Funny quotes

Be in the pink of health, not in the red.

Favourite sites (go to google search and type this and you'll get them--The hyperlink is not coming because i haven't typed it properly)

Fanfiction.com (obviously)

Miniclip

Addictinggames(when I'm feeling childish--playing computer games)

Funtoosh.com

(and more but I'm too lazy to type it)

Sad Quotes

Pain Doesn't Hurt If It's All You've Ever Felt...

Funny Quotes

R.A.P = Retards Attempting Poetry

Why is rap called rap? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer.

Sad Quotes

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through"

"The cracks in the cement is a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break."

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad"

"Just because im smiling doesnt mean im happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears"

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?"

"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"

Others

"I like the idea of karma, you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it."

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life."

Sexy Ones

"Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!"

"Virginity is like a ballon, one small prick and it's gone forever."

"Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explination, or do you need a demonstration?"

Virgin is at the verge of; but not in!

If my right leg is dinner and my left leg is lunch, do you prefer the snack in between?

Other Ones

"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching."

"Life is a rollar coaster, and I'm not strapped in."

Question and answer time!

Question - Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Answer - God. God looks behind your ears, and if they're dirty. Your going straight to hell.

Question - In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

Answer - YOUR MOMMA!

Best Friends Mean:

Best friends means you don't abandon each other at the first sign of rain.

Best friends means you do what is right for the other, even when they don't want you to.

Best friends means you face your fears for each other.

Best friends means you asked for, and get, the truth.

Best friends means that nothing ever changes.

Best friends means you understand even when you don’t.

Best friends means you never forget and you always dream.

Best friends means you keep all the secrets they want you to, but not the ones they need you to tell

"Growing up means letting go..."

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.""Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

Favorite Quotes...

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

"Did you just stomp you foot? I thought only girls in movies stomped their feet."

"Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cook supper, and there would have been peace on earth..."

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"I was gifted but the psyciatrist took away my super powers."

"Insanity is my only means of relaxation."

Palm reader: "-gasp- You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it."

"In a world of nonsence, everything something is, it isn't, everything it would be wouldn't, and everything it would be, was."

"You have one advantage over. You can kiss my ass, and I can't."

"Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it..."

"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now..."

"Sticks and stones are hard on bones, aimed with angry art. Words can sting like anything, but silence breaks hearts."

"I can resist anything but temptation."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"If at first you don't secceed, sky diving isn't for you."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

"Have you ever wondered if this world is another world's hell?"

My favorite questions...

What is the speed of dark?

Why do they sterilize the needle for leathal injections?

Do coffins have lifetime garintees?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearange the letters in mother in law, you get the words, 'Woman Hitler?'

If heat rises, shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is it when we're talking to God, we're praying, but whenever God talks to us, we're crazy?

If a cow laughs hard enough, does milk come out of it's nose?

If someone with multiple personalities treatens to kill themselves, is it concidered a hostage sittuation?

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

A man gave a woman 12 roses, 11 real, 1 fake. He said he would love her until the last rose died; I wonder if I will ever be that women

I'm a dreamer who roams with her head in the clouds but is always being brought back to earth; painfully

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with your sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at cars. See if they slow down.

2. Everytime someone askes you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

3. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

4. Put a trashcan on your desk and label it 'IN.'

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks, and when everyone is over his/her caffine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with,"...in accordance with the prophecy."

7. Don't use punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip instead of walk.

9. Ask people what sex they are, and then laugh hysterically when they answer.

10. Specify your drive-thru order as 'to go.'

11. Sing along at the opera.

12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

13. Put misquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

14. Five days in advance, tell your friend you can't come to their party because you don't feel like it.

15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream," I WON! I WON! I WON! Third time this week!"

16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,"Run for your lives! They're loose!"

Funny Things:

Isn't having a smoking section in a resturant like having a peeing section in the pool?

I live in my own little world, but it's okay. They know me there.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

I am nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.

Everyday, I beat my previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.

Middle age is when you buy the cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

If your drunk driving, and you hear sirens, you know it's time to pull over. One of two things go through your head. You either think,"I can get through this," or,"Dang, I'm going to jail."If you think your going to jail, may as well have a little fun. If you have tinted windows, pull over real slow and unbuckle. Jump into the passanger seat, and re-buckle your seat belt, so it looks like you weren't driving. Wait until the cop comes over and shines a flashlight into the car, confused. Tell him,"He was here a minute ago! I swear I don't know where he went! He just dissapeared!"

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, Queen S of Randomness 016, Light Dragon SunsSong, Neassa, Peridot-Horntail, GinnyLovesHarry1995, StarShineSinger/Mousekateer,FreeSpiritedWanderingSinner

I, FreeSpiritedWanderingSinner, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I enjoy, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the Review Revolution. Post this same thing in your profile and spread the love!

Random stuff I saw on other people's profiles and stole

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever thought really hard about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is and hope he heard, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If when you have a boy, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a girl, you'd consider naming her Isabella, copy this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you don't review, I won't write. If I don't write, you won't review. If you think people should review after they read, copy and paste this on your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're nocternal copy and paste this in your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile

If it drives you insane when you someone asks a question and you answer it and they say why and so you answer that and then they say why again and you answer that one and it goes on and on until you can’t answer anything anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. 4 percent would be in hosipital trying not to breathe. 2 percent would be unsure whether to breathe or not. One percent would be crying over those who died. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the other 1 percent laughing your butt off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, Esme's Favorite Daughter,moonifrui, Isabellamariecullen3214,FreeSpiritedWanderingSinner

If you hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste (smiles)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies with sporks WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

if your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding and skidding is more fun!

