MAXIMUMCHRISYT
Books-twilight(beyond obsessed),maximum ride(obsessed),septimus heap series,young wizards series,morganville vampires,crystal doors series,to catch a pirate,the song of the lioness series,and pretty much every book and series by tamora peirce.
Movie LoVeS-Ever after,stardust,pirates of the caribbean,and princess bride.
Anime and Manga LoVeS-My fav is The Tsubasa Chronicals (it's obsessive),Mermaid melody pichi pichi pitch,princess tutu,shugo chara,and tokyo mew mew, Rosario + a Vampire, and D N Angel.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
I read New Moon and Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD(screw that...I'm gonna knock him SENSELESS til he's DEAD. Especially after Eclipse)
When I read Maximum Ride I wanted to kill Fang for not kissing Max sooner. I mean, COME ON!
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
You know you live in 2007 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur pro
JOKEs
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!"
Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You Since 1901
Emmett Cullen: Stronger Than You Since 1916
Rosalie Cullen: Better Than You Since 1916
Alice Cullen: Quikier Than You Since 1901
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies Since 1843
Bella Swan: Danger Magnet since 1987
This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny to help him gain world domination! Join the dark side...WE HAVE COOKIES!!
Yay Bunny!! ( \/ )
Yay Bunny!!
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen's Including Bella Disorder ThInGs To PoNdEr:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?
Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?
Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?
Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn't repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7 of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You're diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it's still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35.The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don't have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they're the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don't succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47.The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48.The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
49.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
A good or best friend!
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.
A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.
A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.
A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you wish Jacob Black would just die-- OKAY, IMPRINT-- and leave Bella and Edward to love each other, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.
joke
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What! They gave me a Chihuahua?"
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the
fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those
who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no flipping way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."
One bright morning...
in the middle of the night,
two dead boys came out to fight.
they stood back to back
and faced each other
drew their swords
and shot eachother.
the deaf policeman heard the noise
and came to kill
those two dead boys.
If u dont believe my story
its true ask the blind man he saw it too!
"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" ~ Anonymous
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." ~ Anonymous
"Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present." ~ Anonymous
"My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone." ~ Anonymous
"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous
"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous
"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous
"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up." ~ Anonymous
"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous
"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous
"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max
"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max
'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked."
'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)
"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous
Ally: Is she done.
Trick: She should be all that's left to throw now is the chair
Spot:Uh oh
Ally: She threw the chair
Trick: Uh huh.
~The Tricksters choice
Quotes from the Morganville Vampires series...
Eve: Yeah, Cause the world just stop when creative people think.
Claire: Should we go shop now?
Shane: No we should grab the meat, throw the money on the counter, and break every speed limit back to the house before Micheal calls out the SWAT team.
Clarie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Shane: No, I was thinking we're out of potatoe chips.
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks
"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
How is it possible to have a civil war?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
I read New Moon and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD
I read Eclipse and wanted to smack Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me."Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat."
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...
Music is love in search of words
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
always forgive your enemys... nothing annoys them so much.
never do anything you dont want to explain to the paramedics
if it wasnt for physics and law emfoircement i'd be unstoppable
apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.
borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!
there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.
if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor...
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
If dance were any easier, it would be called football.
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over. (love it so much I put it in twice.)
"You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention." -Brom, Eragon
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
Fang:Sell your soul for a cookie.
Max:Nah, Jeb already tried to get me with that, and I said no. No matter how much I wanted that cookie.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either dateing someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Stupid shiny Volvo owner.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"
"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."
Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?
Which way does a compass point in space?
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, DaisyPinker(I'm always on FanFic! Like 24-7! I mean it! Really! Really really! god dammit i'm twitching again! don't judge! My mommy says I',m special! don't look at me like that! Why! why! why cant you people just leave me alone! Oh, god! THE VOICES! THERE BACK! NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! oh, go I'm hypervenilating, the blackness, i want to give to the blackness! I cant breath! Help! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!-big breathe- okay I'm better! hehe.),
If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire' club, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.
If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.
if your friend(s) think you're crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don't care copy and paste this is your pro
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.
If you generally crash on your couch even when your bed is free, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your pro.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
._.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s?_s_s³ _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ .s_ s³ _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s³_.s_ .³ _ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s³_ ³ _ (sorry girls only)
_s_s³_ ³,
_s_³s_..
_³s._³s ,
_³._³s .s_ ..
_._³_ s³
_³s_³s³_ s³
_³s_s_ s
_s._s³_.s ³_
_s..s ³_
_s.ss _
_s³
_ssssssssssss
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_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§ss§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
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¯v´¯¸.·´¸.·´¨ ¸.·¨
¸.·´ ¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯·~ This is supposed to be a heart w/ strings, it kinda got messed up.
(\ /)C(")(") Cute bunny rabie. He He
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen." , replied the congregation.
This is from Angelz World's blog...I think this is hilarlious...
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses She started her class by saying,"Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?
" A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said,"He's in heaven."Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!"The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds, Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning,my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person."Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
MY OWN PERSONAL QUOTES:
~FLYING IS FREEDOM~
If we are really just dust in the wind, then I want to be stardust because then at least you get to shine.
Shiny things are about, I'm not listening
Just quotes that apparently discribe me (quizes)...
Those who fear the darkness have no idea what the light can do.
I (heart) Edward Anthony Mason Cullen!
The following are fictional couples that will be togather and the couples that are just an outrage...
Bella x Edward (For Eternity)
Bella x Jacob (Friends Only, dogs are man's best friend not boyfriend)
FAX (because it's so obvious) Max +Fang
Fissa (First it just sounds stuipid and Max would probably kill her and Fang if this happened, again. +Fang would have to be really stupid otherwise. Fang and Lissa. Who has two ss in Lissa, it's just not right.
Katanng FOREVER (Because I say so.)
Zutara (pisses me off. Not happening. Because I'm sure Katara would kill him.)
Syoaron x Sakura (the clone buisness is just freaky and I can not comment on that at the moment.)
Claire x Shane (Even though Shane can be annoying at times. It's not his fault)
Eve x Michael (Because we already know.)
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
