DJ BLEACH (Yeeep! I went back to my old username.)

NOTICE: My internet is screwing up so terribly, that I can not submit any new stories to the site. I can still update and post new chapters of My Puppetmaster and Sonic Timeline, but until I figure out how to fix it, you can say goodbye to The Party Never Ends and 25 Things you Shouldn't Do to Shadow. I'm truely very very sorry. sad face

Update as of 07/20/09:Well, I'm kinda stuck on what exactly to do next in My PuppetMaster, so don't expect an update for at least a few days. Very sorry.

Name:Call me Bleach please.

Age:Around 14 (You'd guess I'm 5 though. Heh heh.)

Gender:Male (You'd never guess this. My hair is way too long. XD)

Nationality:Irish

Personality in 5 words or more:Childish, hyper, optimistic, way too immature for my own good.

My stories:Listen, I DO use OCs. But I SWEAR, they will NEVER be the main focus (Okay, so Darkest After Dusk was a bit 'Dusk-centered' but she's not the main main focus.) and I will NEVER use more than one (or two RARELY) at a time. So please, even if you hate OCs, just give me a chance.

Favorite animal:Rabbits and Raccoons FTW! And Wolves, Pandas, Monkeys, Frogs, etc. But mostly rabbits and raccoons.

Favorite Music:Electronic Dance Music. Favorite Favorite is a tie between Happy Hardcore and GABBER, both sub forms of Hardcore Techno.

My Current Favorite Song:"Rush Hour Junglist (Raver's Choice 1)" a very very nice, uplifting, and somewhat classic sounding Drum n' Bass track.

Random Quote of the Day: "Come with me...To a land of fantasy..." opening lines from 'Techno Wonderland' by Raver's Choice.

STORY AND UPDATE INFO:

My Puppetmaster (Act I is now Complete, Act II in progress)

Act II is shaping up to show conflict between Vanilla and G.U.N., apparently, Vanilla can't run from her job for long. Act II, scene I, "Trapped in Another Nightmare" coming soon.

Sonic Timeline, teh Moar You Know (Chapter 3)

Yes yes, I should've had this up a lot sooner, but again, I'm a bit stuck. I'm currently writing the race scene between Sonic and Metal Sonic from Sonic CD. Of couse it will feature more oddball humor the story is known for, and promises to be halarious. Up soon.

25 THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO TO--

Now, to tell you the truth, after a reviw by Lord Kelvin, I almost scrapped this series completely. I wanted to expand my humor skills to bigger projects, insted of just making joke after joke with a list. But I know I can do both, so these will continue. This time, my victim is the infamous, 'Shadow the Hedgehog'! And of course, there's the obligitory, "Don't call him emo." XD

The Party Never Ends (Prolouge complete, chapter 1 in progress.):

Cream questions her thoughts on music. Just what is music? An arrangement of guitar or drums? Spoken word lyrics with choppy beats? No, the rabbit does not believe it. Every night he spends her time deep in the underground, feeling the hand of God at her back as he is pushed into the chaotic malestorm of Music and Dancers. As the song begins to come to a close, Cream looks up at the DJ, and smiles...

Why Pirates Shouldn't Miss Sleep (New Story, Oneshot under construction)

As smart as he is, Tails is still just a kid, with an imagination like any other. One day he spends groups with Charmy and Cream while Sonic babysits. However, convinced that Tails can handle things, he runs off to...where ever he goes to. But neither of them know that Tails often stays up late working on projects...and sometimes, he hallucinates...especially when people suggest things. What does Charmy suggest? A little game of pirates? Careful guys, Tails might take things a little too far...Humor/Action

Thunder (Oneshot under construction)

Sonic thinks Amy has gone crazy lately. Apparently, her maternal instincts have kicked in (despite the fact she has no children. Maybe she IS crazy.), and now she's only focusing on Tails as a child. 'Yes, he's only 8, but he's got an IQ bigger than both of ours combined.' says Sonic, but the poor girl won't listen to reason, and the hedgehog is stuck babysitting. However, Sonic fails to realize that as smart as he is, Tails IS just a kid. And like every kid, he has his own worst fears. A flash in the sky sparks off a chain reaction full of Sonic/Tails brotherly. For lovers of dramatic, brotherly moments between the two. Drama/Hurt/Comfort.

