Currently: I am embracing my inner Hikari while trying to juggle school, sleep, and writing. I have yet to find that balance.

Mind Mode: Writer/Reader/Gamer/Don't-Feel-Like-Doing-Anything/YouTube Watcher
Note: Bold and underlined - Main mode; Just bolded - Secondary mode

Quote of the Month: Evidently, running around the barn and jumping off the wooden divider fence things while humming the Pink Panther Theme and waving the (electric cattle) prod at people does not a good auction barn helper make.
~Me, on my concept of World Domination

December quote: Why say 'Bahumbug'? It's so overused. If you want someone to leave you alone during Christmas, just respond like you would any other time of the year: Go away.
~My mother

NEWSBOARD:

01-27-10 - (groans) Writer's Block... Painful... (headdesk)

-01-19-10 - My updation timeline has plumetted into the unknown abyss. I have no idea when the next update will be. Hopefully sometime in the next week/month. Pray for me.

-01-11-10 - Finals begin the day after tomorrow. Unfortunately, my mind has been on things other than writing. Dunno when the next update will be.

- 01/05/10 - I returned to school today, and I ran on autopilot all day. Not a good sign. Since I have to get into the swing of school work again, and the fact that Exams are coming up, updates will slow until Finals are over and done with. In other news, it's friggin cold!

-01-01-10 - TPTPATP HATH BEEN UPDATED! Go check it out! Also, check out the date! My detail obsessed mind got a kick out of all the ones (1!1!1!1!) and zeroes (000000)!

-12-30-09 - I finally figure out what I'm gonna do in the next chapter of TPtPatP. I'll hopefully be able to write some more tomorrow.

-12-27-09 - I finally drag myself away from the TV to check on my emails and attempt to write a section of the next chapter. The attempt goes sour. I never realized how addicting and mind numbing video games can be...

- 12/25/09 - MERRY CHRISTMAS!! May God bless all of you, and I hope you enjoy your holidays. May we all make it to the New Year safely. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for presents, food, and NO WRITING! Here's hoping that everyone around here took a day off from the demanding task of Fanfiction to rest. I'll be back full swing tomorrow. (I might review something... Dunno yet.)

- 12/24/09 - I'm gonna make it offical and declare no Christmas oneshot. Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with a plot on time...

- 12/23/09 - I realize that the Newsboard has become synomous with Twitter. Anyone want to know what my cat did today?

-12/23/09 - I start fleshing out the rest of the plot for TPtPatP while attempting to shove Alvin getting in trouble in there somewhere. (I knew that filler paragraph would come back to bite me.) I also start to realize that coming back to writing means that people expect you to review too. Didn't know it was a package deal people...

- 12/22/09 - I start brainstorming for an origional and uncliched Christmas oneshot. Death and destruction anyone? -_-

(Really... I could use an idea. My muse has curled up and died in a box somewhere (possibly Guam) and this starving authoress could use some help.)

- 12/22/09 - TPtPatP has been updated, and my haitus offically comes to an end.

- 6/28/2009 - My haitus offically starts because a massive amount of writer's block and no spark. D:

Table of contense:

1: Links

2: General Info

3: Info for upcoming stories

4: The Prince, The Pauper, and the Purposeless Commentaries.

5: Bios and random information for stoies already posted

6: Random Chipmunk Stuff

7: Copy and paste crap

8: Normal conversations between myself and my friends/family.

9: Closing

1.

Links:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1505454/cullenzutarakyorufanThis is Bella's profile! She's that insane girl that I wrote Bella's Birthday with.

Lizzie-Tizzie deviantART page

Kitty Seville and I have started a few stories together and we couldn't figure out who's profile to put them on so we started a profile together. Go and read them and review! SevilleSisters

Lookit! I won the contest for my story Halloween Happenings! As a prize, one of my good friends, Lord Narf, drew me a picture of a scene from the story. Go check it out. http://narfeth.deviantart.com/art/Halloween-Happenings-106095664

I enjoy talking to people. If you wanna chat with me, drop me a line. I have multiple accounts all over the place. Here, iScribble, deviantArt, YouTube. COME TALK TO MEH!

2.

General Info

Name: Ashley

Nick-names: Ashes, Ashurii

Middle name: Marie-Elizabeth

Age: 16

Gender: Female (as if it wasn't painfully obvious)

Hair: Brown; curly

Eyes: Hazel

Height: 5' 6''

Weight: ask again. I dare you.

Current major obsession: Sonic the Hedgehog

Current minor obsession: Yu-Gi-Oh!

