So, instead of coming up with excuses for myself, I've adopted a new policy, and here it is: Real life takes first priority. I'm lazy and unmotivated, so don't expect me to update regularly. That's just the way it works. Sorry. If you're super-excited for my fics, don't be, because by the time I actually update them, I'm sure you will have forgotten all about them. But that's all right. I'll still write for myself, and if you happen to stumble onto my fics again and think, "Awww, I remember that one! I liked that one way back when!" then that'll make me happy enough.

Big Announcement: I have another account now! It's not really completely mine, I share it with one of my bestest IRL friends, Bonfiore'sGirl. But it's made for some stories we're going to collaborate on! It's going to be super fun! XD So please, if you get a chance, look up TheTwinFangirls. That's our name, yup.

If you can't find us, TheTwinFangirls should be in my favorite authors. Please spare us a little bit of your time! We'll love you unconditionally if you do!

I got my icon from u n b r e a k a b l e ;, a Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki tribute site. http://unbreakable.sasunaru.org/ Go there! It's awesome! ;_;

Oh, you want to know about me? Well, let's see what I got.

My online name is Kitsune, based on my first role play character. My username also came out of that (it means fox of fire, in case you were wondering). I'm in high school (that's all you're getting out of me) and I wear glasses. Hoosha. ;3

I used to be really into my original characters, but FF.net has gotten me addicted to fanfictions instead. Damn you, FF! Damn you with love! XD So, yeah, I'm now officially a fanartist all around.

Also, I'm a terrible updater. Just warning anyone who likes my stuff... I'm not good at updating. School takes up all of my time... ;_;

So, as for the kinds of stuff I write... I have no idea why, but I'm somehow attracted to angst. So expect a lot of that in my stories. I'm also strangely attracted to one character's pain, and everyone else knowing about it... So if that happens, well... It's probably an accident. XD I'm trying not to overdramatize single characters, buuuut... Sometimes I run away with myself. When stuff isn't angsty, I'm a total cuddle fiend. I love fluff and cuddling, so expect that too. Sometimes combined! Angsty cuddling! XD

I'm also much more of an alternate universe girl than a canon chick. I like to make the setting myself, usually, because I have more creative power like that. I can make relationships and characters status the way I want them. :3 Probably most, if not all, of my stories are going to be AUs. So if you don't like AUs, get out while you still can.

In regards to multi-chapter stories... I'm afraid of having more than one at a time, since I'll probably end up neglecting the story I'm less interested in, then get guilty because I'm not updating it. D: So I tend to try to condense my other ideas into oneshots while I have a multi-chapter story I'm working on... you know what, scratch that. I just like oneshots better overall. I like me some instant gratification. So don't expect too many chapter stories. They're too bothersome and tiring.

Status on projects that have already been posted:

From the First Spark: Sixth chapter has been posted, seventh chapter will be written when I have time and inspiration, both of which I'm lacking at the moment.

Those Words, These Words: Part two is on its way.

Projects in the works:

Title: Love From Blood (also tentative title, may change)
Category: Naruto
Summary: With their country enveloped in war, Kakashi takes the new recruit Naruto and convinces a dangerous criminal, Sasuke, to help them on an assassination job. Then he assigns Naruto as Sasuke's partner and chaos ensues.
Status: It's a oneshot, sorta kinda done...
Main Pairings: SasuNaru (duh!), any others undecided
Author's Notes: ... Now that I look at it, this might have made a better Akatsuki fic. You know, with the whole partner thing and all. But I'm not too into the Akatsuki, so whatever. Sasuke is better.

Category: Naruto
Summary: "Girls love gay guys, right?" Naruto demanded. "So it's easy... I'll just go out with a guy for a while and all the chicks will flock to me!"
Main Pairings: NaruSasu at least :D I luvvles me some NaruSasu.
Author's Notes: So, I tried writing this. And it came out super angsty. I was like, "... WTH happened here?!" I suck at writing humor. Bite me. Long story short, I'm putting it on hold and trying to rewrite it so it's either humor OR angst, not some freaky bastard child of the two.

Category: Naruto
Summary: Sasuke has a simple idea: Find the Kyuubi kid and befriend him. Get him wrapped around his finger so he'll do whatever Sasuke tells him to. Get the power of Kyuubi under his command. As two homeless orphans, all the boys have is each other...
Main Pairings: SasuNaruSasu... durrr. Anything else, I don't know.
Author's Notes: This oneshot is basically takes the Naruto world and sets it in modern times. I don't know if I can write it, but I really want to. It's going to be epic, I'm nervous. I don't know if I can finish it.

Title: Jealousy (tentative title, may change)
Category: Mai Otome
Summary: Nina is jealous of Arika. She must be. There's no other explanation for what she feels when she sees the way the boys look at Arika and the way Arika acts with Mashiro-sama... the way they talk, and sometimes hold hands...
Status: It's a oneshot, just begun
Main Pairings: ArikaNina main. Nina thinks she sees some ArikaMashiro, but (Spoilers!) she's kind of overreacting.
Author's Notes: I'm adding to the Mai Otome fandom. It's decided. Nothing will stop me. And I'm not writing a ShizNat. I refuse to write ShizNat. I'm boycotting it... as a main pairing, at least. It's fine as a side pairing.

Ideas half-formed in my head: (These I may or may not act on. If anyone seriously falls in love with one of these ideas, CONTACT ME and I'll let you know if I'm writing that one or not. If I'm not, I'll say feels free to write your own version.)

Title: House Party (working title)
Category: Naruto
Summary: The parties held in Sasuke's empty house have an overarching goal: To give horny teenagers a private place to party, drink and have sex. Sakura arrived without a date, but, luckily, so did Ino.
Main Pairings: MAIN main pairings as of now are InoSaku and, to a lesser extent, SasuNaru. Any other pairings I'll probably manage to fit in are as of now GaaLee, KibaHina, NejiTen, ShikaTema, SuiKa. The usuals.
Author's Notes: I thought this was going to be a oneshot, but it may turn out to be a vaguely related drabble series.

