I'm re-doing my profile! You might be keen to ask, "Why, o great MFJ, are you re-writing your profile when it was so obviously magnificent before? Not that it will be any less magnificent now, but we sort of liked it before." Or, if you don't happen to like me all too terribly, you might say something on the lines of, "Dear Lord, woman, nobody wants to hear your stupid shit! Go and get shot already and save us the trouble of reading this!" ...to which I answer, "Well, chap, it just so happen that I like listening to myself talk (I have to like it or I'd shoot myself from talking to myself so much), and if it bothers you that much, close the fucking window and spare the rest of us the trouble of dealing with your dumb shit. Oh, and I hope you get raped by a sumo wrestler." Now, you might have cringed very mightily at that last sentence, to which I laugh at you for.
As you might have gathered, I don't go through life worrying about offending people. My philosophy is Hakuna Matata plus the philosophy of P.O.P.O. (People who are Offended by People who are Offended). In other words, I couldn't care less what you think about me, and if you are offended by anything concerning me and voice these opinions, I consider it my moral obligation to be offended by you being offended by me and will therefore voice my opinions on you likewise. You can be offended and talk behind my back all you want, by all means! -go right ahead and do so. I don't mind at all. But if you're going to spread ugly rumors about me, I've prepared some guidelines you'd do well to follow as well as a few suggestions, because I think everyone deserves a good heads up (mostly for people who know me personally, but it applies everywhere I guess):
1. I will publicly mock you if I find out. So make sure I don't if you have any dignity whatsoever.
2. If you choose to be offended by my bad "potty mouth" I won't be offended if you ask me nicely to stop talking like that around you. But I will tell you to shut the fuck up if you say that swearing is bad in a snippy or otherwise pissy tone of voice.
3. If you are offended by my clothes or mode of transportation, I will suddenly be offended by your shirt and the way you walk. It will always work like this, there is no avoiding it.
4. If you choose to mock my way of speech, I will baffle you with my extensive vocabulary and then insult you in a foreign language. And then I will translate it very slowly for you. Once again, it will always work like this, and there is no way to hide from it.
5. As for actual guidlines to spreading ugly rumors about me; the first actual step to spreading an ugly rumor is to have a stupid opinion, so gather this before you start.
6. The next step is to find a person who visibly defies this said stupid opinion, and then talk to your resident loudmouthed friend about it.
7. The third step is to talk to other friends who can keep a secret about what you really think about that loudmouthed friend of yours who spread the rumor, and then you will proceed to convince yourself and your secretive friends that you really didn't think that and your loudmouthed friend misinterpreted. It will always work like this. It is guaranteed, for an alibi is needed.
8. The last step is to make sure that you told enough friends your convincing excuse (see number seven) and make sure that the victim of the rumor (me) hears this excuse and is convinced and forgives you.
9. Unfortunately, number eight will not work, so just skip number eight entirely, and while you're skipping that, just skip number seven entirely. The rest is in your hands while I will proceed to do the same shit to you via a more reliable set of guidelines! Have a nice day!
I'm sorry if you were offended. I'm kidding. Pssh, I'm not THAT mean, really! ...Somehow...that didn't sound as convincing as I intended. Okay, so I spontaneously felt like adding something. That's it. Sue me if it bugs you, but BE WARNED BEFORE YOU DO BECAUSE MY GREAT AUNT IS A LAWYER. Also, the fact my great aunt being a lawyer is also a warning and a disclaimer. I don't own anything that I write about on this site. Most of the time. Sometimes I like to fantasize that I do, but when it comes down to it, I get really insecure about the things that I DON'T OWN. I own the altered storyline, and I own my OCs. That is all. Thank you.
Now, I'm not a fan of disclosing vast amounts of information via internet, so here's what I'm comfortable revealing. You can either call me Mandrakefunnyjuice, MFJ, or Tammy, which is a nickname for my real name. No, I will not tell you my real name. This is not for the reasons that you think it is; I couldn't care less if you knew my real full name. You still wouldn't know where I live, my social security number, and besides, my location has a tendency to change. It's simply because my first name is made-up and I've never met someone else named it, and I'm very selfish about my name. I like it a lot. It is unique. I don't want people stealing it. If you can guess it, I will congratulate you and give you kudos. Or something. But I will not reveal my full first name! IT IS MIIINNNEE!
There goes my rant about my name. Note about my penname: I don't know where the hell I got it. I created this account on a whim at some odd early time in the morning a year ago. Things that happen that early in the morning should be illegal.
I collect crazy hats now. I have a Dopey hat (NO I DID NOT MAKE A DRUG REFERENCE STOP THINKING I'M A STONER BECAUSE I WEAR IT ALL THE TIME ARRRGGH) that I got in Disneyland. I'm a Disney fan. I grew up on the stuff. I have a sombrero that my grandmother haggled for me from Nogales, Mexico. This is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen: a little old lady arguing prices with a short mexican man. I have a black-and-white checkered furry top hat from Lagoon. I have a flaming furry pimp hat that I got at a fair some time in the past that I can't remember. I have a small collection of flower crowns that I bought over the years at the Renaissance Faire back up home. I recently got this really cool witch hat that's one of a kind - some lady made it and my mom bought it for me. Best surprise of my life. I weare it around the house now. I think have a Yankees baseball cap somewhere in storage despite the fact that I don't really like the Yankees, or baseball for that matter. What else...? Oh, I used to collect beanie babies. I have tones of those in a box somewhere in storage...and I have some stuffed colorful monkeys that make those annoying screeching noises, including one broken slingshot monkey and one that had its voice box broken inside the checker hat in the top of my closet. I used to collect Magic cards, but I outgrew that phase. Now I have Xbox, and it is a goooood life. I also have Wii and GameCube, and that adds to the gooooood life more.
Oh, on that note, I like video games. But I have a life outside of it that includes the occasional hang-out with friends, walking when I have to, sitting on my ass, TV, and vacuuming. I like vacuuming. I think it's fun. I deliberately dump stuff on my floor so I can vip it up the vacuum because I like the noise it makes when it picks up lots of stuff. Why, yes, I am aware of the fact I'm very odd! Thank you for taking notice! It makes me feel special.
Back to that life of video games, however. My current obsession is BioShock. If you haven't played it, do it. Now. I order you to.
No, I'm not kidding. Do it.
It is, by far, the best video game I have played since Ocarina of Time and Baldur's Gate (nothing's ever going to live up to those two). You can't play through it the same way more than once. You always want to do different things, and even listening to the radio diaries doesn't get old because there's all sorts of little plot twists and extra story that you can find out about. It's more than awesome, it's godly. And there's all sorts of achievements to unlock...oh joyous Rapture, oh horrible puns! Dear God, someone take me away from my screen...
Now, what else is there to attend to? My favorite food is Trix. I love that cereal. I have since I was exceedingly small, I believe. Ooh, and those little chocolate rice crispies. Those are amazing. Those, and Reeses peanut butter cups, and my grandma's chocolate crinkles. Those are my favorite foods. And yet people wonder at my unbalanced diet...well, anywho. I'm addicted to caffeine and I like mountain dew. It's my favorite soda. I'm drinking some as I type this up, as a matter of fact. My favorite drink is coffee, even though I get it only so rarely. Hard to believe that I used to not be able to stand the taste of it, but I've always loved the smell. It really is an acquired taste, I guess.
