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mobile edition| Bardess of Avon |
Author has written 38 stories for Hunchback of Notre Dame, Patriot, Children of the Corn, Titanic, Greek Mythology, Chronicles of Narnia, Hunchback of Notre Dame, West Side Story, Harry Potter, Life is Beautiful, Forrest Gump, How to Train Your Dragon, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake. Icon: Whoever thought of this just won life. I wish I could sum myself up in a way that would satisfy your curiosity in a couple lines, but alas, I cannot; instead, I have this obnoxiously long profile. I've tried organizing it to make it easier on you, but you know how that goes... Updates 5/15/12 OKAY, so anyone who reads I'm Gleeking Out and is waiting for the sequel: I FINISHED WRITING IT TODAY. I'm in the final stages of editing now, but the first chapter should be up tomorrow or the next day; definitely by the end of the week at the very latest! I am so sorry for the wait, but I hope it's worth it! 5/16/12 I put up a new fic, It's All Gleek to Me. 5/19/12 I put up a new chapter of It's All Gleek to Me. 5/25/12 I add another chapter to It's All Gleek to Me. 5/27/12 I put up an Adventure Time oneshot, Sweet Dreams. Current Obsession Dragons. Cool Links -The Antic Repartee is sixteen kinds of awesome, because she made a lineart for chapter seven of This is Berk. Seriously, I'm STILL having a squeegasm. And THEN RuffnutThorstonFan colored it! -I got fed up with people misspelling Dragon Manual as Dragon Manuel, so I begged The Antic Repartee to draw a Spanish Viking named Manuel for me (this was after a long discussion with my roommate, FightingForJoy, about the many absurdities of a Spanish Viking). And because she is way too amazing for words and for some reason puts up with my crazy, SHE DID. -RhapsodyInProgress made a BEYOOTIFUL picture of my OC Angie from my Titanic fic, "Save All Who Dare the Eagle's Flight"; solbalesta was also awesome enough to draw one, which can be found here. Seriously, how amazing is that? -I have a forum dedicated to StarKidPotter; it can be found here. If you are at all interested in the geniuses behind AVPM, AVPS, LWL, MMD, and most recently, Starship, please do not hesitate to drop by! -I had the immense pleasure of betaing When Irish Eyes Are Crying by Velvet Storm, which is a SUPERB piece of fanfiction. I'm not even usually a fan of half the elements in this fic and I love it, so go take a look! -I have a C2 Community dedicated to Ruffnut! For deets about getting yours or another person's fanfic featured, please feel free to PM me. -I had the pleasure of betaing Lady Liberty by hat in a box. It's by far one of the best Titanic fics I have EVER read; seriously, go check this business out! -I caved in and got a tumblr. omg I know. Anyway, if you also have ridiculous amounts of free time you can follow me at bardess-of-avon.tumblr.com. Things My Reviewers Should Keep in Mind -There's this trend lately where people keep leaving reviews and saying, "I don't like this pairing, I ship x/y." And I don't actually get it. Who...cares? What is your review expected to accomplish? Because I'm not going to change around the entire fic to please you. Sorry, but I'm not. So if you disagree with any of my pairings...please don't review about it unless it actually serves a purpose (and I can't think of many cases where it would). -Reviews are used to tell the author how he or she can improve or what you liked about the fic. They are NOT, however, to be used to whore out your own fic. Seriously, that's just rude and it shows that you're desperate for attention. I'm not going to read your fic if you advertise it in a review on my fic, so don't even think about it. -If you would like to reference one or more of my fics in any way, shape or form, PLEASE GET MY PERMISSION FIRST. It's just rude not to, and I'm fairly certain it's slightly illegal, and I don't want to be the bitch who gets the admin involved. I'll do it, but I don't want to. -Do not copy my stuff. This has happened to me more times than I can count. Plagiarism in any form is not cool, to put it lightly; it's a federal offense, to put it plainly. I will get the right people involved if you rip off my work; I've gone to them enough times, and I will do it again. -I have anonymous reviews turned off. I am sorry for those of you who don't have an account and want to leave input, but I've had some problems with trolls in the past and I frankly don't want to put up with that headache again. -Most of my fanfiction was written while I was in high school. I've deleted countless fics; what you see now are those that had a special place in my heart or other people convinced me to keep up. I'm not trying to excuse my writing, though it sounds like I am. Basically, anything before 2010 is not going to be as good as anything I've churned out since then but I didn't have the heart to take it down/haven't had the time to revise it. The Part Where I Brag About My Fics Now It Begins is currently my longest fic, as well as being the second-longest fic on the West Side Story fandom. I'm Gleeking Out is the second-longest Ruffcup fanfic on