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since: 08-22-07, id: 1358747, Profile Updated: 04-06-09
country: United States
web: Homepage
Author has written 20 stories for Bollywood, Harry Potter, Twilight, Song of the Lioness, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

5/15/08 - Okay, major change to the layout!! The bio's going to be on top, and then I'll put the up-and-coming list, then the YouTube links for the songfics, and then all my faves lists, and then my LJ and my blog, and then my fave quotes, and then the copy-and-paste stuff!

8/22/07 - Hi, everyone who bothers to read this!! FINALLY, I got an account on Fanfiction. I love this place, all my obsessions can be found here!! Even Bollywood!! I suppose since I'm supposed to be telling you about myself, I have to list them, but I'll do that later. Right now, I'll tell you more about myself.

I'm not telling my name, but I'll describe myself. I'm about 5 feet 1 inch tall, and I have black hair (and to those who say there's no such thing, MY hair is black, NOT brown) and dark, dark, dark, brown eyes, almost black. I wear glasses, which I used to hate, but I'm fine with it now.

I was born in Dhaka, the capital of Bangladesh, on September 23rd, 1994. Both my parents are Bengali, but even then, I only lived there for a year, which I don't even remember. The rest of my childhood, until I turned 11, was spent in Singapore. I miss it so much!! I moved away in 2005, to Doha, the capital of Qatar, a small country in the Middle East. It's there that I really got religious. I am a Muslim girl, and I try to be more religious sometimes, but it is a lot of work!! I kind of gave up when we moved away from Qatar after 6 months. My parents, both engineers, got better offers in Silver Srpring, Maryland, U.S.A. It seemed like a dream come true, at first, but then I didn't really like it. Neither did my mum, so my dad got a better job here, in Arcadia, California, after only 6 months there. We're not going to move anymore. I love it here.

I love reading, especially fantasy and historical things like Royal Diaries. I also like watching TV and movies. Which brings me to my obsessions. I'll list them, it's easier, but the order I like them in is always changing.

Favorite Books:
This list is always changing order, so this is just a sort of top fifteen thing...

1) The Harry Potter series, by J. K. Rowling. Yes, okay, I'm a nerd. So sue me. Hey, almost everyone in the world's heard of it, that must mean something!!

2) The Twilight series, by Stephenie Meyer. I'm relatively new to this, but I have read all of the books, they are sooo good!! Just the right amount of romance and danger. Right now, Eclipse is my favorite book. I can't believe I couldn't go to the signing just bacause I didn't buy Eclipse from Vroman's!!

3) All the Tamora Pierce books. They are so good!! Aly is my favorite character right now, but I can never decide if Tortall is better than Emelan or not!!

4) Percy Jackson and the Olympians, by Rick Riordan. So funny!! I love the way the world fits in with today's world!! And Percabeth rocks!!

6) The Animorphs series, by K. A. Applegate. Quite good science fiction, even if I don't like the ending. I want Marco and Rachel together!!

7) The Everworld series, by K. A. Applegate. It's hard to believe the autor also writes children's stories. Slightly adult, but still okayish.

8) The Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler) I have never read even one of these books without having a hysterical outburst of laughter somewhere in the middle. They are funny!!

9) The Chronicles of Narnia, by C. S. Lewis. They are okay, and I really like The Horse and His Boy.

10) Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell. The characters seem so real!! Although I hate the ending, and sometimes detest Scarlett.

11) Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer! I just discovered these books, and they are downright hilarious. But they have a good strong plotline too, which actually makes you think at times. Must read for any fantasy lover!

12) The Clique, by Lisi Harrison. These are surprisingly good!! The characters seem real, because they have so much good and bad all mixed up inside them. I love the characters of Claire, Massie and Alicia the most.

13) Gossip Girl, by Cecily von Ziegesar. Ahh, my guilty secret...They aren't the best books in the world, but they definitely pass time! I like the ending of the last book, though.

14) The Keys to the Kingdon, by Garth Nix. Garth Nix's books are good, but they sometimes delve too deeply into fantasy for me to follow completely. Still, they are quite engrossing, especially Sir Thursday!

15) Uglies, by Scott Westerfeld. All his books are good, from the Uglies trilogy, to Extras, to Midnighters (love these), even to So Yesterday! But, like Garth Nix, he goes in too deep sometimes, and I have trouble following that.

Up-And-Coming Stories:
This is basically where I'm going to record the millions of fics I have buzzing around my head, but have never gotten a chance to set in Microsoft Word...

Bollywood
Blindsight - A Fanaa fanfic. I've been working on this a long, long time, and I'm close to finishing, but not really. A long time ago, for a class assignment, we had to watch a movie and then write about it from the point of one of the characters, and I was trying the same thing with this fanfic. It's from the point of view of Zooni.

Laila Ka Majnu - A Jhoom Barabar Jhoom fanfic. It's about Laila, basically, and her life, and why she lives it. I haven't started it yet, but I know it's kind of dark.

Daughter - A Ta Ra Rum Pum fanfic. I loved the movie, and this is sort of what happens when Subha Shekhar Rai Banerjee's company crashes, and he has to depend on his daughter for help.

Laila Main Laila - An Aaja Nachle fanfic. Imran's wondering about Anokhi, and how she transforms into the girl of his dreams.

Blue-Ji and Pink-Ji - An Kal Ho Naa Ho fanfic. Did you really think Rohit was the only person Aman was training for love? Now he's helping Chadda try some romantic tactics on Lajjo...

Harry Potter
Flowers 3? - I wrote the He Loves You, He Loves You Not story for LJ and RH. I've been wondering if I should put in another chapter about Harry/Ginny. But I have to find a way to put in that bit about flowers first.

Love Like This - A songfic for Harry and Ginny to the song Love Like This, by Natasha Bedingfeld. Haven't planned much yet...

A Mudblood and a Malfoy!? - RosexScorpius. My version of how they get together. Will probably be a chapter story, through all their years through Hogwarts. I'll get around to it in the summer...

The Untold Story of Asteria Greengrass and Draco Malfoy - This is not a oneshot, in fact, this will be quite long, with many chapters. This is how they meet, fall in love, and get married. This is all an idea as yet, it all depends on my workload (don't let anyone tell you middle school is easy) The earliest I can get started will probably be summer - of '09 (I'm 95 percent kidding)

Secrets in the Chamber - So what really happened with Hufflepuff's cup in the Chamber of Secrets?? Ron and Hermione.

Now 'til Forever - Twoshot LilyJames, kind of how Lily's perspective of James changes. It has Ab To Forever and Hey, Shona from Ta Ra Rum Pum in it.

Birthday Wishes - Everybody's forgotten Lily's birthday - except one!

Twilight
Hey, Honey - Edward's got another date planned, but this time, Bella might actually like it! Kind of a sequel to In My Hands...

Alice's Party - Alice will use any excuse to throw a party - even surviving the Volturi!

Animorphs
Out in the Dark - MarcoRachel. It's night time, and Rachel's attacked by someone. Will anybody turn up to save her?

Gone with the Wind
Rhett - I Want Rhett - What if Scarlett had said those words after her fall on the staircase?? Not Scarlett-compliant, or Rhett Butler's People-compliant

Songfics On YouTube:
I do write several songfics, or at least, fanfics with songs in them, so here are the YouTube links for them, in case you want to check it out. I tried to get the subtitled Mere Haath Mein, but for some reason, it's not on there anymore, so I am sorry. Woh Ladki Jo does have subtitles, though. I'll underline and italicize those with subtitles or lyrics.

Woh Ladki Jo from Baadshah (from The Girl Who's Unlike Any Other) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiL0QqT6-H0
Mere Haath Mein from Fanaa (from In My Hands) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB-jHLvxA6s
See You Again from Miley Cyrus (from I Can't Wait To See You Again) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC8N9WywIqY
Ishq Hua from Aaja Nachle (from Love Happened) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNvwl4XO—s
My Dil Goes Mmmm from Salaam Namaste (from My Heart Goes Mmmm) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TplPwLNIKtk
Omigod You Guys, from Legally Blonde: The Musical (from Omigod! You Guys) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StXLcPjCq-E

Favorite Hollywood movies:
I know, it's way too short a list, but I really do prefer Bollywood to Hollywood. What a FOB, I know.

Harry Potter Series - Basically the books in movie form - I like the books better, but the movies aren't bad. My favorite would have to be the third movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Pirates of the Caribbean Series - I fell in love with this all over again recently, and I'm watching all the movies on a daily basis now...no, I do NOT have a problem!...or at least, not a big one. I'm Sparrabeth, all the way! Willabeth is okay, but Elizabeth just doesn't have the same sort of chemistry with the whelp.

Legally Blonde, Legally Blonde 2 - Seriously, who doesn't love Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods?

Spiderman Series - I loved the second movie, but I am probably the only person on this planet who thought Tobey Maguire's emo style looked good :(

Shrek Series - How can you resist the charms of Donkey?

The Sound of Music - My favorite musical as a kid! I watched this every single night! Which is pretty impressive, considering it's 4 hours long...

Cutting Edge Series - I love ice-skating (although I'm not very good), and I love the chemistry between all the couples.

Bring It On Series - I am not a cheerleader, and will never be, but it amuses me to see all the rivalry, and watch all the great routines. I thought Hayden Panettiere was excellent in the third movie, although the fourth movie is currently my favorite.

Rush Hour Series - Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan are a kung-fu-fighting comedy team that's impossible to resist!

Others would include: Series of Unfortunate Events, Bride and Prejudice (is this a Hollywood film?), Bend It Like Beckham, Just Like Heaven, Stick It, Ice Princess, Sydney White, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Stardust, Step Up, The Circuit, Yours, Mine & Ours, Cheaper By The Dozen, Cheaper By The Dozen 2, Juno.

Favorite Bollywood Movies:
Okay, now my favorite Bollywood movies. These are NOT according to preferance, my preferences change too drastically to note down. I wrote some stuff about the plot first (okay, I did copy some stuff from IMDb), then I gave my own input. And I tried putting a link to their respective videos on YouTube. Some are better quality than others, and some don't have subtitles, and some skip around, and some have subtitles that don't really help, but I'm sorry for that. But if any of the movies below seem at all interesting, please click on the link, and give it a try. If it has english subtitles, I'll underline and italicize the name.

1) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - The story's about an eight-year-old girl, Anjali, whose mother, Tina, died shortly after childbirth. But she left eight letters for her daughter, one to be opened every birthday up to her eighth birthday. In the last letter, Tina tells Anjali the story of her father, Rahul, and his best friend, also named Anjali. In the end, Rahul had married Tina, whom he thought was his love. But now, on the brink of death, Tina realizes that he was always truly meant for Anjali. Eight years after her death, her daughter, named after the very same Anjali who was their best friend, has to get her father together with his true love. It was my first movie in a theater, and I was only 4. I still loved it, and Kajol was amazing in it!!And as usual, SRK ruled! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhlUTK7JF9s

2) Main Hoon Na - Major Ram Prasad Sharma yearns to see the ambitious project Mission Milaap become a reality. The mission may prove to be the dawn of a new tomorrow, ending the long-standing enmity between two countries, India and Pakistan. But Raghavan, a former soldier whose family was killed by Pakistanis, does not want this peace to happen, and he will do anything to ensure it does not, including threatening the life of General Amarjeet Bakshi's daughter Sanjana. To protect Sanjana, Ram poses as a student at her school. But Ram also has another agenda. He must fulfill the dying wish of his martyred father Brigadier Shekhar Sharma: to go seek out his stepmother and half-brother and make peace with them. Coincidentically, both Sanjana and his half-brother Lucky study at the same school in Darjeeling, and that is where Major Ram is headed - to pose as a student! The summary seems so dry, but I swear, this is just about the first 10 minutes. I'm trying not to give away too much here. It is an awesome movie, Zayed Khan is hot, and Amrita Rao is great in it!! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-7j6QVie70

3) Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge - Raj is a rich, carefree, happy-go-lucky second generation NRI (Non-Resident Indian - someone who lives in other countries besides India). Simran is the daughter of Chaudhary Baldev Singh, who in spite of being an NRI is very strict about adherence to Indian values. The two meet on a month long Eurotrip, and what began as pranks and fun and games, ends in love. But by the time they realize it, it is already too late, as Simran has left for India to be married to her childhood fiancé. Raj leaves for India with a mission at his hands, to claim his lady love under the noses of her whole family. For some reason, whenever I think of Raj and Simran, I think of Lily and James!! Their chemistry is very much alike!! I didn't like this movie when I was younger, (because my cousin threw up on me when we were watching, and my little mind for some strange reason blamed that on the movie), but I just saw it again, and it was amazing!! Kajol and Sharukh HAVE to be the best pair ever!! YouTube Link (Malay subtitles): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLiirJUzlYs

4) Fanaa - Choices--to choose between right or wrong is simple, but what defines one's life is the decision between the greater of two goods or the lesser of two evils. This is the advice that Zooni Ali Beg receives from her father, just as she is about to venture out into the world on her own for the very first time. Little does she know that these very words will shape her life. Zooni, a blind Kashmiri girl, meets Rehan Qadri, a local tour guide and an incorrigible flirt, who goes from city to city exploring their architecture--and also their women. Her friends warn her against this good-for-nothing roadside Romeo, but she chooses to ignore them. She is not one to be protected. It is now her time discover life, and love. Is this really the right choice? Rehan is fascinated by Zooni. He truly wants her to see life as it should be seen, in its many colors--and as he promises her, the time spent with him will be the most precious in all her life. Zooni sees Delhi, life and love like she never has before, because of Rehan. What Zooni doesn't know is that Rehan has another side of his life that he has kept from her--something that can not only change her life, but can also destroy it. I'm an obsessive Kajol fan, and this movie has exactly the right mix of danger and love for me. It kind of reminds me of Edward and Bella, so this is one I have to recommend for all you Twilight fans! Sorry, nobody on YouTube has this.

5) Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham - Yashvardhan Raichand lives a very wealthy lifestyle along with his wife, Nandini, and two sons, Rahul and Rohan. While Rahul has been adopted, Yash and Nandini treat him as their own. When their sons mature, they start to look for suitable brides for Rahul, and decide to get him married to a young woman named Naina. When Rahul is told about this, he tells them that he loves another woman by the name of Anjali Sharma. Yashvardhan decides to meet with the Sharma family, and finds out that they are middle-classed, unsophisticated, and will not be able to it into his family circle, as a result he refuses to permit Rahul to marry Anjali. A defiant Rahul decides to leave, gets married to Anjali, without his foster parents blessings, and re-locates to London, England, where Anjali's unmarried sister, Pooja, also lives. Rohan, who was studying in a hostel, returns home to find that Rahul is no longer living with them, and he also discovers that everyone in his family misses him. Rohan also misses Rahul a lot, and decides to travel to London in order to try and get Rahul to return home. Yashvardhan, is unable to prevent this, and as a result Rohan does travel to London, meets with Rahul, Anjali, and Pooja. But will the hurt and sorrow that Rahul experienced with his foster parents be erased, and the family unite, or will Rahul forget about the past, and continue to live his life without getting back to his roots and the family who brought him up? Kajol's in this movie again, but when I was younger, I kind of liked Kareena in it, especially the song Bole Churiyan! One of the sweetest family movies ever, with plenty of references to my favorite movie ever!! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR3udH_c62c

6) Om Shanti Om - In 1977, there existed a love story that could never be fulfilled - between Shantipriya, a beautiful Bollywood actress, and Om Prakash Makhija, a lowly Junior Artist. In 2007, it was fulfilled - with Om Kapoor, a spoiled rich Bollywood star, and Sandy, an adoring fangirl. A beautiful, touching love story, set against the backdrop of Bollywood's Golden Age. I just saw this, and I am in love with it! Deepika, the beautiful, amazing Shantipriya, definitely has a future in Bollywood! Sorry, nobody on YouTube has this.

7) Jab We Met - Aditya Kashyap should be living an idyllic life - he was the son of a billionaire tycoon. However, depressed by his father's death, he runs away from responsibility, and jumps on a train - any train. It is aboard this train that he meets Geet Dhillon, a Punjabi chatterbox who will not stop talking. As fate keeps throwing them together on an impromptu journey, sparks of love begin to fly - but what will Geet's family say? A really sweet movie! Kareena and Shahid's best performance ever!! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcJUemBfui0

8) Mohabbatein - Gurukul is one of India's top colleges, headed by Narayan Shankar. He is a man of staunch principles who does not like any changes in the way the college is run. He also opines that love brings only pain with it, so romance is strictly forbidden within the walls of Gurukul. Enter Raj Aryan, the music teacher who not only believes in love, but also induces three of his students to follow their heart and fall in love. Vicky loves Ishika from girls' college nearby but Ishika hates him . Then there is Sameer, who loves his childhood friend Sanjana, but she has a boyfriend already. Lastly, there is Karan, who loves Kiran, but their love is forbidden, since Kiran is already married to a soldier who is reported missing and believed to be dead. When Narayan Shankar comes to know of Raj's activities he decides to fire Raj . But then Raj reveals his real identity, his past connection with Narayan Shankar, and that the real reason behind his arrival to the college is to change the old-fashioned way it is run. This confrontation draws the battlelines between the two strong-willed men. Who wins in the end - Raj or Narayan? It's a good movie (for some reason, I rather like Uday Chopra), but you cannot watch it at night - you will fall asleep in the four hour movie!! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmOITjRjH7E

9) Koi...Mil Gaya - A scientist, Sanjay Mehra, devises a computer which is capable of contacting the aliens. Although he rejoiced at first, his happiness was cut short when the scientists at a space research center scoff at him and refuse to believe his claims. While returning home with his pregnant wife he glimpses an alien spaceship and in the resulting confusion he cannot control his car, leading to a crashthat ends his life. His wife survives but their child's brain is damaged. Years later, their son, Rohit Mehra, has grown up, but has the mentality and brain of a child. He befriends the town Mayor's daughter Nisha, a sweet girl who at first thought of Rohit's childishness as rudeness and vulgarity. One day, Rohit and Nisha find Rohit's father's computer in the shed and follow the instructions provided. That very evening their town is paid a visit by an alien spaceship, which lands in the nearby forest, but leaves soon after. But when the police inspect the footprints, they discover that one of the aliens have been left behind. Then Rohit and Nisha find the alien, name him Jadoo - and watch as their lives slide into virtual chaos. It was the first good hit Hrithik Roshan had after Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai. But that was some serious acting - I cried when the guys broke his scooter! And I don't cry easily! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bMK8_YGnPU

10) Kal Ho Naa Ho - Naina Kapur is one of those people who will always have a bee in their bonnet - think your algebra teacher who was always yelling about the smallest problems. But at least Naina, whose father committed suicide when she was a little girl, has a reason. Her mother and grandmother are always bickering and fighting, and her home feels torn apart. But then comes Aman, a new neighbor, obnoxious and thick-skinned, who can't take a hint, but somehow, it is he who finally manages to make Naina lighten up. So how is it fair that the one person who makes the lives of others worth living, is the one who is destinied for an early death? It's obvious I'm not doing this list in order of which I most like, because if I was, this would be the fourth. It has the perfect blend of romance, humor, tragedy, comedy, love, hate, tears and laughs! Unfortunately, the only version I found has one or two minutes missing, but the main story's there. YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKrUtyzu96I

11) Salaam Namaste - Ambar and Nick's love story doesn't start out promisingly - she's the girl studying to become a doctor, with a job as an RJ to support her studies, and he's the chef with an architect's degree who was late to her show. However, when a chance meeting makes them fall in love at first sight, they decide to try living together, to see whether first impressions were correct. Things go smoothly for a while, but then, the storm comes - and it's a big one! It's a funny movie, and handles a delicate topic very well!

12) Ta Ra Rum Pum - Rajveer Singh works as a pit stop crew worker at the New York speedway and dreams of becoming a race car driver himself one day. Fate has a pleasant surprise in store for him when he is selected as the driver for a down-and-out team called Racing Saddles. On the same day, he meets and falls in love with a girl named Radhika, and she marries him against her wealthy father's wish. Over the years, they are blessed with two adorable children, Princess and Champ, and Rajveer "R.V." becomes the highest ranking race car driver in the US. But a racing accident puts him out of the racing circuit for a year and when he returns, he discovers that he has lost his touch. He is fired from the team and the family is forced to relocate from their posh mansion to a poorer suburb. But is that the end of RV's dreams? Such a sweet movie!! I cannot understand why it's a flop!! And I love Ab To Forever - such an upbeat, catchy tune! YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6DIj29b2v8

13) Hum Tum - Karan Kapoor and Rhea Prakash meet for the first time in a flight bound from Delhi to New York . They just cannot stand each other: Rhea is disgusted by Karan's flirtatious mannerisms and Karan is frustrated by Rhea's overt seriousness . They have a massive fallout and part ways, vowing never to see each other's face again . Destiny brings them together again at Rhea's marriage ceremony three years later and the Mars vs. Venus war continues . Rhea gets married and leaves for USA . Four years later , Karan has become a successful cartoonist and travels to Paris to visit his father. Co-incidentally he meets Rhea again and learns that her husband is no more . Karan tries earnestly to bring happiness back in Rhea's life by promising her mother that he will find a suitable groom for Rhea but the duo never realizes that they are drawing closer to each other. Will love happen? And if it does, will the star-struck couple ever admit to it? (It's Saif and Rani, in one movie. Need I say more?) YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEtdvU9khWg

14) Chak De! India - India's Women's Hockey team has been underrepresented for years. But now comes a man whose going to turn things around. Kabir Khan, former player of India's Mens' Hockey team, has come to be the coach of the undisciplined team. However, the team itself has objections to their coach's strict disciplinary regime. Somehow, they make it through multiple mutinies, and come together as a team. But how will they fare in the World Cup? (They looked like they really were playing hockey, and I love all of them!! Except Bindiya. Well, I just don't like the character.) YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuQ4dMELHCA

15) Aaja Nachle - When she was a young girl, Dia foolishly eloped with an American photographer, leaving her home village in an uproar. Many years later, when she is a divorced dance instructor living in New York with her daughter, she receives news that her old dance teacher is on his deathbed. He dies before she can reach him, but his last wish is conveyed clearly to her - save Ajantha Theatre, the performance centre where Dia herself had learned dance, from being torn down by politicians trying to build a mall. But before Dia can do anything about the theatre, she must somehow reconcile with those very people she cast away all those years ago. (Madhuri looks great, even after half a decade!) Sorry, nobody on YouTube has this

16) U, Me Aur Hum - Ajay is on a cruise with his friends Nikhil and Reena, unhappily married, and Vicky and Natasha, happily unmarried. Ajay is having a wonderful time dealing with martial strife, lots of bad language and huge hangovers, when he finds Pia, and time stands still. After a disastrous first meeting, Ajay tries everything to woo her. He wants her, by hook, crook or even her little private notebook. She's not an easy catch at all, but finally, by sheer perseverance, he dances his way into her heart. Ajay and Pia develop a strong and special bond. In each other, they find an anchor. But the tide goes against them. Weighted down by lies and deceit, their boat is rocked, and their relationship drowns. But even oceans cannot keep true love apart. Against better sense, Ajay waits for Pia. In Pia's case, better case prevails, and she comes back to him. With no doubt in their minds about the way they feel for each other, they rush into marriage, despite the advice and failing relationships of their friends. Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. And Ajay Pia, love each other dearly, and their marriage flourishes, setting an example for their friends. But no marriages can be complete without problems, and Ajay and Pia have also have to face hurdles, some of which seem insurmountable. We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and write, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage, especially in the face of crises? But even as things get much worse, and sometimes unsolvable, Ajay and Pia don't give up. They realize that marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner. And Ajay and Pia are used to dancing together. So they battle all odds, and dance, and sometimes they fall. But every time they fall, they fall in love. And that's what a successful marriage requires. Falling in love many times, always with the same person. This is the special love story of Ajay and Pia. (I can't believe I found this on YouTube!! Amazing movie! Kajol's finest performance since Fanaa) Sorry, nobody on YouTube has this.

19) Munnabhai M.B.B.S. - Murli Prasad Sharma a.k.a Munna, is the big-time local thug and has almost everyone working for him. However, Munna has got his parents believing that he is a doctor, and whenever they visit, he has his home turned into a hospital, and his mates acting as patients and doctors. But when Munna's father visits this time, he wants Munna to marry a childhood friend, who is now a female doctor - Chinki. But Chinki's father is aware that Munna is not a doctor and is a goon, so he bust Munna in front of his parents. Munna's Father disowns Munna and Munna challenges himself to become a doctor to show his father he is capable of it. Munna attends medical school, which is run by Chinkis father. Munna wants to irritate Chinki's Father. Will Munna ever become a doctor and marry Chinki? Will Munna father ever own him again? Can the local Thug become anything more than a local thug.(I know it's old, but I just rewatched it, and it is absolutely fabulous! I had forgotten how funny Circuit was) Sorry, no one on YouTube has this

There are thousands more I like, but I'm too tired to list them as well.