I've decided on something on my religious note. I've sat through a year now of mormon seminary and I still wear my pentacle. Now what does that say in the way of bull shit, hmm? They can procillate until my ears fall off, but doggonit, I'm still worshipping the Goddess how and when I choose to. And who knows, I might just start my own religion one of these days! It shall be the Church of Mock. We will have our weekly meetings on Thursday morning, because nobody ever wants to worship on Thursday morning. And we will meet in the mall and preach from... the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and/or Good Omens! We will be able to pray whenever we choose, even in the middle of an extremely life-threatening event, and will have a god by the name of...Asshat. And we will pray to the Asshat and bless you that the Asshat may go with you. Our scriptures (HGttG) will be ductaped in the color of our choice, or covered in...plastic wrap! Yes! And small children will not be allowed to our worship services, because it bugs the HELL out of me when little babies cry in the middle of a prayer and their parents are too damn ashamed or lazy to take them outside and scold them. No small kids who do not know the meaning of silence. Our holy water is coffee, and we shall bless you in the shape of a trapezoid, because that's a damn cool sounding shape.
...As you have probably derived, no, I don't ever take things seriously. Not if I don't have to. If I did, I'd end up really emo and depressed all the time. Instead, I'm really cracked up and like wearing my crazy hats to various public locations, and then sitting on a bench next to a random stranger and try to start up conversations on the strange things...and then in spare time, I choose to listen to some Frank Sinatra whilst playing Quake 4. Now aren't you glad I don't take life seriously? Because I wouldn't be there to brighten that random stranger on the bench's day if I did! Isn't life that much greater now that you understand?
Well, I'm afraid my time draws short. I'll probably add more later, as I always do, since this abyssmal corner of internet space is my pit of random thoughts and such. Or something like that. Eh. I don't know. I'm terribly tired, though, so I'm just going to say toodles and let you get on with your sad pathetic excuse for a life. Have fun, and don't jay walk like I do, because you might get hit, and that would be very messy and distressing!
;;For those of you who didn't bother reading that, I don't blame you. This is my random thought section, and you may find little snippits about my personality and such. But mostly just random thoughts.;;
--I know other people have thought of this as well: veggie oil is made from veggies. Canola oil is made from canola. Olive oil is made from olives. What the hell is baby oil made from? The answer: babies. Cute and cuddly babies.
--I don't like nuts. Except for toasted almonds. Nothing. Else.
--My friend, who's a big Rancid fan, wants Tim Armstrong's pants. If he ever happens to look at this (worship this page if he does but he probably never will), heads up about your upcoming Salt Lake City gig: she wants to rape you. O.O
--So this old lady flipped me off the other day. It was sad, but funny at the same time. I suppose I had it coming, though I don't really know why.
--I was in Arizona once with my family at this ice cream shoppe...we walk in, stand in line, and then we hear this rumbling noise outside. A whole biker gang of like twenty to thirty old Hell's Angels-looking guys pull up get off their bikes and then stride right in the door...and order strawberry sherbet.
--You know, back in the 60's or 70's, you could probably bring a shotgun to school and the principal would take you out to his car and show you his so you could compare. Nowadays they call the FBI on you and drag you into juvenile reclaimation.
...Our society is fucked up.
--Carpe diem - seize the day. Carpe gymnasium - seize the gymnasium. Carpe cafetorium - seize the cafeteria. Carpe sub ubium - seize the underwear.
--"We're all blessed with the same thing in life - 24 hours a day. Now, it's how we use that time that counts. I find it hard to believe that you spent your school year on cruise control and managed a ''_'' cumulative GPA...you would amaze me with the things you could do if you really tried. Your mother is busy wasting her time. She's doing everything over twice. If she had done it right the first time, she could have had more time to do what she wanted with right now, but she's busy wasting her time by doing it again. We spend too much of our time wasting it, correcting our mistakes when we don't have to make mistakes in the first place." -- my Granddad. If that's not enough incentive to get a better grade, I don't know what is.
--What's the speed of dark? Is it the speed from which you get knocked out, or the speed at which you run at a hard brick wall head-first? Because the dark that follows is pretty dark.
--The shortest binomial name for an animal is actually "Ia io" which is an Great Evening Bat, methinks. These are the sorts of things I learn from biology. God save us all when I take my AP class in it next year...(shudders)
--My uncle has a dog that looks like a guinea pig. She's about as stupid as one too. The first time I saw her (the dog), I pointed this disturbing similarity to my Uncle, and then told him that guinea pigs are considered a delicacy in Peru. The dog has avoided me ever since.
--Back in the Roman rule of Constantine, they banned sausages. During Nero's reign, they were associated with the Lupercalia festival, and the early Catholic Church banned the festival...so eating sausages became a sin. O.o
-Apparently in Fascist Italy (Mussolini), Fascist paramilitary groups force-fed the outspoken political activists castor oil. O.o Apparently they got really bad diarrhea and dehydration and sometimes died...from castor oil...so Mussolini's power was said to be backed by "the bludgeon and castor oil." Castor oil, of all the things to frighten people with, it's castor oil...
--I'm addicted to caffeine. I get a searing headache if I don't have a Mt. Dew or coffee in the morning.
--The word "vanilla" comes from the Spanish word "vainilla", which goes to "vaina" (meaing "sheath") and then that's derived from the Latin word "vagina". I don't know about you, but I'm never touching vanilla ice cream again.
--The fear of long words is Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. (Oh, the irony... It burns.)
...And furthermore, what cruel person put the letter "s" in "lisp"?
--I hate fish but I like fishing. That makes it even worse since I've lived most my life in Alaska surrounded by great salmon...and I refuse to eat it because it makes me choke...
--Lewis Caroll made up the word "chortle" in Through the Looking-Glass by combining chuckle and snort. Also, "fjord" is the only word in the English language that starts with "fj" because we ripped it off from the Scandanavians.
--Apparently Woody Harrelson's father, Charles Harrelson, is serving life in prison because he is a "organized crime-connected freelance hitman." Claimed to take part in the JFK assassination or something. Why exactly I know about this is beyond me.
--Sylvester Stallone's first movie was a porn movie: Party at Kitty and Stud's. 1970. And he only got paid 200 bucks for it. Hehehehe. Sucker.
--The Sea of Trees by Mt. Fuji (Aokigahara Judai, I think) is the number one suicide area in Japan because it's said that the spirits of those that die there haunt the forest forever. Over 75 bodies have been found there, so they put up this sign there that prohibits suicide in the forest. The lesson in this: commit suicide elsewhere. Besides...why would you want to haunt the forest forever? Think about it. Seems you're in for a boring afterlife if you ask me. Who'd want to haunt stuff? It'd get old after awhile. And don't commit suicide in the first place. There's always people that you leave behind. THINK BEFORE YOU DIE.
--The antibacterial stuff in antibacterial soap only works (meaning it actually kills the bacteria) after sitting on a surface for two minutes or so. So don't rinse it off until it's been two and a half minutes, because you just never can tell how many germs you picked up from the peanut bowl...
--I looked in my geography book and noticed that Nepal is the only country on Earth that doesn't have a rectangular flag. Crazy Nepal.
--WD-40 dissolves cocaine. THIS IS NOT DRUG ENDORSING. MY NEIGHBORS NEED TO STOP CONSULTING ME ON DRUGS. Furthermore...
I AM NOT ON DRUGS, I NEVER HAVE BEEN, I NEVER WILL. PLEASE, YOU CRAZY CHURCHY PEOPLE THAT LIVE BY ME, STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT. Argh. They think the worst of me! I'm not stoned, okay, I'm just tired because I have minor insomnia problems. Can't go to sleep until one o'clock in the morning or later. Sheebussss! WHY do they ALWAYS assume I'm doing drugs in my room?! Is it the way I dress? The way I speak? The way I walk!? I've never done drugs in my entire life!!
