Alrighty! Hey there! I'm MaxRideNut, but you may also get away with calling me "hey you" or even "person whose name I can't recall right now". I'm practically invisible, so I've gotten use to those last two. Don't worry if you over-use them. It confuses the people who think they might have a chance at figuring out my real name.

Age: Young enough to enjoy the simpler things in life, yet old enough to totally whoop your butt if you try to stalk me.

Location: My own personal version of La-La Land, located right next to the black hole behind that tree branch

Languages: Well, my native language is English, but considering the facts that my mom yells at me in German, my dad starts talking in Spanish at random points, my sister tries to insult me in French, and I need a bit of Japanese to understand what Kyoshi is telling me to do that's...Onowaitaminute, I forgot brother babbling in sign language and cousins that speak to me in hundreds of different dialects of Giberish and Pig Latin... Uh, I'm not even gonna try counting.

Favorite weapons to play with: Short sticks, long staff, various kinds of bladed weapons, my fists and feet, pens and pencils (any one of the bullies at my old school could tell you how much those hurt) various kinds of guns, and various weapons of the mental and emotional sort. I even used a hardback copy of Eragon once. Yes I know I'm freaky. Thanks for noticing. UPDATE: I GOT NUNCHUCKS!! UPDATE (about 3 hours later): Never mind; I got them confiscated for using them on a guy 6 inches taller than me who thought I'd want to go out with him...

My favorite philosophy so far: The best way to answer a question is with another question. So if you are planning on asking me why I believe that, then who wants to know?

My position on the topic of profile copy-and-pastes: Some are hilarious, others not so much, with still others being inappropriate, and a large quantity of them being idiotic. I may put up some of the latter kind later in the space below.

ANNOUNCEMENT! I moved several of my single-chapter stories into a single "story" to save space and keep my account more organized. If I post any more Danny Phantom oneshots, I'll post them there as well.

10 Ways to Know You Spend WAY Too Much Time at the Dojo:

1) You find yourself bowing every time you enter/exit the library.

2) You continuously point out what the actors are doing wrong in action movies.

3) You call your school teacher "Sensei" at least once a month.

4) You can turn a feather into a lethal weapon.

5) You go shopping and can't find any jeans that are baggy enough to fit comfortably.

6) You can watch somebody dance and know exactly how to use the moves to snap someone's neck.

7) You can trace your martial art style from students to masters all the way back to when Caveman Og pushed Caveman Guh and Guh fell down.

8) You know a way to make looks kill.

9) You consciously have to remind yourself not to dislocate your Uncle Joe's shoulder whenever he gives you a bear hug.

10) You smile and everyone in the room tries to figure out who is about to lose an arm.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if a celebrity told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing our butts off at the others.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliche, rainxface, maximumride24, alpha-range, Xingu Clocktime, MaxRideNut

EVERYONE does drugs...besides me...I prefer my caffeine and sugar! BEWARE!

Anyone ever notice that parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up?

I've got a bunch of stories that may never get finished, cuz my ADD makes me lose interest/inspiration annoyingly fast, but if you really want to see me continue, go ahead and review/PM/email me telling me to get my lazy butt in gear. Oh yes, which brings me to my policy on reviews: I appreciate critiques that tell me what I can do better. I know I'm not the best writer ever so I can live with a few flames--AS LONG AS you tell me EXACTLY what I am doing wrong. Don't just cuss and leave. I wanna know how I can improve. It is nice to have people tell me I'm not a complete failure, though too. And if anyone gets a review from me, I'll most likely follow this policy as well. If I see something an author could improve, I will point it out, but remember that I am trying to HELP, so please don't get mad at me if I do. And if I do make a note of "this could be fixed" I will usually include a note of "this particular thing was really good" so that I don't sound like a perfectionist jerk. Also note that I have no idea who you are or how old you are or how much writing experience you have, so if I point out a vocabulary or grammar mistake, please don't hate me if it's way above your level and please don't think I am insulting you if you are generally expected to know about it already. For all I know, you could be in the fifth grade or you could be thirty, so if I make a critique out of your age group, I'm sorry. Just trying to help.

SUMMARIES: Unless stated otherwise, most of my stories are rated T just in case.

Surprised In Church:Maddie Fenton decides on a wim to go to church one day and she finds all manners of surprises awaiting. So far I have four short chapters up and no idea where I am gonna go from there. Feel free to suggest!

