Real name: Please, just call me Samara if you don't want to face death in seven days.

Basic personality: Let's just say that if you're nice to me, I won't shrink your clothes in the wash. And please, try not to use chatspeak. I mean, seriously, would it kill you to use proper grammar?! I'm a little bit picky about that. No, I'm not an English teacher!

Awesome crap

Shows

My Name is Earl, America's Funniest Videos, NOVA (documentaries, lol.), The Simpsons, Family Ties, The Scariest Places On Earth, TV shows about ghosts (just about any one will do), What Not To Wear (both versions), Mythbusters, How Clean Is Your House

Movies

ASOUE, Back to the Future Trilogy, The Simpsons Movie (It's retarded, I know, you don't have to yell.), The Ring movies, The Scream trilogy, The Grudge movies, Dawn Of The Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Spaceballs, Fried Green Tomatoes, Diary of the Dead, Disaster Movie, The Exorcist, Napoleon Dynamite, The Unborn, Twilight saga, Quarentine, Rest Stop, The Shining, Speak, Heathers, Zombieland

Books

ASOUE-- Lemony Snicket

Poseur-- Rachel Maude

Ruling Class-- Francine Pascal

Speak; Fever 1793; Catalyst-- Laurie Halse Anderson

Witch Child-- Celia Rees

Twilight series-- Stephenie Meyer

Quotes

"D'OH!"- Homer Simpson

"Eat my shorts!"-Bart Simpson

"Karma this, you dummy!"-Joy Turner

"He knows what you did last summer!"-Haylie, Aquamarine

"Hey, marriage is no picanic. Oh, and by the way, you're a terrible actor!"-Violet Baudelaire

"...And these monkeys are my family."-Epps, Ghost Ship

"Smell ya later!"-Nelson Muntz

"Great Scott!"-Doc or some random guy off of Superman

"Whoa, this is heavy!"-Marty McFly

"Ha-ha!"-Nelson Muntz

"Dibs."-Randy Hickey

"Silence is golden, but ductape is silver."-unknown

"I have an hourglass figure, the sands just keep shifting."-coffee mug

"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose!"-avatar I saw somewhere

"Purple monkey dishwasher."-Me or someone else, can't remember who.

"Have no fear! Fuzzface is here!"-Me

"Whoever said nothing was impossible never made an attempt to slam a revolving door." -unknown

"Holy snot!"-Drake, Drake and Josh

"I Love Mondays! Hey, the medication’s working!"- some line I saw in a story...

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."-unknown

"Your future is whatever you make it, so make it a good one!"-Doc

"I didn't LOSE my marbles, exactly...I just sold 'em. On Ebay!"-unknown

"Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?" Klaus Baudelaire

"Don't brush me, I'll kill it!"-Quote from Stuff on my Cat...

"Psyche!" -80's slang

"Your taco looks like Lindsay Lohan."-Me

"Don't worry. It's plastic, like Paris Hilton!"-unknown

"There's always something."-Violet Baudelaire

"Kiss my hairy yellow butt!"-Homer Simpson

"Freebird!"- unknown

"It's my shirt, get away, you Canadians!"-Sammy

"I let my mind wander, but it never came back."-unknown

"Lost in thought. Send a search party."- T-shirt I saw somewhere...

"Dudes are like port-a-potties. All the good ones are taken, and all the bad ones are full of crap!"-unknown

"Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it."-unknown

"Don't let your mind wander. It's too small to be out on its own." -unknown

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, life is short, so party we must!"-unknown

"In a world of nonsense, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it wasn't was." -unknown

"You're unique, just like everyone else."-unknown

"What'chu huggin' me for?" "He told me to." "Well, quit it." "No, you like it!"-unknown

"Boys are like books. The good ones are taken, and all the bad ones are full of nonsense."-Me

"Just gimme your freakin' tots!" -T shirt, possibly Napoleon Dynomite

"Either the curtains go or I go!"-Oscar Wilde

"When you're young and fall of a horse, you get some broken bones. When you're old and fall off a horse, you go splat."-Unknown

"Dude... I was thinking... alot... one time... I... I had an apiffinany... Today... Is... Tomorrow's... Yesterday..."-unknown

"It's retarded. It's ridiculus. It's re-dic-u-tarded!"-unknown

Pumba: "Eh, Timon? What do you think those litle twinkling lights up there?"
Timon: "They're little fire flies caught up in a big black net..."
Pumba: "Really? I thought they were huge balls of hot gas millions of miles away from us."
Timon: "Pumba...with you...everything's gas."-Timon and Pumba

"Sanity is a state of mind. It's near North Dakota."-unknown

"Being normal is for freaks."-unknown

"My Barbies don't have heads anymore."-unknown

"This is Tyler. Tyler tried to steal my cookie. Take that, Tyler!"-Me

"I'm not arrogant. I'm just better than you!"-unknown

"We're going to throw tomatoes at the president! Tomatoes, and chairs, and chair-y tomatoes!"-unknown

"Exile. I'm in exile. They've banished me from the lunch table."-unknown

"When all else fails, laugh!"-unknown

"They have sent us to this dungeon, more commonly known as school."-unknown

"Ah, Valentines day...don't you hate it?"-Me

"Get in mah belly!"-unknown

"You can woo-hoo with a Sim!"-PaperShredder

"Your air freshener smells like crap."-Me

"I feel four feet tall."-Michael J. Fox

"Holy crapola!"-unknown

"GIT 'ER DONE!"-Larry the Cable Guy

"I bent my wookie!"-Ralph Wiggum

"Whoa... rock 'n roll!"- Marty McFly

"I think you'll find the barn comfortable. Never heard any complaints about it from the pigs." - Seamus McFly

"Before you die, you see the ring." -Rachel Keller, The Ring

"I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and I'm more of a woman than you'll ever get."- Angel Dumott Schunard

"I just need a toxic substance... L.A. tap water will do just fine."- Jim Carrey

"Don't f-ck with the babysitter!"- Chris Parker (Adventures in Babysitting)

"I've just seen 3 people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's some homeless guy out my phone booth who wants his BEDROOM slippers!"- Brenda (Adventures in Babysitting)

"GEEZ, Banana! Shut your freaking gob, okay?!" -Juno McGuff

"Seven days..." -Samara Morgan

"Natural blonde; Please speak slowly." -T shirt

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then let everyone else wonder how you did it." -unknown

"You don't get a belly ring when you're big! You get onion rings!" -Larry The Cable Guy

"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads." -Doc

"You are you; no one else is." -PaperShredder

"Psychos can't kill what they can't find." Sydney Prescott, Scream 3

"When life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at stupid people." -Ranekaera

"Penguins!! They steal your sanity one brain cell at a time!!" -Rankeaera

"Whenever I have trouble sleeping, I count the buckles on my straijacket." -Ranekaera

"You laugh at me now, but you won't be laughing at me when I crawl out from under your bed tonight." -Ranekaera

"There ain't enough ketchup in the WORLD to make me eat THAT!" - Ranekaera On Brussel sprouts

"Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler." -CrimsonScarz

"I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed." -James Thurber

"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." -Homer Simpson

"NNNI-HAAA!" -Victor

"Soylent Green is people!" -some guy from Soylent Green

"Cameron is wound up so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his a-s, in 2 weeks, you'd have a DIAMOND." -Ferris Bueller

"Life goes pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

"All things are poisonous, yet there is nothing that is poisonous. It's only the dose that makes a thing poisonous." -Paraclesus (science quote, gotta love 'em...)

"Ich bin ein Berliner." John F. Kennedy (translation: I am a jelly doughnut.)

