This is my universal disclaimer so it's the only one you're ever gonna see.

I DO NOT own the caracters/plot/books/anthing else of the already existing stories I use to write fanfics (meaning Harry Potter, Calvin and Hobbes, Gundam Wing/AC and/or Twilight are you insane?!).

The only thing I own (and sometimes not even then) is the plot of the fics and the words that are in the story itself (and those belong partway to whoever the fic is about).

Now...

Here's a bit about me.

I'm female. Black. Have 2 little sisters and my second language is french and I'm fluent in english. I am also a fan on poste-ons (as you will see) lol . (27661128)

My favorite shows/books/movies are (not in any specific order)

-TWILIGHT!! squeals. screams. grins madly

-Pirates of the Caribbean

-The devil wears Prada.

-HARRY POTTER!

-Anything disney

-ARTEMIS FOWL!!XD!

-LORD OF THE FLIES (by William Golding) (OMC!! It ROCKS! GO READ!)

- The Giver (Same as the above)

-Gundam Wing/AC (even thought I've never watched/read it lol )

really REALLY good fics/ authors/ communities you should DEFINITELY go check out!! Sadly, theyre not on FFNet.

1) http://www.geocities.com/dbrrk/hngfics/bal01.html

According to authorities around the world, there are five different kinds of health that human beings strive for: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and Social. A healthy, happy life results from keeping all these elements in balance.

A truly awesome Hikaru no Go fic. It's complete, long, well-written, has a plot, is yaoi (always a plus ;-)), is a HikaruxAkiraxHikaru fic, their relasionship is very realistic (everyone doesn't just miraculously accept that they're gay for each other... they have to fight for it!) Sai kinda-sorta-not really comes back (Hikaru gets closure at the least...), its original, it's has a wonderfully well-written lemon every chapter, there is actual ROMANCE (not just some senseless PwP) and did I mention it has a PLOT!?

2) http://www.hikagoyaoi.org/fanfic/wkl.html

I don't think I would know love if it wore a name badge and hit me with a mallet." Akira x Hikaru

3) http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/147130/510738#fic_c

When Shindo Hikaru was fourteen years old, Touya disappeared from the go world. And then his life fell apart. Years later, he finds Touya again, but going back to the world of professional go may just prove impossible...for more than one reason. Yakuza AU

4) http://www.mwotw.com/moon/main.html

GW/AC fic. Pairings are 5x2 3x4 Duo is your average, run of the mill, low-salary, part-time worker at a gaz station. The only special thing about him (beside his meter long brain and purple eyes) is that he's a Clairvoyant. Not a physic. A Clairvoyant. He can read anyones mind whenever he wants to, or so he thought. When mysterious new neighbors move in and all his attempts to read their mind results in massive nose bleds, Duo finds himself getting in over his head. Now he's tangled in a messy affair of love, death, magic, blood, werewolves and murders.

(Two parts to the Story. Part 1: Blood or chocolate, is COMPLETE. Part two: Blood in Siberia is W.I.P

5) http://raygunworks.net/singles/devil/1.html

The Devil made me do it by Isabella Kraft

Quatre Winner, also known as Satan, decides to do something particularily evil. In comes Trowa Barton. An innocent mortal priest with a pure soul. Quatre decides to play the ultimate prank on Heaven by having someone (namely Trowa) enter with a record for murder, rape, thievery... all those evil crimes, by playiong on Trowa's naiveté and Heaven's " if you didn't know it can't be used against you " clause but finds himself falling in love. What's the Devil to do to protect his endangered reputation while keeping his love/sex toy Trowa.

6) http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/56574

Trial and Error

A funny as hell Gundam Wing story with Heero/Duo, Trowa/Quatre and Wufei/Relena pairing. Let's just say, Heero is trying to find his comrades a significant other...

You know you have a bad story when...

- you have more than one grammar/spelling error in summary. This includes all caps lock / no capital letters. (my storie ist the bestest Bcause it has yaoi! TWO GUYS POKE EAHC OHTER WITH FUNNIE STUFT! READ MY TSORY!11!)

- you have six chapters in 2,000 words. It just doesn't work.

- you have 8 chapters in 1,000 words. (I've seen it before)

- the author includes the words "because I'm that evil" more than once a chapter. Hell even once in a story is too much. (Jonny Pimpin crashed into a wall that crumbled. A brick hit him in the face. Then another one hit him because I'm that evil.)

- the author switches between tenses every paragraph. (She is running to the store to buy food. She bought food because she was hungry).

- the author switches between views every paragraph. (She ran down the hall. The I took a left. then you ran into a dead end and turned around.)

- the summary includes words of encouragement for people to read it. (Jonny Pimpin becomes a rebel! Better than summary! Please read! Don't forget to review!)

