no matter how well-written or in character the story is. Bold type indicates an OC. Italics indicates a crossover couple. Favorite couples: Itachi/Myself, Sesshomaru/Lin (my best friend), Kray (my Romeo)/Hinata, Sasori/Nemu, Rafiki/Rukia, Itachi/Kagome, Boba/Kagome, Obi-Wan/Illiana, Darman/Etain, Qui-Gon/Tahl, Aragorn/Arwen, Faramir/Eowyn, Harry/Luna, Ron/Hermione, Ichigo/Orihime, Renji/Rukia, Toshiro/Momo, Edward/Winry, Aang/Katara, Sokka/Toph, Zuko/Jin, Inuyasha/Kagome, Sesshomaru/Kagome, Miroku/Sango, Alucard/Seras, Kaname/Yuuki, Senri/Rima, Haruka/Juuri, Ichiru/Shizuka, Naruto/Hinata, Lee/Sakura, Shikamaru/Temari, Neji/Tenten, Pain/Konan, Konohamaru/Hanabi, Tsukune/Moka, Keiichi/Belldandy, Wesley/Buttercup, George/Alanna, Numair/Daine... and Kray/myself, of course, as far as Darth Real Life goes. Good couples: Han/Leia, Kit/Aayla, Grievous/Shaak, Yoda/Yaddle, Rex/Ahsoka, Optimus/Elita, Ratchet/Arcee, Grimlock/Blackarachnia, Ichigo/Rukia, Uryuu/Orihime, Ulquiorra/Orihime, Shunsui/Nanao, Byakuya/Hisana, Gin/Rangiku, Roy/Riza, Sokka/Suki, Sokka/Yue, Sokka/Ty Lee, Zuko/Mai, Zuko/Song, Kouga/Ayame, Shippo/Rin, Shippo/Souten, Kain/Ruka, Takuma/Seiren, Day Class president/Ruka, Zero/shy girl with the glasses, Iruka/Anko, Asuma/Kurenai, Kakashi/Kurenai, Jiraiya/Tsunade, Sai/Ino, Genma/Shizune, nearly anyone/OC OK couples: Obi-Wan/Siri, Zekk/Jaina, Jacen/Nen Yim, Luke/Mara, Bumblebee/Sari, Prowl/Sari, Blitzwing/Blackarachnia, Harry/Hermione, Kurama/Kagome, Toshiro/Sakura, Toshiro/Rangiku, Edward/Hinata, Pip/Seras, Aidou/Yori, Shikamaru/Ino, Chouji/Ino, Shino/Hinata, Gaara/Sakura, Akatsuki/Konan, funny Akatsuki/Sakura (Deidara or Sasori is the best for this) Couples I don't like: Yaoi, Yuri, Anakin/Padme, Qui-Gon/Shmi, Obi-Wan/Ventress, Harry/Ginny, Zuko/Katara, Aang/Toph, Aang/not Katara, Sesshomaru/Rin, Kouga/Kagome, Inuyasha/Kikyo, Sesshomaru/Kikyo, Zero/Yuuki, Sasuke/Sakura, Naruto/Sakura, Kiba/Hinata, Lee/Tenten, Kakuzu/anybody except money, Hidan/anybody, Itachi/any canon female, Gai/any canon female, Naruto/not Hinata or an OC Couples I am unable to tolerate: Overused Yaoi including SasuNaru, EdRoy, and all KH Yaoi, Itachi/any male, Itachi/any Mary Sue, any sort of harem, incest, pedophilia, Edward (Cullen)/Bella, Jacob/Nessie, Anakin/Ahsoka, Anakin/anybody, Palpatine/anybody, Jedi male/non-Jedi female, Sentinel/anybody, Dumbledore/anybody, Snape/anybody, Draco/anybody, Aizen/anybody, Ozai/anybody, anybody/Azula, Naraku/anybody, Alucard/Integra, Alucard/not Seras, Kaname/not Yuuki, Rido/Juuri, Itachi/Azula, Sasuke/Hinata, Neji/Hinata, Sasuke/anybody, Orochimaru/anybody, any of Team Sucky/anybody, anyone besides Itachi or Kray/myself (This means you!! I am NOT on the market!) (Annie/Padme and SasuSaku are mainly on the "Don't like" list rather than the "Can't tolerate" list because several people that support either or both are my friends.) 1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Itachi, Hinata, Naruto 2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? Naruto/Hinata, Lee/Sakura, Itachi/Kagome, Pein/Konan, Neji/Tenten, Shikamaru/Temari, Sai/Ino, Kakashi/Rin, Kakashi/Kurenai, Iruka/Anko, Jiraiya/Tsunade, Genma/Shizune, Konohamaru/Hanabi, Udon/Moegi, anyone/OC, Kisame/fish, Sasori/Nemu, Kray/Hinata, Itachi/me, Sasuke/death 3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? I'm sick and tired of Yaoi of any kind, Naruto Yaoi most of all (especially Yaoi couples that include Itachi), although I won't complain about canon Yaoi like Gravitation or Loveless. I only don't like hentai because I'm not a pervert and I don't want to be one. 4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? No, but I think I'd make a decent Hinata. I'd probably be a better Kagome, though. 5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: All the manga volumes out in the US so far, a Konoha forehead protector, three Naruto T-shirts, a Konoha leaf pendant, an Itachi plushie, a wall scroll, several posters plastered all over my room 6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Itachi x Alicia forever!! 7. NaruHina or KibaHina? Naruto and Hinata can't go with anyone besides each other or OCs. It would just be cruel and wrong to do otherwise. They deserve each other, plain and simple. Plus I don't like Kiba that much. He's not worthy of Hinata at all. 8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Don't like either of them. Although SasuSaku is somewhat tolerable (as long as Sakura is dominating Sasuke), unlike that stupid overdone Yaoi crap known as SasuNaru. 9. Which team is your favorite? Team 8. Shino's calm, cool, and collected. I don't really like Kiba, but he's kind of funny, and I'm glad he cares for Hinata. Kurenai is kind, understanding, motherly, and supportive - the kind of qualities I look for in a mentor. Hinata is my favorite female character, and she's like a daughter to me. 10. Do you support the Tobito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Most definitely! Both are good boys missing an eye. 11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Of course! 