Hey everybody, I'm TeamDavid0698 (No, the numbers don't stand for anything, in case you were curious). I like fanfiction, and I like writing, so, I became a fanfiction writer. Not the best one, but we all have to start somewhere, right?

Epic Transition #1

TeamD likes to think she is an evenly tempered person that everyone likes and looks up to. (Yeah, right!). However, there are ways to make her go "Hulk Smash" on you. For your safety, try not to be a total jerkface, besides, no one likes those anyway. Also, when writing in any way shape or form (unless you are not planning on showing it to anyone ever or until it gets edited) please, please, PLEASE edit and revise your work! TeamD understands that no one, especially her is perfect; but try your best to make sure we can understand what you are saying. TeamD won't flame you, but other people might.

TeamD also thinks that OC's are fine, as long as the author makes sure they are well-developed, and don't hog the spotlight, or ruin canon simply so they can be paired up with your favorite character from Harry Potter, although if it's a platonic relationship or a really, really close friendship with enough humor/crack that you wonder if it's serious or not, well, that's a gray area. She also has no problems with ruining canon, on the condition that you are still focusing around the main characters instead of the OC's or that it has a pairing that she likes.

Epic Transition #2

TeamD likes pairings, they make her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and fanfictions with a pairing she likes (that are well-written) are likely to get a several hundred word review from here. If you like that prospect, here are a few pairings that she begins to foam over the mouth about: (Alphabetized according to show. Favorite listed at the top).

Avatar: The Last Airbender (cartoon)

KataraxAang

SokkaxSuki

Drama-Con (manga):

MattxChristie

Gravitation (manga):

YukixSchuichi

Inuyasha (manga):

KagomexInuyasha

MirokoxSango

Naruto (manga):

SasorixDeidara (my new obsession - and strangely one of the only ones where a constant seme and uke is not needed)

SasukexNaruto

NarutoxHinata

Note: TeamD also likes Naruto and Gaara, but only as a Platonic love/strong friendship bond. She thinks the two are cute like that.

Ouran High school Host club (manga):

HikaruxKaoru (again, no seme uke thing, here.)

TamakixHaruhi

Princess Mononoke (Japanese animated film):

AshitakaxSan

Rosario + Vampire (manga):

TsukunexMoka

Shugo Chara! (Manga):

AmuxIkuto (Cat-man = awesome by the way).

AmuxTadase

Uglies trilogy (book series):

TallyxDavid (Guess what inspired my screen name??)

Ultra Maniac! (Manga):

NinaxHiroki

AyuxTetsushi

The Witch of Blackbird Pond (book):

NatxKit

Yu-Gi-Oh! (manga)

Puzzleshipping. That's it.

Epic Transition #3

TeamD, however, also loves about another two dozen fandoms whether or not she has any pairings in said fandoms. She will not bore you with the several that she does like (except Animaniacs, which she believes are one of the best Anvil-dropping, mallet smashing, American cartoons ever). But she will rant about several fandoms that she cannot stand.

Twilight: It's about one-third too long, predictable and unoriginal, S. Meyer has no sense of character depth or traits that make a "vampire" a vampire. TeamD also believes that S. Meyer only created the Twilight series to live out the sick fantasies of having a hot vampire worship you, so she pulled a 'self-insertion' thing by using Bella as a tool to accomplish this. TeamD believes that you are only excused for reading and liking this garbage if:

a. You are a girl under 16 and is incredibly high on estrogen.

b. You have no taste in books/haven't picked up a book in such a long time that you don't even know what a high-quality book is.

c. You're stuck in a dead-end relationship (or have an obvious lack of any kind of relationship) so pretending that you're Bella is the only way to prevent yourself from jumping out the window.

However, TeamD admits that while the book made her want to throw up (she did read Twilight cover to cover, so she did give it a chance). The movie was probably one of the best adventure/romance with vampires that she had ever seen. She recommends to skim the Twilight book (to get the facts) then enjoy the movie.

TeamD also hates High School Musical. And while she does admit several of the songs are catchy and worth putting on an iPod (providing you have a lot of GB). The movies are repetitive and boring, not to mention one of the worst movies Disney has made since Cinderella 3; and the only way she would be dragged to the third one is if someone drugged her and strapped her to the roof of the car, then proceeded to chain her to the movie seat and strap her eyes open.