"I used to believe in chocolate, but now it makes me fat." -PaperShredder

"I used to believe in salmon and hard boiled eggs, but now they make me fart." -PaperShredder

"Sharing is caring; looking dead is overbearing." -Me

"What girls don't seem to know: If a guy acts like he hates you, chances are he likes you.
What guys don't seem to know: If a girl acts like she hates you, chances are she hates you." -Me

"Oh, SCHRAP!!" -PaperShredder

"Tacos are great, because you can eat them and whatever drops is a taco salad." -Radioactive Nerd

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." -Edward, Twilight

"What a stupid lamb..." -Bella, Twilight

"What a sick, masochistic lion." -Edward, in response, Twilight

"Our journey through time has taken a most excellent turn!" -Bill and Ted, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

"What is a fork and a spoon?" "Why, that would be a FOON, my friend!!" -PaperShredder and me using fake British accents after school

"Ich heise stanka!!" -PaperShredder and me, making up stupid German phrases...

"I'll teach you to laugh... at something that's... FUNNY!!" -Homer while strangling Bart

"They say 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people." -unknown

"I don't obsess! I think intensely." -unknown

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!" -unknown

"You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid backside." -unknown

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up." -unknown

"Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' Then it hits me." -unknown

"Edward Cullen's a dirtbag!!" -Me after reading New Moon

"Have no fear, Marijuana Man is here!!" -Edward Cullen in a dream I had once. Really, Edward was selling marijuana, and Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice were smoking it...

"Let's do the circle!" -Edward in the above-mentioned dream

"OMG Edward is pregnant!!" -Me after photoshopping Edward

"What're you crappin' about?!" PaperShredder

"What if I told you to take me to Vegas right now? Would I be a vampire in three days?" -Bella
"Sure. I'll get my car." -Edward
"Dammit." -Bella

"Stupid shiny volvo owner..." -Bella

"You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."
"Maybe...if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love...well, no, not even then." -Edward and Jacob

"I don't care who is a vampire and I don't care who is a werewolf. Your Jacob and He's Edward."- Bella
"But he IS a vampire and I AM werewolf." -Jacob
"And I'm a VIRGO!" -Bella

"Watching Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. They both sat there staring at the board, Alice predicting what moves he would make and Edward picking he moves from her mind. I think they had only moves two pieces when Alice flicked over her king and walked away. The whole thing took about three minutes." -Bella

"He said never to come through this door again. Technically, I came in through the window." -Edward

"Fall down again Bella?"
"No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf." -Bella and Emmett

"Be nice to me, or I'll shrink your clothes in the wash." -Me

"Were you raised in a barn?" -Mom

"Yes..." -Me in response to the latter question

"This place sure doesn't look like a barn to me..." -Mom in response to me

"Jasper, were you raised in a barn?" -Carlisle in a dream I had

"Yes..." -Jasper in response

"I'M A REDNECK!!" -Victoria in the above-mentioned dream

"You've given us an excuse to use the kitchen for the first time." -Carlisle

"Why do my dreams keep taking place at Wal-Mart?" -Me

"Next time, Jasper, use the door!!" -Carlisle in another dream I had

"But coming through the window is so much more funner!" -Jasper in response

"Shut the front door!" - Morons (a.k.a, Wyatt, Michael, Randy, Nic, and some other guy I knew.)

"Edward Cullen does NOT deserve to be made into a Barbie!!" -Me in Photoshop class...

"Bella doesn't deserve to be a Barbie, either!!" -Me in Photoshop class again...

"Stupid shiny sparkly spoon..." -me

"LIGHTBULBS!!" -Gretchen and me in rock climbing class...

"May da Schwartz be with you!" -Yoghurt, Spaceballs

"How is it that you manage to get toothpaste on the mirror, all the way at the top?!" -Mom

"Go ahead and talk about me behind my back, but I have advice for you. Click your heels together and say: 'I NEED A LIFE!'" -avatar I saw somewhere

"Love is a battlefield. Have a weapon ready." -Me

"I can do anything I want. I can kill horses. I can make pictures with my mind. I can clog the toilet with left over turkey." -Samara Morgan in Idiotic Deeds (HILARIOUS FIC!)

