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Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and Fire Emblem. IF I WAS THE OWNER OF SOMETHING, WHY THE F&@K WOULD I BE WRITING FANFICTION, ESPECIALLY THE EXTREMELY SUCKY FANFICTION THAT I WRITE? ahem... Race the moon Catch the wind Ride the night to the end Sleep the night, and wake to the light Touch the sky Swim the sea Waking up in a sweet dream Crossing the desert in just one night Seizing the land in just one fight To become the wind, which has bridle To become the ocean, which has no shore To become the night, and not wake to the day To become the earth, with no limit or weakness To become life, with both Order and Chaos, Nevermore needing Dreaming Breathing Dieing. The End. Copied, pasted, and changed from The Yamani, chapter 24 Death was waiting for the Rider, So Death followed the Rider, And Death found the Rider, So Death told the Rider Then Death took the Rider, And the Rider followed Death, as Death had followed him. The End Copied, pasted, and changed from Empire, Eridor, amd Ending 'Twas the second night at Hogwarts, no need to beware. The broomsticks were resting by the garbage with care, The Gryffindors were nestled all snug in their beds, And Harry in his sailor moon pajamas, and Seamus in his cap, When out of the darkness there arose such a clatter, It was Ron, sitting up in his bed and loading his rifle. “Could you do that LATER…you’re ruining the poem!” Harry huffed, standing at the side of Ron’s bed. “Oh, sorry,” Ron answered, stashing his gun under his pillow for safekeeping. The End Copied, pasted, and edited from Harry Potter and the Technicolor Dream Phoenix What would happen if Ike died vs Shinon in Path of Radiance? If Ike died, Tanith would take over as the commander of Elincia's/Begnion's army. After Nevassa is captured, Zelgius would show up, order the execution of Nasir the traitor, and take command of the army. Geoffrey and his soldiers would die since Zelgius wouldn't bother saving them. When they finally make it to the chokepoint with Bertram's fort and the BK's castle, the two sides will be stuck in a stalemate since whenever Begnion's army starts taking ground, the Black Knight will push them back and whenever Daein starts winning, Commander Zelgius will reappear and rally his troops. This war lasts for a few years and each side suffers massive casualties, including Sothe. Meanwhile, Jarod takes control of the undefended Daein and starts killing and abusing its citizens. Nolan starts the Dawn Brigade and the first three chapters of Radiant Dawn play out while the Crimean War is still happening. Knowing that she can't risk being captured without Sothe there to save her, Micaiah just lets Jarod kill Laura at the end of 1-2. After that, the four stooges just run around Daein in an attempt to evade Jarod's forces. Eventually Ashera wakes up due to the Crimean War and stones everyone. Zelgius kills Elincia and everyone else that survived the Crimean War and Ashera's judgement. Yune possesses Micaiah and tries to rally together enough troops to take on Ashera, but they're only able to recruit Ilyana, Pelleas, Aran, and Fiona before Zelgius captures them. Zel takes Micaiah to Sephiran, who offers to spare her and her troops if they stop rallying against Ashera. Micaiah reluctantly agrees and finds out that Sanaki did the same. Meanwhile, Ashnard kills Tormaod, Muarim, Vika, 3-13 archer and all the other playable characters that are still wandering about. Then Caineghis comes and kills Ashnard for killing Giffca and Skrimir. Dheg and the dragons eventually go berserk and kill Zelgius, Sephiran, Caineghis, Sanaki, and Micaiah's group. Finally, Ashera does another judgment and turns all the surviving dragons to stone. OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. I am on the dark side. If you wanna be with me, copy and paste this on your profile. This is me. Practically everything about me. Gender: Male Hair: Jet Black Eyes: Amber Age: 10-20 (secret) BFF’s: Review my stories and you will be. Origin: My mom's from China, my dad's from Hong Kong, and I was born in the US. Faves: Color: shrug Book/Book Series: Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, Inheritance, Maximum Ride, Song of the Lioness, The Immortals, Protector of the Small, Tricksters, Circle Of Magic, Ranger's Apprentice, The Circle Opens, Will of the Empress, Children of the Lamp Gems: Smoky Quartz, Ruby, Aquamarine, Emerald, White Gold, Sapphire, Pearl...the list goes on... Anime/Manga: Naruto(anniversary or my obssesion soon!), Elfen Lied (FUCKIN' AWESOME), Bleach (sorta) Video Games: Pokemon, Super Smash Bros, Naruto, Paper Mario, Others: Magic, Fanfics, Big number of reviews Quotes: (I just realized how big this got) Good, because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up!