Favorite book: Too many to name

Favorite Cartoon: Chipmunks/Any Sonic cartoon.

Favorite TV show: House

State: Texas

Proud Chipmunk lover since 1995.

Proud Twilight Reader since 2006.

Proud Maximum Ride Reader since 2007.

Proud to be an American since Oct. 11, 1993.

Please note: I do not take kindly to being called Ash. Do I look like some kid who shoves animals into small balls? Didn't think so.

My current obsessions: (listed in order from extreme obsession to nostalgic love)

1. Sonic the Hedgehog - Don't ask me about this one. I love things that have a lot of background and things to explore; Sonic has a lot: Games, shows, comics. (I perfer the games over everything else.) I also grew up with these games...

2. Yu-Gi-Oh (orgional show) - This one is another with an extreme background. There's just so much to learn. I still have my cards from when I was little and I frequently challenge my cousin to duels... :D

3. Chipmunks - These little guys were actually my very first obsession, and (as you can tell from my archive) they have come back full fource when the 2007 movie came out. But, like every other good cartoon that has nostalgic value, it was at its best back in the 80's. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore were meant to be at least 3 feet tall. I don't care how cute they are when they get downgraded to less than a foot. If anything, the size decrease just encourages the furries...

4. Pokemon (Grr... Stupid site won't let me do the little thing over the e...) - Once again, this show has nostalgic value. I remember a time when I used to watch this show with my cousins when I was little. I stopped watching when Ash's voice changed... The last movie I own is the one with Celebi. I also have fallen behind the times with this one; I only know of the first 150 Pokemon. (I can sing the first Pokerap from memory. (Has there been another one?))

5. Animaniacs - No explination needed for this one. I mean, how could you not love this show? It was funny in both an adult and childish way, and the characters are very likeable.

3.

Info for upcoming stories

1. The Prince, The Pauper, and the Purposeless

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Staus: In progress

Chapters: I have no idea yet. I'm hoping to shoot for somewhere between 15-30.

Setting: Late 1700's; Boston Mass.

Summery: Three Chipmunks are orphaned and left on a doorstep in 18th century America, and all three are adopted by different people. Simon by a peasant woman named Marie Seville, Alvin by her brother, David, and Theodore by a high class man. When Simon’s adoptive mother dies from a mysterious illness, he is forced to live out his days in the streets as a pauper. Can he find his long lost brothers that he only has vague memories of?

Posted: Yes

Rating: T

2. Meet the Parents

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Status: Complete

Chapters: 2

Setting: The Chipmunks' neighborhood; a few months after the events in The Chipmunk Story.

Summary: Takes place after The Chipmunk Story Dave and the boys have finally settled down, but danger comes knocking when Dave's parents show up. How will they react when they find out they're grandparents... TO CHIPMUNKS?!

Posted: Yes

Rating: K

3. Memory Blank

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Status: In progress

Chapters: One - really long oneshot.

Setting: Seville household and neighborhood around. 1980's; Summer, so NO SCHOOL!!

Summary: It all started on a normal Saturday morning. Dave falls and bumps his head, throwing himself and the boys into a wirlwind of confusion. He loses his memory and the boys have to figure out a way to get it back, intact. But, they also have to listen to Dave's every beck and call, even though he believes they are performing animals.

Posted: Yes

Rating: K+

4. Orphanage Chronicles

Sonic the Hedgehog

Status: In progress - posted

Chapters: No idea yet

Setting: Orphanage in Green Hill Zone

Summary: Shunned from everyone else around him, a young fox seeks solace from the only other one that doesn't fit it. They become fast friends, and enjoy the simple joys of childhood. Join them on their journey as they combat thunderstorms and big bodies of water.

Posted: Yes

5. Father's Day Ramblings

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Status: Complete

Chapters: One.

Setting: Seville Household

Sumary: The boys have moved on and are in college. One Father's Day, Dave thinks that the boys forgot about the date and he starts to think about how things used to be. Unknown to him, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore may just have a few surprises planned.

Posted: Yes

4.

The Prince, The Pauper, and the Purposeless Commentaries.

These are the boredom fueled commentaries of my ongoing story The Prince, The Pauper, and the Purposeless.

Ch.1Prt.1

5.

