My own personal motto: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
I am now on the author alert list of over 1000 FanFiction authors. Thanks to all of you.
Broken Hearts, Shattered Dreams: Naruto and Sakura were once married and had a son, but she left them when Sasuke came back. Naruto removed himself from society until Ino decided to bring him back into their circle of friends. Now they're making a go of a relationship and Naruto's secrets are revealed one by one. At 8:31PM on 1-17-08, BHSD recieved its 100k hit. Thanks to all of you who made that possible. At 10:43PM on 4-7-08, BHSD recieved its 200k hit. Thanks to all of you who made that possible. COMPLETED
There is now a sequel to BHSD written by HolyDemonSnappenDragon. He has my blessing to try to entertain you with a continuation of my first fic. Give it a try. You can find his profile and the story here: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1560723/HolyDemonSnappendragon
Master of the Zanbatous: Jiraiya dies in battle with the Akatsuki and Naruto takes up his station as the Toad Sannin. Leaving the battlefield, he acquires the swords Kubikiri Houcho and Samehada, two massive zanbatous that are sentient. After two years abroad he comes back to Konoha to find that things aren't the same as he left and maybe certain things in the past weren't as they seemed. At 11:08 PM on 2-6-08, MotZ recieved its 100k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 9:01 PM on 3-29-08, MotZ recieved its 200k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 8:49 PM on 6-4-08, MotZ recieved its 300k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 10:28 PM on 8-23-08, MotZ recieved its 400k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. COMPLETED
FANART! This one is thanks to thiskagome. The pic is the blackmail photo from the joke 'Like Winnie the Pooh' : http://s136.photobucket.com/albums/q162/thiskagome/?action=view¤t=veryfunnynarutopicture.jpg
Bring the Hammer Down: Set in Shippuuden after Naruto and the gang meet Sasuke and Orochimaru for the first time. After several more attempts to bring Sasuke back, the last one ends in disaster and Naruto is thrown into a near death state where he meets Kami. She gives him another chance at life and a holy war hammer, charging him with the task of retrieving a soul that has become to tainted to remain on earth. At 7:23 PM on 3-2-08, BTHD recieved its 100k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 5:20 PM on 5-11-08, BTHD recieved its 200k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 9:44 AM on 8-5-08, BTHD recieved its 300k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible.
An Uzumaki Amongst the Dunes: Set in Shippuuden after Naruto and the gang fight Akatsuki. The battle was mostly a draw and Naruto finds out who his parents were. Denied his birthright by the council of Konoha, he takes what is rightfully his and journeys to Suna, to become a shinobi under Gaara. His life takes a whole new turn as he adapts to life in the desert. At 8:19 PM on 2-27-08, AUATD recieved its 100k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 6:37 AM on 4-7-08 AUATD recieved its 200k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 4:34 PM on 5-19-08 AUATD recieved its 300k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 11:19 PM on 7-3-08 AUATD recieved its 400k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 12:43 PM on 8-10-08 AUATD recieved its 500k hit. Thanks to all of you who made that possible.
The Melt: Starting from the beginning of Naruto's life and taking you through his life, explaining why some things came to be and why some things won't. Naruto is smart, powerful for his age, and is the chosen successor to the Sandaime Hokage. No pairing as of yet. At 5:55 PM on 3-31-08, The Melt recieved its 100k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 12:11 PM on 5-7-08, The Melt recieved its 200k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 1:50 PM on 6-18-08, The Melt recieved its 300k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible. At 9:45 AM on 8-5-08, The Melt recieved its 400k hit. Thanks to all of you who made it possible.
Paid in Blood: Limbo is a horrible place, the realm between Heaven and Hell, reserved for those who neither one wants. Naruto and Kyuubi were sent there and were left for centuries until Jashin found his newest disciple. Offered revenge against those who wronged him in the past in return for worship and blood offerings, Naruto agrees to be Jashin's newest disciple.
If you like my stories, you should really check out DarkHeroOrion. His story Birth of a Legend: The Fox Druid is really good and deserves more accolades. Visit his story and leave a review.
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On a side note, just a little peeve I have when reading other people's fanfics. Folks, the word is DEFINITELY, not DEFIANTLY. Defiant means that you don't want to do it. Definitely means that it will happen. You are definitely going to get those new shuriken, not defiantly going to get them. If you are defiantly going to get them, who are you being defiant towards? Keep those two words separate please. And another thing. The use of the word ALSO is becoming way too common. It's ok here and there, but use your imagination and linguistic skills to come up with something more palpable to the reader. Saying something and then starting the next three sentences with also makes your character sound like they have amnesia or alzheimers.
This is for those who decide to badmouth authors anonymously. In the words of Samuel L. Jackson
ALLOW ME TO RETORT.