Strawberry Fields (Very long oneshot. NOT A ROMANCE STORY. Very very dramatic.)

'With the dangerous life we live, taking down Eggman and his robots, it wouldn't suprise me if Tails would ever face the barrel of a gun. It would suprise me however, if I was the one pulling the trigger. I'm sorry they treated you that way. I'm sorry this is the only way out. I'm...sorry I have to do this...' Drama/Hurt/Comfort Sonic/Tails

Mothers' Day (Currently forming idea)

Even time has passed since her death. The kit is still endlessly haunted by the flooding memories. And every year he has the same personal crisis. Though he may not realize it, he's crying out for help. It's one of those times when a boy needs his mother. Sad that he doesn't have one...not anymore...Hurt/Comfort/Drama, Tails/Rouge

Let's Roll With This House (Oneshot)

What happens when a friendship that has stood the test of time is ripped asunder by a cruel change in fate? Sonic and Tails thought they would never know. But nobody is that clarivoyant, and now this unbreakable bond will be put to the ultimate test.

No One's Son (Oneshot or full story? Still deciding.)

Vanilla stares down Rosemary Prower, her mind slowly unravelling at her words.

"Listen Vanilla, I know you've become attatched to him, but Tails is my son. I'm sorry Cream died, but he's not your responsibility."

Vanilla glares back. One could practically see the flames in her eyes, "Hmhmhmhmm...You don't get it, do you Rosemary? The moment Cream and Tails became friends, that little fox of yours was like a son to me. And now that Cream is gone, Tails is all I have left."

"W-what are you doing?!"

"I won't let you take him away from me. Tails is my son now..."

Horror/Drama Tails/Vanilla

Gotta Love Eggman! (New story, currently forming idea)

Eggman finally realizes that every robot he creates will simply be destroyed by Sonic and his friends. Devastated, he looks for a new way of icome, or at least to keep himself from getting bored. After he buys an old TV station, he starts making his own television programs. Sonic doesn't trust the man, but everyone seems to love the new, "Eggman Network". Is this another one of Eggman's plots, or just another primetime TV slot? Humor/Action(Currently just an idea, no real work on the story yet.)

LONG TRAIN RUNNIN' (New story, currently forming idea)

Trains can't stop at such a speed. Especially with all the polydrug use made by the riders. Flashing lights and a crowded room make this ride a fast trip to nowhere. Where the ride stops, no one cares. They're in it for the adrenilline rush...Action/Mystery(currently just an idea, no real work on the story yet.)

All the Food is POISON!! (New story, just an idea, most likely won't see the light of day.)

Crackfic where Silver and Shadow must find out why all the water has been infected with fire. Most likely will never be written.

Section for OC Lovers or Haters:

If you are VERY against OCs, I understand, so I shall post my stories that have OCs, and that don't have OCs.

With OCs:

Darkest After Dusk, My Puppetmaster (Dusk NOTE:Dusk is a very minor part of My Puppetmaster as of now.)

The Gothic Queen (Alice, Charlie)

A Vow to the Revolution (Bayrel)future story

All other stories are main cast only.

SONIC INFO:

Absolute fave character:BIG. Yes, I fking LOVE BIG! AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT! This cat needs more love!

Fave Characters:Cream, Vanilla, Tails, Mighty, Ray, Nack, Mephiles, Eggman (Ya, I like villans, so friggin' what?)

Characters I don't like:Strangely, none. Not even Sally (she's naked! How can I hate her?) But I suppose I don't like how they killed off Emerl in is FIRST GAME.

Fave Sonic Game:Sonic Heroes, those levels were AMAZING, and the soundtrack kicked ass also.

Sonic Games I don't like:Sonic Spinball (Game Gear ver.), Sonic and the Black Knight (Don't get me wrong, the game is awesome and fun, but who the hell's idea was it to blend Sonic, Mideval times, and sword fighting?! Those things don't really mix!)

Couples I like:Just about anything. Hell, I even read a SilverXBig paring once and thought it was neat.

THE OBLIGITORY COPY & PASTE SECTION:

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
They are telling me to do things...like laugh and dance and sing!

If you LOVE VGCats, copy and paste this on your profile and add your name to this list, Bleach the Raver Bunny

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
Uhh...duh. Why else would I be here?

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you like art, copy/paste this onto your profile.