- the summary includes words of discouragement. (Don't like, don't read. I don't want flamers!) Ever think that maybe there is a reason they flame?

- the summary includes the authors opinion of things. (Jonny Pimpin finally finds his true love in the form of Katie Rocker. Jonny/Katie. YAH! JONNY4EVA!1!)

- the story is seen as the final test for the decoding class. (Jonny desIded 2 hav fuhn bi goeen 2 teh movee thEatuhr. He mett Katie they'er.. Thei kieD wen teh lites went aut. HEHE!) (Fred "Well George, I believe the first line translates to Jonny has fun by being a bisexual." George "No chance, it means Jonny had fun moving to Theador's Bisexual Sister's, Katie's, hehe house." Fred "By god George, I think you got it! Now whats a hehe house?")

- the author asks readers if they should continue the story and the majority answers no. (Well this story isn't looking like I wanted it to. Should I continue it?) ( FunLuva "No, delete this." Hater2004 "the summary had potential, but after that... shrugs" HappiAngel "GO KILL URSELF! YOU SUCK AT LIFE AND UR STORY IS A REFLECTION OF THAT!")

- the author updates slower than me and yet only 1,000 words at a time. (I seriously don't know what to say to that.)

- when you say "I suck at summaries." People who put that always have a sucky story accompanying it. I have to see a good story with a "suck at summaries" addition to the summary.

- this!is!self!explanatory!dark!

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF FAN FICTION WRITERS By Twila Starla, which was taken off of Instant Coffee's profile, which was taken off of Mary Grayson's Little Robin's profile, paraphrased:

1. There is no limit to what can happen in life, just as the possibilities are endless in what can occur in a story.

2. Speaking on character - flaws rock! A character that can kick butt AND get their butt kicked is (Insert adjective here) It's a character everyone will love because they can relate to it. NEVER create a character that no one can relate to, at the least, on an emotional level. You WILL get flamed and I WON'T be horrible enough to not sign in, like many other flamers out there. (BTW - if flamers can't sign in and state their opinion, chances are they're too scared of your retaliation and weren't worth listening to.)

3. Stand out. Why take an idea already formed when you have the power to create a situation not yet inferred? Take advantage of the possibilities your mind can produce, and make something out of it.

4. Detail is the reader's way of seeing what you wish to depict. Why express what your characters are feeling with _ and @_ etc.? There is no harm in spoon feeding your audience with imagery.

5. Plagiarism does not make you a better writer. It makes you an imbecile for discrediting another person's work, and a writer whose passion is not to be taken seriously any longer.

6. Never be afraid to start over! There are many instances in which something will not work right the first time. If so, why keep things that way? After all, if you do not like what you wrote, yet insist on keeping things so, chances are your readers will not like what you wrote, as well, and may question your ability and talent as an author.

7. Smugness does NOT work in the writing field. Take the initiative to review another story that may interest you, and chances are, you will be repaid just the same. ALL stories are review-worthy.

8. The summaries and titles of a story are just as important as the story itself. It is the reader's first impression of what they are about to read. Often I find myself reading summaries and then reading the story to find it enchanting, and worthy of my favourites' list.

9. Do not write for reviews, for if you do not write for the enjoyment and experience of writing, then you are writing for a lost cause.

10. Lastly: Writing is an art; treat it as such. There is no shortcut to producing the best type of art imaginable. There is only producing the best type of art imaginable with one's heart, soul, and imagination.

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

Views/Beliefs.

I pitied him in his blindness but can I boast, "I see?" Perhaps there walks a spirit close by, who pities me.”

Harry Kemp

"Never argue with an idiot, for they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

~Unknown

THE ONLY GOOD IS KNOWLEDGE AND THE ONLY EVIL IS IGNORANCE.

-Socrates

History is written by the winners. (The is not right side or wrong side in war, there's only whos's left)

-I don't know

The reason why life sucks so much is beause there must be a balance of hapiness and sadness. If everyone had a perfect life, there would be one person out there to whom all the shit happens. As that person wouldn't be willing to live past the age of 5, we all get a bit of the pain so everything works out but when things go wrong we only see the bad parts of our life and the good parts are totally ignored!

-Me

The soul is like a glass prism. With it, you can draw anything who's on your mind on a canvas. If you take away the prism, there is no color and as such, the canvas is useless.

-Me. (I thought of this last night (June 11th 2008))

Love isn't wild and thrilling and dangerous. You don't notice when it happens. You just realise one day that the other person is the most beautiful being in the world (even all their disfigurements look perfect) and that there is nowhere else you'd rather be then spending time with them. It's a myriad of pinks and golds and soft summer sunsets on a canvas of Time.