Other Bollywood Movies on YouTube:
Bluffmaster: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU1Wn9r5UyU
Johnny Gaddar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bi7ZrAOfNw
Janasheen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U3Wy5MJDlo
Race: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUDOrHOFnKk
Jurm (Sorry, no subtitles): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbVERape8yk
Kya Yehi Pyaar Hai (Sorry, no subtitles): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNtoU2fR7D0
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvDzRUxJ1Mg
Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPL04bbmMWk
Jaan-E-Mann: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_a00RSgUsc
Neal N' Nikki: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cail5TNa_Fc
Aap Ki Khatir: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwJTevs--JM
Kuch Naa Kaho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbPmVobOIoI

Favorite Songs:
I'm only adding links to some of the better songs...there will probably be more songs in the album itself. But I don't know whether they'll have subtitles or not. When I have more time, I'll underline those with subtitles! They might not be too good, though. Sorry.

Albums (Hindi):
Tashan (2008) - I haven't watched the movie, but the songs seem nice! Especially Dil Haara and Chhaliya
Dil Haara: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOMYmLbLU7U
Chhaliya (Nasheela Nasheela): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0ba-lKB4SQ
Falak Tak Chal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VpEgjorbIo

Krazzy 4 (2008) - The songs are pretty good...
Dekhta Hai Tu Kya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7RY-r2YWwE
Break Free: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlKkZQTgEt4
Krazzy 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4ui1EW6O2A

Jab We Met (2007) - Another great album. My favorites are Yeh Ishq Hai, and Mauja Hi Mauja!
Mauja Hi Mauja: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc0QyqdNtp0
Yeh Ishq Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTHKCz_HoS8
Nagada Nagada: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md0DCpxq88A
Aao Milo Chale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptLQmcYBxng
Tum Se Hi: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umZRHxsOnd4
Aaoge Jab Tum: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmVMD-fZPPU

Om Shanti Om (2007) - Every single song is fantastic!! A must-hear for everyone!
Deewangi Deewangi (Sorry, the one with good subtitles had horrible picture quality): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OQywch6qPI
Dard-E-Disco: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI1ZRJI2qiA
Dastaan-E Om Shanti Om: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Enc-05cj5wY
Dhoom Tana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y977I-vkv2k
Main Agar Kahoon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8MXWzLhwjM
Ajab Si: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az2rxfzAVSM
Jag Soona Soona Lage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIxkG5ngDdU

Saawariya (2007) - Chabeela is the only song I actually like.
Chabeela: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2Rqm84gDSo

Aaja Nachle (2007) - 3 of the songs here are excellent! I recommend watching the videos too! Madhuri dancing, you know...
Aaja Nachle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_TVBaq81GE
Ishq Hua: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZERsoA9Bj0
O Re Piya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0NtdGoYOzo

Ta Ra Rum Pum (2007) - Ab To Forever has the best beat ever! Such a catchy tune! The others are pretty decent too.
Ab To Forever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ihvkY7hWNo
Nachle Ve: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kpK5aofk58
Hey Shona: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvIgHmyuy-8
Ta Ra Ra Ra Rum: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRrlU7ylxuk

Dhoom 2 (2006) - Crazy Kiya Re has really made me gone crazy! Slightly provocative, but if you just look at some of the lyrics, you can see how deep it can go.
Crazy Kiya Re: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhM39W23pN4
Dil Laga Na: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8O_hzCVYd4
Dhoom Again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhI_wS8prps

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna (2006) - Mitwa is fantastic! I also like Where's the Party Tonight, Rock'n Roll Soniye , and Tumhi Dekho Na.
Mitwa: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNegMJ6xSSQ
Where's the Party Tonight: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NALGsb9L5Vc
Rock'n Roll Soniye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2HbSxNXwxI
Tumhi Dekho Na: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVHjPGywnx4

Fanaa (2006) - Some of the most touching songs ever!
Chand Sifarish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv8YSKrsR88
Mere Haath Mein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LokOfuH6f0o
Des Rangila: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR9vBwq2Vo8
Chanda Chamke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuMH1L9dxvo

Salaam Namaste (2005) - This album has some excellent songs! I love the meaning behing My Dil Goes Mmmm...
My Dil Goes Mmmm: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4u9ydid26A
Salaam Namaste: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot7ePmDCmdM
Tu Jahaan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4_PVP-fH3I
What's Going On? (Paune Baara Baje): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RVZ1ZhlbiI

Bunty Aur Babli (2005) - I don't really like Kajra Re, but Nach Baliye is such an addictive song!!
Nach Baliye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPFCBMbXRCw
Chup Chup Ke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyvPtTKzMLo

Dhoom (2004) - I just like Sunidhi Chauhan's Dhoom Machale - it's catchy!
Dhoom Machale: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKKnOPuQ1FQ

Main Hoon Na (2004) - It's a great album!! I love all the songs!
Tumse Milke Dilka: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuxP7j_yahY
Chale Jaise Hawayein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNKws65LwMY
Main Hoon Na: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oQ0ADALiGQ
Gori Gori: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADrO67XkT7g
Ye Fizaen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1nDaMMR4ds
Tumhe Jo Maine Dekha: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3Hz_9E6l3A
Main Hoon Na - Sad Version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0p1YTmA5wI

Samay (2004) - If you haven't heard Laila Laila from this, I strongly recommend it!! Another one of those songs that just get stuck in your head forever.
Laila Laila: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbdb0DlCBUY

Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003) - This has some of the best songs ever! Listen, and you'll be hooked on them.
It's the Time to Disco: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnOlC38Irjs
Maahi Ve: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiefAwsbWzc
Pretty Woman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Hdjp1lEeWU
Kal Ho Naa Ho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2NE5sLVe2Y
Kuch To Hua Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpXmi-R_e9c

Meri Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai (2002) - I just love Sharara!! I haven't really heard the others, though...
Sharara: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQKUZIxlmRo

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham (2001) - Absolutely every song is my favorite, especially Bole Churiyan - I was addicted to it when I was younger!
Bole Churiyan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBL-dCpIatw
You Are My Soniya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGM9qPypNn0
Suraj Hua Maddham: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN996yGKaLk
Yeh Ladka Hai Allah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zRiN_0sxUs
Say Shava Shava: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3WwBVVAMHY
Deewana Hai Dekho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8ANdIo-Fgs
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSUd1nHFvNE

Mohabbatein (2000) - The songs are pretty good
Soni Soni: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXJlkbj1xB0
Ankhein Khuli: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LuxNdSGUMo
Pairon Mein Bandhan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Op79d2ro3M
Zinda Rehte Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGyImkqXLzE
Humko Humi Se: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfMXIth6Lgs
Chalte Chalte: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHEWjYW3Uyo

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) - I love all the songs, except maybe Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aaye
Ladki Badi Anjani: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1rziX8BekQ
Yeh Ladka Hai Deewana: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXcfOvcSAnk
Koi Mil Gaya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAaSRI9KqkE
Sajanji Ghar Aaye: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuqKC1AywLU
Kuch Kuch Hota Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0nR-bX6V5I

Dil To Pagal Hai (1997) - Great songs, but watch the videos too!! Madhuri's dancing is to die for!
Arre Re Arre: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRtbOVouQb0
Koi Ladki Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNTYvD88FKs
Dil To Pagal Hai: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A94qE86aC34
Le Gayi: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbEVTq6B1oo
Bholi Si Surat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSaMtK3k_O0
Pyar Kar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smo7JdLXIVc
Dholna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OyXeu035Bc

Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge (1995) - Ghar Aaja Pardesi annoys me, but besides that, these songs are classic!
Mere Khwabon Mein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5AulGdT6jI
Mehendi Laga Ke Rakhna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnD64uE3diA
Zara Sa Jhoom Lo Main: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03ewZKiOiT4
Na Jaane Mere (Ho Gaya Hai Tujhko): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3uDPdzk0H8
Rukh Ja O Dil Deewane: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjole564z1s
Tujhe Dekha To: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Rs711gUy8Q

Baazigar (1991) - I just like Yeh Kaali Kaali Ankhein from this movie.
Yeh Kaali Kaali Ankhein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gus4MPOF6mA

There's also a new song I heard that I like. It's a mix of Arabic and English, and it's called Didi, by the German-based duo Milk and Honey. It's amazing!! So amazing that I'll link it here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqWYDlVCM8Q

Favorite Bollywood Actors:
Sharukh Khan is in most of my favorite movies, so I suppose he is one. Amitabh is the king, though. Saif Ali Khan is the funniest, though. And Hrithik is HOT!! Abhishek is getting better at acting, even though he was horrible at first. Bachchan Legacy, you know. Must start showing some time! And after 2007, it can safely be said that Akshay is at the top of the Bollywood pyramid!

Favorite Bollywood Actresses:
Kajol!! And her cousin Rani Mukerji. Kajol just has so much personality it kind of spills over into her characters, so they will always have that one gesture or look that they wouldn't have had if another actress had played them. Kajol's just so much fun! My favorite personality-wise. Rani is my second favorite. I love her look in Ta Ra Rum Pum. She's a serious sort of actress, the type that sparkles onscreen, but she's a little too quiet in person. My fave acting-wise. Preity is a good actress too, and whenever I see one of her concerts or performances, she always looks like she's enjoying herself and having so much fun! I love that about her. I think she'd be a fun friend to have. Aishwarya Rai is beautiful as well, and quite a decent actress. You need to act to be Umrao Jaan, and her dancing is wonderful. Priyanka and Lara are tied for 5th place. Priyanka is beautiful, and kind of reminds me of Aphrodite, she can make almost anyone fall in love with her. And Lara is probably Athena, she is the smartest Miss Universe ever! I don't really hate any Bollywood actress, I like all of them. Konkona Sen Sharma is becoming quite famous, and I love her as Laila in Aaja Nachle. I'm not sure about Tanisha Mukerji. She's Kajol's sister, and I still can't work out whether she was good or bad in Neal'N Nikki.

4/8/08 - I also have a LiveJournal account now - http://fanofrandomness.livejournal.com/ The stupid thing wouldn't let me do fangirlofrandomness...sigh.

4/11/08 - I'm going to put up some of my favorite quotes here!!

My Favorite Quotes:
Lots of these! I just can't resist some phrases...my favorite book quotes first, then my Hollywood movie quotes (mainly Pirates quotes), then Bollywood quotes, of which there are far too many...

Quotes from Books:-

From Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer
Edward: Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving.

Bella: You were right
Edward: I usually am - but about what in particular this time?

Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella: What a stupid lamb
Edward: What a sick masochistic lion

Bella: Stupid, shiny Volvo owner

Edward: Afraid of a needle. Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand...

Edward: I hear voices in my mind, and you're worried you're the freak?

From New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer
Bella: Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?

Bella: Even the voice inside my head was making no sense today

Edward: Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

From Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer
Jacob: I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial

Alice: And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche

Edward: I prefer brunettes

Emmett: I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around

Bella: It’s hard to tell what a fish is thinking

Bella: Here’s the thing… I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are

Alice: This hostage stuff is fun

Bella: But…the…you…I…insane!

Jacob: Does my being half-naked bother you?

Rosalie: If we had happy endings, we'd all be under gravestones now.

Bella: I already know how strong you are. You didn’t have to break the furniture

Emmett: Fall down again, Bella?

Edward: Did you run over someone’s cat?

Jacob: None of those freaky Virgos here

Jacob: Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV

Edward: I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object

From The Host, by Stephenie Meyer
Doc (After Jared punches Kyle): Medically speaking, I'm not sure that was the most helpful thing for his condition

Jared: But if you try cuddling up to me tonight... so help me, O'Shea!
Ian: Not to sound overly arrogant, but to be perfectly honest, Jared, were I so inclined, I think I could do better.

Ian O'Shea: You. Are. Not. Leaving. Me.

