|He Who Hides In Plain Sight|
Location: The Evergreen State.
Height: 6ft 1in.
Weight: Don't know don't care
Favorite Color: Either Navy Blue or Evergreen.
Favorite Animal: Fox
Favorite Mythical Creature: Kitsune, with Western Dragons coming in a close 2nd.
Be warned that I created this account strictly for reviewing purposes, so don't expect any stories.
Some people will never change until the long arm of the law smashes their teeth in with a fistful of justice!
They cut so many corners making this thing, it’s a fucking circle!
I am not the child of the Devil! We have a completely professional working relationship.
Hot Pocket flavored Hot Pockets: redundant, AND delicious!
Alright, jackass, why don’t you just step off the crazy train and rejoin us in reality.
You know you’re in love when even the Voice of Dissent in your head is telling you to grow a pair and ask her out.
You will treat her right. This I know. Because if you hurt her in any way, shape, or form, I will hunt you down and make sure you die a long and painful death.
If you expect the unexpected, does that then make the formerly expected, the now unexpected? And if so, you would now need to expect that, making what was formerly unexpected, then expected, unexpected again. But then you would have to... Okay, I just confused myself.
There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM, but there is in WIN and VICTORY.
And yea, did the Scarred Man come forthe from the Pool of the Dead, to wreaketh havoc, and kicketh much ass.
A gray area in math is like this: you've got yourself a problem to solve; it takes you awhile, but you finally figure it out, and then are told not only are you wrong, but there were six other ways to solve it, only three of which actually make any sense.
I said shaken, not stirred!!
Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives.
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile
All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!
One bright day in the middle of the night
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says,
If Milli Vanilli falls down in the woods, does someone else make a sound?
PIRACY: We're not pirates, we're preemptive nautical salvage experts.
Q: What do you call an entire civilzation that defies Chuck Norris?
Insanity, Sesshoumaru decided, just wasn't for him. He wasn't even certain that he had been doing it right, anyway.
...Ya know, in some animal species, you would have been killed by now.
The trouble with real life is that there's no background music. -Unkown
Crazy? I was once crazy, but then I died and they buried me and the bugs ate me. Bugs? Bugs drive me crazy! Crazy? I was once crazy... -Unknown
Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography. -Unknown
Rules are like paperclips: meant to keep things together, fun to bend, and easily twisted out of shape. -Unknown
There is no problem the human mind cannot solve or create. -Unknown
Step One is learning the ropes.
Step Two is chewing through them.
“Man is here!” he grunts. “Man bring food! Put food on fire to cook! Pee on fire to put out! Never get invited back!”
-Angelo Espinosa, fanfic ‘Uncanny Deadpool’
"My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!!"
- Vash (Trigun)
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attention of many males to my place of residence. And they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours. Absolutely, it far surpasses yours. I could convey to you the recipe, but I would require a small sum.
It takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell people to bite me
“Good. But if you hurt KP or try and steal my best friend from me, we’re going to have words.” His smile turned to a wolfish grin. “Sharp, pointy words. Perhaps sharp, pointy objects. And I don’t promise not to non-surgically rearrange your skeletal structure. KP isn’t the only one who knows how to fight.”
THEM KANGAROOS GOT POCKETS BUILT IN!! DAMN!! I PAY FOR MY POCKETS, BTCH! I DON'T GOT 'EM FREE!! MOTHERFUCKIN' LOOTIN' ROOS!! I SEE YOU ON MY BLOCK IT'S GUNSHOTS!!
And a Laz-E-Bastard, almost by definition, must be more comfortable than a Laz-E-Boy.
A Laz-E-Bastard must inspire jealously, it must afford the person sitting in it numerous opportunities to be a ginourmous dick. Its wheels are constructed from space-age carbon composites for maximum toe-crushing ability. It offers approximately seventy-nine different types of massages (a great supplement to Preparation-H), all of which are designed to disrupt the concentration of everyone in the immediate vicinity, and in some cases, cause involuntary diarrhea. And perhaps Dana Carvey-level Royal Horniness . It is also doubles as a wheelchair powered by eggplant somen.
Its seat is dyed black and quadruple-stitched from the pelt of only the fattest baby harp seals, bartered in exchange for a motorcycle sculpted from dry ice, and from only the drunkest of Yup’ik Tribesmen.
The Laz-E-Bastard makes you better than EVERYONE ELSE. This is a scientifically proven fact (1).
(1) This is a lie.