12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? My precious Itachi-kun! 13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke? I despise him with a passion! Why won't he DIE? 14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? I only have access to what is released in the US so far. But I'm OK with that; I feel that seeing the spoilers in advance constitutes cheating, although I'm kind of ticked that Shippuuden hasn't come over here yet. 15. Have you read all the manga chapters so far? I never read them online, and I honestly don't care what Kishimoto coughs up anymore. The plot has gone down the toilet and is impossible to salvage. Everything that happens from Sasuke vs. Deidara onward is crap. 16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? No. Who thought of that? 17. Sub or dub? Dub. I see nothing objectionable about the dubs and I'm sick and tired of all the stupid dub-bashing among the fans. Plus I don't have time to watch the subs. 18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Neither. I don't hate her, but she's too violent for my tastes and is a poor lead female character. However, my answer will be changed immediately to "Anti" if Sakura marries Naruto. 19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Hilarious! "Tobi is a good boy!" I couldn't agree more. 20. Do you even know who Tobi is? Yes. And he's not the old fart. 21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? Ugly nerd, but funny and likeable. The Power of Youth? It cracks me up! 22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? Deidara, even though his hairdo is the only thing I think really looks girly. It would be more fun to put Sasuke-teme in a dress, however. 23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Both. He and Sakura definitely go together. 24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? I should love to see Itachi holding a rose and acting all Romeo-ish for me. 25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Indeed I do. What do you think I joined this site for? My list of favorite stories includes several stunning literary gems that put my own writing skills to shame. 26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? I'm a writer, and I do what I do best: I write. Star Wars and Naruto are currently the only fandoms I write for. 27. Do you like lemons? Er. They scar my brain. Especially if they include Itachi. And even if I were a pervert, I can't write a lemon to save my life. Plus my folks would murder me eighty times if they caught me writing one. 28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? They certainly do, and my Dad has thought up whole books of bad jokes because of it. I've lost count of the number of Itachi/Me bad jokes Dad has told so far. 29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? Heard of it. I don't think it's funny and I don't plan on watching it. 30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? Indeed I have, and Snowdragon is a certified genius. 31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? You bet I have, dattebayo! Especially since I was the one who got hooked first. 32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? Yes. I draw some of the characters in the pieces I do for art class, and the guy who sits next to me could recognize them. I also show the people at Anime Club my drawings. 33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said "WTF is this?" Actually, my art teacher complimented me on how well I draw. 34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? School life, pretty much, grades, not really. Mostly all I do in school is daydream (you know what about). 35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Well, I'm broke already because my Daddy can't pay me. 36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? I don't want to be a pervert! 37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? Yondy's from Konoha; Pein's from Rain. Yondy's up in heaven with a harp and a halo; Pein is stuck in the office dealing with bijuu and paperwork. In short, the answer is no. 38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? Indeed. You'll see my drawings on Deviantart soon. Because the world needs more Itachi x Alicia. 39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? That chicken-haired bastard was never sexy to begin with. Besides, he looks like an 80's heavy-metal punk rocker in second state. 40. Do you have a Naruto OC? Yes, several, and I'm very careful about how I develop them. I am one of my own OCs, and I share most of them with Kray Torishi (himself an author/OC). I mostly make them to pair off lonely characters. 