Hello, Hello, Hello

I am the Demon Spawn of Konoha’s very own Demon Brat

Alias: Kyuto

Sex: M

Age: Legal

I’m a simple guy, with a simple life, trying to get a record company off the ground.

Naruto, DBZ (Cell and Buu sagas; after Perfect Cell was achieved, and Buu was awakened), Full Metal Alchemist (I watched it when it came on, but that was it), Eureka 7 (same as FMA), Yu Yu Hakasho, Read Or Die

Harry Potter, Stephen King (Carrie, The Shining, Fire Starter, Christine, Pet Semetary, It, and although it was a made for television movie and not a book, Rose Red)

Naruto and Harry Potter mainly, some DBZ, some cartoons

I also like to read (and try to write) stories that pit characters in positions that while not truly harmful, leave them thinking “Why me?”

Like one idea I had, where Tsunade discovers some changes Kyuubi has made to Naruto’s body to help keep him alive longer, a new bloodline if you will. The council decides make use of it, and combine it with the other clan bloodlines.

My take on Mary Sues and Self Inserts as it pertains to Naruto, I won’t even go into. It’s too easy to go off on a never ending rant that would waste time and space. I will say that strong ninja are common in this world, so having a strong self insert could be acceptable. This person should not be all powerful though, like beating the entire Akatsuki alone powerful. Taking on all three Sannin without breaking a sweat strong. Nor making the Fourth look like a Genin strong. Personally, if I were to do a self insert, strength and skill wise, he’d be like Itachi without the Sharingan. Furthermore, he‘d probably lose to Itachi; and would be dead without some tricks up his sleeve. See, strong, but not unbeatable, plus I think Itachi is dope shit anyway.

My take on Super Naruto’s is this: not likely or probable, but not impossible. If you look at what he accomplished with a definite handicap in part one; Haku, Kiba, Neji, Gaara, and even holding his own against a Sasuke evolution that I believe would have given Jounin trouble, then the possibility of a super Naruto is very really possible. In part two, after training with Jiraiya, he was able to eventually cripple a member of the Akatsuki with a single attack (the fact that he got close enough to Kakuzu, a man who fought against the Shodaime, to land the attack, alone when it took that entire group for Kakashi to hit him with a Chidori). Imagine Naruto with a bloodline, or even having been trained from an early age like his classmates. Naruto’s learning potential alone is enough to show that post time skip, he could possibly take on most of the Akatsuki one on one had he started training as early as his classmates. While maybe not up to Itachi (13 yr old Anbu captain) standards, he could have rivaled Neji or Sasuke with ease.

Is it me, or does Naruto have a ‘heat of the moment’ complex. It seems to me, that in not only fanfiction, but in canon as well, that he seems to struggle with basic ninja skills until he needs them in a fight. Then all of a sudden, he can do it with nearly no difficulty. I think it’s the fact that he’s not really thinking about it too much, more like reacting with it.

This is my take on the debate of the Yondaime being Naruto’s father. I think he is, and there is more than enough evidence to prove it. First and foremost, is the fact that they are the only two in the whole village with that color hair and eyes (I‘m talking shade matches as well). Second, both Jiraiya and Sarutobi, who were very close to Yondaime, seem to have taken to looking after Naruto. Both have moments when they apologize, or make references to Yondaime when dealing with Naruto. Even if he was trying to prevent the Akatsuki from getting Naruto, Jiraiya still took to Naruto extremely quickly. There are also similarities between the two that are seeming less and less like coincidence. Summoning toads, the Rasengan, riding on the head of Gamabunta to face off against a demon (or incarnation of one), and I‘m sure they‘ll just keep coming until it‘s finally revealed. Plus, do you really think he’d be cruel enough to just pick a baby at random? (No longer relevantly needed, since being proven correct, but what the hell?) I could even see Pein being his uncle or something. On that note, what if Karin from Sound was related to Naruto, seeing as that most of the Sound ninja aren’t really from that area. I could see her being his sister, or a cousin. I also noticed that Pein resembles Karin, and that both have red hair and eyes.

I don’t know why, but I love the idea of an Itachi trained Naruto. It just seems so justified don’t you think. I know he’s in the Akatsuki, and his target is Naruto, but just think of how dope that would be. I’m sure Jiraiya is a good teacher (just look at the Yondaime), but Itachi would be same caliber instruction, and with less distraction from peeping. Not only that, but he’d have Kisame to teach him how to use a sword, it’s perfect. Alas, they are unable to explore this possibility due to allegiances, and the fact that Itachi likely wouldn‘t care to do it. Sucks a bit don’t it.

