-Today, I was working on a much put-off science assignment about the axolotl. One of the requirements was to find out their courtship behavior. Most of the results I got for “axolotl mating” only came up with help for breeding domestic axolotls. So, I searched “wild axolotl mating”.

I then realized it sounded like I was looking for hardcore salamander porn.-

Hi!!1111one!!eleventyone!! OMG I lov Japan an anme an magna! I'm veri mesterious an kinda emo! Tehehe! OMG KAWAII!

...Hehehe. No. ;p

I apologize for my crudely drawn President/jelly filled pastry avatar.

Nothing much here for now. I figure that I won't waste time on my profile until I publish ten stories or something. Yup.

NOTE ABOUT 'THE PUNS JUST DRAGONFABLE':

I haven't updated this story in...uh...almost a year now. It's kind of on hiatus. I wrote the bulk of the current chapters during summer vacation, and real life is the worst progress halter EVER. (On-and-off depression, highly increased amount of schoolwork, moved houses, got a new dog, decided to transfer schools because of their political intolerance and also because a Queen song sent me a subliminal message to...switched back to old school after one week, also because of Queen song subliminal messages...you know, usual teen stuff.) I think I'll start it up again when I finally get over scene-specific writer's block. (If anyone has any idea on what a group of insane main characters can do while they're in a cave full of evil almost-humanoid spiders trying to save a captive dragon egg, please let me know. :p The original idea was to have them beat up the Chaosweavers as Kiyan sang the song Yellowcard made for Spider-Man 2, but I dunno now.)

July 23, 2011 update-So I started Puns at the beginning of middle school and now I'm finally going to finish it at the end. That is all. It's funny.)

+Random Info because I Flippin' Feels Like it

Name: Guess. Go on, guess.

Age: Between fourteen and sixteen.

Gender: Female.

Religion and Beliefs and All of Those Weird, Complicated Stuffs: Christianity, but I'm not very traditional at all. I think we should all drive hybrids and gay couples should be able to adopt kids! (...okay, that was a 30 Rock reference. But still.) So yeah. I won't be putting petitions to get the Bible section taken out of this website or posting the abortion guilt-trip fest of fun on my profile anytime soon. Also, I'll still accept your beliefs even if you don't accept mine. (unless you're a cannibal who clubs endangered species on the head) I go to a highly religious missionary school, so I understand why some people find Christianity messed-up. It is, actually. I think I'll start calling myself...Jesusist or something. Yeah. (I've calculated it...I think I've wasted about five days of my life sitting in Bible class. -shudder-)

Due to being a major Star Wars fan a few years ago, "kriffing" and "karking" have made their way into my vocabulary.

If I saw Miley Cyrus about to jump off a building, I would be screaming, "HOLY CRAP YOU JACKASSES CALL THE POLICE A TEENAGE GIRL IS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE (and splatter you with blood)" at the cheering crowds.

I once ate a random piece of cereal I found in my room, even though I knew that room was infested with bugs. I then stared blankly into space for about a minute, wondering why the heck I ate it. FRICK YEAH. ;D

Music is Tasteh: I'm an unabashed Queen fangirl. Ish. Typethingy. I also love Led Zeppelin, The Beatles (do you think I'm a hipster now? I bet you think I'm a hipster now), Blondie, The Who, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, The Darkness, Paramore, Relient K, Frank Sinatra, Owl City, and other artists I have Greatest Hits or Very Best Of CDs but am not into yet.

...But TV is Pretty Good Too: I like Arrested Development, 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Friends, Seinfeld, Glee, Scrubs, Blackadder, the Office (US...I haven't gotten around to watching the original yet), and the IT Crowd (UK).

+The Squishy Stories! YAY!:

Current:

The Puns Just DragonFable (AdventureQuest)-Kiyan leaves home. On her way to Falconreach, a series of events forces her to search for a Dragon Egg. It seems simple at first, but one day, something much, much bigger will come along... (In-Progress)

Go On (Star Wars)-An Obidala/songfic parody set to Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". Padmé does some thinking... (Complete)

Future:

Hope For (AdventureQuest)-Half-sequel to The Puns Just DragonFable.

Ashes (DragonFable)

That Makes Me Feel Happy! (Super Smash Bros.)-Parodying romance, plots, and Jerk Sues of the SSBB fandom.

(Some clever title I haven't decided on yet)-Star Wars parody.

(Another clever title I haven't decided on yet)-Warriors parody/humor.

Annnnnd:

These/this are/is my stories/story on AnimalCrossingCommunity. (Yeah, yeah, I know that website's strict and all that crap. I don't really care.) At the moment, there's only one story, but I had about five at one point. They all died. ._.' I might repost them if I feel like it. They're too OC-laden and confusing for FF.net.

One Small Misstep for Man-Collaboration with choc1809

+Quotes

"Anyone know the answer?"

-all guys raise their hands, no girls do-

"See? We're more smarter than them!"-Boy in my Math class.

"Can they sign my mom?"

"Can they sign my sword?"

"What sword? You're not holding anything!"-DragonFable quest, unintentional innuendo. Or...is it? -shifty eyes-

"Global warming is not cool."-A random guy. He probably stole that from somewhere, though

"Suck my balls."

"My mom has a rule about me not putting small things in my mouth."-Awesome comeback from someone on ACC. I used it on a random spammer later.

"This is not f-ing funny at all, you immiture freak."-A review for a Warriors fanfic.

+Speaking of Warriors fanfics...

Read this. Obvious trollfic, right? Mmkay, now read the reviews. Oh God, I think the clueless reviewers are even funnier than the story itself. ;p

+And now for some random satire-ish-thing:

“Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead instead of your lips, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you..."

Really?

I won't need to find him.

That guy who I wouldn't care what he calls me, because I know he means it.

Someone I would call back immediately when I hang up.

Someone who would stay awake just to listen to me rant about Star Wars or World War II or something.

Someone who wouldn't show me off in my sweats-and couldn't-because he knows I hate exercising.

No comment on the kissing thing. That one's impossible to twist to my evil will.

Someone who holds my hand because we have a pact to annoy his friends.

Someone who, when he sees me without makeup on, mock-screams in horror and pretends to die.

One who's constantly reminding me of how much he cares and how lucky I AM TO HAVE HIM...

I don't care how "perfect" he is. I don't give a crud about how "romantic" he is. I couldn't care less about the stars or the flattering. I'm not going to wait for the compliments and the "oh sweetie it was MY fault!"; I want someone who's going to break my heart and probably make me miserable on more than one occasion. That's life. I'm going to wait for someone I WOULD DIE FOR.