Hey. My name is Jesse.
I love to read Harry Potter and Naruto fanfiction; HP fanfiction because the characters JKR have created are awesome, but the books suck, and Naruto fanfiction because the characters suck but the plot is awesome. I'm writing my own stories, but I'm a slow typer. And...I. Am. A. GRAMMAR NAZI!
Likes:
Naruto - Dark!, Genjutsu!, Kenjutsu!, ANBU!, Nar/Anko, Nar/Hana, Nar/Hanabi, Nar/Tayuya, Nar/FemKyuubi, Nar/FemHaku, Nar/Kurenai, Naruto-creates-his-own-village
Harry Potter - DarkbutGood!, Unspeakable!, Brother-of-BWL!, HPNT, HPBL, HPNM, HPFleur, HPGab, HPOC, HPDG, HPGW, HPPP
Hates:
Yaoi. I don't hate gay people, I just hate the girls (and guys) who like to read/write it, and thus spam all corners of the internet with their yaoiness.
Weak, loser Harry Potter who's a goody-two-shoes and is Mr. Noble.
A Naruto who yells "Believe it!" and is obsessed with saving Sasuke. As a result, I also hate Kishimoto.
Sasuke.
Nar/Sakura. There are some exceptions to this.
Nar/Hinata. Way overused. Again, some are worth reading.
HP/MillicentBulstrode.
Here are my current stories:
Harry Potter and a Rip Through Time - posted chapter 3. I'm trying to think about where I'm gonna go with this story...It's probably gonna be discontinued, since not a lot of people seem to like it.
Harry Potter, the Forgotten Twin - posted chapter 4. chapter 5 hasn't started yet. My muse is gone!
Harry Potter and the Ladies of Black - posted chapter 4. I started chapter 5, but only have about 300 words down. My muse is gone!
Band of Nine - spotted HUGE plot hole in chapter 3, so i deleted it. itll be back up soon, i hope. if not soon, then itll be back up when i post the 4th chapter.
Ideas for some future stories:
Final Fantasy crossover involving Ramza Beouvle (FF Tactics War of the Lions), Marche (FF Tactics), and Vaan (FFXII). The story will take place in Marche's universe where the three start their own clan so that they can seek a way to return to their respective homes.
Naruto story where he is basically God, except he's evil. He's about to conquer Konoha when something happens and he is thrown back in time. He goes to reform Akatsuki, with some different and some new members this time and a different objective. I hope to model this kinda like LD 1449's Lost Soul, except instead of conquering the countries for peace, my Naruto is gonna do it for the sake of doing it. He's evil!
Another Harry Potter story, except this time, he meets God, who makes him her (yup God is a lady) personal reaper. His job? To retrieve Voldemort's soul of course. Chapter 1 of this story is about 30-40 percent done.
Four Maplestory stories each based on one of the jobs. Way of the Warrior will be about a spearman, Doctrine of the Archer will be about a bowman, Creed of the Thief will be about an assassin, and Arcane Archives of the Mage will be about an I/L mage.
A Star Wars kinda fic where Dark!Female!Revan (Old Republic) decides to rule the galaxy. She goes off to several worlds that won't be part of the Star Wars universe and some that are to recruit her generals. Dark!Naruto, Aizen (from Bleach), Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, Dark!Harry Potter, and some other people will be recruited. Haven't really thought much about who will be part of Revan's council of generals. Only one character from each series will be included.
If anyone wants to try to write their own stories using any of these ideas, go ahead, but please message me first so I can read it too.
I do not own any of the characters in my stories except for the ones you do not recognize.
#1 favorite fanfiction story:
Harry Potter: Knowledge is Power by SerpentSannin/Fettucini/Oblong. Harry/Fleur. It's an AU story where Lily is in a coma, James is dead, Neville is the arrogant BWL, and Harry is three years older than canon. He's a Ravenclaw, he's strong, he's an international Quidditch star, he's hot, and he's one mean sonuvabitch (my summary). The flirting and Harry-kicking-ass is aplenty in this story, and there are just so many parts where you can't stop laughing. Read it now!