Bios and random information for stoies already posted

Song's From the Chipmunk stories.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YjFHTpB2S2wOneshots Ch. 13

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=W9kdxK3ozX8 Cousin Troubles Ch. 17

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iJZy7TIEOck&feature=relatedOneshots Ch. 14

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nYPnU1rFVkY Cousin Troubles Ch. 25

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=xBMEZvZSWFQ Witch Doctor from Cousin Troubles Ch. 28

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=nslYR1NBTJ0 BAD LUCK DAYS CH. 10

Song's Mentioned in Cousin Troubles Ch. 24:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FF7qP3LqdG4 The Alvin Twist

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=e0TzJfPoL94 Alvin's Harmonica

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=U7YQhYYVPO0 The Girls of Rock and Roll

A lot of people have been asking me what Dani, Sarah, Bella, and every one of OCs looks like, so I'm going to but little bios up here.

Danielle (Dani) Marie Whitman

Age: 14

Hair: Dark brown

Eyes: Green

Height: 5' 8"

Favorite Chipmunk: All of them, she can't choose. (If she had to choose: Simon)

She has braces that should be taken off in about a month, so they won't be mentioned much. At the start of the fanfic she is obsessed with the Chipmunks, but that obsession gets toned down a bit when they start living with her. (No need to freak them out)

She is a little tan, but not much.

Sarah Marie Whitman

Age: 7

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue. (Don't ask me how it happened)

Height: 4' 5"

Favorite Chipmunk: Alvin. (He is so much like her.)

She has an unlimited money supply, and no one knows where she gets it.

Susannah (Suze) Ann Dirba (Dani's cousin)

Age: 14 (Go figure)

Hair: Black

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5'7"

Favorite Chipmunk: Yet to be reviled

Bella Nicole White (She is not related to Brittney White, but they do have the same last name.)

Age: 13

Hair: Dirty blonde

Eyes: Brown

Height: 5' 1"

Favorite Chipmunk: Theodore (He's toooo cute!)

She is Dani best friend and is majorly obsessed with the Chipmunks. She shows it every chance she gets, even when Alvin, Simon, or Theodore are near.

Dylan Daniel Gates

Age: 14

Hair: Raven Black

Eyes: Blue

Height: 5' 9"

Favorite Chipmunk: Doesn't have one, hasn't known them enough to choose.

Brenda Marie Whitman (Dani's mother.)

Age: 40

Hair: Brown with blonde streaks in it.

Eyes: Hazel

Height: 5' 6"

Favorite Chipmunk: Theodore

Christopher (Chris) Joseph Whitman (Dani's dad)

Age: 45

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Blue

Favorite Chipmunk: Stuffed.

Kimberly- Ann Nicole McCain

Age: 14

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Blue

Favorite Chipmunk: Theodore

They're Chipmunkalicious!

Chipmunks Ages in The fanfictions:

Note: As most of you might remember, I put the Chipmunks birthday on February Fourteenth. So in the span between RCMCC (Which happens right before Christmas) and Cousin Troubles,( Which happens in March) their birthday passed.

RCMCC: Nine
Oneshots Ch 1: (A ball and a Vase? What could go wrong?): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 2 (Light Switch): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 3 (The Dog): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 4 (The Date) Nine
Oneshots Ch. 5 (Strange House): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 6 (The Witch): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 7 (Bad Dreams): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 8 (Boooo!): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 9 (Missing): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 10 (Neighbors): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 11 (Picking out a Christmas Tree): Nine
Oneshots Ch. 12 (Brothers and Old Boots): Ten
Oneshots Ch. 13 (Tornado): Nine years, eleven months
Cousin Troubles: Ten

6.

Random Chipmunk Stuff

Favorite Chipmunk Quotes:

Theodore: Maybe the monster doesn't understand English.
Simon: That little glass of yours is always half full, isn't it?
Theodore: Haha. yeah... What little glass?

-Alvin and the Chipmunk Meet Frankenstein

Theodore: Oh, Vanessa! Alvin has something for you!
Alvin: Shut up, Theodore!
Theo: -gasps- You said the "S" word!
Alvin: Oh, my, Gosh! She's coming over!
Simon and Theodore in singsong voice: Alvin and Vanessa sitting' in a tree...
Alvin: I'm gonna kill you guys!
Simon and Theodore: K-I-S-S-I-N-G...
Alvin: Stop it!
Simon and Theo: First comes love and then comes marriage...
Alvin: And then death. I mean it guys.
Simon and Theodore: Then comes Alvin with the baby carriage.