-Gazzy, MR3 I vill now eat nine snikuhs bahrs, visout bahfing!-Gazzy "Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm nod God!"-a T-shirt "I hate you!"=Me This next sentence contains mild profanity. Just so you know. (if you get the joke, copy and paste this onto your profile. This new attitude felt a little like a stay of execution. Sometimes Kankuro had thought it was just a matter of time before the kid snapped and killed them all. Now there was a chance he’d be the main thing that kept them all alive with all the strange crap happening in the village as their father continued to lose it and caused fractioning in the shinobi ranks. Of course, with the way Gaara was treated, Kankuro wouldn’t have even been able to blame him, really if he had snapped and killed them all. That was the hardest part. He didn’t know how to be an older brother to the kid, but he was kind of looking forward to figuring it out now that his fear was slowly trickling away. Wasn’t it an older brother’s job to introduce the younger sibling to things like the wonders of girls? Wow…that would be awkward.-Senju Naruto, Chapter 20, by Baal of Yarns Gaara never slept. …Or, if and when he did, bad things happened. Bad things, like sand demons exploding out of gourds, growing bigger than mountains, and stampeding over forests. Those kinds of bad things. “You are in my range of Divination!” Neji shouted Professor Trelawney had happen to be passing by when Neji had shouted Hmmm, I think I’ll use that phrase from now on-Hogwarts Infiltrated, Chapter 2, by Golden Millenium Flashback Neji had just stepped into a strange room when he met a cracked up woman named Professor Trelawney. As soon as he and stepped near her to ask where he was, she shouted "You are in my range of Divination!" Neji was so surprised by it he accidentally killed her along with 8 witnesses. (End very short flashback)-Hogwarts Infiltrated, Chapter 2, by Golden Millenium About a month late Minato arrived home to find Kushina wearing the oddest little grin on her face. “Is something wrong?” “Hmmm, well that would depend on your definition of wrong,” Kushina said trying to sound mysterious. “In this case I wouldn’t think there was anything wrong.” “All right what’s going on?” He asked. “I was feeling a little sick this morning so I went to see the doctor.” “Wait, you saw the doctor? Kushina are you sick?” Minato said worriedly. She put a finger to her lips and looked like she was considering that. “Well I caught something when we were in the rose garden but I wouldn’t call it a sickness. Though I have a condition.” “A condition?” Now Minato sounded really worried. “Is it serious?” She nodded. “Very serious, but I should be over it in about another eight months.” “Eight months? What sort of condition is this? How did you get it?” Her eyes twinkled with amusement. “You gave it to me.” “I did? Are you sure?” “Very sure.” She saw understanding begin to dawn on him. “Does that mean I have this too?” She burst out laughing. “I really hope not. That would be really hard to explain to people.” “Huh?” He looked completely confused. “Baka!” She playfully pretended to give him a noogie. “How did you end up becoming Hokage when you’re so dense? I’m PREGNANT.” He looked at her in shock. “You’re pregnant?” He whispered. She laughed. “Yeah, you knocked me up good Minato-kun honey.”-A Mother's Love: The Life of Kushina, by lord of the land of fire When you first started your journey, you lived shamelessly off hot soda pop, bread, and candy. But you soon learned that soda pop tends to explode after frequent walking, candy gets stolen by the friendly neighborhood Zigzagoon, (the next one to come within a ten foot radius of your food supplies is going to get Mari’s teeth sunk into its furry ass), and bread just doesn’t taste or look good after lots of walking in ever-changing weather conditions, especially through (as trainer’s around Hoenn often joke) Mother Nature’s time of the month--that is, when things turn rainy and miserable. With that lesson learned, you’ve currently been living off trail mix, H20, and baked potato chips, more or less.