the HTTYD fandom. Hiccup Haddock is on Facebook is the most-favorited of my fanfics. Confessions of a Teenage Viking currently has the most hits as well as the most alerts. Sammen i Himlen won the Titanic Fan Fiction Contest on Anne's Story Page for Best Prequel/Interstice in August 2011. And finally, Save All Who Dare the Eagle's Flight, as well as being my favorite fic, is the most-reviewed and generally most popular of my fics and won the Titanic Fan Fiction Contest on Anne's Story Page for Best Prequel/Interstice in September 2011. /bragging over/ Words of Wisdom On purple prose... "Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -Anton Chekhov "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug." -Mark Twain "A good style should show no signs of effort. What is written should seem a happy accident." -W. Somerset Maugham, Summing Up On the usefulness of proofreading... "Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." -Author Unknown On talent... "The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shockproof shit detector. This is the writer's radar and all great writers have had it." -Ernest Hemingway "Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will." -Goethe "The truth is rarely pure and never simple. Modern life would be very tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete impossibility!" -Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest And now for some sense and sensibility (yuckyuck): On arguing with other authors... "I do not pretend to set people right, but I do see that they are often wrong." -Jane Austen, Mansfield Park "...angry people are not always wise." -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice "Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?" -Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility "Elinor agreed with it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition." -Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility On reviewing... "...advice is only good or bad as the event decides." -Jane Austen, Persuasion On writing to the very best of one's ability... "...but an artist cannot do anything slovenly." -Jane Austen in a letter to her sister Cassandra "How ill I have written. I begin to hate myself." -Jane Austen, The Letters of Jane Austen On revising... "I hope when you have written a great deal more you will be equal to scratching out some of the past." -Jane Austen in a letter to her niece Anna On writer's block... "(I am) not at all in a humor for writing; I must write on 'til I am." -Jane Austen in a letter to her sister Cassandra On writing romance... "I could not sit seriously down to write a serious romance under any other motive than to save my life; and if it were indispensable for me to keep it up and never relax into laughing at myself or other people, I am sure I should be hung before I finished the first chapter. No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way; and though I may never succeed again in that, I am convinced that I should totally fail in any other." -Jane Austen in a letter to the Prince of Wales's librarian On using clichés... "...that expression of 'violently in love' is so hackneyed, so doubtful, so indefinite...It is as often applied to feelings which arise from an half-hour's acquaintance, as to a real, strong attachment." -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice On Mary-Sues... "...pictures of perfection as you know make me sick and wicked." -Jane Austen in a letter to her niece Fanny And finally... "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means." -Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest "It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something." "What are we holding onto, Sam?" "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for." -Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens and Stephen Sinclair, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers | |||||||
1. Sweet DreamsThe awful reality behind Adventure Time. Not for the faint of heart.Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 911 - Published: 5-27-12 - Finn & Jake - Complete2. It's All Gleek to Me » reviewsSequel to "I'm Gleeking Out". Hiccup, Ruffnut, and the rest of the New Beginnings finally feel like they have a shot at something, but they have no idea what waits around the corner for them.How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,824 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 5-25-12 - Published: 5-16-12 - Hiccup & Ruffnut3. A Promise Kept reviewsOneshot in which Tommy makes - and keeps - a promise.Titanic - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-15-12 - Tommy R. - Complete4. Nearer, My God, To Thee reviewsOneshot. "It wasn't supposed to be like this." The last thoughts of one of the 1,500 who perished at sea.Titanic - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 776 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-14-12 - Complete5. Of Pygmy Puffs and Pureblooded Pricks reviewsIn which Malfoy is a stalker, Harry attempts-poorly-to play matchmaker, and Astoria Greengrass thinks house-elves are people, too.