-When you wish upon a Chipmunk. (A CD)

Theo: But I hate rollar coasters!
Alvin: Well, Dragonland's not a rollar coaster.
Theo: Oooh! Really?
Alvin: Really. A rollar coaster just up, and down, and around. Dragonland does all of that plus it surrounds you with incedibly realistic fire-breathing mythical monsters, with yard long razer shap teeth and claws.. mhahah.
Simon: Silence my little friend. You're scaring Theodore to death.
Alvin: Hehe, sorry Theodore. Are you okay?
Theodore: Nothing a little snack couldn't cure.

-Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman

Theo: Gosh Alvin, are you okay?
Alvin: Yeah, I think so. WHERE'S MY CAP?!
Simon: What happened Alvin? Trip over you're ego?
Theodore: I bet Alvin would feel better if I had something to eat. Why don't we find a snack bar?

-Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein

Alvin and Simon dive for the couch: I've got the remote!
Simon gets it first: Haha! -Turns on T.V. and it's on a channel Alvin likes.-
Alvin: Cool! Madam Raya!
Simon: -hold remote out to change channel.- Eeh!
Alvin grabs remote:
Simon: Hey!
Alvin: Haha yourself! -Turns it back to Madam Raya-
Simon: Aren't you afraid this'll rot you're brain?
Alvin: To late.

-Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman

Simon: Alvin! We're not recyling! You lied to me!
Alvin: I didn't lie. I just changed the truth to get what I wanted. Aldults do it all the time.
Simon: Don't stoop to their level!
Alvin: To late!

-Alvin and the Chipmunks Halloween Special

Dave: I still can't belive you were using Talbot's cane to defend yourself from... What was it again?
Alvin: A...um... giant gopher...
Dave: And you're sure that's the story you wanna go with?
Alvin: Why? Do you have a better one?

-Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman

That's all I can remember right now, but I'll put up more later.

Random Chipmunk Facts.

Instruments:

Alvin: Harmonica, Cello, and guitar, and piano.
Simon: Piano, Drums, Tuba, Bass guitar, Saxophone, Bass Clarinet, and bagpipes.
Theodore: Drums, Clarinet, and Keyboard

Simon had no buck teeth in The Alvin Show

Alvin went through a growth spurt between the '60's and the '80's.

Simon has had three different pairs of glasses.

Theodore started out with a deeper voice than Simon.

7.

Copy and past crap

If a fork is made of gold, will it still be called silverware?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to "Woman Hitler"?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

Smile. It confuses people.

Americans worship money. I have been looking for God all my life and he is right in my pocket.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

A pretty girl can kiss a guy, a bird can kiss a butterfly, the rising sun can kiss the grass, but you my friend!! Yes You!! YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!

A day without sunshine is like...night.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED. Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepair to shatter.

Rules to writting Chipmunks fanfictions. Written by: Chipmunklover and Kity Seville.

Note: After looking at hundreds of fanfics and millions of reivews. Kitty Seville and I have compiled this list of sixteen rules that you must follow to write a Chipmunk fanfic. (Side note: You don't have to follow them, We just say that because we have to.)

1) They are brothers, nothing else.
Nope, they're sisters, mousesess, and friends. Cue Friends theme song

2) They must always live with Dave.
No, they're going to live in a water tower!

3) They must always end up with the Chipettes. Alvin can hit on other girls, but he must end up with Brittany.
Noooooo! They're going to end up old wrinkled and alone!

4) They cannot die.
So they're IMMORTAL?!

5) They can have superpowers, but the color of the magic/ mystical zone has to he the same color as they're signature colors.
No. Alvin'll have pink, Simon sarchurse, and Theodore purple.

6) They can't die.
Nah, they can. We're just going to crush a lot of little kids dreams of meeting real walking, talking Chipmunks. What's wrong with that? Wait!! Why is this on here twice?!

7) They can't be severly injured.
There goes about 15 percent of the stories.

8) There cannot be any OCs. Only the Chipmunks, Dave, and the characters created my the Bagdasarians.
There goes the other 85 percent.

9) The Chipettes HAVE to live with Miss Miller.
No, they're going to live in a pet shop.

10) If you kill them, thus violating numbers 4 and 6, you must bring them back. Also making it a horror story.
Now they're really IMMORTAL! They're ZOMBIES!!

11) They can't be in horror stories.
So what's the point of ten? Doesn't that make it redundant?

12) You must have at least three jokes/gags in a chapter.
What if someone's dead or dieing? Will we be arrested by clowns?

13) If you do a Chipmunk crossover, it must be with some other cartoon. Not live action.
What if it's live action Chipmunks?

14) If you have songs, they have to fit in the story. Not just be random.
When you have concerts in the story, the songs aren't random. They're meant to be there!! Take that!!