--They say "fuck" in Scarface 207 times. I counted. Averages out to about 1.2 a minute or so. My mother told me there's a college drinking game involving shots and the number of times they say fuck in that movie. No wonder everyone I know is drunk when they watch it. - -;
--I swear, I'm a trendsetter. I start using a phrase and then everyone starts saying it. I call someone an insult and then EVERYONE starts using that insult. I wear a different style of clothing, EVERYBODY ELSE STARTS WEARING IT. I'm not even popular, but I swear to God, people are copying my bits. I'm not paranoid. My friend and I were one the first kids at my school to start drinking Mountain Dew at lunch. A week later I see some lame-ass preppy guys drinking it. Later, my friend started calling these slutty girls "bitchy skanks who needed to be pimpslapped." Suddenly everyone was using the word "pimpslap," and "skank" was back in the vernacular. She started using Elton John's name in vain, and then everyone started to. I think I'm going to start talking like they do in the bible just so I can hear everyone else talk like that. It'll be enough to prove my theory someday...
Got this off of Orange Sora’s profile. Thought it’d be kind of fun, so I did it. Just a bunch of characters from different genres.
First, write down the names of 12 characters of your choice. Then read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use. Otherwise where would the fun be?
1. Miss Piggy (Muppets)
2. Belgarion (The Belgariad and The Malloreon)
3. Felicity Worthington (A Great and Terrible Beauty)
4. The demon Crowley (Good Omens)
5. Samus Aran (Metriod)
6. Haplo (The Deathgate Cycle)
7. Sebastian (The Little Mermaid)
8. Princess Zelda (take a wild guess)
9. Yacko (Animaniacs)
10. Satine (Moulin Rouge)
11. Drizzt Do’Urden (Forgotten Realms)
12. Queen Gorgo (The 300)
--(Oh my God. I didn’t pick any characters from ToS. I’m amazed at myself. :D)--
Have you ever read a Six(Haplo)/ Eleven(Drizzt) fic? Do you want to?
--No. That would be the day I kill myself.
Do you think Four (Crowley) is hot? How hot?
--…No. Perhaps it’s because, oh, I dunno, he’s fictional? And fictional characters do not exist because they are a figment of the author’s imagination? Perhaps?
What would happen if Twelve(Gorgo) got Eight(Zelda) pregnant?
--That’s…not even biologically possible…and very mind-boggling...and extremely disgusting.
Can you read any fic(s) about Nine(Yacko)?
--Never seen any, but I bet you could. Why you would want to is beyond me.
Would Two(Belgarion) and Six(Haplo) make a good couple?
--No. See the answer to the first question for further details.
Five(Samus) / Nine(Yacko) or Five(Samus) / Ten(Satine)? Why?
--As far as I’m aware, Samus isn’t lesbian, so I’ll go with Yacko, even though BOTH WOULD NOT OCCUR IN ANY FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. EVER. EVER. EVER. But otherwise…yeah. Yacko. Because Yacko is male and Samus isn’t gay. I think.
What would happen if Seven(Sebastian) walked in on Two(Belgarion) and Twelve(Gorgo) in bed together?
--I wasn’t aware that Gorgo was such a sk--oh wait, never mind, she is. What would Sebastian do? WWSD? Good question. Probably disappear in a puff of logic because he’s a Disney character and you just couldn’t see a Disney character reacting to a situation like that without some serious plot holes. But maybe, if it were logical, he’d scream, "What are two people who are married to other people doing in bed with eachother! And not to mention why the hell am I in this scene since I’m a Disney crab and shouldn’t be seen in a scene like this!", all in his crazy Caribbean accent.
Make up a summary for a Three(Felicity) / Ten(Satine) fic.
--Felicity is dragged along by her mother to Paris with her as an "attempt to get fresh air". Felicity thought it would be torture, until she visits the more…seedier…side of Paris. There, she is educated on just how exactly people go about their business at the Moulin Rouge.
-shoots self-
Is there any such thing as One(Miss Piggy) / Eight(Zelda) fluff?
--I hope there isn’t.
Suggest a title for a Seven(Sebastian) / Twelve(Gorgo) hurt/comfort fic.
--"The Story I Shot Myself Over."
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four(Crowley) to deflower One(Miss Piggy)?
--Something involving Demonic puppets, and a whole lot of beer.
Does anyone on your friends list read Seven(Sebastian) slash?
--No. See answer to number one, and the one below.
Does anyone on your friends list read Three(Felicity) slash?
--I hope they don’t, or I will hunt them down and shoot them.
Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven(Drizzt Do’Urden)?
--I don’t think so, but they should. I have (granted it was crappy, because I can't draw shit). Drizzt is my favorite character.
Would anyone on your friends list write Two(Belgarion) / Four(Crowley) / Five(Samus)?
--Not unless they were really, really, really wasted, and then suffered from a mental illness that made them lose touch of reality, and then wrote the biggest crossover in human history, and then huffed up a shitload of laundry detergent.
What might Ten(Satine) scream at a moment of great passion?
--"I LOVE YOU!" or "YES! YEEEESSSS!" …Like she did in the movie.
If you wrote a song-fic about Eight(Zelda), which song would you choose?
--I’m going to say "Barracuda" because that’s a really cool song. But it doesn’t fit her at all.
If you wrote a One(Miss Piggy) / Six(Haplo) / Twelve(Gorgo) fic, what would the warnings be?
--WARNING: If you are in love with your sanity, prepare to be traumatized.
What might be a good pick-up line for Two(Belgarion) to use on Ten(Satine)?
--Now THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about. XD "You wanna know why they call me Iron-Grip’s descendant?"
When was the last time you read a fic about Five(Samus)?
--Haven’t ever read one, actually. Never go near that section. Don’t know why.
What is Six's(Haplo) super-secret kink?
--The Kicksey-winsey. And Zifnab's big green dragon. Ehehehehe.
Would Eleven(Drizzt) get in bed with Nine(Yacko)? Drunk or sober?
--gouges eyes out- No. Just…no. Don’t even think it.
If Three(Felicity) and Seven(Sebastian) get together, who tops?
--Felicity. Because Sebastian is a crab. Easy enough.
What title would you give this fic?
--"Girls Gone Wild: Crabcake Edition."
Name three people on your friends list who might read it.
--Nobody, because I’m the only person who would, and after that last question, I don’t consider myself a friend anymore. O\OT.T
Name one person who should write it.
--Me, and only me. Or maybe Terry Pratchett. Just because.
How would you feel if Seven(Sebastian) / Eight(Zelda) was canon?
--I kill myself like a rockstar – dose to make myself feel better, crash, and then get out the nine-millimeter. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't. But it would involve suicide in one form or another.
Have you ever read any Six(Haplo) x Eight(Zelda) stories? If not, are you interested in reading one?
--No, and hell no.
Do you think Five(Samus) is hot? How hot?
--Samus is a girl, and she’s fictional. So no.
If Ten(Satine) has gotten Three(Felicity) pregnant, how do you think they would react?
--This is not biologically possible, and they would probably explode from the sheer impossible physics of it. If it were, somehow, biologically possible, they would would probably kill themselves.
Have you ever seen any stories pairing Twelve(Gorgo) with anyone?
--No. She is Leonidas’ Queen. It doesn’t go any other way. Then again, she did do it with the caveman-freako, so I guess it's not totally closed off. Even though I cringe at the thought.
