Hello there! The names' CiiCiinREX, but you can just call me CiiCii:)

I have another account linked to a friend I know (yes, in real life), and right now we have to publish our writings (of awareness?) and we decided to merge an account since we were both publishing something relating to anime. I'm not sure if this is against the rules?, but read and give your opinion on our topics! Our account name is Ahmunni and Appa (which means mom and dad in Korean, lol. The thing is, though, I'm not the mom... He is.) My writing is about life lessons in Naruto and the female gender stereotypes found in them, but for some reason I focused on the stereotypes because I started ranting... xD I really wish I could change some things in it now. But, whatever.

I am a fifteen-year girl who is still quiet, but can be deemed as evil by her friends. (Edit 11/30/11: Not anymore though TT_TT) Heh. I doodle often in school, try my best to get straight A's and most of the things you would hear me say would either disgust you or make you laugh.

I like anything that doesn't annoy me or hurts others.

I hate... nothing in particular. Hate's a strong word. I dislike manipulative people, though. And onions. EWWWW. xD.

I am: (WARNING! SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!)

A DIE HARD SASUSAKU-FAN! It's seriously my OTP! If I doesn't happen in the series I will cry... I am actually hopeful for it because Naruto rejected her confession after Hinata confessed as well, is that a bad thing to hope for that because of it? XD. I just really hope that Kishimoto doesn't put Naruto and Sakura together because first, I see them good as friends and they haven't gone together in that long period of when Naruto came back (they had A LOT of free time) and second, Sasuke and Sakura are just made for each other. I really believe that they're supposed to be together because Sakura is the first person who loved him genuinely and told him after his clan's massacre. He even said THANK YOU for it. I think that Sasuke will feel very empty inside if Sakura turns to another man, and Sakura will just be lying to herself when she moves on. She can't tell herself "I love another man" and just magically... love another man. Her heart is made for Sasuke, and SASUKE ONLY. As for Sasuke's side, he knows her love is real, unlike the genin Ino's and Karin's 'love'. That's just them fangirling over their looks. Ino was just competing for him with Sakura because she liked his looks and never looked deep inside of him to truly love him. Karin lusted, LUSTED, for him, thinking about ravaging him in his sleep. Sure, at some point she was in shock and didn't like the darker Sasuke and wanted to change him because he scared her, not because he was slowly destroying himself. Sakura, on the other hand, had confronted him with intent to kill him because he was a threat and she thought that killing him would be best to free him from his darkness. But, she couldn't do it. She still loved him, even after all this time. Sasuke, when he tried to kill her, twice, wasn't in the right frame of mind. I mean, I was surprised the first time I learned his whole family was killed and he DIDN'T snap and go psycho on everyone. I would. But he stood strong. Now, all these lies fed to him have made him snap, and he can't think clearly. I don't have a doubt in my mind that his thoughts are all clouded by "KILL KONOHA, THEY KILLED MY BROTHER" and "WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS" and "MAKE THEM SUFFERRRRR!". I also know for sure that once he killed Sakura that he would be regretting it, whether it be immediately or after coming back to his senses. HE WOULD HAVE KILLED THE ONLY GIRL THAT REALLY LOVED HIM (besides his mom, but she's dead now. DX POOR MIKOTO.) and, well... I don't know. He could bawl his eyes out, but we have no idea do we? :D Another reason would be that NaruSaku would be soooo predictable in anime. I mean, the thing, "The main character (boy) gets the girl who usually doesn't like him at first but then falls in love with him after some time"? That is so redundant. This anime has been so unpredictable to me for the last year, and for that to happen would be a big disappointment. I don't even know if he'll put characters together... XD That would make some Naruto fans kill... Anyway, I'm rambling:) For other references, Sasuke has always protected Sakura. He may not do it now, but in the war, if she's in trouble and he snaps out of it, he'll protect her. :) SASUSAKU FTW!