15) The Chipmunks do not work for free. If you use them you must send Ross Bagdasarian 100 dollars by the end of the month, or else you'll die instantly.
What if it's the last day of the month?

16) Don't talk about the rules, don't tell people about the rules, don't even think about the rules.
We just broke that one posting them!! (We broke it making them! HAHAHAHAHA!)

If you have ever broken or are planning to break any of these rules, then copy and paste them into your profile!

IF YOU CAN NOT APPRECIATE THE DIVINE HOTTNESS OF EDWARD CULLEN PLEASE LEAVE THIS PROFILE...NOW GO SHOO (DAMN MUTTS)

Also

IF YOU APPRECTIATE THE AWESOME AWESOMENESS OF THE CHIPMUNKS GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! Now go! Stupid flying squirrels.

Warning:Randomness Ahead!!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha No!

Friends will say "You deserve better" Best friends will call him n say " You die in seven days"

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

"Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork."

Of all the things I've lost... I miss my mind the most.

Of course I'm talking to myself: who else can I trust?

Don't follow me I'm lost too.

At least I don't CARE what those mindless people think of me.

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it?

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in your face?!

Haha. I don't get it.

A good friend will come bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the next cell saying,"Let's do it again!!"

So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

If at first you don't suceed then sky diving isn't for you.

Those who throw objects at the crocodiles will be asked to retrive them.

Set sail in a general...THAT WAY direction.

Music is my boyfriend.

Definition of Your Mom: How to anwser a question when your bored.

Poke me. I dare you.

This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.

Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that.

Bom. Chicka. Waa. Waa.

You cry. I cry. You laugh. I laugh. You jump off a cliff. I laugh even harder.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

When life gives you lemons, chunck them at the people you hate.

Danger: The person beside you is stupid.

It doesnt matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown,28 muscles to smile,but only 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone.

This world is full of crazy people.THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

Defenition of homework-crude form of mind control still practiced in some priminal areas of the world

One day your prince will come.Mine?Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions.

WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm here because Heaven wouldn't take me,and hell was afraid I'd take over.

I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?

Whenever you feel pissed off at someone,walk a mile in their shoes. That way you'r a mile away from them andyou have their shoes!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Did you know...Sarcasm is your body's natural defense against stupidity.

Have you seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorway and run away... he hates that.

Paper may beat rock but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keybord can crush your crummy pen!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the anwser and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Boys are like trees- they take 50 years to grow up.

My knight in shining armor turned put to be a loser in aluminum foil.

How are the force and duct-tape the same?- Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Charm is a way of getting the amwser yes without asking a clear question.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!

The sun has set the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!!

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

When life gives you lemons squirt them in life's eyes, then run far, far away.

Who was the first person to look a cow andsay, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?

When French people swear do they say padon my English?

"Most people learn by observation, and there are a few who lear by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." Anonymous

If technically after midnight it's morning, then why do we call it the middle of the night? Shouldn't we call it something like early morning?

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghtsof the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

TOP 14 REASONS THAT YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH EDWARD CULLEN
1.You make your boyfriend die his hair bronze, and if he doesn't, you break up with him.

2.You call your boyfriend Edward even though its not his name, if he doesn't like it, you break up with him.

3.You make your boyfriend listen to Debusy everytime your in your car, if he doesn't like it, well you know the drill. :)

4.You make your boyfriend wear Vampire teeth, and if he ask's you why, you break up with him.

5.Whenever your boyfriend invites you over to watch a movie, you always put in Romeo & Juliet.

6.If your boyfriend pulls up in a car that is not a silver Volvo, u call the cops.

7.When you andyour boyfriend want to take a vacation and he suggests Italy, you yell at him an then break up with him

8.When your boyfriend tells you that he has two tickets to go to Forks, Washington, you pat him on the head and give him Animal blood, but if he refuses, you take your ticket and break up with him.

9. you make him read all the Twilight books so much that he has them memorized.

10.You tell your boyfriend that he will always be 2nd in your heart because Edward Cullen is first.

11. if your boyfriend doesn't have a white mansion, you tell him he has to buy one.

12. if he has no brothers or sisters named alice, jasper, emmett, rosalie, then you ask him "who are you?" and leave him.

13.you make your boyfriend listen to all the sad andhappy songs that remind you of edward and bella and if he quetions you why, you throw him out of your car.

14.you ask your boyfriend what type of drug he thinks you are, and if he says anything other then heroine, you start to cry and tell him to leave.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

And the sad thing is, I've done alot of these things...