41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? No. Of course not. PSYCHE NO JUTSU! See? RAPP: Rants About Poor Plotlines Why is it that almost every time I enter a fandom I like, the creator wins my heart with a brilliant work only to turn it into crap? Why do bad plotlines seem to be the in thing these days? It seems like things are becoming less about creativity and more about making money. So here's where I'll rant about bad plotlines. There are going to be spoilers here, so I'd advise you to skip this if you haven't seen some of them. Avatar I'm starting light, because the Avatar ending didn't really piss me off. It did disappoint me, however. The execution in "The Boiling Rock" was somewhat lacking, and there were several forced Zutara scenes in several episodes that were clearly only put there because the couple is so popular. "The Ember Island Players" was a pointless filler in which the characters seemed OOC. And the ending was pretty screwed up. Why did they have Katara go with Zuko to fight Azula? If Aang had seen that Katara wasn't there, Ozai would have killed him. Also, Toph would have been able to take Azula down quickly, having a lot of earth to bend, while Katara could have done well against the airships with an entire ocean to work with. She (Katara) couldn't have possibly beaten Azula by freezing her while the comet was there. It's not like Zuko melted his way out of Katara's ice WITHOUT THE COMET in Season One or anything. And why were Zuko and Aang still not strong enough to beat Azula and Ozai despite learning the Dancing Dragon (the most powerful firebending style, mind you)? Zuko, not Katara, should have beaten Azula, and Aang should have killed Ozai! Stupid Nick channel. Since the show is on Nick and they can't possibly have Aang kill anybody, they make him learn spirit bending--from a freaking giant sea turtle! Yeah, that's so believable. Plus, the ending seemed too happy, though I loved that Aang and Katara ended up together. (The entire series was screaming for it to happen!) Zuko would have to deal with opponents within the Fire Nation who still supported his father. Bryke, you could have done better. Eragon (and sequels) While interesting and well-written, the plot is largely the same as Star Wars. I mean, Eragon finds Saphira's egg and finds out Brom is a Dragon Rider, who were wiped out by the Evil Empire, and then the Ra'zac come and kill his uncle. Then he leaves Carvahall to train with Brom, sees Brom murdered, and joins the Varden--a rebel band. Sound familiar? Then he travels to Ellesmera to continue his training, where he meets old Oromis, who's in hiding. Hmm, what a coincidence! However, talk like this, the old elf doesn't. And isn't it odd that a Rider's abilities are rather like the Force? Then Eragon leaves Ellesmera before he finishes his training so he can help his friends and the Varden. I can hear Luke Skywalker sneezing now! And the biggie: I quote Murtaugh directly here. "Eragon, I am your brother, and Morzan is your father!" I haven't read the third book yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if Galbatorix is butt-ugly and can shoot lightning from his fingers. Twilight series Before I pick on my two biggest bones, I'll get this out of the way. I was sure I was going to LOVE Twilight. It looked interesting from the exterior, it was about vampires, it was supposed to be a romance, and my sister is a fan. She helped to make me believe it was going to be a wonderful read. I was excited when we finally got the book. However, Stephanie Meyer dashed my expectations and let me down. The book turned out to be a boring, tedious, plotless text with a crappy, unrealistic romance. Twilight is so boring that I couldn't finish it in one sitting, and I almost fell asleep trying to read it! It looks and sounds like it was written by a naive thirteen-year-old fangirl who wanted to seem cool, was imagining herself as Bella, and thought that using big words would impress her readers. (How the fierfek did it get published?) And the characters are stupid and annoying! Bella is an annoying idiot who could be knocked over with just a push of my little finger. She's also a total female dog to people who are nice to her and care for her. The Mandos have the perfect words to describe her: shabla mir'osiik. No wonder Edward can't read her mind; all there is in her mush of a brain is "Edward is gorgeous". Which we're reminded of every two sentences. Speaking of Edward, he's no vampire. He's a creepy, stalkerish, blood-drinking fairy with skin that's made of disco balls. Vampires do not sparkle! If Stephanie Meyer wanted to use that much poetic license, she shouldn't have called them vampires. J.R.R. Tolkien invented hobbits and Balrogs, and J.K. Rowling invented dementors, Veela, and Inferi. In any case, Edward Cullen is a sparkly fairy and can never know the true way of the night clan. And his and Bella's so-called "romance" is both more unrealistic than Disney and creepier than a date with Orochimort Jackson. Bella only likes Edward because of his looks, and he only likes her because of her smell. That's not true love! I saw no chemistry at all between them. Their conversations were comprised almost entirely of "Oh, Edward! You're so gorgeous!" "Oh, Bella! ...But I'm a monster; I could hurt you!" "But Edward, you're so hot!" "I love you too, Bella, now come along; we're going out." And for some reason she likes it when he stalks her. If Mr. Sparkly was following me home and watching me sleep, I'd tell my dad and file for a restraining order, and Dad would rip his head off the next time he came near me. Edward is controlling and abusive, and Bella lets him walk all over her. That's not romance, that's creepy. And the next three books are even worse. (I haven't read the whole series, just Twilight and Breaking Dawn, and after reading those, I don't think I can stomach the other two.) In New Moon (Most. Boring. Book. EVER), Edward, who promised Bella he would stay with her always, leaves her, and she goes all emo and jumps off a cliff just to hear his voice! (I didn't actually read New Moon in its entirety; it was so boring it put me to sleep after two or three pages.) And in Eclipse, when she's going to see Jacob, Edward takes the engine out of her car and bribes Alice with a Porsche to keep her from going anywhere. This is love? Sure, right, of course. And Breaking Dawn... the first three books were just boring, but Breaking Dawn is wrong on so many levels. Meyer doesn't detail the E/B lemon much, except for mentioning that Edward wrecked the bed and shredded a pillow, yet she describes a particularly gruesome birthing scene in great detail. Seriously; Edward gives Bella a C-section with his mouth! Moreover, marriage is NOT a nonstop sex fest. Meyer also disregards science and goes against her own logic that she herself set up three books ago. Edward is SUPPOSED to be dead and have no body fluids. How the shab can he have live sperm? And even if he does, how the hell can he and Bella have a creepy deus ex machina baby that grows so fast you'd think she was on steroids? Then Jacob reveals that he's a pedophile when he imprints on said baby. Seriously. He liked Bella and then imprinted on her daughter. Her DAUGHTER! I can hear Jacob's voice now: "Nessie, my sweet!" It sounds almost exactly like a certain gay hebi bastard saying, "Sassssssssssssuke-kun!" Does that not spell "creepy"? I only don't hate Nessie because I feel so sorry for her. First her idiot mother names her, of all things, "Renesmee" (which I refuse to call her), and then Pedomutt "falls in love" with her and marks her as his future bride, giving her no say in the matter. So what if she's supposed to think of him as Uncle Jacob until she grows up? She'll spend her whole life viewing "Uncle Jacob" as a fatherly figure and then have to marry him. Same for little Claire as far as Quil is concerned. So not only is it pedophilia, it's also almost incest. People say, "But she doesn't have to fall in love with him!" Perhaps so. But she's expected to. So it's still essentially an arranged marriage. Jacob even gave Nessie an engagement ring for her first Christmas. An ENGAGEMENT RING! People also say, "But he doesn't lust after her!" Lust is part of love. Believe me, I know. I admit that I would really like for Itachi to screw the osiik out of me. (I never write or draw stuff like that, though; my lust is not something I should show the world.) And Jacob knows that if he and Nessie marry, he's going to do stuff to her. So yes, he does feel lust. (That's why I never write Kray and I paired together. As much as I like him, with the way we appear in my writing, it would look exactly like what Jacob did to Nessie, and I am NOT a pedophile.) Would someone please tell me why this series is a bestseller? Not only is it boring, it promotes sexism, relationship abuse, unhealthy love, and pedophilia. (Katie is so going to rip my head off for this...) Star Wars George Lucas, I have a bone to pick with you. A big bone. When I first saw the original Star Wars trilogy, I was enthralled and delighted. I wanted to be a part of that wonderful world. It was so much more amazing than my mundane existence as Alicia Rivers in a little house on the only inhabitable planet in the Milky Way galaxy. Then I saw the prequel trilogy. I loved the character designs and the setting, initially forgetting to notice the plot, and when I discovered the Jedi Apprentice series soon after, I gave birth to my first fanfic and first character. (No wonder Illiana was a Mary Sue in my first draft; she was the embodiment of me, and I was only thirteen at the time. I started thinking as though I were her, and whenever I dressed in the Jedi robes Mom made me for Halloween, all the Alicia in me would entirely disappear.) However, as I gave the prequel movies a closer look, I realized how awful and unrealistic the plot was. It's very obvious that Lucas didn't think his story through carefully, and much of the storyline is shoddily written and has plotholes big enough to drive a Super Stardestroyer through. Why is the Jedi Council so dense and senile? They would never have let Anakin in the Order. He was too old, too whiny, too volatile, and too dangerous to the Order. These are the same old farts who will rip your head off if you get married! Even if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were firm in their yes, the Council would still say no, and Anakin would have had to be secretly trained. And if the Council couldn't even sense that Palpatine was evil and that the clone army was being made, how the hell did the Order stand that long? And if the people of Naboo were suffering and dying due to the Federation blockade, why didn't we see it? The so called "romance" between Anakin and Padmé makes me wonder if Lucas had help from Stephanie Meyer, or if she was following his example. Little Annie meets Padmé at age nine, and she is clearly too old for him. She's fourteen and looks twenty, for cryin' out loud! He wants to spend time with her because she's pretty. He doesn't seem to care about her as a person and only notices