Category: Naruto
Summary: Exactly one month before Neji's and Tenten's wedding, Team Gai gets lost in the desert. Who finds them? Citizens of the Kingdom of Sand. Now, why is their Kazekage staring at Rock Lee like that?
Main Pairings: GaaLee (or LeeGaa, whatever I feel like at the time) with a side helping of NejiTen
Author's Notes: When I found this picture on Photobucket, I thought, "What the hell is Tenten wearing? Well, whatever, it's pretty hot. She looks like a desert princess." Of course, desert = Gaara, then Gaara= GaaLee, and the whole idea snowballed from there.

Category: Naruto
Summary: All Sasuke has left now is Naruto, but the same also applies to Hinata, who hasn't given up her lifelong crush yet. Sasuke is determined to chase her off, however he has to do it.
Main Pairings: SasuNaru, anti-NaruHina. I'm also considering adding in some KibaHina, but I'm trying to steer clear of that as much as I can, so any anti-NaruHina people who read it can pair Hinata with whoever they want in their minds.
Author's Notes: Goddammit, plotbunnies. Eh. I definitely need to do this one someday. It needs to be done. (Even though it's probably been done before... a million times... I don't care.)

Category: Naruto
Summary: The students learn from their teachers.
Main Pairings: SasuNaru + KakaIru, InoSaku + AnkoShizu, and KibaHina + AsuKure. If I can find any other good teacher relationships and student realtionships that are like the teachers, I'll do those too. Suggestions would be nice.
Author's Notes: Each chapter would have one teacher relationship and their corresponding student relationship. This was my basic train of thought: "Hey, KakaIru is like the adult version of SasuNaru. Lol." Then, "You know, I like making Ino a lesbian pervert. It's really fun. And hey, I also like making Anko a lesbian pervert. Ha. They're kind of similar." Then, "Well, I really like Asuma and Kurenai too. KibaHina would be kind of like AsuKure, right?" Thus, series.

Category: Kingdom Hearts
Summary: Everyone hanging out on the roof of a building when Demyx gets the ingenious idea to start grooving on his guitar. Axel happens to know the tune Demyx plays, so they start their own concert going.
Main Pairings: Well, I have a lot. (Here we go.) RikuSora, AkuRoku, Zemyx, YuffieKairi, MarluLarx, OletteNamine, maybe CloTi, and maybe maybe if I'm feeling lucky, XemSaix
Author's Notes: Definitely a vaguely related drabble series. Also a series of songfics. Created because I listened to these certain songs over and over and imagined the characters dancing and singing to them.

Category: Kannazuki no Miko
Summary: (In this life, they didn't know each other any more. But their souls still cried out for each other.) My version of Chikane and Himeko reincarnated.
Main Pairings: Chikane x Himeko, duuuuuuh. Also, I'll probably include some Reiko/Corona slash and maybe, maybe, possibly Souma/Yukihito slash. But I don't know, since it's supposed to be yuri...
Author's Notes: The thing that worries me most about this idea is that it would be a chapter fic. But, it's Kannazuki no Miko, so I don't care what it is. I WILL contribute to this fandom. Dammit. It's worth contributing to.

Category: Kannazuki no Miko
Summary: Reiko found herself fascinated with the music of one little-known pop idol. At the same time, on the other side of town, Corona obsessively visited the bookstore to find one manga title she couldn't get out of her mind.
Main Pairings: Reiko/Corona
Author's Notes: What the hell? Why doesn't this pairing have millions of fanfics? Hell, why doesn't it have ANY fanfics? I mean, I know Chikane and Himeko are great and all, but... seriously. Why has this pairing occured to no one but me? It's amazing! Think about it. Reiko calling Corona "69" all the time? The implications...

Category: Strawberry Panic!
Summary: Now that Tsubomi and Yaya are officially lovers, Tsubomi is determined to protect what's hers, at all costs.
Main Pairings: Yaya x Tsubomi X3 and probably some Ayame x Hikari on the side
Author's Notes: Come ON, SP fandom! You're KILLING me here with the lack of Yaya x Tsubomi out there! Ugh. I guess I'll just have to do it myself.

Links you should definitely check out:

My awesome sister's DeviantArt. Go there first. Go there right now and worship her.

My DeviantArt, though it's also my homepage. Self-advertisement YEAH!

My FictionPress. I... don't have anything up yet... xD;; BUT I WILL SOON! Yeah... not.

u n b r e a k a b l e ;, a Sasuke and Naruto tribute site. It's gorgeous. If you haven't looked at it, you cannot call yourself a true SasuNaru fan.

welcome home,..? A Sasuke and Naruto fanlisting as well as a sister site to u n b r e a k a b l e ;. It's just as beautiful.

Ansem Retort. A Kingdom Hearts sprite comic that is one of the funniest things I've ever read. It's also one of the most offensive, so if you're easily offended, this is NOT the place for you. You have been warned.

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. If you don't know what this is, then I have no idea what you're looking at right now, but it's certainly not the internet. Anyway, just in case you don't know, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series, is only the most awesome parody to ever grace the world. Made by the brilliant LittleKuriboh.

SasuxNaru.is.Love Scanlations. A SasuNaru scanlation site where I get most of my SasuNaru doujins. It's really nice. And it hosts an awesome SasuNaru fic called "Spiral Falling" that isn't on FF, so far as I know. I've heard it recommended all over the internet, and now I know why. It's a good fic. Go read it! Especially if you like smut! >D

Fanfiction writers you should totally search for: (If you like my stuff, I'm completely dwarfed by these awesome people)

InsertNamesHere! Because their writing is so straightforward it's hilarious and adorable. Support them! They deserve a lot more attention than they get!

Koi Fish! One half of InsertNamesHere (the Jade half). She uses this account to write KH stuff, and all of it is amazing and adorable and uwaaahhh!