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIEND'S AND BEST FRIEND'S

FRIEND: never ask for food or drink

BEST FRIEND: the reason why your fridge is empty

F: would come bail you out of jail

BF: in the next cell yelling"DAMN WE MESSED UP...AGAIN"!!

F:only knows a few things about you

BF:is writing a embarasing biography about you that you don't know about as we speak

F: knocks on the door

BF:walks right in and yells"I'M HOOOOOOOME"!!

if you can raed tihs, cnorgadluatoins! You are one or the sarmt peploe who dno't need to look at the wrod idniviudlaly, but as a wolhe! Olny samrt poeple can raed tihs bceuase tehy are good raedres. Msot good raedres can raed wrdos wehn the frist and lsat ltetres of the wrod are the smae, and tehre are the smae auomnt of lteters in the wrod.

25 Reasons I owe my mother.

1. My mother taught me to APPERCIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into next week."

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORSIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about,"

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mout and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about weather.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

10. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck."

11. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

" You'll sit there until all that spinich is gone."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a millon times. Don't exaggerate."

13. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children i htis world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

16. My mother taught me about about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing you eyes, their going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me about RECIEVING.

" You are going to get it when we get home."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold."

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come crying to me."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me MOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

" When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."

Warning: MAJOR Randomness ahead

The stupider people think you are, the more surprised they are when you kill them.

Rafioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Do not meddel in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunch and good with ketchup.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

I'm a palm reader: GASP! You're going to die! But don't worry; you'll live through it.

There are two kinds of pedestrian: the quick and the dead.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Sucide hotline...please hold...

Don't drink and drive- you might spill the beer.

Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll think your on drugs.

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!

Guys: No shirt,no service. Girls: No shirt, no charge.

Dying is nature's way of saying,"Hey! You're not alive anymore!"

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bed skydiver? The golfer goes (Whack) "Dang!" The skydiver goes, "Dang!" (Whack)

When women are deppressed, they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.

You never realy learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Next time you wave, use more than one finger, please!

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

I try to take life one day at a time, but, lately, several days have attacked me at once!

Slow and steady gets you trampled by other people.

When opertunity knocks, shoot first, ask questions later.

I wanted to kill the prettiest person alive then I realized...Oh ya suicides a bad thing.

If its tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Scientists say one out of every four people are crazy. Check three of your friends if their o.k. then your it.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

\Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may mot follow. Do not walk beside me either just leave me the hell alone!

What goes around gets dizzy and falls over.

Why is it that when a person tells you there are a million stars in the universe you belive them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it to make sure.

You know your getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair you used to get from a rollar coaster.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

Isn't having a smoking section in a restraunt like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

When I'm feeling down I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of the chain and gag himself.

Don't play dumb with me... I'm better at it.

If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If it still dosen't work redefine success.

I hurt myself speed reading. I hit a bookmark.

Women should not have children after 35...realy 35 children is enough.

Two wrongs are only the begining.

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie.

I love dead lines. I love the wooshing sound they make as they pass by.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver but if you pair that with shouting you get diamond.

Things not to say on an airplane number 47 "Hi, Jack."

It realy is as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

If you saw my room, you would know why I don't have my homework.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, GET OVER IT.

Stupid is as stupid does.

You can roll in manure and powered sugar, but that dosen't make it a jelly-filled donut.

Newton's law to teenagers: An object at rest stays at rest unless forced to move.

Axe is the best smelling smell you can smell.

There are three types of people: Those who can't count and those who can.

Boys are like dogs: You say hi, pat them on the head, and they follow you home.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Life isn't passing by. It's running me over.

Never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience.

A wise man washes his hands after he pees, A wiser man dosen't pee on his hands.

Everyone is entilted tobe stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them has never tried contacting us.

The computer beat me once at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars in the sky, I thought to myself, where's the ceiling?

THINGS THAT COME AT ME AT RANDOM TIMES

Why is it considered necessary to naildown the lid of a coffin?

Why don't we ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why dosen't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man that invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the plane out of the same substance that instructble little black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities theatens suicide, is that consisdered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed would milk come out of her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder wha the speed of lightning would be if it din't zigzag?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why does the word Filipino start with letter "F"?

EMO= extravegentley made origami

If the sky is the limit then what is space, over the limit?

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

ITS TIME FOR...COPY AND PASTE QUOTES!!