her looks. How many times do I have to say that's not a reason to fall in love? Then they don't see each other for ten years, but when Anakin sees Padmé again, he's all over her, even though he had only met her once and barely knew her, and there were plenty of female Jedi who deserved screentime. If I saw someone I had only met once and barely knew after ten years, I wouldn't be noticing him romantically. I might think, "Hey, that's Todd Anderson--he lived next door to me when I was six! He's pretty cute now that he's grown up." But regardless of whether or not Todd is beautiful on the outside, if I were going to fall in love with him, I'd have to get to know him and see what he was like on the inside. I mean, Itachi is beautiful and sexy, but if you read what I have to say about him, you saw that I am drawn to him because he is beautiful on the inside. And my heart is for Kray (who is really, really cute--damn hot, actually) because he's sweet and kind, not because he's cute. My point is, I actually bother to get to know the man Cupid's arrow has made me notice before I truly fall in love with him. It's what's on the inside that matters. Back to Anakin and Padmé. When they meet again, Anakin tells Padmé that she was in his mind for the entire time since he last saw her. Does the great Chosen One, who is supposed to be a very powerful Jedi, seriously have such a one-track mind that all he can think about is a beautiful princess who's too old for him? Also, if the contents of Anakin's brain actually were comprised almost entirely of "Padmé Padmé Padmé Padmé Padmé Padmé Padmé" for ten years straight, wouldn't the old farts, or at least Obi-Wan, have noticed? My folks can always, always, always tell when I'm interested in someone, and they don't even have the Force to help them read other people's thoughts and feelings. Then Anakin takes Padmé off Coruscant, where she's pretty well-protected, to her home planet of Naboo, where any assassin seeking her would OBVIOUSLY look. Why'd he do it? To protect her. Good move! Anyway, on Naboo, they spend some more time goofing around together, Anakin says a bunch of corny crap about politics and negotiations, and Padmé starts to think, "Hey, Annie's a total hottie now. A hottie-hot-hottie, to be exact. OMG I WUV HIM!" Then they go all "But we can't be together, Annie! The Council will rip your head off!" "I don't care anymore, Padmé! I want you too much!" It makes me wanna puke. Then they get married because they're SO IN WUV (sarcasm), and Palpatine takes advantage of Anakin's incessant whining over Padmé to turn him to the dark side. When Padmé sees him having gone to the dark side, she starts whining and crying about how he's breaking her heart. She then dies giving birth to Luke and Leia--because she had a broken heart and lost the will to live. Do you realize how STUPID that is? It's even worse because their romance is SUPPOSED to show that Anakin is strong-willed, can make his own decisions, and doesn't let the old farts push him around, as well as that true love can conquer all. But because of how the relationship is unrealistic and largely based on looks, despite what many Anakin/Padmé fans and fanfics say, that all crashes through the floor. Maybe this is where J.K. Rowling got her inspiration for Deathly Hallows. Then there's a HUGE blight on the plot named Jar Jar Binks. He's the worst attempt at comic relief I've ever seen. He's not funny, and he doesn't deserve the role he gets. Why does that stupid annoying Gungan play a pivotal role in saving Naboo and in helping Palpatine rise to power? And why do Qui-Gon and Darth Maul have to die after one movie, but stupid Jar Jar gets to survive three? If I could only see him reduced to a bloody smear on the wall, I would be very very happy. Of course, the King of Losers himself is just as bad. All he did was whine and cry and complain and go BAWW throughout the entirety of AOTC and ROTS. It's even worse because Anakin is SUPPOSED to be a tragic hero whose fall to darkness and last-minute redemption are supposed to touch your heart. He fulfilled that role well as Darth Vader. But as Anakin, he's just whiny, annoying, and embarrassing, not to mention pompous. His true name is Anakin Crywalker. Luke, why would you want to be a Jedi like your father before you? He was one of the worst Jedi ever to live! He's a lot like Assbow-and-Manskirt, which is probably why I hate him so much. I don't know how Lucas first imagined the jetiise, but I'm pretty damn sure that whatever way he imagined them, they were NOT crying babies. Why did the female Jedi get pushed into the background while the limelight focused on this arrogant, whiny-ass, prick wannabe? That's sexism. It was bad enough that Luke got to be a Jedi and Leia had to be a politician. Shoving the female Jedi into the background conveys the stereotype of big, strong, gallant men and weak, helpless women. And why didn't we get to see any Mandalorians besides the Fetts? They kick ass, they make tacky armor look cool, and they have the best swears in three galaxies! I don't give a crap about how much you suck and wish you could stop people from dying, Anakin. Go BAWW to someone who cares: Padmé, Mommy, a rabid