My random conversations that I have (the names are in order of who said what):

"Do you know what's creepy? I know what's inside of people." "Now how do you know that?" "Anatomy class." "... yeah that's a little creepy."- me and my bestest buddy Becca

"Do you know what would be funny?" "I know a lot of things that would be funny. What's your idea?" "A moth mafia. The Mothia." "LOLOMGHAHAHA!"- my other bestest buddy Rhea and me.

"He exposed himself at a strip club." "Ew, really?" "He'd been having some hard times-" "I'll bet he was having a hard time." - my stepmom and me.

"I think we should take our showers in the morning and get ready from there." "Ineptitude?" "Yay!" "What?" "What?" - me and Rhea the night before our prom.

"Ohmigosh! The naked men light up here!" "That's something you don't get to say everyday."- a girl in the group I went to France with and me.

"A blind man in Canada saw that coming." "Well then I'm a blind, deaf, and dumb chick in New England, because I sure as hell didn't!"- Becca and Me

"Okay, this is priceless. Bha gràdh againn aig t-uisge beatha means 'we used to love whiskey' in Gaelic." "Hahahaha. Used to?" "Maybe they love whiskey, but it doesn't love them."- me and Becca.

"Do not slice my jugular vein! I need that!" "... I was just gonna poke it."- me and Becca.

"In this show, DJ Lance is like God." "You think?" "Yeah." "Does God really wear an orange unitard with a matching fuzzy hat?." "Beats me."- My cousin Jay, me, and Becca, three teenagers watching Yo Gabba Gabba

"They're all retarded chairs!" "You're a retarded chair." "You're a retarded chair!" " Actually, I have a sandwich in a bowl, so you may be right."- me and Becca at lunch

"Look look look look at this-!" "Where's your skirt PANSY??!" "... I think I might cry."- Rhea, a video game, and me.

"Oh, there are Hobbles in here so be careful." "What are Hobbles?" "They're not so bad, but, oh, the pixies." "Pixies? What about the pixies??" "They SUCK!!"- Anthony and me playing a video game.

(my voice slowly rises in volume) "Anthony how do YOU BEAT A BANSHEE OH MY GOD!!!" "Fire spell! Fire! Spell!" "I don't have any!!!" "THEN YOU'RE S.O.L.!!! XD" Me and Anthony, same game.

"Maybe if we shake it the pears at the top will come off." *looks at me* "Would you like to violently shake a tree?" "I get to be mean to nature? :D" Rhea's sister, Rhea, and me.

"LET'S KILL THINGS THAT AREN'T ALIVE!" "ONWARD FRIEND!"- me and Becca.

"Groovy picture." "You did NOT just say-" "GROOVY BABY, YEAH!" "Did you just... Austin Powers me?"- my stepmom, me, my dad, me.

"They were in the dark depths of the ocean in a bubble and couldn't see anything and then the cyborg turned on his nipple lights and it illuminated everything." "There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don't even know where to begin."- Rhea and me.

"What'cha doing?" "Licking pudding off my phone." "Classy."- Becca and me.

"You just like the Hulk because his catchphrase is HULK SMASH." "Yep. As mine will be in the zombie apocalypse." "DALTON SMASH." "YES." "Dude, just roar." "Will do."- me and Dalton.

"I still can't bring myself to read one of her "books"." "I double dog dare you." "Gotta be at least a triple." "I triple diple covered in syrup dare you." "DAMMIT. Well, if I start talking like a total retard, you know why."- Rhea and me..

"BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK!" "Tell your dog I'm not a bad person." "LIES."- my roommate's dog, Jessica, me.

"Free advice: If your equally drunk friend looks at you and says 'Let's dye our hair!', the answer is always NO." "Oh god. What happened." "Just say no. Say. No."- Manager Eric and Me.

"My cat is flat against the floor, but his back legs are straight up in the air. I don't know how he's managing this." "Didn't you know? Cat is a liquid form. Or a form all of its own." "That's something they left out of eighth grade science. Solid, liquid, gas, cat."- Me and Kathryn.

"Well I'm designing a monster for the story." "A monster?" "Yeah, it's gonna be all black and have silver fangs and teeth and it's made up of nightmares and screams and every horrible thought you've ever had running through your head and it likes to attack women-" "How about we have this conversation when I'm not driving through the creepy woods at four in the morning?"- Me and Kathryn.

"Can you hear me?" "Yeah, sorry, I'm watching a nun strip at a bar." "I... what?"- Kathryn and Me (I was at a drag show)

"You have reached a new tier in writing." "The 'I can emotionally scar you in 15 pages or less' tier." "You shall now reap the rewards." "The tears of my readers are reward enough." "HAHAHAHAHA!!"- Rheanna and Me.

"WHY AM I GETTING ALL THE WEIRD LETTERS?!" "BECAUSE YOU'RE THE WEIRD ONE AND I'M GOING TO WIN. AHAHAHA!"- me and Becca.

"I want you know... I'm plotting." I want you to know... I'm eating oreos." "...damn you."- Becca and me.

"You know how when people have a good idea they say it hit them over the head?" "Yeah?" "I wonder if there actually is something out there that randomly hits people in the head to give them ideas. Like a rock or something. OR NO WAIT. An epiphany brick." "Oh my god. We must find one."- Me and Rhea

What To Expect Out Of Life in Portuguese: www.fanfiction.net/s/8698125/1/What-To-Expect-Out-Of-Life

What To Expect Out Of Life in Spanish: www.fanfiction.net/s/8712427/1/Qu%C3%A9-esperar-de-la-vida