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all of its students." - Louis Hector Berlioz
"My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come real handy when you're gambling. C'mon four billion! F! Seven! Not even close!" - Mitch Hedberg
“If you cant astound the world with your knowledge, then baffle them with your bullshit!” -Unknown
Stress: That confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
-Old “Stress” Poster Belonging to My Dad
When Chuck Norris adds milk to Rice Krispies, they shut the fuck up. -Chuck Norris Facts Database
You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here.
-Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas." -Unknown
There's one rule that applies to anything and everything in life; If it doesn't work for you, burn it. -Unknown
Drink Coffee: Do stupider things faster, with more energy. -Unknown
"F" is for Fires that burn down the whole town!
"U" is for Uranium BOMBS!!
"N" is for No survivors!!
"...I've heard similar things from fools whose memories I keep alive by dancing on their tombstones!" -Inuyasha
"Can't sleep the clowns will eat me...
Can't sleep the clowns will eat me...
Can't sleep the clowns will eat me..."
"You're looking at me like I wanna see your face!" -Jacqui
"Here's to you,
Here's to me,
Best friends we will always be,
And if somehow we disagree,
To hell with you, here's to me!"
-Magnet at Spencer's
"I can't go to work today, the voices said, "Stay home and clean the guns"" -Keychain
"If at first you don't succeed, say fuck it cuzz if it REALLY mattered you'da done it right the first time." -Unknown
"Because if you two assholes mess with the kids again, I'm going to ring in the new year by drinking eggnog out of your fucking hollowed-out skulls and giving my little niece your fucking spine to use as a jump rope." -Inuyasha Fanfic
"Hmm... yes, but keep in mind: it is possible that I'm QUITE horrendously insane." -JTHM
MESSAGE ON JOHNNY'S TOMBSTONE: "NNY: Don't weep, he probably would have killed you." -JTHM
"Life sucks. Get a Fucking helmet, okay?" -Dennis Leary
"Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct." -Dennis Leary
"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with."
"I will not bond. I will not share. I refuse to nurture." -Dennis Leary
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day." -Dean Martin
"Death is a gift; give it to your enemies!" -Unknown
"I'm going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts!" -Evil Santa Claus on Futurama
"Life without danger is a waste of oxygen." -Unknown
"Suicide Hotline...please hold." -Unknown
"Hi. I'm probably home right now, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
-Answering Machine Message
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps." -Carl Zwanzig
"I can't believe this. I'm escaping a house full of assholes so I can live in a world where they're not in chains." -JTHM
"Witty closing remarks have been replaced by massive head trauma and severe hemorrhaging." -JTHM
"Shit. I'm gonna go kill a party clown." -JTHM
"Smile you fucker!" -JTHM
"If I could do it all over again, I'd kill more people." -Keychain
"HOLY PIGSHIT BATMAN!" -Happy Noodle Boy
"I don't wanna die like I've lived. I want a companion in this. SO PUT ON A HAPPY FACE, LET'S MAKE THIS PLEASANT!" -JTHM
"To achieve THIS shot, we first made a plaster mold of the actors head. We then filled it with cow parts. Then, for realism, we surprised the actor by blowing a hole through his head." -JTHM
"Oh my god, IT'S GOD!" -JTHM
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.” -Ed Furgol
"Thank you for Not Smoking. Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure. It contaminates the air, and pollutes my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs. This takes place without my consent. I have a pleasure, also. I like a beer now and then. The residue of my pleasure is urine. Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and pissed on your head and clothes without your consent?" -Sign from Ken's Magic Shop
PRINCIPAL: "Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul."
BILLY MADISON: "A simple "no" would have done just fine."
"...This part of the application asks for your ethnic group. I'll just put "poor white trash" unless there's something more specific..." -Dilbert
"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence." -Unknown
"Faith may be defined briefly as an illegal belief in the occurrence of the improbable- a man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass, he is actually ill." -Unknown
"Ah shit, you're gonna try to cheer me up, aren't you?" -Sticker
Zero's grin was absolutely evil. "Yeah, well let's see how 'infantile' I can be, shall we?" And then he laid into a verbal onslaught that would have made the entire Navy blush. He dug through his entire cache of put-downs, slurs, and offensive four letter words-which, as mentioned before, is quite extensive and spans several different languages. The bashing lasted about ten minutes straight, and Zero had to smile inwardly as he went at Sigma's reaction-or rather, his deadly lack of reaction. Zero knew that the only reason he hadn't been killed yet was because Sigma thought he could be swayed to the Maverick cause and that he shouldn't be pushing his luck, but at the moment, he didn't care. Finally, Zero finished off with an "...and the horse you came in on!"