Dualism! Because her writing is the writing of a master. Your master, should you read her stuff.

NuvolaLuz! Because her humorous stuff is like ROTFL IRL. RLY. But her serious stuff is so beautiful...

Bonfiore'sGirl! She doesn't have much stuff up yet, but the stuff she does have is really cute! Go make her happy and give her reviews!

kokoro77! Because she has the best AkuRoku chemicals I've ever had the pleasure of reading.

darkalbino! She's my SasuNaru smut GOD. Seriously. I go read her stories whenever I need a smut pick-me-up. If you want to read her stories, be prepared to become anemic and bleed all over your keyboard from your nose.

Master of the Rebels! See darkalbino above. Not only that, she's seriously smart and creates clever plots for her stories. She's my favorite NaruSasuNaru author.

Lunar Chasmodai! Let me just say HOLY. EFFING. CRAP. Her stories are some of the funniest I've ever read, Dualism's included. I laughed myself to tears reading "Road Trip", and when when she's serious, I'm hanging on every word. It's great.

Current obsession: Naruto! Dun dun dunnnnn! D: Yes, that's right, I'm an official Narutard. I should get a button or something.

My OTP: SasuNaruSasu. OMG ILU FOREVER ULTIMATE OTP RABU RABU OMGBBQ!!11! -fantards-

Me likey: Friends, YAOI, YURI, girls, food, sun, listening to the rain, anime, manga, video games, reading, writing, drawing, cats, gay people, shipping debates

Me NO likey: Closed-minded people, shipping wars, stereotypes, breakfast, restaurant bathrooms

Media that I love:

(Anime) Naruto, Kannazuki No Miko & Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora, Strawberry Panic, FullMetal Alchemist, Ouran Host Club, Evangelion, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Mai-HiME & Mai-Otome, Code Geass, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha & A's & StrikerS

(Manga) Loveless, FMA, Rurouni Kenshin, Evangelion, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Rave Master, Air Gear, +Anima, Burst Angel, Kashimashi (;_;)

(Video Games) Kingdom Hearts, Okami, Legend of Zelda, Odin Sphere, Pokemon, .hack, The World Ends With You, Ico/Shadow of the Colossus, Assassin's Creed

Pairings I support: (Favorite pairing for that series/I can't split them up without some kind of mental confusion or pain/It's one of my favorites/It's a good pairing, I like it as much as any other on this list)

(KH/FF) Riku/Sora, AkuRoku, Zemyx, Marluxia x Larxene, Xemnas/Saix,Tidus x Yuna, CloTi, Axel/Riku, Yuffie/Kairi, Xion/Namine, RikuSoraKairi, AxelRoxasXion

(FMA) Ed x Winry, Roy x Riza

(Haruhi Suzumiya) Kyon x Haruhi, Ryoko/Yuki

(Ouran) Tamaki x Haruhi, Hitachiincest

(Naruto) SasuNaru, GaaLee, KibaHina, KakaIru, ShikaTema, InoSaku, NejiTen, SasoDei, PeinKonan, KakuHidan, NaruSasuSaku, JirOroTsu, AsuKure, KisaIta, AnkoShizu (Total crack! XD But totally HOT crack)

(Strawberry Panic) Shizuma x Nagisa, Shizuma x Kaori, Yaya x Tsubomi, Remon x Kizuna, Kaname x Momomi, Amane x Hikari (I have to put this in here, even though they're both annoying as hell. They can just go wiggle off into a corner and screw until they die for all I really care.)

(Teen Titans animated series) RobStar (damn it's nice to be on the canon side sometimes XDD), BBRae

(TWEWY) Neku x Shiki :D

(Kannazuki no Miko/Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora) Chikane/Kaon x Himeko/Himiko, Reiko/Corona, Souma/Yukihito (Jin Oogami from Kyoso looks like their lovechild, lol), Kyoshiro x Kuu, Kyoshiro/Jin

(Air Gear) IkkiKazu, Simca/Mikan (for the lulz)

(Rave Master) Haru x Elie, Musica x Reina (Reinaaaaa -cries-), Let x Julia (Duh, Julia is kickass), Shuda x Cattleya :D Basically, all the canon pairs.

(Mai-HiME/Otome) ArikaNina, ShizNat, TateMai, ChieAoi, HarukaYukino, MidoriYouko, TakumiAkira, TomoeMiya

(Code Geass) SuzaLulu, Lelouch/Shirley, Lelouch/Kallen, Lelouch/CC, CC/Kallen, Millay/Shirley, Suzaku/Euphie, Suzaku/Kallen. Basically, anyone with anyone else is fine with me. XDD But SuzaLulu FTW.

(Nanoha) NanoFate, ChronoAmy, ZafiraArf, SignumShamal, TeanaSubaru, ErioCaro, maybe VitaHayate

Guilty pleasure pairings (I don't know why I like them/I shouldn't like them, but I do anyway/I support a different pairing usually, but I have a soft spot)

(Naruto) NaruSaku, SasuHina, LeeSaku, NejiHina, SasuIno, OroSasu, NejiKiba, KabuShizu, GaaSasu, SuiSasuKa threesome, ItaNaruSasu threesome

(KH/FF) Cloud/Riku, Tifa/Aeris(th)

(Ouran) KyoTama, HaruRenge

(Teen Titans animated series) RaeStar

(Kannazuki no Miko/Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora) Soujiro x Tarlotte (I don't really see them as romantically inclined, but for some reason I don't see them as brotherly and sisterly either. Whatever they are, they're insanely adorable.)

(Mai-HiME/Otome) NaoMikoto (Seriously? Wtf, self?)

(Nanoha) Arf/Fate, Yuuno x Nanoha, maybe Chrono/Yuuno for shits and giggles

(TWEWY) Neku/Joshua?! Eri/Shiki?! Beat/Rhyme?! WHAT?

