Hello Darlings!

Basically I'm just a regular girl who is completely and hopelessly addicted to fanfiction. Generally I think that fanfiction is a great way to immortalize something you appreciate, or even add to a storyline that you feel is lacking. Some shows/novels, though, I do not enjoy fanfiction of simply because it is impossible to effectively make a truly fantastic piece of media any better than it already is.

Name: Well you can call me Lyx, violet, viotox, toxy... Even raven is fine too... Or you know, just make something up XD

Gender: Female (I find most yaoi authors are, but I really respect the male ones)

Orientation: Straight but not narrow

Age: ... Well not old enough to drink, but who obeys the law anymore? lqtm... (not to mention I'm in Utah >_

Email: tatsel1392@yahoo.com; feel free to use it if you don't have a fanfiction.net account with which to PM.

Other Accounts: Lyraelix (IMVU chat; add me!), tatsel1392 (DeviantArt; I have no artistic talent whatsoever, but my favs kick ass... If you have/know of any pretty things, just let me know and I'll fav and comment), VioletIntoxication (adultfanfiction.net; my stories are all consistently posted on each site, though, so there isn't much of a point to even check it), and Lyx (Aarinfantasy Yaoi; best site ever... Sometime I'll be posting some original fiction there).

Best quote ever: "If love doesn't have a race, age, or color, then what makes you think it has a gender?"
I don't know who originally said it, but I got it from my dear Pervling... So a toast to RowanWolf!! Yay...

Another fantastic quote that comes from a reliable source and defines my lifetime mission to protect equal rights: "Of liberty I would say that, in the whole plenitude of its extent, it is unobstructed action according to our will. But rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will within limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add 'within the limits of the law,' because law is often but the tyrant's will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual." -Thomas Jefferson (eat that, Republican bitches)

I know that my profile is superbly and quite ridiculously long, but there were just so many fun things to put in!! And, you know, I have no life, so yeah... Really, though, feel free to just skip to the end or something; it's all just random shit anyway.

Concerning Crashing Memories:

I plan to have at least 25 chapters eventually, but perhaps more considering that I really don't even know how to begin to end it... (my SasUKE fantasies go on and on XD). Also, let me know via PM or review if you have any plot suggestions or thoughts. That includes things such as grammatical errors, plot discrepancies (sometimes I forget exactly what I wrote .'), or random details that you think should be revisited or played upon further.

REQUESTS:

I do, in fact, take requests, but I'm pretty picky... I only play on my passions. Here are a few special considerations:
1. I only do Sasuke-centric fics, and very very rarely anything other than SasUKE. That said, I might think about it if you have a fantastic plot (but, then, why not just write it yourself? and then, of course, why choose me of all authors?) or special circumstances; messages are always welcome.
2. I want details, damnit!! I don't want a fic suggestion without a plot idea, so when you make a request, please include the following with any additional details you desire:
- Pairing (obviously; if threesome/moresome, I want to know who is to top, bottom, middle, etc. and/or what acts are to be performed on who).
- Basic plot. I want a basis to go off of... Not that I need a step by step, but I would like a flow of circumstances or events.
- Past Events... Is the fic to be AU, modern day, or ninjaverse? And what plot alterations have been made? Who has been with who, when, and for how long?
- Age. That's pretty obvious... Estimations are okay concerning characters like Kakashi, Pein, Deidara, Hidan, etc. where exact ages are not known, but Sasuke's is vital.
- Oneshot? More? Not that I'd be necessarily willing to do more, but you never know... Oh, and word count estimation (I tend to kind of go over XD)
- A way to contact you. I will always go through ff.net private messages unless another method is preferred.
3. I tend to be quite lazy when it comes to fics, and I get writer's block a lot. There is no guaranteed deadline or publishing date (I can try to do birthday fics occasionally, but sometimes I'm just lame and it ends up being late anyway... Sorry Rowan :(

And now to stand up for my beliefs:

To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please repost this into your profile:
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Humor that I got from other random people's profiles (and a few favorite quotes of my own):

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

Quit shaking my yogurt, you'll make it turn evil!

Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away and you got his shoes!