If you do a review anonymously and you have nothing to say but bad things about an author and their work, then you are nothing more than a chicken shit. You give no indication that you yourself have any literary ability whatsoever and you give the author no chance to defend themselves against your argument, nor the opportunity to find out why you made the caustic comment. I have read many reviews for many different stories where anonymous authors are just outright RUDE, MEAN, AND DESTRUCTIVE to the author and the work that they put out. Your mother used to tell you if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I had an anonymous reviewer tell me that my story Bring the Hammer Down was a waste of time and a cheap imitation of Deus Ex Machina, a poorly written diatribe of watered down sexless smut. That is not constructive criticism. People who write fanfiction do so for their enjoyment and the fun of writing. It is not a paid service and the authors on FanFiction.net DO NOT OWE A DAMN THING TO ANYONE. If you cannot see the literature for what it is, pure fun and, as the title says, fiction, then stop reading. Don't read just to tear others down. If you think that someone wrote their story badly, write something better. Hell, if you think you can write my stories better than me, send me a proof and if it's better, I'll acknowledge you as being better than me and I'll take my stories down. I won't shed a tear over it because you have more talent than I do. Until that day comes however, there are other people out there who enjoy the thousands of stories that the authors on FanFiction.net put out and I, and they, would probably appreciate it if you would shut your mouths and take your fingers off the keyboard. Many good authors, I'm sure, have been ruined by harmful comments about something they've worked hard on. Don't be a rude asshole and not give someone a chance for rebuttal. We're here to have fun people and I don't enjoy writing angry tirades. I'm more of a humor guy.
If you agree with me about the anonymous assholes, PM me and let me know what you think. If you disagree with me, give me your argument, but give me the opportunity to retort. That's all I ask.
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I have a second rant for you folks.
There comes a time in a writer's life where sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it anymore to take the time out of our busy lives and write for people. Critics, readers, reviewers, all of you, sometimes, just aren't worth it. The people who insist on pointing out things in stories that they feel are blaringly obvious need to lighten up.
It's fiction folks, learn to let yourself be taken away.
A good story should be like a river, sweeping the author away into a whirlwind of possibilities and outcomes, in a tasteful and entertaining manner. But the problem is, some readers insist on fighting the current and don't want to be swept away. They cling to percieved reality, when in reality there are no set parameters, especially in fanfiction.
Let go of your way of thinking and allow the author to tell the tale. Don't browbeat and nitpick, just enjoy the story for what it is; entertaining literature put out by an author for your enjoyment and their amusement. It's free, you don't pay anything, so why bitch and complain if something doesn't go to your liking? There's a little button in the upper right corner of your screeen and it's real easy to just click it...
You have to let the story tell itself people. You can't always have your way, every story can't be the same. That's boring. If you think everything should be the same, adhere to the same rules, be written your way...write the damn story yourself. But don't tell authors how to write their own story. It's degrading and completely tasteless. Don't bash someone's ideas because you don't like them...
Except for yaoi...bash that till the cows come home...
Here's a comic to go along with that yaoi comment. Penny Arcade is written by two geniuses. Check them out: http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/4/11/
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Another rant for those who care:
I'm sick of people always saying that stories don't have a plot. I've continually had some people badger me because they don't know where the story is headed. Guess what? You're not supposed to. If you knew ahead of time, it wouldn't be interesting to read.
What about your life? What's the plot of your life? Do you know what's going to happen? Are you headed in a general direction? No. You take it a day at a time and wait for what happens. Read a story a chapter at a time, it's the same thing.
Most authors, the good ones, don't give everything away the first chapter. That's BORING and boring is a taboo word of this site. Try to be patient and just be entertained. I swear some of you have no fucking sense whatsoever when it comes to reading a story. Do you write JK Rowling and bitch at her because HP didn't turn out the way you wanted? How about Stephen King? Want to dig up JRR Tolkien and kick him in the nuts because the hobbits never had a nasty four way? WELL DO YOU?
People please. Just read the stories a chapter at a time. Enjoy it as entertainment. If you don't like a story, use that wonderful back button. Don't leave a stupid ass rant because you can't see into the future and see where a story is going. Not everything has to make sense right away. Pulp Fiction was an awesome movie, but you can't honestly tell me it followed a definite plot. No one has to.
In the words of Dov Davidoff: God told me to tell all of you to grab a glass of tea and a muffin and just cool out man. Just cool out.
I have decided to take what some people say to heart. If I have an issue with readers, reviewers, armchair critics, idiots, fanboys, fangirls, NaruHina haters, NaruSaku haters, Pairing war lovers in general, or the multitude of other morons out there, I will now post my little rant here, on my bio page. I'll let you know in a recent chapter if there is a new rant posted and I shall begin to date them so that you can know when my mind snapped and I had to get a rant on paper before I went on a fanfiction bloodbath...or just quit writing altogether.
For your enjoyment, the rant of the moment...
