Hello everyone! I'm new here and I hope to be a writer some day so I thought why not start here.

My real name is (mumbles under breathe), and that's spelled without a Q.

I hail from the US, specifically that one state next to that other state that is shaped like a rock.

My favorite genre to read is fantasy and my favorite movie genre is comedy. My favorite movie is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Second runner up is Young Frankenstein.

If I read a series of books or watch a group of movies I have to know what happens or else I go crazy... er.

I like music of almost every kind excluding most rap, polka music, and the theme song of Bonanza.

On anything I write I only want CONSTRUCTIVE or nice reviews, no flames.

Also, Soylent Green is people!!!

Thanks to everyone who got that.

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famously
erudite scientist and comic who once said:

"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by
exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us, to our
amazement and amusement.

Here are some of his gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99 of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend...but she left me before we
met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever...so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the
bread.

28 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research.

29 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

30 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch
up.

31 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to
be on it.

32 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

33 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your
headlights work?

If you would like to check out some of my original work you can go to http://www.fictionpress..com/u/582307/ .

Finally, to anybody who reads a story, please review. Whether you like it or give suggestions as to how I could make it better.

IF YOU READ, REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!