Most people don't use their tongues to say hello... Or I guess they do, but... -Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A masochist, sadist, murderer, pyromaniac, zoophile, and necrophiliac were all sitting on a bench toghether bored out of their minds. To break the silence the zoolphile spoke up, "Let's have sex with a cat."The sadist spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it." The murderer spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it." The necrophiliac got excited and spoke. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, then have sex with it again." The pyromaniac spoke next, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, then burn it." They all fell quiet. The masochist then sheepishly smiled at them and said, "Meow."

I didn't lose my mind - I sold it on E-Bay!

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands or drawing an array, copy and paste this into your profile.

Smirk, it makes people wonder what you’re up to, while scaring the shit out of them at the same time!

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left

"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."--Willie Wonka (Johnny Depp), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge

If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself...

To know death, Otto, you have to fuck life in the gall bladder! - Baron Frankenstein, Flesh For Frankenstein (hilarious/gory/pornographic/awkward/awesome movie, but what else can you expect from Andy Warhol?)

Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
(BOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!)

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.

Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics

This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." -V, V For Vendetta (Hugo Weaving)

Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door

You laugh now, but will you be laughing when I crawl out from under your bed?

This shit is easy-peasy pumpkin-peasy pumpkin pie motherfucker! -Gerard Way (drunk and playing kickball XD)

I'm insane; what's his excuse? -Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi

I don't need to 'get a life'... I'm a gamer, I have lots of lives.

Save water; shower together.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but you can't help but laugh when one tumbles down the stairs.

(bumper sticker) This delinquent is having sex with your honor student.

Don't drink and park; accidents cause people.

I don't need sex; life fucks me whenever it can.

Star Wars is like duct tape, it has a dark side, a light side, and it holds the universe together!

"Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell." --Dr. Gregory House, House, M.D.

Support the fine arts; shoot a rapper.

Drugs; my anti... Wait no that's not right...

I'm not rude; I'm playing House. (as in the M.D. ha ha...)

It must be bunnies! Or maybe midgets... -Anya (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Have you ever wondered if your mom ever kissed you goodnight after giving your dad a blowjob? Well now you are...

Point of interest: rearrange the letters in Sasuke and you get "uke ass"... sexy, huh?

Incest; a game the whole family can play!

Oh and several of my favorite quotes are Demotivators. They are absolutely hilarious and actually quite true... Here is a link: http://despair.com/viewall.html

Hey go and take this quiz!! Ha ha ha I am going to the seventh circle! So how about you? http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

And take this one too at semeuke.com!! It is so awesome... I happen to be a Dramatic Uke lol...

If you hate soggy fries, homophobes, wanna-be Britneys, Paris Hilton, stupid Mary sues, stupid GARY stues, leafy veggies, warm soda, the killing-off of Sirius Black, getting disconnected from the internet, not being able to find the remote, living without cable, dropping your ice cream scoop, clowns who take their jobs WAY too seriously, hypocritical teachers who don’t like being corrected by you, arcades cheating you off your tokens, losing all your left socks, finding expired food in your bag, dropping soap bars while bathing, city-wide blackouts, cockroaches that crawl over you hand, people who don’t flush the toilet, annoying waiters, teachers who repeat themselves, breaking a lucky number 2 pencil during a test, getting molested by horny dogs, perverted stalker fans, getting tanned, brushing your teeth after drinking orange juice, people who flame fanfic authors, people who write and post crap on the net, getting lost in a mall, losing a small screw, dropping your cell phone thrice within 30 minutes, typos, post-its that don’t stick, the obsolete VCD, word problems you can’t solve, a dripping faucet, not being able to sleep at night, falling asleep in the bathroom, losing, slurping soup with soup spoons, not being able to get that last drop of diet coke in a can, getting paper cuts, finding mysterious bruises on your body, being called ‘sensitive’ by people whose asses you could kick hands down, not knowing what certain words mean, not having a dictionary to use for knowing what certain words mean, flies that annoy you while you’re eating, forgetting to zip up your fly, not being able to solve a rubix cube under a time limit, boring rip-off movies that lasts for hours, missing your favorite TV shows, the end of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, forgetting what you were thinking of 3 seconds ago, watches that say ‘waterproof’ but are not, having cheese stuck under your nails while eating popcorn, Albino-haters, mocha-flavored candy, forgetting to write your name on your test paper, forgetting your own birthday was yesterday, people who want you to give a shit, people who suck up to the teacher just because they’re failing the subject for the third time, people who pee on walls, people who think Salmonella is a person, HP crossovers that make no sense, fanfic writers who make HP crossovers that make no sense, cheesy pick-up lines, Pokemon re-runs, getting yourself locked in a closet with your worst enemy, people who aren’t aware of how superior you are to them, running out of gravy while eating KFC, Writer’s block, people who think they’re EMO if they act EMO, people who confuse EMO with GOTH, people who say anime and cartoons are the same, Americans who attempt to recreate anime on their own, people who say Avatar is an anime, metallic paperclips that rust, people who think Egyptian mythology is boring, people who think Cleopatra was a slut, people who hate Alexander the Great just because he was Bi, Sushi gone wrong, accidentally swallowing chewing gum, computer Viruses, waking up with bad breath, Barney the purple dinosaur, people who discriminate, parents who play favorites with their children Congratulations, you are awesome. Please COPY and PASTE this on your profile