-Anamnesis, by Saffire Persian “I’m going to quit,” she said in a small voice. “Wha… what did you say?” Ino asked suddenly startled out of her usual banter with Hinata. “I said I’m going to quit,” Sakura spoke in a more forceful tone. “Why should I continue when it’s obvious I’m never going to be anything but a weakling?” “But you’re not weak Sakura-chan,” Hinata insisted. “You can’t just give up.” “Mousey is right!” Ino said earning a glare from Hinata. “Even if you are weak you can’t just give up!” “That’s right!” Chouji said between bites. “It would be really troublesome if we had to find a new friend,” Shikamaru added. “It doesn’t matter!” Sakura said. “I’m a weakling! What’s the use when I’m so weak?” “If you don’t want to be weak then do something about it,” Naruto said. “That’s easy for you to say Naruto, you’re already strong.” She said. “Sakura-chan, how do you think I got strong? I had to work at it, When I go home I train and I train on weekends.” Naruto told her. “If you want to be strong you have to make a commitment and work. There are no short cuts.” “Or you can be lazy and not care,” Shikamaru offered.-A Father's Love, by lord of the land of fire "There’s something I want to announce.” She looked over to the Hokage. “Would you like to do the honors old man?” Sarutobi shook his head. “No Tsunade, go ahead by all means.” “Well to make a long story short, a couple months ago the old man asked me to take over for him so he could retire.” “What?!” Jiraiya screeched. “Why her? Why didn’t you ask me?!” Sarutobi sighed. “I asked her because she was one of the legendary Sannin who I knew the Council would accept without dispute.” “So am I!” Jiraiya shouted. “Yes, but she is not a pornographer.” Sarutobi said tiredly. Jiraiya sniffed. “My novels are not pornography. They are adult themed literature and hugely popular.” “You do know don’t you that if you were Hokage you wouldn’t be able to go on anymore of your disgusting, ‘research’ trips anymore.” Tsunade said icily. Jiraiya smirked. “I didn’t say I would do it. I just said I should have been asked.”-A Mother's Love, Chapter 14, by lord of the land of fire Walking back into his home he could smell dinner cooking and wandered into the kitchen. “Is that your ramen I smell?” Looking up from the stove Kushina smiled and nodded. “It is, I think you deserve a special treat tonight.” “Thanks mom. Listen I have to go take care of something and it will probably take about an hour so I may be a little late to dinner.” “That’s fine son, what are you taking care of?” “Well I’m about to go rescue Yugito, exterminate Akatsuki, save the world, and probably level most of Rain village.” He thought about it for a second. “Yeah, an hour should about do it.”-A Mother's Love, Chapter 99, by lord of the land of fire “Shino-kun even took off his sun glasses off, he thought it’ll scare Kouta.” Hinata said. “No way!” Sakura gasped, “Did he look weird?” “He actually has very handsome eyes.” Kurenai-sensei piped up. “Sort of Hazel-green.” “Awwww, I missed it!” Naruto groaned aloud. “I don’t understand this ‘hazel-green’… is it Hazel, or green?” Sai said, intrigued more by the color of Shino’s eyes than he was to the baby—in fact, Naruto recalled that the stoic boy actually shrugged when he saw Kouta, as if saying—‘what’s the big deal?’ “Both, duh.” Naruto snapped before turning away to look at the baby, trying to find what part looked more like Kurenai, or Asuma. He always had difficulties before, but it seemed to blossom right before his eyes as the baby scrunched it’s face. The baby definitely had Asuma’s ‘when can I get a smoke’ face. Naruto inwardly chuckled. “Both…. Hazel…and green? Like… like throw up?” Sai blurted.-Let's Back Up, by jupitrie “The old pervert was showing off when he demonstrated the technique,” Naruto began. “Some of those toads are really big. I wouldn’t dare try using them when we’re on a mission – one of them might eat Shino, just to get all his bugs.”-Team 8, by S'TarKan Look, which of your teammates would you rather face in a serious fight?” “Oh. Hinata, of course.” “What do you mean, ‘of course’?” Kurenai asked in a deceptively mild tone. “Well, Shino’s bigger, and he hits harder.” “But wouldn’t Hinata’s Jyuuken hurt more?” “Maybe, but I don’t think she’d use it on a teammate.” Kurenai sighed. “All right then, outside our team. Say… would you rather face Sasuke or Sakura.” The boy visibly shuddered. “S-sasuke.” Kurenai stopped dead in her tracks. Naruto would rather face the Uchiha genius? Maybe he was still afraid of offending his crush… “Why is that?” she asked him. “Sakura hits really, really hard when she’s mad,” Naruto whispered.