An AMUTO fan! It's seriously so cute in the Shugo Chara series, and, in a way it reminds me of SasuSaku, except Ikuto is like a mixture of Sasuke and Itachi. And the way they interact is so funny. XD. ARGGG, I hate it when they pair her with Tadase. I have nothing against him, but it's just that Tadase doesn't seem to fit her all that well and Ikuto just brings out the best in her (although he also seems to bring out her very violent side. A small price to pay. XD)

A BLACK BIRD (KyoxMisao) FAN! OMG, I freakin' love this manga! It's my second favorite--in fact, I think it's my current number one fav. The manga is so funny, even though it can be mistaken for porn and it has a lot of smut, and I love the art NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! Sure, Kyo can be a bit blunt, perverted, cruel and mean, and Misao can be a bit helpless, but their love for each other just seems to fit in with the story! I wish it were an anime, though. TT_TT It's popular in Japan, so I hope it does... I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING THIS! But don't read the online manga of this story, the translation is really weird... Try buying it from the bookstore, that has the best English translations. AND I LOVE THE TRIPLETS! THEY'RE SO CUTE! I wanna take them home with me... XD.

A One Litre of Tears (HarutoxAya) fan! Omg, this drama was so sad, I cried at least three times each episode and my mom thought I was having a heart attack at one point. xD. It isn't like most dramas I've watched since it was indirect romance and a sense of reality. It's so sadddd, I feel like crying each time I see a picture of it. TT^TT

A Beast Master (LeoxYuiko) fan! It's so cute, it's hilarious. LOL. I hate it when you're misunderstood like Leo. TT^TT

A FERRISWHEELSHIPPER (In Pokemon Black/White, NxTouko)! N is definitely my favorite pokemon villain of all time, and I wanted to cry when I realized that I beat the game and that I wouldn't be seeing him anymore! I felt like purposefully losing just to see him over and over again (but then again, I'd be broke if I kept giving up my money at the end of the fight =_=). Maybe it's because of that that I love N and Touko fanfics where N wins the fight and becomes the king of Unova instead of Touko winning and him just... leaving I guess you could say? I don't wanna spoil it too much... xD. Even though in the game, you, as Touko, don't talk, I can imagine the kind of girl she would be and how she would react. After the ferris wheel scene, I practically fell in love with the pairing! Wait, not even, I probably really noticed N after the second gym (which I weird because I guess I just wanted to level up my pokemon and didn't care about noting the villains? lol). If you don't really like the way N approaches things, though, you could interpret him as a creeper... though, I don't blame him, since he was cut off from humans and had only Pokemon as friends as he grew up. Btw, if you know the whole plotline, you'd probably love the parody videos like I do. Look up Ifso Factso on Youtube; you won't regret it, hahaha. I love this pairing as much as I love SasuSaku, and that's probably because I can picture the Pokemon and people in my head since I grew up wathcing Pokemon like I grew up watching Naruto.

My favorite things to watch are...

Naruto, Generator Rex, Adventure Time, Spongebob Squarepants (it's a guilty pleasure...), Shugo Chara, MAD (sometimes), etc.

My fav pairings are... for Naruto:

SasuSaku OF COURSE! (MY OTP! :D)

Ones I'm "OKAY" with... :

ItaSasu (only yaoi pairing; damn yaoi influence xD)

NejiTen

TemaShikaIno

NaruHina

SuiKarin:)

The pairings I dislike (No offence to those who like it) are...

SasuNaru (I just like the bromance, not the romance, man. xD)

SakuIno

SasuIno

SasuKarin

NaruSaku

( Most Yaoi and Yuri )

THE NARUTARD SURVEY! (2009-2010)

1. Who is your favourite Naruto character(s)?

Sasuke Uchiha, hands down. I know that underneath all those (heavy) layers of arrogance, hate and nonchalance, there's a little kid crying and craving comfort. THAT'S WHERE THERE'S SAKURA HARUNO! XD Naruto is great too, kind even though he's been shun from the village all his life :) And Itachi, I want a caring brother like him! (But I probably shouldn't, seeing as he'll kill all of my family, leave me in cold blood, tell me to hate him and get stronger to defeat him, and throw my close friends away just to kill him, then realize that it was my home city's fault he killed them. Then want to kill them and regret killing him. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ANYWAY.)

