NOTICE, 11-28-09: This account has been put on an indefinite hiatus due to issues in my life, namely an attempt to learn and vastly improve my writing through twin Original Character Tournaments and an attempt to write a complete novel consuming most of my writing time, and other terrible excuses such as homework and college-thingies. I apologize profusely to those who've been waiting patiently for continued fanfic chapters, and assure you all that I'm not dead yet. I also assure you that fanfictioning will return after the completion of said OCTs, and that if you wish to watch continued writing activity in the 'realistic' field or wish to call me out on my being a jerk and leaving suddenly and without reason for an ungodly long period of time, please take the time off to visit shadow-warrior-nami.deviantart.com.

I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really sorry for the inconvenience. It was seriously dickish for me to not leave a notice about the hiatus until just now because I was so caught up in being accepted as a 'real' author and writing 'real' stuff that I forgot completely about the 'juvenile' field of fanfiction writing and all the very real people within it. Thank you all for the comments and pleas for me to come back. I can't promise you anything right away, but rest assured I'm picking up some sweet advice, and when I do come back, chapters will be ten times more AWESOME.

...Hopefully.

"Revenge is a bitter-sweet sort of plant. You cannot sniff the flower without first pricking yourself on the thorns." ~Me!
"I may not support what you have to say... But I'll fight to the death for your right to say it." ~I Forgot. xD

And so, gentlemen, by aiming this laser at New York, we can hold the world hostage and further our plans for... Hey, wait, someone's here! Ah, -coughhack- yes, welcome to my FanFiction account. This is a friendly place where friendly me writes friendly fanfictions. Everything is very, very friendly. You will never find

Sora killing, sadistic characters, blood, violence, curse words, mass destrution, chaos, Morphine abuse, death, destrution, hallucinations, Sora bashing, explosions, giant snakes, carnage, throwin' on the beat down, heavy metal, Guitar Hero references, Raz pounding (even though I love him), evil, questionable morals, child abuse, mentions of rape, pedophilia, favorite character abuse, innuendo, hyperactive insanity, serious insanity, emo people, self-mutilation, suicide, homicide, pesticide, genocide, psychopathic killers, bread...

here. -cough- Nope, never. Never ever for never ever forever. So if you don't want to see

VIOLENCE AND CHAOS AND MADNESS

then you're in luck. -cough- I only have... uh... french toast. And you should be grateful you can even HAVE the toast! No, wait, you can't. It's my toast.

Anyway, here's a little info about myself. If you have some time, read it! Because I'm sure you'd love nothing more.

NAME? Nami Arigawa, AKA Psycho Director, AKA Ari. Either one is fine.

SEX? Not yet. I'm practicing abstinence.

AGE? Sixteen, but with the mental capacity of a precocious and hyperactive twelve-year-old.

LIKE? I like cereal.

HAIR COLOR? I'm a redhead. LOVE ME.

EYE COLOR? Blue-green (it varies), with a pleasant gold band around the pupil.

BIRTHDAY? It's in December, before Christmas. Which is probably why I love winter... so many presents. 8D

WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Wisconsin, but don't bother pulling more info out of that. I'm an uninteresting and lazy lump in real life, so do yourself a favor by not trying to find me and keep believing I'm just awesome, mm'kay?

WHAT DO I LOVE? What I love changes depending on my mood. I'm kind of bipolar that way. Anyway, as a general rule, I like...