How do you feel about Seven(Sebastian) x One(Miss Piggy)?
--It’s better than Sebastian and Felicity. That was just bad. I can’t believe I said that title, man. –shoots self again-
Which pairing do you prefer, Eleven(Drizzt) x Two(Belgarion) or Eleven(Drizzt) x Four(Crowley)?
--Neither. Because both make me die a little bit inside every time I hear them. I’ll go with the first one. Why? I don’t know. Both are equally revolting.
If Nine(Yacko) accidentally walked in when One(Miss Piggy) and Six(Haplo) were kissing, how do you think Nine would react?
--He would scream, and then he would laugh, and then make a joke out of it, and then cry because it’s disgusting.
Please write a short description for a story regarding Twelve(Gorgo) x One(Miss Piggy).
--I draw the line here. I will not answer this question without puking. I refuse to do it.
Any chance of One(Miss Piggy) hooking up with Eight(Zelda)?
--Fuck no.
If Three(Felicity) and Six(Haplo) are lovers, who do you think would be the one who'd break up first?
--Haplo. Don’t ask.
Please create a title for a story which pairs up Four(Crowley) and Twelve(Gorgo); will it be a sad or happy story?
--"The Serpent and the Queen" a slightly-happy-but-somehow-angsty half-shot.
In what situation would Two(Belgarion) scream his head off?
--When he finds out that Zandramas isn’t really dead and kidnaps his son. Again. Hahaha.
If you have to pick a theme song for Ten(Satine), what will the title be?
--"One Day I’ll Fly Away." Because that IS her theme song. Dumbass.
If you write a Twelve(Gorgo) x Five(Samus) x Four(Crowley) fanfiction, what will you write in the warning section?
--WARNING: Lemony freesssh. Hahahaha. Okay, here’s the real one: WARNING: This story will destroy your known universe. Stay away if thou hast any mind to keep it intact.
If Six(Haplo) was only allowed to say one sentence to Nine(Yacko), what do you think it would be?
--…"Do you ever shut up?" Haplo isn’t that talkative, though, so he’d probably say nothing. At least he isn’t talkative ‘til the end of the series.
Under what kind of situation would Eleven(Drizzt) kiss Three(Felicity)?
--If Felicity magically turned into Cattie-Brie. Or something. Or if he were dead. Either works.
Do you know anyone who has ever read a story pairing Five(Samus) and Ten(Satine)?
--No. And I hope I never will.
What kind of secret does Six(Haplo) seem like he would have?
--Oh, you know, the usual kind, the one where he’s a member of a secret race called Patryns that the Sartans cast into the Labryinth God-knows-how-long-ago, and that the whole thing is actually post-apocalypse Earth, and he's an escape from the Labyrinth set out to find the Patryns and destroy them, more or less. Heheh. Yeah. There were spoilers in there.
Two(Belgarion) and Nine(Yacko) were lovers, until Nine(Yacko) ran away with Four(Crowley). Two(Belgarion) was depressed, and then had a one-night stand with Ten(Satine). Two(Belgarion) later had a brief and unhappy relationship with Five(Samus). Finally, after getting some advice from Eight(Zelda), Two(Belgarion) was able to find true love with Seven(Sebastian). Please create a title for this story.
--…Wait, Garion is gay? When did this happen? He’s married to Ce’Nedra, dammit!
"Stolen Kisses: A Happy Tragedy" or "The Story I Shot Myself Over: Take Two".
Would you still read fanfics if Eight(Zelda) x Twelve(Gorgo) was the official pairing?
--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
THAT’S WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-(dies)-
;;--~~Lots of dying in there. O.o
Having a list of my favorite quotes would take too long to write up. So I give you one quote of the day or month, depending on how long it takes me to bother to change it.
(ahem)
THE QUOTE OF THE DAY IS...
"It's okay. No, really, it's fine. Seriously. Calm down. Just CALM DOWN. Just breathe, just -- I SAID CALM DOWN!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?" --Uncle Ross.
...AND THAT IS THE QUOTE OF THE DAY.
This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Bunny is my hero.
WTF HAPPENED TO MAH BUNNY?! O.O He disappeared...I'll have to find him again...
STOP THE PAIRING WARS!
By copying and pasting this in thy profile, thou vowest to respect other pairings and the people whom like them.
Thou shalt not insult them, explain why they can not be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.
Thou shalt have thine opinions, but shalt not insult pairings. Thou shalt avoid them if thou hatest them.
Thou shalt keep an open mind about stories even if thou despisest the pairing.
Thou shalt paste this into thy profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list: Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minomoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy The Mary-Sue Slayer, Random Little Writer, Larxene II, Dragons Ark, freakyanimegal456, Penamesolen, mandrakefunnyjuice.
Popularity is for pussies.
If you drink or have tried drinking alcohol, copy and paste this into your profile.
It looks like piss, it smells like piss, and it tastes like piss. Even the cheerleader beer. Never going near that shit again.
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have and insane friend copy this into your profile.
If think those kids should give that goddamned rabbit some friggin' Trix already, copy and paste this into your profile.
No. They should give me the Trix, because if they don't, I'm blowing that fucking rabbit's head off and sending it to Kellog in a paper bag.
If, because of the Leprechaun movies, Artemis Fowl, or Austin Powers, you can never look at Lucky Charms the same again, copy and paste this into your profile.
(shudders dramatically)
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Somebody interrupts me and BAM! My train of thought jumps the track and it's gone over the cliff in a matter of seconds. I don't have ADD, I just...I forgot what my point was. Nevermind.
If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn’t funny, copy and paste this into your profile.
...In the movies during Casino Royale, my aunt and I were having a little game where we would point out the obvious places where James (Daniel Craig) clearly wasn't hiding a gun-but-somehow-managed-to-look-dangerously-cool. The speedo scene on the beach, she says "oh, bet he's not hiding a gun there," and I say "I dunno, it looks like one," and we start laughing. People sitting in front of us were somewhat pissed, and though it was very funny, I can never look at James Bond the same way again.
If you’ve ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, post this in your profile.
If someone you know plots to start World War III, past this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you've walked into a wall and apologized to it, paste this to your profile.
Ten years gone by and they STILL won't let me live that down!
If you know someone with a super long name, paste this to your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, paste this in your profile.
I have a growing list.
If you have ever pushed a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
Dude, I trip over AIR.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
Mom threatened to sic the chaps in the white parkas at me. (Her way of saying 'you're fucking crazy, so get out of my face'.)
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.
It runs in the family. It really, really does. Say a word or phrase to me, and if it's in a song I know, I start to sing it. I'm not kidding. I start dancing, too, which can be sanity-damaging for the innocent passerby. But I have to do it. It's an instinct for me.
If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.
...Why the fuck else would I be on this site?
If you think there should be a prequel to Tales of Symphonia where Kratos or Mithos is the main character, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name. SheenaFujiFilm, Penamesolen. Freakyanimegal456, mandrakefunnyjuice
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
Some may consider it poetry. I consider it shit. I won't even grace it by considering it 'music'. It is simply 'shit'. Every time I see or think or hear rap, I go, 'oh, look. "Shit."'
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.
It...no, I'm not even going to say why.
.eliforp ruoy otno siht etsap dna ypoc siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you've ever walked into a window copy this onto your profile.
...FUCKING WINDEX!
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
It lies. I am not a nerd. I am a geek! Geek, I say! GEEK! There's a difference!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
(-bangs head repeatedly on desk-) Damn you, Marius, DAMN YOU!!
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.
If your day isn't complete until you've terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have the same birthday as someone famous, paste this to your profile.