"I'm the brightest crayon on the tree!!" -Jasper Hale in Vampire Cola

"D'you wannna come with me? Hmm, ya wanna come with me? Too bad, you're coming with me." -Me to our newest kitty

"Unless life hands you sugar and water, your lemonade's gonna suck." -Some guy on Facebook

Marge: "Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday"
Homer: "Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend" -Homer and Marge

Scully: "Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?"
Homer: "Yes."
(lie dectector blows up) -Simpsons, Homer and Scully

"Some see the glass half empty, some see the glass half-full. Me? I just wanna know who's drinking my freaking soda." -unknown

"Motorcycles go up your a-- because they go too fast!" -PaperShredder

"Who let the dogs out?" Chris after the teacher asked if we had any questions before a test (social studies)

DeMarkus: "Live long."
Hunter: "Die well."
DeMarkus: "And please protect the kiwis!" -DeMarkus and Hunter

Copy these into your profile if they apply to you.

If you collect these, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're part of the two percent who hasn't, copy this, and paste it in your profile.

Who agrees with me that homophobes are nasty, insensitive people?

If you know someone (or several someones) who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers has drank alcohol or done drugs. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.

If you like well-written Original Characters but hate Mary Sues, copy this into your profile, and add your name to the list: Arktos, Random Little Writer, Phish Tacko.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnouxious preppy people, copy this into your profile.

If you dislike people who dislike people who aren't pretty, copy this into your profile.

Dogs growl because they can’t meow.

This story is about a little girl who is abused. If you care about it, put it in your profile: My name is Sarah, I am but three. My eyes are swollen, I cannot see. I must be stupid, I must be bad, what else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, then maybe my mommy would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all, I can't do a thing wrong, or else I'm locked all the day long. When I awake, I'm all alone, the house is dark, my folks aren't home. When my mommy does come, I'll try and be nice, so maybe I'll just get one whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car, my daddy is back from Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse, my name he calls, I press myself against the wall. I try and hide from his evil eyes, I'm so afraid I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping, he shouts ugly words. He says it's my fault that he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me, and yells at me some more. I finally get free and head for the door. He's already locked it and I start to bawl, he takes me and throws me against the hard wall. I fall to the floor with my bones nearly broken, and my daddy continues with bad words still spoken. "I'm sorry!" I scream, but it was much too late, his face has been twisted into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain, again and again. Oh please, God, have mercy! Oh please, let it end! And he finally stops and heads for the door, while I lay motionless, sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah, and I am but three. Tonight, my daddy murdered me. Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

If you like documentaries, copy this into your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the base set and play kickball.

If you think Rush Limbaugh should leave Michael J. Fox alone, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who acts like a five-year-old but you're still friends with them, copy this into your profile.

If you're glad they're making Deloreans again, copy this into your profile.

I wonder if there’s rehab for Cullen addiction...

When life gives you skittles, throw them at your enemy and say "Taste the rainbow, you b-tch!!"

If you're on the computer 24/7, copy this into your profile.

If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of its orbit?

Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase?

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

Dorks are cool. Dorks are smart. Dorks will one day rule the universe. If you're a Dork and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full!

If you can't convince them, confuse them (Smiles Evilly)

If you have weird taste in anything, copy this into your profile.

If you're freakishly good at anything, copy this into your profile.

If you think we should be able to write in script form, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Phish Tacko.

If you think we should be able to write songfics, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Phish Tacko.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said "pull" and vice versa, copy this into your profile.

If you eat carbs and are proud, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you can be pretty without being self-centered, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite sex can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a smart-alek and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate both Mary Sues and Marty Stues (or Gary Stues), copy this into your profile.

If you've ever blown a gum bubble the size of your head in study hall, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

If you are reading these profiles 'cause you have no life, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.), Phish Tacko (too many to list, not telling anyway),

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd.

Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork!!

If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that, put it in your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you aren't scared to wear more than one black garment of clothing at a time, copy and paste this into you're profile.

If you're not afraid to voice your opinion and make a point, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're not afraid to stand up for what you believe in, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, or Aeropostale told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

When I say LOL I’m not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

If you can’t dance, copy this into your profile.

If you are a chocoholic, copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, SamanthaFantasyFan, EdwardAddict Rakasha Shadowfang,KogaxAyame's cub, ccsinuyashaloverjj, ‘loha, Second Daughter of Eve, Phish Tacko.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

You do realize that if you've read this far, you've given me brief control of your mind. You shall never be the same. Bwaha!

