Things for aspiring authors to consider...
(1) Please don't let your under-trained protagonists pop out supposedly great ideas that no one has thought of before. An example would be Naruto telling the Sandaime to use shadow clones for paperwork. It's simply insulting, especially against a Hokage known as 'the Professor.'
(2) Please be judicial about where you lavish extra details. I could care less about the exact composition of the sandwich a character is eating unless it contributes to the plot. Meanwhile, a one-liner gifting the underfed and previously-wronged protagonist with a chest of hard-to-acquire forbidden knowledge is insufficient.
(3) Please refrain from writing melodramatic speeches when opponents face each other, especially in an action/adventure story. Take the average Naruto fanfic where fighting somehow pauses for the characters to exchange their 'woe is me' story. I've read fics where the bulk of Naruto and Neji's chunin tournament is dedicated to monologues of their childhood trauma. What are they? Kabuki actors?
(4) Please vary your sentence structure.
- "Not that I want to ruin this happy moment or anything," said Ron as he got up off the floor, "But Hermione's blanket's on fire." 
- Harry, face still red, narrowed his eyes at Ron and retorted, "Says the guy who thought that the Care Of Magical Creatures textbook said that it would help them work with magical breasts." 
- "No," Padma would scold her twin, "You cannot write 'bubble bubble toil and trouble' on your [potion] essay!" 
- Dumbledore's eyes twinkle sometimes, but at this point I think I doused his twinkle. 
- Re: Dumbledore -- that creepy Santa-bloke.
- "HOLY CRAP! MINATO GETS TRAPPED IN THE SEXY JUTSU!"
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