I will NOT say who it is! (-sob fest-) I'm ashamed of it...
If you think tourists are annoying and stupid, paste this to your profile.
How many goddamned signs to we have to put up before they get it! DO NOT FEED THE FUCKING BEARS! How many tourists have to get mauled before they get the picture?!
If you are from Alaska/Canada/any northern area/nation in particular, and are sick of telling people that you do not live in an igloo/ride a polar bear to school/have a pet penguin/tame wild animals/have a dog sled team/drive said dogsled team to wherever you go about your daily business/have designated snow shovels/drive a snowmobile to work or school/don't speak native tongues/or any other myths and cliches those more-southern-area people like to believe and automatically assume about all people who live up north, copy and paste this in your profile.
I've never touched a snowmobile in my life, and penguins live on the south pole, you jackasses. I apologize if you are an intelligent person and read that. That included WAAAY to many slashes...
If you have been called an emo even though you're not, paste this to your profile.
Just. Because. My. Wardrobe. Consists. Of. Some. Black. Colored. Clothing. Does. Not. Mean. That. I. Am. Emo. Jeebus, it's like they never notice that I hardly wear black. I wear rainbow furry socks, guys, and I'm rather an optimist around real "emo" people (but am otherwise, yes, a bad pessimist). And besides, "emo" refers to "emotional", and since we're all human and share emotion to some extent, we're all a bunch of hyprocrites for calling eachother emos. And that brings me to:
Labels are not accurate. Labels (stereotypes) are for hypocrites. People that label eachother are hypocritical idiots who fail to realize that they themselves are becoming the very thing they label others with. They are for people who suffer from a lack of originality and intelligence. If you are unlabeled and/or people don't know what to think of you and your style, and are proud of it, or really just couldn't care less what people think about you at this point in your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have never watched Laguna beach, The O.C., or the Hills and never will, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Drama class, grade 7: Girls rambling about The O.C. I told them to shut the hell up, because nobody gave a damn about The O.C. They did. There was much rejoicing.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
When you live with my mother, you have to be.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
O_O NO. WAY.
If you are only reading this profile 'cause your bored and have nothing to do copy and paste this into your profile.
I'm eating a muffin. I bet you're jealous. Hahaha. You read that. Now you have to copy and paste it, becuase you just got bored. Sucker.
If you browse through people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile
Someday...I will find Belgarath, living in the Himalayas. And then I can prove my theory.
If you've ever bought a game because it had a freakin' awesome looking character in it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
What can I say, Ryu looked pretty damn cool, and he still looks pretty damn cool at that.
If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...) EverD, (When I did it, my friends said I defied physics. I don't know why though...), Jenova Remnant (afterwards, my friends called the event the floor hug), DestinyGamer (don't ask...) CommodoreZelda13, Mysticyoshie (At school with all my books) The Sage of Spirits, mandrakefunnyjuice (if yo' face, physics!)
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.
Another thing that runs in the family.
Rcneet sudteis sohw taht yuor mnid rades wdros as one wrod, not as snglie ltrtees, as lnog as the frsit and lsat lrettes are in tiehr rgiht pcales. So mnay polpee soluhd be albe to raed tihs; hewveor, tihs may not be the csae. If you are cpalbae of raidneg tihs, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor pflrioe.
If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not, copy this into your profile
If you want viewers of your profile to scroll endlessly down your copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
I--oh shit.
If you are smart enough to know what skanking is (and I'm not referring to the kind you're probably thinking of), and have done it on a street corner or at the mall or just any public place in particular at a random time, copy and paste this in your profile.
While I was waiting for the bus, listening to Sublime on my phone. In the mall, once again listening to my phone, waiting for a movie to start with my friends. In the theater as well, waiting for the previews to end. It's fun, try it some time. It's not hard to do. Just jump around, kick in rhythm, and wave your arms and stuff. It's easy. I can't dance at ALL, but I do it anyway because it makes me feel happy. :D
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table then put this on your profile.
If you are one of the few teens who don't have or want to have a myspace/facebook, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have nothing else to do but sit at the compy and write copy and paste its, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a professional B-average student, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you believe that Mountain Dew is the nectar of life and have recieved a kidney infection from it, but still drink it anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
I'll admit that the kidney infection got me to start drinking at least a glass of water a day, though. But I still drink gallons of Mountain Dew per month. Sad, really, but I am addicted to it.
If you have a caffeine addiction, copy and paste this into your profile.
I go through withdrawal if I don't get some caffeine in the morning.
If you enjoy making jokes at your own expense (self-deprecating form of humor), copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been called a vulgar bitch by a religious person and laughed at the irony, copy and paste this into your profile.
What douchebags. Hahahaha.
If you think your dad is freaking awesome, copy and paste this into your profile.
Actually, my step-dad, and he and my mom got divorced. But still, he was freaking cool. He got into a cussing match with me and wiped me on the floor with some shit I've never even heard before. And then gave me a pat on the back...and then grounded me. But it was still pretty cool.
If your dad has ever rooted for the villans you were fighting in a video game, copy this into your profile.
"What's wrong with the Covenant?" It's because the Prophet has a bad case of what I like to call, 'testicle chins'. "So? It just means he has extra balls. He probably catches chicks like crazy. You never know, the Covenant ladies might dig the whole ball-chinian thing. But I think they all have something going on here, with the whole Flood-universe-domination plan. I'd root for them." ...Shut up and get off of my Xbox, blasphemer. "Hey, I'm not the one at fault here. You're the one who's discriminating against people with funny chins." You have a butt chin. Shut up. "Shannon! Come in here and teach your daughter about chin-discrimination!!" Oh God...
"What are you doing?" Watching the ending of the game. "Is that Ganon? Then who's that other fat guy?" The King of Hyrule. He was my boat before. Now shut up, I'm trying to listen. "It's just music. There aren't even voiceovers. Man, what kind of lame game is this?" An awesome one, thank you very much, and yes, there ARE things to listen to. Like the music. So shut up and let me listen, damn it. "Why'd you have to kill Ganon?" ...What? "I mean, the guy had good reasons. He wanted Hyrule back. I was hoping the whole place would resurface and give all us old-time Zelda fans a tribute, but oh no, look at this new disappointment. Ganon fails. All because you killed him." And finally ended the game and didn't die, not once, in the process? Is that such a crime? "Of course it is. All gaming rules dictate you have to die at least six times per Zelda dungeon. It's just classic. And when the villians have good reasons for what they're doing, you're supposed to feel sympathetic as you watch them die. But here Ganon gets encased in stone and dies with all the rest of Hyrule. How depressing and supremely climatic is that?" ... "And furthermore, I know for a fact you died AT LEAST once." I MEANT that I didn't die once fighting Ganon. It was pretty standard battle, and therefore easy. And NO, I DO NOT have to feel sorry for Ganon, because HE'S A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND IT'S JUST A GAME. It doesn't even matter. "...Then why did you play it? I mean, I feel sorry for Ganon. You're just being heartlessly cold now. Just because someone is pixelated doesn't mean they don't have pixel-ey feelings." ...Alright, I'm going for a walk. "You do that while the rest of us wallow in despair because we didn't get Hyrule back." ...It's the way the plot goes, it's the way the plot goes, it's the way the plot goes, can't do anything about it, can't do anything about it...