If you think Amy should be with Sonic, paste this onto your profile.

If you think Amy should be with Shadow, paste this onto your profile.

If you think Amy should be with Tails, paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think Twilight is Awesome, paste this onto your profile.
YES, I'M A GUY WHO LIKES TWILIGHT!

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. Mine is just Bleach, Shelby's and Erica's (My two bestest buddies in the whole world!) are Shelb, and Erika, or ERiKA.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing yourbutt off.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutley no reason, copy and paste this into your profile...I do it every day! Right now even! HAHAHA!

If you think that girl in the Eggo Waffle commercial should give her father some of those stupid waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile...actually, she never knew he was there...so it's really not her fault...

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile..I feel so stupid sometimes...

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Sdrawkcab llew daer nac I .eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! ESPECIALLY NOT RABBITS! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

One of my current favorite characters is a character no one would give a second thought too. If you like a character no one would give a second thought too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think like Albert Einstein and agree that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder, copy and paste this into your profile. Murder is murder! Circumstances don't matter!

If you believe that grammar and spelling are important copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If I was dead, would you be reading this right now?!

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. "Because when I arrive, I-I bring the fire, make you come alive!"

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life copy and paste this onto your profile. Almost every happy hardcore song there is.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or mat not suck, copy and paste this onto your profile. I suck...

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile...Uh, Thank ya, thank ya very much, uh huh huh.

If you are a self-proclaimed genius, copy and paste into your profile, and add your name to the list: Valbino, miin hoshi,Witchdoctor42, Cocoapufflover, Satashi Smith, DJ BLEACH

98 of teens have been drunk or high. Paste this into your profile if you like bagels.

95 percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, deathxbyxdawnxgurl, weasleybabe24, ga nat nat, evil older sister, Frozenfan, slygirl16, JForward, TARDISWhore, Rose, Rokudaime Kunoichi, King-Shadow's-Gothic-Queen, Sonic the Shapeshifter, Satashi Smith :3, DJ BLEACH

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you do not buy into all the fear about marijuana, and believe that it's stupid that people are still against it even after it's been proven to be better than alcohol and cigerettes, copy and paste this into your profile. (Just so I don't get flammed, I've never done it myself, but I do not believe it is dangerous.)

"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting high meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a girl was cooties?
when your worst enemies were your siblings
and race issues were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

CHILDREN AT HEART FOREVER! XD

(I agree with whoever made this. When we were young, we saw no flaws in people or the world. But as we grow older, we realize these flaws. Yet we are still too stupid to realize that EVERYONE has them. No one hated anyone as a kid. Hell, I doubt we even knew what the world flaw meant. The world was safe and fun. We didn't focus on such things like war, fighting, who was right and who was wrong. We could just spend entire days having fun with our best friends. Life was wonderful as a child, and I'd give anything for that kind of life, even if just for a day...please repost if you agree.)

RANDOM QUOTE TIME!! YAY!

"We're all a little crazy on the inside. But not me! I'm crazy on the outside! Who wants pie?!"--me.

"I bought a car that turned out to be a giant, transforming robot...who knew?"--Shia Lebouf from "Transformers"

"Said you loved me, kissed me, we were in heaven. Said I'm sorry, love you, love you forever..." line from one of my favorite trance songs, "Look to the Sky" by System S.F.

"Everybody, everybody, everybody, Jump! Jump! Everybody, everybody, everybody, try to work it everybody...HARDCORE OVERLOAD!!" lyric from a build-up portion of one of my favorite happy hardcore mixes.

"I don't do drugs. I just rave to rave." ME, as an outstand against the rumor that only druggies like techno!

"A chilled breath of Mint can be soothing..." me, back when I was DJ MINT.

"As your body is relieved of your spirit...which has recharged to pure energy...you will become a particle...of the elements..." lyric from that same Happycore mix.

"Terrorist 1:Okay, you run in with dynamite backpack, BOOM, then you are big hero!

Terrorist 2:I run in, throw backpack, then come back a big hero who will have secks with many virgins!

Terrorist 1:No, you are boom.

Terrorist 2:Okay, I run in, BOOM, then I come back, big hero, virgins.

Terrorist 1:Yah, okay, see you in a minute, big hero."--Family Guy

"GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR A BRAN MUFFIN!"--Colin Mochrie

"Yep, that's semen alright."--Chris Pontius.