fangirl, anyone! I don't want your osiik; I want my strong female Jedi characters! And I want my Mandos! Oh, and the Skywalker family is overrated! However, the movies don't seem that bad after you read the New Jedi Order or Legacy of the Force novels. Speaking of the New Jedi Order and Legacy of the Force novels, they can be summarized in two words: THEY SUCK! If you ask me, they suck worse than the prequel movies. And that's really saying something. Seriously, what is with the Yuuzhan Vong? Invaders from outside the galaxy who stand utterly outside the Force? That's so stupid! The whole "alien invaders" thing stopped being interesting about a hundred UFO landings ago, and it's even dumber when placed into the Star Wars galaxy. The Yuuzhan Vong are a deus ex machina created solely for the sake of more plotlines (and therefore those plotlines majorly suck). With their parade of fake gods, I half expected them to start drawing triangle-circle emblems on the ground and crying, "Praise be to Jashin!" They are also way too powerful, rendering Luke and friends pretty much useless for at least ten books straight. Half the New Jedi Order novels go to the tune of "The Yuuzhan Vong attack, Luke and friends fight against them, they lose." Then, in the Legacy of the Force novels, things turn around and half the Yuuzhan Vong start kissing Skywalker butt, worshipping Luke and friends as gods. Moreover, there is no reason to put our heroes through two galactic crises straight. There were year gaps hundreds and thousands of years long between all the other major galactic wars. Why put our heroes through two wars straight? Speaking of our heroes, there are several unnecessary deaths throughout both series (I won't spoil anything here), and the characters are written to be so stupid and annoying it hurts my brain. In the movies, Luke wasn't whiny or wussy enough to annoy me, and his inner conflicts were both realistic and touching. But in the New Jedi Order and Legacy of the Force series, he's pretty much Anakin Jr.: A whiny annoying loser that has no clue when to stop BAWWing and start thinking and doing. And Jacen Solo is an even bigger moron. Didn't having Darth Vader for a grandfather teach him anything? Naruto This REALLY pisses me off. WTF is wrong with you, Kishimoto? You won my heart with your beautiful artwork, interesting concepts, and colorful characters. Then you go and turn your own series into crap. Do you know Mr. Lucas well? Except Mr. Lucas didn't break my heart into a thousand pieces and scatter the shards everywhere. What pisses me off even more is that there are people--highly intelligent people, mind you--who actually think this Mary Sue, deus ex machina-filled sorry excuse of a plotline is good and well-written. Seriously. Naruto, the son of the STRONGEST KAGE EVER TO LIVE, who learned Kage Bunshin BY HIMSELF and Rasengan IN A WEEK, went off to train with Jiraiya, who trained his father and is himself a Sannin. He comes back after three years having learned a grand total of... three new jutsus. Three. And they're all powerful jutsus, but they all have huge downfalls, so he can't use them very often. He's weaker than Sakura if he doesn't use Kyuubi's chakra! Sakura at least improved over the timeskip, but Naruto, for some inexplicable reason, takes one step forward and two steps back. Why the fierfek is he so underpowered? And why is he such a moron and an ass? Was his only change over the timeskip to get new clothes and become hotter? Speaking of Gary Stus, the worst part of the Shippuuden plotline is the assbow-and-manskirt-clad whiny emo we love to hate. I don't give a crap about the little bastard or his stupid desire for revenge (Anakin is bad enough!), but he's all we ever get to see. It's even worse because I've seen (very smart!) people who, for some strange reason I cannot fathom, believe that Gary Stuart Chicken'Ass Sas-Uke Teme Baka Uchiha is not only fine the way he is, but likeable! Despite such sentiment and Kishimoto's obvious attachment to the little abomination, every single thing about him SCREAMS Gary Stu. How the fierfek could Sasuke defeat Deidara? He's only my age, and should be only about chuunin level--Orochimort wouldn't be a good teacher! How in Force's name can he summon Manda, bend him to his will, and use Sharingan all with barely any chakra left? All those jutsus require massive amounts of chakra, and even Orochimort, a frickin' Sannin, had trouble controlling Manda. And how the bloody hell can this stupid little wannabe ninja kill a frickin' Sannin? Orochimort wasn't interested in makin Sasuke stronger; he wanted to rape him. There is no way the little prick could have killed Orochimort. But wait--that's not the least of it. Suffice it to say that the next thing Sasgay did was rip out my heart, step on it, crush it, pee on it, and scatter the pieces everywhere. I've had it, Kishimoto! Nothing from Sasuke vs. Deidara onward is true! Uchiha Itachi is not dead, never has been dead, and WILL NEVER DIE. Ever. In a million years. How come you nearly kill Hinata and break my Romeo's heart, yet then you have her live, but when you break mine, you leave it broken? Is it because I have two X chromosomes or something? Gimme that