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| Phish Tacko |
Author has written 23 stories for Ring/Ringu, X-overs, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Twilight, Back to the Future, Carrie, Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, 2010, Sleepy Hollow, Secret Window, and Ghost Ship. Real name: Just call me Tatertard. Basic personality: An angry black woman trapped in the body of a nerdy white girl. Favorite movies A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Back to the Future Trilogy, Twilight saga, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, The Hangover, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit, Pitch Perfect, Anchorman Favorite books A Series Of Unfortunate Events (Lemony Snicket), Poseur (Rachel Maude), Speak; Fever 1793; Catalyst; (Laurie Halse Anderson), Twilight series (Stephenie Meyer), Carrie; Everything's Eventual; Skeleton Crew; Misery; Cujo (Stephen King), Romeo and Juliet (William Shakespeare), Audrey, Wait! (Robin Benway), Maggie Quinn vs Evil (Rosemary Clemente Moore), Oh My Goth (Gena Showalter) Quotes "Silence is golden, but ductape is silver."-unknown "Whoever said nothing was impossible has never tried to slam a revolving door." -unknown "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."-unknown "I didn't LOSE my marbles, exactly...I just sold 'em on Ebay."-unknown "Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?" Klaus Baudelaire "I let my mind wander, but it never came back."-unknown "Lost in thought. Send a search party."- T-shirt I saw somewhere "Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it."-unknown "Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out on its own." -unknown "You're unique, just like everyone else."-unknown "Boys are like books. The good ones are taken, and all the bad ones are full of nonsense."-Me "Either the curtains go or I go!"-Oscar Wilde "Being normal is for freaks."-unknown "I just need a toxic substance... L.A. tap water will do just fine."- Jim Carrey "I've just seen 3 people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's some homeless guy outside my phone booth who wants his BEDROOM slippers!"- Brenda (Adventures in Babysitting) "Natural blonde; Please speak slowly." -T shirt "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then let everyone else wonder how you did it." -unknown "Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." -Doc "I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed." -James Thurber "He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." -Homer Simpson "Life goes pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller "All things are poisonous, yet there is nothing that is poisonous. It's only the dose that makes a thing poisonous." -Paraclesus "What girls don't seem to know: If a guy acts like he hates you, chances are he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: If a girl acts like she hates you, chances are she hates you." -Me "Our journey through time has taken a most excellent turn!" -Bill and Ted, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure "I don't obsess! I think intensely." -unknown "You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside." -unknown "Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up." -unknown "Go ahead and talk about me behind my back, but I have advice for you. Click your heels together and say: 'I NEED A LIFE!'" -unknown "Love is a battlefield. Have a weapon ready." -Me "I can do anything I want. I can kill horses. I can make pictures with my mind. I can clog the toilet with left over turkey." -Samara Morgan in Idiotic Deeds (HILARIOUS FIC!) "I'm the brightest crayon on the tree!!" -Jasper Hale in Vampire Cola "Unless life hands you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck." -unknown "Life sucks, and then you die." -unknown "This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?" -Colette, The Slippery Slope "These violent delights have violent ends. And, in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume." -Friar Lawrence, Romeo and Juliet, act 2, scene 6, lines 9-11 "In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress." -John Adams "Nemo me impune lacessit!" -Edgar Allen Poe, Cask of Amontillado (Translation: "Nobody provokes me without impunity!") "You shall always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" -Jack Sparrow "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" -Gandalf the Gray "Po-ta-toes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew." -Samwise Gamgee Copy these into your profile if they apply to you. If you know someone (or several someones) who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. Drugs are bad news. Spread the word. Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within. You can't understand the Bible without the Holy Spirit. Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust? Jesus is the one I serve. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the Word... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today... Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says, "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..." Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer. Even if you can't see him, God is there! If you believe in God, put this in your profile! You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with Roxas (KH 2) that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of French vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the French Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual ipod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why you're wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you respond to that little voice in the back of your head. Crazy is when you have a conversation with an inanimate object. Crazy is when you have dreams of ballet shoes taking over the world and possessed sheep attacking you. Crazy is walking into big, yard-thick poles. Crazy is going everywhere in costume. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and throw those lemons back in the face of the person who gave them to you until you get the oranges you originally asked for!! Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already. Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity. Few women admit their age; fewer men act it. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. Copy this into your profile if you're a procrastination addict! I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATESTEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ITALICIZE THE ONES YOU ARE! If you are annoyed by people who misinterpret innocent statements in your profile to mean that you are making fun of them, so they go try to be martyrs by posting their annoyance at you in review form to one of your stories when nobody but them seems to have an issue with it, copy this and put it in your profile. If you hate racism, copy this into your profile. My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground. I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! Excuse me... have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. But if the doctor is Carlisle Cullen, screw the fruit! Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over. Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! If you can read/speak more than one language (not necessarily fluently), copy this into your profile. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist...) One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Be optimistic. All the people you hate are eventually going to die. Guys don't fall for me. I just trip them. Don’t follow me, I’m lost too. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff. It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER. So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun. All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said. Love your enemies! It really pisses them off. I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I? Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. No, I won't go to hell! Satan has a restraining order against me. I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there. Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Chuck Norris provoked the Volturi- AND LIVED!! Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin? Life was so simple when boys had cooties. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Chuck Norris believes in God. About my fics My stories will be weird and abstract. Get an appreciation for abstract art before you read them. Do not ask me to bash things in my writing if it is a requested fic. Constructive criticism of my fics is fine, but as long as it's civilized. Think before you review. As for flames, well... All I have to say is this: Bring it on. Let's see how theatrical you can get. Any questions? Glad we understand each other. | |||||||