"...Snow, sapphire, and ink" - Stephenie Meyer

"This man who was kind enough to be a soul, but strong as only a human could be" - Stephenie Meyer

Ian O'Shea: I held you in my hand, Wanderer. And you were so beautiful

Wanda: Jared is my past, another life time. You are my present
Ian: And your future, if you want that.
Wanda: Yes, please

From Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer
Bella: Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?

Bella: Oh, Mike! How will I go on?

Alice: I'll play you for it. Rock, paper, scissors.
Edward: Why don't you just tell me who wins?
Alice: I do. Excellent.

Edward: You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating

Edward: I love you
Bella: That's why we're here

Bella: Why am I covered in feathers?

Rosalie: Over my pile of ashes

Garrett: If we survive this, I'll follow you anywhere, woman
Kate: Now he tells me

From Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
Scarlett O'Hara: "Well, I am fond of you"
Rhett Butler: "Fond of me?"
Scarlett O'Hara: "Well, if I said I was madly in love with you, I'd be lying, and what's more, you'd know it!"

Scarlett O'Hara: "Who has whatted me?"

Quotes from Hollywood movies:-

From Juno (2007)
Juno MacGuff: I'm pregnant.
Paulie Bleeker: What should we do?
Juno MacGuff: Well, I should just... I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy... It can often lead to an infant.

Su-Chin: All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!

Su-Chin: I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Juno MacGuff: Oh well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
Su-Chin: No thanks. I'm off pills.
Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah! I am a Kraken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: I heard that was you.
Juno MacGuff: Well, it was good seeing ya Su-Chin.

Leah (reading): "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." Aw... all that's missing is your bastard!
Juno MacGuff: I want a parakeet.

Juno MacGuff: I could so go for like a huge cookie right now, with like, a lamb kabob simultaneously.

Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.
Paulie Bleeker: Katrina's not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face.

Mac MacGuff: Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!

Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but... I guess normalcy isn't really our style.

From Stardust (2007)
Tristan: (crashes against and fell on top of Yvaine) Mother? Oh! Oh, Mother. I'm so sorry. Are you all right?
Yvaine: No, I'm not and I'm not your mother. So get off me!
Tristan: (stands up) You're not my mother?
Yvaine: Do I look like I'm your mother?
Tristan: No, sorry. Are you all right? Do you want some help?
Yvaine: Help by leaving me alone!
Tristan: All right...
(begins to walk away, talks to himself)
Tristan: Oh my God! "Light the candle and think of me". I was, I was thinking of my mo... but then Victoria and the star just popped...
(to Yvaine)
Tristan: Oh, excuse me, madame, sorry, this may see strange but, have you seen a falling star anywhere?
Yvaine: You're funny.
Tristan: No, really. We're in a crater, this must be where it fell.
Yvaine: (sarcastic) Yeah, this where it fell. It is, or if you want to be really specific, up there
(pointing to the sky)
Yvaine: is where this weird bloody necklace
(shows him the necklace around her neck)
Yvaine: came out of nowhere and knocked it out of the heavens while it was minding it's own business. And over there is where it landed. And right here, here is where it got hit by a magical flying MORON!
Tristan: You're the star? You're the star? Really? Oh, wow! I'm sorry, I had no idea you'd be it. Oh, I, may I just say for advanced that I'm sorry.
Yvaine: Sorry for what?
Tristan: For this.
(takes out a chain and ties it up to Yvaine's hand)
Tristan: Now, if I'm not mistaken this means you have to come with me. You're going to be a birthday gift for Victoria, my true love.
Yvaine: (sarcastic) But of course! Nothing says "romance" like a kidnapped injured woman!

Yvaine: Hmm... Murdered by pirates, a heart torn out and eaten, meet Victoria... Can't quite decide which sounds more fun...

Tristan: (dazed just after returning to human form) Victoria?
Yvaine: I think I preferred 'Mother'.

From Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
Barbossa: I trust you to know your place in front of Captain Sao Feng.
Elizabeth Swann: Is he that terrifying?
Barbossa: He's a lot like meself, but absent me merciful nature and sense of fair play.

Jack Sparrow: MY peanut!

Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness.

Gibbs: Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!

Elizabeth Swann: We've come to rescue you.
Jack Sparrow: Have you not. It's very kind of you. But it would seem that as I possess a ship and you don't you're the ones in need of rescuing and I'm not sure that I'm in the mood.
Barbossa: I see my ship...right there (points at Pearl)
Jack Sparrow: Can't spot it. Must be a tiny little thing, hiding somewhere behind the Pearl.
Will Turner: Jack! Cutler Beckett has the heart of Davy Jones, he controls the Flying Dutchman.
Elizabeth Swann: He's taking over the sea!
Tia Dalma: The song has already been sung! The brethren court is called!
Jack Sparrow: I leave you people alone for just a minute look what happens, everything's gone to pot!
Gibbs: Aye, Jack, the world needs you back something fierce!
Will Turner: And you need a crew!
Jack Sparrow: Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past... one of you succeeded.
(looks at Elizabeth; Will looks at her in shock)
Jack Sparrow: Oh, she's not told you. You'll have loads to talk about while you're here.
Jack Sparrow: (to Tia Dalma) As for you...
Tia Dalma: Now don't tell me you didn't enjoy it… at the time.
Jack Sparrow: Fair enough. You're in.
(begins going down the line of pirates on the beach)
Jack Sparrow: (to Ragetti) Don't need you, you scare me. Gibbs, you can come. Marty, Cotton... Cotton's parrot, I'm a little iffy... At least I'll have someone to talk to.
Jack Sparrow: (to Tai Huang) Who are you?
Tai Huang: Tai Huang. These are my men.
Jack Sparrow: Where does your allegiance lie?
Tai Huang: With the highest bidder.
Jack Sparrow: I have a ship.
Tai Huang: That makes you the highest bidder.

(Barbossa is giving orders and Jack repeats the order)
Barbossa: What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No, what are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'?
Barbossa: No! What are you doin'?
Jack Sparrow: What are you doin'? Captain gives orders on the ship.
Barbossa: The captain of the ship is givin' orders.
Jack Sparrow: My ship, makes me captain.
Barbossa: They be my charts!
Jack Sparrow: Well, that makes you (pause) chartman!
Pintel: Stow it! Both of you! That's an order! Understand?
(Jack and Barbossa stare at him)
Pintel: Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I'd throw my name in for consideration, sorry.
Ragetti: (to Pintel) I'd vote for you.

Will Turner: There's a freshwater spring on this island. We can resupply there, get back to shooting each other later.
Jack Sparrow: You lead the shore party, I'll stay with my ship
Barbossa: I'll not be leaving my ship in your command
Will Turner: Why don't you both go ashore, and leave the ship in my command? (Jack and Barbossa look at him) Temporarily.

(Poking around the carcass of the Kraken lying on the shore)
Pintel: Stupid fish!
Ragetti: Actually, it's a cephalopod.

Barbossa: The world used to be a bigger place.
Jack Sparrow: The world's still the same - there's just less in it.

Jack Sparrow: He needs the Pearl. Captain Turner needs the Pearl,
Jack Sparrow: (to Elizabeth and you felt guilty,
Jack Sparrow: (to Barbossa) and you and your Brethren Court.
Jack Sparrow: Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?
(Everyone looks around. Marty, Pintel, Ragetti, and Jack The Monkey cautiously raise their hands)
Jack Sparrow: I'm standing over there with them.

Jack Sparrow: Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by.

Lord Cutler Beckett: You're mad.
Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't this would probably never work.
(catapults himself onto his ship landing safely on his feet behind his crew)
Jack Sparrow: And that was without even a single drop of rum.

Will Turner: I said to myself, think like Jack.
Jack Sparrow: This is what you've arrived at? Lead Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust, accomplish your own ends? It's like you don't know me at all, mate.
Jack Sparrow: How does your dearly beloved feel about this plan? (Will turns away) Ah...you've not seen fit to trust her with it.
Will Turner: I'm losing her, Jack. Every step I make for my father is a step away from Elizabeth.
Jack Sparrow: Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away, you'll lose it for certain.
Jack Sparrow: If I may lend a machete to your intellectual thicket…avoid the choice altogether!

Jack Sparrow: You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things.
Gibbs: Like?
Jack Sparrow: I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.
Gibbs: What did you call him?
Jack Sparrow: (pause) Larry.

Barbossa: Take this fishwife to the brig!
Ragetti: Right this way, Mrs. Fish!

Barbossa: There's not been a gatherin' like this in our lifetime.
Jack Sparrow: And I owe them all money.

Elizabeth Swann: Sao Feng is dead. He fell to the Flying Dutchman.
Mistress Ching: The plagued ship?
Jack Sparrow: He made you captain? They're giving the bloody title away now!

Captain Jocard: Who is this traitor?
Barbossa: Not likely one among us.
Elizabeth Swann: Where's Will?
Jack Sparrow: Not among us.

Elizabeth Swann: (about the arguing pirates) This is madness!
Jack Sparrow: This is politics.

Captain Chevalle: There has not been a king since the first brethren court, and that is not likely to change!
Captain Teague: Not likely.
Elizabeth Swann: Why not?
Gibbs: Because the pirate king is elected by popular vote...
Barbossa: ...and each pirate only votes for himself
Jack Sparrow: I call for a vote.
(Barbossa rolls his eyes as Captain Teague starts playing the guitar)
Captain Ammand: I vote for Ammand, the Corsair!
Captain Chevalle: Captain Chevalle, the penniless Frenchman!
Mistress Ching: Mistress Ching!
Elizabeth Swann: Elizabeth Swann.
Barbossa: Barbossa.
Captain Jocard: Gentleman Jocard!
Captain Vallenueva: Captain Vallenueva.
(Captain Teague stops playing his guitar)
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth Swann.
(the court begins to yell)
Elizabeth Swann: What?
Jack Sparrow: I know. Curious, isn't it?

Barbossa: (during parlay on sandbar, to Will) You be the cur that led these wolves to our door?
Lord Cutler Beckett: Don't blame Turner, he was merely the tool of your betrayal. If you wish to see its grand architect, look to your left.
(Barbossa, Elizabeth, and finally Jack look left. Jack looks back at Elizabeth)
Jack Sparrow: My hands are clean in this… figuratively.
Will Turner: My actions were my own and to my own purpose. Jack had nothing to do with it.
Jack Sparrow: Well spoke! Listen to the tool!
Elizabeth Swann: I propose an exchange. Will leaves with us. And you can take Jack.
Will Turner: Done.
Jack Sparrow: Undone.
Lord Cutler Beckett: Done.
Barbossa: (to Elizabeth) Jack's one of the nine pirate lords. You have no right.
Elizabeth Swann: King!

Davy Jones: You can do nothing without the key!
Jack Sparrow: I already have the key!
Davy Jones: (shows the key) No, you don't!
Jack Sparrow: Oh, that key

Will Turner: Will you marry me?
Elizabeth Swann: I don't think now's the best time!
Will Turner: Now may be the only time! I love you. I've made my choice. What's yours?
Elizabeth Swann: Barbossa!
(Will looks confused and shocked by her words)
Elizabeth Swann: (to Barbossa) Marry us!
Barbossa: I'm a little busy at the moment!
Will Turner: (while fighting) Barbossa! Now!
Barbossa: Fine, then!
Barbossa: Dearly Beloved, we be gathered here today...
(is set upon by a fish-person, who he kicks in the face)
Barbossa: ... to nail your gizzard to the mast, you poxy cur!
Will Turner: Elizabeth Swann, do you take me to be your husband?
Elizabeth Swann: I do.
Will Turner: Great!
Elizabeth Swann: Will Turner, do you take me to be your wife, in sickness and in health, with health being less likely?
Will Turner: I do
Barbossa: I now pronounce you...(fighting) You may kiss... (fighting) You may kiss... (fighting) JUST KISS!

Gibbs: (Jack and Elizabeth climb back onto the Black Pearl Thank goodness, Jack! The armada's still out there, the Endeavour is coming hard on starboard, and I think its time we embrace that oldest and noblest of pirate traditions.
Jack Sparrow: (looks out towards the Endeavour) Never actually been one for tradition... Close haul her! Luff the sails and lay her in irons!
Barbossa: Belay that, or we'll be a sittin' duck!
Jack Sparrow: Belay that, belay that!
Jack Sparrow: (crew starts arguing with him) Belay! Belay! Stow! No! Stow! Shut it!

Jack Sparrow: You may throw my hat, if you wish.
(Gibbs throws Jack's hat)
Jack Sparrow: Now go and get it.

Elizabeth Swann: Jack, it would never have worked out between us.
Jack Sparrow: Keep telling yourself that, darling.
(Elizabeth tries to kiss Jack, but he moves away)
Jack Sparrow: Once was quite enough!

Jack Sparrow: (walking Scarlett and Giselle to the Black Pearl Granted, it tends to list to port and has been on occasion known to frighten young women. But I promise you, you will not be disappointed.
Scarlett: (seeing a dinghy instead of the Pearl Is that it? The Black Pearl… Not very big.
Jack Sparrow: Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish. And gone. Why's it gone?
Giselle: (sees a ship in distance) Is that it there?
Jack Sparrow: Yes, there it is! Why is it there?... Its much larger up close.
Scarlett: (sigh) Jack, you promised to take us for a ride!
Giselle: I was to be given the first ride!
Scarlett: What, you?
(Jack spots Gibbs sleeping on the dock, and pours rum on his head to wake him up)
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs, any particular reason why my ship's gone?
Gibbs: The ship? We're on the ship! (Lies down again, but then starts up when he realizes what happened)
Gibbs: Jack! The ship's gone!
Jack Sparrow: (Sarcastically) Really?
(They turn to see the ladies fighting)
Jack Sparrow: Ladies, will you please shut it! Listen to me.
Jack Sparrow: (to Giselle) Yes, I lied to you.
Jack Sparrow: (to Scarlett) No, I don't love you.
Jack Sparrow: (to Giselle) Of course it makes you look fat.
Jack Sparrow: (to Scarlett) I've never been to Brussels.
Jack Sparrow: (to Giselle) It is pronounced egregious.
Jack Sparrow: (to Scarlett) By the way, no. I've never actually met Pizarro, but I love his pies.
Jack Sparrow: And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?
(Giselle slaps him, Scarlett slaps him, he slaps Gibbs. The ladies huff away, and Jack and Gibbs start laughing.)
Gibbs: Take what you can
Jack Sparrow: Give nothing back!
(Gibbs goes after the two girls)
Gibbs: Tell me, ladies...what do you know of sea turtles?

From Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Lord Cutler Beckett: Perhaps you remember a certain pirate named Jack Sparrow.
Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann: Captain!
Elizabeth Swann: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Gibbs: (When Jack shoots the monkey) You know that don't do no good!
Jack: Does me!

Marty: It's a key!
Jack: No! Much more better! It is a drawing of a key!

Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?
Jack Sparrow: No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?
Gibbs: So, we're setting out to find this key?
Jack Sparrow: Now you're not making any sense at all.

Jack Sparrow: Ah! A heading. Set sail in a... uh... a general... that way! direction.

Jack Sparrow: (empties bottle of rum) Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: (stands up and staggers drunkenly) Oh... that's why.

Gibbs: Do we have a heading?
Jack Sparrow: AH! Run! Land!
Gibbs: Which port?
Jack: Didn't say port! I said land! Any land!

Scarlett: Jack Sparrow?
Giselle: Haven't seen him in a month.
Scarlett: When you find him, will you give him a message?
(Slaps Will in the face)

Jack Sparrow: No, no! More wood! Big fire! I am chief! Want big fire!

Gibbs: Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!

Gibbs: Make ready to sail!
Will Turner: What about Jack? I won't leave without him!
(In the distance, they see Jack run around the corner, followed by the cannibals)
Will Turner: Time to go!

Jack Sparrow: (to cannibals) Alas, my children! This be the day you shall always remember as the day that you almost...
(gets splashed by a wave)
Jack Sparrow: ...Captain Jack Sparrow.

Gibbs: Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea!
Jack Sparrow: Yes to the first, yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible.
Gibbs: That seems a bit contradictory, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!

Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth.

Captain Bellamy: (he sees that the quartermaster and the bursar are arguing over a dress) If you both fancy the dress, you'll just have to share, and wear it one after the other.

Jack Sparrow: No worries! Tia Dalma and I go way back... thick as thieves, nigh inseparable we are... were... have been... before...
Gibbs: I'll watch your back.
Jack Sparrow: It's me front I'm worried about.
Gibbs: (to Will) Mind the boat.
Will Turner: (to Ragetti) Mind the boat.
Ragetti: (to Pintel) Mind the boat.
Pintel: (to Marty) Mind the boat.
Marty: (to Cotton's parrot) Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: (to Cotton) Mind the boat.
(It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat)

Tia Dalma: You know of Davy Jones? A man of the sea, a great sailor. Until he run afoul of that which vexes all men.
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Tia Dalma: What indeed.
Gibbs: The sea?
Pintel: Sums?
Ragetti: The dichotomy of good and evil?
Jack Sparrow: A woman

Tia Dalma: You know I demand payment.
Jack Sparrow: I brought payment. Look…(brings out the monkey in a cage, shoots him)
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
(Tia Dalma releases the monkey from the cage)
Gibbs: No! You've no idea how long it took us to catch that…

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: ...This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: No!
Tia Dalma: Then it helps.

Jack Sparrow: So what's your plan, then?
Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Jack Sparrow: I like it. Simple, easy to remember.

Davey Jones: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: (quickly) Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davey Jones: What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: Jack Sparrow? Sent me to settle his debt?

Jack Sparrow: Have you not met Will Turner? He's noble, heroic - terrific soprano. Worth at least four... maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention... he's in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?

Gibbs: (in Tortuga signing sailors up) And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life. I think I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.
Gibbs: You'll do, make your mark. Next!
Skinny Man: My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give a ass rat's if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect, next!

Jack Sparrow: (with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man) Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: (startled) I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: (turning around) Elizabeth!
Jack Sparrow: (to Gibbs) Hide the rum.
Jack Sparrow: (to Elizabeth) You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.
Elizabeth Swann: Jack. I know Will came to find you, where is he?
Jack Sparrow: Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.

Jack Sparrow: You look bloody awful, what are you doing here?
Norrington: You hired me. I can't help it if your standards are lax.
Jack Sparrow: (immaturely) You smell funny.

Jack Sparrow: (to Elizabeth One word, love: curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on a selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you won't be able to resist.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments! I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Ragetti: What? With a long A?
Pintel: Uh-huh.
Ragetti: Na-na-na-na-no-no no "Krah-ken"'s how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and "Krakken"'s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain't original Scandinavians, are we? Kray-kin.
Ragetti: It's a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants!

Jack Sparrow: (to Pintel and Ragetti) Guard the boat, mind the tide... don't touch my dirt.

Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: With good reason.

Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Will Turner: Sea turtles, mate. A pair of them strapped to my feet.
Jack Sparrow: Not so easy, is it?

Elizabeth Swann: (as Will, Jack, and Norrington fight) Stop it! Will!
Will Turner: Guard the chest!
Elizabeth Swann: (indignantly) No!
(Elizabeth gets up and strides after them)
This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked PIRATE!
(starts throwing rocks at them)
Elizabeth Swann: Enough! This is madness!
Elizabeth Swann: Oh! Oh, the heat!
(pretends to faint, then opens one eye to see that none of them have noticed)

Norrington: Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life.
Will Turner: Be my guest.

Jack Sparrow: (holds up jar of dirt) Oi! Fishface! Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!
(falls down stairs, holds up jar again)
Jack Sparrow: Got it! Come to negotiate, eh? Have you, you slimy git? Look what I got.
Jack Sparrow: (sing-song) I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Davey Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

Gibbs: There's only half a dozen kegs of powder!
Will Turner: Then load the rum!
(long silence; crew stops working)
Gibbs: Aye! The rum too! (winces and hurries away)

Gibbs: Heave! Heave like you're being paid for it!

Elizabeth Swann: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: We're not free yet, love.
Elizabeth Swann: You came back. I always knew you were a good man.
(kisses him to distract him, then handcuffs him to the mast)
Elizabeth Swann: It's after you, not the ship. It's not us. This is the only way, don't you see?
(pause)
Elizabeth Swann: I'm not sorry.
Jack Sparrow: (almost understandingly) Pirate.

Jack Sparrow: (after being covered in mucus when the Kraken roars at him) Not so bad... (wipes the slime from his face)
Jack Sparrow: (he looks down and sees his old hat) Oh! (reaches for his hat and puts it on)
Jack Sparrow: (smiles and draws his sword) 'Ello, beastie.

From Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Governor Swann: Lt. Norrington, I appreciate your fervor, but I'm concerned about the effect this subject will have upon my daughter.
Norrington: My apologies, Gov. Swann.
Young Elizabeth: Actually, I find it all fascinating.
Governor Swann: Yes. That's what concerns me.

(Elizabeth is being laced into a corset)
Governor Swann: Elizabeth, how's it coming?
Elizabeth Swann: It's difficult to say.
Governor Swann: I'm told it's the latest fashion in London.
Elizabeth Swann: Well, women in London must have learned not to breathe.

Elizabeth Swann: Will, how many times must I ask you to call me Elizabeth?
Will Turner: At least once more, Miss Swann, as always.

Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.
(Jack makes to continue but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy)
Jack Sparrow: Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg: Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack Sparrow: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl.
Mullroy: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails.
(Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed)
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: (nods No.
Mullroy: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.

Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north,
(looks at Jack's sword)
Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?

Jack Sparrow: (looking at all the swords) Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do. And I practice with them three hours a day.
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?

Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate!

Grapple: Say goodbye.
(A sign swings down and hits Grapple through a shop window)
Will Turner: Goodbye.

Will Turner: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Jack Sparrow: (after Will draws his sword) Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Jack Sparrow: The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

(Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs)
Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin', ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love! Jack! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. It's bad luck.
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it.
(Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs)
Mr. Gibbs: Blast, I'm already awake!
Will Turner: That was for the smell.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: (from beside them) Human hair.
(pause)
Jack Sparrow: From my back.

Elizabeth Swann: This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean.
Anamaria: You can tell them that after they've caught us.

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Pintel: You're supposed to be dead!
Jack Sparrow: Am I not?

Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Barbossa: So you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word it's the one I need and watch you sail away on my ship?
Jack Sparrow: No. I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on my ship and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Barbossa: Why thank ye, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Jacoby: I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain.
Elizabeth Swann: You like pain?
(hits pirate in the head with a pole)
Elizabeth Swann: Try wearing a corset.

Jack Sparrow: (to Weatherby Swann) I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Jack Sparrow: (to Commodore Norrington)I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry... Will... nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you...
(backs up and trips over ledge)

Jack Sparrow: Now...bring me that horizon!

From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - 2001
Dudley Dursley: Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

Ron: Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!

Ron: It's spooky! She knows more about you than you do!
Harry: Who doesn't?

Seamus Finnigan: (in Charms class) Wingardium Leviosa. Wingar...
(BOOM)
Harry: I think we're going to need another feather over here, professor.

Ron: What do they think they're doing, keeping a thing like that locked up in a school?
Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?
Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads... or maybe you didn't notice? There were three!

Hermione: Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you can come up with another clever idea to get us all killed - or worse, expelled.
Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!

Harry: Good of you to get us out of trouble like that.
Ron: Mind you, we did save her life!
Harry: Mind you, she might not have needed saving if you hadn't insulted her.
Ron: What are friends for?

Oliver Wood: Scared, Harry?
Harry: A little.
Oliver Wood: It's all right. I felt the same way before my first game.
Harry: What happened?
Oliver Wood: Er, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head two minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later.

Harry: I think if he had the chance, he would have killed me tonight.
Ron: And to think, I've been worrying about my potions final.

(As the students sit in the Great Hall studying, Neville comes hopping in, his legs apparently stuck completely together)

Ron: Leg-Locker Curse?
Harry: Malfoy.
Ron: You have got to start standing up to people, Neville.
Neville Longbottom: (wobbling uncontrollably) How? I can barely stand at all!
Seamus Finnigan: (Jumping up, wand at the ready) I'll do the counter-curse!
Neville Longbottom: No, that's all I need... you to set my bloody kneecaps on fire!
Seamus Finnigan: (Slamming his wand down) I don't appreciate the insinuation, Longbottom. Besides, if anyone cares to notice, my eyebrows have grown completely back!
(Stalks off angrily, but not before showing that a large chunk of hair is missing from the back of his head)

Ron: Immortal?
Hermione: It means you'll never die.
Ron: I know what it means!

(after Harry mentions Fluffy to Hagrid)
Hagrid: Who told you 'bout Fluffy?
Ron: Fluffy?
Hermione: That thing has a name?