Psychonauts, Kingdom Hearts, Kittens (and cats), ferrets, hamsters, gerbils, psychic powers, pretty dresses and skirts, scenic country (when I don't have to work on it) and meadows, 80's music, rainbows, ty-dye, dancing, acting, writing, reading, singing, babies and young children (maternally, I swear), kareoke, playing piano, candy, roleplaying, fluff, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, shopping for anything but clothes, shoes, and embarrassing stuff (like tampons), helping people, sandals, science, knowledge, obsessively gramatically correcting things, using large words, making things look cute, Razputin, Sasha, Milla, Lili, Ford, Boyd, the G-men, Fred, Crispin, Edgar, Gloria, Becky, Jasper.. pretty much everyone... the Eds (especially Ed!), GIR, hanging out with friends, bicycles, swimming, parody YouTube videos, pink, T.A.T.U., those two sad Stone Sour songs ("Though Glass" and "Zzyzx Rd."), "Learning the Hard Way" by Gin Blossoms, "Sureshot" by Yellowcard, Pepsi, long-winded, funny, and complimentary reviews, reviews PERIOD, the violin, Kirby, Pokémon, hugging, emotes, faking accents, good feelings...

...Four-wheeling, snakes, spiders, the colors black, blue, and purple, Bioshock, Silent Hill, Halo, Halloween, Monster Madness, blood and gore, violence, slaughterhouse films, video games, worn jeans, fighting, boxing, torture fics, yaoi slash, madness, possession, vampires, ghosts, zombies, paranormal phenomina, paranormal investigating, Psyblasting tacky lamps, setting stuff on fire (especially those white, fluffy dandelions and thistles), violence again, character death, homicidal maniacs, Stockholm Syndrome, Nightmares (from Psychonauts), layin' on the beat down, making people think a character is dead, only to reveal later that they survived, Happy Tree Friends, rebelling against authority, MCR, Puddle of Mudd, Nickleback, making people question their morals to the point of insanity, Iron Man (I liked him shortly before he was COOL!), organs, playing guitar, playing the drums, Guitar Hero, hard rock, some rap, werewolves, massacres, pain and suffering (for other people, not me), being a tomboy, creating controversy.

See? Bipolar.

WHAT DO I HATE? Not much, surprisingly. Though I may abuse, hurt, molest, make fun of, and possibly eventually kill a character, that's usually the same one I care the most about when it comes down to the serious, emotional bone. Believe me, I was in near-tears by the final few paragraphs of To Break an Agent. I mostly just pick on the guys out of a mix of tomboyish, childish "nu-I-dun-like-you" pickery and a hormone-induced fetish (Hey, everyone has something).

But for actual hate-hatery, I have to say...

Being hated/strongly disliked for my odd quirks, having to sheepishly admit I was wrong in an intense arguement, people who think guys like me (who shamelessly express, support, and joke about pedophilia in fiction) are just as horrible as real-life pedophiles (there is a DIFFERENCE), real-life pedos in general, automatic robotic telephone solicitation (at least you can poke fun at a real solicitor), when I work hard on a fic and no one/few people comment on it, losing interest in a once-beloved project, religious extremists, people who stalk fics that they know they won't like, even when given fair wanring about the content, then flame because they didn't like it, losing a fight because the fightee is too immature to do anything more than, say, repeat everything you just said in a whiny voice, F.A.C.T., professional documents which are gramatically incorrect, having enemies, lawsuits, American law in general, nettles, sunburns.

FANDOM?

Kingdom Hearts

Psychonauts

Ed, Edd, and Eddy

Invader ZIM

Hoshii No Kaabii (I REFUSE to call it 'Kirby: Right Back at Ya'!)

Pokémon (I mean, back when it was good, and I could say/rap/sing the names of every Pokémon without hyperventalating.)

StarFox

Metal Gear Solid

Full Metal Alchemist

Crash Bandicoot. Ah, good times...

FAVORITE PAIRING(S)? Oh, wow. So much crack, so little time.

LarxenexXigbar (Why has virtually no one taken up this? They have so much in common!)

SoraxMarluxia (Okay, last one, I promise. It's not my fault Sora's everyone's... happy word. But this one actually has some ground to it. Who in here has played Chain of Memories for the Game Boy Advance? Put your hand down, you so have not. But in any case, I have THREE points to make. Read them and see if you don't agree.

1) Marluxia is gay. He has long, flowing pink hair. He fights with a bright pink scythe. He shoots flower petals at you for God's sake! If he's straight, I'm the Queen of Scotland. Plus, he and Larxene are gal pals. Evil gal pals, but gal pals nonetheless.

