Quote of the Day: "I got a whole bunch of glass bottles, then ate them." - Grell cosplayer at Wai-con '09 on Unnaturally Sharp Teeth

Welcome, Reader-dono, I am ADDVengeance, also known as Vengeance, Ven, Skylar, L, George, Godzilla, or Featherwinkle Berrysamson.

Moving on.

Before the Universe began, some idiot named Samson 'accidentally' dropped a match in the gunpowder room of a dynamite factory. Real smart. This, of course, resulted in the Big Bang. From the fireball sweeping through the hollow Universe burst forth MICROSOFT PAINT. With it's simplistic tools and superior integration into society, it created the galaxies and worlds within this watermelon-shaped 'verse. There, on our barren, cold, pre-pre-pre-historic Earth, was Shinji. Now, Shinji was finally paid four million American dollars by the evil corporation called Gonzo. Or, as I like to refer to them, Noah's other family. Then he buggered off, and the universe was pure again. During this time of Purity, Ichiruki, Fax, Sega, Squaresoft/Square Enix, Rooster Teeth, Hiromu Arakawa, Kubo Tite, Hyrule, Dragoons, Bruce the Shark, American Football, UVERworld, Shinigami, Innocence, The Discworld, Linkin Park, Aqua Timez, and the Death Note were all created. Not all at the same time, mind you. If that had happened... Whoo! One big pot of evil, musical, Australian shark-fin soup would be floating somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse! But, alas, it was not so. All was at peace... Until 'Pink' was created.

There was a prophecy, stated by the goddess Midna: When the world is smothered in lightish-red armor, Shonen will arise and free all those people who wished they could skateboard, but were too lazy to actually learn, and teach them cool flippy tricks. Like Dolphins. But, before she could say any more, a mute adolescent in green pajamas took it upon himself to grab her by the ear and drag her, kicking and screaming, back into the Twilight Realm.

Pink flooded the minds and pages of manga, until shoujou came into being. Over all beings and thoughts Pink ruled the Queens of Shoujou: Bella, Orihime, Tohru and Yuki. Shun Shun Vampire Fruit Knights were their guards, and none but the most daring, namely two masculine heroes (Ichigo and Cloud Strife), could get past them.

Our two heroes charged into battle, their absolutely HUGE swords drawn, itching to spill pink and purple shoujou blood. Left and right they sliced, diced, shaked (Is it shook? Yes, it's shook, but it doesn't fit the literary device used), and baked the Shun Shun Vampire Fruit Knights. Although said royal guards were strong, our heroes were stronger because they had been blessed with the light of Shounen! (you actually have to say 'exclamation point') and so, they were able to reflect the Knights' special Doki Doki Kawaii Moe Cherry Blossom Power.

When the heroes finally prevailed, the four queens were damned to the fiery pits of backstage of High School Musical: The Concert, where they had to listen to the said show's soundtrack on replay. The CD player was plugged into a stand-alone Generator that would run until either the world ended, or Naruto admitted to being in love with Yumichika. The former happened first. It wasn't my fault. Zorc did it.

Ichigo and Cloud ruled their world justly and kindly, protecting their citizens and passing judgment on those who deserved it. Like internet scammers. And those Indian people who call during dinner to announce that you have won an exclusive, all-expenses-paid trip to Albuquerque, they take Visa. No offense to Indians. Or American Indians. Or Canadian Indians, either.

I digress.

The two kings took wives of Rukia and Tifa respectively, much to the pleasure of OTP-ians worldwide. Soon after, more Champions joined their ranks: Reno/Axel, Neville Longbottom, Roy Mustang, and the Creator of Pocky. Whoever that is. There was peace throughout all of… where they lived. They never actually specify where these people live. Unless it’s important to the plot. Which it isn’t. So no more tangents from me.

But, alas, alac! The peace could not be upheld! For a new Reincarnation of Shoujou had appeared, more powerful and evil and ditzy than all the previous queens put together. And although she appeared to be cute and good-natured, inside, she was as pink as Death itself. And her name was….(Dramatic pause)… Misa Amane. Yes, this supposedly sweet, harmless Second Kira was the mastermind behind a malicious plot to overthrow those who stood for light, justice, and Pocky. For Pocky is man’s best friend… but more about that later.

Misa, along with her army of Zombified Managers, stormed the Floating Continent, attempting to wrench power away from its rightful kings. The Champions knew that once again they would have to wield their blades (Or wands, gloves, Pocky Throwing Knives, etc.) in the name of San!ty, Justice, and the Flight Attendant Union of Malaysia.

The Heroes declared war on the Second Kira and her large army, leaving not one of her Zombified Managers alive. Well, except for maybe one. He was resurrected into normal life through his own force of will. And he was too quirky to be a Zombie, so was rejected from his mob. Matsuda was his name, and although he was male and ditzy, he became a valuable fountain of information about Misa and her sleeping habits. He even wrote a book. ‘The Life, Times, Death, and Afterlife of Amane Misa’. Topped the charts for several months. Or whatever they use to rank best-selling books.

Now, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought. That’s not very easy… I mean, trains are fairly big. And they can only travel on preset rails- Ah! Right, Matsuda and Misa.

After Matsuda joined the Shonen-exclamationpoint investigative forces, our Champions were able to track down and corner Misa’s forces in a small corner of the world map- I mean, a dead-ended valley. Misa had stored her Staraptor in the PC, so she wasn’t able to Fly back to her luxury home in the Hoenn region. After The Kings' army besieged the town inside of which Misa was holed up, the Second Kira surrendered and was sent to the Shinigami’s Realm, where, many years later, she died of a Kawaii-induced hemorrhage after a freak encounter and tea party with Yachiru Kusajishi, 11th division Lieutenant.

And the World, if that is what it is, was at peace once more.

But because things in these types of stories can't stay peaceful for long, something went wrong. Actually, a few thing went wrong. First off, due to a wave of multi-pairing Xover fics, all the Kings mysteriously disappeared whilst evil-hunting, the only clue uncovered the first page of a Danny Phantom "first fic plz reveiw xD" left at the scene. Subsequently, their wives, after contracting OOC, fell into disarray. Rukia and Tifa nearly came to blows choosing who would be High Queen, Riza and Elena were caught up in a huge court case after using stableboys for target practice, and Luna was hospitalized with Pudding withdrawal.

A wave of unrest swept over the land. Villages revolted against their Lords, crops failed, and famine crept into even the wealthiest houses. But the worst was yet to come. One day, as the sun set into the far east oceans, a single silhouette climbed upon a hill framed by grey dusk. The man beckoned, and so rolled a wave of silver-pink Twilight fangirls over the country, burning all books that were not of Stephanie Meyer's hand. And thus began the reign of Emperor Cullen, and although prone to angst attacks of the go-hide-in-Italy-for-a-while variety, he continued his search for his "One True Air Freshener", Bella Swan(who, as we know, was banished to... well, go read it again yourself).

But it was only a matter of time before a ray of hope would appear. Emperor Cullen acknowledged this, and, after looking over the latest uprising statistics, decided to seal off Japan, renaming it "Area 21" and converting it into a mass of ghettos and High-stakes Casino/Hotels.

You know how the story goes, yes? A group of boys, their hearts ablaze with passion for freedom and for their country, emerged from the slums of Area 21 and made a promise to resurrect their peoples' pride. This group called themselves the "Shounen Knights", in remembrance of the glorious champions from the tales of old (a.k.a. five paragraphs previous), and was made up of Kobayakawa Sena, ace of the Deimon Devil Bats, Taisuke Kanou, Flame-starter (you know that Flame War way back when on 4chan? Taisuke started it XD), Lavi, an exorcist, Zero, a chess champion, and the Yogurt Pocky Man.

The Shounen Knights had their chipmunk mechanics mass produce large, humanoid robot frames known as Daydreams and proceeded to revolt against Emperor Cullen and the Twilightian Empire. Various companies and syndicates began investing in the rebel front, to the point of deploying their special-ops corps as backup for the main forces battering at the govoner of the Area's defenses. The current Govener, a Mary Sue effectively known as Seraphina Dazzlinelle Bubble Flowerbloom Smith, clashed with Zero on the battlefield, and an important discovery in the field of Sue-ology was made: although intelligence levels of Sues tend to vary in the classroom, when faced with a hated Bishi, Sues can be whipped up in a frenzy (of love or hate, it is difficult to decipher which), and whilst depleting energy stores at a substantially faster rate, the Sue enjoys a temporary IQ boost of an estimated 20 points (A/N: Whoowee, Id love 20 points) and heightened senses. Of course Zero, being the chess champion he was, was able to easily crush Seraphina Dazzlinelle Bubble Flowerbloom and gained a great number of followers in the process. Long story short, the Shonen Knights grew and acquired hordes of faceless, nameless CPU troops and emerged triumphant from Boss battle after Boss battle.

