SuperN-Gaspard

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since	: 06-19-07, id: 1304966, Profile Updated: 03-23-09
country	: Canada
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My name is SuperN; I like Naruto the Manga and Anime. Please click my HomePage. You may want to hide my Bio as it's mostly irrelevent dribble.

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Favourite Characters

- Sage of the Six Paths

- Minato Namikaze

Nagato / Pain

- Itachi Uchiha

Kyuubi no Youko

- Jiraiya

Konan

- Haku

- Kimimaro

- Sixth and Seventh Jinchuuriki

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You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

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Forty- Six laws of Anime:

Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn; gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming; it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-KO phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustibility
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts manoeuvres.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) Be female
b) Will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)And wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Agglutination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections; they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.

44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

45. Law of Uninterruptible Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

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Here Are Some Quotes I Have Found Funny:

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that a lot of people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Life is sexually transmitted.

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead!!" ??

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Get the last word in: Apologize.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, yet you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

As I lay in bed last night, looking up at the stars and the moon, I thought to myself, 'Where the hell is my ceiling?'

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

One day we'll look back at this moment, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

Randomness is the base of conversation.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

You couldn't find water even if you fell out of a boat.

I'm going as a guy dressed up like a girl, who likes a guy.

He's a couple all by himself!

I'm not crazy I’m just ... well, I’m not crazy!

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Would you follow Jesus this close?

Never mess with a guy wearing make-up. They mean business.

It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.

Friends are there to hear the song in my heart and clue me into it when my memory fails.

A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.'

I have PMS and a gun. EXCUSE ME. You were saying?

I can go from chick to BITCH in 3.5 seconds!

It's been lovely, but I have to SCREAM now.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot
Warning: Survivors will be shot again.

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?

Suicide is a way of telling God: 'You can't fire me, I QUIT!'

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me.

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

God has a cruel sense of humor.

I have no predjucis. I hate everyone equally.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.

Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy.

Age...a matter of feeling, not years.

We grow small trying to be great.

You are only what you are when no one is looking.

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.

War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.

We are not retreating...we are advicing in another direction.

My mother told me never to talk to strangers...I never talk to myself anymore.

I've always wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my enemy to go swimming.

Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'll take over.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot off his/her head!

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.

Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm required to have a lot of common sense. Or any, for that matter...

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

I didn't deny it! I just didn't admit it!

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

I just thought of something funny...your mother.

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

There are two ways to argue with a woman. Neither one works.

I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed man.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. ..

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes..

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie." - Shakespeare

A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass...but you, my friend can kiss my ass!

You called me a bitch. A bitch is a female dog, and dogs bark. Bark is found on trees. Trees are part of nature, and nature is beautiful, so I take that as a compliment.

Why don't the voices in my head include me in their conversation?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

-Gets dragged away by guys in unnaturally clean white shirts-

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I have discovered the equation to go over the top in everything!

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 percent
and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 percent

but
A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent

and,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASS KISSING that will put you over the top.

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I have some questions...

Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

If a cow laughs does milk come out its nose?

If the opposite of pro is con, then, what's the opposite of progress?

If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2?

When the "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business, did they see it coming?

Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If the sky is the limit, then is space over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?!

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"??

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?

If two wrongs don't make a right, why do two negatives make a positive?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it Fed UP?

If quitters never win and winners never quit how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

If olive oil comes from olives where does baby oil come from?

Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?

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§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§§æ§æ§æ§For information on things I use in my story go to:

http://www.kyokipress.com/wings/honorifics.html

http://forums.narutofan.com/showthread.php?t=57918

http://www.leafninja.com/

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