Hi. I'm obvious things are obvious formerly troublesomegurl uchiha.

Name: just call me Paula

Birthday: January 14

Gender: Female

Country: Philippines

ALL ABOUT ME:

I am a lazy procrastinator who likes to curse (a lot) and skip from fandom to fandom (which is right now, Hetalia, and I've been in this fandom for a year now so I guess I'm staying here for a long while). I also turned into a yaoi fan but I still do appreciate het fics. I now have a new dream which is to travel around the world especially all the Hetalia countries. And then I'm gonna buy myself a house in Poland, own a pony ranch there and stay there forever. Yes, I know it's weird. I am currently learning French which is a freaking pain in the ass. I also lost all faith on the Naruto fandom and the SasuSaku pairing and have decided to discontinue my fics. I'm really, really sorry about that. Currently, my obsession for Hetalia is helping me in my studies since I am a European Studies major, which sounds like a really awesome course but I have yet to see how I can acquire a stable job with it in the near future. I haven't written any fanfiction in a while as I find myself enjoying reading them more. That and I tend to be distracted with things easily so I doubt that I'd be able to finish any multichapter fic. I might try some one-shots though and I have finished one but I'll have to see where it goes from there. So there. That's all there is to know about me.

The Axis
North Italy (Feliciano Vargas)
You were bullied a lot in your childhood (X) You adore pasta, pizza, cheese, and fruit (X) You're very happy-go-lucky ( ) You constantly have a dozy look on your face as if you're always away with the fairies ( ) You have a long curly strand of hair that always tends to stick up () You're a good artist ( ) You can be clumsy at times (X) You have a friend you always depend upon if you mess up something (X) If your life was in danger, you would do the typical Italian thing and say: "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I HAVE RELATIVES IN YOUR COUNTRY!" (X) You would surrender in a war situation ()
(5/10)

Germany (Ludwig)
You're very stoic and serious ( ) Sausages are your favorite foods ( ) You like to walk dogs/your dog ( ) Your boss/principal/tutor/home-room teacher is a nut-case (x) You love rules and think they should always be followed to a T () You think the world would be better if everyone played by the rules () You work very hard () Your alone time is your 'happy time' (X) You can appear tough but be very considerate towards people ( ) You've had issues with money once or twice (X)
(3/10)

Japan (Kiku Honda)
You're very mature ( ) You think everything over before saying it ( ) You believe in ghosts but aren't phased by the experience when you see one (x) You isolated yourself during childhood () You became very successful in a short amount of time ( ) You are somewhat inexperienced when it comes to the outside world (X) You can seem cold/aloof to other people (x) You're good at practical tasks ( ) You need time to adjust to new people (X)
(4/10)

The Allies
The United States of America (Alfred F. Jones)
You love hamburgers ( ) You think you're awesome (X) You love to invent things () You love going to the cinema/watching films/making films (X) You can seem to be very brash to other people ( ) You have a tendency to stick your nose into other peoples' business ( ) You're terrified of ghosts () You know aliens exist (X) You tend to wear a bomber jacket all the time ( ) You wear glasses ( )
(3/10)

The United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland (Arthur Kirkland)
You like tea (X) You were quite tough as a kid ( ) You're very sarcastic and cynical (X) Your cooking is awful (x) You love spiritual magical stuff, such as fairies, ghosts... (X) ...But you refuse to believe in aliens ( ) You have tried doing black magic before ( ) You get drunk quite easily ( ) When you are drunk, you tend to be very unhappy ( ) You're good at embroidery ( )
(4/10)

France (Francis Bonnefoy)
You're very affectionate (X) You think you have a great fashion sense () You like wine ( ) You're the master of whispering romantic things into peoples' ears ( ) You love red roses () When it comes to l'amour, you don't mind men or women ( ) You're very proud of yourself (x) You love culture and the arts (X) You're very flamboyant ( ) You say you're a gourmet ( )
(3/10)

Russia (Ivan Braginski)
You had a very sad childhood ( ) You're very tall ( ) You have a tendency to switch between personalities (x) You wear a scarf all the time ( ) You love sunflowers () You love vodka () You can seem intimidating to other people ( ) You're very strong ( ) You have a big nose ( ) You have a strange laugh that can scare people (X)
(2/10)