As 60 hour games always come to an end, Emperor Cullen's downfall was imminent. Through the combined efforts of the newest generation of heros, Taisuke was able to bring down the Emperor in a one-on-one battle, complete with a finishing cutscene, a level up, and horrible voice acting. And as soon as the Evil was washed from the land-

SHINJI RETURNED AND WIPED OUT ALL USER-UPLOADED VIDEOS FROM CRUNCHYROLL. It seems forty million American dollars isn't enough. Sigh. No, really. CR's done a Maplestory and has turned on it's users to pick the pockets of throngs of anti-social American teens. Yeah, it's all fine and dandy; smart people who have even a scrap of patience can make use of such a valuable anime resource FOR FREE, play most maps and regions FOR FREE, but if i have any idea of what's on the Business Plan, soon everybody will be shelling out dollars-a-month for another ThemTube. Enough is enough. I can't wait for the time when Anime isn't just another fad to be milked dry, like Heelies or Bedazzled jean jackets, when it has standing in society, not saying it doesn't already, just when -all- kiddies are watching Detective Conan at 3 in the afternoon and Telstra and Dish have a channel for Simulcast subbs and dubbs. Oh, and when Borders has more than one store in the entirety of Western Australia.

I've gotten a bit off track, haven't I? Anyways, I have decided to move on from my ranting about the "Rolled Crunchy"-- No, I think I'll rant some more. Stuff regions. Just because Shinji lives in eternal fear of Drop Bears, I'm not allowed to watch Natsume Yujincho? Stuff Crunchyroll... (Later:) Oh my Gawd, I need Gintama and Skip Beat! Why did I decide to write everything in italics? I honestly can't remember.

Because the universe is not complete without a favorite pairing list, I now present one to thee, dear reader:

Ichiruki - Bleach
Royai - FMA
YokoKamina - TTGL
MinoriTakasu - Toradora!
SteinMedusa - Soul Eater
LelouchKallen - Code Geass
Allena - DGM
NevilleLuna - HP
Himamori - Eyeshield 21
MineKiyora - Nodame Cantabile
HitsuKarin - Bleach

And, because If you were too lazy to read my Creation rant above, my favorite Anime and/or Manga (or at least ones I've seen and liked, oh, and probably lurk in):

Gurren Lagann (ie. Simon .:snipes Nia down and laughs evilly in triumph:.)
Code Geass
Death Note
Toradora!
Soul Eater
Bleach
Eyeshield 21
D.Gray-Man
Fullmetal Alchemist (2 and Manga)
Sket Dance
Shakugan no Shana
Yankee-kun to Megane-chan
Alive: The Final Evolution
Nodame Cantabile
Mougami Tantei Nougami Neuro
BECK
Kuroshitsuji
Pandora Hearts
Cowboy Bebop
Wolf's Rain

Yes, there are a few there :S Finally, lists of my favorite musicians, games, and books.

Musicians:
Panic! at the Disco
The Sneaky Weasel Gang
Johannes Leubbers
UVERworld

Linkin Park
Aqua Timez
Ikimono-gakari
Eminem
Crystal Kay
ASIAN KUNG-FU GENERATION (CAPSLOCK-- oops, I mean CapsLock is genius)
YUI
Eskimo Joe

Among others...

Books:
Anything Riftwar
His Dark Materials
Destroying Avalon
Discworld
Anything Stephen King
The first half of the Harry Potter series... and Neville
Maximum Ride
Artemis Fowl
Night Angels Trilogy

Games:
LittleBigPlanet
Dungeons and Dragons (dice and paper)
TWEWY
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Super Smash Brothers
Final Fantasy III, IV, and XII for (gasp) DS! Well, X is not too bad...

This is ADDVengance, Vengance, Ven, Kiyone, Skylar, L, George, Godzilla, or Fetherwinkle Berrysamson signing off.'K thx Bye.

Burn Twillight!!

A note to any lawyers reading this: Any above copyrighted content I plead is not mine and I do not wish to offend the owners of said materials. See the First Amendment of the United States Constitution, or if I happen to be in Australia whilst committing such acts of crime, well, Australia doesn't have a Bill of Rights or the like, so I can just catch a train to the US embassy, renounce my second passport, sign up for the draft (Wait, what?), and deport myself.