-Me. (Once more, last night. I had lots of inspiration. lol )

I believe that being an eviromentalist will not save the world. Let's face it... There aren't enough people recycling to save the Earth. The only way recycling will help is by soothing my conscience and giving me the right to say that I tried when the world crumbles to dust around us.

-My pessimistic thoughts

An optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears that THIS IS TRUE.

- James Cabbel

Questions:

Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy, and if so how would you treat them?

Copied this and made my own version from some else’s profile. It amuses me :)

List twelve of your characters from your fandom, in no particular order.

1.Voldemort 2.Coleen lamb 3.Harry Potter 4.Ron Weasly

5.Hermione Granger 6.Fred Weasly 7.Patroculus Nott 8.Scorpius Malfoy

9.Aunt Petuna 10.Miss Figg 11.Stan Shunpike 12.The Sorting Hat

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Fred/Stan No I haven't... I don't really see how it could happen but it might be interesting.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Not realloy. I love redheads but Ron's overall attitude is a major turn-off >.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

The Sorting Hat got Scorpius Malfoy pregant...? WTF! O_o That's... not possible. Even for wiizards. Ad now I'm disturbed.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yes actually. Several really good ones i.e An Aunt's Love

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

I suppose. You don't really see Collen Lamb a lot so it's up to the author to imagine her personnality (besides the fact that she's shy) so I guess it's possible for her to be with Fred.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Hermione/Petunia Dursley VS Hermione/Miss Figg Both are distrbing to the extreme but I guess I'd pick HErmione with aunt Petunia cuz you know, Petunia's not like 80...

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Well... We don't really know PAtroculus Nott so possible reactions are: 1. WTF!! O_O 2. YES! YOU GO GIRL! or 3. DAMN! I KNEW we should have let up on the crucios a bit.

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Harry has never been shown love by the Dursleys so when he goes to be babysat by Miss Figg for the first time, he cannot help but pledge his undying love to her and she, seduced by his childish innocence, tries her best, but fails to subdue the growing attraction she feels for the green-eyed boy. lol (Ewwww)

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

If there is I havn't seen it yet... blinks Bu compared to some of the stuff I've crossed on FFNet, I wouldn't be shocked.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Ascending Darkness (Sorting Hat sees into a tortures/abused Patroculus Nott's mind and sees his drab and dark future as a Deatheater before placing him in Slytherin.)

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

"I Feel Pretty" I don't know... lol. We don't really know anything about him do we?

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Rape fic, innapropriate use of inanimate (sentient) objects

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Ummm. 10 minutes ago?

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

Voldemort and Patroculus Nott are in a happy relashionship until Nott runs off with Ron weasly. Voldemort, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Stan Shunpike and a brief unhappy affair with the Sorting Hat then follows the wise advice of Hermione Granger and finds true love with HARRY POTTER!?

Now I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed because a) read the above summary and tell me what you think... or b) It actually makes SENSE!? Kinda... You'd have to use an aging postion, a time-turner, a few illegal spells cough imperiuscough and have such add in such an awesome orgasm you'd forget the Sorting Hat is NOT as wash-cloth but it could work... maybe...

Quotes:

God gives man instincts,
And then, I swear, for his own amusement,
He sets the rules in opposition.
It’s the goof of all time:
Look, but don't touch,
Touch, but don't taste,
Taste, but don't swallow,
And while you're jumping from one foot to the next,
What's he doing?
Laughing his sick, fucking arse off!"

The Devil (Al Pacino) - The Devil's Advocate

So, let me get this straight," Ron scratched his head and narrowed his eyes at Harry, whom was seated in the armchair across from himself and Hermione. "You’re a seer, but you didn't get discovered early on because your parents were in hiding, you gave that reading on me earlier on complete accident and it may not even happen, you speak with the Goddess of Chaos and Destruction regularly, and no one can read your mind because a goddess gave you a special power I reckon no one has ever heard of?"

"Sounds about right, yeah." Harry winced and looked down at his hands. There was a silence for a moment and he could feel his friends’ eyes burrowing into him.

"Well, as long as it wasn't something unusual." said Hermione.

"Yeah," joined in Ron, "we'd have been worried if it was something weird."

Chaos: Destruction: My work here is done by: TheBonnie

If you can't beat them, confuse them then run away.

-Me

"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!"

Adrienne, quoting MTV.

Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.
Capt. Jack Sparrow: If there aren't any survivors, then where do all the stories come from?

Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.

"No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the childrens menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it"
Artemis Fowl II

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."

~Robin Tyler

"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
Colonel David M. Shoup - (Tarawa) - 21st November 1943

"Oops. My sword slipped."

Hiei, destroying the Chapter Black video.

"YUSUKE YOU IDIOT! So tough! For freakin' BAD-Ass... AND YOU DIE IN TRAFFIC! That's a wimps death! I didn't raise no WIMP! moron."

Yusuke's caring mother, Atsuko.