2. What is your favorite pairing?

(Edit 11/30/11: Uhh... hello? I did a whole rant on it...? oh, forget it. xD) SASUSAKU FTW!!! They're really cute, Sasuke's the protector and Sakura's the comforter. Plus, their opposites and the colors kinda don't mix, making them both independent from each other (I have no idea how you describe it to you.). Plus, Sasuke probably opened up to her the most. And Sakura is really devoted to him, after three years of not seeing him, she still loves him. (REALLY foolish, but hey, you can't tell your heart "Hey, that's a hot and sweet guy, LOVE HIM.". Who you love is what you get. No less.)

3. Are you a naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Uhhhh... I have no comment. Except, Yaoi? NO. Hentai? You answer that for me...

4. Ever cosplayed naruto characters? if so, who, where and how many times?

LOL. I haven't, BUT I WANNA MAKE MY FRIEND AND HER BOYFRIEND SASUSAKU! He's growing out his hair so I'll style it, and she'll probably have to wear a wig...

5. List your collection of naruto junk and merchendise, if any.

Kyuubi keychain (I friggin' love that keychain.), two Sasuke keychains, an Uchiha emblem necklace, a Sharingan and Japanese worded necklace, a Naruto Calender 2010 (I BOUGHT THAT FOR ONE DOLLAR AT BORDERS. I LOVE THAT. XDDDD). I want to have a Sasuke plush, but I REALLY want to have a Kyuubi or some sort of tailed-demon plushie. Either way, I'd be happy.

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so who?

I used to think that I was destined to be with Sasuke and fate would bring us together (Ha ha, Neji line.) but then I saw he was fated to be with Sakura. *TEAR* But I'll find my own, hotter Sasuke later on.

7. Naruhina or Kibahina?

NARUHINA! They're cute, I don't like the idea of KibaHina for some reason. Kiba's cute and nice and all, but he's really... egotistical. Hinata needs a sweet, caring and selfless guy to be with.

8. Sasusaku or Sasunaru?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Though, I used to like SasuNaru, now the thought disgusts me. Anyway, SASUSAKU, because I really DOUBT that this STRAIGHT manga will turn GAY. (*meek voice in the background* Straight, for the win.)

9. Which team is your favourite?

TEEAAAAMMMMMM SEVEN! The original, anyway. I really loved it, but then Sasuke left, leaving Naruto angry, Sakura brokenhearted on a stone bench, and Kakashi with mixed feelings.

10. Do you support the Tobito theory? (Tobi=Obito)

No. We know who Tobi is now. (XD) But if there was a Tobitodara theory, I'd think about it.

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is naruto's father' theory?

It's been proven already, silly person.

12. Your favourite akatsuki member?

Probably Itachi, or even Tobi. I loved Tobi for his spunkiness and randomness, but as soon as he was Madara, I think Itachi (deceased now) is my favorite.

13. Are you pro-sasuke or anti-sasuke?

Pro-Sasuke. SASUKEEEEEEEE! I kinda support his decision, and he made a really big ruckus when he left the village (if I were in the Naruto world right now at that time, I'd watch all the people panic and laugh sadistically, and then run after Sasuke and yell at him). But, even though I don't like this idea of leaving the village (HE MADE ME CRY!) it made the story all the more interesting. If he hadn't, I'd probably be iffy on making Naruto my favorite anime.

14. have you seen all naruto episodes so far? (including shippuden and fillers)

Well, I haven't SEEN the episodes, but I've been up-to-date with the reading the manga online. I will, eventually though. Before the ending of the anime, anyway.

15. Have you read all the chapters so far?

Yeah, right now Kushina just ended telling Naruto her story and left him since her time was up. HE'S TRYING TO CONTROL KYUUBI! Can't wait till that happens.

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?

