FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Alan Smithee |
Author has written 77 stories for Legion of Super Heroes, DC Superheroes, Daria, Wrestling, Final Fantasy I-VI, Final Fantasy VIII, Harry Potter, Pokemon, Final Fantasy IX, and Final Fantasy VII. All I need for a bio's below... | |||||||||
1. whacked Out wrestling Memorial »The most popular Internet Ongoing Wrestling series...was now a cult hit on the wrestling fan circuit...and is now here on FanFiction.Net, the triumphant return to the site for Alan Smithee after a nearly 4-year absence. Read it and see if he's gotten rustWrestling - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,299 - Updated: 3-18-05 - Published: 2-8-052. Life in 1071. reviewsChapter 1: Quistis finds a job teaching elsewhere. Will she be able to take the pressure of this new job?Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,774 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-3-023. Alan Smithee's shoot interviews a-go-go. » reviewsAfter a long-uncorrected mistake involving chaptering, this classic humor series is finally unearthed for the new FF8 fans. Enjoy!Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,206 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 1-17-02 - Published: 10-8-004. Androgyny » reviewsNew Chapter 2 on the "Alan Smithee Continues Stories" block: The aftermath of Zell getting trapped in a woman's body or something like that. Who cares: It's Alan Smithee, so you KNOW it's going to be good.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-14-02 - Published: 11-18-015. Coming Back Original. reviewsQuistis has a secret, and only Seifer can help her get it. Part one of...eh, who cares, it's a QUIEFER! You all love Quiefers! Review this piece!Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-12-026. ZELL! The Series reviewsFinally, after various problems kept it off the ground, ZELL! is on! See Zell's attempts to get through in his own major series!Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 580 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-18-017. The double-edged sword. » reviewsTwo differing looks at the rise and fall of a friendship, seen through the eyes of the characters' journals.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,243 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 7-11-01 - Published: 7-9-018. Old School. » reviewsEvery so often, an as-yet unknown writer manages to pull together a fanfic that is a complete success, a triumph of the human spirit. This isn't one of them. But it's a big-budget return to FF8 fanfiction for Alan Smithee, so you KNOW you want to read it.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,756 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 6-20-01 - Published: 6-18-01 - Complete9. Harry Potter Fanatics! » reviewsChapter 10...Dark Horse interviews Cho Chang!(Read and review this...please...I'll be your friend...I'll review your stuff...)Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,730 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 4-11-01 - Published: 3-7-0110. How to write a Songfic. reviewsZell teaches you how to write the perfect songfic. (Guest starring Mariye, because I'm returning and couldn't book anyone really big...)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,883 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-25-0111. HP Ballad... reviewsThe lyrics to a song found on some tattered parchment around the Hogwarts campus that I've put on for your enjoyment. (I happened to find that it could be done to the tune of the Crash Test Dummies' "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm," so I assume it was a song...)Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 154 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-15-0112. A life in Jeopardy! reviewsA thing done in class makes Harry try to change his ways.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 628 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-3-0113. My Final Chance at Heaven... » reviewsYou'll see why it's called this later on in the piece, this is just a prologue. (WARNING: Chances are that this series will be my last Final Fantasy 8 fanfic for a while.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,352 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 2-28-01 - Published: 2-22-0114. Running past the Dark Matches... reviewsVoldemort's somewhere at Hogwarts, and all the signs point to Harry...Is Harry actually the Dark Lord? (Based on actual events.)Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,679 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-24-0115. Tutorial: Introduction to Zelphie. reviewsZell and Alan Smithee join forces to teach the rules to writing a Zelphie fic (with fic example!)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,609 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2-18-0116. How to...Write a Successful Quiefer. reviewsWARNING: This is not Alan Smithee. This is a different author (who is not Alan Smithee) who took his/her name(Not Alan Smithee's name) off their fic and used the typical film code of "Written by Alan Smithee." It is not the actual Alan Smithee.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,051 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 2-15-0117. The Trip. reviewsThe gang goes bowling...Stuff happens...Come on, It's 1:30 Eastern! I should be sleeping...or doing homework...or something...Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,455 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2-14-0118. FFVII songfic... reviewsA test in order to see if I could do a good-quality FF7 fic.Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 867 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-11-0119. Thinking up titles is hard! » reviewsJUST ADDED: Conclusion to the fic.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 2-6-01 - Published: 2-4-0120. The Final Fantasy 8 Guide Series. » reviewsNEW CHAPTER: Kiros and Ward give their tips on getting the right job for you. SPECIAL GUEST STARS.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,748 - Reviews: 167 - Updated: 1-31-01 - Published: 12-20-0021. The History of Rock: Part 1. »A revamped version of some older Legion stuff, rechanneled to account for the decided lack of most Legion stuff(and the higher traffic level.)DC Superheroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,448 - Updated: 1-30-01 - Published: 7-23-0022. The Mis-Adventures of the aSure Shot. »Nothing really changed from the first part of the fanscript that has reached the biggest audience to date (GO ME!), but I needed to try and get it read in order. Review these parts!DC Superheroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,299 - Updated: 1-30-01 - Published: 7-24-0023. Quest for Homeostasis: Part One. » reviewsI had to skip a few past my last one due to time constraints (I'll get to them later), but here's the first of one that'd come afterwards. Two people get switched with Squall, real-toFFVIII, and hi-jinks ensue.(Lieberman Rating: Part one involves profanitFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,238 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-30-01 - Published: 10-21-0024. Stanley Kubrick Lied to us All: Prologue. » reviewsA piece to begin the millennium, a prequel to "Lunar Cry", an attempt to get a serious story to stick.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,397 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 1-30-01 - Published: 12-31-0025. Fashion Club: Part 1. » reviewsA parody of "Fight Club."Daria - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,517 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 8-4-0026. The Rather Shallow Fantastic Journey: Part One." » reviewsThe start of a story that I'm working on and eventually plan to work into a regular script.Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,717 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 8-20-0027. Extinction Level Event: Episode One. » reviewsEqual parts sort-of real-life spin-off from the games, natural continuation towards the games, and writer trying to get as big an audience as he can muster. R/R.Final Fantasy I-VI - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,444 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 8-31-0028. Killing It (How I spent my summer vacation):Part 1 » reviewsEvery so often, a fanfic writer (usually Alan Smithee) comes forth with something completely different and amazing. This isn't one of those times, because I tried to do part one of a Seifer/RinoaFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,694 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 10-27-0029. November 16. » reviews6 months after the defeat of Ultimecia, Squall is left with a completely different life. (Please review this piece with your thought on the end question, it could determine things in both fic life and real life.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,724 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 11-17-0030. Jihad: Part one. » reviewsIs it possible to make a successful Final Fantasy fic without any major characters or the person writing it in major roles?Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,200 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-29-01 - Published: 12-2-0031. Love, Challenges, and a Messed-up Hi-Fi. reviewsMy entry into Andromache's Valentine's Day challenge. (Review this and I'll give you: a spot on my Author Alert, (temporary with chance to get more) spot on my Favorite Authors, and an exclusive Song parody you cannot get on the site.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,780 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1-17-0132. One hour. reviewsZell needs to save himself, Garden, maybe even the world...and he's got one hour to do it in.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 499 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1-6-0133. A Zell Dincht Christmas. reviewsZell tries to find the true meaning of Christmas.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 968 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-24-0034. A.S's heartwarming Solstice tale. reviewsIf you've heard that idiotic "Christmas Shoes" song that's been going around stations middle-aged housewives listen to, you know it begged for this form of treatment. (I don't name the person, but you people are smart enough to figure who the character doFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 454 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 12-18-0035. HARDCORE XXX HERE! reviewsIrvine attempts to look for porn on the Balamb Garden internet hookup. (Once again, same deal, added: Review all of the ones I do this weekend (assuming I do two plus) and get an exclusive song fic !Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 12-15-0036. Indestructible. reviewsFINALLY, Alan Smithee HAS COME BACK to the FF8 board. As an extra bonus, review this fic (with e-mail address/signed) and I guarantee that I'll personally respond to you(Sorry if I'm ganking your deal, Mariye.) (Oh, yeah, it's a songfic.