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Author has written 38 stories for Ninja Turtles. My name is Amanda (my real name) I am a single mother of one awesome little girl of 5. I've lived alot in the past 25 years, and understand many things, and confused about others. LOL. I discovered TMNT fanfiction one night and fell in love with it and eventually found my passion for writing stories. I am working on other stories in other TV series but since I'm new to the series, I'm taking it slow. I enjoy reading, writing and arithmetic(Just kidding, like I like math, just not like doing it all the time) LOL. My kind of music? HEHEHEHHE I am a fan of many different types. I'll listen to Tupac Shakur then Garth Brooks, to Dr.Hook and Rolling Stones, to Celtic THunder (CHECK IT OUT) to so many different types. I'm into rap, rock, pop, country, celtic, musicals, I'm just into everything. I am a fan of the following TV series: Numb3rs, CSI (original one, 1st one, not the other ones), Friends (now who doesn't like them), Reba, Bones (now you gotta admit, its actually good), Criminal Minds, HOUSE, MD BABY! (Now House is awesome!) Hell's Kitchen, TMNT (of course, I like the 2003 series better, nicer flow. BTTS is okay...hopefully gets better fingers crossed), and so many more. LOL. Should head to bed though. ANYONE WANTS TO GET A HOLD OF ME, EMAIL ME AT teardrops 1728 @ yahoo . ca (no spaces though) or at prince _ amanda _dawn @ hotmail . com (no spaces here either) Letting you all know, still OFF-LINE TILL HOPEFULLY APRIL 5th, 2009, and will try to get online then. LATERS GOTTA FLY! Authors note: No one has the right to hit you in anger, while drunk, on drugs, goaded, or threatened. This is called Physical abuse. No one is allowed to touch you in anyway that is uncomfortable and you do not like it. (IE hugging, kissing, fondling, against your will. Meaning that you do not want them doing any of that.) This is sexual abuse. No one has the right to tear your self esteem down and call you names in anger, spite, drunkenness, on drugs, or bullied. This is mental abuse. This kind of abuse needs to be heard. It can be stopped, if its happening to you, tell someone until someone believes you. It can stop. Don't make the same mistake I made. I told no one. I couldn't. Now that I'm older, away from them, i realized, I should have told. Should have said something. I regret it now. Be brave, be strong, your not alone!! Talk to someone, anyone, me if you have to, I'll always listen. Just tell someone. Get justice! Okay, I know, I know, but I need to say it. I spent a long time growing up in an abusive home. One reason why I'm so good at writing hurt stories. I know what it feels like to wear a mask all the time. I'm posting one of my favorite poems below. I know what its like (this is the title. LOL) I know what its like You want to be heard To be seen more often than not You travel through life A shadow that is there But never actually seen I know what its like When no one sees past what you show Because your afraid that if you show The fear and pain that’s deep inside You look at everyone around you They will know and talk about you I know what its like To make sure none of them know The pain inside that grows And you want to scream and cry And not get brushed off I know what its like To go through the world It passes you by And no one sees you And you continue to cry The rain keeps on coming I know what its like You can’t seem to shake the feelings inside Because you’re scared of getting hurt You feel like you need to run and hide The pain that grows and you cry inside I know what its like The face you show shows a false smile You laugh and joke like nothing is wrong You tell yourself that no one cares Because inside you You feel like you are dying I know what its like To be a soul that keeps hurting Tired of being mocked Of being hurt and made fun of Tired of hearing you aren’t good enough I know what its like To hear you won’t amount to anything You mask keeps slipping And you hope someone sees I know what its like To have a tear that falls A cry that slips free A scream that is never heard I know what it feels like To have your heart so torn To be so bruised that you cannot keep going To feel the rocks that hit you And feel like your garbage I know what it feels like To have your mother disown you To have her yell and scream and pull your hair And to have her ignore your cries I know what it feels like to be abused To have whispers of threats And smelling the sweat Things a girl should never know Until they are finally grown up I know what it feels like To have a close one taken Your heart torn in two And you keep shaking And keep yelling for her to return I know what its like To be the one who is an outcast To be shoved aside and not exist And told that your evil and should just go I know what its like to have the whole world against you To have nothing all the time And feel worthless all the time I know what its like To turn your family away To stop the pain from continuing You shove them out of your life I know what its like To live day by day And feel like your nothing inside That the loneliness you feel Is part of your life now I know what its like to be completely alone To not have anyone by your side And you feel like no one can hear your cries I know what its like To have your little one say She loves you so much And her hugs and kisses pick you up I know what its