If you have ever cursed loudly and then realized that a teacher was standing nearby, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

(\_/)
( o.o )
(U U )

This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. (do it now)

Jesus is the one I serve. Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the Word... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today... Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son, then copy and paste this in your profile. If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says, "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

If have ever eaten someone else's food without realizing it, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you know someone who is fighting, has survived, or died of cancer.

If you don't support the banning of review responses, sign this petition. http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/reviewrule

If you think that school sucks bigtime, copy this into your profile.

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or myspace
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you've ever done your best friend's math homework by accident, copy this into your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character, copy this to your profile.

If you love the 1980's, copy this into your profile!

If you are sympathetic to people in need, copy this into your profile.

If you act funny/retarded (in a good way) in front of your friends, copy this into your profile.

If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copt this into your profile.

If you have had long strings of dreams that don't make any sense whatsoever in short periods of time, copy this into your profile.

If you love psychos, copy this into your profile.

If you are a psycho, copy this into your profile.

If you're weird, copy this into your profile.

If you like to quote things, copy this into your profile.

If you have too many of these copy and paste things in your profile and don't care who dislikes it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is WAAAAAYYYY too long, copy this into your profile and proceed to brag about how long your profile is.

If you love these copy and paste things, even though they aren't that cool to begin with, copy and paste this into your profile.

Even if you can't see him, God is there! If you believe in God, put this in your profile!

If you hate rap music, put this in your profile. Remember, you can't spell crap without rap!

If you prefer music from the 70s, 80s, etc. and hate most of today's music, put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills and are proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you don't care that people think you're weird just because you hate/don't watch MTV, listen to 60s/70s/80s music, don't wear Hot Topic clothing, etc., copy this into your profile.

If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY CHERRIOS.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your love Sharpies, ping-pong, chocolate, more chocolate, food in general...chocolate..., and the internet, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, -xIxHEARTxEDWARDx-, sakurabloom1124, Phish Tacko

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your close friends are really funny, copy and paste.

If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.

If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not, copy this into your profile.

If you love playing Tetris, copy this into your profile.

If you regularly watch too many horror movies, copy and paste this into your profile.

Continue the High School Musical Sucks Train! Add your name! Stephanie Pascal, x Rajah x, sundrynotes, theheartyearns, Hopeless-EO-Shipper, Phish Tacko

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its chessy music. Crazy is when you laugh uncontrolably at your own jokes. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny. Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!". Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence. Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it. Crazy is when you memorized every single line of the Kingdom Hearts series. Crazy is when your so obsessed with Roxas (KH 2) that you bang on the T.V. every now and then to see if he will come out. Crazy is when your are going through this as a checklist. Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments. Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day. Crazy is when you're crazy. Crazy is when start talking nonsense every day during gym. Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown. Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them. Crazy is when you go to look at cats and can't stop. Crazy is when your binder of French vocabulary words gets so big and thick that you title it Harry Potter and the French Vocabulary. Crazy is when you doze off playing your virtual ipod in your head and are snapped out of it when a friend asks you why you're wiggling to what seems like a beat. Crazy is when you stand on the street corner dressed in snazzy costumes and sing the Lollipop song at the top of your lungs while waving at random cars as they drive by. Crazy is when you respond to that little voice in the back of your head. Crazy is when you have a conversation with an inanimate object. Crazy is when you have dreams of ballet shoes taking over the world and possessed sheep attacking you. Crazy is walking into big, yard-thick poles. Crazy is going to school in costume, even though it's not halloween. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and throw those lemons back in the face of the person who gave them to you until you get the oranges you originally asked for!!

Try to have fun with life. You never know when it could end. If you believe in this saying, copy and paste into your profile.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity.

Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, post this in your profile. =D

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD.

I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally screamed out loud for no particular reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Copy this into your profile if you're a procrastination addict!