Mutant Military: The President of the US has discovered the identities and locations of many DNA hybrids, and is now trying to start an army of mutants! GASP! More "powers" to be discovered here. I also would love suggestions not only how to continue but for character ideas as well!

After the Days of Darkness: People way in the future can't remember back this far. Recurring dreams and a strange legend: who are the angels that exist in both? Rated T for scariness in the first chapter. I don't plan on making the later chapters anywhere near as dark. Lost my inspiration. I need suggestions if you want me to continue it!

Magical Mixup: People all have their powers switched! This is only Part 1, so it's only about Max Ride and American Dragon. I lost my outline, so parts 2 through 4 will probly be scrapped and I probly won't continue this cuz I don't know how. If you want to see this continued, you'll have to make suggestions!

The Call: Wendy is an orphan. Can she call Peter to take her back? Most likely a oneshot.

Max Ride Songfics:Taking songs and twisting the stories so that they fit the songs. So far, I have an Anastasia song and an Aladdin song. Collection of oneshots; chapters have nothing to do with each other. TWO, SO FAR.

Allosaur Child: When a strange young woman is rescued from the sea, it will take a man called Rider to get her home and to show the captain that some secrets are better left alone. Short story one chapter. I haven't seen the movie I based this on in years so please don't kill me for things that are way off.

Controller Confusion: Max Ride, Danny Phantom, n the Nickelodeon Avatar get sent to T. Pierce's Tortall. They have conversations with an author (me), who tells them that more Xovers will emerge in the story later. Formerly called TransFiction Counselor. Basically just to see what happens if you told a bunch of story characters they aren't real. When I was writing this I imagined talking to them and thought about what they would say with their personalities being what they are. If I continue it I will need a lot of help from reviewers.

Healing: Two Flock members and Total are dead. Two years later Angel meets a scarred boy with power over fire. Now they must work together to reunite the Flock and send the Bender home. Random inspiration based off a dream where I was wondering what would happen if Zuko met an experiment.

Max Ride Meets Harry Potter: Voice tells Max to fly over an ocean. Max gets brain attack and ends up at an unknown island. Island turns out to be Hogwarts. What insanity ensues? Yes, I know I got a lot of the story wrong; I based it off a dream and I haven't read any of the HP books anyway. I saw pieces of the movies, but I still didn't (and don't) know enough to make it right. So if you want to see this continued, you'll have to wait til my library gets the first two books in. If you have anything you know is extremely important pot it on one of my forums.

Chicken Little's Dream: Seventh grade assignment based on old story. This was not really based on the movie, but the original story. Chicken Little's dream, right before he wakes up and hears a sound and thinks that the sky is falling. It's a poem, not a story. So it's complete where it is.

Story of a Freed Owl: An avian experiment looks back on her past. And might turn it in for her digital movie making class. My first completely 1st person POV story ever! Woo!

Through His Eyes: Everyone knows how Simba, Kiara, and Kovu feel about the relationships between Pridelanders and Outsiders, and how Zira felt about her exile. But how did NUKA feel? And why were the Outsiders banished anyways? Might be a oneshot, maybe not. Dunno. Does anyone have an opinion how long I should make it?

Stories I might start soon/eventually:

Mysterious Guest: An anthro lion experiment (stuck permanently as half lion-half human) from Maximum Ride-type lab is born to a scientist who expects a feline version of an Eraser (morphing). Scientist despises failure and tries to kill lion boy (don't know what I'll call him; vote at the top of my profile) but a birdgirl rescues him. I had the rest of my basic plan up a while ago, but now I'm gonna try to be more...mysterious about it. Don't want the readers to already know everything before hand. It would make the story boring.

Blind Leading the Blind: Toph disappears for a while, and when she turns up again, she'll be accompanied by a strange newcomer with some very interesting talents. One of my many many plot bunnies, not sure if I'll ever get around to it, but still...

Red Shoes: A new girl in school is puzzling, not particularly brilliant, and generally silent, but still very confident. POV is one particular student, who notices a lot of little things that don't make sense. Like her strange red gloves and her red-camouflage shoes, and the fact that she only wears black besides her gloves and shoes.

Goals: A behind-the-scenes style telling of Disney's "Beauty and the Beast"--from the enchantress's point of view! While the beast was hiding in his castle in dispair, someone was traveling the countryside looking for his perfect match, the one who would break the spell!