What the-?! This dude just won't lie down and die already! "What are you whining about now?" Yggdrasill! He won't just...DIE already! Jesus! He keeps coming back! "Huh. Does he wear white spandex?" Yes. "And have long blonde hair?" Yes. "And sissy wings?" Gee, you're psychic. "Sounds like Phantasia all over again. He's obviously gay and you should have no trouble kicking his lily-ass." That's the problem, he's freaking tough and keeps on knocking Genis down just when I'm about to have him cast meteor-storm. (hours later) AHA! I BEAT HIM!! MWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! "...This ending blows. Replay it and get something better. We're not supposed to feel bad for the gay kid in the end." Oh no, not this again... "Only wants his sister back, huh? What, did you kill her too?" I'm going out for a walk again... "You never role-play these games - you have to role-play them to really get the meaning out of them, and feel bad for the guy in the end, even if he is a flipper. Hey, where are you going?" It's the way the plot rolls, it's the way the plot rolls, it's just the way the plot rolls, DAMN IT!!
What the fucking flying phone--?! Whoa, pause, hold it, how in the hell...? "Oh great, what are you fighting now?" A giant...thing...ish... Well, look. (unpauses and shows giant Daedra lord Mehrunes Dagon.) "Jesus Christ. How do you kill it?" I use the internet, that's how. "Cheats?" Yup. And I know just the site. "Didn't you already use the Infinite Gold cheat with that Dorian guy at the beginning? Isn't that enough." No. It is never enough. "It's like a disease, you and these cheats. Have you ever gone through an entire game without looking up the guide or using cheats?" Yes. "Oh really? What one?" Fable. Mariocart. Metroid Prime - the first one. Ocarina of Time. Need more? "Whatever. How many times have you tried killing this Daedra Lord, whatshisname?" I haven't. "Then you're not allowed to use cheats yet. "...What?" You heard me. No using the computer for a walkthrough on this game anymore." But I-- "No buts. Basic gaming principles. Die five more times trying and maybe I'll let you get on." ...Fine. I'll die a few more times. "At least five." At least...five... twenty minutes later... OMFGWTH!! "Wow. Resulting to text language so soon?" YESS! GTFO U SMFB!! "Why don't you let me try?" ten minutes later... "Easier than pie." Pie isn't that easy by the record. How'd you do it? "I observed my surroundings and didn't bother attacking the guy. Honestly, what in the world possessed you to start attacking that giant? He'll just squish you like a grape." That's very comforting. Now can we watch the cutscene at the end? three minutes later... "Wasn't Martin the heir to the Emperor's throne? I remember your mother saying something about that when she played this through." Yeah. He turns into the avatar of the Dragon God and dies, encased in stone. "What a gyp." Definitely. "He should have lived to rule the Empire. Now there's nobody to wear the amulet and the Empire will go into even more chaos than before. What kind of sick post-storyline are they implying here?!" I agree totally. "You know, this could have turned out differently if you'd done things different in the beginning and if you were a different class." What the--no it wouldn't, it would have ended the same way regardless! People would have reacted to me differently, yes, but that's about it! The plot would roll the same way! "And you would know this how?" Because...because I read ahead on the guide. "Aha. The truth is out. RESTRICTION. And on top of that, you have to live with the guilt that you caused the story to end this way." No I didn't. I followed the main plot to the letter. "Sure you did. And that's why Martin died, is that it? It was all the Daedra Lord's fault?" No, it's not--Daedra are by nature evil! "Not in Morrowind." This isn't Morrowind!! It's Elder Scrolls IV, set in the Imperial Province of Cyrodiil!! "You know something, I bet if you'd joined the Daedra cult under this lord of evil guy he wouldn't have destroyed the Imperial City and Martin would have lived." Oh my god, I am SO not going over this with you! Gimme my damn controller and play it through yourself to see how YOU'D do, okay?! "Touchy, touchy." AAAAUUGGH!!
"...Why are you bald?" What? I have lots of hair. "You're bald and covered in tattoos. What the hell." Some-ngh-some idiot girl tricked me into getting a fugly Pudding Basin haircut, so I went for clean shaven. "You have a goatee." Yeah, I spent a few years in prison. It grew. Sue me. "No thanks. And -- hehehe, that guy has a heart over his head." ...Ahahahahhaa! Dude, no way! "Talk to him, see what happens." Fourty minutes later... I now pronounce you husband and husband! Mwhahahaha! "You are such a weirdo." Now my lovely manly wife can polish my trophies. Ehehehehe. "You know, despite the funniness of the situation, it's kind of gross at the same time. Too bad you can't be a girl character." W-What?! Aw, you call ME gross? "I'm just saying, just saying. I'mma go down into Homer and pick up a few supplies, you need anything?" Nope. Maybe a frappucino. "I don't know how you two can stand those things..." A day later... "What's this?" Sssssh! End of the game! "...you have a halo." Point? "You're a goody-goody two-shoes." Once again, your point? "Why don't you ever try to see it from the other guy's point of view? Jack of all Blades, right?" He was evil and trying to take over the world. I had to either kill my sister or get rid of the sword! I did the good thing, what's there to complain about? "For one, you're a gay sorcerer." Gayness aside, you always play sorcerers. "Shut up. Two, that sister was asking for it." No she wasn--Oh my god, you're just trying to get into another arguement! TRASPARENCY! No, no, no, no, I will NOT fall for this one! "You already did." NO! Uh-uh, I'm down to the pond, if you need me, I'll be in my happy place. "Neh. You'll be back in a few minutes with a good comeback, so don't try to deny it."
"What are you playing now?" Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. "Nifty. What's your grouping or did you make your own?" Made my own with enhanced credits and experience. The Smart Asses. Wolverine, Human Torch, Iceman, Spiderman, Deadpool, and Iron Man for kicks. "Ah. On normal or hard?" Normal. Easy was too easy. Hard is locked. "Oh?" Says so in the guide mom bought with this thing. "So who's the villain here?" ...Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil? "Isn't that name copyrighted by now?" It should be. It's been used often enough. "So what's his big plan? How far are you into it?" Actually? I'm nearing the end. I have to beat Galactus. Doom stole Thor's pappy's power and stuff and is screwing up the space-time continuum. You know, the usual stuff. Ripping the fabric of reality and all that. "Why?" ...Why do you want to know? "Just curious. Haven't played this one yet." It...never said why...Doom is just evil. "Well all evil has a reason. If my comic knowledge serves me well, Doom was in college with Mr. Fantastic and he built a machine to commune with his dead mother in the underworld and stuff, but it blew up in his face and he blamed Mr. Fantastic for it. Am I right? Or am I right? I'm right, say it. Hah. I am the Dr. Phil of all comics." Good God, You are SUCH a geek. "Blame Tim." He didn't have the stash of comics you did. I would know. I asked him. "Well, anyway, my geekiness aside, Doom's taking over the world and a bunch of spandex-clad Marvel heroes are all that's left to stop him, the whole 'you're the last hope of the world' gig, correct?" That's what it always is. "They need to make a game where you're on Doom's side, because it looks like he and his cronies are kicking your ass and outsmarting you repeatedly." It wouldn't sell. Doom's not as cool as Nick Fury, for one, and people want good to win. "Not all people. I'd like to see Doom or Loki kick some ass in these games and actually, you know, have a real complete strategy instead of all these half-assed plots where there's always an obvious weakness." Aw, shit, he's going into this again...