If you are obsessed with Alvin and the Chipmunks, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with the Warner brothers (Yakko and Wakko), the Warner sister (Dot), and the rest of the cast of Animaniacs, copy and paste this into your profile.

if every time you hear the name EDWARD CULLEN you scream bloody murder copy and paste this into your profile.

if you have ever laughed in a silent room because of something you heard yesterday CAPTIYP

if you have ever ran into a tree while running CAPTIYP

if you have ever ran into a door CAPTIYP

if you have ever asked a random obvious question CAPTIYP

if you have refused to join the dark side a.k.a. Zutara and have remaind a proud Kataang shipper then CAPTIYP

if you want those stupid annoying voices in your head to just SHUT UP already CATIYP

if you are obsessed with fanfiction.net CATIYP

if you are against abortion CAPTIYP

if someone has ever told you your wierd and you reply "what was your first clue" CAPTIYP

if you ever wonder who started these copy and paste quotes CAPTIYP

if your hair can be considerded a weapon CAPTIYP

if you have ever argued with your-self and lost CAPTIYP

if you wish 'someone' could be ran over by a bus CAPTIYP

milk tastes good.people call me random but im just weird.if you are weird and proud of it CAPTIYP

if people call you a perfectionist and yet you post a chapter with a thousand mistakes in it CAPTIYP

if people think you are mentally insane...and you agree CAPTIYP

if this is the longest profile you have ever seen CAPTIYP

if you think your profile is longer CAPTIYP

if you believe vampires are real SCREAM...then CAPTIYP

if you think Jacob should just drop dead and let Bella get on with her life CAPTIYP

if you hate slash stories CAPTIYP

if you think Danny and Sam were made for each other (the ghost and the goth) CAPTIYP

if you have ever jumped off a building in hopes that when you get to the hosiptle Carlisle will be there to take care of you CAPTIYP

if you have ever tripped over air CAPTIYP

Even if you can't see him GOD is there! If you belive in GOD CAPTIYP

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird isgood. If you're weird and proud of it, CAPTIYP

98 of teenage population does or had tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't CAPTIYP

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, CAPTIYP

92 of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 that would be laughing your ass off!

My best friendis insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, CAPTIYP

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, CAPTIYP

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there's a bitch in you're life that won't go screw herself/himself, that you verbally abused in your mind, CAPTIYP

If when you hear thunder you think it's vampires playing baseball CAPTIYP

R U Gummi addicted! Worms, bears, fish, or any other form of sugary, sweet, chewy, candy all apply! If so, please paste this onto your profile and add you name! Cause we Gummi lovers have to stick together!-- Diana26.5, Chipmunklover

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You a ccidentally enter your password on a microwave

2.)You haven't played solitare with real cards for years (or never have played it with cards)

3.)The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screename or MySpace

4.)You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.)Your boss dosen't even have the ability to do your job.

7.)As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.)As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.)You were to busy to notice number 5

10.)You scrolled back to see if there was a number 5

11.)Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.)Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said PULL or vice versa CAPTIYP

If you think those stupid kids should just give the forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, CAPTIYP

If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes CAPTIYP

If you have your own little world CAPTIYP

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time COPY AND PAST THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

If you've ever asked a really stupid obvious question, CAPTIYP

If you think the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechan alone, CAPTIYP

If you think the semi-colon is completely usless; stupid; annoying; and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it; copy this into your pro! (stupid semicolon)

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects CAPTIYP

If several inanimate objects hate you CAPTIYP

If you have ever wished that you had ghost powers CAPTIYP

If you think the father should just his daughter ask for some stupid Ego walffels CAPTIYP

The electric chair was invented by the dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, CAPTIYP

If you have long hair, and keep it up with a pencil on a daily basis then CAPTIYP

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews for one of your stories CAPTIYP

If your profile is long copy and paste this in it to make it even longer

Here ya go ladies... the comebacks you always needed.

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Women:Hiding from you.

M: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

W: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

M: Is this seat empty?

W: Yes, and so will this one if you sit down.

M: Your place or mine?

W: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

M: So what do you do for a living?

W: I'm a female impersonator.

M: Hey, baby, whats your sighn?

W: Do not enter.

M: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

W: Unfertilized

M: Your body is like a temple.

W: Sorry, no services today.

M: I would go to the end of the world for you.

W: But would you stay there?

M: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.

W: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

M: If I could rearange the alphabet I'd put u and i together.

W: Really? I'd put f and u together.

-Month One-

Mommy. I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs.The sound of your heart beat is my lullaby.

-Month Two-

Mommy. Today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitly see I'm a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm here.

-Month Three-

You know what Mommy? I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound do sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry too even though you can't hear me.