Epic Transition #4 (Why, yes, I am keeping count! This also continues in my fanfics).

Now, TeamD is snarky, sarcastic, and possibly too smart for her own good sometimes. Several years ahead of her age in reading and possibly personality, she likes to tell people what she thinks and will not sugar coat anything. However, she is not some heartless uh, female dog type person. If you are truly offended at something she says to you or in general, and you politely tell her to please stop, then she will. Within reason of course. For example, if she makes some offensive comment about a mass murder somewhere that you may be related to, then please let her know so she can apologize and never make another comment relating to the said subject again (if she puts it in a story, there's a good chance she will even remove it if you again, ask politely to do so). However, if you want her to stop making fun of Twilight because "It's, like, the best book EVAR!!one1!!11" Then she will point and laugh in your face and continue to do so. If you still find her work offensive, then either learn how to suck it up and deal with it, or stop reading her stories. Okay?

Also, feel free to check out her blog at www.jennpulse.wordpress.com

Her DA:

http://sky12309.deviantart.com/

and Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Sky12309

Although you should just look at her Favorites: You might find something cool there. Also, ignore the France sign. I am from America. Dang; I should’ve picked Japan or something. Or maybe Mexico, that way, when I get messages from YouTube I can actually read them (learning Spanish, and I just like Japan, obviously.)

Also, TeamD loves to chat and/or write. She checks her e-mail a billion times a day. So, if you want to chat with her, send a review or PM. She would really appreciate it. Who knows? Maybe she'll like you so much she'll give you some gift fic or a link to a cool site. Either way, if you want to chat, look her up! TeamD hopes you like her stories and shower her with reviews. Well, at least like her fics. Have fun, peeps. (Oh! I love that book, too! Scott Westerfeld is awesome. Google him. Now. She commands you!)

Epic Transition #5

Now, a bit about TeamD:

TeamD likes reading in general, she likes anime, drawing anime, or drawing her own comic featuring all of her Original Characters. She also likes yaoi, and there is nothing you can do about it. Just don't expect her to write a lot of it anytime soon. Maybe in a few years, depending on how soon she either gets her own laptop or goes to college.

TeamD does not believe in political correctness, but she is not afraid to make fun of anything. Even the things she believes in or likes. She is not afraid to take something you worship and stomp it into the dust, if she hates it, but she will also not hate you forever if you insult her favorite band.

That is her form of political correctness: Nothing is sacred, even her own stuff. It doesn't matter what it is, if she feels like saying something, she will say it. It doesn't matter who's listening or who gets offended. This does not mean she will flat out insult you, but she will make a point of making a comment when she feels like she should. If you don't like it, deal with it. Feel free to flame, but she'll talk back. Either starting a flame war or making you feel like an idiot, depending what she feels like that day.

On a less serious note…

TeamD is a teenager who lives and goes to school in New England. She spends as much time on the internets that she spends sleeping and going to school. She has brown hair, green eyes and loves wearing headbands, like, everyday. She’s also freakishly tall for her age. Either that or all her friends are midgets, which they might be. They’re around 8 inches shorter than her.

Despite her height, TeamD isn’t fond of sports, while she’s a decent ghost or Gladiator doge ball player, she does not like basketball and cannot do more than a few types of passes and make a few free throws – depending on her luck that day. She also hates it when people always ask her if she plays basketball, so please, don’t do it.

TeamD isn’t antisocial, but she may have a peculiar outlook on life, so that she doesn’t feel the need to be surrounded by a dozen friends every moment of the day. She loves spending time with her friends, but if they aren’t around, she’s just fine with a book or her iPod. Oh, but she does love e-mail, which is why she likes to PM people so much. She’s just weird like that.

TeamD also is lazy, not in school or brain usage, but more along the lines of getting stuff done on a schedule. This is why it may take a while for TeamD to get her butt in gear and actually post something, though she does believe she is improving.