Hermione: Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.
Ron: I'm ready! Ask me any questions.
Hermione: All right, what's the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?
Ron: I forgot.
Hermione: And what may I ask do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?
Ron: Copy off you?
Hermione: No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.
Ron: That's insulting! It's as if they don't trust us!

Hermione: Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this.
(raises her wand)
Hermione: Petrificus Totalus!
(Neville's arms snap to his sides, and he drops to the floor, frozen stiff as a board)
Ron: You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant... but scary.

(As they step over Neville Longbottom)
Harry: Sorry.
Hermione: Sorry.
Ron: It's for your own good, you know.

Hermione: (after Hermione and Harry sink in the Devil's Snare, Ron is still panicking) He's not relaxing, is he?
Harry: Apparently not.
Hermione: I've got to do something!
Harry: What?
Ron: Oh, I remember reading something in Herbology... um... "Devil's Snare, Devil's Snare...”It's deadly fun, but will sulk in the sun!" That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! Lumos Solem!
(she conjures a type of sunlight from her wand; Ron falls to the ground below)
Ron: (sigh) Lucky we didn't panic.

Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows.

Hagrid: If that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gets up to any mischief, you could always threaten him with a nice pair of ears, to go with that tail.
Harry: But, Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic outside Hogwarts. You know that.
Hagrid: I know that, but your cousin don't, do he?

From Rush Hour 2 - 2001
(Carter throws Lee's CD out the window)
Lee: That's my CD! Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD!

(After Carter tried to pick up two girls in Chinese)
Carter: All I did was invite them to have a drink.
Lee: You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.
Carter: Which word was 'goat'?

Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.
Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!
Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong. Here, I am Michael Jackson and you are Toto.
Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for dinner last night!

Carter: All right, listen up! All the Triads and the ugly women on this side, and all the fine women on this side, right now!

(During a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men)
Carter: (after accidentally punching Lee) Sorry, man!
Lee: Carter!
Carter: All y'all look alike!

Carter: I don't like my chickens alive, I like 'em dead and deep fried. You ever heard of Popeye's?

Carter: Who died, Lee?
Lee: You!
Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth.

Carter: Couldn't help noticing how she was staring at a brother.
Lee: She never even looked at you.
Carter: You're just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you're third-world ugly.
Lee: I am not third world ugly! Women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.
Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you!

Carter: Now, why did you say it was a bomb?
Lee: You said it was a bomb!
Carter: I did not!
Lee: In the hotel, you said it was a bomb.
Carter: I said, "she was the bomb"
Lee: She was the bomb?

Lee: Where did you learn that?
Kenny: Master Ching.
Lee: Master Ching of Hong Kong?
Kenny: No, Freddy Ching on Crenshaw.
Lee: They're brothers.
Kenny: (pointing to Carter) Why are you hangin' with 7-11?
Lee: 7-11?
Kenny: Yeah, his mouth never closes.
Carter: Hey, I heard that!
Kenny: What do you mean comin' up in my place and embarrassin' me in front of my wife, my child and my friends?
Carter: You embarassin' yourself, man, you're a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw!

Carter: (In a casino) I have a dream! That one day, white people, and black people... and even Chinese people, can gamble together with the same number of chips!

Carter: Why didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?
Lee: I did!
Carter: No, you did not!
Lee: I said "mmm!"
Carter: What the hell is "mmm! mmm!'?
Lee: Mmm! Bomb!

(When he's about to fight Hu Li)
Carter: I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.

(In an outtake, when Ricky Tan falls on the car after being kicked out a window by Inspector Lee)
Carter: Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3!

Quotes from Bollywood movies:-

From Om Shanti Om - 2007
Om Prakash Makhija: "Mind it!"

Om Kapoor (OK): "Picture toh abhi baki hai, meri dost!" (The end of the film is yet to come, my friend - that means it's not the end yet. I didn't translate this because the Indian version is so appropriate!)

Director: Sir, as you see, sir, this is the climax scene, where Natasha, the heroine, is getting married to the villain, Ranbir
OK (into his Bluetooth): Oh, that so rocks, babes!
Director: Rocks?
OK: Uh-huh! (points at Bluetooth) Bluetooth? Nokia? You keep talking, and I keep talking, talk, talk, talk!
Director: So, Raj - that's you - his heart is breaking! He wants to tell the heroine that "Natasha, I really love you!", but he can't say it
OK (laughing/snorting): Why? Am I mute?
Director: Correct, sir! You remember your mother's death scene?
OK: Now there's a mother too?
Director: Sir, in your mother's death scene, you yelled, "MA!" so loudly, that you lose your voice. Now, for the last time, you want to look at Natasha, but you can't do that either!
OK: Why, why?
Director: Because you are blind as well, sir!
OK: Oh! I am blind too! I see!
Director: No, sir, you don't.
OK: I don't?
Director: Sir, music starts in the background, you leave the foreground. Natasha turns to look at you and -
OK: Whoa, whoa, whoa? Natasha turns to look at me? But Natasha is blind!
Director: No, sir, you're blind!
OK: But I was mute!
Director: Sir, you are mute and blind, and when Natasha calls out to you saying, "Stop, Raj!", you don't stop, because, sir, in this movie, you are deaf as well.
OK: What the fish! I don't know what he is talking about!
Director: Yes, sir, in the background, the wedding is happening, and in the foreground is just you and your beating heart.
OK: Whoa, whoa, whoa, one second! I am angry now! Let me, let me read the dialogue..."Natasha, I just want to say that I want to lift you away from this place, but I am helpless. I can't get up from the wheelchair, and both my hands have been cut off as well"?!
Director: Cut, sir, gone!
OK: I have lost both my hands?! What is this? In this film, does the hero have any body parts in working order or not
Director: Of course, sir, as you see, his aching heart!
OK: There will be no ache in the heart! The audience will get a headache watching this picture. This film might get critical acclaim, it might win awards! But let me tell you this: this film is a flop!

From Nehlle Pe Dehlla - 2007
Jimmy: "Okay, I'll admit you're worth seventy-five cents, and I'm worth only a quarter. But without the quarter, the seventy-five cents would never become a dollar!"

From Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna - 2006
Rishi Talwar: Dude, I'm nervous
Samarjit Singh Talwar: Why?
Rishi: It's taken her three years to say yes. She won't run away at the last minute, will she?
Samarjit: No, no! She can't run away anywhere!
Rishi: Yeah...after all, where will she find a better husband than me, right?
Samarjit: No, our security is just extremely tight.

Kamal Saran: God, that scared me!
Samarjit Singh Talwar: Didn't mean to scare you...hello!
Kamal: Hello!
Samarjit: I'm Sam...and this is my house!
Kamal: I'm Kamal...and this is my food
Samarjit: Really...may I? Thank you (takes a piece of dessert)
Samarjit: Wow...definitely a sardarni!
Kamal: How did you know?
Samarjit: Because I have tasted both their delicious food and their stinging slaps
Kamal: I know. I've heard quite a lot about you
Samarjit: Don't go by what people say!
Kamal: But nobody other than people talk, Mr. Talwar. If you don't go by their word, what word do you go by?
Samarjit: Mine! My word...You are from Chandnigarh.
Kamal: And how did you figure that out?
Samarkit: (walks behind her, and stares pointedly at her behind) Definitely Chandigarh (walks off)
Kamal: (gasps, and puts one hand on her back)
Dev Saran: Mom! What are you doing?
Kamal: Ass...
Dev: Huh?
Kamal: Aise! (Because!) It's nothing, nothing!

Maya: Excuse me... excuse me!
Dev: (confused, wondering where the voice is coming, first looks at the sky and then looks up, surprised, to see a girl in bride's clothes sitting alone on the bench) Huh?
Maya: Please don't mess up the garden. I have just cleaned up
Dev: (intrigued) Are you the gardener?
Maya: (indicating her bride's clothes) What do you think?
Dev: I think you have stolen the bride's clothes! Should I go and inform them inside?
Maya: (visibly annoyed) Could you just please leave me alone?
Dev: Of course...not! Your wedding's going on inside, and you're sitting out here? Why?
Maya: Do you have a problem?
Dev: Not directly, but indirectly I do... my mother has a problem. The faster you go inside, the faster my mother can leave from here. (sits beside her)
Maya: (surprised at his audacity for sitting next to her) You're a strange man. You sat down?
Dev: Then should I lie down and chat? One-to-one discussions always happens while sitting down!
Maya: Discussion?
Dev: Yes, I love discussions, and I know you have a problem. So, talk to me. Tell me everything!
Maya: Why should I discuss my problem with you?
Dev: So, you admit there is a problem. (she looks away) By the way, I don't take advice from anyone. But I'm always ready to give advice to others. Besides, you should always listen to strangers. Sometimes, they know better than our own.
Maya: Are you married?
Dev: (shows her his wedding ring) Einstein...It's been five years exactly, counting today
Maya: What did you think before marrying?
Dev: Who thinks before marrying? (laughing)
Dev: Just kidding. Rhea and me, are friends from college, so we thought we'd give our friendship a new meaning. Besides, what can be better than spending your entire life with your friend?
Maya: At times, friendship replaces love and then there's no room left for love
Dev: The guy waiting for you inside, is he your friend or your love?
Maya: (pondering over his question)
Dev: You shouldn't take this long
Maya: (smiles) I have known Rishi since childhood. After my parents died, Rishi and his father became my family.
Dev: Oh...what a sweet family. But that's not the answer to my question...Do you love him?
Maya: I do... But not the way I thought I would love him.
Dev: Then like how? Like the kind of love found in good books and bad films? That kind of love?
Maya: No...The way that love ought to be... That kind of love.
Dev: Oh, that kind of love! But does it even exist anymore? Listen to this: (clears throat) "The sagas of everlasting romances have gone past long ago, just learn to make do with tiny love stories!" (laughs)
Maya: Does that mean you don't love your wife?
Dev: (ponders over her question)
Maya: You shouldn't take this long
Dev: (laughs) We are happy. We have made our little world together
Maya: That's not the answer to my question

Dev: What the - What are you doing? You're sitting on my leg!
Sardar-ji: Sorry, sir...please don't mind! My little Tinu here is just a little nervous. He thinks the Black Beast is going to kidnap him.
Dev: Why should I mind? My leg was already broken! (to the really big, heavy little Tinu) Oh, my dear Tinu, my small, fat little angel, the Black Beast will not kidnap you! To do that, he has to lift you, and have you looked at your weight lately? My little fatso! (to the Sardar-ji) Your son's not a child - he's a pig - pig!
Sardar-ji: What?
Dev: And with God's blessing, even if he does manage to lift him, the Black Beast would himself die of a heart attack!
Tinu: Mummy! Mummy!
Dev: Mummy? You mean she's still alive? How did she survive the weight?
Sardar-ji: How insolent!
Dev: Insolent? You football field, pick up this football of yours and leave! (they start getting up to leave) And by the way, does your family ever fit together in one single photograph?

Rishi: Maya...Maya...Maya!...MAYA!
Maya: (turns off the vacuum cleaner) What?
Rishi: If you clean any more, the house will collapse!
Maya: Rishi! (she spots something, and gasps a little) Take off your pants!
Rishi: Take off what?
Maya: Your pants!
Rishi: Here?
Maya: If not here, then where?
Rishi: But why?
Maya: Why?
Rishi: (getting excited) I know why! Oh, my -
Maya: Come on, Rishi! Quickly! I don't have much time!
Rishi: I know! I've always wanted to do this in the kitchen! It's been a dream!
Maya: Yeah, yeah, mine too!
Rishi: Wow!
Maya: Fast! (she takes the pants, and turns away)
Rishi: Hello? Now your turn
Maya: Me? Why?
Rishi: Well, if you don't, then how are we...? It would be kind of tough!
Maya: Rishi...I don't need to remove anything...because there's no stain on my clothes! (shakes the stained pants at him)

Dev: Why are you crying?
Arjun: Because I thought I was going to be kidnapped!
Dev: Oh, I don't have enough good fortune for someone to kidnap you!

Rishi: Is your husband the Black Beast?
Rhea: No, he's just a beast.

Maya: You are an unhappy man and always will be.
Dev: And you are beautiful woman and always will be.

Dev: What are your intentions?
Samarjit: My intentions are honorable, but I do not want a dowry, I am anti dowry.

Maya: The day after tomorrow is our wedding anniversaries, so I thought we should do something special for our spouses.
Dev: Let us divorce them, that will be quite special!