-Mega Man Fanfic
" Where's Fut and Ago?" asked Kagome to change the subject.
" They're back at the castle, Jaken is babysitting." Said Reia.
" AHHHHH!" Jaken screamed as he wiggled in the chains that tied him to the table. Above him a giant ax blade swung back and forth, slowly making its way down to him. The twins chuckled in the doorway. -Inuyasha Fanfic
“Some people are like a slinky; not really good for anything, but you can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.” -T-shirt
"War is cruelty. The sooner you make your enemies realize this, the sooner they will surrender."
-General Sherman (might have gotten this one wrong)
"In your life, there is only one set of rules worth playing by: yours." -Greywolf (Author)
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You'll probably end up eating the one with the crusty white filling that'll leave you sick for days." -Greywolfs’ Brother
"It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt." -Mark Twain
“Never explain – your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyways.” -Elbert Hubbard
“Dude, you are one seriously crazed up fruit loop.” -Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” -Winston Churchill
“I came, I saw, I conquered.” -Julius Caesar
“Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.” -Pacific Dragon (Author)
After several minutes of silence Naruto’s thoughts began acting up again.
“Hey Zaiaku, have you ever noticed how people from the Mist are... you know... kinda...” Naruto said trying to gesture with his hands but his mind not knowing the gesture to give. Zaiaku blinked confused at Naruto,
“Well... you know... less like an arrow, more like a rainbow?” Naruto said obviously trying to get something across.
Naruto had noticed how that Mist girl was looking at his Kitsune Sexy no Jutsu and it kinda made him wonder. He had noticed the same thing with Zabuza and Haku but he never mentioned it to ANYONE. -Naruto Fanfiction
“I'm a chronic chocoholic. You got a problem with that, well let's just see you try and get between me and that Nutrageous bar. “ -Greywolf (Author)
"Organized religion is often a convenient vehicle for people's insanity. Politics is often a convenient vehicle for ludicrous and puerile behavior in adults."
"Kagome, this is not a movie. Spying on Miroku and Sango is not going to make things any worse or better for them. Besides, it's none of our business."
"Oh, come on, Inuyasha," she urged. "It'll be fun."
"About as fun as a root canal. No."
"You can help do something nice for your friends."
"How about I just send them a card instead?" This woman did not give up easily.
"Just think of how cute they'll be together."
"In the words of Daffy Duck, cute like a stomach pump."
Kagome paused on the other end for a moment and Inuyasha began to wonder if maybe he had won this time.
"I'll give you twenty bucks," she said at last.
"Deal." She won. "Though I still don't get why this is so important to you."
"You're a guy. I don't expect you to get it, just to go along with it."
-InuyashaKagome, Inuyasha Fanfic
Kagome heard Inuyasha groan behind her a moment later and drop his head back against the divider. She looked back at him questioningly, and he just pointed to the speakers above. "What?"
"This song. Miroku was playing it for a god damn hour before he came down here. Now it's stuck in my head and the only way I can get it out again is to force it out with a bullet." To try and embellish, he held out his hand in the shape of a gun and pressed it to his temple as he spoke.
-Inuyasha, Inuyasha Fanfic
She finally came back with a small assortment of books.
“These are too simple. We need complex stuff. Stuff we can use to fight against . . .” Naruto paused unsure of how to explain who they’d be fighting.
“Voldemort,” said Harry quite strongly.
The woman gasped before looking at Harry and then naturally up at the scar on his forehead.
“Hey, stop looking at my cousin’s scar,” yelled Naruto drawing the attention of the entire shop.
“I’m sorry,” the woman said hastily not wanting to cause a scene more so than Naruto had already done. “I think I have some advanced books in the reserved section. Let me just go get them.”
She hurried into the back and returned a few minutes later with another stack of books. This time Naruto and Harry were both please with her selection. The Assassin’s Guide to Dueling; The Deathtrap of Magic; Making Death Eat Shit; Pain, Pain, and More Pain.
“Those will do,” said Harry with a smile.
-Naruto, Harry, Naruto/Harry Potter Crossover Fanfic
Jesus tap-dancing Christ that was painful! -Inuyasha, Inuyasha Fanfic
Inuyasha was on his way back to the table for the weekly TV club brunch. It was now October and the school was already gearing up for Halloween. Halloween, of course, was Inuyashas’ favorite holiday. It was a day dedicated to free food and rampant hedonism. What's not to like?