China (Wang Yao)
You're very mature () You're very superstitious (X) You're very religious ( ) You love pandas (X) You love cooking so much that you nag if food has a certain pattern of tastes ( ) You love Hello Kitty ( ) You try to be a role-model for your brothers/sisters/whatever, but are never taken seriously ( ) You work hard (X) You're good at drawing ( ) You like sweets (x)
(4/10)

And now for some other countries!
Austria (Roderich Edelstein)
You are very well-raised () You're polite (x) You love classical music (X) You like cake (X) You have a mole on your face ( ) You dedicate your time to your hobbies rather than what needs to be done right away (X) You are a virtuoso/play very well on at least one instrument ( ) You've composed music before ( ) You tend to call people 'morons' ( ) You wear glasses ( )
(4/10)

Canada (Matthew Williams)
You're often ignored by people (X) You look younger than you actually are (x) You love hockey ( ) You love polar bears (X) You hate fighting () You have one strand of curly hair, like Italy () You often get mistaken for someone else (X) You feel under-appreciated (X) You're bilingual (x) You always carry a bear with you ( )
(6/10)

Cuba
You smoke ( ) You're very physically strong ( ) You've won a lot of fist-fights ( ) In your social circle, there are two brothers - you get along with one, but not with the other ( ) You have very strong emotions about a variety of topics (X) You like hot weather (x) You can be very friendly from time to time (X) You look very tough on the outside ( ) You make a very nice role-model () You don't let people get a word in edgeways ()
(3/10)

Hungary (Elizaveta Hédeváry)
You have a potty-mouth (X) You like to wear flowers in your hair () You used to be a very tough kid ( ) You're very reliable (x) It's better to have you as a friend rather than an enemy (X) You're very faithful (X) Your speech and mannerisms can be considered very unladylike (X) You and your best friend go together like chalk and cheese (x) You are graceful one moment and grinning like a maniac the next ( ) If someone yells that yaoi is going on somewhere, you will drop everything to run off to go and see it (X)
(7/10)

Lithuania (Toris Lorinaitis)
You're very loyal (x) You feel like your best friend drags you around a lot, but you both have a great time together (x) You're very serious ( ) You have a lot of patience ( ) You think too much about philosophical stuff (X) You get depressed when questioning the point of existing/the universe, etc... (x) You're not very confident (X) You were quite rebellious as a child (X) People tend to walk all over you () You're a born worrier ()
(6/10)

Poland (Feliks Lucasiewocz)
You're very flamboyant ( ) You're quite hyperactive ( ) You can be quite goofy (X) When you're depressed, you tend to rise out of it like a phoenix (x) You're very wary of strangers (X) It takes you ages to come out of your shell (X) However, when you're used to someone, you're very chatty (X) You're very forceful and stand at one end of the argument when it comes to your opinions (X) You love pansies and corn-poppies (X) You get up to lots of crazy antics (X)
(8/10)

Prussia (Gilbert Weillschmidt)
You're quite mean-spirited ( ) You're a bit of a hooligan ( ) You're very loyal (X) You're very good at tactics (x) You hate Russia (x) You love to fight people ( ) You can avoid marriages quite well ( ) You're not always taken seriously (X) You like drinking (X) You want to become stronger (X)
(6/10)

Spain (Antonio Fernandez Carriedo)
You are clueless about things around you (X) You favor the taste of fresh tomatoes (X) You're very responsible ( ) You tend to dramatize over things a lot (X) You love churros (X) You help people in crisis (X)
You are quite random (X) Somehow, you like bananas (x) You often offer food to people ( ) You have a sort of unhealthy obsession over a couple of brothers (x)
(8/10)

South Italy (Lovino Vargas)
You tend to overreact a lot (X) You like to order people around () You're a scaredy-cat (X) You curse a lot (X) You go drama depressed when people ignore you (x) You tend to blush easily (X) You are lazy like hell (X) You love tomatoes a lot (X) You fix yourself on stupid matters (X) You get defensive at the slightest comment (X )
(9/10)

9/10 for Romano. I am not as red as a tomato, dammit! TROLOLOL~

Name twelve of your favorite Axis Powers Hetalia characters in any order.

1. Romano

2. Poland

3. Prussia

4. Canada

5. Japan

6. England

7. Spain

8. Austria

9. Germany

10. Italy

11. Hungary

12. Lithuania

1) Have you read a five/ten fic fic?

Italy/Japan? Not yet. I haven't really seen any fic with the two of them here or even in the kink meme. Or does a tentacle fic count? TROLOLOL~

2) Do you think three is hot? How hot?

Prussia?