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 742 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 12-12-0037. FFIX: Counterpoint songfic. reviewsIn response to the fics I've wrote that detracted on FFIX, I decided to write one based on the one thing that the game has on all other FF games.(Well, that and the fact that every Final Fantasy 9-related fic I've done has led to hits that 90% of you coulFinal Fantasy IX - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 643 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 12-6-0038. The FFVIII Christmas Carol. reviewsFundraiser production of "A Christmas Carol" + Large amounts of alcohol and psychotropics + little sleep= this.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,986 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-4-0039. Plowed reviewsRock over London, Rock on Chicago, Mentos, the freshmaker.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11-25-0040. Irvine, the lonely action figure. reviewsOne day in the life of an Irvine Kinneas action figure.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 726 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 11-24-0041. Sunshine: An Irvine Appreciation Fic. reviewsThe only salvageable fic I intended for Irvine Kinneas appreciation day (Remember kiddies, don't watchFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-24-0042. Zell's Thanksgiving poem. reviewsZell decided to write a poem celebrating Thanksgiving and asked me to post it here. (WARNING: It is currently 4:15 a.m. on the East Coast. I used Adam Sandler lyrics as a template. DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 259 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 11-23-0043. Lament of the fic writer. reviewsSquall watches a movie and attempts to find the lyrics to one of the songs on the soundtrack for a fanfic.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 409 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-23-0044. After Garden. reviewsThe (mis) adventures of the Disciplinary Committee after the end of FFVIII. (Warning: fans of the trio, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,892 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 11-20-0045. FFVIII reviews FFIX. reviewsThe Final Fantasy 8 gang decide to write up a review of the hot new game "Final Fantasy 9." That's about it. Come on, it's a weeknight! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,312 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 11-14-0046. Squall writes... reviewsSquall decides to write for Selphie's website. (Songfic toFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 812 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-10-0047. The Songfic of Life...Ever have reflection make storylines for you? Said reflection turned this into a form of prequel to "Allegory 2000." R/R/LOVE.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,381 - Published: 11-10-0048. FFVIII: The off-season Summer Movie. reviewsThe gang decides to make its very own off-season summer movie.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 823 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11-4-0049. Hanging by a Moment. reviewsI reiterate, why do the ones that I most enjoy writing and most enjoy re-reading always end up with the fewest hits?Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 11-3-0050. LAGUNA LOIRE IN 2000! reviewsA paid advertisement for the Presidential campaign on the Write in ticket for Laguna Loire.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 506 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 10-29-0051. Ultimate Song Fic, Part One. reviewsPAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE OF ALAN SMITHEE DETRACTORS: Reason number one why no one, not even the *great* Alan Smithee, should try an album fic.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,401 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-28-0052. Saving Selphie Tilmitt: Part One. reviewsSelphie's gone missing in "our" world. The usual suspects pinpoint her location and run into some people, including one they know.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 10-17-0053. SongFic 2000. reviewsIrvine tries to level with Selphie about where they're going. (WARNING: Lack of Sleep + abundance of illicit substances+ Wesley Willis lyrics= Experimental.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 288 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-7-0054. Reunion 2000. reviewsLaguna and his pals go and hang out. (WARNING: See warning in SongFic 2000.)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 304 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-7-0055. Allegory 2000. reviewsExperimental. Insightful to Alan Smithee's inner condition. Using Wesley Willis lyrics. Probably done while candy flipping. So why is this one one of the most hit and most reviewed ones I've ever had? R/R/Love again.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 817 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-7-0056. Allegory reviewsWhatever you think it's about, that's who it's about. (But for category purposes, it's Irvine and Selphie, ok?)Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-6-0057. FFVIII songfic. reviewsWhy is it that the songfics that I most enjoyed making and most enjoy re-reading are the ones which get the fewest hits?Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-5-0058. Another Cheap Pop." reviewsSummary by Fujin: "BLOCK. FILING.TEDIOUS.PHONE.GIRL.QUESTIONS.BLOCK.POP. RAGE.RAGE.SOAP."Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-3-0059. Exclusive: SeeD Recruitment Commercial. reviewsHeadmaster Cid had allowed me into the Garden's media archives to snoop around. I found this early commercial script that they had used. For some reason, it's to the tune "Load Me Up" by the Matthew Good Band.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-1-0060. The Outsider." reviewsSomething I've done on small amounts of sleep and large amounts of "Vitamin E."Pokemon - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,490 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-30-0061. FFVII Rap Metal, or Why I now Fear Irvine Kinneas. reviewsIrvine's apparently going after a career as a psycho rap-metal singer. He asked me to send out his first single that's kicking ass. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's to the music ofFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 9-23-0062. Squall's first attempt at poetry. reviewsSquall sent his first attempt at anythingFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 374 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 9-17-0063. Rinoa does poetry. reviewsRinoa sent me this piece she wrote and asked me to put it on here. By a shocking coincidence, it can be sung to the tune ofFinal Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 164 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-17-0064. Harry Potter: The Final Chapter." reviewsJust something I wrote while bored. However, if anybody asks, it's a bootleg working copy of the final chapter to the seventh book in the series. R/R.Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 413 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 9-16-0065. The Great Beatdown(The Way I Am) reviewsAfter that craptacular one my detractors unearthed, maybe all of you should consider this one, an answer to the crap of "NAiCP", my first "official" FFVIII fic.Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,059 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-9-0066. New Adventures in Cheap Pops. reviewsPAID FOR BY THE COMMITTEE OF ALAN SMITHEE DETRACTORS: Do you think that Alan Smithee is one of the finest FF.Net talents with Final Fantasy? Well, we've unearthed his FIRST FFVIII fanfic. Read it if you want to see how bad he used to be...Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 295 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 9-5-0067. The WWF open season: European Title Edition. reviewsWith its ratings in a slump, the WWF decides to vacate the titles and institute open tournaments. This is the first of those. Warning: Contains insane choices of wrestlers in matches that are more hardcore than f**k.Wrestling - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,244 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-19-0068. Goodtime Slim...Part two of my revamp of my current fics to a more pleasing style. Re-read them and see about this.DC Superheroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,198 - Published: 8-12-0069. Shootings and Other On-the-job Hazards."As one Sub gets shot, another's feelings are finally brought to the forefront.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,317 - Published: 8-4-0070. Breaking the Walls Down. reviewsOn the eve of a formation of an alleged "Legion of Super-Villains", the Subs break off from the Legionnaires.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,411 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-1-0071. Don't all Graduation episodes of TV shows suck? reviewsThe Legionnaires decide to call up one of the Subs to the big team.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-29-0072. Saving the Privates of Ryder."The new Science Police Field Liasion/Legion deputy leader botched up his first mission and needs his name cleared. He needed the best. However, the best were out of town, so he got his brother and some of his friends to do it.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,117 - Published: 7-28-0073. Feather in the Cap: The Remix.It's been on the books for about a year that I had a remix of the fic I took second place for in the can, but I've been putting it on the backburner in favor of newer, more "real" fics. Now I have the room to, so here it is.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,579 - Published: 7-28-0074. 2 for the price of 1: A Retitled Import. reviewsThe Legion of Super-Heroes try and stop a Khundian war-ship, the expanded Substitute Heroes get their first mission together, and other stuff happens. Just read it, review it, and love it!Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,084 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-27-0075. El Roacho." reviewsAn older fic that I did; this one only has minor credence to the direction I'm trying to go in as of right now, but it does serve as a cautionary tale to all fic writers out there to never, EEEEEVVVVERRR, write fan fiction under the influence of popular bLegion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,527 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-23-0076. Figgle-dee-schtickens. reviewsSpark and Chameleon go back to their home planets and discover what people really think about their relationship.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,949 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-21-0077. Sucks to Ziggy Haphwyt. reviewsALAN SMITHEE'S GREATEST HITS: The first fic I ever posted here, moreover, the reason I found this place in the first place. A definite good thing to see if you're down with the A.S. tip.Legion of Super Heroes - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,413 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-20-00