Special thanks to DancingDragonBlaze, The-Evil-Meh, Necropolis demon, Kurai Himitsu, Thorn-the-Fastidious-Witch, and probably a few more that I accidentally forgot (please let me know if anyone finds an inconsistent or missing source) for having awesome profiles for me to build my own with!

THE NARUTARD SURVEY! NARUTARDS UNITE!

1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)? Sasuke, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Gaara, Neji, Suigetsu, Hidan, Kakashi... And probably several more... Really Sasuke is just my all time favorite and the rest just fuck him as I please XD

2. What is your favorite pairing(s)? ItaSasu, OroSasu, KakaSasu... And so forth... SasUKE is my only requirement.

3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan? Yaoi all the way... Some hentai is okay, but yaoi is just so much better.

4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times? ... No. I don't think I'm really worthy... Besides, I have no idea as to who I would be.

5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any: I have like 10 posters... Oh and five headbands... And hell yes 9 Akatsuki rings!! (goddamnit I'm still missing Zetsu's...)

6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who? Nope... Again, I'm just not worthy. They're all too beautiful, and I can't really see lots of them with anyone but each other, so oh well...

7. NaruHina or KibaHina? NaruHina. She deserves to get him after being so loyal and liking him for so long... Besides, I think it's cute XD

8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru? Actually, I'm okay with both... See, SasuSaku is okay as long as it is in the past. SasuNaru I actually prefer as NaruSasu... (way too obsessed with SasUKE yeah...)

9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai? Team 7 just because Sasuke is/was there once... Also, Kakashi is amazing!!

10. Do you support the obito theory? (Tobi=Obito) Hell no. We all already know that Tobi is Madara; no question.

11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory? Uh... Yeah... Minato/Yondaime is indeed his father, as it has been proved... Besides, their looks give it away.

12. Your favorite Akatsuki member? Ooh... Hard question... I guess my favorites are Dei and Itachi, though... But then I adore Kisame and Hidan... GRRRR I don't know! Besides, every member is so fucking cool...

13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?... Obviously Pro; I just love his personality and appearance! And his history and character attributes are so well developed... He is by far the best in the entire series.

14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)? Hell yes!! And I read the manga every week XD I hated the goddamn fillers, but going through all that shit to get to shippuden was totally worth it!

15. Have you read all the chapters so far? As I said before, yeah! I ADORED the manga... Well when it was all about Sasu... But now I'm pretty damn pissed at Kishimoto's LAME plot ideas... WHY?! It was just so good for a while there...

16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD? Yeah probably... I don't really care enough to look into it too much; he's just so damn annoying!

17. Sub or dub? DUB all the way! I live for Yuri Lowenthal's perfect voice (he is Sasuke of course); his emotions are just so fantastic!! Oh and Kakashi, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Gaara, and Itachi's voices are all perfect as well! Voice actors are so incredible...

18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura? Hmmm... Pro-Shippuden Sakura, but Anti-Uzumaki Chronicles Sakura. She kicks ass in shippuden! (well, in one battle at least...)