LOL, YES. Except when he's serious.

17. Sub or dub?

Sub fosho. Dub makes Sasuke's voice sound deeper than it should be and Sakura's voice kinda... idk. But it's not a good thing.

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?

Pro-Sakura. I didn't really like her in the beginning, but when she matured a little and became less-fangirlish after the Chuunin exams, she shows that she doesn't fawn over Sasuke so much. And her love become genuine and true. She may be a little weak and less-knowledgeable in her jutsu before Shippuden, but she did show promise.

19. Tobi = annoying or funny?

Annoying, hmmm... a little. Funny, ... haha, sure.

20. Do you even know who Tobi is?

Yeah, that short orange masked guy in Akatsuki that would crash Deidara's explosive bird if he wasn't supervised? Yeah, I know him.

21. Gai= sexy beast or ugly nerd?

... I wouldn't say he's sexy or a beast (other than his Taijutsu), but I also wouldn't call him a nerd... So, neutral: Ugly beast...? LOL.

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?

ITACHIIII! Or Neji. They both have long, silky hair and feminine properties, but Itachi wears purple nail polish. They get it from their mothers:)

23. Rock Lee = weird or awesome?

WEIRDLY AWESOME. DEVOTEDDD!

24. which character would be best OOC? who and how?

SASUKE! IF HE HAD RANDOM EMOTIONAL SPASMS DAILY! LOL. xDDDDDD. (*imagines* With Sakura. "Hey Sasuke-kun! How was your day so far?" "..." "...Sasuke-kun?" "Shut up." "E-eh?" "RESTORE MY CLAN. NOW!" "..." "*winks flirtatiously*")

25. Do you like naruto fanfics?

Yeah, but I don't like the ones where they say that Sasuke is arrogant and an asshole (I make exceptions though). I like the ones that are very realistic and are in the Shinobi Age mostly, and ones that are related to episodes.

26. Do you write naruto fanfics?

Tch, of course. What kind of question is that? -_-

27. Do you like lemons?

Yummy. Sure. They make my mouth shrivel up though.

28. Do your parents know any naruto characters?

Ummm... My mom is white and doesn't care and my asian dad doesn't like cartoons. Soooo... No. But once I'm a parent, I'll watch all the animes XD and tell my kids about Naruto once they're ten.

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?

Nahhh, I'll watch it though. I just hope it doesn't bash Sakura, Sasuke, or SasuSaku in anyway. Or pair them up with different people. I can't stand it when they do that.

30. Have you seen The naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?

YES. HILARIOUS.

31. Have you ever got someone else hooked on Naruto?

Haha, yes. About ten people.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and have someone randomly say "WOAH! you like Naruto too!?"

LOL. Yeah, but it was kinda hard to tell until they told me it was a Naruto drawing.

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher comes up to you and says "wtf is this?"

Nah, they're fine with me doodling after I'm done with my work :3

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?

Ummm, school life? A little, since my friends and I talk about it alot. Grades? Just a pinch, when I get lazy and watch that instead of doing my work.

35. Are you broke thanks to naruto?

Nah, not really.

36. Do you want to read icha icha Paradise?

YES. PLEASE.

37. Do you support the 'yondaime is the akatsuki leader' theory?

Tch, that theory's dead now.

38. Do you draw naruto fanart? If so, count how many there is in your gallery.

I do draw it, but it's not in my gallery. They suck ass anyway XD.

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?

...Not really. Instead, if I were to see him like that in the Naruto world, I'd probably stop and stare at him blankly. The hands as wings make me think if they play thumb wrestle with each other or try to slap each other though. It looks fun instead of sexy in my opinion.

40. Do you have a naruto OC?

Nahh, not yet in the Shinobi Age yet. I might make a Haruno one, though.

41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think naruto has taken over your life?

Yes, a big enough part for me to remember "Yeah, it was a HUGE part of my life", but not so important for me to think "I MUST WATCH THE NEW EPISODE RIGHT NOW."

Hi! I am sorry to say that I may take a while on my pictures for Living Reincarnated by AnbuShadowFang. (Which is indeed, a great story!) My computer just had viruses, went to a fix-it shop, and currently has many issues. So, when my mom is finally done finishing it off, (which is by the way never.) I will re-install my tablet and draw newly updated versions of wolves.

(Edit 4/29/11: Wow, I put this off for so long. LOL. As soon as I get an art program for this new mac computer, I'll try to update this pictures. Might as well. But please don't look at the old drawings; they're fugly DX)

Kyougu: Old drawn pic: http://swiftwolfgirl44.deviantart.com/art/Full-Kyougu-LR-SasuSaku-Story-100206096

Newly drawn pic: In progress

Yami: Old drawn pic: http://swiftwolfgirl44.deviantart.com/art/Full-Yami-LR-Sasusaku-story-100220781

Newly drawn pic: In progress

Tomoyo: Picture: In progress

Tokami: Picture: In progress

Hayai(Mine!): Picture: In progress

Neveah and Draven: Picture: In progress

Keita: Picture: In progress

Koji: Picture: In progress

Shira: Picture: In progress

I guess that's all of them! Tell me if I missed any!

(Note 11/30/11: Holyyy crap. I forgot about these! I'll attempt to draw these if I have the time!)

Current Stories

-Point Blank (On hold): Three Delivery. Tobey can't remember anything; so when Sue and Sid come to him and claim that they know him and were worried about him, he breaks off and runs. But true friends never get in your way unless it's for your own good. However, as things happen to him and he learns the true meaning of family and enemies, he finds out that maybe they could be right. But evil lurks around the corner along with his dad and his old trainer, but most of all, how will he be able to remember and survive? Eventual Tobue.

-The Playboy's Bestfriend (MAIN STORY; on hold until further notice): It was like a paradox; Uchiha Sasuke, Konoha's famous heartthrob and player who's dumped girls so many times and broke their hearts refused to let his idiot of a best friend ask out a certain pinkette as he held her close in his arms, while not whispering sweet-nothings in her ear or to make out with her. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHO IS SHE? She is his best friend, childhood friend, Haruno Sakura. And he refuses to let her be tainted by anyone, even himself. (She didn't know what she was crying for. Was it because of the pain she felt when he walked away with that girl, or because of Kiba's threats? She wasn't sure, but she knew that the more Sasuke comforted her, the harder she cried.) SasuSaku. AU.

-Of Dark and Light (OFF AND ON STORY; on hold until further notice): Something—even though it was so small—happened to Sasuke during his curse mark transition from Orochimaru, and now the brooding teenager is now transforming in front of their eyes for everyone to see. The bite was a success, yes, but the only flaw is that for some reason the possessed Sasuke has a newfound interest in Sakura, who can watch helplessly as he merges with his dark, possessive side, still not sure if she likes it or not. SasuSaku. Ninja Universe.

-Caught Red-Handed (Occasionally written): She knew what she had to do. She had to run, run away from everything she knew and loved. Run from the man she oh-so dearly loved. Dear God, her heart was breaking. What more can she do? / Kyo x Misao. Talks about sacrifice and an eventual runaway. Regular Universe.

-Someone To Look Up To (Occasionally written): Uchiha Sasuke had been bullied, tortured, and taunted daily because he wanted that life. But when his cousin needs his help, he sheds his facade and fights back, wanting to become her role-model. Just when he thought he was content, life proved him wrong. Revolves around family bonding, but will have equal bits of SasuSaku in it as well. AU.

-Seven Stabs to the Heart (on hold until a solid plot is established): Dear God, it hurt so much. If he were to die today, let them take him now. He breathed out. / Do not come looking for me. You won't find a body, but I'm already dead. It's not a death you would know about, but all the same. The Sakura you know is gone. AU. SasuSaku.

-Grass is Always Greener (thinking of pulling this one off; on hold): Their demons from the future were chasing their past selves, one trying to guide them safely and the other plotting their destruction. Sakura just can't seem to cope. SasuSaku. Somewhat TimeTravel fic. Ninja Universe.

-His Never-Ending Radiance (thinking of changing title; main story until further notice): The acute ears atop his head twitched, eyes glimmering and tail swishing. He needed her; he needed her now. He let out a piercing yowl and disappeared into a flurry of leaves; gone. SasuSaku. AU. Somewhat dark. Category and rating may change. Crazy-NekoSasuke mentioned. Other pairings mentioned to build up drama, but SasuSaku is main.

Story Ideas

-Skunked!: Naruto. When her day takes a turn for the worst, Sakura has a traumatizing experience with a skunk. But she never knew that it would cause the school's heartthrob and her major crush to fall in love with her. Sasusaku. Either a one-short or complete story.

-Our Omega: Naruto. When Sakura's older sister comes back for her, the pinkette never knew her universe would turn upside down. In between running away from home, being the lowest of the group, battling off demons, occasionally meeting up with her old friends and crush, and the pressure her sister was giving her, she found herself in the hands of Uchiha Sasuke once again - no pun intended. OCs will be used, but will not be used as main characters. Possible OC death. SasuSaku. Ninja Universe.

-The Curse of Heredity: Naruto. She could feel it, stalking her, laughing as she ran off in hopes of avoiding and the looming threat of death. She was the last, about to be wiped off the face of the earth, when she crashed into her old teammate and his newly formed team. In hopes of surviving, Sakura has no choice but to stay at Sasuke's side. SasuSaku. Horror. Ninja Universe.

-BurnMeOut: Naruto and Fallout crossover. Sakura wasn't sure how it happened, but when she woke up in a universe where danger lurks at every corner of the wasteland, she has no choice but to wander in the world alone in hopes of finding her teammates. Sakura-centric. Dark themes from Fallout. Survival type story.

-Kitty Fever!: Naruto. Sakura never knew that Ino's request of getting a new "catnip love potion" would lead to her onyx-eyed teammate purring all over her, his hormones finally coming out to play. Crack-ish. SasuSaku. Ninja Universe. Humor-ish. Set before Sasuke left Konoha. Another Neko-Sasuke story. X3.

-Love, Your Insurance Company: "LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, STATE FARM IS THERE-" "-with a hot girl!" Poof. Twitch. "WHAT THE HELL? WHY AM I A GIRL?" "Don't worry Sasuke-kun, no matter if you're a girl or a boy, I'll love you forever!" Silence. "...Karin's a lesbian?" State-farm abuse. CRACK. Oneshot.

-If Fanfiction Were Real...: Naruto. ...the Naruto characters would be screwed. "The team held their breath as they waited for Sasuke to say the final words that would leave the pinkette in tears-" "'I'm pregnant!' Sasuke said proudly." "Yeah - wait, WHAT? Dude, you're ruining the story!" ("Haha, this is so much fun. That moment when Sasuke stared at the members of his team, he realized that he fell in love." Twinkle. Sasuke jumped up with a smile as he ran over to Naruto. "NARUTO-KUNN!" "OMG, HURRY AND CHANGE IT BEFORE MY EYES BLEED." "HE FELL IN LOVE WITH SAKURA!" Glomp. "Whew, that was a close one.")

-Gender Bender: Naruto. When Sakura's best friend, Sasuke, woke up one day as a girl, the pinkette has no choice but to stay at her, uh... his side and find a cure. But as Sasuke's boy hormones run awry and... he can't keep his hands off of his best friend, will they really get along like they used to? ("I have the strangest urge to look down your shirt," Sasuke confessed, rubbing his flat chest as he stared at Sakura. She twitched. "Do that and you'll find yourself beaten and tied to a bed." He stared at her. "For some reason, that turned me on.") WARNING: More adult-like themes used in this fic. Might not write this fic; iffy. No homosexual love at all; all heterosexual. SasuSaku.

I AM a fobloverrr! :D My favorite fob moments:

Rape Prevention Tactics:

Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it’ll take them longer and you can escape.