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a b-tch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I'm an OUTCAST, so I MUST be a jealous loser
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be frigid
I'm SHY, so I MUST NOT have any friends
I wear black nail polish and am into music so I MUST be emo
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I love the 80's, so I MUST be a dweeb who's stuck in the past.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a concieted snob
I'm SCOTTISH, so I MUST wear plaid kilts and play a bagpipe all the time.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm a WHITE GIRL so I MUST be a steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I love disco music, so I MUST be a freak.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be f-cking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I love the 50's so i MUST be stuck in the past.
I'm a girl who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I love dogs, so I MUST be a redneck.
I get LOW GRADES IN SCHOOL so I MUST be mentally challenged.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I haven't EVER HAD A BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be unromantic
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I LOVE MY FRIENDS, so I MUST be giving them something
I'm SUSPICIOUS, so I MUST be an arrogant jerk
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I have ADHD, so I MUST be a crazy-chick that you can't control
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'M RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I am A BOOKWORM, so I MUST be a dreamer
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I am A DREAMER, so I MUST be insane (unrealistic)
I HAVE MANY DIFFERENT INTERESTS, so I MUST be unable to commit to one thing
I MISS BELOVED FAMILY MEMBERS THAT HAVE DIED, so I MUST be unable to move on with my life.
I LIVE ON A FARM/OUT IN THE COUNTRYSIDE, so I MUST be a hick.
I'M VAMPISH, SO I MUST BE NOCTURNAL.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

~STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ITALICIZE THE ONES YOU ARE!

If you have music in your soul, post this into your profile.

If you are/have ever been currently so angry at someone that you would jump at the chance to kill them, murder them, BUTCHER THEM LIKE THE SWINE THEY ARE, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: Phish Tacko

If you are/were being oppressed by someone on this site, IN A FORUM, copy this into your profile and add yourself to this list: Phish Tacko

If you are annoyed by people who misinterpret innocent statements in your profile to mean that you are making fun of them, so they go try to be martyrs by posting their annoyance at you in review form to one of your stories when nobody but them seems to have an issue with it, copy this and put it in your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

I’ve developed a weird habit of biting people.

I keep trying to kidnap Jasper, but Alice is always at his window with a bat. How does she kn…ohhh, right!

I kissed a vamp and I liked it!

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

If you hear the voices too, copy and paste this on your profile.

A good/best friend will...
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb a-s?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowd's a-s that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
A good friend will wait for you after detention. A best friend is the reason you're in detention.
A good friend will be at your funeral would be crying. A best friend will be at you grave years later saying "Sorry I was in jail for killing the jerk who murdered you."

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

IF YOU ARE ON A MAJOR SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Her dad was a drunk, Her mom was an addict. Her parents kept her locked in an attic.

Her only friend was a little toy bear. It was old and worn out and had only patches of hair

She always talked to it when no one's around. She lays there and hugs it, not a peep of sound

Until her parents unlock the door, some more and more pain she'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg, a scar on her face. Why would she be in such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear and softly cries. She loves her parents, but they want her to die

She sits in the corner. Quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life for a sad little kid. She'd get beaten and beaten for anything she did

Then one night, her mom came home high, and the poor child was beaten as hours went by

Then her mom suddenly grabbed for a blade. It was sharp and pointy, one that she made

She thrust the blade right in her chest, "You deserve to die, you worthless piece of s--!"

The mom walked out, leaving the girl slowly dying. She grabbed her bear and again started crying

Police showed up at the small little house, then quickly barged in, everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly opened a door to find the little girl lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad to go through so much harm, but at least she died with her best friend in her arms

(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever (almost) taken over the world, but were distracted by something shiny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever HAVE slapped someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

No, I don’t have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it. Guess what’s next? You guessed it...

If you have a friend who is a bisexual, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 5:00 in the morning just because you friggin' could, copy and paste this onto your profile.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

But if the doctor is Carlisle Cullen, screw the fruit!

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

If you believe every child deserves a chance to grow up and go to school, copy and paste this into your profile

If you want the actors and celebrities of Hollywood to be smarter and better role models, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Michael Jackson should've left his face alone, copy this into your profile.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

If you are addicted to the music of the 80's/70's/60's/50's/90's/past in general because most music of today sucks, copy this into your profile.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

If Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers must die, copy this into your profile.

If you can read/speak more than one language (not necessarily fluently), copy this into your profile.

IF YOU LOVE GUITAR HERO, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

If you like stuff that everybody else hates and don't care who thinks you suck because of it, copy this into your profile.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. (Stupid psychiatrist. :P )

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are eventually going to die.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

Guys don't fall for me. I just trip them.

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this.

I Love my Dad:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

If you believe in reverse psychology and know for a fact that it works, copy this into your profile.

There is a very rude author called Flame Rising. Flame Rising flames everyone (pardon the horrible pun). So if Flame Rising flames you don't feel bad, just know that you are not alone. Flame Rising also uses curse words -_-
P.S. plz copy this and put it on your Bio PLZ help stop this author :-)

If you love Twilight but think Edward is a dirtbag after leaving Bella, copy this into your profile.

If you can picture Edward Cullen licking a pole on the coldest day of the year, and getting stuck, copy this into your profile.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tell the truth and run.

Don’t follow me, I’m lost too.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Definition of Your Mum: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do, kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
xIt's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
xYou used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
xYou go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
xBaggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
x Talk with food in your mouth.
xSleep with your socks on at night
xCargo pants rule.
xYou prefer to carry things in your pockets rather than a purse.
xHate being the star of everything.
xSneakers rule.
You hate chick flicks.

TOTAL: 14

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
xYou love to shop.
xYou wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink
x Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
xYou like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
xShopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
xYou have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing
Hate wearing sneakers.
Wear flip-flops/flats/heels all the time.
You live for chick flicks.

TOTAL: 13

If you think that writing fanfics is fun, put this in your profile!

If you like photoshop, copy this into your profile.

If you would like to see someone photoshop a picture of Edward Cullen to make him look pregnant (All hail PaperShredder!), copy this into your profile!

If you HAVE photoshopped a picture of Edward to make him look pregnant, copy this into your profile!!

If you or your friends have mad photoshop skillz, copy this into your profile.

If you know a video game character that NEEDS to exist, copy this into your profile.

I’m sick of following my dreams, I’m just gonna ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL, Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART, Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG, Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY, Calling me POOR won't make you RICH, Calling me FAT wont make you THIN, Calling me UNCOOL won't make you COOL, so why bother?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... 'Nuff said.

If you like Fred, copy this into your profile.

If Trolls and Spammers who think that they're being 'cool' can kiss your a-s, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been bullied online or forced to leave any site due to spamming and trolling, post this into your profile and make people aware of this problem. Together we can put an end to cyber bullying!

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Someday, my prince will come. He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's strange. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

My knight in shining amour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

A criminal will stab you in the front. A friend will stab you in the back. A boyfriend will stab you in the heart. But only best friends poke each other with straws.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Chuck Norris provoked the Volturi- AND LIVED!!

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you're a perfectionist and it gets you in trouble more times than humans have created a number for, copy this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own d-mn lemonade!

Don’t mess with me, I’ve got a stick.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I’m the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

If you think playing kickball while you're barefoot and standing in the rain is fun, copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever had a dream that took place at Wal-Mart, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball, Copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Jasper, copy this into your profile!

If you wanna give Jasper a hug for trying the vegetarian way copy and paste this into your profile. :)

╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been diagnosed
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on your
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it too :)

Edward Cullen: Sexier than you since 1901

Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843 or Smoother than you since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Bella Swan: Luckier than you since 1987

About my stories

I ALWAYS integrate my obsessions into my fics. Always. I don't care who hates it.

Throwing continuity out the window and messing up timelines is what I live for. My stories will be weird and abstract. Get an appreciation for abstract art before you read them.

Constructive criticism of my fics is fine, but as long as it's civilized. As for flames, well... All I have to say is this: bring it on, baby. Bring it on. The more dramatic and theatrical, the better.

Visit BluePhish86 (a.k.a, me and BlueFlame86) for fic contests and collaborations.

I also take requests.

Any questions? MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU!!