Dev: I love you, Maya. And you love me too.

From Fanaa - 2006
Rehan Qadri: Oh, you're blind.
Zooni Ali Beg: Yes, you didn't see that? Are you blind too?
Rehan Qadri: Thank God, I'm not.
Zooni Ali Beg: That's a nice thing to say to a blind person.
Rehan Qadri: If I was blind, I couldn't have seen the most beautiful thing in the world, you. "Your beauty made God make a mistake, what more can I say? So that you don't caste an evil eye on yourself, he took your eyes away."

Zooni Ali Beg: "Tere dil mein meri saason ko panhaa mil jaye. Teri ishq mein meri jaan fanaa ho jaye" (May my life's-breath find shelter in your heart. Destroyed in your love, may my life depart. Too beautiful to translate!)

From Neal N' Nikki - 2005
Nikki: Stupid - idiot - jerk - slimeball - cockroach - creep!
Neal: Hey, why have we stopped?
Nikki: What does he think of himself?
Neal: Who?
Nikki: (points at a truck) Him! My boyfriend! (zooms in on a hideous old truck driver with a beard like Santa Claus)
Neal: That truck driver is your boyfriend?
Nikki: Not him! (Points at the picture on the truck) Him!
Neal: He's kind of big...
Nikki: (throwing stones at the picture) Who does he think he is? Just because his face is on every hoarding truck and box of cornflakes, he thinks he can dump me? He will never get a girl like me! Never! Understand?
Neal: That's true.
Nikki: He's not dumped me. He's dumped true love. (To the picture) You and Amanda can go to hell!
Neal: Who's Amanda?
Nikki: That witch he dumped me for!
Neal: Ah...(To the picture) Good job!
Nikki: What didn't I do for him? I even joined cookery classes for him!
Neal: How sweet
Nikki: Okay, so I almost killed him. But did I tell him to go be allergic to onions? I mean - who's allergic to onions?
Neal: I'm allergic to prawns
Nikki: It's not about you. It's about me!

From Salaam Namaste - 2005
Jaggu: "Babes, what I alway the say about Indians?"
Girl: "Sorry?"
Jaggu: "Eggjackly!"

Nikhil Arora: "...and, I'm in love with you."
Ambar Malhotra: "You can't be in love with me"
Nikhil Arora: "Why, what's wrong with you?"

From Veer-Zaara - 2004
Veer Pratap Singh: After having 8-10 children, you come back to India and I'll carry you around the village on my bicycle.
Zaara Hayaat Khan: I'd be too fat by then to be carried on a cycle.
Veer Pratap Singh: Don't worry, I'll get you a tractor...

From Hum Tum - 2004
Karan: There're 6 hours before our flight to New York and sitting in this airport is boring. Why don't we go sight-seeing in Amsterdam. It shouldn't be a problem since you have a visa.
Rhea: How do you know I have a visa?
Karan: Because in the plane I checked your passport!
Rhea: WHAT? You went through my bag?
Karan: You were asleep and I was bored, I saw your bag and figured I'd take a look.
Rhea: How dare you? Don't you know you can't go through lady's handbags? (begins walking ahead)
Karan: Why not? What's the big secret? Fine, I won't do it again. Wait, I said I was sorry. Where are you going?
Rhea: I thought we'd go sight-seeing in Amsterdam.

Rhea: Karan Kapoor?
Karan: That's right. (notices Rhea and stops in shock)
Karan: No Way! Rhea! (walks over)
Karan Kapoor: Well done, yaar. (which means buddy) You're looking like a girl!
Rhea: (swats his hand away) Don't touch me! (a tent pole collapses behind them)
Karan: No! The pole!
Rhea: You know what, Karan? Whenever I'm around you something HAS to go wrong. (She notices his shaggy haircut)
Rhea: and...'what' have you done to your hair?
Karan: (whining) What? This is my Tom Cruise look. You wouldn't understand, its not a matter for your level. It's fashion.
Rhea: (shakes her head) You're a loser!
Karan: Forget that, what are you doing here?
Rhea: What are YOU doing here??
Karan: I'm in-charge here
Rhea: (looks around at the chaos) That much is obvious
Karan: (gives her a look) Actually, my Mummy is in-charge here, I'm just helping her out. (Rhea nods)
Karan: So, what are you doing here?
Rhea: You're organizing a wedding with your Mummy, and you don't even know who the bride is? (points to herself)
Karan: No way? You? (Rhea nods proudly)
Karan: You're getting married so late? I figured you already had three or four kids! (Rhea looks at him in shock)
Karan: Come on, do you have any? you can tell me.
Rhea: (disgusted) You're really a loser, Karan. I figured that one slap and three years later you wouldve come to your senses. I guess was wrong. Some people 'never' change. My bags are in the car, have them taken up to my room
Karan: Do I look like a porter to you?
Rhea: Something like that! Bye, Karan. (walks away)
Karan: I hate that chick.

(This is that scene where Karan is trying to convince Rhea that arranged marriages aren't too bad. To illustrate his point, he's pretending to be a 'suitor' of Rhea's and so, they're carrying out a sort of interview)
Karan: Now, what about children?
Rhea: What about them?
Karan: No, I'm not asking you. Don't you want to ask me if I like children?
Rhea: Oh yes, of course! So, do you like children?
Karan: Very much! First, I want a girl, beautiful and intelligent, just like you. I'm going to be a very good daddy. If any boy like me comes in front of her, I'll tear his head off.
Rhea: (laughs) And you think if you do this, it will make you a good father?
Karan: Listen, you're going to be such a good mother that it won't matter if I spoil the children a little.
Rhea: I see. So I do all the work and you do all the spoiling?
Karan: Yes! See, if you look at it from my point of view, we're the perfect marriage. All we need to complete the family photo is a little dog.
Rhea: And we'll call the dog Tommie.
Karan: That's a stupid name... ok, the dog's name will be Tommie, But on one condition - you do all the walking and feeding of Tommie.
Rhea: Done.
Karan: All I'm going to do is sit at the table and feed him little bits off my plate, saying "Here, Tommie, eat, eat."
Rhea: So after the wedding, what are you going to do besides spoil the kids and Tommie?
Karan: What else is there to do? I'm just going to kick back and enjoy my life with the kids and Tommie. (Rhea stares at him)
Karan: Oh yes, and you.
Rhea:So I come after the kids and Tommie?
Karan: No, Rhea, that was a mistake. I meant with you.
Rhea: So I come after the kids and Tommie?
Karan: No. Rhea, that- I'm sorry.
Rhea: If you put my name after the kids and Tommie, I'll cut you up into little, little, little, little, little pieces and feed them to Tommie!
Karan: Ok, ma'am, ok, I'm sorry! (takes her face in his hands)
Karan From now on, the kids and Tommie come second. The only person I love in this world is you. (they stare at each other, then quickly move away)
Karan: (nervously laughing) See how easy arranged marriages are? We almost got married!

Rhea: (smiling reminiscently) Remember we first met at an airport? I hated you so much!
Karan: (serious) Yeah, I know! Same here!
Rhea: No, you didn't!
Karan: No, I really hated you!
Rhea: Oh, is that why you tried to kiss me?
Karan: Tried?
Rhea: Shut up, Karan!

From Kal Ho Naa Ho - 2003
Lajjo: Oh, so you are awake...! Looking so good, just like Hari Putter!
Shiv: Harry Potter, dadi! Harry Potter! (dadi means grandmother)

Sweetu: What? I was getting ready for my blind date.
Lajjo: Blind date?
Kammo-ji: Oh, a date with a blind boy.
Lajjo Kapur: No wonder she has blindfolded herself.
Sweetu: A blind date means a date with a boy who has never seen me.
Jazz: And when he sees her, he will be blinded by shock.
Sweetu: How rude is that? Anyway Naina, I can't come to dinner tonight. Bye all.
Jazz: Bye, ball! (turns to Naina) Make your call!

Aman Mathur: Listen... live... be happy... smile... Who knows? Tomorrow may not be...

Rohit Patel: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Lalaland... Rohit loves Naina but Naina doesn't love Rohit. She loves Aman. But Aman tells Rohit that he shouldn't let go of Naina so easily. So basically Aman is... insane!

Aman Mathur: I have a theory about girls. The more you run after them, the more they will run away from you. But if you run away from them they will be confused and will run after you to find out the reason for their confusion. And we have to take advantage of such a confusion of a confused girl!
Rohit Patel: Even I'm confused!
Aman Mathur: You just do as I say! I have a plan. Six days and girl in! Just six days!
Rohit Patel: Wow! But why six days and not seven?
Aman Mathur: I don't work on Sundays

Jennifer Kapur: Why don't you have something?
Kurzon Bhai Patel: Yes... sure! (to Rohit) Listen... Pass me the Cock!
Rohit Patel: Coke, dad! Please...
Kurzon Bhai Patel: There is this famous decorater from Paris who is coming and at the same time he will decorate my hole! You know... I have a very big hole!
Rohit Patel: Hall!

From Munnabhai M. B. B. S - 2003
(Circuit accompanies Munnabhai to his college room)
Circuit: (looking around) What the...? It ends almost right where it begins!
Munna: Circuit, do you know why God sent me to this college?
Circuit: God certainly never told me!
Munna: Because he wants me to settle a score with the man who made my father cry!
Circuit: Okay, if it's settled with God, all right!

Circuit: Hey, stop imitating a bedspread, and get off the bed!

Dr. Asthana: May I ask what is happening here?
Munna: No!

Dr. Asthana: Can I ask what is going on here?
Munna: Ask! Don't be shy, ask. Come on, ask!

Munna: Circuit, did you know that there are 206 bones in the body? We never thought about that while breaking them, did we?

Circuit: (threateningly) Are you Zaheer? Are you the one who slapped Bro?
Zaheer: Yes...
Circuit: (laughing) You've got some guts, dude!

Suman: (about Anand) Murli, what's the point of talking to him? Nothing you say to him will reach his brain!
Munna: So what if his ears can't hear it? He hears it with his heart! You see, when two people share a strong connection, then they can communicate to each other through their hearts
Suman: You're too much, Murli... (She leaves, but Munna tries to prove his point)
Munna: (thinking) Ms. Suman, I hope you can hear me... (No response)
Munna: (thinking) Mike testing, 1, 2, 3 (No response)
Munna: (thinking) Ms. Suman, I think I'm in love with you (Suman finally turns and looks at Munna. She smiles, blushes and leaves)

(after Munna is expelled, he and Circuit are wandering around in a drunken stupor)
Munna: Circuit, I've decided I'm going back to the village!
Circuit: (flourishing two tickets) I knew it - that's why I brought TWO railway tickets!
Munna: But what will you do in the village? You can't even handle a plough!
Circuit: Bro, if I do that, then what will the cows do?

Munna: Circuit, have you ever felt as though you were going to die?
Circuit: You know that dude Shakeel?
Munna: Yeah?
Circuit: He once went after me with a knife - I thought I was gonna go that day!
Munna: Not that, Circuit - I meant, have you ever felt as though you were fatally ill, and could only wait, helpless? Watching the clock and calendar go by like a time bomb, and your life, your dreams coming face to face with THE END
Circuit: Bro, my mother used to say that we became stars when we die... (He starts pointing at stars in the sky)
Circuit: Look, there's my father - the bugger used to beat me a lot! And there's Uncle - he was a cool dude! Hey... where's Mom? Aaah, Mumbai's getting too polluted, man.

Munna: Circuit, I'm missing Mom. I keep remembering her.
Circuit: Your memory is very solid, man. Even I can see her! Hey, are you missing Dad too? Because I can see him as well.