2) We know virtually nothing of his... erm... 'age preferences'. It's true; all we know for sure is that he's a flower. Hah, see how I used a pun there? 'Cause he fights using flowers, and 'flower' is like another term for 'gay'? I kill myself sometimes... So, what? Who does he like-like-like age-wise? Men his own age? Slightly younger or older men? Teenagers? Or prepubesant little boys? DO I DARE GUESS!? He died before I could find out :(.

3) The diolouge, with all of its double-entaundres. I doubt I spelled that right, but I don't care. It's the same as 'double-meanings', but it sounds smarter. Still, just listen to him ramble! He says things like... oh, my, I can hardly bear to write it down... "Sora will yet be my slave", "How I long to have it (Sora/the Keyblade) under my control", "soon he will be at my mercy"... Now, maybe I'm just grasping at straws here, but doesn't that sound eerily like something a pedophile would say? Now, if he just wants the Keyblade to use its power to take over the Order--sounds cooler than the Organization--that's cool with me. Clichéd evil plots are all too Disney, and not exactly attention-grabbing. But then, why doesn't he just say he needs the Keyblade for whatever reason, say so to his followers once or twice, then continue with the plot? But nooooooo, he's saying he needs Sora with the firey passion of a thousand suns and all that poetic crap. Once in a blue moon, he'll say it's the Keyblade he's after. Now, let's do some simple math. Marluxia is flamboyantly gay + 1/4 chance of being a pedophile + double-meanings in his speech + evilness and unfeelingness + Sora being cute and naïve = RAPE. Gotta' love that math. Don't agree? That's cool. You support what you want; and I will mine.

Wow, that was long.)

RikuxKairi (At least Sora stopped being a man-whore. There's something about those two that makes me feel happy inside... And good-happy, not sadistic-happy. Riku shouldn't be left out so much in the story, and he needs a little light. Plus that leaves Sora to go off and be a prostitute or get hit by a truck or something.)

AshxMisty (SPOILERS AHEAD FOR MISTY'S LAST EPISODE: Come on, people! They were practically made for each other! But, of course, her ditzy older sisters had to just dump all of their own responsibilties on her so they could go off and get STDs from around the world with one day's notice. Take care of your own freaking gym, you useless, plot-killing whores. Or better yet, give it away to someone more needy--like me!--then get hit by a bus and DIE. :O)

RazxLili (Because being canon every once in a while is a beautiful thing. I didn't like this at first... then I drew some art for it. It's ADORABLE. I'm not talking about full-on make-out sessions, EW, but rather, just fluff. Actual KID things, like hide-and-go-seek or poorly-made valentines and fresh-picked dandelions.)

SashaxRaz (My new OTP. Yes, I know it's gay. I know pedophilai's illegal. I know it's technically non-canon. I also know this is fanFICTION, so you can either get over yourself or get away from here. The Bill of Rights clearly states that we have 'Freedom of the Press', and if it's your job to keep everything rated K, then get a new job. Pedophilia's illegal--but so are murder, suicide, and child abuse, yet those are all expressed in this fandom we know and love. There's no reason that my willing OTP should be the one exception to the rule, and why anyone would turn a blind eye to my many, many examples of stories involving torture and death and insanity and all sorts of icky things, but get all up in arms when a fictional minor and a fictional adult have a relationship. So nyah. I do what I want. snaps fingers in a Z formation)

(Also, even when they're not jumping each other's bones, their relationship as solely mentor and student is so cute it bleeds glitter.)

FordxThe Bacon (LOLOMGOTPOTPOTP! 8D Just kidding, everyone. Really. DON'T LEAVE ME! It's so cold in here...)

FINALLY DONE! -dies-

POSSIBLE STORY IDEAS AS OF LATE?