"I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" cowers behind Chichi

Goku, DBZ

"We all have sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others."

-François, duc de La Rochefoucauld

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

--Fear of Flying

Fiction reveals the truth that reality distorts

--anonymous

Want. Take. Have

--Faith

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my children may have peace,"

George Washington.

"There's no such thing as a stupid question. (someone asks question) I stand corrected."

"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"

"No, I don't have a gambling problem. I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem."

Earl (My Name is Earl)

“They’re there for us to try and overcome.
If we bow to our flaws, then we are overcome.”

~Dreaming-of-A-Nightmare's best friend, Laur-Bear (said at 1:00 a.m. on Friday, August 15th)

There's much more. There's all that goes beyond- all that is Elsewhere- and all that goes back, and back, and back.- Lois Lowry (the Giver)

-I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?

-Go fetch a space heater. I'm not a St. Bernard.

-Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Eclipse p. 489.

-You know Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural ennemies and that you're trying to steal away the reason for my existance, I might actually like you.

-Maybe... if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck the life out of the girl that I love... well, no, not even then.

Edward Cullen and Jacob Black. Eclipse p.503.

"I made the cowardly lion look like the terminator."

-Twilight

"How..." he cleared his throat as he realised it had came out as a whimper, “How painful?"

"Two words," Naruto growled, freeing his legs from the blanket, "Painful."

Sasuke’s eyes sought the door as she walked closer.

"And the other one?"

Her mouth suddenly appeared right next to his ear, the last word only breathed.

"Run."

"We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse. ~LIFE IS THE MOST DANGEROUS THING ON EARTH, NO ONE HAS SURVIVED~" - I don't remember where I found this.

"Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

-I don't know

" The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

- Robert Bloch (I agree! Evil little sisters mumbles)

"Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its pupils."

-Louis Hector Berlioz

(Fiona) - If God had wanted Man to fly, he would have given us feathers.

(Mark) - If God had wanted Man to go on water, he would have given us fins and a tail.

Touching Wild Horses

Before you critizise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critisize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes. ~Frieda Norris

Fallen leaves can never return to where they came from. That's why they're so beautiful. ~Anonymous

It is a scientifically proven fact that love comes from the same part of the brain as hunger and thirst. It is also a well known fact that most of the worlds population is starving. ~Anonymous

The questions we may never answer or avoid may be the very reason we live - to prove that fate is what we make of it, to prove that the end is not near until we decide not to continue. ~Anonymous

It matters little how we die, so long as we die better men than we imagined we could be - and no worse than we feared. ~Drago Museveni

I don't lie. I carefully ommit and selection the truth.

-Me

There may be plenty of fish in the sea, Wufei, but they are not all created equal. That’s why men risk their lives to fish Alaskan Salmon, and Tuna comes in a can.

-Trowa Barton, Carpe Diem (a fic from Dentelle-noir)

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.
George W. Bush

Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
-- Walter Walker (quoted in Newspapers, 1981)

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle

I dropped the shield, ran to the door and gave the secret, prearranged signal for Loor to do her thing.

"Open the damn door!" I yelled as loud as I could. How's that for a secret signal.

Bobby, Pendragon;TMoD

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

-- Mae West

Sometimes I feel like the whole world's against me. Then I remember that that isn't true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

"So in the end, my girlfriend became my archenemy, my archenemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. But hey, that's high school." ~Will Stronghold from Sky High

Gaara secretly believed that Shukaku was a closet romantic. ~Behind the Sun by QueenTigris

"There's a fine line between insomnia and insanity." ~CollaneR

“RikuyougotmepregnantandnowI’mgoingtohaveababyandit’syourfaultsotakeresponsibility!” ~ 9-year-old Sora to Riku after Selphie told him where babies come from (which she said was when people 'kiss and stuff' )

“It was an idiotic joke,” Gaara told Naruto bitterly. “It came from me. Did you really expect it to be genius?” Naruto asked with a smile. ~ A Blessing by thattreevesgirl

"One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject." ~Unknown

"Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips." ~Unknown, but that's genius as hell. I have got to use that sometime!

“Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me, and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you, too.” ~Will Smith, The Fresh Price of Bel-Air

Pudding: "Wh-who are you?" Kisshu: "I am... an angel." Pudding: "That's a lie! Angels don't have evil faces like that!" Kisshu: " =.= " ~Tokyo Mew Mew (episode 7)

Jack: "...Why is the rum gone?" Elizabeth: "One: it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. And two: that signal is over a thousand feet high; the entire Royal Navy is out looking for me; do you really think there is even the slightest chance they won't see it?!" Jack: "Yes, but why is the rum gone?" ~Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

“Keh! I’m not saying she’s a bad Kage,” Naruto shot defensively, “She’s just a psycho nutter.” ~Naruto talking about Tsunade in Optimism by torture-insanity

“You are going to die a virgin!” ~Shukaku to Gaara in Trapped in Closet: No ramen, believe it! by Flyflew

When he said 'hot,' of course, he didn't mean hot like 'oh, these noodles sure are hot.' Or even 'damn, it sure is hot today.' No, he meant hot like 'wishing the right amount of chakra could destroy the sun because it's melting off my face and I think I'm going to die a very dry and lonely death.' ~Desert Storm by pellaz

"Hear my faith, I shall show eternal loyalty towards your soul." ~Forgot, sorry. But I love that quote

"Call me that one more time... and I won’t hesitate to scrape out your insides with a rusty soup spoon." ~Naruto to Sasuke referring to the nickname 'dobe' in Never Bet Against A Lucky Bastard by Queen Tigris

“Naruto,” Sasuke said after a bit. “I know you’re not gay. What I do know, however, is how extremely easy it is to mess with you.” ~Reasonable Madness by Silentz

'A small chuckle broke out, before Sasuke restrained himself. “That, my friend, was a serious burn. Even I felt the heat.” ' ~Reasonable Madness by Silentz

"Gaara...its snow. I swear it won't hurt you." ~Naruto from Snow Day by cneko2

Gaara: "...I'm teaching her how to write 'ai' tomorrow if it kills me." Naruto: "Huh? Why?" Gaara: "Hearts," he said with conviction, "are not manly." ~from Snow Day by cneko2

Then Gaara blushed. ‘HELL MUST HAVE FROZE!!’ ~Great Kazekage! by xxtaragonxx

'Breathing was overrated, after all. ' ~For the love of the Hat! by Konpeitou

'Internal dilemma: to move or not to move? Lose the happy hugging feeling or lose all feeling in his legs? Huh…' ~For the love of the Hat! by Konpeitou'

“I’m so glad you’ve been paying attention, Axel.” Zexion said in monotone. “Well, you know, I always pa-- OMG IT’S SOMETHING SHINY!” Axel ran off quickly in a different direction.' ~Out of Context by YourConscience813

“Yes. Bastardly things. Like, you know, practicing his glare, growling, scaring small children, stealing Christmas from the Whos, the usual.” ~Naruto explaining Sasuke's behavior to Sakura in Baby Blues by blizzie8826

"Are you insane?!" "Only on days that end with 'y'." ~Unknown, but that's funny as hell for obvious reasons

"I was in the park, staring and wondering why the Frisbees were getting bigger. Then, it hit me." ~Unknown, but i've seen it on a t-shirt

"I dream in darkness, I sleep to die. Erase the silence, erase my life. Our burning ashes, blacken the day. A world of nothingness, blow me alway." ~i forget, sorry...

"Get inside my mouth if you want to live." ~that one pellucan from Finding Nemo...

"Cripes, Ichigo, if you want another kiss just ask." ~Kisshu to Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew

"If the other side is greener... fertilize." ~Uknown

"I have very little patience and I can't hardly wait to get some more!" ~Uknown

"If yaoi is a sin, then won't hell be one mass orgy?" ~Unknown

"Stupid is as stupid does." ~Forrest Gump

"...The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?" ~Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender (season 3, episode 1: The Awakening)

"I Became Insane with Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity." ~Edgar Allan Poe

"Somehow, I feel confused about eating myself." ~Naruto (episode 159)

"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid." ~Jack Sparrow, POTC 1 (and pretty much anything else he says...)

"We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage.' I believe the technical term is 'being an ass.'" ~Shigure from Fruits Basket

(Claire)- Did you know that Vanessa went to her friend's house and got drunk?

(Theo)- So she finally gave into the pressure.

(Claire)- What pressure?

(Theo)- By seing you, mom and dad, and everything you've fufilled, everyone expects us to do better. Since there is no better, we can only do worse.

-The Cosby show.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

-- Unknown

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
--Lily Tomlin

You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.
~Albert Camus, "The Fall"

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
- Unknown

You'd think getting chopped up into a million pieces and cast into the darkest part of the Underworld would give him a subtle clue that nobody wanted him around. But no.

-Percy Jackson (The Sea of Monsters)

(Percy)- Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death.

(Hermes)- I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.

-Percy Jackson and Hermes God of Thieves

(The Sea of Monsters)

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams

-Dr. Seuss

Do or do not. There is no 'try'.

-Yoda

If at first you don't succed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you do succed, try not to look too astonished.

Be yourself-everybody else is taken.

-Oscar Wilde

How sweet of you to offer your opinion. Now watch as I totally disregard it.

-House, Pills, shots and a broken piano (House MD fic)

I'm a dishonest man. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for.
-Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

I know as much of games as hugs and puppies, and care for them even less.
-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho

I'm always in shit, it's just the depth that varies.

