A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

-He who laughs last thinks slowest

Last night i looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason i love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers

He Said:

I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said:

You wear pants don't you?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse