I'm back, I guess.

About me: My name is Jonas... Or maybe it isn't.

I'm European.

I'm getting older every year, every day, every second.

Though I'm arrogant, I have no self esteem.

Cool, I got 36 stalkers!! oO (waves hand at the strange people staring through the window). Hey! Who googled me??

About my writing: I mostly write funny or quite ironic fanfics, because reality is sad enough anyways. -- I use a dictionary, a thesaurus and urbandictionary.com when writing. -- I research generally very thoroughly.

I'm currently obsessed with: RPG, youtube, Fightstar, You Me At Six, Funeral For A Friend

I used to be a fan of the Twilight series. Breaking Dawn ruined it.

MY YOUTUBE VIDEOS

It's for all of you who can't wait for my update of "Things to do with Jacob while he's asleep"!

Here it is: The Sleeping Jacob

And here's my next video: Chase/Caleb

Oh dear, I'm obsessed. Here's my latest video (It's actually more slashy than I intended it to be): Reid/Tyler

Another new video: MIKE NEWTON

And another Twilight video: Jacob and Bella

I told you I'm obsessed. My latest video: Breaking Dawn Teaser Trailer

Yes, another video: Twilight Movie - Official Cast

Has nothing to do with fanfiction, but Charlie Simpson's voice is just amazing: Busted - Why

I couldn't finish it, 'cause I couldn't stop yelling at the book. I'm really sorry to say that: Breaking Dawn sucks

That Girl's Got a Secret XD - Cast

Here she is, Miss Mary-Sue Watson

And here are the boys.

I never get any flames. Okay, people have called me stupid, sick, mentally retarded, weird, boring, not funny at all or asked if I was on crack or any other illegal drug. - Yet, I guess that it is only their way of expressing their endless love for me, right?

FAQs

When are you going to update Things to Do with Jacob while He’s Asleep?

Sorry, I don't really know if I'm going to continue that story. You see, Jake woke up. And at the moment I can't think of anything that Bella might do to him - at least nothing that would still be rated T...

Is Mike Newton gay?

What? Um, I don't know. Yet, there must be a reason why Edward calls him the vile Mike Newton...

Are you on crack?

No. Never been.

What time is it?

7.05pm

Are you a guy or a girl?

Okay, I'm not going to answer this question anymore... Why are you asking anyway?

Why do you have a FAQ section though no one ever asks you any questions?

Good question. I guess I'm just an attention seeker.

Favorite Pairings:

Twilight: EdwardJacob, EdwardMike

Gossip Girl: ChuckNate, NateJenny

Covenant: ReidTyler, ChaseCaleb, ChaseTyler, CalebReid, CalebPogue

Dark Angel: AlecMax

Prison Break: KellermanMichael

Heroes: SylarMohinder

Copy and Paste Stuff:

If you think that more people should treat fanfiction as a serious form of art, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are the one and only member of the Unofficial Mike Newton Fan Club, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are too stupid to copy and paste things into your profile, copy and paste - well, type this into your profile.

If Irony or Sarcasm is your middle name, copy and paste this into your profile.

The first poll has finally closed. Thanks for voting! And here are the results:

Mike’s perfect partner is: Jessica! (15 percent) or No one!! (15 percent) And as Mike and Jess broke up, it seems that no one is good enough for Mike Newton. Who would have thought that...
Second: Jane (11 percent) (mwahahahahaha!!); Third: Lauren (9 percent); Fourth: Jacob, Eric and me (all 8 percent) (very interesting...); Fifth: Tyler, Mike’s oldest rival (6 percent); and just one vote less, Sixth: Edward (6 percent) (Hooray!!); Seventh: poor Kathy, excuse me, Katherine Silverman (3 percent); Eighth: Rosalie and 4 of you! (2 percent); Ninth: Alice (1 percent); and the most unlikely partner for Mike is Bella!! (0 percent)

Mike’s comment on the vote:

"Eww, I don’t want Jessica, she’s so annoying. Hey, and I’m not gay! And Eric is so ugly! Who’s that Iamwiththewolf? That isn’t even a proper name! Oh, but Jane is. Anyone can give me her number? – Why weren’t there more votes for Edward... Wait, did I actually write that?"

Poll #2 has closed. Thanks for voting! And here are the results:

This is your (and my!!) favorite scene from The Covenant: The Locker Room!! (25 percent)

Second (also my other favorite scene, and I swear I haven't manipulated the vote!): Chase kissing Caleb in Sarah's bathroom. (18 percent)

Third: ANY Reid and Tyler scene (a shame that there are only so few), Pogue and his tiny speedos (okay, that's actually part of the locker room scene...), and Sarah in the shower (what?) (all 9 percent)

Fourth: Caleb and Chase's final fight, Reid and Caleb outside Nicky's, Caleb and Sarah's dance (all hot action scenes, all 6 percent)

Fifth: Caleb kissing Sarah; Caleb, his car, the truck; and someone didn't know what The Covenant was (hope that she knows by now!) (all 3 percent)

Chase's comment on the vote:

"I'm an awesome kisser and I liked the little action going on in the locker room."

Poll #3 has finally closed. Thanks for voting. Here is what you voted for:
You want to be… Tyler! (30 percent) Yay for Baby Boy! Being him means being incredible cute and having most of the fangirls and most of the love interests (OCs as well as slash partners)
2nd: Pogue and Reid (each 23 percent) – Hmm… Having a body just like Pogue’s… or being the bad ass that everyone loves plus Tyler’s roommate. Nothing wrong with that either.
3rd: Chase (11 percent) Don’t we just love being the bad guy? and kissing Caleb, of course.
4th: Caleb (7 percent) The man himself – not that popular. Don’t tell him.
5th: Aaron (3 percent) Now being him is being the school jerk, messing with the Sons and being super hot. Who voted for him? Please, tell me.

Tyler's comment on the vote:

"You love me! You really love me! Oh, thank you, thank you so much!" (has tears in his baby blue eyes) "But wait - You want to be me? That's not - no, you mustn't be me! Get out of my head now! Get your own life! This is mine!" (angry baby boy face)