-Team Eight, Chapter 2, by S'TarKan f all the countless excuses Naruto could have made up, that was by far the WORST thing he said in the hearing ears of Gai and Lee. “YOSH,” Gai shouted with enthusiasm with tears falling down his face, “THE WORDS OF MY ETERNAL RIVAL ABOUT NARUTO RINGS BELLS OF TRUTH!! THE FIRES OF YOUTH SHINES STRONG IN NARUTO!! HE HIMSELF APPRECIATES THE FRUITAGES OF BEING A GENIUS OF HARD WORK LIKE MY STUDENT LEE!!” “GAI-SENSEI,” Lee shouted with tears also falling down his face, “I WILL PUSH MYSELF HARDER AS A GENIUS OF HARD LIKE NARUTO-KUN TO BECOME STRONGER!! ONLY THROUGH HARD WORK WILL I BECOME A GREAT SHINOBI AND TAIJUTSU EXPERT!! I WILL RUN THREE HUNDRED LAPS AROUND KONOHA BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY!! IF I FAIL IN DOING THAT, I’LL DO FIVE HUNDRED LAPS AND FOUR HUNDRED PUSH-UPS!!” “YOSH!! I WILL HELP YOU ATTAIN YOUR DREAMS IN BECOMING A GREAT SHINOBI AND TAIJUTSU EXPERT!!” “I WON’T LET YOU DOWN!!” “LEE!!” “GAI-SENSEI!!” “LEE!!” “GAI-SENSEI!!” “LEE!!” “GAI-SENSEI!!” “LEE!!” “GAI-SENSEI!!” The two of them then engaged in a hug with tears still flowing down their faces and, logic be damned, with a sunset at the beach with crashing waves on the shores in the background. Naruto’s right eye started twitching involuntarily at the scene which he found rather disturbing.-Neo Yondaime Hokage Itachi and Kisame are fighting Teams 8, 10, Sakura, and Kakashi. Naruto and Sasuke nowhere in sight. Two courier-nins jump out of the trees: “Special delivery for Uchiha Itachi! One crate of pocky!” Itachi: "POCKY!!" jumps over to courier-nins Kisame berates him as one courier-nin has him sign the delivery form and takes his money, and the second hands him a crate. Itachi tears off lid and starts gorging on pocky in bliss. A disgusted Kisame throws down sword and surrenders on condition they get him away from his crazy pocky-obsessed partner. Itachi chokes and falls over dead, a look of Nirvana on his face. Courier-nin One nudges him with foot. nudge nudge “Yup! He’s dead!” With a “Kai!” and a poof of smoke, he reveals himself as Naruto. “Operation Poison Pocky is a Success!” thumbs up Courier-nin Two also releases a henge, revealing himself as Sasuke and smirks at the clipboard in his hand. “And we made 3000 ryo off him too.” they high five each other Sasuke: “One sec” kicks body “Bastard!” Naruto: “Feel better?” Sasuke: “Yup, all better now. Later Naruto: “Hey, why do I feel like we’re forgetting something?” elsewhere a figure creeps up “At last! I will get the Sharingan and become immortal! Then no one will stop me, the great Snake Sennin Orochimaru! Kukukuku! Say, is that pocky?”-Special Delivery, by Ebona Night Naruto glared at the door for several more seconds before turning his attention back to me, a big smile planted on his face now. “Sooooo, what are going to practice first, eating fancy, how to dress fancy, how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’-?” “We are going to practice how to properly introduce yourself at the door.” I cut in, banishing my worries for the moment. Naruto’s face fell. “What!? There’s actually a…a …technique to using the front door?” Naruto exclaimed. “Of course, presenting yourself correctly is vital at that stage and can be the difference between someone letting you in, or leaving you standing by the street.” Naruto and I quickly made our way through the long hallways, my blonde-haired friend eager to get the ‘easy parts’ over with. So we soon reached the front door and opened it, but we were certainly taken aback by what we saw on the other side. “Greetings,” my father announced as soon as we opened the door, earning a shriek of surprise from Naruto, which he chose to ignore as he bowed lowly, “My name is Aburame Shibi, of the Aburame clan, and I am here on the premises of the Aburame clan to beseech my wife and son to be let inside so to be included in their generous grace and hospitality.” XXXXXXXX My father rose to his full enormous height and extended a single hand before me, without hesitation I rested it on the palm of my left hand as I placed my right on top. “I, Aburame Shino, welcome you, Aburame Shibi to the Aburame clan and am honored to have you here.” My father gently pulled his hand out of mine and bowed low once more, “Thank-you, Aburame Shino, I do here now swear to be both respectful and honorable to both your guests and your property.” “I accept you’re swearing and wish you, Aburame Shibi, to have a pleasant stay during your time spent in the Aburame clan,” I bowed back. My father rose once again and walked past me and into the house without another word. Once he was gone I turned my attention to Naruto, who had long been passed the initial surprised terror and was now giving me a look between confused and amused. “And…uh…what was that exactly?” he asked pointing a finger and moving it between me and the space where my father once stood. “That,” Shikamaru spoke up stepping into the doorway with a slight grin on his face, “Was the Stoic and Troublesome Useless Passageway Into Door…or STUPID for short.”