The Pairings Rant--5/29/08
Naruto x Hinata. Those words can strike fear into the hearts of some, lift the hearts of others, or just elicit an uncaring emotion from readers. It's a pairing that has been abused almost to the point of not being viable anymore. But, that is just the case...it's just been abused. Many make the case it has been overused, but I disagree. It hasn't been overused, there is just a lack of quality NaruHina stories out there.
Just as yaoi permeates the archives and makes it hard to find a good story without slogging through chest deep piles of buttfucking bishonen, the pile of worthless NaruHinas can be a daunting thing to navigate as well. Oh, there are those that stick out in everyone's mind. Team 8 is probably the most well known, at least to me. I'm sure there are others worthy of being mentioned and there undoubtedly is.
I'm in the process of maybe making The Melt a NaruHina for the moment. There is nothing wrong with this pairing and for all of you who have written me PMs, left it in your reviews, or sent emails saying that you won't read anymore because this pairing might be in the story I have just two words for you.
GROW UP
A pairing does not make a story. The ability of the author to weave an entertaining and captivating story is what makes the story. If you're reading for a pairing then you are, in my opinion, a moron. If you specialize in only one pairing you are a moron. There is so much more this site has to offer than a singular pairing. If you're a NaruSaku fan, do yourself a favor and read a NaruHina. You might be surprised. Same thing if you're a NaruHina fan. Read a NaruTema. You're missing out on a lot of good and entertaining stories.
You owe it to yourself to always try new things. In my belief, yes, Naruto should end up with Hinata in canon. But in fanfiction, I'd just as soon see him with TenTen. Or Anko. Or Kurenai. Or Ino. Or any of the multitude of women in the Naruto world. That's the beauty of fanfiction. He can end up with anyone he wants as long as there is a viable reason for him doing so. (Sorry yaoi fans. There's no way he'd ever end up with Sasuke...or any other boy. He's already stated an interest in girls and there's no changing that. No buttsex for the blonde, unless his chick's into that.)
The point I'm trying to make is that saying a fic sucks because of the pairing is just plain wrong and insulting to the author. I would never diss a fic because of a pairing. It's more than likely the grammar that turns me off to a story. That has killed my interest in so many interesting stories. I don't care how good the idea is, if you can't make it coherent, the spark is lost. It wasn't the pairing, it was your god awful grammar.
But practice makes perfect, and writers should be encouraged to experiment and get better. Telling someone their fic sucks isn't going to make them want to write more. That person could have been a budding author, the next Tolkien or Rowling, and you assholes just ran them off. They could have been our little jewel here on FF.net but your callousness made them stop writing. STOP DOING THAT!
There's a difference between criticism and being an asshole. Learn the difference. Pairings are good but don't bash them. I don't have anything against yaoi in particular except most of it is boy meets boy, boy fucks boy, boy and boy fall in love forever and ever. That's not literature, that's beat off material. At least have a story somewhere in there if it must be a gay pairing.
In conclusion, feel free to PM me and tell me what you think. I like correspondence. I like arguing my point and trying to get both sides of the story. Just remember folks, we're supposed to be here for stories and entertainment, not to see our favorite characters go at it like rabbits, even if that is fun to read. But the story comes first.
Suspension of Disbelief-- 7/9/08
I'm tired of know-it-alls folks. I've had it up to my proverbial ears with people who read the fics put on this site and think they know what the hell is going on. I'm talking about those of you who have lost your suspension of disbelief since you've begun reading fanfiction.
Don't know what suspension of disbelief is? Allow me to guide you through the darkness...
Suspension of disbelief is an occurence where you go into something where you partially know what's going to happen and yet still look at it as if it is a new occurence. Most people who watch movies go in with a suspension of disbelief. So do people who watch pro wrestling. And those who read books by the same author time after time.
Fanfiction readers need to find their suspension of disbelief again...and learn to sit back, shut the fuck up, and read the damn story for the hell of it again.
Just because you think you know what's going to happen doesn't mean it will. Fanfiction follows a very loose sense of guidelines to anything canon. Anything can happen outside the norm in fanfiction. Powerlevels go up and down. People can live or die. Yaoi happens. The point is that everything can be bent to the will of the author.
You folks need to learn that when you open up a new page to read a story you've never read before you need to leave all your preconceptions about canon at the door. Once you start to read, it should always, always be a new journey. Just because you read one of my stories doesn't mean they're all the same. They aren't. And just because you read one Stephen King book, does that mean that you know what the hell is going on in the next one?
Of course not.
It's time to get back that childish wonder we used to have, folks. It's time to rediscover why we visit this website. It's time for this to be fun again.
Remember, the next time you start to read a new story, leave everything you know behind. Let the author tell the story and you'll be a lot happier. Read as if you'd never heard of canon. Read as if it's your first time to ever read a story...
...and relearn how enjoyable it is to just relax and read for fun...
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
Poll: This poll is to help me decide what you guys would like me to write in the future. It will influence me and nothing else. Last time I did this we ended up with The Melt...and we all know how that came out. Incredibly well, actually... Vote Now!