Circuit: (Answering the phone) Who is this?
Munna: It's your dad! Who do you think?
Circuit: Bro! How are you, bro?
Munna: I need a body
Circuit: Body? Whose body, bro?
Munna: You know, the one they use for dissection, one of those bodies
Circuit: Bro, how am I going to find one of those bodies?
Munna: How would I know? Just find one!
Circuit: Dump the tension, bro, you concentrate on your studies, I'll organize a body! (he looks out onto the street and see's a chinese tourist taking pictures of some of the other gang members posing for the camera)
Circuit: Bro, will an imported body do?
Munna: Yeah, yeah, just bring it quickly!
Circuit: I'll be there in ten minutes, bro, just ten minutes! (hangs up)
Circuit: Hey Butkya... get a sack
Butkya: Right away (leaves to get a sack)
Chinese tourist: (taking pictures of Munna's gang members posing for the camera while doing there laundry) Thank you! Thank you!
Circuit: (walking to the chinese tourist) Hey, chilli chicken, you wanna take some pictures of an ambulance? It's a five-star ambulance!
Chinese tourist: No, I want real India, poor people, hungry people!
Circuit: Poor hungry people, inside the ambulance! They are really bleurghh!
Chinese tourist: Really? Okay, good!
Circuit: Hey, hakka noodle, youve come in from abroad and you only wanna see naked, hungry people? You don't see Taj Mahal, Taj Mahal?
Chinese tourist: No no, hungry and poor men!
Butkya: (Runs up with a small shopping bag) Bro, will this bag do?
Circuit: (looks at the bag, takes it and whacks Butkya across the head with it) Stupid! How the hell am I going to fit him in? Should I fold him? Hey, you! (to the Chinese tourist)
Circuit: What's your height?
Chinese tourist: What?
Circuit: How long, how long?
Chinese tourist: 5 foot six
Circuit (to the gang member): Get a six foot bag!
Circuit (to the chinese tourist): You come with me, you don't want to see Taj Mahal, I will show you hungry Indians! (leads him into the ambulance)
Chinese tourist: (from inside the ambulance, as circuit knocks him out) Argh!

From Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham - 2001
(This scene takes place right after Anjali finds out India won the cricket match)
Anjali: Rukhsar! Rukhsar!
Bua-ji: Stop shouting so loudly! A suitor has come to see her as a prospective bride!
(Cut to scene inside house)
Sayeeda: (to Rukhsar) Sit down, dear. Salute them.
Rukhsar: Assalamu Alaikum
Mother-in-law: Wa-alaikum Assalam
Little kid (probably the groom's younger brother): (to his grandmother) Grandmother, wake up, the bride's here!
Grandmother: Huh?
Sayeeda: Assalamu Alaikum
Grandmother (mistaking Sayeeda for the bride): Oh! Mashallah, mashallah! Her face is as bright as the full moon! She is just as I had imagined!
Sayeeda: (Flustered) Well, no, it's not me...This is my daughter, Rukhsar (gestures towards Rukhsar)
Grandmother: What? Bukhar? (Fever?)
Mother-in-law: Not fever, mother! She's Rukhsar! Rukhsar!
Grandmother: Oh, Rukhsar!
Anjali (from outside the window): Rukhsar! Rukhsar!
Rukhsar (looking around a little worriedly, hoping everyone else didn't see): What? What happened?
Anjali: We won the match!
Sayeeda: My daughter's very quiet and introverted (that's supposed to be a good thing, by the way)
Rukhsar (really loudly): We won!
Grandmother: Allah! What happened?
Mother-in-law: Very quiet and introverted, eh?
(Rukhsar looks a little ashamed)
Mother-in-law: By the way, what is her age?
Anjali (outside the window): Hundred! (I think she means the score of the cricket match, or the batting or something - I'm not very familiar with cricket)
Rukhsar: Sau! (Which is a hundred in Hindi - it sounds just like saw in English)
Little kid: Grandmother, she says she's a hundred years old!
Grandmother: Kya? Nau saal ki? (What? Nine years old?)
Sayeeda: No, no, no, she's going to turn twenty-one soon!
Grandmother: Ah, the blossoming of youth!
Mother-in-law: Actually, we live in Lucknow, but this is Chandni Chowk...Anyway, I guess I forgot to tell you, my son's name is Ashfaque!
Rukhsar: (whispering to Anjali outside the window) Who? (She meant who did the batting, or who is the star player)
Anjali: Sachin!
Rukhsar: Sachin!
Grandmother: Sachin?
Mother-in-law: Sachin? If there's anyone else
Sayeeda: No, no! Please don't say such things! Er - Uncle Sachin! Her late Uncle Sachin! She was very attached to him. She always remembers him on happy occasions.
Grandmother (beginning to cry): Sachin! Poor Uncle Sachin!

Rahul: (hitting the punctured tyre) Shit! Shit! Now who did this?
Anjali: I did! I simply love puncturing tyres!
Rahul: Hehehe. Was that a joke?
Anjali: What if it was?
Rahul: I don't like jokes!
Anjali: I don't like you!
Rahul: (hitting her lightly) Yeah?
Anjali: (hitting back) Yeah!
Rahul: (hitting) Yeah!
Anjali: (hitting) Yeah!
Rahul: (hitting) Yeah!
Anjali: (hitting) Yeah!

Col. Almeida: Who's Bharat? (Who's India?)

From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - 1998
Principal Malhotra: You are very queet!... Queet?

From Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge - 1995
Simran Singh: I'm sorry. I said a bit too much in anger.
Raj Malhotra: It's all right, Senorita. In big countries, such small things keep happening.

From Baazigar - 1993
Ajay Sharma: Sometimes, to win something, one has to lose something too, and they call such a person, Baazigar

Copy-And-Pastes:
If you absolutely LOVE/ADORE/WORSHIP Bollywood, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your favorite Bollywood actress is Kajol, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with Om Shanti Om, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't wait until you see Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teens do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this on your profile

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If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this to your profile

There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. Its when you argue with yourself and LOSE when its weird. If you agree copy this on your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Finch said it wasn't cool to breath anymore. If your one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your butt off, copy this on your profile

If you think those stupid kids should give that rabbit some Trix, copy this on your profile

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If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

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If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile.

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If you did not know that a dentist invented the electric chair and now are freaked out, copy and this on your profile.

If you believe that it is law that EVERY movie Johnny Depp is in, he is just FABULOUS, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever heard of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, copy this into your profile.

If you think there should be a picture of Deathly Hallows and/or Jo Rowling next to "Awesome" in the dictionary, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think there should be a picture of the Curiosity scene next to "adorable" in the dictionary, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think that Will is a fine whelp and everything but Jack and Elizabeth belong together and that there's so much tension and chemistry between them that they can out run any ship in the Caribbean than copy and paste this in you profile. Because Sparrabeth is faster than your ship, its better than your ship, its prettier than your ship and its a hell of a lot hotter than your ship! (Unless your ship is the Pearl in which case it's only slightly better than your ship.)

If you think Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean-- are made for each other and that, no matter how wonderfully wonderful Will Turner may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, copy and paste this into your profile!
I don’t care what other people say about Sparrabeth, I will support it always and NEVER turn my back on it! If you feel strongly about this... please copy and paste this into your profile!

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER, I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever thought really hard about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is and hope he heard, copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

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If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, Esme's Favorite Daughter,moonifrui, Isabellamariecullen3214,FreeSpiritedWanderingSinner, DeWiL, fangirlofrandomness

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who do know, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you’ve ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Note: I did this for the last 3 Harry Potter books, and Eclipse!)

If you hate those pesky mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile.

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!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you have an extremely long profile, and you actually read all of this on my profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

1. Sparrabeth Moments » reviews
What was Jack thinking the first time he met Elizabeth? What really happened on Rum-Runner's Isle? This is all about what Jack and Elizabeth were thinking in Sparrabeth moments from Pirates 1, 2, and 3.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,652 - Reviews: 38 - Updated: 9-6-08 - Published: 8-13-08 - Jack S. & Elizabeth S.
2. The Ten Melodies of Jack and Elizabeth reviews
This is a collection of ten Sparrabeth drabbles based on songs shuffled from my iPod. Phantomofthecaribbean started this, and I think there are two other fics like this, so it's not exactly original, but please read it and tell me what you think!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,349 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-20-08 - Elizabeth S. & Jack S. - Complete
3. I Like You Just The Way You Are reviews
It's the day after Alanna agreed to marry George, but for some reason, he still isn't believing it completely. How can Alanna convince him she really does want to be the wife of the former Prince of Thieves?
Song of the Lioness - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,436 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-12-08 - Tortall - Complete
4. Omigod, You Guys! » reviews
It's to the tune of Omigod, You Guys! from Legally Blonde: The Musical, but it's about Edward and Bella! It's how every fan felt that day Breaking Dawn came out...and a little about how we felt later. 2 versions. Minor BD spoilers in 2nd one.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 8-12-08 - Published: 8-1-08 - Bella & Edward - Complete
5. Guitar Hero » reviews
My friend gave me the prompt of Guitar, and I had to write something about it. So, this is how James wins Lily over - with the help of a certain musical instrument! JPLE, of course!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,762 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-17-08 - Published: 6-16-08 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete
6. Is Om OK? reviews
An Om Shanti Om fic, of course! In the aftermath of the fire, Om is left wondering who he is, Om Kapoor or Om Prakash Makhija. On top of it all, an upset Sandy think she should go home, and he has to find a way to make her stay.
Bollywood - Rated: K+ - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,820 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-10-08
7. My Heart Goes Mmmmm reviews
Another Ron/Hermione songfic, to the song My Dil Goes Mmmmm from the movie Salaam Namste. I translated it, of course! This is basically a series of moments from after DH. Extreme fluff! And it also makes Ron do something he has never done before: clean!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,079 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-9-08 - Ron W. & Hermione G. - Complete
8. Love Has Happened reviews
It's basically a songfic of important moments in Ron and Hermione's relationship, to a Hindi song titled Ishq Hua, meaning Love Has Happened from the movie Aaja Nachle. It fits Ron and Hermione amazingly. I translated it, and wrote a songfic to it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,770 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-8-08 - Ron W. & Hermione G. - Complete
9. Sandy's Bollywood Analysis reviews
Om Shanti Om. Sandy's at the music launch of Akbar-Zaara. She's looking around all the stars and the cliques and stuff, and then she meets someone...no prizes for guessing who! Hey, everyone has at least one OSO fic, I have mine too!
Bollywood - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,879 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-15-08 - Complete
10. Head Secrets reviews
James has a secret, and it's bothering Lily a lot. Will she find out what it is? Add that to some midnight talks and almost-arguments, and you get Fangirlofrandomness's next story!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,169 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 2-12-08 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete
11. That Girl Who's Unlike Any Other » reviews
It's the last night at Hogwarts EVER, and James needs to say something! Can you guess what it is? Also contains a Hindi song Woh Ladki Jo Sabse Alag Hai, or That Girl Who's Unlike Any Other, from the movie Baadshah. I translated it! Read!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,731 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-31-08 - Published: 11-20-07 - James P. & Lily Evans P. - Complete
12. I Can't Wait To See You Again reviews
It's a songfic to Miley Cyrus's See You Again, and it's basically Ginny and Harry's relationship over the years, sort of. Reviews make me happy!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,421 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-17-08 - Harry P. & Ginny W. - Complete
13. Would You Like To Dance? reviews
There's a Ball at Hogwarts, but why isn't Lily having fun? Click it to find out, you know you want to! And R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 12-14-07 - James P. & Lily Evans P. - Complete
14. In My Hands reviews
A songfic to an Indian Bollywood song called Mere Haath Mein, or In My Hands. I put up the translation, it fits Edward and Bella so well! R&R
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,563 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11-12-07 - Complete
15. He Loves You, He Loves You Not » reviews
When Lily finally figures out she likes James, she tries plucking flower petals to figure out whether he likes her or not. Used to be a oneshot, but I added another oneshot to it, this time about Hermione and Ron, but basically the same thing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,393 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 9-12-07 - Published: 9-4-07 - Lily Evans P. & Hermione G. - Complete
16. Loss Yet Another KKHH Fanfic reviews
Rahul has just lost his beautiful wife, Tina. This is basically his thoughts as he is gazing into the fire at the start of the movie. Sort of angsty
Bollywood - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 602 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete
17. Giving Her Up Version 2 reviews
This is Aman's thoughts as he gave Anjali to Rahul. This one actually ties in with the movie, while the other is slightly AU. Read it and see.
Bollywood - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,028 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete
18. Giving Her Up Aman's Sacrifice reviews
This is basically Anjali and Rahul's wedding from the point of view of Aman. It's slightly AU, so I'll make another one with the real sequence of events sometime.
Bollywood - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 630 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-30-07 - Complete
19. The Arm Wrestling Match reviews
This is how the famous SRKajol jodi of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Rahul and Anjali, met. According to me.
Bollywood - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,285 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-28-07 - Complete
20. First Sight reviews
It's basically a KKHH fanfic, when Aman seesmeets Anjali for the first time. Read and Review please! My first fic, so be nice.
Bollywood - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,385 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-27-07 - Complete
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