19. Tobi = Annoying or funny? Totally hilarious!! Besides, "Tobi is a good boy!"

20. Do you even know who Tobi is? ... Obviously.

21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd? I'll have to go with neither... See, I love his personality and obsession with youth, but he is NOT attractive; I don't care what anyone says... It simply isn't him, but I do still love him in his ugly green beast way!

22. Which character would be the best crossdresser? SASUKE would be the hottest... Orochimaru's got it down pretty good though (or does he count as a transsexual because of his body during the Hokage fight? hmmm... well now I have something to ponder...).

23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome? Awesome. He's just soooooooooooo cute! Lol... Yeah I love him...

24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how? Ooh... I think Sasuke would be an awesome whore. Like, he could have gone to Orochimaru for a good fuck and be trying to find Itachi for the same reason XD

25. Do you like Naruto fanfics? Obviously.

26. Do you write Naruto fanfics? Now I do!! Yay finally posted something!!

27. Do you like lemons? Citrus fruit? Fuck yeah! Lemons are fantastic (as long as they are well written of course) and a must for yaoi fanfics!

28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters? ... Kind of... Once she found a lemony fresh fic I was writing with OroSasu and ItaSasu throughout... Oops O.O That was SUCH an awkward situation... Anyway, not too much other than that, and they always pronounce the names wrong. GRRRR

29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series? No...

30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes? FUCK YEAH!! I live for those things! I remember when I first saw them I didn't quite know who Itachi was (and him singing Hollaback girl totally threw me off) so I thought he was a chick... AWKWARD

31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto? Kind of... I have a poser friend who sort of pretends he likes it.

32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it? Again, kind of... I've been writing it and my innocent friend noticed and wanted to read the fic... It was another lemony fresh one too... AWKWARD

33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?' ... No... I can't really draw all too well...

34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades? Not really... I was completely antisocial before I started watching it... Though I do laugh randomly a lot more because someone makes me think of a character or scenario lol

35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto? Nope! Unfortunately no good anime stores in the immediate area...

36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise? I would definitely try it! But if it's heterosexual (which I believe it is) then I'd probably stop after a while.

37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory? We all know that it is Pain; Jiraiya's former student or something... LAME! Why the hell can't people just realize that Obito and Yondaime are DEAD?!

38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery. ... I wish I could, but I have no artistic ability whatsoever. I have a ton of DeviantArt favs though!

39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal? Hell yes. Sasuke is always beautiful, and though his 2nd stage is weird, I still love it!

40. Do you have a Naruto OC? FUCK NO!! I HATE OC'S!!

41. How was the fight between Sasuke and Itachi? The actual battle was pretty lame, but the end was SO SO CUTE!! I love how Itachi poked Sasuke's forehead one last time sniffle sniffle Yeah I was sobbing... SO ADORABLE!! Itachi loves Sasuke!!

42. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life? Yep. Along with anime in general, of course...

I am fully aware that the following stereotype list is on everyone and their dog's profiles, hence it should be on mine as well! XD... Anyway, the bolded ones fit me. And there really are quite a bit...

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.(EMO IS A TYPE OF 80'S MUSIC)
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

(\_/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and Paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!!

Anyway, one of my specific obsessions happens to be yaoi fanfiction (as mentioned frequently above). There are many animes that I positively adore, but for some reason I just don't read fanfiction for; maybe it is just because they are so great that they don't need my sick additions to make them better. Most specifically, I read Naruto yaoi fanfiction involving Sasuke and practically anyone. I approve of almost every pairing with Sasuke, but here is a list of some of my yaoi preferences, dislikes, and opinions.

Itachi x Sasuke - Quite possibly my all time favorite pairing. The best fics are where Sasuke finally realizes that Itachi killed the entire clan so that he could have him all to himself. Once again I like the story to start out with the rape of poor little Sasuke (I am way too obsessed with such things happening to him, I know), and then take a violent turn towards the ultimate masochistic passion that neither have ever experienced with another. Itachi is best as seme, but i have read a few AU fics where Sasuke was a wonderful seme. I think of those as exceptions to the rule, though. Honestly, Uchihacest fics come in all different styles and universes, and I love almost all of them; really they just have to be fucking and I'm happy XD

Orochimaru x Sasuke - I am most attached to fics where the sex is rape at first until Sasuke finally realizes how much he wants the snake to fuck him into complete indifference and oblivion. Of course, Orochimaru will always be seme.