little bastard and lemme rip his nonexistent balls clean off! And aren't Hachibi and Kyuubi SUPPOSED to be as strong as gods? What's this? The Sharingan can repress the Kyuubi? WTF? If it could do that, Kishimoto, why the hell did Yondy have to give his life to seal the fox into his son to save Konoha? Couldn't a bunch of Uchihas have stopped the demon? Moreover, why do you have to kill off the coolest, funniest characters? What purpose do those character deaths serve? Force forbid you dare kill off some REALLY HATED villains, like perhaps... hm, I don't know, SASUKE? If you wanted him to be the protagonist, you should have called the damn manga Sasuke! And even that would be no excuse for his blatant Gary Stu-ness! Any worse and you could throw in a crappy, unrealistic, Stephanie Meyer-esque sorry excuse for romance between Sasuke and Sakura. No, wait, that actually doesn't seem that bad. I meant to say any worse and poor Hinata will end up with that Uchiha bastard! And if that happens, Kishimoto, I promise you, I will have to take drastic measures. Aaaaaaaannnnndddd the plotline just goes further down the toilet with every page of manga. And to think there was at least some light at the end of the tunnel! See, Kishi, this is why I understand the legions of Naruto haters out there on the 'Net and have made friends with some. Sure, the rabid fans do contribute to their hate, much like (slightly less rabid) Twilighters, but YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF. I am a fan of your creation because of your beautiful art and amazing, colorful characters. These people hate it because of your horrendously shoddy writing and your Sue/Stuifying of said beautiful, and not-so-beautiful, characters. If I ever turn my own work into crap, and people who once loved me as a writer turn against me, I will deserve every Force-forsaken bit of it. Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!: KinKitsune01, adngo714, MarlinMan, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you hate NejiHina copy and paste this into your profile. NaruHina does not equal SasuSaku! If you like NaruHina but HATE SasuSaku, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't think Deidara looks that much like a girl, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nickname "Chicken Butt Hair Dude" copy and paste this into your profile while laughing your head off! If you support the "Sasuke and Naruto are NOT Gay" cause, copy and paste this into your profile. Because they are NOT!! If you can hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. (I can hear Itachi saying, "That's my girl.") If your family wonders how you can remember all the Naruto characters' names, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If your family and friends get REALLY ticked off with your constant talking about Naruto, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you love Naruto couples, whatever they may be, as much as the show itself, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you wish with every fiber of your soul that you owned Naruto and have a million "If I owned Naruto" funny disclaimers planned out, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you love and want to marry any Naruto character on the whole show, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Moonlight Music Mistress, SakuraUchiha14, Alicia Kawa Uchiha If you are an Itachi fangirl and just cannot hold it in, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think of Itachi whenever you hear the word "weasel," or see said animal cross your path, copy and paste this into your profile. Stupidest lines ever "Do not eat me when I set you free!" - Delay, the protagonist of "10000 BS" "I don't like sand. It's so coarse. Not like here. Everything is so smooth and soft." - Anakin Crywalker "Oh, it's all for the lulz." - Porn-addicted trolls "I am an avenger." - Gary Stu Uchiha "AAAAAAAA! Organic contamination!" - Sentinel Prime "He lay perfectly still in the grass, shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His skin... literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. A perfect statue of Adonis, carved in glittering marble." - Bella Swan "Bella, I'm a monster! I could hurt you!" - Fugward Cullen "Someone stole my RPC!" - Numerous art thieves whose crappy traces/recolors get traced/recolored "You can't say Merry Christmas because it might offend somebody." - Intolerant leftists "In case of rapture, this car will be driver-less." - Lame Fundamentalist bumper sticker Book of quotes "Dattebayo!" - Naruto "SIT!" - Kagome "I want to change myself, into... something better." - Hinata-chan "Sorry I'm late, I'm afraid I got lost on the road of life." - Kakashi-sensei "Art is a bang, un!" - Deidara-kun "True art lasts forever." - Sasori-danna "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them..." - The One Ring "I am your father." - Darth Vader"Foolish little brother..." - Itachi-kun "If you wish to kill me, curse me, hate me, and survive your miserable life... Run away and cling to life... without honor!" - Itachi-kun "What? Not allowed to write lemons? However do you survive with those parents of yours?" - SorceressEdea7 "Get your foot out of my