Pairings I can deal with: (I tolerate it/I only like once in a while/I think it's good, but I mainly support something else)

(KH/FF) SoraKairi, RikuKairi, AkuDem, RoxasXion, RikuXion, AxelXion

(Ouran) Hikaru x Haruhi

(Haruhi Suzumiya) ItsuKyon, Kyon/Mikuru, Kyon/Nagato

(Strawberry Panic) Shizuma x Miyuki

(Kannazuki no Miko/Kyoshiro to Towa no Sora) Kuu/Setsuna (I just don't think it would work unless they were both OOC. But it's still kind of pretty.) Kyoshiro/Setsuna (poor Setsuna. You deserve better.)

(Naruto) ShikaIno, ChouIno, SaiSaku, SaiIno, ItaKyuubi, NejiShika, KibaShika, KibaShino, ItaGaa

(Mai Otome) ArikaMashiro (It's sort of cute, but it's not my favorite.)

Pairings that freak me out (like, no matter what):

(KH) Lexaeus/Zexion (-twitch twitch-), XigDem (-vomits-), MarluVex (My soul cries... and Larxene kills someone) Sephiroth/Just about anyone, Tidus/Selphie, Marluxia/Namine, Larxene/Namine, Roxas/Namine (poor Nami gets no love!)

(FF) Cleris/th (No. Just no.)

(FMA) Ed/Envy, Ed/Al, Ed/Roy (yeah, even that one, sorry guys)

(Strawberry Panic) Tamao x Nagisa, Yaya x Hikari (They're both great pairings, but they make me sad because I support other pairings for them.)

(Teen Titans animated series) RobRae (Yes, I can see the basis, but I just don't like it.)

(Kannazuki no Miko) Souma x Himeko (You little MORON! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU'RE MAKING POOR CHIKANE CRY?! RUN TO HER AND KISS THE LIFE OUT OF HER, FOOL! YOU SUCK! I HATE YOU!! ESPECIALLY YOU, SOUMA!!)

(Nanoha) Chrono/Nanoha (yeah, whatever) Yuuno/Fate (... I don't hate it like I hate some of the pairings on this list, I just don't really get it.)

(Mai-HiME/Otome) MaiMikoto (Sorry, I just don't think they have that kind of relationship. But they're adorable, no doubt about it. I can clearly see where it came from.) NinaErstin (Another obvious one that I don't hate, but it just rubs me the wrong way), TateShiho (How can you fall in love with a girl who's called you "Big brother" your whole lives? Plus Shiho's an ugly bitch.) SergayNina (Dude, Father and daughter. Yes, Nina was adopted, but she called Sergay "Father" the whole time she knew him! Creepy!) SergayArika (she's the same age as Nina. Eww, man.)

(Naruto) NaruHina (see rant below), SasuSaku (see rant below), GaaNeji (see rant below), Tsunade/Shizune (I'm not sure why. Usually I'm pretty lax with my yuri pairings in Naruto, but for some reason I just can't stand to see those two together.)

About my pairings: So. I know some people who would be happy to hear that I'm a lot more relaxed about my pairings than I used to be. C: I used to support only one pairing per person, and that was all. I'd get so angry if that person was put into a different pairing. But now, I support multiple pairings for one person. Such as, SasuNaru and NaruSaku. I listed NaruSaku under my "guilty pleasure" pairings, because I still largely say SasuNaru FTW. But, I also enjoy NaruSaku sometimes. As you'll see soon. Sometime in the future I'll probably write a few fics dedicated to the pairings I ship on the side. :> Like NaruSaku, NejiHina, LeeSaku, TemaTen... etc.

Also, I used to fight tooth and nail about pairings like SasuNaru. Ugh, I was so rigid that I'd get pissed if I even sensed a hint of any rival pairing. But now I'm not bothered if they're paired with other people. I just prefer to see them together. There are certain pairings that rub me the wrong way... SasuSaku, for example. But I won't get all pissy of someone else happens to like it. Or, if I see a well-written fic or pretty picture that features a pairing I don't like, for example again, SasuSaku, I won't get angry and stalk away. There ar plenty of gorgeous SasuSaku fanarts I've seen that I've admired. The pairing only bugged me slightly, but it wasn't bad enough for me to not respect the art. So basically, rival ships are sort of whatever to me.

There are some notable exceptions, of course. Like, my loathing of NaruHina grew exponentially after Chapter 437 came out, because instantly all rabid NaruHinatards flooded the poor Internet with screams of "CANON!!1!1!!" That claim, by the way, so far, still has no credible backing that any fan with half a brain would take seriously. So, really, it's the tards' fault that I hate NaruHina so much. Before they did that, NaruHina was so small and insignificant that I could ignore it completely. I hate rabid fantards more than actual pairings, but if the fantards are rabid enough, then I grow to hate the pairing too, because now the pairing will be forever associated with bad feelings.

In fact, fandoms can do the same thing. Like, the Kingdom Hearts fandom? I can't even look into that anymore. It's too ridiculous. I once saw someone describe a similarly insane fandom (the ShizNat fandom) as "like a game of Telephone between the fans. With every new fan that joins, the characters become even more warped." And that's exactly what it is. Too many people are becoming fans by reading these warped fanfictions instead of actually playing the games (or watching the anime or whatever the media may be), so all their experience is secondhand, and they actually believe that the characters are really these ugly, wrong charicatures portrayed in fanfictions. That drives serious fans like myself away. I don't go into the Kingdom Hearts fandom much anymore, because I simply can't take the mutilating that the poor characters go through there.