-How it Feels to Hatch, by Zeer Naruto, Shikamaru, and I practiced STUPID well into the day. With me acting as the honorable host who opens the door and welcomes Naruto in, Naruto acting as an (in progress) respectful guest who asks to be let in, and Shikamaru acting as himself who bops Naruto on the head whenever he screws up and tells him what he did wrong, which sadly has been a lot. “Ow ow ow ow!” Naruto declared as he rubbed his head and jumped from one foot to the other, “Would you quit that!? You hit an already hitten part that time!” “Well you need to learn that hugging isn’t the best way to thank someone when they invite you in,” Shikamaru scolded, shaking his sore hand, “I promise you, any kind of physical contact besides the whole lame hand holding thing will get you thrown out here quicker than you can say ‘believe it!’” “’Believe it’ huh…” Naruto mused as he rubbed his chin in thought, a slow smile spread across his face, “Hey I like that! Believe it...yeah I can do this formal front door thing no sweat…BELIEVE IT!” Shikamaru and I stood there in silence for a brief moment, and from my position in the doorway I swear I could feel a breeze blow through us as a tumbleweed rolled somewhere in the distance. “Naruto…I swear to whatever higher power is up there…if you say…that phrase…one more time…I will not only hit you on the head I shall also learn my family’s technique today, no matter how troublesome it may be, and use it on you so many times you won’t know how to say ‘Believe it’ unless some one asks you ‘Hey, did you get your ass handled by Nara Shikamaru?’” “Okay Okay I won’t say it no more!” Naruto assured, holding his hands up defensively. “Anymore!” Shikamaru corrected, “It’s I won’t say it anymore! If you hope to even step one foot inside that Hyuuga party you’d better learn proper grammar right here, RIGHT NOW!” “Sure, right, I’ll learn to talk properly, believe i-!” the poor boy tried to cut himself off but the damage was done. With raging eyes Shikamaru leapt at the defenseless boy, “THAT’S IT, COME HERE YOU!” “AHHHH HELP HELP AMARANTE, SHIKAMARU’S GONE CRAZY!” Naruto cried out as he raced past me and into the house, slamming the door behind him which in turn knocked me from my position and into the ground. With a sigh I quickly stood up to see Shikamaru standing still in the same position that he landed in, and he was staring down at his risen hands. “Shikamaru…” I called softly, taking careful steps towards him, “Are you alright?” “Good Lord,” Shikamaru breathed looking up at me and causing me to freeze, his face was pure horror and astonishment, “I’ve become my mother!"-How it Feels to Hatch, by Zeer “What is it you seek of me Kami-sama? Ask and I shall do anything you require of me.” Kami smiled, seeing that the boy she had watched since he was young was slowly coming back. Deciding to act the part of a young girl for a moment and not the benevolent creator, she joked with him. “Burn that outfit. Its hideous.” Naruto stood with wide eyes and wider mouth, making Kami giggle. When he spoke it was hesitant and faltering. “But…but…. but orange is your gift to the world Kami-sama. Why would you want me to destroy something as beautiful as my suit?”-Bring The Hammer Down by pudgypudge Naruto caught him looking and grinned. Time for his payback. "So... you like Sakura?" he grinned. "I told you, idiot, she's just my friend," Sasuke gritted out through his teeth, really not wanting to have to deal with Naruto and expend energy by punching him when he still six laps to go. "I want proof then. Here's the fail-safe way: say "I don't like Sakura" five times with a straight face, and I'll know it's true," the blond grinned, shaking a sweaty piece of hair out of his eyes. "That's stupid," Sasuke scoffed, wiping his forehead. "You're just scared to do it," Naruto said, smirking. "Fine," Sasuke growled, "I don't -twitch- like Sakura -smirk-..." Naruto burst out laughing so hard he had to stop running and rest his hands on his knees, "You didn't even get through one time!! Man, have you got it bad!!" "SHUT UP!! I JUST... HAD TO SNEEZE!!"-Say It With a Straight Face, by deceiving fallen angel Sakura opened her mouth to speak, but then Kakashi appeared in a puff of smoke and said a simple, classic, “Yo.” “Oh, hi.” Naruto said. “Let’s go.” Kakashi stared at Naruto. After a few seconds, he said, “Quick, answer me! What is you favorite food?’ “Ramen.” Naruto said immediately, and then stared back. “Why are you asking me this?” Jeez, what was wrong with the world? Kakashi leaned on the nearest available tree. “Well, I had to make sure you were actually Naruto, and not a spy. Usually, the moment I arrive, you always whine about me being late.” “YOU ARE ALWAYS LATE!” Naruto yelled, realizing with fury that he hadn’t scolded Kakashi at all. “READING THOSE PERVERTED NOVELS OF YOURS!” “Just a delayed reaction, I see.” Kakashi chuckled.