I only have two pet peeves about harem fics. First, I have a problem with all those fics that have a Konoha bred and raised Naruto with a harem that doesn’t include Hinata. I know a lot of people don’t like the fact that it’s done to death, but if anyone deserves the guy she wants it’s Hinata. The girl has put in the crush time, so come on people, throw the girl a bone(r). Even if it’s a point where they date and decide to be good friends instead. The second ties into the first. I cannot stand the fics that have Sakura in the group, but leave out Hinata. After spending her academy, and early team days bashing his skull in because he got in the way of her and Sasuke, she doesn’t seem to be a better choice than the girl that’s liked and admired the boy for as long as Pinky has been scrambling his brains. Just my thoughts.

Hey, wouldn’t it have been completely fucked up if Pein was Nawaki. He has the same basic head silhouette.

I’ve seen a lot of Mary Sues, and self inserts, and I thought I might share my thoughts on the subject. As far as Mary Sues, I think some of them have merit, as long as they aren’t God like, or ridiculously powered. Like a character that can kill off a hundred people with a wave of their hand (Unless its plainly stated that the entity is a divine being. Then you have to have a good reason why said being would be there in the first place.). Now an extremely powerful character I can understand, hell Dumbledore and Voldemort are, but there should be some kind of limit or consequence to the use of so much power. I also get sick of the invincible characters. Hell, everyone has weaknesses except divine beings (again see above). There is also the issue of having someone that can bring the dead back to life. Now I can understand the concept of Necromancy, but even permanent summons have extreme, and sometimes dire consequences.

On the subject of self-inserts, I think that two main principles should be forced into implementation. First, they must be within the realm of reality in the fic. If you make your insert a Mary Sue, then they must follow the aforementioned Mary Sue rules. Second, self inserts that have long term, huge plot changing roles must either die for the cause, or be sacrificed, etc. Simply put, self-inserts must join the deceased column by the story’s end, unless they play a part in the sequel. Minor self inserts that just pop in to say hello, and then aren’t heard from again are fine though.

Is it me, or is there a recurring theme in independent Harry fics. I seem to notice that it’s always Moody, Moony, The Twins, or Tonks who are the first to laugh, smile, snicker, snort, or crack a grin when Harry states his independence and clowns Dumbledore. It also seems to be in that order for most consistency in the act unless they aren‘t with him.

There is only a couple things that I hate about reading fan fiction, and one also corresponds with the reason I have so many Plot ideas for a story, but I haven’t written any of them. I’ll think of something that would make a interesting scene or story, and then I read a fan fic that’s already done it. This has happened to so many ideas I’ve had, that I have several incomplete stories and story pieces that I can’t finish, because all of the ideas that I come up with that I think are original, I see in someone else’s fic. Ex. Naruto: having Kyuubi as a summon; having Kyuubi as his mother. I may say the hell with trying to write, and just read.

The other thing is when you find a story that has a kick ass plot, and you can tell it’s going to be good just from the first few paragraphs, but it’s so horribly written that you can barely understand it. I mean disgusting sentence structure, no sense of a paragraph, and no punctuation. To top it off, you can’t tell dialogue from the story’s body, nor when the conversation switches from one person to the next. Finding stories like these irk me to no end. Please people, that’s what betas are for. Even the really good writers use them to catch mistakes that may have slipped through.

This next ramble has nothing to do with fanfiction, but is something that I feel needs to be said. This is a public service announcement for women everywhere. Any book written by women, about guy’s emotions, is completely bullshit. A guys emotions are quite different from women, and aren’t even fully functioning half the time. Most men’s emotions aren‘t even fully definable, so for a woman to give advice on them is ludicrous, and if they are, then the guy is probably gay (not saying it‘s a bad thing, to each his own I say), and naturally more in touch with his emotions that the rest of us anyway.

This also ties in with the other ramble. For those girls that like to sit around, and drop hints that they like a guy, STOP IT!!! Most guys aren’t going to catch the hint, and end up moving on to someone else that‘s a little more obvious. You’ve made all this progress with women’s rights, well exercise your right to ask a guy out for once. Don’t wait for us, there are too many things already working against us. Not knowing whether a girl is interested, the fact that girls seem to travel in packs, and simply the fact that we don’t understand women just to name a few. Don’t be afraid to make the first move, it doesn’t mean that chivalry is dead, just that we sometimes can‘t take a hint.