Psychonauts:

The Colemine Effect: Soon to be a major comic series! It's been two years since the scene at Whispering Rock, and the Psychonauts are nearly destroyed. Half are dead, missing, or away, including seven of the campers. However, things start picking up after a boy experiences a near-fatal car accident, resulting in a slightly off-kilter psyche and a voice in his head that knows more than it should about a certain begoggled lad and a team of evagelicalists that do more than predict the end of the world. And thus, the pawns have been set for the final battle that could save the Psychonauts and perhaps even the world... or destroy them both

Reason I Haven't Done It Yet: Who says I haven't? The starter pages are still being inked, but this thing is going to be EPIC. 8D Empty (Drablet): During the first runthrough of the Brain Tumbler experiment, Sasha notices how oddly quiet and empty Raz's psyche has started out as. Switching between flashbacks and real-time, Raz attempts to hide the truth from Sasha as the latter struggles to find out why Raz is blocking the outside world from influencing his mind. Is Raz just preparing his mind for the Psychonauts? Or was there a deeper reason for his running away from the circus?

Reason I Haven't Done It Yet: Too boring. I've got a lot more interesting stories to write before I tackle this thing.

Stop, Drop, and Crash (Drablet): Vigilantism isn't something normally expected by the saner members of today's society, but Raz never expected he'd be locked in the same room as a half-mad escaped convict, either. Police swarm, the convict gets crazier, gossip spreads, and to the eyes of the public the whole thing is one big Amber Alert. Raz just wants that nut to burn... so thank God for pyrokinesis. He never expected the nut to panic and jump out of the window, but responds appropriately--he telekinetically saves him from certain death. What he didn't count on, however, was for the crowd to have video cameras catching the whole thing. Or for being a superhero to be so fun.

Reason I Haven't Done It Yet: Puh-lease. I already have way too many kidnapping fics on this profile. It's an unhealthy obsession, and one I need to stop. ABRUPTLY. (I might start this project later, though...)

STORIES IN PROGRESS?

A Different Side of Me (Kingdom Hearts II) (sequal to The Shadow Complex!)

I never meant for things to go so wrong. I could feel the darkness inside me, trying to take over. So I cut it out. Simple, right? Wrong. Nothing's ever that cut-and-dry. You can do the math a thousand times over, but somewhere between paper and reality, everything gets just a little warped. I guess I forgot to add in the new look, condition, the Eldest escaping, and the fact that I really couldn't even guess where I might wake up after that night. But I have to keep trying, and I won't give up until I get the right answer. To everything.

As Far As Suicides Go (Psychonauts)

Another short one-shot in poetic form. Crystal takes a moment away just before leaping from the roof of the Main lodge to think about all she's done and why she's trying to kill herself. More philosophical than anything, she considers the benefits of her death, her tagging along behind Clem, and what the other campers will think. She choses to take her own, optimistic tone despite the dark subject matter and, in short, just wants to say: CHEER UP!

Security Measures (Psychonauts)

A one-shot poem about one man's struggle to survive his own paranoia--and what it took to save him from himself. Based on the infamous 'Milkman Conspiracy', only put into a bit more emotional light. What caused Boyd's degeneration? What's with the Rainbow Squirts? What made Boyd decide to hide a piece of himself from the world? Why? Because there really is a conspiracy, and when there is, sometimes security measures must be taken. And fire's the best measure there is.

Cheating Death 101 (Psychonauts)

It wasn't exactly the epic mission Raz had been hoping for. After waiting for hours at the front desk, he's stuck with two agents who, inbetween babying him around and insulting him, respectively, can't seem to stop fighting each other. But when they uncover a secret conspiracy underground plotting out a last ditch attempt to end a curse once and for all, the group must work together just to get out alive. It's positively EPIC, really.

Dysfuntional Comeback (Kingdom Hearts II)

If you woke up one morning after your sudden death, what would you do first? If you found out that every breath you take is furthering a hole in reality, created by your simply being alive? What if the only twelve people you've known throughout your entire questionable existence were going through the same thing? Would you end it all? Would you pretend nothing happened? Or would you take this chance by its horns and not let go until you get some answers? I am. My name is Larxene. Nice to meet you.