Gaara x Sasuke - Totally hot. Not much is better than the emo boys makin love... Just kidding, that sounded pretty creepy (but it's true) Anyway, I do love the pairing.

Neji x Sasuke - Another good pairing, but definitely tied with GaaSasu. Two supposed prodigies together is just nice...

Kabuto x Sasuke - Purrrrrrr... Lovely. Kabuto makes the best seme, but that probably has something to do with the fact that I just can't get enough of Sasuke being controlled... I like almost all circumstances, but I have to admit bribes are definitely the best way to go (for any and all pairings, by the way...).

Kakashi x Sasuke - Ooh... The whole teacher x student scandal... I love it.

Naruto x Sasuke - Honestly I'm just getting a little sick of it... There are way way too many out there. I mean, come one people, you really need to focus on the more likely pairings (like OroSasu or ItaSasu, for example...). I just don't see it ever happening; Sasuke can find a better fuck-buddy. But now, two Naruto's... Ha ha well kagebunshin use changes everything...

Kyuubi x Sasuke - So so addicting! I mean, really, whoever thought beastiality could be so damn appealing?

Suigetsu x Sasuke - Such an under-appreciated pairing... People seriously need to write more on the subject; I mean it was practically implied in the manga anyway...

Madara x Sasuke - Yay new pairing!! This first occurred to me when Sasuke woke up after he killed Itachi and he was all tied up... That was so hot! I know I'm not the only who was like, "Whoa... Did he just get molested?" ha ha... Well yeah but I know this pairing isn't very big yet (like half the fans aren't even to shippuden, let alone well into the manga), but I still quite like it... Maybe a fic I write will be one of the first!

Almost all other pairings I either despise, think of as ludicrous, or just don't gain pleasure from reading. I mean, one day I came across a Konohamaru and Sasuke fic; WHAT THE FUCK! When have they even formally met, people?! But anyway, I can appreciate ones with other random pairings; I just would rather focus on fics that are Sasuke-centric. Most of the fics I will continue to create will be OroSasu, ItaSasu, and/or just SasUKE in general. Seriously, if anyone in Naruto is together, it's one of those pairs. We all know that Orochimaru wants Sasuke's body; just for what purpose? Muhuahahahahaha... But even better, lets think about all the fun tricks Orochimaru can pull with that extra long tongue of his... cough cough prostate exam...

Anyway, above all else, Yaoi MUST include lemon or at least graphic lime.

Latest Obsessions... So usually I don't like any yaoi aside from Naruto because I think that is pretty much the only plot that is severely lacking, but now I'm getting into a few more categories... For example, I'm now totally addicted to RikUKE (lol Riku from Kingdom Hearts as uke XD) as well as Allen from D. Gray Man as uke... So damn hot!!

Oh and I BLOODY FUCKING HATE OC's! I absolutely loath them. The beauty of fanfiction is manipulating the characters we all know and love; if you want to create your own, then... grrrr... actually, just don't. The worst ones are where the lame-ass author tries to weave the character in so that it's like they were there with everyone all along! Ooh or the absolutely most pathetic fics are when the FUCKING AUTHOR tries to write herself (usually male authors are not like that... hmmm... can you say fanGIRL?) into it and have a love affair with a character. LAME LAME LAME! Ehem. Anyway, the single exception could be random minor characters with only background purpose. Still, I don't like them... (in FANfiction, anyway; obviously original slash pairings are simply wonderful)

I guess I'll share a little bit more about me... Oh god I am so bored... But yeah so I am practically obsessed with alternative/emo music, helplostkitty.piczo.com (check it out and tell your friends; it is quite intriguing), IMVU chat (the name right now is Lyraelix, so look me up and add me if you happen to have an account as well!!), and now for a more official list (that is not necessarily in order)...