Of course, I must take into account that Kingdom Hearts isn't a paragon of character development, either. Basically the only people who get attention are the main characters. I realized this as I was playing KH 358/2 days, because the GAME ITSELF actually began categorizing the Organization members who weren't Roxas, Axel, Xion, and to a much lesser extent, Saix, by one or two characteristics, and didn't give them any development or characterization outside those characteristics. For example, Demyx was lazy and just wanted to play his sitar all the time. Xigbar laughed and said "as if" all the time. Luxord didn't make a sentence that didn't have gambling lingo in it. And the Castle Oblivion members weren't in the game long enough to even give them personalities. It's pathetic. In that light, I understand how people could warp these characters to fit their own images, but it doesn't have to be that way. I've seen plenty of people who have taken these characteristics and expanded them, built on top of them, filled them out to make real characters without disfiguring the original (flat) characters. For example, making Demyx a hyperactive, stupid, silly nutcase just isn't true to his character. On the contrary, Demyx is actually a quite laid-back and easygoing guy who just likes to dodge out of work and do his own thing. So, it's not impossible to get a measure of their characters if you pay attention and actually play the stupid games.

-Overusing Japanese: I know this is ranted on a lot, so I'll just add my own little thing: If you at any time use the words "seme", "uke" or "yaoi" seriously in your fanfiction, then I lose all respect for you. Or, at the bery least, a sizable chunk of respect. Sometimes really, really good writers can do that, and my respect for them can still recover even after the damage it takes. You have to be a really good writer though.

-School fic, but read this: I'm a student myself. I know how easy it is to write school fics, because school is basically a student's whole life until that student graduates. It's easy to write about something you know very well. However, if your fic is only going to school and meeting friends and falling for friends and going to school, that's boring. If your setting is a school, that's fine. If your story is a school, that's not fine.

-"Finding Our Feelings" cliche: It's hard to find a name for this cliche, but I'm sure we're all familiar with this kind of description: "So-and-so realizes his/her feelings for so-and-so! But he/she is afraid to tell him/her! Will they get together?"or something along those lines. Basically, a normal couple blundering through the beginning of a relationship. This is what I think: Been there, done that. We've all been through it, and what's more, we've all seen it a million other times before. Please, be original. Your characters falling in love is great an all, but at least include a story to go along with that. If so-and-so is hesitant about whatshername because she's so pretty, I don't care. If so-and-so is hesitant about whatshername because she's so pretty and he's an assassin paid to kill her father, then I care. (Well, that's Grosse Point Blank, but I think you get it.)

-"For Some Reason": While I'm on that topic, I hate this phrase: "For some reason", or any of it's variants. Basically, it goes like this: "He/she felt oddly attracted to him/her for some reason he/she couldn't quite place yet." And trust me, this scenario happens more than you'd think in fanfics, and it's a terribly lazy writing technique. You know what using that technique tells me about you? You're too lazy to develop your characters more. You're forcing feelings into them that they normally wouldn't feel. Yes, it's natural to be confused about feelings sometimes in real life, and to not have a name for what you're feeling sometimes. But when your characters suddenly start feeling this strange, odd, baffling, never-before-felt tightening in his/her chest right a minute after meeting the love interest, that's unrealistic. Love doesn't just appear out of nowhere in a flash like that. It takes time to build up, and if you just insert love into a character like that, I know that you as an author are too lazy to develop your characters properly.

-Changing canon, or writing out characters: This is kind of a big one for me. If you're going to write off a canon character in order to pair up the people you really want to pair up, do it right. Obviously, don't do something as stupid as killing a character off. I read a LOT of fanfictions, and I've never seen this tactic used sensibly. Now, I haven't read ALL fanfictions, so if you bring me an example of a story that uses this tactic well and say, "Look, it's possible!" I'll smile and nod. Yes, it's possible. But it isn't likely. Canon characters dying off inexplicably and leaving convenient room for the remaining characters to find their OMG TRULUBZ for each other is such a lazy, lazy technique, and what you're going for is so obvious it's almost painful, and makes me want to stop reading your fic. Don't use it.

Now, there's another side of this idea. If you want to simply write a character out of the picture, without killing them off, you have to do that very, very carefully. I'll make up an example here. Hero has a Girlfriend and a Bestfriend. Hero really loves Girlfriend, Girlfriend really loves Hero. But, you really like the pairing of Bestfriend and Hero, because you think it would be a really good pairing. So you write a fanfic in which Girlfriend does one or more of these things: a) realizes Hero was nothing more than a brother to her, despite all her numerous declarations of romantic affection for Hero over the course of canon, b) realizes that she really doesn't like Hero that way because she's just too cool for Hero, c) cheats on Hero, despite never having shown any signs of being anything but faithful to her loved ones. There are many more things that Girlfriend could do, and countless different ways this character setup could be rearranged, but I hope you get the picture. Basically, what happens is the fanfic writer changes the character's obvious canon feelings in order to get her (or him) out of the way. That's terribly bad form for a writer. So, you don't like some aspects of canon. Big deal. There are subtle ways of manipulating a character or situation in order to make what you want happen. Usually I believe that the specific techniques that you can use to make your ideal pairing changes depending on the characters you're working with, but in general, sometimes feelings die and feelings grow and certain situations can facilitate that process. As people grow older, they mature and change their outlooks. I'm not saying you should completely rewrite characters into entirely different people, but you can influence them to some degree. Don't just pretend that some parts of canon never happened and some parts did. You can truly be a great writer if you can learn to work with what you have and shape it into what you really want without destroying what you began with.

-Justifying yourself: This isn't a super big one, but sometimes little phrases will jump out at me. Here's an example using NaruSasu: Sometimes people have to explain why they write Sasuke extra submissive. My thinking is this: If you have to justify or explain some dynamic of the story, then you aren't writing it properly. If you feel like you have to say, "One might wonder why Sasuke is submissive to Naruto, and this is why," then you obviously aren't writing Sasuke correctly. The whole point is that he isn't submissive to Naruto, and Naruto isn't submissive to him. If you use a phrase like "One might wonder," or "You might think," or even "Some people think," I feel like you are speaking directly to the reader. Some people might like that, of course, but I really don't. Phrases like that take me out of your story's world. It's an abrupt and uncomfortable wake-up call that is gone as soon as it arrives and leaves me feeling oddly unsettled. I even have a story where once that phrase happened to me, and I just blinked and remembered that I wanted to check my email. I never finished the fic, either. It might have been good, or bad, but I won't know anymore.