Update: The man deleted all of his stories! Those were some of the best stories I've ever read, too! He decides to delete just cuz he quit writing. They were good stories that could be, and I quote another author "used for inspiration or just as a good read". And to stop people from bothering him, he even changed his penname to Oblong! Tis a shame that he quit.
#1 favorite betrayal story:
Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Wizards by Corwalch on HP Fandom. It's a bash against all the characters. No cheesy "Oh I forgive you" bull either.
#1 favorite comedy story:
A Black Comedy by nonjon. It's complete, it's over 100k words (it's over 200k words too!), it's hilarious, and it's original. What more can I say?
The story that got me into Honks:
Harry Potter and the Summer of Change by lorddwar. First Honks story I've ever read, and it was unbelievably awesome.
Recommended Oneshots:
Harry Potter the Lothario by Clell65619 at Writing Center III Fanfiction Site (you're gonna have to google that). The story deals with the aftermath after Harry beats Voldemort. He catches his girl with someone else, and he tries to get drunk at the pub to drown the images away, but the women around him won't leave him alone. This is hilarious. Deals with a lot of cheesy pick-up lines.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Murphy's Law: What can go wrong, will go wrong, and would do so in the worst way.
"Evil is entertaining. Good...has a way of boring people." -Lance Morrow
Random Things I'd Like to Say:
Avatar, however good of a show it is, is not an anime. Anime is Japanese cartoons, as manga is Japanese comics. In America, we call shows like Avatar, the Last Airbender, CARTOONS. We are not Japanese. A bunch of white people made the show (which is also the reason why Avatar is shown primarily on Nick).
Yaoi has fucking overrun fanfiction. For once, I'd like to go search some stories and not see a bunch of Draco/Harry (Harry Potter), Severus/Harry (Harry Potter), Sirius/Remus (Harry Potter), Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto), and Iruka/Kakashi (Naruto) fics.
If you can't spell or type worth shit, don't. Really. Just because English is not your first language does not give you an excuse to type like a first grader. If you want to type, use the fucking spellcheck function. If you don't have that, ask someone to proofread it for you. I'm sure there are tons of people that would gladly help.
(SUPER RANT) Naruto the manga went from an ok manga to a totally worthless piece of shit excuse of a comic. It should be renamed Sasuke, and it's all cuz you Sasuke fanboys/girls are like "OMG SASUKE HE'S SO COOL!" He sucks, he's emo, he should be subject to his brother's Tsukuyomi. I mean, he is SO overpowered! Don't get me wrong, I like overpowered, but not overpowered Sasuke.
Naruto (the character) is also pathetic. "OMG I HAVE TO RESCUE SASUKE! I LOVE HIM, HE'S MY FAMILY!" Oh yeah? Fuck you Naruto. He has the potential to become the best protagonist, but Kishimoto wastes it by making him some happy-go-lucky faggot who's weak as hell and is obsessed with Sasuke to the point of being called gay. His affection to Sakura? Also fucking stupid. She hates him. She beats him (like the villagers), she does NOT care for him at all, and yet he still worships her like she's a goddess.
He has the fucking NINE TAILS sealed in him!! You'd think that he'd be a little bit stronger, or that he'd be a little bit more serious (like Gaara, except he's just stoic). Yes, some people say he's not weak at all, cuz he can do Kage Bunshin (my rebuttal: any strong ninja can take them down like they're nothing), Rasengan (my rebuttal: that's only if he's good enough to hit 'em), and summoning (my rebuttal: OOH A FROG! HELP ME IT'S GONNA KILL ME! yeah...only Gamabunta is strong). Also, with the Kage Bunshin, we learn a LONG time ago that he can get lots of training because of it. At the very least, he can make 200 of them. 200 hours worth of training in one hour, and up to about recently, he could've trained for at least several hundred thousand hours. But no. He is STILL weak (compared to Sasuke).
Speaking of Sasuke, the entire Uchiha family gets a fucking doujutsu that can CONTROL A BIJUU! WOW! Way to go, Kishimoto! (END SUPER RANT)
Anyway, you want to refute anything I said here, email me, pm me, or whatever, and I'll respond. If any of my facts I wrote here are wrong, tell me, and I'll gladly correct it.
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