TeamD also likes to read a lot of fanfiction online. She likes Humor, parodies and romances the most. TeamD can write horrible, twisted horror/drama/angst but she would rather write funny stuff because frankly, she would rather be laughing than crying. Even multi-chapter stuff from her is probably going to be a bit light-hearted, but if she is willing to do a request, don’t be afraid to ask for angst. Even a difficult fic: she likes a challenge! Also remember, the more she reads, the less she writes, and the more she writes, the less she reads. But, if you have a fanfiction you read that you think she would like, or one that you wrote that you want her feedback on, feel free to PM her, unless she’s drowning in work, she’ll probably read it and give you an uber long review. She loves to talk/write to other people, as we have mentioned, half a dozen times so far. Yeah, sorry about that

Epic Transition #6

TeamD, while not being a member of fanfctiondotnet for eight years, has been reading fanfiction for roughly two years, her membership about six months shorter than that. So, she knows a bit about writing and stories: Especially how annoying it is when people can’t get their stupid story out in time! So, realize that if she posts a story, and seems to forget about it, she will probably have the decency to post a “Dear Readers” chapter to apologize.

Also, if TeamD writes a fic that she later doesn’t like, she will do one of the following:

a.) Delete it (She does this because if the story won’t have an ending, she doesn’t want more people to be screaming in agony over what will happen next).

b.) Delete it off of fanfictiondot net, but save it in her desktop to finish, or revise at a later date (For example, if she writes a story that is, like, made of awesome, but she hasn’t posted a new chapter in, like, a year, or it’s a good plot but has really sucky writing- at least to her – she will file it away, and perhaps post it again one day if she feels like she wants to take a crack at it again).

c.) Redo it immediately: she rewrites it, and makes a new story that she likes better that replaces the previous one. This however, is done so that you don’t have to wait and wait and wait to see what she does with the fic. In this case, the new copy goes up right after the old one is deleted, if she likes it so much that she has to re-do it RIGHT NOW!

Keep in mind, this probably won’t happen often, but if it does, I’ll post the stories (and what I plan to do with them) right below this message, and what they will be called, ect. Ect.

No stories yet.

Epic Transition #7

Because we all love to laugh, here are a few special quotes I felt the need to share with you:

Things That I Deem Very, Very Funny

A List of funny conversations, words, and phrases, compiled together by TeamDavid0698

(Note: If available, the source will be put under the context from which it was taken from. If there is any problem with the context, sources, or lack thereof, please contact me.)

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.

A. Sachs

I'd rather get my brains blown out in the wild than wait in terror at the slaughterhouse.

David Assael

-Barney? And... Harry Potter...? Ummm, go for it, I guess.

-It's not about whether I want to or not. It's about doing something that hasn't been done before.

Kaoru sifted through his mental files, “…nothing. Providing Tamaki doesn’t call us over, we have an empty schedule.”
“…shall we set the house on fire?”
“I’ll get the kerosene.”

Twice a Dream, an OHSHC fanfic by Fainn

"The physiology exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper."

"She's getting existential again..."

"It's okay; I have a super-soaker."

Because everything's better when you have a super-soaker! (XKCD)

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

"You once got shoved head first through someone's vagine; why are you acting so dignified?"

XKCD again. Very good point though. This is my excuse to act ten years younger than my age at all times.

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?

I assumed we were walking into a StarBucks

You always assume that.

"You guys are living the dream; and by dream I mean drinking water garnished with lime. I've always wanted to do that."

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work.

Instant gratification takes too long.

THE FACE PUNCHING WILL CONTINUE UNTIL _ THESE ARE OUR DEMANDS.

(Fill in the blanks for extra rage-induced fun. Like 'Twilight and its followers are banned from Earth. Or something.)

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Oh, I'm sorry; I can't here you from way over here. Outside the box!

Those "god damned queers" you old people speak so fondly of, and those cruises you love taking so much? ...Like flies to honey. There, I just ruined all your vacation plans between now and the grave.

(Fun with conservative old people!)

I'm not antisocial, I just don't like you.

When I set out looking for happiness; I didn't know it could get this good.

If I'm going to hell anyway, I might as well do it thoroughly.

"You're not a bastard as you make great fics!"