Online Predators via Youtube?:

So my mom is a VERY protective mother. This is what happened after she watched a 60 minutes special on Online Predators. I’m watching a Video Blog on Youtube…
Mom: Who is that guy?
Me: I don’t know.
Mom: Why is he talking to you??
Me: It’s a video…
Mom (at the computer): GO AWAY, MY DAUGHTER DON’T WANT TO MEET UP AND TALK TO YOU.

SEXY MODE:

I was knocking to go into my parents bed since their master bedroom washroom has the stored toothpaste & my washroom had ran out of toothpaste. As I was on my way to my parents room, before I even knock, my dad yells out loud, “DO NOT ENTER! I AM IN SEXY MODE!” I’m guessing, or pretty sure that he was changing into his pajamas.

It's that time of year:

So we’re eating dinner and this is what happens:

Dad: Hey Brian, your acceptance letter from UC Irvine came today!
Me: What really? Let me see!
Dad: HAHA No i’m joking. April Fools!!
Me: …Dad thats not funny. It’s not even April!
Dad: …MARCH MADNESS

Gassy Getaway: One day, my dad was speeding aimlessly while taking me to Michigan for a college visit. Not long after he started hitting speeds of 100 mph, a cop pulled my dad over. My dad, ever so calm in such situations and so over getting “American speeding tickets,” decided to take the situation into his own hands… or really, his own bowels. Just before the officer could ask for my dad’s license and registration, he ripped out a long, wet fart and told the cop in his broken English, “Man, I gotta go!” To this, the officer replied, “Go, man, go!” My dad then sped off in what we now call his gassy getaway.

Rich People Politics: Social studies have never been my strong suit. My dad was trying to give me the Cliffsnotes of politics during a recent lunch together…

Dad: …and then there’s the Tea Potty, which is mostly for reach people. Some reach people like to be politically conservative because it means less taxes. I don’t know about the Tea Potty’s policies, but they are a conservative potty…

Me: Dad, potty is that thing you used to carry in the car’s trunk (when I was a toddler, we had a portable potty for long road trips). It’s party.

Dad: PAHRRRRRRRRRR-ty. Okay, got it.

Me: And it’s RICH, not reach. Reach is like, “out of reach.”

Dad: Like you and that A in school.

I meant...:

After a friend gives me a ride home:

Dad: Bye Andy, thank you for riding my daughter.

Of Mice and Men:

My Dad (who doesn’t speak any English) and my boyfriend (Caucasian) have been attempting to chat online, with the help of some terrible translation websites. Suddenly, both of them simultaneously IM me.

Boyfriend: I’m trying to tell your dad that our friend Kelly has mice in her house and joked about borrowing our cat. I think I said it wrong…

Dad: Why is your boyfriend trying to sell me your cat?

When Dad Packs Lunch...:

A few years ago my mum went away for a few days on a vacation, leaving me, my dad and two younger brothers to fend for ourselves.

My dad was making sandwiches for my brother’s lunch, and asked him:

Dad: Do you like beef?
Leon: Yeah.
Dad: Do you like Nutella?
Leon: Yeah, that’s nice.

Imagine his surprise when he opened his lunchbox to find a beef and Nutella sandwich inside.

Take a Chill Pill:

dad: CHAX MAN. just chax.
me: ..what is chax..?
dad: you know, chilling and relaxing, CHAX. i so hip!

Not-So-Chill-Pill:

I was eating dinner with the family and I was ranting about the unfair grade I got in class.

Sister: You need to take a chill pill. (to me)
Dad: You taking pills? Is that why you doing bad in school?!! Who sold you pills!!! (slams table)
Sister & me: hahaha

Protect the eggs!:

Dear Jul,

Lap tops give out some radiation. Therefore, it is best not to position it near ovary area around abdomen.

Dada.

Fob Terminator?:

After re-watching the terminator movies, My dad sent me the following text:

“Eis teli vista bebi.”

