Updated 2/24/2011

My name is _ and I live in a shit-kicker town in the middle of nowhere. It may sound like a horrible place to be, and in some ways, it is, but in other ways, it's the best place on Earth. In short, it's home. I'm also extremely immature for my age, but every now and then I've been known to say something that doesn't sound like something a five-year-old would say. I enjoy people watching. If left to my own devices, I'll read an entire book in one sitting.

I have very strong political beliefs, but I tend to keep them to myself because I dislike getting into heated arguments with people-most of whom don't even know what they're talking about. Really? Doesn't anyone watch the news? FOX or CNN, I watch them both. I will never EVER tell someone whether I'm left-wing or right-wing because that opens the door for stereotyping.

I hate stupid people."Stupid people" in my book are: People who think it's okay to let their kids run around public areas screaming and tearing shit up (you're not doing your kids any favors by not disciplining them. In fact, you're actually screwing them over when it comes to the real world). People who stand in lines at the store checking out at the counter while talking on their phone about how drunk they plan on getting later that night and then get mad at the cashier because they interrupted an "important phone call" (fyi, your "important phone call makes you look like a lush and a whore. Get your head out of your ass and start treating people who work in the customer service business with some respect). People who thinks it's okay to pull the race card to explain their inappropriate behavior (I don't care what color you are, you could be purple or blue or bright neon pink for all I care and I would still call you out for acting like a jackass). People who insist on ramming their religious beliefs down other people's throats (you're not helping you or anyone else spiritually. You're just making everyone hate you and your religion). People who blame everything on homosexuality (Really? The homosexuals are the reason all the problems in the world exist? When you come up with some actual proof, I'll give you the time of day). People who thinks it's okay to draw unemployment for years (I'm from a town where about 75% of the population has this among other things), refuse to go out and work hard like the rest of us, and proudly wave their food-stamp cards in people's faces (you're welcome. Enjoy my tax dollars, you complete asshole). People who insist on being Politically correct all the time (it's just gone way too far). People who use their Facebook status or wall to have personal arguments/ break-up with their significant other (it's for keeping in touch with friends, not letting everyone in on your petty drama that nobody cares about). People who like certain types of music, movies, etc. until everyone likes it and then they suddenly hate it. People who expect others to feel sorry for them and expect handouts when they put in no effort to better their situation on their own in any way, shape, or form (why should I help you if you're not going to show me you actually want it? Everyone has their own set of problems to deal with and you expect us to take on yours as well?).

After the paragraph above, you can probably tell that I am a complete bitch. I'm prone to speaking my mind, hurtful or otherwise. It doesn't make me very many friends, but at least people know where I stand. I'm not above calling people on their crap. I try to avoid confrontation because it never really solves anything, but if I have to I will get into it with someone.

I hate the "Twilight" series with a burning, fiery passion that consumes my entire being. I read the first book for one of my classes in one sitting because by the end of the first sentence I knew it was utter shit and I never wanted to have to pick it up again. Side note, completely relieved Steven Strait didn't end up playing Jacob. He would have lost all credibility as a serious actor in my eyes. Seriously. No fucking joke.

I am addicted to World of Warcraft. I think its because I can beat the shit out of people on there and I get rewarded for it. There's nothing more satisfying to me than killing a Tauren Druid in pvp. Unless, I'm also eating tacos and drinking Mountain Dew. Then it's better than sex. I've been playing the game since release and Hellscream is my realm. I play Pokemon on Nintendo DS.

Stuff like this is epic. Total mood lifter.

I hate that Hollywood is remaking all my favorite classics. Like "Karate Kid"...which had Jackie Chan teaching the "karate kid" Kung-Fu...wha? Did they really think a true fan wouldn't catch that? Just like I didn't catch Brett Ratner completely destroying the X-Men universe and all their AUs in X3 (OH MY GOD. Ruin the heart of Marvel, why don't you, you fat sack of crap!)? Yeah, if they touch "The Breakfast Club", I'm done. (And WTF was that sad excuse of a Wolverine movie?! Sabertooth and Wolverine brothers. No. Just...no. Taylor Kitsch was the only thing about that movie I enjoyed. Way to ruin movies based on comic books. Fuck.)

I used to be a ballerina, but I am somehow so completely clumsy it's astounding. I run into stationary objects often. I used to be a great dancer...now not so much. But its okay, because the only one who sees me dance is my cat and while he thinks I look like a jackass rocking out to Journey, he doesn't have thumbs, and therefore, I am superior-even if I can't do back flips and shit like he can. Show-off.

It doesn't matter how terrible a movie is, I will watch the entire thing. Unless it has Jennifer Lopez in it. Also, if it has man candy in it, I love it. I am not above admitting one of the main reasons I love the movie "The Covenant" so much is because I get to see all those yummy boys in Speedos. I'd rather be staring at Taylor Kitsch's amazing abs, Toby Hemingway's cute ass, and Steven Strait's ovary exploding arms than watching a movie with actual depth. Yes, I am that shallow, and if you have a problem with it, you can just go fuck your couch.

This is an important message, brought to you by the letter G, which stands for "Goddammit Tilt, why does it take you so fucking long to update?!" :

Okay, um...well, to all the people who read my Firefly fics...my muse kinda skipped out on me. I know! I know. I promised to finish my stories and I will. Just not until that stupid whore comes back.

Okay, now to all those who read my Covenant fics. I have a life and it keeps getting in my way. I now have an actual job that's really stressful. I work a lot. I work so much that I've had to stop raiding on WoW (which stands for World of Warcraft for those of you not familiar with the game) because I'm working so much. Also, in the next few months, my lease is up and I'll be moving and right now I'm trying to find a place that's not a total money pit. Believe me when I tell you the place I'm living in now is garbage. I also got a new kitten so my cat wouldn't be so lonely when we're not home. Right now, we're working on teaching him that just because something fits in your mouth and you can swallow it, doesn't mean you should. It's not working out so well. Anyway, the point is, I do make time to sit down and work on upcoming chapters, they're just slow in coming.

Possibility: I may retool my first fic, "Merely Mortals". Reading through it, I realized that while the story itself is awesome, it's not quite as well written as it should or could be. If anyone reading this has read that fic, you are more than welcome to speak up on this. Just understand I probably won't reply. But, your message will have been read.

The sequel to my "Chuck" fic has been put on the back-burner. Not because I'm lazy or anything, but because the show keeps me guessing and I'm waiting until it officially ends before I start writing it. Like Casey already having a daughter (they TOTALLY stole that from me! Joking...or am I, Shwartz? Or am I?). I want it to follow the series. I really do. I don't want it to go completely AU.

I'm not going to blackmail people into giving me reviews in exchange for more chapters. That shit is not cool. I do appreciate reviews, even the overly critical ones. Just don't expect me to cave and write what you want me to write. That's not how I roll.

A lot of people message me, and I try to answer them. But sometimes I don't and it's simply because I'm just that terrible at keeping up lines of communication with people. I have not been on Facebook since February. All my friends think I'm dead. Literally. There are wall posts and threads on my page of people trying to figure out what the hell happened to me. I have yet to respond. I hate writing emails, I hate talking on the phone. So the chances of me responding are somewhat slim to none and it's not because I'm being an ass. I just...it's a quirk.