Oh he's hot alright. AWESOMELY HOT. Kesesesese~

3) Do you recall any good fics about nine?

Germany

Yes, especially that one where he was a whore, I think? And the Italy was a priest and yeah... It was awesome. But still not yet finished. OTL

4) Would seven and two make a good couple?

Spain/Poland

I have no idea. I think not really, but then again I've seen Canada/Poland and the fic being awesome so who knows?

5) Four/Eight or Four/Nine?

Canada/Austria or Canada/Germany?

Maybe Canada/Germany? But then, this would be wangsty and probably be a WW2 fic. Because Canada kicked some serious ass back then.

6) What would happen if Seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

Spain discovering Prussia and Austria in a secret relationship.

I think Spain would be like "Prussia! I never thought you were fucking Austria!! Fusosososo~" then he'd go back to bugging Romano again. LOL.

7) Make a summarry of atleast twenty words for a two six fic.

"They're bloody horses!" "No they're ponies! See?" England wanted to ask himself again why he even wanted to have an alliance with Poland.

Fail is fail. OTL

8) Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

Canada/Italy?

Maybe? But then again if there is, I haven't seen it yet.

9) Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Romano/Japan

There's Nothing Wrong with Being a Tsundere It's a fail. I know. OTL

10) What kind of plot would you use for a three/eleven fic?

Prussia/Hungary

TEH AWESOMENESS COUPLE. \o/ I'd like it to be an AU kinda adventure plot for them. That or a high school humor fic.

11) Does anyone on your friends list read number seven het? What about nine slash?

Spain het yes, but with Firi-tan. Yeah, my friend's a little on the patriotic side. LOL.

12) If you wrote a song!fic about nine, what song would you choose?

Germany?

Hmmm. Probably 'In the End' by Linkin Park especially during the World War times.

13) if you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?

England/Poland/Prussia

WARNING: Smut, alcohol, swearing, ponies and the color pink LOL

14) What pick up line might eight use on five?

I can't really imagine somebody as prissy as Austria doing this but what the heck. "You know, I have really good hands." OHOHOHOHO~

15) Challenge: Write a drabble fic for ten/eight.

Austria sighed once again. Italy was certainly starting to grate on his nerves on his rant about Germany and pasta again.

"Italy, is there any particular reason why you had to interrupt me while I'm playing?" he can't help but asked irritably.

"Ve? Oh yeah! Austria-niichan! I wanted to ask you if you still had my stuff from before? Ve~!" Italy asked.

Austria can't help but sigh nostalgically for a bit. It really had been a long time ago since Italy had been under his care. He knew that this day would come but he couldn't shake the sad feeling away. It had been a while since his house had been visited by anybody aside from Hungary and Prussia.

"Wait here. I'll just get it from the attic," he said before disappearing from the music room.

As he had gotten Italy's things from before and given it to him he can't help but wish that they would go back to that time when he had a family with him. As twisted as it was, it was still a family.

"Italy, do come by more often, would you? You can also bring Germany here," he said to Italy as Italy bid him goodbye. He couldn't help but sigh once again as he began playing another song. Just a tad bit more melancholic than the one that he was playing before.

-- Because Austria is Team Dad. :D

16) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Spain would be confused as to how he got himself to Eastern Europe on his way to Romano. Lithuania would probably stutter some apology and get as far away from Poland as possible while Poland would say something like, "You do know that you are like, totally interrupting us right?" LOL

17) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?

Oh, I've seen this really good Romano/Canada fic but then it was Romano topping so it's a bit different. But then again, I could take it the way the author of that fic did. Or I could do an AU where they'd be friends first and Romano's one of the only ones able to remember Canada and it would probably be a multichapter fic if ever I do end up doing it.

18) Does anyone on your friends list read seven slash?

I don't think so. They're kinda scared of yaoi as it is. -_-

19) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?

Not really but my best friend is a major PrussiaxHungary fan. :D

20) Does anyone on your friends list draw eleven?

Not yet, maybe I'll ask my best friend to draw a Hungary for me. But then again, I want a Spain first.

21) Would you write Two/Four/Five?

Poland/Canada/Japan?

I could write a Poland/Canada with Japan getting off on their pairing but that's about it.

22) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

It's either "PASTAAAAA~!", "DOITSU~!" or "Please don't hurt me, I have relatives in *insert place*!!" Yeah...

23) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Oh that Giripan fic in the kink meme where I think Greece is some sort of mythological creature or whatever. What it's called escapes me right now so sorry. :P

24) What is Six’s super-secret kink?