-Inuyasha, Inuyasha Fanfic
Just after everyone said “Itadakimasu!” a flash of light from Rin’s seat caught everyone by surprise. Rin grinned and held up a camera that was just spitting out a photo showing Kakashi with his mask down, wide deer-in-the-headlights eyes, giant chipmunk cheeks, and food hanging out of his exposed mouth. Surprisingly, Kakashi’s face was completely normal, no scars or giant fish lips like Naruto had thought. Kakashi chased after Rin trying to get the camera and picture, but the female Jounin kept avoiding all his attempts to get them. -Naruto Fanfic
"Alright, time to launch Operation Circle of Confusion," said Lan.
"Uh, Lan? It looks more like we're forming a triangle with Dex's armies in the center," said Tory.
"I'm just saying that it looks more like a triangle," Tory repeated.
"Fine," Lan muttered, "Triangle of Confusion; Rhombus of Terror, Parabola of Mystery. Who cares? Get the goddamn show on the road!"
“Too tired to talk, though I will say this: In my experience, if you want to break a tough nut, there’s only one solution - Get a tougher nut.”
“Life is what happens when you're making other plans.” -ManonLeChat (Author)
Well good sir, should you ever make the folly of angering me, I shall respond most readily with murdering you and delivering your person to a necrophiliac. -Unknown
"There's no way you could've ridden to freedom on this; it's dead. Are you sure that electric prod wasn't really a taser?" -Firenze, DIMENSION
If stupidity is a disease, your case appears malignant. However, there is a cure. It involves me hitting you mercilessly with a baseball bat. -Unknown
"I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!!" -Unknown
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." -A. Whitney Brown
"Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal." -Demetri Martin
You can't outrun death forever, but you can make the bastard work for it. -Unknown
Never has a problem been so big a small Thermonuclear device couldn't solve it. -Unknown
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers and New York the most toxic waste dumps?
A: New York had first pick.
Shinji is so much of a psychological mess that, as seen in ‘Children of an Elder God’, even exposure to Cosmic Horror can only improve his mental health.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. -Wit and Wisdom
“Join the MACOs!
Explore strange new worlds!
Seek out new life, new civilizations!
And then annihilate them!”
Join the Army!
Travel to exotic, distant lands!
Meet exciting, unusual people!
And kill them!
There once was a chap named Samael
Who's comments went beyond the pale
He thought he did rock,
but only sucked cck
And his life was made up of pure Fail
"Don't think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as having a wide target selection!" -Unknown
Diplomacy: The art of telling a person to go to hell in such a way that he actually looks forward to it. -Unknown
O God, if there is a god, save my soul, if I have a soul. -Ernest Renan
Physics is like sex - it may give practical results, but that’s not why we do it. -Richard Feynman
Big discoveries don't go 'Eureka', they go 'Huh, this is funny.’ Sometimes they make a more disturbing 'Oh shit!' -Unknown
You could probably replicate it by putting a wasp next to a spider, playing some Slipknot in the background, and pouring red and green Gummi Bears on whoever wins. -Unknown
Hey you! What are you doing in my house!!
...wait this isn't my house.
Where the fuck am I!?
Holding a grudge is like swallowing poison in the hopes that your enemy will die. -Unknown
If it's not fatal, it's no big deal. -A Coffee Mug
"I can picture in my mind's eye a world without war, a world without hate, and I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
- Jack Handy
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." - Will Rogers
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright
"If you can't convince them, confuse them." - Harry S. Truman
"A common mistake that people make trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
- Douglas Adams
"You can always trust the Americans. In the end they do the right thing. After they have eliminated all other possibilies." -Winston Churchill
"Destiny is what you are supposed to do in life. Fate is what kicks you in the ass to do it." -Henry Miller
"May he who has screwed over your day have his crotch infested by the fleas of a thousand camels, and may his arms be too short to scratch it. Amen."
-The officer worker's prayer
"Happiness is the dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill." -Johnny Carson
"If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door." -Paul Beatly
"Love is like a deck of cards... You need a Heart to love them, a Diamond to marry them, a Club to beat them, and a Spade to bury the bastards."
If it happens, God lets it happen, and when we say, "I don't understand," God replies, "I don't care." -Taken from The Green Mile.