Pairing Rants (Because pairings are SRS BSNS)

SasuSaku: Yes, I hate this pairing. Why? For the simple reason that I'm a SasuNaru fan. To the extent that SasuSaku is just wrong to me. However, I'm not one of the SasuNaru fangirls who goes around screaming "SASUSAKU IS SOOO NONCANON OMG WTF SASGAY HATES SUCKURA AND LURVES NARU-CHAN!!1!!11!" Because honestly, SasuNaru is BoyxBoy. I think that's less canon than BoyxGirl. I know it will never happen. I'm not in denial. However, I don't believe that SasuSaku will happen either. Because you know, SasuSaku is NONCANON just like SasuNaru! Seriously, SasukexANYONE right now is NONCANON because love is a foreign feeling to Sasuke at the moment. He doesn't have time for love. HELLOOO? Sasuke isn't in Konoha anymore! Part 1 is OVER! There is no evidence to support Sakura's romantic love for Sasuke preservering in Part 2! (That doesn't necessarily mean it's gone, sure, but I personally believe it is.) Sasuke basically destroyed any evidence of SasuSaku when he left Konoha, because he cut their bonds!

I actually like the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura. I hate SasuSaku, but Sakura is NOT NOTHING to Sasuke. (The following is in reference to PART 1 ONLY. I know that's hypocritical after what I just said, but deal. I need to say this because I'm sick of rabid SasuNaru fangirls yelling about how Sasuke hates Sakura.) She's his teammate, she's his friend, he's protected her before and would again. She's calming to him, in contrast with Naruto's ability to rile him up. However, I don't think he's in love with her, nor ever will be. We already know that Naruto means much more to Sasuke than Sakura does. (Valley of the End, anyone?) Also, Naruto's ability to rile Sasuke is much more significant than Sakura's ability to calm him. Sakura never manages to draw human feelings out of Sasuke. The most she ever got from his was a "Thank you" for some reason as he was leaving for Sound. Otherwise, all she got was stoic stares, the occasional "Be quiet" and sometimes muderous protection when his cursed seal activated. (I also believe that scene was more about Sasuke finding power with his cursed seal than it was about him protecting Sakura. Though, that was definitely a better reason to hurt those Sound nin, he probably would have hurt them even if Sakura wasn't around to be protected.) Sakura never manages to draw Sasuke out of his shell. At the very worst, she actually helps him back into his shell because she calms him down, therefore helps him gain control over his emotions again. She can't save him, and she knows it. Naruto, on the other hand, can. Naruto can draw Sasuke out of his shell. He does it by goading reactions out of him and fighting with him, but he does it nonetheless. Sakura realizes this, so when she fails to save Sasuke, she begs Naruto to do it, because she knows that he's the only one who can. So, if Sasuke's gonna be in love with anyone, it's gonna be Naruto. But he's not in love with anyone, not Sakura, not Naruto.

And most SasuSaku fans use the "One of Sasuke's goals is to not only kill his brother, but to revive his clan! He needs a girl for that, and who better than Sakura, his friend and teammate?" excuse to justify SasuSaku, but here's my view on that argument: Sasuke never said anything about loving the girl he's gonna have kids with. Let's face it: he's a kid who lost the family he loved in a highly traumatic way. His "reviving the clan" thing is just an attempt to replace the family he lost. But he's still so immature that I somehow don't see "reviving clan" and "reproduction with a female" registering as the same thing in his mind. He just wants his lost family back. (But personally, I think he needs to realize that his family is dead and will never be coming back, no matter how many babies he has. It'll be a family, sure, but it won't be the family he knew, loved, lost and now wants back. So I really hope he gets some sense smacked into him and doesn't go through with his "revive the clan" plan.)

In fact, better argument: Maybe this "reviving the clan" thing is sort of metaphorical, i.e, reviving the uchiha clan's prestige? I'm nto sure, but it's an idea. Think about it. No babies would be needed for that.

Also. I wasn't aware that "Thank you" meant "I love you forever and will someday return so you can bear my beautiful children." Just because Sasuke said "Thank you" to Sakura doesn't mean he loves her in any romantic way. It shows that Sakura had indeed risen in his esteem since the first day they actually talked and Sasuke called the poor girl "annoying" (which she totally was at the time). I actually do support the theory that Sasuke was thanking her for loving him so much, and always caring about him like no one had since his family was killed... However, that doesn't mean he returns her romantic love. He loved her as a friend, sure. He probably respected her as a shinobi. But he didn't love her like that, and doesn't now. I thank my friends for loving me and being kind to me all the time. That doesn't mean I want hawt secks with them though.

I've also heard the faint argument that "First love will never be forgotten! Sakura would have to be heartless to forget about her first love!" or something like that. And the obvious answer to that would be that Sasuke forgot about Sakura first. How often does first love ever actually come true? Not often, from my point of view. Sakura would be a moron to hang on to her first love that dropped her on her ass like a bad habit. But, this thought also occured to me. If first love is best, then what about NaruSaku? Isn't Sakura Naruto's first love? Or, is a girl's first love the only first love that counts?

In conclusion, I know that SasuNaru is noncanon. But SasuSaku is also noncanon and I hate it's guts.

SasuNaru vs. NaruSasu: Okay, you losers. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL HERE?! I DON'T GET IT! Why is it so important that Sasuke always tops Naruto? Naruto is not a GIRL, people. Let me repeat that. NARUTO IS NOT A GIRL. HE IS A MAN. So why can't he top Sasuke sometimes? There is NO SHAME in being the bottom. BOTTOMING DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE YOU A GIRL!! If Sasuke is going to have sex with Naruto at all, top and bottom doesn't matter. Pride has NOTHING TO DO WITH sexual positions.