England? Oh, I bet it's roleplay and bondage. Or maybe that's just what I like to see him doing.

25) Would Eleven shag nine? Drunk or sober?

Hungary and Germany? LOL. I'm thinking drunk, otherwise she would force some other male nation to shag Germany like I don't know, Italy or maybe Prussia or maybe even Austria? OHOHOHOHO~

26) If Three and Seven got together, who tops?

Prussia and Spain. Hmmm. Interesting. Maybe Prussia? Just because he won't let his awesome self be bottom and Spain would probably just go with it being his usual self. LOL

27) “One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two.” What title would you give this fic?

Romano and Germany are in a happy relationship (oh shit this is not happening EVER) until Germany suddenly runs off with Canada (who?). Romano, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Hungary (and here I thought she was a fellow yaoi fan) and a brief unhappy affair with Lithuania (what the hell?), then follows the wise advice of Japan (because Japan is old and therefore has much more experience than him *remembers that Giripan strip* OMFG LOL) and finds true love with Poland (who, like, bumped into him while Popo was shopping and he was about to buy some tomatoes).

Tomatoes and Ponies. Just because. LOL

28) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Spain/Austria? Well, if you think about it, it IS canon. You can even prove it historically and stuff (Habsburgs). Well, I don't know. I guess I'm fine with it although I do prefer Spain with Romano (or England OHOHOHO) and Austria with Hungary (or Prussia or Germany kesesese~).

29) What would Twelve and One be like in a relationship?

Lithuania/Romano? LOL. Poor poor Lithuania. That's all I can say. But then again, I think Romano would be a tad bit nicer to him since he really is woobified as it is.

30) Two and Ten: Totally crack or canon?

Poland/Italy. It's canon but only platonic. Because they're like, only friends, you know?

31) Is four het or slash better?

Cana-who? LOL. I prefer slash. Because he does work well with Prussia plus the place New Prussia in Canada just can't be ignored. ;) And there are also lots of lovely Americest and UKCan out there as well as Franada. So there.

32) Have you ever read any fanfiction of Five and Eleven?

Japan/Hungary? Well, there are a lot of fics about them. Only, they are playing matchmaker on other pairs. LOL

33) Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is after Eight and Nine!

Well even if Pirate!England totally pwned the Spanish Armada back then, Conquistador!Spain is still freaking scary and he COULD take on Austria and Germany anytime.

34) If Eight was to cosplay, what would they be?

Austria? I have to say Kyouya Ootori from Ouran. Because the first time that I did see him in Hetalia what came to my mind was "Hey, it's Kyouya! Only he's a lot less scary and he can play the piano!" LOL

35) How many beers would One have to chug to go after Twelve?

I think Romano is the type to get drunk fast (like England, because tsunderes get drunk fast, at least in my head canon LOL) so I think it won't take much before he mistakes Lithuania as Spain. LOL

36) Would Three make a good couple with Six? Or a better couple with two?

Prussia/England or Prussia/Poland? I'm gonna have to say Prussia/England because there are some good ones out there about them and I think they're just epic together in general.

37) Six and Seven have to go n a fishing trip together. Would they end up getting “distracted” halfway through?

England and Spain? By distracted, do you mean Spain trying to drown England in vengeance for his armada? Because I can totally see that happen. And I can also see how England would try to play 'pirate' on Spain. OHOHOHOHO~

38) Pick a Disney film to represent Ten and Two.

Italy/Poland? Maybe 101 Dalmatians? Only this time it's 101 Ponies and with Pasta? LOL (I'm lost, sorry)

39) if Three and Eleven are doing S&M, who’s the sadist?

Prussia and Hungary? I'm gonna say that Hungary is a dominatrix in bed. So there. LOL

40) Pick a song to describe a 7/12 fic.

Spain/Lithuania?

Hmmm. Maybe something like "Now" by MYMP. Just because it's cheerful and I think Spain would be the type to stop Lithuania from worrying about anything and just enjoying the present.

41) is there and evidence of four/twelve?

Canada/Lithuania? Aside from the fact that they are both woobies? I don't think so. And their only connection would be America due to Lithuania's outsourcing back then.

42) How hot would seven/three be?

Spain/Prussia? Well, they are both hot individually so I'm gonna say 7 out of 10.

43)If seven walked in on two and eight perfoming, shall we say, “interesting” activities, wh t would their reaction be?