Favorite Bands:
3 Days Grace
Hollywood Undead
The Used
Skillet
My Chemical Romance
Hawthorne Heights
ThouShaltNot
AFI
Linkin Park
She Wants Revenge
Depeche Mode
Children of Bodom
Nine Inch Nails
H.I.M.
Disturbed
From First to Last
Alkaline Trio
Atreyu
Marilyn Manson
30 Seconds to Mars
Dragonforce
Bullet For My Valentine
The Rasmus
Apocalyptica
Thousand Foot Krutch
Sixx AM
Cascada
Groove Coverage
Mindless Self Indulgence
Evanescence
System of a Down
Metro Station
Orange Range
Ali Project
High and Mighty Color
Assemblage 23
Wumpscut
Basshunter
Neuroticfish
Access
Alucard

Favorite Anime/Manga:
Bleach
Death Note
Hellsing
Mirage of Blaze
Naruto (Shippuden; especially the manga!!)
Inuyasha (just for Sesshoumaru)
Fullmetal Alchemist
Trinity Blood
MAR: Marchen Awakens Romance
Black Cat
Code Geass
D. Gray Man
Rust Blaster (really short, but damn good)

Favorite Authors:
Stephen King
Anne Rice
Garth Nix
George Orwell
Sidney Sheldon
Mercedes Lackey (specifically The Last Herald Mage series)
Tanya Huff
Christopher Paolini
Dante Alighieri
William Shakespeare
Nisio Isin (Death Note, Another Note: Los Angeles BB Murder Cases!!)
Lewis Carroll

Favorite Video Games:
Zelda: Twilight Princess
Kingdom Hearts (mostly the second one at the moment)
Devil May Cry
Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness
Sims (almost all the games)
Prince of Persia (all three)
Final Fantasy (I do adore the characters that I know from KH)
Harvest Moon (creepy, huh? I don't know why I get addicted to stupid things so easily)
Final Fantasy: Crisis Core

Favorite TV Shows:
House
Seinfeld
The X-Files
Ninja Warrior (Sasuke)
Lost
The Office
I Love the 80's (and almost all other Vh1 productions not including celebreality)
Psych
The Whitest Kids You Know
Talk Sex With Sue Johansen
Anything involving Dane Cook
Comedy Central Presents
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
That 70's Show
Weeds
Buff the Vampire Slayer

Absolute Favorite Movies:
Saw 1-5
Hostel
Batman Begins & The Dark Knight
The Prestige
Brokeback Mountain
Clue
The Rock
Highlander
History of the World Part I
Blazing Saddles
Hackers
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!!
Poison Ivy
Pet Sematery
V for Vendetta
Kill Bill Vol 1&2
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
Troy
Fight Club
The Matrix Trilogy
The Rules of Attraction
Sleepy Hollow
From Hell
Resident Evil 1-3
Corpse Bride
Minority Report
10 Things I Hate About You
The Breakfast Club
300
Casablanca
Edward Scissorhands
Mr. Brooks
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Dead Poet's Society
Interview With a Vampire
Wayne's World
Silence of the Lambs
Hannibal
Hannibal Rising
Secret Window
The Whole Nine (& Ten) Yards
Stand By Me
Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3
Indiana Jones (both old and new)
The X-Files
Star Wars Episodes 1-6
Lost Boys
Constantine
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Repo! The Genetic Opera
Milk
The Wrestler
River's Edge
Final Fantasy: Advent Children
Wonderland
Mulholland Dr.
All Over Me
Flesh For Frankenstein
Hollow Reed
Stay
Wristcutters: A Love Story
Delirious
Angels and Demons
Public Enemies
Bruno
The Men Who Stare At Goats
Zombieland

So I doubt that anyone has so much as glanced at this page, but hey, I am bored out of my fucking mind, hence I am randomly editing my profile... In any case, I am always looking for new stories, and recommendations are always welcome (and incredibly helpful). Oh and go read my stories! Yay SasUKE... 'Always' was a birthday present for my friend RowanWolf, and, unfortunately, was a bit rushed... 'Crashing Memories' is my pride and joy that I've been writing forever; it's ongoing, of course. So GO REVIEW!! Also, if anyone has read/is reading the latest Naruto manga then please feel free to email me about it; I would love to discuss it with someone who actually knows what they are talking about... And actually that goes for any subjects we have in common; really, I am just bored most of the time.

PS... I finally deleted my Chuck Norris and Dead Baby jokes sections, but if anyone misses them let me know and I'll send you a copy. Thanks for reading! (or skimming/skipping...)