Flinging Nowhere:

Dad: So, any boyfriends?
Me: Nope.
Mom: Well, she had a fling.
Dad: What’s a fling?
Mom: You know…when something’s not really going anywhere. She had one with Gabe.
Dad: With a GAY?? That’s REALLY not going anywhere!

Underhanded Compliments: I think you are very pretty now. Just don’t get any fatter? I see you eating alot lately. Daddy little girl not so little anymore :)

Crazy Hypothetical Situations:

Me: What’s wrong with me driving?
Dad: You drive, car accident, kill people, sue our house and take money, you injure cannot go back to school, take away your scholarship, now family have no money to pay for Berkeley, you get kick out of Columbia, we have no home – all because you want drive.
Me: Okay.

Dead Bunny:

Hello Emily and Grace,

Some thing terribly happened. Our bunny bit me when I tried to clean his cage this morning. Yes, he bit me, to the blood on my wrist. I will save some roast bunny for you when you come home.

Daddy

First Name (No) Last Name: I have a friend who’s middle name is “No”, because when her dad was filling out her birth certificate, there was no middle name for her, so that’s what he wrote.

Easter Dessert:

Mom: Try this! It’s an Italian Easter pie. My friend at work gave me the recipe.
Me: [Takes a bite] Uhhh…
Mom: Can you guess the flavoring?!
Me: … It tastes like fruity pebbles.
Mom: Ta da! [Holds up bag of Jolly Ranchers]
Me: What on earth?
Mom: The recipe called for “candied fruit,” so I asked Dad to pick some up, and he brought back these.
Me: …
Mom: He almost brought back gummi bears, but I told him no.

More Messy Fries:

Mom calls me asking what I want from In-N-Out Burgers.

Me: Can you get me the animal style fries?

thirty minutes later, mom comes home…

Mom: I asked for the doggy-style fries, but I think they ran out because they just started laughing.

Homeless Robots:

Mom: Hey, when are you having kids?
Me: What? Why?
Mom: You need to have a plan! When a machine gets too old they don’t bear good fruit.
Me: Mom, machines don’t bear fruit.
Mom: And make sure you have smart kids. If they’re dumb, I’ll put them in recycling bin.
Me: …what are they going to recycle as?
Mom: I don’t know. Homeless.

KPOP LOVERR!

- Big Bang! (Hands Up, Tonight, Gara Go!!!, Sunset Glow, Haru Haru, Beautiful Hangover)

- 2NE1! (Fire, I Hate You, Clap Your Hands, Lollipop)

- SHINee! (Hello - Japanese and Korean, Lucifer, Replay - Japanese and Korean, Ring Ding Dong, Stand By Me, Amigo, Ayo, Bodyguard)

- Super Junior! (A-CHA, Bonamana, Mr. Simple, Sorry Sorry, SUPERMAN, U, Be My Girl)

- SNSD or Girl's Generation! (Oh!, Gee)

- 2PM! (Again and Again, Give It To Me, Hands Up, I Was Crazy About You, I'll Be Back, Like in the Movies, Tired of Waiting, Without U)

- Bi(Rain)! (Love Song)

- Teen Top! (Clap, No More Perfume on You, Supa Love)

- B1A4! (Beautiful Target)

- Brown-eyed Girls! (Abracadabra)

- DBSK! (Survivor, Before I Go)

- f(x)! (Danger, Thrill Love)

- Infinite! (Be Mine, Nothing's Over)

- JYJ! (In Heaven)

- MBLAQ! (Stay, Again, MONA LISA, Oh Yeah)

- Miss A! (Bad Girl Good Girl, Goodbye Baby Goodbye)

- Se7en! (Hikari, Crazy)

- SS501! (Please Be Nice To Me)

- B2ST! (Breath, Bad Girl, Fiction, Shock)

- BOYFRIEND!!! (Boyfriend, Don't Touch My Girl, You and I, Chum Chum Chum (Little by Little))

- U-KISS! (Neverland, 0330)

- KARA! (STEP)