-Discontinued, Chapter 1, by CaliforiaWriter These scenes have been blocked for… Obvious reasons… Meanwhile, please enjoy these adverts: Have you ever been insulted by a jerk? Or hurt by a meanie? Well now, there is… JERK REPELLER! Available in a stylish new blue carry case. Jerk not included.-My anime kingdom, by WilloeRubyBelle Leanne nodded and took her pillow away from her face so she could hug it to her chest. "I saying bye-bye to Tibarn and Janaff and Ulki. I wanting to say, 'Have a nice trip back,' but I forget how. So I say, 'Have a knife in you back,' and Tibarn confused. I think of other to say: 'Have fun time going home,' but I say..." At this Leanne sniffed, trying to hold back tears. "I say... 'Have fun time doing whores.'" Naesala could imagine the look on Reyson's face upon hearing his sister talk about whores. He was finding it hard not to laugh, but fortunately he was able to restrain himself. Tears were once again streaming down Leanne's face as she continued. "They all look at me upset, and Tibarn look angry. I realize what I say and then I... I run back here..." Naesala put his arm around Leanne as she sobbed into his jacket. "Leanne, I'm sure they know that you meant to say something else... You're still learning the language. It's a common mistake!" Well, I'm sure not many people accidently substitute 'whores' for 'home,' but I won't tell her that.-Two Weeks, chapter 10, by crazygunbladergirl “Oh, Ash-honey!” they heard Ash’s mother from downstairs calling. “I see your shoes are here. I hope you’re not doing anything in your room that you’re not supposed to.” “Oh, Ash!” May called out, her voice dripping in sarcasm. “Help me get my clothes on!”-May's Crush: Final Frontier, by PikaMaster ADV. "If I'm the hope for the future, we are very, very screwed."-A Mother's Love, by lord of the land of fire “Chouji! Checklist! Rice?” Sakura called out, her check board held in front of her. “Check!” “Noodles?” “Check!” “Dried meat?” “Check!” “Corn?” “Check!” “Wheat?” “Check!” “Rations?” “Check!” “Ino! Medical supplies! Bandages?” “Check?” “Herbs?” “All ready and complete!” “A simple check will suffice, Ino.” “Oh, sorry!” “No problem. Burn salves?” “Check!” “Ramen??” “Chec… Naruto!” “Don’t say random things, baka!” “Itaaiii! That hurt Sakura-chaan! And it wasn’t random! What about the Ramen?” “What about Icha Icha Paradise! They aren’t written in the future… past! Are they packed! Are they safe! Do we have them? Oh no! We can’t leave yet until they are all packed! Sak—“ Whump! “Kakashiiiii!!” “Sakura-chan is scaarry!” “But what about the Ramen!” “Naruto! We can buy Ramen in town! Calm down!” “Oh… But what about my sleeping cap, Mr. Mooshie! We can’t leave him behind!” “Mr. Mooshie?” Echoed Neji, Ino and Chouji. And this guy was eighteen?-Holding Destiny With Your Own Two Hands Ino looked at her two boys and tried to encourage them. “All right this is it team ten! This is going to a brutal desperate fight where everyone we run into will be an enemy out to attack us. Now what are we going to do?!” She waited for them to shout, ‘fight’ loudly and in unison. “Hide?” Chouji suggested. “Quit.” Shikamaru offered. Ino buried her head in her hands and screamed.-A Mother's Love, by lord of the land of fire That was all he got out, before Michael punched him in the face. Blood dribbled out of his nose and mouth. I burst out laughing, until I about pissed myself. “You punched Donny! Donny is going to have you arrested for assault!” “Oh really, I punched you” Michael said. “I don’t remember that. Did I punch him Robin?” “If I remember, Donny slipped and fell on his face” Robin said. “Donny slipped, while sitting down?” Donny exclaimed. “Stranger things have happened” Michael said.-A Little Night Music, Chapter 23, by srgeman “How much money, would you pay me to drink this?” Louis asked, holding up a Long Island Ice Tea, “Or better yet, how much, would you pay me, to drink it in one gulp?” “Is this a service you’re providing?” Michael asked. “Yes, I expect you to pay me for drinking this! I expect” Lisa reached over, and flipped the drink over, and dumped it on the floor. “Hey, where’d my drink go?” “You already drank it” Lisa said. “Oh, right” Louis said, before picking up a martini.