"Oooh, graphic. I like. What's this?" BioShock. "Interesting. Is this a cutscene?" Unfortunately. "I take it you're not killing that guy yourself?" No. I was under mind control by the guy I thought was helping me, who turned out to be the real bad guy. "Why is he telling you to kindly kill him with a golf club?" Because that's the mind control phrase. 'Would You Kindly'. Golf club makes it more dramatic, I guess. Andrew Ryan - the guy I just bashed the living shit out of, turned out to be my father who accidentally got this whore pregant and stuff and they used a hyper-growth thing on me, so I'm actually like two years old but have all the knowledge of this...nevermind, it's complicated. "So I gather. What's this Ryan guy's deal, then?" Created this city with a vision in mind and then let it drown in corruption, more or less. "Sounds fun. I'll leave you to it." ...Thank God... three days later... "Finished this yet?" Not quite. I'm busy taking pictures of dead people for a sycophantic artist that wants to complete this giant thing I'm facing. "Fun fun. How many more left?" This is the last...one. "Lame picture." Yeah, well, they're polariods. "What, too cheap for digital?" ...This is based in the fifties, so yeah. Hasn't been invented yet. "Oh. Alternate history thing. I got it. I'll have to play this after you, it looks interesting." It is. The fact that this whole city of Rapture is underwater doesn't even have to do with the game, it's got this sickly awesome storyline that makes you think. "Wait, you're actually role-playing this thing?" Well, sort of. Some of the stuff would creep me out too much to role-play. "What's with the little girl and the diver-suit guy on the cover?" It's a Little Sister and the Big Daddies that guard them. You kill the big daddies and either harvest the little sisters for their ADAM, or save them and get slightly less ADAM. "Ah. How many are there?" Two or three per level. "So do you save them or harvest them?" Save them, duh. I'm not that sick. "Sure. This coming from the girl who killed the sister and took over the world in Fable for fun on the second play through. Who's bunny-mask man?" The guy I was taking pictures for. Sander Cohen. "Turn it up, I can barely hear." ...Aw, pssh, all he gives me is some lame tonic? You know, what, EAT CROSSBOW ASSHOLE. "What the--that was random. Why'd you kill him? He gave you your reward!" Because he was evil and twisted, and I want a better reward, godamnit. All that for a lousy... "You really need to sort out your priorities." Three more days later... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE!! DIEDIEDIEDIE, FONTAINE!! "What's all this shouting? I'm trying to watch Anger Management in here." I finally beat the boss. "Creepy. Don't shout it out so loud. What's with all the little girls stabbing him with needles?" They're sucking out his ADAM and I--WHAT THE FREAKING HELL!? "..." Wha--how did--but I-- (watches the evil ending) But I saved all the Little Sisters, and-- "Saved them, did you? Looks like you killed them to me, and then took over the world. Nice going." How could--this ending sucks! I only harvested ONE FREAKING LITTLE SISTER, damn it, but that was at the beginning when I didn't know which one did what!! "Role playing my ass. You just killed a bunch of little girls for power. How does it feel? Looks like Ryan and Fontaine were right and that Russian scientist was wrong, wrong, wrong." ... "VERY nice going, destroying everything everyone ever worked for and all. Now, IF YOU DON'T MIND and aren't busy killing more cute little girls, I'm going to watch the rest of my movie." ...I'm going over to the neighbor's. "You and your mother, both soulless..."
...Yeah, there's been a couple of times...
If your dad gets a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile.
If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your dad has ever pulled an April Fool's joke on himself, copy and paste this into your profile.
He put his Pepsi in a mug and warmed that up by accident instead of his coffee. I laughed my ass off.
If your mother has ever threatened to send you to a convent, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother ever remnisces about high school days and you have to plug your ears in order to drown out the meaningless blather, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother has ever really, truly, and honestly scared you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think your mother is the Wicked Witch of the West and/or are looking for a secret ritualistic sacrifical altar/torture chamber in your basement/parent's closet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've found horrifying things in your parent's closet or under their bed (i.e. sex toys, whips, PlayBoy magazines, leather kinks, etc.) and wish to every god available that you'd never looked in there, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are convinced that you are the only sane one in your family but realize with a pang of sadness that the world is mad, and you included, and thereby are insane, but are secretly proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your mother is an erratic freak but you love her anyway, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your honest-to-God worst fear is that of Furbies for a completely legitimate reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
Some people have hydrophobia, or arachnophobia. I have furbiophobia. I'm serious. I'm not joshing you, I'm dead serious. They honestly, truly, really scare me.
If you are NOT a homophobe and have some friends that are gay, copy and paste this into your profile.
Nothing wrong with being gay. I like gay people. They have a neat perspective on things. I just don't like it when they tell me about their personal life, because I admit it grosses me out.
~~--I might add some more stuff when I get bored, because this profile thing is my going to be my personal guinea pig regarding random shit. Parfait. See? I told you. Random shit. There's a lot of it. And hey, if you don't want to deal with it, by all means, don't deal with it. Skip the bio altogether. I'm just going to have more and more random shit to add, though, so if you're biased against random shit or don't like it, tough luck buddy. That's all there is. Remember, I never aim to offend. I just happen to do so accidentally. If you're offended by me, I'm glad. What? It's healthy to have people who don't like you. Any jackass can go through life without making enemies, right? Moving along...
Oh yeah, almost forgot about this. I've got a FictionPress account - Bambi Queen of Black. (Don't ask). Have a deviantart account too, but I don't really do anything on it.
--Anyway, so far I have four stories going on. Deathcatcher, Symphonic Tall Tales, The Daily Stalker, Vertigo, and Through the Eyes of Fred A. Cricket (they’re all ToS fics; ToS is just easy for me to write for). The last one is a maybe on the continuation scale - I might or might not continue it. Since it’s a gift fic for freakyanimegal456, I received her permission to continue it. But I really don’t know how long it will go on. I’m having tons of fun writing it, though. XD I also have this poem that I wrote in conjunction with Deathcatcher called The Dreamcatcher, but that’s not really important. I just felt like posting it. Anyway, here’s a little summary of my stories and stuff. Why? Because I felt like it and I didn’t have anything else to do.
Deathcatcher - “Welcome to My Life. To your right is Exhibit A, where a Death Tarot Card is seen. To your left is Exhibit B, where I find myself suddenly trapped in another world.” Rated T for language. Not a self insertion.
--;;Main character: Stella Devereaux. This is not a self-insert. Stella and I differ greatly. Her speech is loosely based off of mine, perhaps, but that's about it as far as similarities go. Her history is, yes, loosely based off of my own, but there are significant differences - I have no cousin named Gaylord that I am aware of, I don't have any relatives named George, and my mother is an erratic freak and cannot thus be compared to Stella's. There are many other differences as well, but I'm too lazy to list them all. It'd take too much space. Now about the character: Stella is cynical at times, pessimistic, sarcastic, and can come across as an inconsiderate snob. If you notice this and are concerned, no need to fear, she's supposed to be like that. But at other times, she actually can be optimistic. Usually when nobody else is looking on the bright side. In other words, she's always thinking on the opposite side of what everyone else is thinking. Sort of like an eternal devil's advocate, but maybe not that extreme. Obviously enough, this is my main story, so I devote the most time to it. I try and get the chapters updated as soon as possible, but I'm a magnet for disasters and Murphy's Law haunts me like a shadow.
As for plot details, I can't disclose much until I get later. If you want spoilers (not recommended - only if it's REALLY bugging you where I'm going with all of this), PM me about it. I can tell you the way the plot will work out, how the characters will end up, my ideas for a sequel if and when, if ever, I decide to do one...whatever you want. Also, if you have ideas for this story, if you have something you want to see happen, if you want to have a character say something, if you want me to write a chapter and dedicate it to you, if you would like to request a muse or be the muse yourself for one chapter, if you would like to flame me or praise me or tell me how I can improve (I really need the last one), or anything else I can think of, PM me about that to or leave it in a review.