underwear!" - My brother, Trent "Dat Nar-to. Dat Sock-ra. His name is Chicken!" - My littlest brother, Christopher (we call him Squirt) (He was looking at a picture of Team 7.) "Back off! My Mr. Fluffykins!" - Lin-chan "KURAMAAAAAAAAAA!" - Lin-chan (She's a bit of a horny fangirl when it comes to anything male and fluffy. She always gravitates back to Sesshomaru-sama, though.) "Awesomeful!" - My sister, Megan "Alicia, you have a man in your life; why are you still staring at animated characters?" - My sister, Megan "How come Alicia gets Fanfiction.net and DeviantART, but I still can't have Facebook?" - My sister, Katie "Go away; let me sleep!" - Kyubi-Nemu "Rome wasn't built in a day. True love isn't either." - Me "I want a bite out of you." - Me "I like the prewriting and brainstorming part of writing the most because it makes me feel like I actually have control over something. Then when I edit and see what the people like, I realize that my characters and my audience are taking control away from me. Sometimes I just wish I could cast them out of the proverbial Garden of Eden I call my head." - Kray-kun "Mortal foolishness -- it's the gift that keeps on giving." - Me A few last words While I do enjoy writing for pleasure, you reviewers are a large motivation for me. There's not much point in writing if no one wants to read your stories. I hope you enjoy what I have to offer you. Alicia-chan (Because the world needs more Itachi x Alicia.) | |||||||||||||||
1. What's Meant to Be Will Always Find a Way » reviewsNaruto and Hinata didn't fall in love in a day. It took time for their love to bloom, but it bloomed. Let them tell you their love story in their own words. NaruHina NejiTenten ShikaTem LeeSaku SaiIno KonoHana KakaKure ItaOC SasoOC GaaraOC KibaOCNaruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 85 - Words: 153,852 - Reviews: 949 - Updated: 9-30-09 - Published: 7-29-07 - Hinata H. & Naruto U.2. I, Illiana: An Original Tale » reviewsMy first story. Young Illiana, daughter of Qui-Gon and Tahl, is bookish, cold, and distrustful of others. As she matures, she struggles to find her path in life--and manages to win the heart of one Obi-Wan Kenobi. Majorly AU, Obi-Wan/OCStar Wars - Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 33 - Words: 56,240 - Reviews: 175 - Updated: 9-30-09 - Published: 6-21-07 - Obi-Wan K. & Qui-Gon J.3. I Don't Feel Like Myself Today, Sensei reviewsOur favorite shinobi keep waking up to find themselves not behaving like themselves. But what can they do about it? Pokes fun at OOCness and common OOC cliche plotlines. Not meant to offend anyone.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 4-12-09 - Hinata H.4. A Very Mary Sue Wedding reviewsSasuke and Ebony's wedding. OOC and crackishness, implied and otherwise. Not to be taken seriously. M because I say so.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,812 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 7-29-08 - Sasuke U. - Complete5. Naruto Shakespeare Tales: Midsummer Night's Dream » reviewsWilliam Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, starring Naruto characters and a few OCs. Part of the Naruto Shakespeare Tales series. NarutoHinata, OCHinata, meItachi, JiraiyaTsunadeNaruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,490 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 6-22-08 - Published: 1-16-08 - Hinata H. & Naruto U.6. Naruto Shakespeare Tales: Twelfth Night reviewsWilliam Shakespeare's play Twelfth Night, starring Naruto characters. Part of the Naruto Shakespeare Tales series. NarutoHinata, NejiSakura, KakashiShizuneNaruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 822 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-8-08 - Hinata H. & Naruto U.7. Naruto Shakespeare Tales: Romeo and Juliet reviewsWilliam Shakespeare's play "Romeo and Juliet", starring Naruto characters. Part of the Naruto Shakespeare Tales series. TemeSakura, onesided GaaraSakuraNaruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 760 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-8-08 - Sakura H. & Sasuke U.8. The Courtship of Princess Tsunade » reviewsAfter the untimely death of her fiance, Dan, Tsunade is grieving and Orochimaru and Jiraiya decide to use that to get close to her and win her heart. OroTsuJir, slightly AUNaruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 5-15-08 - Published: 1-16-08 - Tsunade S. & Jiraiya9. 20 Things Akatsuki Members are Not Allowed to Do » reviewsTitle is self-explanatory. Requests welcome! R&RNaruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,719 - Reviews: 149 - Updated: 3-13-08 - Published: 2-12-08 - Itachi U. - Complete10. My valentine reviewsIt's Valentine's Day in Konoha and love is in the air. Let Team 9 show you how it goes. NaruHinaOC and Ita x me. Valentine's Day gift for Kray Torishi.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,720 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-14-08 - Complete11. A Tribute to the Jedi Order reviewsA simple poem I wrote for school and decided to upload. Title is pretty much self explanatory.Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-11-07 - Complete
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