Spain walking in on Poland and Austria performing "interesting" activities where interesting meant Austria playing the piano and Poland doing a ballet while wearing a pink tutu? (Don't ask. I just don't think that both of them would do that stuff. Or maybe that's just me. Meh.) Austria would probably ask why Spain is interrupting his performance and then Poland would go, "First, you, like, interrupt me and Liet and now you are, like, interrupting me again! Like, I totally did not do anything wrong to you at all."

44) What’s one’s secret kink?

Romano?

That's quite simple. Conquistador!Spain. OHOHOHOHO~

(Hell, I think everybody in the fandom has that for a kink along with Pirate!England. Don't even dare deny it. Kesesesese~)

45) How about twelve?

Lithuania?

I'm gonna say crossdressing males. Oh wait that's POLAND!!! OHOHOHOHO~

That or BDSM. And I am so blaming that on Russia. -_-

46) Or perhaps 10?

Italy? I'm gonna say bondage with Germany. OHOHOHOHO~

47) What title would you assign a one/three/five threesome?

Romano/Prussia/Japan?

You Can't Stop Awesome

48) How about two/four/six?

Poland/Canada/England

Wait, Isn't This Like, Just a Pair (yup, I think Popo would totally forget Canada. LOL)

49) Or even seven/eight/nine?

Spain/Austria/Germany

Lost in German Paradise LOL

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the electronic device to get it to work again

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a freight train headed your way

The only way to make my PC faster is throwing it out the window.

If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?

Sometimes I Wonder, "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" and then it hits me!

In a world full of cheerios, be a fruit loop.

There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate

And then the water parted...and then the fishes died...

There is no such thing as darkness, only absence of light...

Growing old is mandatory...Growing up is optional

I am temporarily distracted by a shiny object.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way; wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

I'm a bomb technician, if you see me running, you better catch up!

I'm an angel honest... the horns are just there to keep the halo straight

Darn! I thought I had hidden the pitch fork, and did anyone notice the tail.

Don't dissect frogs... dissect elephants!

You are too sarcastic for your own good!

I dream of a better tomorrow, where Chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind, but not my brain I need that.

Must press the Red button!

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

What doesn't kill me... Had better start running.

Best friends, it’s who we are . . . instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things then we find out we were both wrong.

Bad stuff happens, mostly to me, so don't worry.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

You can't fix stupid.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

If you are a serial killer,get the heck away from me! If you are a cereal killer, get the heck away from my Cheerios!

Even though he's gone, you can still hear the stupid.

Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.

I did not hit you...I simply high fived your face.

Happiness is just around the corner; too bad the world is round!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

If you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

Experience: That most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn!

I'm bored ... run for your sanity.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I am a grown up. Except, grown ups don't call themselves grown ups, they call themselves adults, so maybe I'm not a grown up yet. But that's okay, you get away with more if you're a kid.

The more I think about, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy.

Of course I'm out of my mind... It's dark and scary in there!

Life is like a corndog. I don't know why. It just is.

On a scale of one to crazy, I'm a penguin!

Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?

Earth is the Insane Asylum for the universe.

I hear voices in my head, but that’s okay. Most of them are pretty nice

I'm probably in the sky flying with the fishes; or maybe in the ocean swimming with the pigeons; see my world is different!

I have to speak my mind because what is in my mind is always more interesting than what is happening in the world outside my mind.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...

they say "guns dont kill people, people kill people.' Well, i think the gun helps, cuz if you just stood ther and yelled BANG I dont think you'd kill too many people.

so, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

yeah, Im a loser. but the coolest loser you'll ever meet

save the earth. it's the only planet with chocolate.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

when Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons?

when Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

when Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over

smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to

i talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept!

therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide

i used to see a shrink... until she said life isnt for everyone

if asteroids are in the hemisphere, and hemroids are on your butt, why are they named the way they are?

i live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there

the dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend

tell the truth and run

if electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

you cry, i cry. you laugh, i laugh. you jump off a cliff, i laugh even harder

everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

i used to be normal... until i met those freaks i call my friends

I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese! And gets to sleep in a few hours!

When in doubt, make up words!

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you!

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it! (My freind lives by this ever since I told her. LOL I call her cool for fun.)

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks!

Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

the statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

My nails can cut through human flesh and make it BLEED! AWESOME!!

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

Welcome to the internet, pants optional.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

Remember: It takes 42 muscles to frown at a person and only 4 to extend your middle finger.