I AM WORKING ON THIS! I AM NOT DEAD! I'll come up with the next chapter soon, it's just taking a lot longer than I thought it would because I've been grounded a lot lately...;;--
Symphonic Tall Tales - “Ever wonder what would happen if I actually DID own Namco?” Rated T for strong language and other themes. Parody.
--;;No OC’s, other than the little random ones I decide to put in there and give suddenly kill them off for no reason. Oh, and the hobo-Chosen-replacement for the first few chapters. What can I say? It’s just another parody like any other. It's a total crackfic. I just write it when I get bored and need a laugh. It’s my way of exercising my author-powers over poor and unfortunate characters. I got really bored one day and decided to post it for the hell of it. I don’t care if it sucks or if it doesn’t. I don’t even care if people review it. I just write it for fun, like I write with everything else. (: ;;--
The Daily Stalker - "Going mad with power takes a lot of time and TLC. But when presented with an item that grants Ultimate Power, madness can't help but leap forward. Rated T because the game is. Not a crackfic; it's just the way I write."
--I'll work on this later.
Through the Eyes of Fred A. Cricket - “Challenge fic for Freakyanimegal456. I've managed to get ahold of Fred the Wonder Cricket's diary...ever wonder what he writes in there? Let's find out...”
--;;Truth be told, I've read Freaky's stories since before I actually came to this site. Discovered them about a year ago when I finally checked this site out because I was bored enough. Spent the whole damn day reading through Grandkid and the rest of 'em until I finally got off my but and established an account. Thus began my ToS fanfiction craze. Mwhahahaha. Anyway, like it says, it was a sort of gift fic that Freaky requested of her readers, if they wanted to. I'm a fan of Fred's, which is why I wrote it. But I've run out of ideas for it, so I might not continue it any further. I'm trying to think of stuff in a Fred-Mentality (in other words, put yourself in an aspiring dictator-cricket's shoes) but I've just lost my magic for the moment. So, until I get more inspiration, it's not going any further. I will acccept any and all ideas. But I still get a kick out of it. I'm a fan of Fred's, which is why I wrote it.;;--
The Dreamcatcher - “This goes along with my ToS story, Deathcatcher. Just a poem that I wanted to post, nothing more. Written in Edgar Allan Poe's style of The Raven.”
--;;Just read the freaking thing.;;--
Vertigo - "Summary in development."
--;;On hiatus at the moment. I have a good plot for it, actually. And I'm thinking now one-sided Sheelloyd might be good on her part. So that's still debatable. I'm still not sure whether I want to include the more mystical elements of the Tales of Symphonia universe in it, though. I like it as modern. But then again, I have a really good plot in mind if I did include mana and all that stuff. Sparingly, of course. But still. I'm not sure. I'm open to suggestion, if anybody cares. I'll update again when I get Deathcatcher to a reasonable point, and considering how much I procrastinate these things and how slow I update, that's going to be awhile... Sorry folks. Blame my limited imagination.;;--
--Hmm. One last thing -- I'm going to mention a few stories here (because the list of good authors goes on forever). This is a little special mention for some of the stories that I think deserve it.
The Restoration Series: By Alaia Skyhawk. If you have not read this, you have sinned. Prequel is the first, Hope is the second, and Path is the third. If you haven't checked this out yet, you cannot consider yourself a Tales of Symphonia fan. I'm that serious. Go read it. Now.
Tales of the Departed: ...What are you doing? Get off my freaking profile and read this already. Seriously. Get out. I don't like you if you haven't read this. Canada Cowboy is amazing. So go read it. I'd list the reasons why this story deserves so much praise, but it would take to long. Suffice to say that I found it actually before I joined the site, and it's one of the reasons that I did. Yes. It's that important. Now go read it.
Sword Saint: By The Lord of the Words. Baldur's Gate. Again, man, what are you doing at my profile? Go read his stuff. Not just this, but all of Horse's works. Just go. You have to go and repent if you haven't.
The Golden Power: Seriously. Get off of my profile and go read this. NOW. By DBAinsw. If I listed all the reasons why I favorited this story, it would take too long. It really would.
Legend: I.K.A. Valian. Brilliant author. I will hunt you down and personally chop off your arm if you don't read this. Okay, so maybe I won't. But I'll threaten you with titanium sporks. And trust me, titanium sporks can be veerrryyy painful.
I'll add more later when I feel like it.
WHEW!--If you read through all of that, I’m impressed. You deserve a cookie. No, not a cookie. Something bigger. You deserve a cake. I didn’t even read through all of that, and I WROTE the damn thing. Well, there you have it. A little slice of me typed up and ready to go, served on a cyber-platter in electronic cubits. You can take it home and cuddle with it it’s so small. Ugh, I take that back. Don’t do that. That’s just creepy. Well, anywho, toodles for now. R&R my stories if you want to, but know that I just write for the hell of it regardless of what people think. Oh, and I encourage flames. No, really, I do. They make me laugh, and I could always use a good cheering up. So go ahead, make my day... (:
Bye bye.
Mandrakefunnyjuice has left the buil--
WHOA, WAIT, STOP, I'M NOT FINISHED YET--
ehh.
Okay, here's something that I'm going to try for the summer, because I've got WAAAYYY too much time on my hands. I know I should be working on Deathcatcher, and I am, trust me...it's just taking me awhile to get caught up with my imagination. I spent the last month and a half just writing out the OUTLINES for chapters nineteen through twenty-three, and I'm trying to catch up with my mind. I'm working on it, don't desert me because I haven't updated, because I CANNOT LIVE IF YOU DESERT ME AND LEAVE ME ALL ALONE. Okay, so maybe I can live, but I'll be depressed and it'll take me even LONGER to update. Gasp. So yes. Keep anticipating. It shall not be in vain!
But anyway, I've also been spending a considerable amount of time on plain ole' original fiction. I've decided to warp my ideas into fanfiction so you may enjoy it. First one on the list is The Daily Stalker, which will be five chapters long at most. I first wrote it as three pages by hand. Yeah. Sad. So I'm adding a bunch of stuff and reorienting it into the ToS universe, which I think is my forte at the moment.
As for what else I'm doing, I've been spending a lot of family time, so I haven't had much time to write pretty much at all during June. I wrote the Daily Stalker thing awhile back but finally got the time to post the damn thing. My uncle, his wife, and his three kids dropped by. The oldest is eight. Imagine my chagrin. They left, and then my MOM (dun dun dun) came by and we spent a lot of time going places and doing stuff, none of which the places and stuff involved my compy. God forbid it, but yes, I went hiking up Timpanogos, and I think I just about died. I kept swearing to her "GODDAMNITALL,MOTHERI'MMAKEEEELYOUWHENDISISOVER!!" over and over again. In fact anything that she took me to which involved any strenuous exercises, even the freaking themepark, I just about died and swore the above expressive oath over and over again.
So I've had a busy life in the summer. It didn't go as I planned. My bad. DX I'm still working on chapter nineteen of Deathcatcher. I swear on my worthless name with my worthless honor that I am still working on it. It's hard for me to capture it the way I want to, so I think no matter how hard I try, that upcoming chapter is going to be a bit awkward.
But, eh. Oh well. Ladedadee life goes on.
Okay, now the REAL bye bye.
Ahem.
Bye bye.
Mandrakefunnyjuice has really left the building this time.
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
Poll: For people who happen to read Deathcatcher: Do you guys want a sequel? I know it's way ahead of time, but I gotta know. Vote Now!