Naruto is a MAN, with RAGING HORMONES and PRIDE just like Sasuke! If you're going to make him bottom all the time, you might as well finish the job and make him a girl, boobs and all. Or, you know, you can simply abandon BL and go read hetero stuff because that's obviously what you're trying to turn this BL into. Make Naruto a man, people. He is NOT a girl with a penis. Remember that he is MANLY. This is why you're reading BL and not het. I'm so sick of the SasuNaru fandom battling from the inside about who needs to top who. I'm so sick of SasuNaru fangirls who flat-out refuse to let Sasuke bottom once in a while.

Though strict NaruSasu is no better than strict SasuNaru. Yes, I agree that it's ridiculous that most of the fandom makes Naruto a wimpy, whiney little weepy-uke type, because he isn't, but don't turn around and do the same thing to Sasuke! Seriously, you guys, what the hell? Sasuke is just as manly as Naruto. Hell, they're FIGHTING all the time. Neither one would just roll over like a dog when the other goes dominatrix! That's just stupid, and extremely OOC to boot! I believe that you honestly can't make a realistic, in-character Sasuke/Naruto dynamic while making one top the other ALL the time. It just doesn't work like that in real life.

Also, a pet peeve of mine. The words "teme" and "dobe". Yes, they're cute. I like them too. I like it when Sasuke and Naruto are insulting each other with their cute little pet insults. But remember that they are INSULTS. They WOULD NOT call each other those INSULTING NAMES ALL THE TIME. Because they're, you know, insulting. It is a way of softening up their arguments, sure, but I highly doubt that they are so attached to those nicknames that they'd be using them during sex. I know I for one would be offended if my significant other called me a bitch while we were having sex. That's just not cool. So lighten up on the nicknames, please. Their names are SASUKE and NARUTO, not teme and dobe.

Oh, and apparently "teme" doesn't even translate to "bastard." It actually translates to a very rude from of "you."

Something else that's bugging me a little: When writing lemons, maybe you should know what you're talking about first. (mature content ahead) In so many SasuNaru lemon scenes I see, Naruto is a little moaning squirming girly boy who feels instantly amazing when Sasuke shoves his fingers up his ass. To me, that makes it pretty obvious that a female is writing the lemon, because that's exactly how a girl would act during sex. Look, a guy's ass isn't just a replacement vagina. It probably doesn't feel as good as a vagina would when something gets stuck into it. It isn't built the same way as a vagina, so don't make it act like one. Have you ever tried sticking your finger into your asshole? It's not as pretty as those kinds of lemon scenes make it seem. So, in conclusion, don't make Naruto a girl, seriously. He's far, far from one.

NaruHina: Okay, peeps. In (most) canon pairings, there's this itty bitty thing that tends to happen somewhere along the road to the pairing's happily ever after. It's called character development. NaruHina has none of it. All they have is Hinata obsessing over Naruto and growing confidence because of him. All that leads me to believe is that she admires him and wants to be strong like him. That's all Hinata's character development. None of that directly involved Naruto. The reverse also applies to Naruto. He admired her jutsus, but that doesn't mean he loves her as a person. He admires everyone else's jutsus too.

And the fillers? Please. Keep dreaming. Fillers are NOT canon. Therefore, you can't use them as proof of NaruHina. Or any other pairing for that matter.

Notice that in all of Hinata's development, who was there right alongside Naruto? Neji was. He was the bad guy in the beginning, sure, but then he DEVELOPED OUT of that role. That's the character development in play there, you know, that thing that Naruto and Hinata don't have together. Neji has WAY more development with Hinata than Naruto does. They're awfully close now, aren't they? Hinata is nowhere near as close to Naruto as she is to Neji, or hell, even Shino and Kiba. Naruto barely freaking knows she exists. He's too preoccupied with saving Sasuke to get to know her. And after that? He'll probably become Hokage. Still no chance to get to know her. Boo hoo.

Okay, I want to talk about that time in the Chuunin exams after Neji and Hinata's fight when Naruto swore on Hinata's blood that he'd defeat Neji for Hinata. Sounds so romantic, doesn't it? Naruto must have noticed Hinata when she fought her hardest and he must want to be her knight in shining armor, right? They'll have a steamy lovedy dovey future together now, right? WRONG. THINK AGAIN. Naruto swore on Hinata's blood to avenge her, right? Yeah, he did. So he noticed her. However, that ties in with a trend that I've seen in Naruto's personality: Helping the weak. Hinata, though she fought valiantly, still lost. Kiba's prediction came true, and she lost. So the odds were against her from the beginning, and she couldn't overcome them simply because she wanted to strongly enough. The real world doesn't work out like that. She challenged someone stronger than her, and naturally lost. So Naruto of course wants to jump in and do his little "defending the weak" deal. Neji was angry at Hinata, and he went oveboard. Neji knew that Hinata wasn't as strong as him, but he still went and almost killed her. It probably pissed Naruto off to watch someone as annoyingly superior as Neji beating ruthlessly on someone who had basically already lost, picking on someone who was obviously weaker than him. That goes against Naruto's morals, so he has to jump in and defeat this oppressor. Not to mention that Neji stood for everything that Naruto hated: Fate, and the belief that if you aren't born strong, you can never be strong. Once a loser, alwasy a loser. That goes directly against Naruto's ideals, so of course he needed to beat that idea out of Neji. Everything that Naruto does I see can be tied back into his ideals that he wants to defend, avenging Hinata included. Naruto was considered by Neji to be one of those "faliures", like Lee, like Hinata, so in part, when he defended Hinata, he was also defending his own image. In short, Naruto was fighting for Hinata, yes. But that wasn't his only reason, and maybe it wasn't even his main reason. I get the feeling that if Neji had been paired against someone else, like Lee or someone "weaker", someone who isn't a "natural genius" like him, Naruto would have done the same "swear to defeat Neji" thing. Because Neji was a bastard who needed to be taken down a few pegs.

