(Just a note: People? I'm very demanding. I want you all to not only read my stories, but visit my piczo site. Ok? Ok. It's www.the-funny-looking-princess.piczo.com)
Hi.
I'm Mariya.
But you can call me Mia.
Or Mar-mar.
I am aged somewhere in between 0 and 7 474 736 543 605 864 856 478 568 746 578 346 509 465 034 075 634 065 years old.
You should have a pretty good idea of how old I am now.
My birthday's in May!
Yay, May!
I like rhymes.
I'm a Taurus (toro, toro, LOL).
I'm obsessed with teddy bears, and stuffed animals in general.
CG; Seriously, I think that the first eleven lines of your profile is enough to give the reader an idea that you are no older than five, but it actually turns out that she is-
Me: ( slaps hand over Vicky's mouth) You aren't supposed to say! Yidigouknidigowthidigat!
I am totally a weirdo, and totally friggin proud of it.
And I have a black cat.
I wear glasses.
With a red rim.
But mostly you can't see the lens.
My glasses are always dirty.
I don't know how the heck that happens.
Oh yeah, I'm Ukrainian.
Most people think I'm Russian.
But that's ok.
I have too many friends.
One is a goth, one is a short peace-maker/annoying singing machine, one is a violent teacher's pet, one is an overly sensitive drama queen-
(Said Drama Queen comes on stage)
Cryptogirl: Ahem!(glare)
ME: Umm, hi, I was just talking about y-yo-yo-you...hey, wait a minute, this is MY profile! Get off!!! Shoo! SHOO!!!
CG: Hi you guys, visit my profile too. Here's the address: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1296296/cryptogirl
(me)
Gasp! VICKY! How DARE you advertise!!! (growls threateningly, but even while I growl, I look awesome as always)
CG: Oops, well I guess I better get going! (laughs nervously)
ME: That's right, you better be scared, girl! (smirks, yet looks hot)
What?
No, I am not vain.
CG: (Comes back with Sesshomaru) She was making fun of me! ( points to Mariya)
Sesshomaru: (Cracks his knuckles( pretty loudly too))
Mariya: Shoo! My profile!
(pushes Sesshomaru off stage)
Like I was saying before I was so RUDELY (ahem Vicky ahem) interrupted, one uses too many arm movements, one is a tall lovable figure-skater, one is boredom and beyond (improving quickly, proving to have a personality), one is obsessed with the words I don't know and uses them as much as possible, one has to cheer me and Melissa up constantly, and one is the Queen of all Things Weird.
Wenbo: Yay! Go weird! I'm weirdlyXobsessedXcrazyXchick!!
ME: ignoring and keeps on talking
Two have braces.
Two of the crazy messed up friends that I have are obsessed with Naruto.
Two are obsessed with Magic Eye puzzles that hurt my eyes.
Two act like everything's peachy keen between them but really, they hate each other.
CG: Actually, they act like they hate each other, but are actually the best of friends.
Mariya: Right... As I was saying,
What?
You want me to shut up?
Right.
Shutting up.
And I have decided to take one under my wing, to teach her the Wonderful Ways of the Weird.
CG: Poor Annie.
Wenbo: Hey! I'm the main teacher!
She's a good student.
And she's a good project partner!
I'm finally allowed to sit in the front seat of the car.
I'm in the gifted program at school.
Waaah, I don't wanna be a neeeeerd!
Although, nerds are delicious.
Especially the cherry lemonade ones.
But that's not the point.
I'm getting side-tracked.
I do this a lot.
Please read my stories.
Do not hate me for my weirdness.
Or my messed up friends-
CG: MARIYA! (Mariya-me-is more important)
(hehehe)
CG: Dope, you gave me the password to your account so I could help manage it, but I also gave you mine too and that's why our profiles are so damn weird. But it's fun!
(me)
Even though I love them all.
Linda, do not shrink away at the mere suggestion of love.
Nicholas, if you do that weird dance one more time...
You shall live without hugs.
Oh YES! I dare.
Wenbo, or should I say, "Grass Grower", do not lick me.
Or criticize me.
Or-
Wenbo: EW! I will not lick you! Lez! You're sick minded.
Never mind.
Wenbo: AND, Grass Grower was SO 4 months ago.
Shut up. Now.
Vicky, stop flirting.
CG: Whatever, you don't know the definition of flirt, Cokie Mason is a FLIRT. You and I should know.
(me)
That doesn't unprove my point, you know.
You ARE a flirt.
It's disgusting.
I've never had a crush, and you've had 10000000000000000.
What?
You heard me right.
I've never had a crush.
What, you have a problem with that?
Do ya?
Do ya?
Huh?
Cathy, stop punching me.
My bruises are too big.
My mom will faint at the sight of them.
Meghna, NO MORE EYE PUZZLES!!!
I'm already half blind.
Annie, shut up.
No, wait.
TALK MORE!!!
PLEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE!
And, great job on the Gazette!
I could kiss you!
But I won't.
That would be creepy.
Judy, you're the only semi-normal one out of all of us.
So be proud.
Except for all of the freaky arm movements.
But other than that...
Vicky: Is this YOUR profile, or some random web page when you describe all your friends to the public?
Wenbo: Oh! Please do! We must brainwash the world with WEIRDNESS AND YOUTH!
ME: Vicky, up-shut. Wenbo, YES WE MUST!
Ok, all of you.
Start reading!
Vicky: For those of you people who are like HUH? I'm also a writer on FF! Read my stories too, and review please, DON'T FLAME ME! Okay, I'm done.
And I know that's most of you.
(Me again. Did you miss me?) Vicky... (growls threateningly)
ME: BONZAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!! (jumps on Vicky's back and starts beating her with bamboo sword. Threatening, yet beautifully hot.)
Vicky: AHHHH!!! Wait, I know karate!(extremely bright, that girl.)
Wenbo: Stays in background screaming about youth and weirdness
(Jamie and Melissa choose that time to come onstage. Bad timing, those two.)
Melissa: Hey peoples of Canada!
Jamie: Hey! Who's the girl Mariya's fending off with a stick?
Melissa: It's Vicky, and that's a sword, Jamie.
Jamie: Oh.
(both burst out laughing when I show them my index finger and say the word pudding, then Jamie decides that she likes the sword and steals it away from Vicky)
ME: (calmly) Hey! This is Vicky. Vicky! Say hi!
Vicky: Hi Jamie! Hi Melissa! Bye Jamie! Bye Melissa!! Ow! That was un-necessary!
(at this time, Jamie and Melissa start to fight with the bamboo swords they stole from me and Vicky)
ME: Wait a minute, WAIT A MINUTE!!!
(utter chaos stops to listen to the all-mighty owner of this profile)
ME: I seem to think that this is MY profile!!! Now, I have a few guests I would like to invite. Voldy, Happosai, and, hmm, let's see, who else? Ah yes, the Wicked Witch of the West! I summon you all!
(silence)
ME: FREE ICE CREAM!!!
Voldemort: You DARE say MY name?!?
ME: Yes, I dare because first of all, you aren't real. And second of all, you are getting veeeeery sleeeeeepy (hypnotizes Voldy to make him think that I am his queen).
ME: Now, go and scare Vicky a bit.
(rushes off to scare Vicky, clumsily bowing to me)
Vicky: OH MY GOD IT'S VOLDEMORT!!! AHHHHHH!!! SAVE ME!!!
(turns around and looks thoughtful)
Vicky: Wait, I thought you were dead!!!
Voldemort: I am. So? Dead people can be scary too! In fact, we're even more scary cuz you can't kill us.
Vicky: Oh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
ME: That takes care of her. Now, where are those-
Wicked Witch: Sorry we're late. Some brat dropped a house on my sister. I was at her funeral.
ME: That's ok, now, Happosai-
Wenbo: OMG!!! IT'S SUPER PERV! RUUUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!!
Happosai: Ooh, so many girls here. (eyes turn into hearts)
ME: Shut up and go clean up.
ME: And Ms. Witch, please go separate Jamie and Melissa before they hurt themselves.
Melissa: Ow.
Jamie: Ow.
Vicky: Too late.
(scene fades out)
Oh, and, the hypnotizing a chicken thing? That was from the queen of weird herself-Wenbo.
If you think Tony the Tiger is on steroids, copy this on your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile
If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
98 percent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you like brownies, paste this into your profile.If your profile is long, copy & paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you irritating mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.
If you like chocloate as much as I do copy this in your profile.
A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile
My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile
If you have run into a sliding glass door paste this in your profile.
If you have mistaken a cat with a skunk paste this on your profile.
If you have slept for almost a whole day, paste this on your profile.
If you have taken a practical joke to a whole other level, paste this in your profile.
If you have been on YouTube for more than 5 hours, paste this in your profile.
If your pride gets in the way of your decisions, paste this in your profile.
If you have ever acted so evily and unpredictably random one moment then completely forget you did anything and your friends now believe that you have a bad case of short term memory loss, copy and paste this on your profile
If you have spelled your name wrong paste this in your profile (CG:On a test that scored perfect no less! -bangs head against wall-Mariya:Shut up!)
If you had your friends call you an evil, sadistic, malicious, manipulative, conniving, mean little girl, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile (CG:Can you believe it? I mean, falling DOWN the stairs yes, but UP the stairs too? Thats just totally me!Mariya:Do I have to follow you everywhere? Wenbo: I've fallen ACROSS the stairs... does that count?)
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! If you are really random put this on your profile.
If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you think furbies are evil mind controlling igits waiting to take over the world paste this in your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you think that i'm making you think too much then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever felt the undenilable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not, copy this into your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. (CG: This one's not for me, it's for my friend Wenbo, yes computer, Wenbo is a word, it her GODDAMN name! Mariya: VICKY GET AN EFFING LIFE ALREADY!!! Wenbo: being an ultra hypocrite Omg! You sweared!)
30 of kids go to college. the other 70 either drop out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are on of the 30 that KNOW that your going to college put this on your profile and add your name to the list. EcoliandDahChihuahua, Gaara's-pandachan101, Hillarious Tragedy, Bruce n' Charlie, SesshoumaruKougaNarakuFanGirl, cryptogirl,insanityrocks147
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
If you have an army of purple cats with rabies and with flame throwers at your command copy this onto your profile.
If you think that Mickey mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar then copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return ManLife Sucks, Avatarwolf, danyan, Zutara Lover, SesshoumaruKougaNarakuFanGirl, cryptogirl, insanityrocks147
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, SesshoumaruKougaNarakuFanGirl, cryptogirl, insanityrocks147
You know you're in the 21th century when:
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.
6.) Your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now youre laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.
If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste to your profile.
(\ /)
( . .)
C('')('')
BUNNY!
copy this onto your profile and help bunny take over the world!!!!
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