HINTERLAND WHO'S WHO: THE SMART ALECKETTE

The Smart Aleckette (also known as Alette and the Magical Lumeberjack moose) is an extremely rare creature. Although many people have stereotyped it as an overly-apologetic, drunk hockey-loving moose, that is not true. The Smart Aleckette is, in fact, an overly-apologetic, sober hockey-loving moose.

The Smart Aleckette is a wild creature and, therefore, best left alone. Although it does not initially pose a threat, it will attack if provoked. To avoid aggravating the Smart Aleckette, one should refrain from 1. Insulting the Smart Aleckette's friends, 2. Implying that basketball is a sport for wimps, 3. Using excessive chatspeak/exclamation points, 4. Dissing Nintendo, 5. Acting like a bigot, 6. Playing country music near the Smart Aleckette, and 7. Scratching paper within the Smart Aleckette's hearing range. When provoked, the Smart Aleckette will argue, use biting sarcasm, or in extreme cases, will skip both steps and punch its adversary in the face. Conversely, the Smart Aleckette enjoys writing, following politics, healthy debating, reading, watching Disney's old animated films or Canadian TV shows, basketball, watching the Vlogbrothers on Youtube, and memorizing useless trivia. While engaged in any of these activities, the Smart Aleckette may be approached safely.

Although its natural habitat is the frozen wasteland of Can-uh-duh, it has also been spotted frequently at the Shelf, DeviantArt, NationStates, and, of course, FanFiction. Unfortunately, the Smart Aleckette is an endagered species, with only one of its kind known on Earth. This is due to a number of factors, including the introduction of "n00bs" to its habitat, conformist attitudes, horrible teen "literature" (especially of the vampire variety), and, of course, heart attacks caused by the excessive consumption of Hershey kisses.

But you can help save the Smart Aleckette from extinction! It is a simple matter of reading some of the Smart Aleckette's fanfictions, or clicking any of the above links.

This message has not been brought to you by Environment Canada. Do not write to them for more information.

WRITER'S CORNER

There are only three reasons for why you are here. The first is because you were playing a game of "follow the links," the second is because you read something of mine and you wanted to know more about this crazy writer, and the third is because you wanted to make sure I'm not dead yet. (For those in the third category; your concern is touching.)

If you belong to the second group, then this is the little corner you were looking for, where I talk about my writing. And me. But mostly writing.

I've been on FF for four years now, and you can tell by reading my older works as compared to my newer ones that my writing has improved. A lot. I would suggest that you don't read my old stuff though, because it was horrendous and I don't know why I wasn't flamed for it. I would have flamed it if I read it during my days as a flamer. (That's a shameful part of my history that I don't want to get into to much detail about.) I won't talk much about the fandoms I write in - you can see for yourself by scrolling to the top and looking at the list - but I'm hoping to move into the Harvest Moon fandom eventually.

Now. Back to the important stuff.

Even before I joined FF, I had no intentions of ever becoming a writer. I'd been writing since I was eight, and I loved it, I just didn't want to be a writer. So why write fanfiction? Because I would get ideas and. They. Would. Not. Leave. Me. Alone. So from about late 2007 to early 2011, I was writing just so my head wouldn't explode from the ideas. I didn't write just fanfiction either; I also wrote a lot of original fiction, although none of that's posted online.

Recently though, I've kind of had a change of heart. I want to drastically improve my writing, and while I could join FictionPress to get feedback on my original fiction, I don't believe in FP. Besides, I think writing fanfiction is better practice. Sure, you have already-established worlds and characters to work with, but writing good fanfiction requires you to hone your characterization abilities. Plus, if you have good reviewers, they won't let you get away with anything.

So that's what I'm using FF for now; as a creative outlet, and a place to improve my writing abilities. A Twist of Fate is kind of my pet project at the moment. I want to finish this by the end of the year.

Then, during 2012, I'll be starting an insane project for the Phoenix Wright fandom... but more on that in December. :)

ALETTE'S RANT

5/11/11: I don't like copy-and-pastes. I really don't like profiles that are a giant block of copy-and-pastes. But the worst of them all are those "repost this on your profile/forward this to 10 people or Bloody Mary/random chick who got buried alive in the 30's will kill you at midnight!" messages. I've seen them on profiles here, in posts on Youtube videos, and even gotten those annoying chain emails. I'd guess I've seen twenty such messages, and five varities of them. Guess what?

I ignored them all.

And I'm still alive.

Well, you know, I'm pretty sure I'm still alive. Last time I checked, all of my vital organs were in working order. Heart beating - check. Lungs breathing - check. Nervous system functioning - check. Brain working - check. Okay, maybe the last one is up for debate. But yeah, I'm still alive.

Trust me, you have a greater chance of dying in your car than you do by not reposting those messages. To be honest, I don't think that Mary Tudor gives a shit if you repost messages on the Internet. Since, you know, she's kind of dead. And the Internet didn't exist in the 1500s. And she was called Bloody Mary because she persecuted Protestants, not because she kills people who don't pass on messages that could be considered death threats. ("Do x or you'll die!" is the template for a death threat, and don't those messages fit the description?)

So please, I'm begging you. If you're going around this site, or Youtube, or your email, or anywhere, and you see something that fits this description, for the love of all that you consider holy, DO NOT REPOST OR FORWARD IT. There are some things you can do, but you just shouldn't do them. Like put tinfoil in the microwave or drive at 100 clicks an hour on a road that's icy enough to be a skating rink. This is one of them.