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 1-2-12 - Draco M. & Astoria G. - Complete6. This is Berk » reviewsCollection of random oneshots about our favorite Hairy Hooligans. Warning: this fic contains excessive Viking shenanigans. Chapter 14: In which Astrid learns the difference between a walk of shame and a stride of pride.How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,005 - Reviews: 93 - Updated: 11-1-11 - Published: 2-28-11 - Astrid & Ruffnut7. Confessions of a Teenage Viking » reviewsRuffnut-centric. "That was the summer that we started dragon training, me and my brother got tattoos, and Hiccup saved our entire village from the biggest enemy we would ever have. This is the story of that summer."How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 50,775 - Reviews: 161 - Updated: 10-21-11 - Published: 7-7-11 - Ruffnut - Complete8. I'm Gleeking Out » reviewsModern AU. Ruffnut always thought she was one of Berk High's shining stars, blinding everyone else with her reputation; but when she's forced to join Glee Club and work on a project with Hiccup Haddock, she realizes she's been the blinded one.How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 35,929 - Reviews: 120 - Updated: 6-23-11 - Published: 5-27-11 - Ruffnut & Hiccup - Complete9. On the Hot Pavement » reviewsAnd born like we was on the hot pavement. Collection of unrelated Anybodys/A-Rab ficlets.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,615 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 5-15-11 - Published: 9-13-09 - Anybodys & A-Rab10. Hiccup Haddock is on Facebook » reviewsJust like the title sounds. Our favorite Hairy Hooligans are on Facebook; much craziness ensues. Rated for a reason.How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,993 - Reviews: 129 - Updated: 2-21-11 - Published: 1-29-11 - Complete11. Womb to Tomb » reviewsWomb to tomb and birth to earth. The next generation is about to open up a can of worms and prove that some things go beyond the grave.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 87,242 - Reviews: 117 - Updated: 11-2-10 - Published: 6-28-10 - Complete12. Toil and Trouble » reviews...in which Action refuses to pin the tail on the donkey, Anybodys chases A-Rab with a baseball bat, the Jets explore a haunted factory, and Riff is a pirate. Rated for naughty words and typical Halloween costumes. Happy Halloween!West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,795 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-30-10 - Published: 10-29-10 - Complete13. Now It Begins » reviewsNow it begins, now we start. Seven girls tell their West Side Stories.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 93,636 - Reviews: 85 - Updated: 6-21-10 - Published: 2-3-10 - Complete14. Nine Months » reviewsAnybodys and A-Rab are having a baby. It's going to be a long nine months...West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 44,675 - Reviews: 133 - Updated: 6-10-10 - Published: 9-17-09 - Anybodys & A-Rab - Complete15. Seasons reviewsAnybodys-centric oneshot. One man in her life for each season of the year.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,788 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-23-10 - Anybodys - Complete16. Dear Mama reviewsOneshot. What was in that letter Little Forrest wrote to Jenny? Short, meaningless fluff.Forrest Gump - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 5-20-10 - Complete17. Glowing Hours reviewsFluffy little surprise birthday present for Vee. Ice is determined to make Velma's night-no matter the cost. Happy Birthday, twinnie.West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,857 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-27-10 - Complete18. Di Principi e Una Principessa reviewsOneshot. Giosué can't sleep. Guido tells him a fairy tale about a prince and a principessa.Life is Beautiful - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,116 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-10-10 - Complete19. When I Don't Look reviewsWritten for viennacantabile's challenge. "What happens when you look at Bernardo?" "It's when I don't look that it happens." How Bernardo and Anita first met.West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,540 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-6-10 - Anita & Bernardo - Complete20. First Snow reviewsFluffy oneshot and Christmas present for a few very special people. "After all, there was only one first snow of the year." Midgepiece. Sort of.West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,856 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-18-09 - Complete21. Married in Green reviewsGraziella-centric oneshot. "Married in green, ashamed to be seen." Tiger is not Riff and never will be.West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-3-09 - Graziella - Complete22. Far From Perfect reviewsA-Rab/Anybodys drabble. A-Rab and Anybodys are far from perfect. Warning for mentions of hanky-panky.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 754 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-29-09 - A-Rab & Anybodys - Complete23. Of First Dates and Milk Duds reviewsOneshot, dedicated to my lovely fanfiction twin, Vee! "A Jet wasn't afraid of anything. That being said, Baby John was terrified." Baby John goes on his first date.West Side Story - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,650 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7-29-09 - Baby John - Complete24. Happy Birthday, Hermione reviewsFluffy little oneshot. "Hell hath no fury like a woman whose birthday has been forgotten." Ron screws up and has to rectify the situation.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,173 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 7-20-09 - Hermione G. & Ron W. - Complete25. Save All Who Dare the Eagle's Flight » reviewsThey called it the Ship of Dreams. It certainly was the Ship of Dreams; I had nightmares about the Titanic for years after just barely escaping.Titanic - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 85,184 - Reviews: 165 - Updated: 6-1-09 - Published: 1-25-09 - Jack D. & Fabrizio D. - Complete26. Beautiful Maria reviewsOneshot inspired by the ending scene. He should've hated her. He couldn't ever let himself love her. But he would allow himself to call her beautiful.West Side Story - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 981 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3-5-09 - Action & Maria - Complete27. How NOT to Write HoND Fanfiction reviewsBased on "How NOT to write Titanic fanfiction" by Fomalhaut. Instructions on how to write a very typical HoND Marie Sue are inside.Hunchback of Notre Dame - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,551 - Reviews: 65 - Published: 1-15-09 - Complete28. What Really Happened reviewsI began to wonder: What would /really/ happen if the daughter of a gypsy traitoress and one of Frollo's soldier ended up in the Court of Miracles? Certainly not the Mary Sue garbage we see so often. Dark humor, although you may have to look for it.Hunchback of Notre Dame - Rated: T - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,301 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1-5-09 - Clopin - Complete29. He Misses Her reviewsOneshot. He misses her, and that's all there is to it. Set after the Pevensies leave Narnia.Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,926 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 1-1-09 - Lucy Pevensie & Tumnus - Complete30. The Dog it was that Died reviewsThe man recovered of the bite, the dog it was that died. Cal reflects on where his life has led him and where he will go from there.Titanic - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,827 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-16-08 - Cal H. - Complete31. Christmas 1911 reviewsFor some people, the Christmas of 1911 would be the last they would ever see. How did it pass for them? Have a look at the last Christmas for several characters.Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,347 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 12-15-08 - Complete32. Cassandra reviewsOneshot. Brief glimpses of Cassandra of Troy's life, quite literally from her birth to her death.Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,392 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 11-30-08 - Complete33. Sammen i Himlen reviewsOn the Ship of Dreams, two people who speak different languages understand each other perfectly. Helga and Fabrizio oneshot.Titanic - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,296 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 8-19-08 - Helga D. & Fabrizio D. - Complete34. Strangers reviewsOneshot. Katie never thought that her last moments would be shared with a stranger who had given her his seat only hours earlier.Titanic - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,020 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 8-16-08 - Complete35. Brenda: Ben's Inner Woman » reviewsResponse to GreenWood Elf's Gender Bender challenge. What if Benjamin Martin was actually a woman? Parody.Patriot - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,136 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 5-22-08 - Published: 5-11-08 - Complete36. The Very Secret Diaries Patriot Style » reviewsThe Very Secret Diaries, Patriot Style! Warning: Utter insanity ahead.Patriot - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,640 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 5-11-08 - Published: 1-25-08 - Complete37. Mary Sue the Outlander » reviewsYes, you read correctly; a Mary-Sue parody! Why? Because we need one. T for general Sueishness.Children of the Corn - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,481 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 3-8-08 - Published: 2-3-0838. MarieSue » reviewsIt's an angel! It's a demon! It's...a French Mary Sue! Join Amy the Marie Sue as she falls passionately in love with all the male characters of HoND and learns words with more than one syllable! T for general Sueishness.Hunchback of Notre Dame - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,487 - Reviews: 138 - Updated: 12-1-07 - Published: 10-7-07 - Clopin & C. Frollo - Complete
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