1. A friend to the friendless » reviewsTwins Anthony and Alice have moved from Manchester, England to Chamberlain, Maine with their family, coincidentally next door to Carrie White. May turn into Carrie/OC.Carrie - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,315 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 10-24-12 - Published: 8-1-102. Close Encounter » reviewsAnd Caius thought things couldn't get any worse. Obviously, he was wrong. Rated for profanity, rape, and mpreg. Co-written with Shebelle.Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,706 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-21-12 - Published: 2-10-11 - Caius & Athenodora3. Why they started calling me Katniss Everdeen reviewsA routine trip to Chik-Fil-A takes a hilarious turn.Secret Window - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 467 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-11-12 - Complete4. Into the Darkness » reviewsA particularly depressing personal experience of mine made into a Sleepy Hollow fic. Rated for a few scary situations, some swearing, and the fact that I'm paranoid and don't want this to be deleted AGAIN.Sleepy Hollow - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,233 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 6-27-12 - Published: 6-2-125. Bloody Hell! Why? » reviewsAnthony was not expecting this to happen when he came to London for the first time. Not for the faint of heart or squeamish. Co-authored with Shebelle. Written because I'm sick and twisted. Rated for profanity, rape, and mpreg.Sweeney Todd - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,287 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 6-22-12 - Published: 11-18-10 - Johanna B. & Anthony H.6. Severely screwed up » reviewsA series of random drabbles for various catagories including Twilight, ASOUE, Sweeney Todd, Sleepy Hollow, and Back to the Future. Includes Pirates of the Caribbean as well. Written because I'm stupid.X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,241 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 7-24-11 - Published: 8-17-097. Carrie in Wonderland » reviewsIt started out as a simple shopping trip with a friend. It ended with a trip to Wonderland. Rated because I'm paranoid.Crossover - Carrie & Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,115 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-24-11 - Published: 7-14-118. Sweeney Todd and the horrors of youtube reviewsThis is one way Sweeney might react to one of the most popular videos on youtube. Rated for very mild language.Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 7-2-11 - Sweeney T. - Complete9. Chills » reviewsAll Sweeney could do was lie there on the deck of the bountiful, helpless and shivering. Rated because Anthony has the mouth of a sailor. No pairing.Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,719 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-22-11 - Published: 6-21-11 - Sweeney T. & Anthony H.10. Novocain Nonsense reviewsThe Mad Hatter gets his wisdom teeth taken out. Hilarity and cuteness ensue on the way home. Rated higher than it should be because I'm paranoid.Alice in Wonderland, 2010 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-5-11 - Alice K. & Mad Hatter/Tarrant Hightopp - Complete11. Schizo » reviewsThis is what happens when you combine me, a computer, a few too many energy drinks, and all my favorite characters from my favorite fandoms. Written because I'm stupid.X-overs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 4,418 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 11-8-10 - Published: 5-30-0812. Eyes on fire » reviewsKlaus and Quigley are dead. Brutally murdered by someone they held dear. Violet has no idea who. Will she find their killer, or will they remain unknown? Is Violet next on the list to die? EDITEDSeries Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 1-13-10 - Published: 7-20-08 - Violet B.13. Muy Borracho reviewsEdward is drunk. What could possibly happen? Relax, it's relatively clean... Excuse the title, my Spanish isn't very good.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,118 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-27-09 - Edward & Bella14. Oh, bugger » reviewsSomething on the time machine has gone haywire, causing Marty to end up in- What? Forks? Rated T because I'm paranoid. Written because I'm a freaking idiot.Crossover - Back to the Future & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,024 - Reviews: 23 - Updated: 9-23-09 - Published: 6-6-09 - Marty McFly15. Crapper clogging reviewsBasically the Twilight characters clogging toilets with random objects. Written because I'm stupid. If you don't like stupid, don't read this. This is the epitome of stupid.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 463 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-19-0916. Cullen Commercials reviewsCommercials by the Twilight characters. Get a sense of humor and an appreciation for corny commercials before you read it. Written because I'm stupid.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 203 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 8-30-0917. Under the Weather » reviewsEdward is sick. Can Bella help nurse him back to health? I know this has been done before, but I just wanted to take a crack at it. Written because I'm a freaking idiot.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,531 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 6-8-09 - Published: 6-4-09 - Edward & Bella18. Tears of Venom reviewsWho knew vampires could cry? NM, EdPOV.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 547 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-4-09 - Edward & Alice - Complete19. Arachnaphobia reviewsArachnaphobia: Noun. A fear of spiders. That's really all the information you're going to need for this one. Rated T because I'm paranoid.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 6-4-09 - Edward20. Dawn Of The Dead » reviewsThere is a strange sickness going around. Everyone who dies from it will soon come back to life. One small problem: They're flesh-eating zombies and they WILL eventually get you. EDITED.Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,898 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 1-14-09 - Published: 6-29-0821. Fun with exercise balls! » reviewsViolet and Klaus have found out how to use an exercise ball for their entertainment. Written because I'm stupid. GET A SENSE OF HUMOR.Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-6-09 - Published: 1-5-0922. OH MY CRAPBALLS! reviewsSamara sees herself in The Ring. Contains spoilers. Written because I'm stupid.Ring/Ringu - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-22-08 - Complete23. Ghost Ring reviewsKatie from Ghost Ship, meet Samara from The Ring. My first fic. Rated, but to be on the safe side. Written because I'm stupid.Crossover - Ring/Ringu & Ghost Ship - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5-29-08 - Complete
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