"That's why God put stupid people on the planet, to test the people that actually have a brain." -Anonymous
"Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world." -R.D. Lang
"Reality is nothing but a collective hunch." -Lily Tomlin
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disclination to do so." -Douglas Adams
“Yeah, except that flies have exceptionally simplistic brains and probably wouldn’t be trainable, so that when you finally do catch one and try to train it to land on your arm, it instead lands on your neck, sinking its razor-sharp mandibles into your external jugular vein and drains your lifeblood as you writhe screaming in the grass. No sooner do you hit the ground than massive, cat-sized Praying Mantises pounce on your shuddering body, ripping the flesh from your limbs and fighting over your liver like it’s the last piece of candy the day after Easter. It is then, as your vision takes on a dimming redness that, in your endorphin and fear-inspired vertigo, you rue the day you built that damn time machine to take your ill-fated hunting trip.”
“Once upon a midnight dreary
while I pondered weak and weary
over the headless body that lay on the floor,
while I pondered, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a clapping
as lightning round my body wrapping
as it had done each time before.
"There can be only one," I muttered,
"As it says in the book of lore.
"Only one, and not a single more."
-Greg London (Highlander version of 'The Raven')
Early to rise,
Early to bed,
Makes a man wise,
But socially dead.
Bring your dead back today!
“How about you swallow some razor-wire, pull it out your ass, and FLOSS YOURSELF TO DEATH!” -Unknown
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you!" -Unknown
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." - Thomas Jones
"This is an A and B conversation, so C yourself out before D jumps over E and F's you up, G!" -Unknown
"It's not stealing... it's just borrowing without permission with no intent of returning." -Unknown
"I'm not lying, I'm just altering the truth to better suit my needs." -Unknown
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -Unknown
Life (n) - An evil plot to make you do things you don't want to. Also see: work, school
Keyboard (n) - A device used to enter errors into a computer.
God (n) - All powerful. Likes to smite things. Do what he says.
Violence is not the answer. Violence is the question. The answer is 'yes'. -Unknown
Johnny was a chemist
a chemist he is no more
for what he thought was H2O
The next time you ask someone how their day is going, expect, no, demand a response. Don't settle for good. Demand the truth. Make them admit that they're having a shitty day, and then do your best to make it worse. -Unknown
Been there, done that, got screwed over buying the shirt and kicked the salesman’s ass for it. -Naruto Fanfic
“You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” -Jack London
"There is no friend as loyal as a book." -Ernest Hemingway
"The reason that there are so few good books written is that so few people who write know anything." -Walter Bagehot
"Fairy tales do not tell children that dragons exist. Children already know they exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." -G.K. Chesterton.
“Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.” -Ogden Nash
I tried to drown all of my troubles, but dammit, you went and fucking learned how to swim! -Unknown
Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been shut down until further notice. -Unknown
Software programming today is a race between software companies to build bigger and better idiotproof programs, and the Universe to build bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -Robert Cooke, Author.
Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. -Unknown
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. -Unknown
Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over. -Unknown
Smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to. -Unknown
Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends. -Unknown
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. -Unknown
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. -Unknown
We're not retreating, we're advancing in a different direction! -Unknown
If a man is standing in a forest talking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? -Unkown
Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot. -Unknown
Ignorance is not a form of proof, stupidity is not a way of knowing things. -Thunderf00t
Effort is not power, knowledge is not power, even money is not power. True power is not caring that you fuck up all the time. -The Happy Locust
Homophobia: The irrational fear that gays will invade your home and rearrange your furniture against your will. -Unknown
True gamers never die, they just respawn elsewhere. -Unknown
You are stupid, and therefore wrong. -Unknown
I suppose so. If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. -Book (Unknown)
There's always going to be that one guy who gets dropped off by the police on Sunday, missing half his clothes, and no one knows why. -Unknown
Dumb man fish on land, smart man fish on boat, dead man fish in middle.
‘Ninja wears black and carries deadly, sharp weapons, right? You see him, you die. You touch him, you die. So in reality, ninja is the Grim Reaper!’
Murphy's 15 Other Laws...
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like... well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (runs to basement and blows up a Furby with a flaregun)
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
"Four people walk down the street. Three of them walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks." If you get it, put it in your profile and add your name to the list! Ranpuryu, Chris Shadowmoon, He Who Hides In Plain Sight
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you ran down an "Up" escalator, copy this into your profile.
You say Jonas Brothers-I say Rise Against
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
I am a Flame Dragon!
Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Flame Dragon on the inside.
In the war between good and evil, a Flame Dragon tends to walk the fine line of Neutrality.
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _'
Because I've seen it in a few other profiles, and I think it'd be great fun, I'm adding a section for what I think are good theme songs for characters:
Azula - Cold Hard Bitch - Jet
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