Homecoming (Psychonauts)

Have you ever wondered what the Hand of Galochio has to say about his job? No? Too bad; it's here, anyway. In my third poetic one-shot, the mic is handed over to the Hand, who quickly drops things into a dark, sadistic tone. Done up as a note for our friend Raz, the Hand explains the sheer hopelessness of resistance and the inevitable plunge into his lair. The result is a surely twisted condolance mixed inside a cruel fact: 'All I know is what I do, and all I do is killing you'.

Manifest Destiny (Kingdom Hearts II)

Daisuke was doing well enough. It didn't matter that his dad had died, his little sister was a blooming empath, and his older sister cried every night. He knew they could make ends meet if they tried hard enough. They were a dysfuntional family, but they were a family. That is, until his world is destroyed and his 'family' is torn apart across the galaxy. He has a chance, for once, to set things right, or else die in the process. And it's all with the turn of a key.

No Safe Place (Kingdom Hearts I/Bioshock)

Every world has darkness sleeping inside, some just more than others. Still, Sora, Donald, and Goofy are confident that they can force it all back. After all, they have light on their side. They know they can enter the darkest of worlds and still come out on top, so an empty old place like Rapture should be no problem at all. Those shadows creeping along the walls are probably just rats. Really, really big rats. With blood-stained, sharp hooks. And a pechant for torture... Let's up the rating, some, boys...

Situation Critical: Coloro Pluvia (Psychonauts)

A casual mission suddenly turns into a deadly trap for Sasha, Milla, and Razputin, as an organization known as the 'Saints' rears its ugly head. Raz is attacked and left for dead, only to be recovered by a mysterious person named Daniel. Mentally wounded, Raz swears revenge, and sends off on a desperate chase throughout the snowy plains of Canada in search of the ones who attempted to kill him. However, as he soon learns, there are worse things than death...

The Shadow Complex (Kingdom Hearts II)

"Oh, look! I'm a teenage girl with supernatural powers who just saved the life of the only other person on this entire freaking planet who has powers! And turns out, he's actually some sort of alien hero! And turns out again, he's being hunted down by creeps who know more about me than my mom! And guess what? We'll probably fall in love and he'll dump his girlfriend and we'll crush the bad guys then get married and have 2.5 kids and live in a house! Isn't being original the greatest?"

"As long as you're optimistic about it all, Madison."

"Damn straight I am."

The Stained Glass Effect (Kingdom Hearts I)

Sora had never felt more crushed than that moment, on his knees, as he watched his blade--his light--being carried further and further away from him in the loose hands of his once-friend. He held out a weak hand, for all the good it did him, his despondant eyes silently begging the trio to turn around and come back.

"You're not even holding it right, Riku," he whispered as the door slammed shut with a mighty bang and silence took over. "You're not even holding it right!" He kept watching the door, even as a dark portal opened behind him, and a team of dark-cloaked individuals walked out. Even as his destiny was rewritten forever... for the worse.

To Break an Agent (Psychonauts)

A very long, very angsty one-shot that'll leave your stomach turning and make you feel just a little more cold-blooded. This deeply psychological tale transcends the boundries of human decency, grinding into you one of the more bitter morals of this word. In short, our three favorite agents are kidnapped in an attempt to interrogate destructive information out of them, and in the end have to chose: save your friends, or the world. Cotnains everything that can make a fic mature, ever.

We All Go a Little Crazy Sometimes (Kingdom Hearts I)

He was always so naive. So when he met the new neighbor, Axel, he was more than eager to help him move in. And that was all anyone thought about the incident... except for four witnesses. Axel, who was found stabbed to death in his home, one key murderer, and two who he ran to. He had expected the knife to catch on bone, or muscle, or something. It didn't. He expected he'd hate it. He didn't. It only took one incident, and Sora was never the same again.

Whew, that's a lot of writing! Wish me luck or I'll come over to your house and EAT YOUR FACE! You heard nothing.