Harry/Any of the Black Sisters

Harry/Tonks

Harry/Delaceur girls- Gabrielle must be done correctly, and w/o pedophilia issues; Fleur and their mom are fair game

Harry/Slytherin girls

Harry/Hufflepuff girls

Harry/Ravenclaw girls- except Cho, too obvious

Harry/Older Gryffindor girls- Angie, Alicia, Katie mainly

Harry/Petunia- good time travel and revenge fics kick ass (payback’s a bitch and so is his aunt, so why not fuck her like one in heat)

Harry/Lily- time travel is weird like that huh, and in their defense, she wasn’t his mother at the time

Ron/Hermione- especially in the ones where she makes him her bitch; I am deeply amused when I see references to the sound of a whip cracking in reference to Ron’s being whipped

Neville/Luna- They both have their quirks, and they kind of compliment each other

Neville/Ginny- I think that they make a much better pair than H/G (besides, I think he already popped her cherry; Neville comes back to the dorm room far too giddy in Goblet of Fire not to have tagged that)

Harry/multi or Harem- watching him stress with all those ladies is fun

Nar/Hin- This is my favorite couple, and then it's not. While I like reading stories where Naruto is paired with her, sites are so saturated that I only read really good fics with this pairing. I don't like how people make them fall for each other over night; that's why sometimes it's not. I like this couple, because it’s fucking adorable, and the epitome of innocence; that, and for some reason it just feels right. I’ve seen pictures people have drawn of the two as a couple, and they just seem to go together like Naruto and ramen; the perfect compliment. This is my perfect couple, and one I won't hesitate to put in if I can't think of a better one to fit a story.

Nar/female Kyuubi- I mean really, she’s been with him since he was a day old, you gotta think she’d eventually go soft on him.

Nar/fem!Haku- I know the series says that Haku is a guy, but I still have my doubts. First of all, Haku looked and sounded way too feminine. Second, it is possible that s/he used bindings across the chest to conceal the womanly assets, and to give the illusion of a boy. Really, binding an A cup, or even a modest B cup can give the illusion of a male’s chest if done properly people; I know, I‘ve seen it done (friend of mine studies Tae Kwon Do, and she binds a C cup and it just looks like a buff guy‘s chest). Not to mention that Haku’s whole demeanor just screamed ‘I’m a girl’. I’ve also seen the manga version of Haku, and there is no way you’re going to convince me that Haku is a guy; even if s/he said so. In none of the pictures in the manga I’ve seen, has Haku looked even remotely masculine. The kid even looks more feminine than Sakura, and that‘s as girly as you can get at that point.

Nar/Kurenai- demon vessel and demon eyes, you can't miss

Nar/Anko- who wouldn’t want a piece of Anko

Nar/Tsunade- guilty pleasure

Nar/girls from Sound- what can I say, Kin is strong and gorgeous (like Ino in part ii), and Tayuya is a bad bitch all around (she’s a strong kunoichi, and she’s hella hot); and just because they are from the Sound village, I’d make them screamers

Nar/practically any girl but Sakura- especially Temari or women from another village; OC or canon

Nar/fem!demon or demon container- meh, it works in its own way

Jiraiya/Tsunade- is it me, or do they just ooze UST

Gaara/Hinata- I know this is an unlikely pairing, but they’d be good for each other. She’s seems like the type of girl that can love the unloved.

Iruka/Anko- the nice guy, and the crazy girl can’t miss

Lee/Sakura- only once she’s gotten her head out of her ass, and gives other guys a chance; I also think that someone else would have to take notice of him first for her to take a good look at him

Gai/Shizune- I haven’t the slightest clue why, but this couple seems like it could work. They both have an innocent quality to them (overlooking their extremely violent professions, of course), and would likely compliment each other; she might even be able to help him mellow out. It would be the perfect way for Gai to counter Kakashi's hipness.

Nar/multi or Harem- same statement applies as with Harry, plus these are kinda funny, especially when massive nosebleeds are involved that are comically written, (usually when the girl is someone very sure of their sexuality, and Naruto suffers from a slight case of naivety with the opposite sex)

Orochimaru/Kabuto- Not a fan of yaio (it‘s wrong-sick), but who doesn’t see this one coming

Orochimaru/Sasuke- Again, not a fan of yaio (still grosses me out, and is still wrong-sick), but wouldn’t it be poetic justice; run away from the girl who loves you, right to a sicko that wants your body (and not just for the jutsu)

Harry/Hermione- while plausible, it’s just an odd feeling couple; and she seemed way too pissed at Ron having a girlfriend in HBP, than when Harry had a date with Cho in OOTP

Harry/Ginny- Mainly because of the saturation, and I like to see things go dif than canon. But I’ll go with it if the story is good. Like Melindaleo’s ‘Power of Emotions’, and the sequel ‘Curse of the Damned’. (Phoenixsong.net)

Harry/Cho- unless it’s believably written

Harry/any dude- can’t do it

Nar/Sakura- To me they just don’t fit. I also can’t stand where they follow canon to a certain point [time jump then have Sakura suddenly fall for Naruto. No way pal, if she wanted him, then she should have returned his affections sooner. Now if it’s a story where she got her head out of her ass before Sasuke ran off, then maybe I’ll give it a chance. I honestly believe that Sakura cares for Naruto, but I think it’s more of a general sense, almost like a sister if even that close. I think she cares for Naruto, about the same way one would care for their village; I doubt though, that she has any true emotional ties to him.