-Month Four-

Mommy. My hair is starting to grow. It is very short andfine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl m fingers and toes, and stretch my arms amd legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

-Month Five-

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

-Month Six-

I can hear the doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns!! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy, help me!!

-Month Seven-

Mommy. I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? What did I do wrong?

Every abortion is just..

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If your against abortion repost this and tell his story.

7.

Normal Conversations between me and my friends/family

Me and Bella/ Brittney, 3: 59 A.M. Sleep Deprivation High

Me: We should go to sleep.

Brittney: Okkay.

- 5 secs. later-

Me: -giggles and whispers- Wakko.

Brittney: -Burst out laughing- I can't sleep with you anymore.

Me: Goodnight everybody!!

Brittney: Blue gekko!!

Sarah: You... you... you... (she was mad at me for something)

Me: V...v...v...v...

Mother: (Looks at me like I'm crazy)

Me: What? I thought we were playing the letter game!

Sarah: (Looks at me) Ashley, you can't push a cicle block into that square hole - it's not possible.

Me: If they could get cameras on Gilligan's island, anythings possible.

Me: I wish I had a big button that blasts people into space...

Kitty: Me too.

Me: You know who I would blast into space?

Kitty: Who?

Me: Baloney the Dionasaur.

Kitty: Yes! Then Barney!

Me: Of course!

(We go on listing people we hate and blasting them into space.)

Me: The guy who invented the saftey pin!

Kitty: Um... ok...why?

Me: Because that thing is not safe! I pricked myself so many times I lost count!!

-A few days later, starring at the celing with Brittney.-

Brittney: I'm right there with you!

Emily: My Grandamabought me a new book. -holds up Diet for Teenagers-

Elizabeth and Bella: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahha -manical laughter hahahahahahahahhaha!!

Emily: Are you done yet?

Elizabeth: You know that saying so loud it will wake the dead?

Geena: Yea, why?

Elizabeth: If you scream any louder there are going to be a few dead guys walking around.

Emily: Why so you like the Chipmunks so much?

Elizabeth: Because they're talking chipmunks, whats not to like?

Emily: Time to call the shrink.

Elizabeth: Look a dead guy!

Emily: I don't get to do anything until six o'clock. I can't watch T.V., I can't text, I can't even look at magazines! -she pauses- But I can do what I want on Fridays.

Random person: What about the weekends?

Emily: I get weekends off too.

Another Random Person: Yea, she sits in the basement and sqeezes lemon all day.

Me and Brittney on chat. Warning: Inside Joke!

Me: An anvil's black and shiny.

Britt: It's really heavy too!

Me: We know you want to meet it!

Britt: It wants to meet you too!

Britt: Bang!

Me: Boom!

Britt: Crash!

Me: Why did it make three sounds?

Britt: Because it weighs three tons!

Now this is the weirdest conversation I have ever had with one of my friends. First a little background info:

1) Bella was not here. Just Elizabeth

2) Katie and I have the weirdest conversations on the planet.

3) I don't know how we got onto the subject of the Holocaust or Hitler.

Elizabeth: Hitler killed all the Jews, all the Gypsies, all the babies, and all the...

Katie: Babies! He's like the Pharaohs! (Referring to the Biblical story with the plagues and the Jews being slaves) They killed all the babies too! I know I'll save my people! (She's part German) I'll be like Joseph!

Elizabeth: It's Moses!

Katie: Fine Moses! I'll save them and part the Atlantic Ocean!

Elizabeth: The Red Sea.

Katie: No! The Atlantic Ocean! I'm going to get them from Germany and part the Atlantic Ocean the bring them to the magical land that is America.

Elizabeth: ...

Told you it was going to be weird.

9.

Closing

A Piece Of Advice:
I make it a point to watch some form of childish cartoon everyday. It helps to escape reality for a while and go back to being a carefree child. People usually don't understand this until it's too late to fix broken years. Until the stress is too much. Until they are beyond help. But it's never too late to be a kid again, if only for thirty mintues. Be that little kid. Cleanse your soul with simple shows and humor. Right now, I have Disney songs on my iPod, right next to the gory screamo. Even me, a person in so deep can come out of their hole and listen to "I'll Make A Man Out Of You." I implore you, be a kid, at the least for thirty mintues each day.

If you made it all the way down here without dieing from stupidity overload, then I congradulate you. Thanks for reading this. It makes me happy. Unless you're reading it for blackmail. Then I hope you burn in a lake somewhere. =)

~Ashley