-Unknown

If something can go wrong then it will do so, usually in the worst way possible. If nothing can go wrong, it will anyways. If everything seems to be going right, then you are obviously overlooking something.

-Murphy's Law

He resisted asking the question for as long as he could, knowing it wasn't even in the same country as politically correct, but in the end it popped out under its own volition. "How did you die?"

Duo Maxwell (Tomb of Memory by hoshi-tachi)(wich STILL ISN'T UPDATED!! GRR!)

"I don't know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody."

-Bill Cosby

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

-Leo C. Rosten

"People always say life's not fair. But think of how much worse it would be if life was fair, and all the awful things that happend to us happend because we actualy deserve them. I for one take great comfort in the completly impersonal hostility of the universe..."

-Rohanelf

"A photogragh is my way of saying that you were important enough that I paused my world to stop and watch."

- Jodi Picoult

"Those who believe in telekenisis, raise my hand."

-I don't know

"You know you need to get some sleep when the sheep you're counting are running into the fence."

-Duo Maxwell (?)

"Don't make me come down there!"

-God

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

-Harry S Truman

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecst and economists?

-Kelvin Throop

Speak the truth but leave immediately after.

-Slovian Proverb.

My parents kept aking how school was. It's like saying, '' How was that drive-by shooting?'' You don't care how it was, you're lucky to have gotten out alive!

-Unknown

"When they took the Fourth Amendment, I was silent because I don’t deal drugs. When they took the Sixth Amendment, I kept quiet because I know I’m innocent. When they took the Second Amendment, I said nothing because I don’t own a gun. Now they’ve come for the First Amendment, and I can’t say anything at all."

-Tim Freeman (reminds me of a child's story book I read with the same moral)

If you can't change it, don't worry about it. If you can change it, then just fix it.

-Unknown

Be good, and if you can't be good, be good at it."

-I. Sally Wilde, AKA- Mom. 2007, Juneish.

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."

-Elayne Boosler

"It's the Dark that makes the Light seem brighter."

--Elizabeth Dobbs: 5ive Girls (and the Light that makes the Dark seem darker)

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault."

--Henry Kissinger

"..we may experience some slight turbulence, and then- explode."

Mal Reynolds:Serenity

"Though we adore them individually, as a group we agree that they're rather stupid."

Mary Poppins

"Not all who wander are lost."

J.R.R. Tolkein

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not just because of the people who are evil, but because of the people that don't do anything about it."

Albert Einstein

"I reject your reality, and substitute my own."

Adam Savage:Mythbusters.

"'Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?" Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure. "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'"

-Albus Dumbledore and Harry page 723, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'.

"The darkest hour is just before the dawn."

Proverb

"You mock me because I am different. I mock you because you are all the same."

--anon.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but rising every time we fall."

--anon.

"I'm not racist, I hate everyone."

Avery Clark, Parkside H.S., room 105, Nov. 19, 2007.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock."

Will Rogers.

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."

- Albert Schweitzer.

A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. (Here here!)

-Adlai Stevenson

I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.

-Voltaire

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die."

-Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

If the whole world depends on today's youth, I can't see the world lasting another 100 years. (lol. That sounds like somehing my dad would say)

-Socrates

"Don't worry. I can see them, too. You're just as sane as I am."

-Luna "Loony" Lovegood, Harry Potter (OotP Film)

I had become one with the plumbing. (The context makes it super-funny)

-Percy Jackson and the Olympians (LT)

You know. Prince Charming isn't all that great. He screwed with Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Belle, The Little Mermaid and countless others. Do you think he's a pimp? (LOL )

-Duo Maxwell (a fanfic I read)

The world has to suck otherwise we would all fall off.

-Lymilate Panda

High heels are a man's invention to prevent women from running away.

-I don't know

(My amazing friend-I'm such a suck up-Pearledtears told it to me GO READ HER FIC (Electricity) IT'S AMAZING and on my favs lol XD)

-Which pants do you think I should wear to go hunting?

you-are-so-stupid look

-Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along in the forest and you get a little thirsty so you put your little deer lips to a brook to drink some water... then BAM! smacks forehead A fucking ball rips your fucking head off and you're brain's lying in little bloody pieces on the ground! Do you really care about the pants on the guy that fucking killed you!?

- 0_0

-Conversation between Vinny and Lisa in ''My Cousin Vinny'' (super funny... Go watch.)

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

- HL Mencken

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.

- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

This is the crack team that foils my every plot! I am deeply shamed.
--Spike (Something Blue; Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
--Anonymous

Once I had a handle on life; then it broke
--My Science teacher’s whiteboard

Hi….Welcome……Please don't kill me.
--Marshall to Sark, Alias

So he's a humanitarian bomber.
--Weiss, Alias

Mr. Freeman: Why not spend that time on art: painting, sculpting, charcoal, pastel, oils? Are words or numbers more important than images? Does algebra move you to tears? (Hands raise, thinking he wants answers.)
--Speak

Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
--Patsy Clairmont

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I failed math, history and english. The good news is that I'm out of bad news.

--Zack, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Lang

'Don't laugh in the face of death. It won't appreciate your sense of humor.'
--Between Dreams and Reality (Fanfiction); Roy Mustang

Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head.
--Unknown

"Your halo's falling down."
--Fanfic (Forgotten the Name; Sorry!) Uzumaki Naruto to Hyuuga Neji

"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die."
--Isaac Asimov (So very, very true...)

I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than of 100 lions led by a sheep.
--Talleyrand

Always plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
--Richard C.Cushing

He was so narrow-minded that he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
--Unknown

People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they are exactly like the old ones.
--Charles F. Kettering

"Luck is my middle name," Rincewind indisctincly. "Mind you my first name is Bad."
--Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the pouring rain.
--Unknown

Books are always better than real, live boyfriends any day of the week. They don't talk back and they're always there for you. You can have as many of them as you want and they won't complain.
--Unknown

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
--Oscar Wilde

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
--Abraham Lincoln (With friends like him, who needs enemies?)

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
--George S. Patton

" Veni Vidi Vici"

~Caesar

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later. "

~ Mitch Hedberg

"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."

~Robert Heinlein

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

~Albert Einstein

Magic: Doing the same thing over and over again and obtaining different results.

~Me (Cristalake)

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

~Hunter S. Thompson

"I really don't trust a sane person."

~Lyle Alzado

"...it takes quite a lot of good deeds to make people love you. But it only takes one lousy error for them to hate you." -authoress-next-door

"Because she'd rather you become one of the eternal damned than get married."

-edward cullen, new moon

"...why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? ... ... because it feels so good when I stop."

-meredith grey, grey's anatomy

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?"

~ Harry Shearer

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."

~John Lehman

... fiction never exceeds the reach of the writer’s courage.

- Dorothy Allison

... in nine out of ten cases the original wish to write is the wish to make oneself felt. The non-essential writer never gets past that wish.

- Elizabeth Bowen

... no writing is a waste of time,—no creative work where the feelings, the imagination, the intelligence must work.

- Brenda Ueland

... writing is not a performance but a generosity.

- Brenda Ueland

A good writer does not receive anywhere near the number of poison-pen letters that is commonly assumed. Among a hundred jackasses there are not ten who will admit to being jackasses, and at most one who will put it in writing.

- Karl Kraus

A writer is unfair to himself when he is unable to be hard on himself.

- Marianne Moore

A writer never reads his work. For him, it is the unreadable, a secret, and he cannot remain face to face with it. A secret, because he is separated from it. -

Maurice Blanchot

And if nobody reads me, shall I have wasted my time, when I have beguiled so many idle hours with such pleasant and profitable reflections?

- Michel de Montaigne

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

- Mark Twain

All our lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. -Ambrose Bierce

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. -Walt Whitman

Acting provides the fulfillment of never being fulfilled. You're never as good as you'd like to be. So there's always something to hope for. -Washington Irving

Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic.

- Jean Sibelius

"What a wonderful thing it is to do nothing at all, and after having done so, to rest."

"This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but a wimper"

Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism does he write 'I had a fun time'? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing.

- Jean Kerr

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms; the great devotions; and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

- Franklin Roosevelt

Do not put statements in the negative form. And don't start sentences with a conjunction. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

- William Safire

My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.

- Elmore Leonard

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

- xterm

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits" (Albert Einstein)

"We guarantee that your hair will be 4x thicker in just 15 seconds, and when you come for your money back guarantee, we're gone just like your hair!"

"All heros are suicidal."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just energetically handicapped. "

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, it's because I hate plants." (found this one on a profile here. Sorry for stealing :P )

"Kinda hard not to be a smartass when you're talking to dumbasses all the time."

"Big Bang Theory: In the beginning there was nothing... which exploded."

"Atheism: The belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing and then nothing magically exploded for no reason, creating everything and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason what so ever into self-replicating bits which turned into dinosaurs. Makes perfect sense."

"Cancer: nature's way of telling people to stop screwing with radiation."

If this is what normal people had to deal with everyday, he'd take being a murdering pyschopath anytime.

Dealing with love was a pain in the ass.

-Gaara, The Great Romantic by: MogTheGnome

Silence is Golden, duct-tape is Silver

"I'm not Crazy. I'm psycotic. There's a difference."

"when you're blue, a good friend will ask what's wrong. A true friend will try to dislodge what's chocking you."