EXTRA INFO? I draw pictures, too! To see my art, check out my DA account at shadow-warrior-nami.deviantart.com! In any case, I just love showcasing off my mad drawing skillz.

COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE...

If you believe the meek shall inherit the earth... for they are the children of the insane, who will dominate it first.

If you will never support The World Ends With You's psychic pin system.

If you will never support the pin system because you are a merit badge-earner/Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camper all the way.

If you're Republican, and will be, even if people hate you for it.

If you've been popular, and saw it really wasn't all it's cracked up to be.

If you have a dent/dents in your wall/floor/ceiling from throwing a part of a game system in a blind rage because of a difficult part (wall, DS, final boss in Kirby: Canvas Curse

If you read role-plays you aren't a part of for the plot.

If you've read Agent Nein's Livejournal and still do (points if you've spammed it!).

If you play guitar and you sing your songs in the suuunshiiiine~! And Captain and cokes and bar room jokes keep you feelin' fiiiine~!

If you understood the reference in the previous sentence.

If you're harboring a secret crush over a fictional character in a form of media.

If you think Brutal Legend should have more violence, less skimpy outfits!

If you'd rather get laid by someone of the same gender than different, and it has nothing to do with pregnancy.

If you have a million ideas that will never get outside your head, EVER.

If you've drawn suggestive pictures before.

If you've written a slash fic and liked it.

If you made up your own religion because, frankly, you're sick of the jihads and debates and laws between the 'real' ones.

If you still believe in God. He's just called Franklin now.

If you call that religion 'that one thing there about the afterlife' when anybody asks.

If you believe/hope in reincarnation.

If the thought of eternity scares you.

If you've ever been fueled to create something because people told you not to. (That slash fic; my mother tried to get me to believe that pedophilia at all is WRONG, nevermind the murder and torture and rape and what-have-you in many other fics that she doesn't seem to mind. Oh, I'm sorry. I should just kill them both off in the most sadistic way possible rather than have them partake in consentual sex. IS THAT BETTER!?)

If you collect something random (pop-tops).

If your favorite characters in a media always end up as the ones who come within an inch of their lives and bleed all over the good carpet, usually then having to be rescued by some other, slightly-less-awesome character (Raz and, early on, Sora).

If the above suddenly turned into a revenge ploy because of something detestable the character did later in the media (Sora killing Organization XIII and becoming less cute, more annoying).

If you have a long and pointless list of 'copy and paste this into your profile' notes.

If you hate the fact that black people can call you a 'WHITE TRASH BITCH' until they're blue in the face, but as soon as you say a racist insult back you can be legally arrested for a hate crime. Nevermind freedom of expression--because of what people years before my time, who share nothing but my skin color, did, suddenly I'm holding the barrel of this lit cannon. No, no, no. Hasn't Cheating Death 101 taught you ANYTHING?

If you have Iron Maiden, Betty Midler, Queen, and Weird Al all on your MP3 player and love them all.

If 'Shadow of the Day' nearly drove you to tears once you listened to the lyrics.

If a book ever made you retch.

If you spent ten minutes or more doing nothing but staring at the ceiling after you finished Psychonauts because the adventure was over. OVER.

If people are surprised when a fic of yours DOESN'T have violence in it....Wow, I really don't have anything else to say.

Bye for now! See you soon! Don't worry; you'll be back. You always come back. Like lambs to the slaughter.

YOU WILL NOW FORGET YOU READ THIS MESSAGE USING MY HYPNOTIC POWERS. (Side effects may include, but are not limited to, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarehhea, belief that you can fly, drowiness, fainting spells, speaking German, an extreme phobia of sheep and cows, dizziness, suicide, homicide, anger management issues, stress, no room in the boat, Spartans, and an incredible urge to play Ping-Pong for seventy-three hours straight, then play 'Through the Fire and Flames' on Guitar Hero III on Expert mode because you played a real guitar in collage, you should do great.)

??Psycho Director?? 8D