Okay, It's pretty obvious that Hinata has a crush on Naruto. Big deal. Ino had a crush on Sasuke too, and I don't see that coming true any time soon. You want to know why? Because they have no CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT relative to each other. Hinata has so little screen time now that I highly doubt NaruHina will ever be truly canon. Basically all Hinata's character growth occured during the Chuunin exams. (The same goes for most of the other minor characters too, by the way.) I just can't believe that Hinata is important enough to be paired with Naruto, the manga's damn namesake. The whole entire manga is about Team Seven. I can't see any other minor characters like Hinata piercing through that bubble any time soon.

Also, one thing I see people taking for granted here: Naruto's feelings. Yes, Hinata likes Naruto. But what about Naruto? Just because Hinata likes Naruto and finally told him, Naruto instantly must return her feelings, that's the way it has to be for a happy ending and it will happen, no matter what? No. Sorry. Doesn't work like that. Hinata is a lovely girl, and I'm sure Naruto could like her if he tried, but seriously. Naruto has bigger problems to worry about, like saving Sasuke and becoming Hokage. Frankly, his entire LIFE has been thus far consumed by these two things. He can't focus on anything else at the moment. Honestly, I must go back to that character development thing. It's my belief that it's FAR too late into the series with FAR too little character development for NaruHina to ever become canon. Compare Naruto's and Hinata's (lack of) relationship with Sasuke's and Naruto's gorgeously developed relationship. Can you see the difference? If Kishimoto, the man who can come up with an absolutely deep, tragic, beautiful, multi-layered, heart-wrenching relationship like Sasuke's and Naruto's, ends up pairing the main character with a little side character like Hinata, then I will be genuinely shocked and will lose all faith in that man's storywriting abilities.

... What really gets me is that people think "Hinata was always there for Naruto, and she's the only one who understands his pain the most!" Uh, NO. Maybe Hinata thought she was there for Naruto the whole time, but the question is, did Naruto know that? The answer as of now is no. To "be there" for someone, you have to actually let the person in question know you exist. Seriously. That's sort of important. Hinata was never "there for" Naruto because Naruto was never aware that he could turn to her for help. He never got any help from her in his troubled childhood, so it's as if she wasn't there in the first place and her effort doesn't matter. And, wait, "she is the only one who understands his pain"? Uh, yeah. NO. That's just denial right there. How about Gaara, or, more importantly, SASUKE?! He still EXISTS, you know! And, the biggest difference between Sasuke and Hinata: Naruto actually noticed Sasuke. Oh, wait, it doesn't end there. They actually formed a bond from their pain. Unlike a certain Hyuuga girl I'm thinking of. Reread the Valley of the End. Naruto says it all himself. Sasuke became his "idol." Hinata, meanwhile? Still nothing. Oh look, I have a perfect quote to sum up everything I've been saying here: Chapter 303, Naruto talking to Sai: "Sasuke is the person that, more than anyone else, accepted me and my existence." Look at that. Naruto said it himself: Sasuke accepted him, not Hinata.

SasuSaku is all right, I guess, but NaruHina fans are insufferable because they keep banging on and on about how NaruHina is canon and is going to happen... somehow. Even though every single reason for this canon is pulled straight out of their asses. So please, I don't mind if you like NaruHina. But keep an open mind, for fuck's sake, and don't shove your pairing onto other people. I'm so sick of seeing "NARUHINA 4EVR" all over the goddamn internet.

YES, I READ CHAPTER 437. YES, I STILL THINK NARUHINA IS NONCANON.

GaaNeji: ... (sighs) Apparently this pairing has a fanbase. I can see why, honestly, I can. Two attractive men who happen to be left over. But it still makes me sad, because I just can't see them working together. They're both too... emo. For the same reason that GaaSasu would never work. Hell, they'd probably kill themselves for the first date. Romantic? Yeah, right.

The reason I truly dislike GaaNeji the most is because I like GaaLee. Something that makes me really sad is that some people dislike Rock Lee because he's "weird-looking", and I get the feeling that's why some people would support GaaNeji over GaaLee. Because, frankly, Neji is a lot more attractive than Lee. But Lee is such a better person than Neji, and that's why I like him so much. He's absolutely amazing, when you probe past the eccentricities on the outside. He was born without the natural ability to manipulate chakra... so, in Narutoverse terms, that's like being born blind. Despite that handicap, he still became a fine ninja, one of the strongest ninja, even. (It takes some serious balls to accomplish such an impossible feat like that.) Not only that, but his heart is more pure and more beautiful than even a heart made of gold. Hell, he even forgave Gaara for utterly crushing his arm and leg, nearly killing him, nearly taking away his dream, his reason for living. How many of you could do that? Not many, I can guarantee that. He's so dedicated to his noble dreams, and so determined to make them come true, so seriously powerful and so damn cute and loveable that I just have to love him. I have to sing his praises as much as I can. I have to support him over annoying, angry, wannabe-emo Neji. But people just can't see past his eccentricities and weird looks to see the beautiful person he is on the inside, and that truly makes me sad. Lee is a million times stronger than Neji in spirit.

Now, how does Gaara tie in to this? I believe that Gaara needs a light, happy personality to balance out his natural darkness. And Gaara is just as eccentric as Lee. Frankly, I don't understand why more people don't dislike him the same way they dislike Lee. Gaara is even more weird-looking than Lee, and he's a crazy psychopathic murderer to boot. God, I hate that kid. AAANYway, Gaara needs some light to balance out his crazy darkness. And Lee is the only light that's crazy enough to match Gaara's crazy darkness. Neji just can't do that for Gaara. They'll be depressed all their lives. Neji is just barely beginning to learn how to be satisfied with his own life, so how can he bring comfort to a crazy kid like Gaara? He really can't. Plus, Gaara and Lee actually interacted in the manga. They got screentime together. WOW!

In short... Rock Lee pwns Neji. I hate Gaara... but I also hate Neji. I hate Gaara more than Neji... but Gaara's okay if he's paired with Lee. Paired with Neji is a big no-no, though.

... Wow. I wrote a lot of crap here, didn't I.