"And Hitler made some really good camps, but I still think he was a bastard."

(Clap for the Nazi jokes. CLAP.)

Scientists say that 1 out of every 4 people are crazy... so go check 3 of your friends, if it's not them... Congrats!

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Oh my god I am so calling it the Beard of Sorrow!

If the character coughs, THEY'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THE CREDITS. Also if they faint. If they faint 19 times out of 20 they're goners. That's even worse than coughin.

(Explaining on who to distinguish the hopeless cases in movies.)

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

"Tex! The zipper is being gay! And not the cool kind that you can take out shoe-shopping with you and check out hot guys with! I mean the only-in-it-for-the-butt-sex kind."

"Oh so you mean he's being your brother."

Reunions, Chapter 6. Once again, RvB slash.

Finals equal academic suicide

No, no... Tucker probably deserved it. Tucker usually does.

I know... I just haven't figured out a reason why.

At this point, does he really need one?

No... No, probably not.

Well, the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

Tucker is one sexy chocolate colored man.

"...Snow?"

"what?"

"Does it normally snow outside?"

"Well it sure as @#! doesn't snow inside."

"I'm going to get some gloves. Then I'm going to pry you two apart. Then you'll clean this place while I boil my hands. Then we're never. EVER. Going to speak of this again. Am I clear?"

I hear voices... They said they don't like you.

We won't have spontaneous sex anymore? Fuck that! I don't need marriage-

It'll be fine. You two probably won't make it through the reception. I know I didn't.

Reunions Chapter 6 again.

Go head-butt a bullet

Sex is good; more is better; too much is just about right.

-Least I Could Do

"Ad remember; when you wish upon a star, EVIL WILL FIND YOU."

I'm sleeping...Please IM me quietly XD

"Turnabout's fair play. You're the pillow now."

"You sure got over your personal space issues pretty quickly."

"It's cold in here. Just relax and enjoy the fact that I'm willing to cuttle."

Last three from Eternal Summer, I believe. An RvB slash fic on RvB slash (Which I am an avid fan/writer of - Sky12309 is my name for the curious.)

Looking at the mirror. Enjoying the view. Be back later : D

The walls told me not to talk to you.

I'm not available right now so please leave your name, number, and address and I will stalk you later.

You! Out of the gene pool--NOW!

Excuse my shyness, I'm not exactly dressed.

Due to circumstances within my control, tomorrow will be cancelled.

He needs Jesus.

(Clap for the Jesus joke. CLAP.)

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.

In a man's struggle against the world; bet on the world.

If you can't say anything nice, then at least have the decency to be vague

"Why are you doing him anyways? He's the enemy."

"I'm convenient."

"No you're a man-whore. There's a difference."

More RvB slash quotes :D up there

Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what is wrong with it.

I am currently occupied, give me a couple minutes to get frustrated and then I'll get back to you.

Love is that type of warm fuzzy feeling you get that makes you want to leap around a field with Daisies up your ass.

-Me! No stealing!

Summer Romances Suck

Whoever said, “Anything’s possible.” Never tried to slam a revolving door.

"Stop holding it like that! The instruments in Guitar Hero are not guns! This is not Half-Life! That is The All American Rejects! Not face-huggers!"

-Me again. I'm so clever :)

…Yeah, I’ll get back to you as soon as I finish staring at the wall for a few hours.

XD Wasn’t that great?

Epic Transition #8

And, the last bit I want to put in here before we leave (seriously, who’s reading all of this? We’re over 2,000 words now!) Are some reviews for some really great fanfiction stories. Romance, yaoi, friendship or just plain old crack, I’ll tell you about some of my favorite stories I’ve ever had the fortune to read (along with a quick description and why I love the fic so much. And a link to the story so you can review it, too!)

Because TeamD wrote almost all of this in one sitting, she is now too tired to leaf through her favorites and look at which ones are the top percent of the top percent that you should read. She will do this at a later date, she promises.

Oh thank, God! We’re finally done! Well, now you can get back to your incredibly dull lives (well, you did read all that, all eight of you). So, finally, I can say,

Goodnight everybody! …No! That’s Yakko’s line. What I meant to say was:

-TeamD out.