"In A.D. 2101, war was beginning" BOOM!

"What happen?"

"Someone set up us the bomb!"

"We get signal!"

"What?"

"Main Screen turn on!"

"It's you!"

"HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN? ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION"

"What you say?"

"YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME. HA HA HA."

"What do we do?"

"Move every Zig!"

"You sure what you are doing?"

"Laung Zig! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"--Translated script from "Zero Wing" the game that spawned All Your Base.

"Yippie ki yay MutherCENSORED"--Bruce Willis in every Die Hard Movie

"Yippie ki yay Mamacitas!"--"kid friendly" version from "Alvin and the Chipmunks"

"Alright Aliens...this is for Bender's cocktail!"--Fry from Futurama

"But I NEED tacos! I need them or I will explode...that happens to me sometimes..." Gir from Invader Zim

"BURRRRRRRIIIIIITO!!" also G.I.R. from Invader Zim

"Well F-ck You very much whitey!" I forget her name, but she's a character on "The Big Gay Sketch Show". She usually follows up this line by giving the finger to some white guy.

"Squeak, squeak...uh, squeaker." Patrik Warburton as Kronk in The Emperor's New Groove

"And when the flood gates burst, come inside and we will keep you strong." lyric from "Dance4Life" by DJ Tiesto

"I'm not unfaithful, but I'll stray." Tegan & Sara "Back In Your Head (Tiesto Remix)

"Music gonna save your li-ay-ay-ife." lyric from "SPEED OVER BEETHOVEN" by ROSE

"Run now quickly, we're doing our thing, we on the case, we like the man for the behaviour. Hey, whatcha doin' over there? C'mon let's do this, rip the air. You all feel this latest groove, and then just don't know what to do! Hey, whatcha' got in your hand? Man that's amazing put it away it's gonna...go BANG! Blow my brains. HA! I'm gonna soak it in pain, with the S.D.X. So...let's leave a little bit of change. The tramps can fear us. Stay boarded up in their special caves! Just how far they gonna stay sane? Cut the drugs HA!"--From "RHYTHM and POLICE (K.O.G. G3 Mix)" by CJ Crew feat. Christian D.

"Umm...this next band asked me not to read this. But...Godammit, I'm going to anyway, because I wrote it. And it's the truth. I F--ING LOVE THIS BAND! THEY ARE THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD, PERIOD! Now ladies and gentleman, TENACIOUS D!!"--some random guy in the movie "Tenacious D:The Pick of Destiny."

"Jam Jam Jam, DDR! Everybody feel the beat with DDR!"--lyric from 'B4U' and it's remixes, all by NAOKI.

"Why do you taste so bad?"
"Just because my name is Vanilla, doesn't mean I taste good."
"What's in a name? keeps licking."--Conversation from Vanilla and Tails I plan to use someday.

"Suffering Insane.
All I see is pain.
Tiger in chains.
Please God save me..."--line from "Tiger In Chains" a poem my best bud wrote when she was feeling down. NO, SHE'S NOT AN EMO! She's a good writer though.

"I am, I am everyone, everywhere, any how, any way, any will, any day." lyric from "I Am, I am all of me"

"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME!"==quote from a badly translated game that became an internet sensation.

"These Beats are irrisistable..."--Me

"Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?"
"C'mon Wayne, it's not her fault. Let's just go."
"You'd better thank Dave Chapelle Bitch. Go on, thank him!"
"Thanks Dave, I love your show."
"RUN BITCH RUN!!"--Part of a sketch from "The Chapelle's Show"

"THANKS BONO!" Carlos Mencia, playing a character in Africa.

"I'm gonna kick you in the NUTS!"--Cartman from South Park

"HOLY F--KING ASS CRACKERS!"--Many characters from Robot Chicken

"Am 'I' on drugs?"--Me

"P.L.U.R. Peace Love Unity Respect."--popular Raver term.

"I'm so hungry, I could ride a horse...I don't get it."--Chris from Family Guy.

"This Profile is getting too long...oh well! MORE QUOTES! La la la la!"--Me after writing this bio

"Link never learned not to play with swords during a thunder storm. God rest his charred, stupid soul."--From GameInformer Magazine after Previewing a Zelda Game.

"LET'S DDR!"--announcer from Dance Dance Revolution.

"Mommy...will you sing TRiP MACHINE?"--lyric from songs "TRiP MACHINE ~Luv Mix~" and "TRiP MACHINE SURVIVOR"

"I must now remind you Let it rock, let it rock, let it rock!"--lyric from "Let It Rock" the ONLY rap styled song I like.

"Let's see who's better. I wanna play a tune, I wanna groove with you, so turn me on."--Lyric from "Let the Beat Hit Em'!" and it's remixes.

"I tried so hard, and got so far! But the end, it doesn't even matter! I had to fall, and lose it all...but in the end, it doesn't even matter!" lyric from "In the End" by Linkin Park

"I've become so Numb, I can't feel you there! I've become so tired, so much more aware! I'm becoming this, all I want to do, is be more like me, and be less like YOU!" lyric from "Numb" by Linkin Park.

"We can mean anything. We three, we the people, or my favorite WWWWEEEEEEE!!"--Cosmo from Fairly Oddparents

"SKEEEEEEEWWWW!!"--whoever wins the "Skew" championship says this. The Skew championship was created by me and my brother-in-law after playing a game of "Flatout". No, we are not rednecks. But I did win the championship. Better luck next time Chris!

"Oh...sorry I'm late, I was doing some nice...non-molesty things..."--Catholic Preist from an episode of Family Guy

"Ever notice that Calogne rhymes with Alone?"--I forgot where I heard it, but it's damn funny.

"Those girls have gone wild!...Volume 4."--Wooldoor Sockbat from Drawn Together.

"Don't run...RUSH RECKLESSLY!"--something I'm going to use in a fic. Probably will be said by Sonic.

"The points are useless. That's right, they're as useless as steak sauce in India."--Drew Carrey from "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

"I'm still a kid at heart, but I can be mature if I need to--what? Hey, that's not nice! Waahhh! I want my Mommy!"--Me, used to show how much of a kid I am. XD

"BAAAAWWWW!!"--the thing an Adult Baby or Infantilist says after wetting themselves...hahahahaha!

"Do you like DDR?"
"DDR?! WHERE?! I WANNA PLAY MAX 300!"--I LOVE DDR.

"LOVE LIFE FOREVER!"--Yep. You should.

ONE OF THE BEST COMEDY SKETCHES EVER, PRESENTED BY THE WHITEST KIDS U' KNOW:

Group standing outside of a strip club

Trevor:This is taking forever!

Darren:C'MON, LET'S SEE SOME TITS!

Timmy:Are they gonna make us get a lap dance?

Darren:Timmy, it's your birthday, they aren't going to make you do anything...I'm gonna make you get a lap dance.

group goes in, Trevor sits down in front of stripper pole, stripper comes out, who is really one of the male actors on the show playing a woman.

Stripper:Hello big boy...you got any money?

Trevor:Uh, actually yeah I do, what will a dollar get me?

Stripper:takes top off

Trever:Cool. Cool. Okay, what if I were to lay 5 dollars on the table?

Stripper:Well for 5 dollars, I turn around, and point mah butt at you.

Trevor:Nice, nice...What if I put 10 dollars on the table?

Stripper:Well for 10 dollahs, I play with mah boobs, and jiggle mah boobs, and I spit on my coo...

Trevor:Chill, chill...Okay, what about 20 dollars? What will that get me?

Stripper:Well, for 20 dollahs, I dance around your lap, and try to touch my butt to your penis sometimes.

Trevor:Dope, dope..okay let's up the antie a little bit. If I were to lay down 100 dollars, what would happen?

Stripper:Well for 100 dollars, I take you in that back room...

Trevor:Uh-huh...

Stripper:Slip into some reaaal sexy lengire...

Trevor:Uh-huh...

Stripper:And then I staple my hands together.

Trevor:Wait...what?

Stripper:With a staple gun!

Trevor:Wh-wha, why would you do that?

Stripper:Cause you give me 100 dollars!

Trevor:Well, I don't really want you to do that, so...so let's bring it down a bit. If I were to give you 75 dollars...what would happen?

Stripper:Well for seventy-five dollahs, I eat a whole fish!

Trevor:What?!

Stripper:Bones...scales...eyes, everythang!

Trevor:Wha-what?! Why would you do that?!

Stripper:That's what I do for 75 dollars!

Trevor:That's...weird!

Stripper:That's mah name!

Trevor:What is?

Stripper:Weird!

Trevor:Your stripper name is "Weird"?

Stripper:Uh huh! Weird the strippah!

Trevor:Hey guys! Get over here!

Darren:What?

Trevor:This stripper is weird!

Stripper:Heeellllooo...

Darren:She looks fine to me.

Trevor:What would you do for 75 cents?

Stripper:I eat it.

Trevor:Eat what?

Stripper:The money!

Darren:Bull shit!

Trevor:Here. Gives Weird 75 cents, who eats it

All guys:Whoa!

Trevor:Okay, what would you do for 304 dollars?

Stripper:I write you a speech!

Darren:About what?

Stripper:Aaaannny topic you choose...

Trevor:Okay, what about 7 dollars?

Stripper:I go to the store with you!

Darren:4 dollars and 36 cents?

Stripper:I paint you a picture of a dolphin!

Trevor:4 dollars and 37 cents?

Stripper:I drink a whole pail of milk!

Trevor:What...?

Darren:4 dollars and 38 cents!

Stripper:I have secks with you!

Trevor:Well, there's what that one was.

Timmy:A million dollars?!

Stripper:Haaaaaaaammburgerrrrrrrrs!

Trevor:Right, whatever. We're leaving, c'mon. See ya later Weird.

Stripper:Bye-bye...waves goodbye

Our emotional state of choice is Ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is Love. Our addiction of choice is technology. Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none. Our society of choice is utopian though we know it will never be. You may hate us. You may dismiss us. You may misunderstand us. You may be unaware of our existence. We can only hope you do not care to judge us, because we would never judge you. We are not criminals. We are not disillusioned. We are not drug addicts. We are not naive children... We are one massive, global, tribal village that transcends man-made law, physical geography, and time itself. We are The Massive. One Massive. We were first drawn by the sound. From far away, the thunderous, muffled, echoing beat was comparable to a mother's heart soothing a child in her womb of concrete, steel, and electrical wiring. We were drawn back into this womb, and there, in the heat, dampness, and darkness of it, We came to accept that we are all equal. Not only to the darkness, and to ourselves, but to the very music slamming into us and passing through our souls: we are all equal. And somewhere around 35 Hz we could feel the hand of God at our backs, pushing us forward, pushing us to push ourselves to strengthen our minds, our bodies, and our spirits., Pushing us to turn to the person beside us to join hands and uplift them by sharing the uncontrollable joy we felt from creating this magical bubble that can, for one evening, protect us from the horrors, atrocities, and pollution of the outside world. It is in that very instant, with these initial realizations that each of us was truly born. We continue to pack our bodies into clubs, or warehouses, or buildings you've abandoned and left for naught, and we bring life to them for one night. Strong, throbbing, vibrant life in it's purest, most intense, most hedonistic form. In these makeshift spaces, we seek to shed ourselves of the burden of uncertainty for a future you have been unable to stabilize and secure for us. We seek to relinquish our inhibitions, and free ourselves from the shackle's and restraints you've put on us for your own peace of mind. We seek to re-write the programming that you have tried to indoctrinate us with since the moment we were born. Programming that tells us to hate, that tells us to judge, that tells us to stuff ourselves into the nearest and most convenient pigeon hole possible. Programming that even tells us to climb ladders for you, jump through hoops, and run through mazes and on hamster wheels. Programming that tells us to eat from the shiny silver spoon you are trying to feed us with, instead of nourish ourselves with our own capable hands. Programming that tells us to close our minds, instead of open them. Until the sun rises to burn our eyes by revealing the dis-utopian reality of a world you've created for us, we dance fiercely with our brothers and sisters in celebration of our life, of our culture, and of the values we believe in: Peace, Love, Freedom, Tolerance, Unity, Harmony, Expression, Responsibility and Respect. Our enemy of choice is ignorance. Our weapon of choice is information. Our crime of choice is breaking and challenging whatever laws you feel you need to put in place to stop us from celebrating our existence. But know that while you may shut down any given party, on any given night, in any given city, in any given country or continent on this beautiful planet, you can never shut down the entire party. You don't have access to that switch, no matter what you may think. The music will never stop. The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end.

I am a RAVER, and this is my manifesto.

If you are a raver and proud of it, please re-post.