Nar/any dude- no offense to slash fans, but two dudes like that just urk me to no end

Kakashi/Kurenai- no offense to fanfic writers, but unless she’s with Naruto, Asuma, or an OC, then the pairing just seems too forced, and weird

Gai/nearly anyone- Not that I'm not fond of Gai getting some, he just seems too entrenched in his youth to even look at a woman in that way

Male- Naruto (underdogs with tons of hidden potential rule), Gaara (What is there not to like about Gaara, he’s fucking gangsta), and Itachi (He killed his entire clan at thirteen, nuff said; straight pimp), Lee (watch Lee‘s fight with Gaara, and you‘ll know why; he was unconscious, and still ready to continue the match)

Female- Temari (she’s like a female Gaara, just not as homicidal), Kurenai (I love her eyes, period; and can you imagine all the kinky shit you can get into with a Genjutsu Mistress), Anko (nuff said), Tsunade (What can I say, I’m a breast man), Tayuya (she kicks ass, and she’s hot), Kin (to quote her, she was a deadly kunoichi, without having to sacrifice her looks; just like the women that precede her in this list) while not one of my favorite characters, I do like Hinata (I mean really, how can you not like someone that adorable?)

Male- Harry, Twins (how can you not), Neville (he’s got potential)

Female- Luna (She’s off the wall, and can shut people up with any range of misplaced comments), Tonks (she seems like a fun character), Fleur (I don’t know why, I just do. With her, I like the stories that portray her in a role other than the French tart, I mean she was a Tri-Wizard Champ people), Bellatrix (I like the against Voldemort, but still has evil, crazy bitch tendencies Bellatrix; plus she‘s hot)

If I could have any girl from any anime or book series (this doesn‘t necessarily mean all at once, I‘d take any one I could get) This is something a friend and I were doing one day when we were bored stupid.

Tsunade (50+ or not, she could get it)

Akatsuki chick

Fubuki (from the first Naruto movie)

Anko

Kurenai

Temari

Kin

Tayuya

Ino (pt 2)

Hinata (pt 2)

Shizune- Helllooooo Nurse

Hana- one word; doggystyle

Tsume- See Hana

Tsunami- MILF

Karin- something about glasses

Uchiha Mikoto- See Tsunami

Princess Yukie

Tenten- she kinda reminds me of Chun-Li, and I likes Chun-Li

Black Sisters (Andromeda, Bellatrix, or Narcissa)

Tonks

Lily

Fleur

Luna

Padma

Parvati and Padma

Su Li

Pansy

Bulma

Android 18

Chichi

Videl

Pan (older, post dragons saga)

Bra- not so much as the others considering her father

Marron- Krillin’s daughter, not her shallow, moronic, namesake

Mrs. Briefs

Erasa

ROD

Yomiko

Nancy

Michelle

Nenene

Anemone (Eureka 7)- with the exception of the crazy spells, I kinda fell for her

Talho (Eureka 7)- what can you say, she was hot

Gidget (Eureka 7)- yes, she was a bit of an airhead, but it was kinda cute in an endearing sort of way

Lust (Fullmetal Alchemist)- she was fucking hot, point blank

Winry (Fullmetal Alchemist)- everybody loves the girl next door

Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist)- I don’t really know why

Jessica Rabbit

Officer Jenny (Pokemon)

Nurse Joy (Pokemon)

Chun Li (Street Fighter)

Cammy (Street Fighter)

As I’ve shopped around different sites looking for stories, I’ve come across some quotes on profile pages that I thought were absolutely genius. If you recognize one marked unknown from somewhere, let me know so that I can give credit where it is due.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

"It takes real guts to admit you're a coward."

Something taken is worthless, but something earned is worth everything.

Shit happens, find a toilet

Life’s a bitch, put it on a leash.

If hate breeds more hate, then wear a rubber and hate all you want.

Who says beggars can’t be choosers, I could have just robbed you

When life beats you down, think of Apollo Creed in Rocky 4, and keep your ass there

When life throws you lemons, cut’em open and squirt the juice in its eye.

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.

When life throws you lemons, throw them at someone else.

My girlfriend is a cannibal...she eats kids by the millions.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.

Whoever came up with ‘Sticks and stones...’ obviously didn’t take into account the viciousness of today’s youth.

I feel the ‘urge to merge.

I like fleshy pink tacos, with extra special sauce

When life throws you lemons, throw them back twice as hard.

When life gives you shit…Put it in a bag and set it on fire.

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: ‘One. But it takes ten episodes, two level ups, Piccolo and all the human fighters dying and getting revived, and someone getting pecks the size of tires to do it.’ –Uzumaki Harry by: (fanfiction.net)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, Demonic Dragon Knight, NarutosBrat

I'm also going to have a poll in the first story I write. I have several plot bunnies that have over active hormones, and I'm going to leave it up to the readers which one I should devote my time to.