I'm the kind of who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile

you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It"s when you argue with yourself and LOSE when its weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile.

Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.

If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile and add your name to the list. Sapphirepaw, hxcb, Silverwingedshadow, Meepisms, Bella, Silver-onyxfang, Isabellamariecullen3214 (yo)FreeSpiritedWanderingSinner.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.

93 of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy/paste onto profile.

If you like wearing black and acting goth, but aren't, post on profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.

If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If, with no warning, you laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, post on profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy onto profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy onto profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy onto profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract ou becuse you were busy copy onto profile

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything is possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Was that an earthquake, or did i just rock your world?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Why are the Force and ducktape the same? both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

I don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.

Last night i looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason i love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow ans say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?--Pervert/Farmer?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?

Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?'

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from the cocoa bean and all beans are vegetables?

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison !

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.

One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!

When i say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I smile because i have no idea what's going on.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

If you can't see he bright side of life, polish the dull side.

If you are wasting your time reading weird, witty, funny things off of someone's crazy profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this onto your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

This is part of bunny. Copy and paste him to your profile to help him take over the world.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! (yup that's me) Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you ring the schools fire alarm just to irritate the dean. (Thats me--FSWS)If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, i HAD A HEART ATTACK.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Come join the dark side. (We have Edward Cullen)

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like eggs. Tigers are pretty. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eyes.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Guys should be like Edward-rich,strong,and hot

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

...does this mean Edward is like a latte?

It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

News from the file marked "DUH"

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

He Said:

I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said:

You wear pants don't you?

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Edward Cullen I love you! Oops! Did I say that out laud?

Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.

Love can come in many different colours.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

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Being in luv is giving someone the power to hurt you, but trusting them enough, not to

Edward Cullen- Turning Straight Men Gay And Gay Women Straight Since 1901

If you are a NevillexLuna shipper and still love it even after JK Rowling said it would never happen, copy this into your profile. If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile! If you support finding a cure for breast cancer, copy this into your profile If you dance in the shower, copy this into your profile. If you have been called a fangirl/boy of anything or anyone, copy this into your profile. If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, put this in your profile.A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know copy and paste this into your profile. If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you’ve ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile. (my note: Sorry Lily! I would steal James Potter : )) If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

And now, the obligatory copy-and-paste-this-in-your-profile section!

If you think plagiarism is a stupid, pointless crime, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list: PhantomInvader, Fernclaw, Shining Zephyr, Leah Fenton

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile!

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

We're not stupid. We know that we're called Gred and Forge."

Fred or George Weasley (Never can tell them apart!), Harry Potter.

Harry Potter, Harry Potter

"Oh, it's you, is it? I suppose you've been doing something dangerous again?"

Poppy Pomfrey to Harry, Harry Potter

"Wow, I wonder what it would be like to have a difficult life?"

The Hero Himself, Harry Potter

"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She - er got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about youstaying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first."

Oliver Wood, Harry Potter

"Don't talk to me...Because I want to fix that in my memory forevor, Draco Malfoy, the Amazing Bouncing

Ferret."

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

"One person can't feel all of that at once."

"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon dosen't mean we all have."

Ron Weasley, then Hermione Granger, Harry Potter

"And from now on, I don't care whether my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die I'm chucking them out in the bin where

they belong."

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

"Well now,"

"-what with Dumbledore gone-"

"-we reckon a bit of meyham-"

"-is just what our new Head deserves."

Gred and Forge Weasley, Harry Potter

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE

WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew, Harry Potter

"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."

Sirius Black, Harry Potter

"Poor old Snuffles. He must really like you, Harry... Imagine having to live off rats."

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

"Personally, I'd have welcomed a dementor attack. A deadly struggle for my soul would have broken the

monotony nicely."

Sirius Black, Harry Potter

"An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can' do."

Rubeus Hagrid, Harry Potter

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"

Harry Potter, Harry Potter

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking

out of the back of his head!"

Harry Potter, Harry Potter

"You can't give a Dementor the old one-two!"

"There you go, Harry! You weren't being thick after all -- you were just showing moral fiber!"

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

"Don't play," said Hermione at once.

"Say you're ill," said Ron.

"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.

"Really break your leg," said Ron.

Harry Potter

"Fools give you reasons, wise men never cry...Once you have found her, never let her go!"

Emile de Becque, South Pacific

"I love you."

"I know."

Leia Organa and Han Solo, Star Wars

"I fought so hard to free you!"

Raoul, Phantom of the Opera

"It's an engagement, not a crime!"

Raoul, Phantom of the Opera

"Save the squirrels, deflate you tires!"

SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

I AM IN SIRIUS DENIAL! SIRIUS IS NOT DEAD! AND I WILL NOT LET YOU SAY OTHERWISE! If you too are in Sirius denial then copy and paste this into your profile. Because Denial is not just a river in Egypt!

"You ask me why I spend my life writing? Do I find entertainment? Is it worthwhile? Above all, does it pay? If not, then, is there a reason? I write only because there is a voice within me that will not be still."

Well, that’s about it. Say, if you’ve got the time to read my profile, perhaps you have time to read and review all my stories...?

And now I must flee... but dramatically!

-points to stories below before vanishing in a puff of smoke-