"When you get thrown in jail, a good friend will come bail you out. A true friend will be in there with you going "Damn, we f--d up."

"A good friend will help you up when you fall. A true friend will laugh at you and then trip you again."

"A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them."

"There's nothing that can't be fixed with: ducttape, chocolate, or by running it over."

"My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time. (and if all else fails... Blow it up!)"

I'm awesome. Agree or die.

"You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name."

"An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences"

"Life isn't passing me by. It's trying to run me over."

good jokes:

"your mum is so fat that when God said 'let there be light' she had to move"

"One day, little Johny was out with his mum when he asked 'mum, is God male or female?' she replied, 'I suppose God's both dear.' a bit later he asked 'mum, is got black or white?' again she replied 'God's both dear.' Johny was now confused but he came back a bit later and asked 'mum, is God gay or straight?' his mum was now the one to be confused before answering 'well... I suppose God's both dear.' Little Johny's face lights up before he asks 'Mum, is God Michael Jackson?"

If you get up one more time than you fall,
you will make it through.

--Chinese Proverb

God is cruel – sometimes he makes you live.

--King

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN 2008 WHEN...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing

the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

POEMS!

Forgive these broken wings

That cannot reach the sky.

I wanted to take you there

But I cannot fly so,

Soar, soar my love,

To the feartest reaches of paradise

And forgive these broken wings

That demand I say good-bye.

- Sub Rosa by Kayura Sanada (pen-name on FFNet)

Some say the world will end in fire, others say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favour fire.

But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate

To say that of destructive ice is also great and would suffice.

-Fire and Ice by Robert Frost

Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank in grief.

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay.

-Nothing gold can stay by Robert Frost

Only when the last river will be poisoned,

Only when the last fish will be dead,

Only when the last tree will be cut down,

Only then will we know that money cannot be eaten.

-I don't know.

Give me a humble heart that I may know,
That things worthwhile are not just things that show.
For though efficiency and skill may mean much,
The greatest gift of all is Human Touch.

-A Nurse's Prayer, by: Alwin Law

There are ideas ringing in my mind

Yet there are no words to make them materialize

I want to make them understand

To make them see my heart

The picturesque scene portrayed in the theatre of my mind

Is a play that only I could see

Because the curtains are closed

The words are foreign

Only I could understand

The theatre in my mind.

The Script Writer- Unknown

Paste-ons:

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Celyna, ShadowShapeshifterAndHerCat, Sanoon, Lord Cargyle, Silverlycan, FamilyRose, Kirallie,Cristalake,

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.

97 percent of teens would die if Abercrombie, Aeropostale, Hollister, Victoria's Secret, and American Eagle said it wasn't cool to breath. If you're the 3 percent that would go into hysteric fits of laughter, copy and paste this to your profile. (I probably wouldn't even know about it)

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If when people call you a bitch you think 'a bitch is a dog, a dog is an animal, animals are natural, natural things are from nature, nature is like trees, trees are like flowers, flowers are pretty so you just called me pretty, thanks!' copy this into your profile.

If you think all the good ones are either married, gay, or fictional creatures coughEdwardcough, copy and paste this to your profile.

If Bella leaves Edward in Breaking Dawn, then I'm literally going to hurt something. No offense to all you Jacob loving fans. I mean, I like Jacob to. He's a great character, but Edward and Bella are meant to be!

I'm sort of afraid for the twilight movie. I swear, if any of them have even the slightest hint of a fang, I'm going to punch my tv

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball.

I'm sort of afraid for the twilight movie. I swear, if any of them have even the slightest hint of a fang, I'm going to punch my tv

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your pro

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If someone tells you they know someone named Edward you think "Vampire" C&P

If you think that all other vampire stories are 'fakes' after you've read Twilight C&P

If you ever collapsed with laughter and couldnt get back up C&P

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! It's actually important.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans..

If you support gay marriage and want to show it, paste this into your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

RE-POST THIS IF YOU THINK HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG! pLEASE DO YOUR PART TO END IT...

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress, lawyer or politician
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK/GOTH, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
I'm a CANADIAN, so I MUST live in an igloo.

Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add to your profile to help get rid of it!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

If you've ever forgotten your own name while introducing yourself copy and paste this into your profile.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

Repost this if you are against child abuse

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! Poor egsnlinh taeerchs. Teher geos tier lfie's wrok.

If you could read that put it in your profile

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

To Every Guy:

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours
just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy
even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...
i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image
If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."

We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scatch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy.Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school.My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.

.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile. (we talk in code. no one knows what we're saying. sometimes I do this with my siblings instead, and then even my freinds don't get it. XDD)

Congratulations on making it to the bottom of my page, wasn't that a lot of scrolling? Here, have a cookie!

(If you actually read all of that, PM/IM me and I'll send you a cake!)

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.