-A Little Night Music, Chapter 24, by srgeman Some of the other children were bothering the legendary dragons. “Dialga! Can you send me back in time so that my head is on backwards!!” “No can do,” Dialga said, shaking his head. “If I sent you back in time you might meet yourself and the world would explode! Want to be sent forward instead?” “Hey Palkia!” another kid pleaded. “Could you turn me into Lugia! I want to fly!! Pleeease?” “Sorry kid,” Palkia said. “I can’t let you do that, you’d drown in the ocean! How about a game of tag instead?” “Hey Rayquaza!” another child said. “Could you help us build a big tower of blocks?” Suddenly, all the talking in the entire room ceased. Everyone froze in horror. A fork dropped somewhere. “Oh, no,” Char muttered, cringing. “He didn’t… he didn’t just say that…” Rayquaza uncoiled itself and floated up to the top of the room, seething in anger. “BLOCKS??” it roared. “You want me, the legendary dragon of the skies, to play with blocks??” Char covered his eyes and peeked through his claws, awaiting the inevitable response…. “RAYQUAZA DOES NOT PLAY WITH BLOCKS!!it boomed, shaking the entire building. “RAYQUAZA UNLEASHES HYPER BEAM AND DESTROYS ALL!!”-Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, The Silver Resistance, by ScytheRider "Dude! Do you have any idea how much having your head chopped off friggin' hurts?!" Hidan, Naruto Naruto woke up to find a white ceiling above his head. “Am I in heaven?” He said to himself. When he sat up he saw Kiba, Shino, and Hinata at the end of his bed. “Oh no! Kiba is here! This must be that other place!” Naruto screamed. “Fuck you Uzumaki! That’s the last time I come and visit you in the hospital!” Kiba screamed back.-Hive, Chapter 24, by Tsunami227 SubClass: When life gives you lemons: Chuck them back at life and scream, "I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!"-Dragonology's profile Make lemon juice. Sour, sticky, and it looks like piss.-Me Jokes: (Warning, some of these are racist, violent, or otherwise objective to viewers.) The Three People on a Boat Joke (racism against Mexicans) There were three people on a boat. One was Japanese, one was Mexican, and one was American. The Japanese person was playing a Nintendo DS. The Mexican was playing with his sombrero. And the American was pacing back and forth. Suddenly, the Japanese person picked up his DS, and threw it into the sea. At the others' questioning looks, he shrugged and said, "We have too many of these." So the Mexican picked up his sombrero, and threw into the sea. At the others' questioning looks, he shrugged and said, "We have too many of these." Then the American picked up the Mexican, and threw him into the sea. At the Japanese's appalled look, he shrugged and said, "We have too many of these." The Four People Watching TV Joke There were 4 people. They were all watching TV, and they were all reeeally stupid. The first man was watching a football game, and his favorite team one. “We did it, we did it, we did it IN YO FACES!” The second man was watching a horror movie. “Knives, knives, KNIVES!!” The third man was watching a children’s movie. “Mama, he stole my lollipop” The fourth man was watching a commercial. “Plug it in, plug it in.” Suddenly, a police officer burst in from the door. “Somebody killed this man.” He said, pointing at a picture. “Did you do it?” “We did it, we did it, we did it IN YO FACES!!” “What’d you do it with?” “Knives, knives, KNIVES!” “Why’d you do it?” “Mama, he stole my lollipop!” “You’ll be put in an electric chair for murder!” “Plug it in, plug it in!” Stupid and Ironic things: (A sign on top of a fish tank) DO NOT PLACE ITEMS ON FISH TANK (seriously, what the hell?) (Words on everybody's shirt in a school club) Be Different! (See above) (Words on a Nutrition Facts thingy for Peanuts) Warning: May contain nuts. (What if in didn't? Could you sue?) Did you know... WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. The Laws Of Friendship None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship. 1. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 2. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 3. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 4. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be. 5. When you are confused, I will use little words. 6. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have. 7. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Hmm. In Naruto, there's such things as combination elements. Water + Wind Equals= Ice and that sorta thing. Here's my take on all of them. Fire + Water=Steam. Fire + Earth=Magma (canon) Fire + Lightning = Powered up Lightning Fire + Wind = Powered up Fire Water + Lightning = Powered up Lightning Water + Earth = Wood (canon) Water + Wind = Ice (canon) Lightning + Wind = Weakened Lightning? (Wind blows away thunderclouds) A tornado? Lightning + Earth = Magnets, Machines, or Glass Wind + Earth = Sand (canon? Gaara uses sand) Here is my dream pokemon team: Infernape: Holding White Herb, Close Combat, Flare Blitz, Fire Punch, Rock Climb Torterra: Holding Hard Stone, Frenzy Plant, Earthquake, Rock Slide, Giga Drain Empoleon: Holding Nevermeltice, Ice Beam, Surf, Hydro Cannon, Steel Wing Zapdos: Holding Leftovers, Ancient Power, Thunderbolt, Psychic, Drill Peck Spiritomb: Holding Wide Lense, Toxic, Dream Eater, Protect, Hypnosis Latias: Holding Power Herb: Draco Meteor, Dragon Claw, Psychic, Ice Beam p.s. 92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return Man Life Sucks, The Poisoned Doughnut of DOOM, knittingpanda, MysticalPearl, Darkamber8828. If you have read the same book more then 3 times in one day, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are proud to admit that you are probably a nerd, copy and paste this on your profile. If you read Maximum Ride The Angel Experiment in under 5 hours copy this onto your profile. If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile. If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in under two hours, copy this into your profile. If you read Maximum Ride The Final Warning in under 2 hour, copy and paste this onto your profile If you read Maximum Ride: Max in under 2 hours, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think James Patterson ran out of plot ideas when he wrote Maximum Ride 4 and 5, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have/wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile. If you are bored of my profile, quit. Pelleas: Micaiah... Kill me, it's the only way. If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile. Down with Humans! I'm a member of the New Chu Order! If you're a member of the New Chu Order, copy and paste this into your profile. If you don't know what New Chu Order is (and like pokemon), read A Little Night Music on my Favorites list, and then copy this and the line above on your profile. If you think homework is stupid (and if you are in school, you probably do), copy and paste this on to your profile. If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile. If you think (or know) your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile. If you hear voices of characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile. If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull, or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ignored or skipped to this part of my profile, and you are bored, quit. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile. Post this on your profile if you hate racism The white man said, "Coloured people aren't allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was Black, when I grew up I was Black, when I'm sick I'm Black,when I go in the sun I'm Black, when I'm cold I'm Black,and when I die I will be Black. But you sir, when you're born you're Pink, when you grow up you where White, when you're sick you're Green, when you're in the sun you're Red, when you're cold you're Blue, and when you die you will be Purple. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man turned around and sat down, and the white man walked away... If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read a book past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you know how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism but don't have a clue as to what the heck it means, copy and paste this on to your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you skipped both of the warnings, and you are bored, the end is in sight. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. () _ () 98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile. Copy, Paste, then add a monkey to help them build an army so they can invade Mars. In fact, add as many as you can. @(C-C)@ If you made it this far to the end of my profile, without skipping, congratulations. You just wasted a part of your life. | |||||
1. Fire Emblem: the flickering radiance reviewsOkay. Let’s assume Ike didn’t go to lands beyond, that the Greil Mercs are still together, that evil people still exist, and a group of rebels is gonna take over the world, or die trying. That's enough information to write a story about, right? TelliusFire Emblem - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,010 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12-7-082. Oops » reviewsSakura's a dog. Naruto takes her in, and grows slightly-more-than-slightly attached to her. First chapter's a full summary/excerpt. NaruSaku, SakuNaru, NarutoxSakura, SakuraxNaruto I don't own Naruto.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-10-08 - Sakura H. & Naruto U.