like To live for your child She makes everything worthwhile With her laughter and freedom And her carefree ways Makes you wish that this sadness wasn’t there Because how can you be sad When you have a great girl like her I know what its like To live a life that’s half shadow And half mask To be split in two So no one knows about the pain A mother who laughs and giggles all day Keeps her smile on for all to see That she’s not in pain and not crying inside I know what its like To hide behind the shadow of doubt And keep the pain inside from showing And to stop the crying from falling I know what its like To be half a person for the world But alone A shadow, a ghost, Silent and crying I know what its like To be half a shadow And show nothing but a mask Just to keep from being hurt I know what its like To feel like your not wanted And nothing works anymore And you want to keep from screaming And become a shadow once again As you put the mask back on I told you all before I know what its like………. To be nothing of nothing No one worth anything A shadow the world walks on A ghost no one can hear A mask no one can see past I know what its like As the mask slips on in place Hiding the tears that are suppressed And the pain that is inside Fades behind the mask……….. Amanda I copyright this poem, it is mine, no one is allowed to copy it. It is mine by right. There, I said it, its mine, you cannot use it, sticking tongue out at evil poem stealer's! Sorry, had to put that little disclaimer in there. I had my poems stolen before. So all my poems are copyrighted. LOL. Learn from my mistakes. | |||||||||||||
1. Who Was He Today? » reviewsMikey is put through Hell at the hands of Shredder! After forgetting who he was, his brothers and family struggle to bring back their Mikey. Chapter 31 is UPDATD!Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 59,125 - Reviews: 150 - Updated: 11-14-09 - Published: 6-12-08 - Michelangelo2. My Secret » reviewsMikey writes a report. A report that tells a secret. Something he longs to tell his family. A secret he knows would change everything...a secret where he hurts himself...his family write letters back, telling what they feel...and struggle to help MikeyNinja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,778 - Reviews: 72 - Updated: 11-11-09 - Published: 5-13-08 - Michelangelo - Complete3. Remembrance Day reviews5 year old Mikey goes to his father in search of answers of Remembrance Day, Poppies, War and soldiers. in honour of my little girl who asked me the sameNinja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Family/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,803 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-10-09 - Michelangelo & Splinter - Complete4. Wake Me Up » reviewsHe screamed in horror at what he was seeing. Trapped inside this nightmare. Slowly.....he screamed to wake up, begged for his family to wake him up.....but would they be able to save him in time?Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,840 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 11-7-09 - Published: 11-3-09 - Michelangelo - Complete5. Mystic Island » reviewsHe was alone. They thought he was dead, and he thought it was better that way. He lived on a Island that was hidden. He lived there,a guard, a Dr, a teacher, until a rescue mission had brought 4 prisoners. A family that thought he had been dead for yearsNinja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,425 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-21-09 - Published: 10-18-09 - Michelangelo6. A Father's Mistake reviewsHe didn't know all the rules. He was doing his best as a parent. Some risks he knew, others he didn't. He never expected the pure terror only a parent could feel.Ninja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,389 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-3-09 - Splinter & Michelangelo - Complete7. The Fight, The Return » reviewsA fight....a battle....words yelled..one injured....it wraps up to this. Two leave, one was injured, one was angered. Two others shamed and guilty. How do you pick up the pieces? How do you return to a life you left? How do you become a family again?Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,235 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-27-09 - Published: 9-23-098. Brainiacs reviewsMikey was hiding something very important. When Don walks in and sees an opportunity to gain answers, he is astounded by what he finds......Ninja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Family/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,320 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-16-09 - Michelangelo & Donatello - Complete9. Foster Child » reviewsMikey was a foster kid, separated from his brothers at 3 years. He grows up abused, alone, afraid. At his new school, he meets 3 brothers, and denies that they have a connection. He hides his past,he's been alone, he's being hurt, can his friends help?Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,697 - Reviews: 91 - Updated: 9-14-09 - Published: 9-22-08 - Michelangelo10. Crawling in the Darkness » reviewsAnother day, another reason, to be ready to fight. Why? Because he loved his family. But why did he feel this uneasiness? He didn't know, but he was preparing...One night, after being ambushed, he wonders, was this his life he was living?Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,047 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 8-25-09 - Published: 8-2-09 - Michelangelo11. The Right Direction » reviewsLeo had been home for 2 months now. All is well with Raph, but with Don and Mike, its a whole other story. They are fed up without answers and Mikey breaks down, and Don holds him up.Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,672 - Reviews: 60 - Updated: 8-21-09 - Published: 11-29-08 - Michelangelo & Donatello12. Thunder and Lightning » reviewsI'm sorry, this one too, its so hard, but I have major writers block and all i seem to be able to do is write new stories, while these ones I'm stuck on. So Sorry again, but this is discontinued.Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,444 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 5-4-09 - Published: 9-14-08 - Michelangelo & Raphael - Complete13. Second Start » reviewsI'm sorry, this one too, its so hard, but I have major writers block and all i seem to be able to do is write new stories, while these ones I'm stuck on. So Sorry again, but this is discontinued.Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,239 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 5-4-09 - Published: 1-25-08 - Michelangelo & Raphael - Complete14. PTSD » reviewsI'm sorry, this one too, its so hard, but I have major writers block and all i seem to be able to do is write new stories, while these ones I'm stuck on. So Sorry again, but this is discontinued.Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 23,930 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 5-4-09 - Published: 6-2-08 - Michelangelo - Complete15. Language Barrier » reviewsSorry Folks, I would love to continue this, but I have been stuck for quite some time and I just can't keep it up.Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,593 - Reviews: 67 - Updated: 5-4-09 - Published: 7-11-08 - Michelangelo & Leonardo - Complete16. Welcome To My Life reviewsPart Two of My Song Fic Series--He laid on his bed, feeling lost, alone. He didn’t know where he should stand, or where he should go. He was in his room, the room he had torn apart years ago, anger driven.Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,924 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5-4-09 - Michelangelo - Complete17. Perfect World reviewsMikey jumped to the next building, he couldn’t believe it. All this time, all he did, all thrown aside. Tears ran down his cheeks. He felt betrayed, hurt, angry and sad. He felt lost. Leo was leaving him.Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4-17-09 - Michelangelo & Leonardo - Complete18. Hunted and Stalked » reviewsMikey is injured, stalked and terrorized by a man calling himself the Hunter. This Hunter was hired by a red haired man. What is going on? A good enemy? A evil scientist? Mikey is the heir of Foot Enterprises? What else is going on?Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 37,662 - Reviews: 154 - Updated: 4-16-09 - Published: 5-20-08 - Michelangelo & Raphael - Complete19. I Wanted You To See Me » reviewsMikey and Don are hiding their true feelings behind a mask.Its not until Mikey screams at Leo they tell. Don and Mikey had enough of being a failure or not taken seriously, so they leave. Don hears Mikey's dark secret.Up for ADOPTION/Dis-ContinuedNinja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,824 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 1-10-09 - Published: 7-16-08 - Michelangelo & Donatello - Complete20. Mikey's Journey » reviewsAfter a bad arguement and a very trying time, Mikey shatters. He tried changing, he tried being just him. Nothing makes his brothers happy. He can't grow up, he cant be a child. He got it. Tired, frustrated and hurt, he leaves the lair......Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 12,442 - Reviews: 74 - Updated: 1-8-09 - Published: 12-26-08 - Michelangelo - Complete21. Family Bonds reviewsMikey is afraid of doctors, he has every right to be....a fear that rises when Mikey gets really sick and is brought to the hospital, a place he had no desire to be. Family Bonds are tested when one of theirs is sick. FF story.Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,084 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 11-30-08 - Michelangelo - Complete22. Dream Big reviewsMikey has a story to tell and only Raph sits down to listen.Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,020 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 11-22-08 - Michelangelo & Raphael - Complete23. Never Forget » reviewsWhen they are 9, Splinter tries to teach them about Remembrance Day. They learn to remember those who have died protecting someone. Years go by and Mikey is there when the planes hit the Towers. As he attempts to save people, he knows to Never ForgetNinja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,961 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 11-11-08 - Michelangelo - Complete24. I Miss You reviewsThey return to the farm, after a year has past. A anniverery of a death is hard enough but when one blames himself for that death, its hard to let go of the guilt features Song I Miss you, by Hannah Montana Challenge Fic by little cousin.Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,916 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-24-08 - Michelangelo - Complete25. Mikey's Story Crisis reviewsMikey writes a story, and is excited about it. But when Raph blurts out the truth about something Magical, he is crushed. The Magic is gone....or is it?Ninja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,063 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-14-08 - Michelangelo - Complete26. New Leader reviewsWhat would happen if someone took over leadership while Leo was gone to the Amazon? Who would you think would be able to be leader? What would Splinter and Leo think when Mikey decides things needs to change and steps up as their new Leader?Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - General/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,909 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-9-08 - Michelangelo - Complete27. Empty Stomachs, Full Hearts reviewsHe was so hungry. He wanted food. But he knew it was hard to find it. So he kept silent. He knew father was gone, he went out, looking for food. Mikey reflects on a certain part of his childhood, remembering when they had nothing but eachother.Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,385 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-8-08 - Michelangelo & April O'Neil - Complete28. Fighting For Each Other » reviewsIt wasn't real, it couldn't be. Splinter dead? It's not true, is it? When Mikey wakes up and discovers a horriffying sight, his shild is gone and he can't deal with all the emotions. He reverts and his brothers struggle to help him. NEW SUMMERY!Ninja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,996 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-17-08 - Published: 6-29-08 - Michelangelo & Leonardo - Complete29. Revealed Past » reviewsWhile Mikey recovers from recalling terrifying memories when he was a child, he struggles to get past the fear...with new friends and his families support, he heals...only having to deal with more troubles....and enemies..PART ONE OF TWONinja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 28,887 - Reviews: 78 - Updated: 6-27-08 - Published: 3-8-08 - Michelangelo & Baxter Stockman - Complete30. Grief of the Sunshine » reviewsMikey has a girlfriend, a whole other family topside, where he is so different, his family doesn't know about them. But when tradegy hits his secret family, Raph steps up to help his little bro grieve, his remaining family holds a grudge against MikeyNinja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,473 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 6-15-08 - Published: 4-16-08 - Michelangelo & Raphael - Complete31. Should Have Marked It reviewsWho knew that there were color coded containers for a reason?Ninja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,800 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 6-11-08 - Michelangelo - Complete32. Secret Me » reviewsMikey always hid his emotions, hidden within, unleashed only in his art where he could fade away.When he runs from the lair after being hurt by 2 of his brothers, he is kidnapped and tortured. After being rescued, the brothers have to deal with the damageNinja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,451 - Reviews: 64 - Updated: 5-29-08 - Published: 3-28-08 - Michelangelo - Complete33. I didn't want to be a Ninja! reviewsJust a Quick one shot about Mikey. READNinja Turtles - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-18-08 - Michelangelo - Complete34. Skeleton Appetite » reviewsUPDATED-You see nothing good, feel useless, feel fat When Mikey overhears these truths coming from family, he starts on a mission to change himself, and on this path, he obsesses about himself, losing himself as his family tries to save him from himselfNinja Turtles - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 23,564 - Reviews: 124 - Updated: 3-31-08 - Published: 2-16-08 - Michelangelo - Complete35. Klunk's Last Sacrifice reviewsWhen Mikey's cat Klunk destroys many things in Don's lab, its up to Mikey to get replacement parts at the junkyard...and he takes Klunk along for the ride...and ends up in a accident and he's all alone....except for Klunk....Ninja Turtles - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,633 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 3-24-08 - Michelangelo - Complete36. Contemplating » reviewsA story of truths comes in the form of a very hurt Mikey who tries to show his family that he tried...but eventually, even the happiest turtle can show the biggest pain...Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,381 - Reviews: 75 - Updated: 3-13-08 - Published: 1-25-08 - Michelangelo - Complete37. Nightmares and Memories » reviewsMikey over hears Leo saying that he needs to grow up and see how evil humans can be, but unknown to his family, Mikey already knows how evil they can be, because he experienced it first hand....and tries to bury the memories his family doesnt know about..Ninja Turtles - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,333 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 2-11-08 - Published: 2-1-08 - Michelangelo - Complete38. Temper Control » reviewsAs a young Splinter raises four turtles, he learns the hard way that his temper needs to be controlled after he loses it with his son....and how to deal with the aftermath..Ninja Turtles - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,898 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 1-26-08 - Published: 1-25-08 - Splinter & Michelangelo - Complete
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